Indian Matchmaking - General Discussion

[Irlandesa]

7 hours ago, ClareWalks said:

I wonder if it's actually a second season or if it's a second half of season one.

I think it's a mistake.  It doesn't specify "Season 2" or "Season 1B which it does for other shows about to air new seasons.  A couple of other sites that list Netflix things dropping on Aug. 16th don't have that listed which makes me think it's some kind of data entry error.  Someone put in Aug. 16th instead of July 16th (which is when it actually dropped.)

To support that theory, if you look back at their "What's coming to Netflix in July" list, they don't have Indian Matchmaking listed on July 16th.

4 hours ago, Enero said:

I’ve seen several people mention this and I just didn’t see it. They seemed to get along well but there was no sexual tension between them. More like a friendship vibe than anything else.

I don't necessarily expect to see sexual tension in real life the way I would if I were watching a comedy or drama.  I just think he lit up around her.

[MissScarlett]

On 7/20/2020 at 7:10 PM, Bunnyette said:

Poor Nadia with that flaky Vinnie, Pradhyuman is gay...

That was my thought as well! I felt similar vibes from Akshay.

[MissScarlett]

On 7/30/2020 at 1:37 AM, Auntie Anxiety said:

Just watching him on this show was exhausting me. It’s like having to be a constant audience to an unfunny stand up comic. Either insecurity or he should switch to decaf.

He's bubbly, which I love! My impression is that he's determined to be the opposite of what his father is/was. Also, i'm sure some of what we saw could have been compensation to overcome some self-conscious feelings over his family history. This in addition to being hyper aware that he is on camera.

I wondered throughout his story if this was his idea or his family's idea. To me, he seemed like an individual who would go for a love marriage. Who knows, maybe he's always yearned for something more traditional. His mom seemed very sweet.

 

 

[EarlGreyTea]

14 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

I think it's a mistake.  It doesn't specify "Season 2" or "Season 1B which it does for other shows about to air new seasons.  A couple of other sites that list Netflix things dropping on Aug. 16th don't have that listed which makes me think it's some kind of data entry error.  Someone put in Aug. 16th instead of July 16th (which is when it actually dropped.)

You're probably right. I had a hard time confirming this date elsewhere. 2020 strikes again! This year needs to pack up and go home. I expect nothing and am still disappointed. But not as disappointed as Akshay's mom.

Edited August 3, 2020 by EarlGreyTea

[MissScarlett]

Akshay is kind of a mystery. We know he loves his mom.  I didn't see much passion in him as a person. Even with his cousin, though he came alive a bit more around her, he was still very mechanical. I didn't get love vibes between the two of them so much as she was excited to be on camera. That girl is a force and I love it.

He doesn't seem to be on board with marriage at all. He basically left the work up to his mom, who told him that she would pick someone for him if he didn't make the choice himself. It seemed like his life at college was very mundane as well. He buried himself in books and stayed pretty focused on education.  Relationships were a distant thought if a thought at all tbh. He mentioned to his cousin that he had been in some relationships before but he mentions this so nonchalant, that it appeared those relationships didn't really make a difference in his life.  

It seems that his mom's overbearing presence made it difficult for him to mature into a man (let alone be his own man), so that has him psychologically and emotionally stunted or so it appears. 

I get that this is a television show and so some of this is heightened or downplayed due to producer preferences but his story kind of bothered me because it seemed like he's essentially being forced into this whether he wants it or not. Plus, his brother and sister-in-law are on a baby timetable apparently, so a nice bit of extra pressure added to his shoulders.

Shit...maybe he's just zoned out because all of this is so overwhelming.

[gingerella]

22 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

I think it's a mistake.  It doesn't specify "Season 2" or "Season 1B which it does for other shows about to air new seasons.  A couple of other sites that list Netflix things dropping on Aug. 16th don't have that listed which makes me think it's some kind of data entry error.  Someone put in Aug. 16th instead of July 16th (which is when it actually dropped.)

I agree with this because if there was a part two to this season, or a Season 2, they wouldn't be all over social media telling where they are now.

[Pepper Mostly]

Bitch Media on Indian Matchmaking. Some of the points were raised here, so I thought I would share it. 

https://www.bitchmedia.org/article/indian-matchmaking-eugenics-as-entertainment?utm_content=buffer65ffa&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer&fbclid=IwAR0Q9lBAYLil87_jaeIkXUaeNEZ6u0JUT9b1yKERl4ZN0U2ynDL5Myu495w

 

[Neurochick]

1 hour ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Bitch Media on Indian Matchmaking. Some of the points were raised here, so I thought I would share it. 

https://www.bitchmedia.org/article/indian-matchmaking-eugenics-as-entertainment?utm_content=buffer65ffa&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer&fbclid=IwAR0Q9lBAYLil87_jaeIkXUaeNEZ6u0JUT9b1yKERl4ZN0U2ynDL5Myu495w

 

Good article, but some of the complaints bug me; these folk act as if this only happens in India.  Even in the US, partners, especially women are judged on their looks, body shapes, etc.  Colorism exists as well as featureism, textureism, weightism and ageism.  All of these exist in the USA.

[Empress1]

On 7/23/2020 at 3:32 PM, configdotsys said:

[Aparna] doesn't even like being a lawyer.

I’m about halfway through this show, and when Aparna was on a date with Shekar and he said he loved being a lawyer and she was like “Wow, really?” I laughed, because I know lots of lawyers and most of them dislike it. The ones that do work about which they are genuinely passionate (e.g. public defenders) dislike being broke; the ones who have BigLaw jobs like the money but hate the work and hours. It sounded like Shekar works in a human-interest area of law (on his date with Nadia he said “when a refugee comes into my office...”) so he may be working in an area he’s passionate about; Aparna is general counsel for a company, which tends not to inspire as much passion. But I did laugh at that. Aparna is not the only unhappy lawyer out there.

But damn, she hates a lot of things. Beaches. Comedy. Podcasts. Relaxing. Most of the people she goes on dates with. When she was with Shekar and he said he’s always wanted to go to Dubai, she says “that’s weird.” Why not tell him something about the place? “Make sure you bring sunscreen!” and then you talk about how hot it gets, and that leads to “the hottest place I’ve ever been ...” like, this is basic date stuff. I fell out when Shekar was trying to be all diplomatic but you could see he meant “NOPE.”

On 7/29/2020 at 7:50 PM, Stan39 said:

And her, “He did that thing I hate. Where we’re on a date and he talks to other people. Like the bartender or waiter. He shouldn’t be concerned with people who are inconsequential in his life.” Wow. How do her friends not call her out on that. Poor tipping and being rude to wait staff is on EVERYBODY’s red flag list. 
 

Yes! I was like, "He ... is ordering a drink. Good Lord." How is he supposed to order food without talking to the server? Also, there's a saying that if a person is nice to you but not nice to folks in the service industry, they're not actually a nice person. That's what I think about Aparna so far - she's just not a nice person. Like, Nadia seems like a warm person. Aparna really doesn't.

Edited August 5, 2020 by Empress1

[Neurochick]

4 hours ago, Empress1 said:

Yes! I was like, "He ... is ordering a drink. Good Lord." How is he supposed to order food without talking to the server? Also, there's a saying that if a person is nice to you but not nice to folks in the service industry, they're not actually a nice person. That's what I think about Aparna so far - she's just not a nice person. Like, Nadia seems like a warm person. Aparna really doesn't.

I think Aparna is just a miserable person because she let her mother tell her who she is.  Aparna has no idea who she is, what she likes, nothing.  She's done everything her mother wanted and probably hates herself.  

[Oosala]

Neurochick, I got the name wrong.  It's called A Suitable Girl.  Check it out.

[sskrill]

Well this was an interesting watch.

Let's start with, why does matchmaking even still exist?  I would think the internet would have made this obsolete.

Aparna.  Good god.  What a miserable person.  Lots of us don't like our jobs, lots of us have overbearing parents, but few of us treat people the way she does.  Her goal seems to be to find someone whose spirit she can break, and then control.  Her mother is a miserable cow, but she's 34 years old ... at what point are you responsible for your own attitude?  I liked that first guy and I'm glad it didn't work out - he deserves better.    I'd feel sorry for her if she wasn't so fucking arrogant.

Akshay.  I feel bad for him.  Another overbearing mother.  I don't think he was into his cousin at all, they were just good friends.  His cousin seemed very western in dress and personality and seems like she'll have a much happier life than he will.  Interesting being from the same family.  

Nadia.  Nice girl.  Hope she finds someone nice but likely going to have to let the Guyanese thing go.  Maybe look for someone who also has a mixed background so there's a similar understanding.  Vinay was a dick to blow her off twice - why even sign up with a matchmaker then treat someone like that.

Pradhyuman. Gay.

Vyasar.  Too much personality for me but I wish him well.  I think he'd be a good husband and father.  Likely will end up with a white woman.

Loved the When Harry Met Sally openings.  Some of those couples were hilarious.

[Scarlett45]

These women, of diverse Indian backgrounds (Hindu, Muslim and Farsi) join Kimberly Nicole Foster on YouTube to discuss this series. They are hilarious and thought provoking.

 

5 hours ago, sskrill said:

Let's start with, why does matchmaking even still exist?  I would think the internet would have made this obsolete.

Computers and algorithms are great, but human beings take out the leg work. Yes an internet dating site can filter by criteria by the bio data but you aren't going to get the emotional nuances, personality traits, social capital and coaching a human being can provide.

 

Again this is not a culture where people put in their bio data (or demographics as we would say in the USA) to "get to know someone" and see if they are compatible. A matchmaker can take out the hours of human interaction and social reference check, a couple would have to spend before getting to the "lets get engaged phase", and these clients obviously have the money to pay someone to take out the leg work. 

 

It's like saying "online shopping would've made personal shoppers obsolete"- yes online shopping has cut down the amount of time busy people spend in stores, but there are still personal shoppers and subscription boxes, there are still people that are willing to pay more money to have someone choose for them, even if they send it back in the end- same concept. 

[Irlandesa]

7 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

It's like saying "online shopping would've made personal shoppers obsolete"- yes online shopping has cut down the amount of time busy people spend in stores, but there are still personal shoppers and subscription boxes, there are still people that are willing to pay more money to have someone choose for them, even if they send it back in the end- same concept. 

That's a good analogy even if we didn't really see the success of matchmaking here.  I mean, if Guru didn't want a drinker, he shouldn't have been paired with Nadia if it mattered that much.  The distance would be an obstacle but I could see Aparna with someone like Ashkay.  She'd butt heads all the time with his mother but he kind of seemed like he'd be comfortable married to someone who makes all the decisions for him if that's how he grew up. 

And as an OT aside, good personal shoppers are the best! I wanted to find a dress and personal shoppers are free at Nordstrom's.  (So it wasn't a mail service).  They know what's in the store and they will bring you things that they think look good on you even if you wouldn't have picked them out yourself.  The store is more expensive but the dress I got is my favorite (and has lasted and is still in style) and helped me realize what other similar shaped dresses I could consider in the future. Plus, so much time saved. In theory, matchmaking can often be like that if they're good matchmakers.  Sometimes it's the person you wouldn't normally pick for yourself if they hadn't been pushed in front of you as a potential mate that ends up being the person you actually need.

[Scarlett45]

5 minutes ago, Irlandesa said:

That's a good analogy even if we didn't really see the success of matchmaking here.  I mean, if Guru didn't want a drinker, he shouldn't have been paired with Nadia if it mattered that much.  The distance would be an obstacle but I could see Aparna with someone like Ashkay.  She'd butt heads all the time with his mother but he kind of seemed like he'd be comfortable married to someone who makes all the decisions for him if that's how he grew up. 

And as an OT aside, good personal shoppers are the best! I wanted to find a dress and personal shoppers are free at Nordstrom's.  (So it wasn't a mail service).  They know what's in the store and they will bring you things that they think look good on you even if you wouldn't have picked them out yourself.  The store is more expensive but the dress I got is my favorite (and has lasted and is still in style) and helped me realize what other similar shaped dresses I could consider in the future. Plus, so much time saved. In theory, matchmaking can often be like that if they're good matchmakers.  Sometimes it's the person you wouldn't normally pick for yourself if they hadn't been pushed in front of you as a potential mate that ends up being the person you actually need.

Oh yeah Guru should've done that. But sometimes people don't know what they want :). 

 

I know why personal shoppers exist, but for me, choosing my own is half the fun (along with wearing it). I TOO have a shopper at Nordstrom that keeps me in the know with sales and things but I choose along with her. with Covid-19 I sent her my list for Anniversary sale. Who knew Indian Matchmaker and our experiences at Nordstrom would have so much in common!

[sskrill]

2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Computers and algorithms are great, but human beings take out the leg work. Yes an internet dating site can filter by criteria by the bio data but you aren't going to get the emotional nuances, personality traits, social capital and coaching a human being can provide.

Yet we only saw one success that I can remember - and his mom likely made that choice.  If we consider how many bios she shared back and forth there really weren't even that many dates.  I don't know that I think she really contributed much with the exception of the life coaches who didn't really seem to improve the process either.

It seems like video chat "dates" would be faster and much more efficient.  Maybe with a list of topics that might be important to discuss during each "date".

Maybe its Western sensibilities creeping its way into the process.  Maybe that's why so many of the participants walked away.

[Ohmo]

On 7/21/2020 at 3:15 PM, athousandclowns said:

Most of all I loved Vyasar the school adviser.  

I loved how the students at his school (the ones in the library) were clearly trying to help him get a date by talking about his positive qualities.  They were trying to hook him up (in a good way).  It showed how much they liked him.

[Ohmo]

On 7/21/2020 at 9:40 PM, Bunnyette said:

Perhaps Aparna is gay too...

I don't think so.  I think she's just very driven.  She's financially successful, and for her, I think a man is a want, not a need.  Some women need a man, but Aparna is not one of those women.  She's got her job, her travels, and if the right guy comes along (Jay?) then great.  If not, that's OK,too.

[Neurochick]

5 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

These women, of diverse Indian backgrounds (Hindu, Muslim and Farsi) join Kimberly Nicole Foster on YouTube to discuss this series. They are hilarious and thought provoking.

Thanks for that.  But the thing is, there was nothing those women said that doesn't exist in the US.  In the US there is a scale on who is and who isn't desirable.  And there is a caste system:  if you go to a private school doors will be open to you that may not be open if you go to a public school.  People go crazy to get their children in the "right" preschools.  So caste exists in the USA.  I've also known women who got advanced degrees to be more desirable to a higher earning partner. 

I once knew of a woman who was very intelligent but had some health issues.  The man she eventually married was considered "beneath" her by her family.  For her, he was perfect because he was willing to accept her health issues, where as men who were in "her class" did not (example, she could not have children, which was a HUGE issue, but her husband already had children).

And the irony, my friend was slim, tall and fair.

 

Edited August 8, 2020 by Neurochick

[Scarlett45]

40 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

Thanks for that.  But the thing is, there was nothing those women said that doesn't exist in the US.  In the US there is a scale on who is and who isn't desirable.  And there is a caste system:  if you go to a private school doors will be open to you that may not be open if you go to a public school.  People go crazy to get their children in the "right" preschools.  So caste exists in the USA.  I've also known women who got advanced degrees to be more desirable to a higher earning partner. 

I once knew of a woman who was very intelligent but had some health issues.  The man she eventually married was considered "beneath" her by her family.  For her, he was perfect because he was willing to accept her health issues, where as men who were in "her class" did not (example, she could not have children, which was a HUGE issue, but her husband already had children).

 

Oh yeah absolutely. The thing is in mainstream white North American culture (if there is such a thing) IMO there’s a huge ruse that the heteronormative marriage market ISNT a market place*, which is why I think people end up angry and disillusioned. As a black woman I think communities of color are more practical about things like that.
 

At least in Indian culture people are more honest and straight forward about things because there isn’t the attitude that marriage is supposed to primarily be about love, emotional fulfillment & partnered sex. Not that these things are “bad” or not worth considering but that’s not the POINT of marriage for most of the world. 
 

*or they think it’s a trait of a by gone era or only the 1%, I don’t think that it is. 

[Empress1]

11 hours ago, Ohmo said:

I loved how the students at his school (the ones in the library) were clearly trying to help him get a date by talking about his positive qualities.  They were trying to hook him up (in a good way).  It showed how much they liked him.

Kids tend to be good judges of character so when I saw that scene I thought “he’s probably a good guy.” I liked when one kid told the rest not to judge him for going to the movies alone because I go to movies alone (or did, when going to the movies was a thing).

[Scarlett45]

32 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Kids tend to be good judges of character so when I saw that scene I thought “he’s probably a good guy.” I liked when one kid told the rest not to judge him for going to the movies alone because I go to movies alone (or did, when going to the movies was a thing).

Yeah! What’s wrong with going to movies alone?

 

the guidance counselor seemed to be a really great guy but a traditional match maker may not be for him, given the type of women that would use the service. Or maybe online dating for Indian American people. 

[sugarbaker design]

2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

the guidance counselor seemed to be a really great guy but a traditional match maker may not be for him, given the type of women that would use the service. Or maybe online dating for Indian American people. 

But in all these cases, unless I'm mistaken, the matchmaker is hired by the parents, not the singletons.  I can't see the parents using an app.

[Ohmo]

14 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

At least in Indian culture people are more honest and straight forward about things because there isn’t the attitude that marriage is supposed to primarily be about love, emotional fulfillment & partnered sex.

Yeah, the one woman at the very end of Episode 8, she clearly said that she was close to her family, she was Indian, and arranged marriages are what many Indians do.

[Scarlett45]

4 hours ago, sugarbaker design said:

But in all these cases, unless I'm mistaken, the matchmaker is hired by the parents, not the singletons.  I can't see the parents using an app.

Apurna hired the matchmaker as did Nadia, and the guy who was a guidance counselor. I meant the guidance counselor might have better luck with an app than a traditional matchmaker. Different clientele as it were. 

[Neurochick]

23 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

These women, of diverse Indian backgrounds (Hindu, Muslim and Farsi) join Kimberly Nicole Foster on YouTube to discuss this series. They are hilarious and thought provoking.

I think one of the issues is that people equate marriage with being an adult.  I feel that's behind a lot of the pressure, people don't want their friends to think there's something wrong with their children and in turn something wrong with them.  Even on that YouTube channel, it sounded like there was a lot of prolonging adolescence going on.

And sometimes I find Kimberly very condescending. 

Edited August 8, 2020 by Neurochick

[auntiemel]

11 hours ago, Empress1 said:

Kids tend to be good judges of character so when I saw that scene I thought “he’s probably a good guy.” I liked when one kid told the rest not to judge him for going to the movies alone because I go to movies alone (or did, when going to the movies was a thing).

Heck, yeah! Going to the movies alone is fun. I go to the movies alone, and eat in restaurants alone, too. That's another thing people seem to have a hard time with. But I figure - why should I wait until someone else is free to do something I enjoy? It's my life, my schedule - if I have a hankering for a leisurely lunch or a midday movie, I'm freaking doing it! 😄

 

[Ohmo]

On 8/2/2020 at 8:42 PM, Irlandesa said:

I think it's a mistake. 

You're probably correct, but my devil's advocate rebuttal for more episodes possibly coming shortly is that I thought it was strange that we met the woman at her brother's wedding with less than 10 minutes to go in Episode 8.  They gave her a name card and started telling her story.  I thought that was odd because it wasn't like we were going to have time to follow her story.  Sima could have easily been seen going to the wedding and interacting with the guests as she looked for new clients,  Then fade to black.  End of season.

If Netflix were planning a release of more episodes in August, introducing that woman at the very end would make more sense.  She could be the hook to bridge the two groups of episodes.  Not much time will have passed, so viewers would likely remember her.

However, it's far more likely that you're right, which is a bummer because I want more episodes.

[Ohmo]

Akshay: I wondered if he might be somewhere on the neurodiverse spectrum.  He talked about liking graduate school and hanging out at the library or watching movies.  Both intellectual pursuits, but not particularly social pursuits.  He seemed the most social with his cousin.  Posters talked about him liking his cousin, but it could be that he was more social with his cousin because he knows her well and is able to interact with her more freely.  He knows what to expect from her.

Now, I don't think his mother would ever acknowledge or admit that her son is neurodiverse, but I think he could be.

[Empress1]

On 8/8/2020 at 10:33 PM, Ohmo said:

You're probably correct, but my devil's advocate rebuttal for more episodes possibly coming shortly is that I thought it was strange that we met the woman at her brother's wedding with less than 10 minutes to go in Episode 8.  They gave her a name card and started telling her story. 

That was really weird! I didn’t realize there were 8 episodes - I thought there were 10 - so when episode 8 ended I thought “That’s it?”

[Sheenieb]

I didn't get incest vibes from Akshay with his cousin, either. He's clearly closer to her than he is with his brother. We got glimpses of personality whenever he spoke to her.

The whole process is awkward, so it didn't surprise me that the first date conversations were painful, but to use Akshay as an example, his mother clearly controls his life. He wasn't raised to be his own man, he was raised to carry on tradition.

Spoiler

I wouldn't be surprised that the reason why things didn't work out with the engagement is because Radhika wanted to work.

I was very interested in Rupam's sister and her husband. If their father rudely shat on the first match because he was married to an American woman, God only knows how he probably felt that his daughter married someone not only outside the faith, but of a different race as well. We didn't see much of Rupam's mother. We only saw her when Rupam went to visit her sister. I thought her mother was dead. Maybe she didn't want to be featured.

I don't know if Pradhyuman is gay or not, but it isn't because of his closet or cooking. It didn't phase me that he was into beautiful things because his whole family business is about beauty. I thought it was dope as shit that he designed the clothes for the god figurines and had a little closet for them. I also appreciated that his parents just let him be in terms of his creativity. They may be annoyed at his waffling about marriage, but they didn't force him to have a stereotypical job.

Forget finding a husband, I don't even understand how Aparna has friends. Those women must be her day 1s from childhood because she's so unpleasant. She's a box checker so everything she does is about expectations, it isn't about finding joy. She'd get defensive over the most innocent questions. "What's a relaxing 10 days for you?" "Who needs to relax for 10 days?!" I also think that someone probably broke the shit out of her heart so she has this "men ain't shit" attitude until proven otherwise. I found it telling as well when her mother said that she got to "keep her daughters" after the divorce from their dad.

I loved Ankita. I felt it in my spirit when she said, "I own a goddamn business. I'm a businesswoman," but I did think she was harsh for dismissing her date for being divorced. I get wanting a heads up about it, but when she said her friend googled him, I thought that he had a secret family or a wife stashed away somewhere.

Nadia was sweet as well. She was a friend in my head.

One thing I appreciated about this series is that you'd think using a matchmaker would be a surefire way to find someone, but you still have to deal with the same bullshit. Flakiness, immaturity, or being a good match on paper, but when you meet, it's a dud. It goes to show you that there really are no rules to this love shit.

 

Edited August 15, 2020 by Sheenieb

[libgirl2]

On 8/3/2020 at 7:27 AM, MissScarlett said:

That was my thought as well! I felt similar vibes from Akshay.

I kind of wondered about them both. It must be tough if you are and your family wants you to marry.

On 8/7/2020 at 8:25 PM, Ohmo said:

I loved how the students at his school (the ones in the library) were clearly trying to help him get a date by talking about his positive qualities.  They were trying to hook him up (in a good way).  It showed how much they liked him.

He was a guy that I would want to date. He seems so full of life and just a really good man.

Edited August 15, 2020 by libgirl2

[LaLaLaLa]

On 7/29/2020 at 7:50 PM, Stan39 said:

Somebody needs to tell Aparna that she’s an asshole. I understand she became less negative on dates later in the series, but she still seemed very full of herself and didn’t seem to grasp this wasn’t just about giving her what she wanted. Most men aren’t going to be attracted to her personality. And her, “He did that thing I hate. Where we’re on a date and he talks to other people. Like the bartender or waiter. He shouldn’t be concerned with people who are inconsequential in his life.” Wow. How do her friends not call her out on that. Poor tipping and being rude to wait staff is on EVERYBODY’s red flag list. 
 

Agree that this matchmaker sucks. She matched Nadia and Arapna with the same guy and, other than being women, they have nothing in common. 

Aparna's attitude is awful AND she is unattractive. She'd have to be stunning looking (10+) to get away with that disgusting attitude but she is more like a 2 or 3. No chance she finds a guy with the combo of her attitude and looks.

[LaLaLaLa]

1 hour ago, Sheenieb said:

Forget finding a husband, I don't even understand how Aparna has friends. Those women must be her day 1s from childhood because she's so unpleasant. She's a box checker so everything she does is about expectations, it isn't about finding joy. She'd get defensive over the most innocent questions. "What's a relaxing 10 days for you?" "Who needs to relax for 10 days?!" I also think that someone probably broke the shit out of her heart so she has this "men ain't shit" attitude until proven otherwise. I found it telling as well when her mother said that she got to "keep her daughters" after the divorce from their dad.

Based on Aparna's adult personality, her dad may have been happy to unload her. 

[EarlGreyTea]

4 hours ago, LaLaLaLa said:

Aparna's attitude is awful AND she is unattractive. She'd have to be stunning looking (10+) to get away with that disgusting attitude but she is more like a 2 or 3. No chance she finds a guy with the combo of her attitude and looks.

See, I think Aparna is actually very beautiful and, perhaps just as important, dresses well. Nice house (yeah, I know it was smaller than all the others, but I liked her taste in decor), good job, well-traveled.

So I'd have said she was a 7-8, and would rank higher if she had a better attitude. I did find that when she softened in the later episodes, like the yoga with goats, and when she was kindly asking Sima about how she was doing in India, she was much more attractive.

Off-topic, but I thought Preeti was lovely as well. And Manisha, the first girl Vyasar dated. I liked Rashi, the second girl he dated, but desperately wanted to give her a haircut or at least some layers.

[LaLaLaLa]

I don't think this has been posted yet...so, in Aparna's defense (since I came down hard on her)...

https://www.filmcompanion.in/streaming/netflix/indian-matchmaking-netflix-they-wanted-everyone-to-hate-me-aparna-shewakramani-on-life-after/

[Ohmo]

44 minutes ago, LaLaLaLa said:

I don't think this has been posted yet...so, in Aparna's defense (since I came down hard on her)...

https://www.filmcompanion.in/streaming/netflix/indian-matchmaking-netflix-they-wanted-everyone-to-hate-me-aparna-shewakramani-on-life-after/

Everyone should read this article.  I bet it will change opinions about Aparna for the better.

[OoogleEyes]

On 7/24/2020 at 9:00 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

 

I liked Nadia a lot. She seems like a happy type of person, ready to laugh and enjoy herself, looking for the joy in life. My heart broke when she cried. 

When she said "I think I'm on my period!" I just wanted to gather her in my arms and give her a big ol' hug

[Pepper Mostly]

On 8/7/2020 at 12:04 PM, sskrill said:

Let's start with, why does matchmaking even still exist?  I would think the internet would have made this obsolete.

Well, not for nothing but there are probably dozens of Indian matchmaking websites. Lots of people take matters into their own hands, or their parents do. 

Why do employment agencies exist, when there's Indeed.com and Monster and all the other job search websites? Personal touch, someone to do all the research and leg work for you, knowledge of the market. 

I caught a good one on Prime the other day, called "The Marriage Race", follows two Indian-Australians, one man and one woman, as they explore the various resources available in their search for a mate. I enjoyed it a lot. 

[awaken]

I watched all of the episodes, too quickly, and now I’m sad that it’s over! I didn’t feel any sense of resolution – just seemed to end with a lot up in the air! I hope it’s true that the next season will be coming soon.

 

[auntiemel]

7 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Why do employment agencies exist, when there's Indeed.com and Monster and all the other job search websites? Personal touch, someone to do all the research and leg work for you, knowledge of the market.

Great analogy!

[charmed1]

Hi guys. I just found this show. I knew the matchmaker looked familiar. She was featured in a documentary named, “A Suitable Girl.” Her daughter Ritu was in her early 20s and really enjoying her career in finance. I think she’d just gotten her MBA or something. Sima was a super extroverted socialite and her daughters, especially Ritu, were the opposite. Sima was very embarrassed that she was this famous matchmaker and her old maid of a daughter was unmarried. She would have super dramatic crying fits over it. Ritu eventually got married to some guy she didn’t really seem all that into and the wedding was super beautiful.

It’s a really good documentary. I encourage you to watch. It doesn’t feature only Sima and Ritu. It follows two other women of different caste and economic status, including a very sweet teacher who tries online dating.

Edited August 20, 2020 by charmed1

[Ohmo]

On 8/20/2020 at 5:11 PM, charmed1 said:

Hi guys. I just found this show. I knew the matchmaker looked familiar. She was featured in a documentary named, “A Suitable Girl.”

I just watched "A Suitable Girl," and I don't believe it was the same matchmaker.  The matchmaker in "A Suitable Girl" spelled her name Seema.  I believe the matchmaker in Indian Matchmaking spelled her name Sima.  Different spellings of the same name, so unless the documentary or Netflix goofed up on the spelling, I don't think it's the same matchmaker.

I read an article where the author (who was Indian) asked people who were not Indian to tread carefully if they criticized the practice because there is much that an outsider doesn't understand or is not in a position to culturally appreciate.  I'm not Indian, so I know there's a lot I won't understand.  I was struck, though, at the level of sadness in "A Suitable Girl." The women (and some of the men) viewed it as an inevitability, not a joyous event.  Parents were stressed out about finding matches for their daughters and then were saddened by the thought that they would lose their daughters once they married.  It was difficult to watch a cultural tradition with so much sadness attached to it.

Edited August 22, 2020 by Ohmo

[Kiss my mutt]

I can’t say my opinion changed that much after reading the article. 

[Pepper Mostly]

On 8/20/2020 at 5:11 PM, charmed1 said:

Hi guys. I just found this show. I knew the matchmaker looked familiar. She was featured in a documentary named, “A Suitable Girl.” Her daughter Ritu was in her early 20s and really enjoying her career in finance. I think she’d just gotten her MBA or something. Sima was a super extroverted socialite and her daughters, especially Ritu, were the opposite. Sima was very embarrassed that she was this famous matchmaker and her old maid of a daughter was unmarried. She would have super dramatic crying fits over it. Ritu eventually got married to some guy she didn’t really seem all that into and the wedding was super beautiful.

It’s a really good documentary. I encourage you to watch. It doesn’t feature only Sima and Ritu. It follows two other women of different caste and economic status, including a very sweet teacher who tries online dating.

I watched "A Suitable Girl" and I enjoyed it a lot. I loved Dipti, she was so sweet. 

Spoiler

I was so happy for Dipti at the end, her husband seemed like a lovely guy. I was so sorry for the woman who ended up living in her husband's village. Even though they'd assured her that she'd be able to work in the family business and use her education, she was soon doing all the cooking and cleaning, taking care of the in laws, and having to give up her modern clothes for traditional saris. She put on a brave face but it must have been very hard. 

 

[atomic]

So there ended up being one success story from the show...except Sima Auntie had nothing to do with it.😁

Rupam, the sweet divorced single mom, got engaged to the man that she met on Bumble! 

[Lovecat]

18 hours ago, atomic said:

So there ended up being one success story from the show...except Sima Auntie had nothing to do with it.😁

Rupam, the sweet divorced single mom, got engaged to the man that she met on Bumble! 

How wonderful!  I'm not a face reader by profession 😉 but he looks very kind.  I wish them a lifetime of happiness.

[Neurochick]

On 8/22/2020 at 6:48 PM, Ohmo said:

I just watched "A Suitable Girl," and I don't believe it was the same matchmaker.  The matchmaker in "A Suitable Girl" spelled her name Seema.  I believe the matchmaker in Indian Matchmaking spelled her name Sima.  Different spellings of the same name, so unless the documentary or Netflix goofed up on the spelling, I don't think it's the same matchmaker.

I believe it was the same matchmaker.  Either Netflix or Amazon messed up the name.

[Scarlett45]

@Ohmo , Seema was definitely featured in A Suitable Girl, I’m looking right at her and unless she has an identical twin with her exact same voice and mannerisms, sitting in her dining room, that’s her. I can understand her thoughts that people will wonder about her skills since her daughter remains unmatched. Not that I think that means her daughter has an obligation to get married for Seema’s business, just that it’s a logical thought. 

On 8/23/2020 at 2:43 PM, atomic said:

So there ended up being one success story from the show...except Sima Auntie had nothing to do with it.😁

Rupam, the sweet divorced single mom, got engaged to the man that she met on Bumble! 

I’m glad for her. She seemed like a nice woman. I’ve been on bumble, and I know a few people that met partners on there. 
 

Im watching one of the interviews on A Suitable Girl, and when they said they didn’t want her to leave the house or have many friends outside of the building, that pinged me. Run girl run. 

[Scarlett45]

On 8/23/2020 at 8:12 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

I watched "A Suitable Girl" and I enjoyed it a lot. I loved Dipti, she was so sweet. 

  Hide contents

I was so happy for Dipti at the end, her husband seemed like a lovely guy. I was so sorry for the woman who ended up living in her husband's village. Even though they'd assured her that she'd be able to work in the family business and use her education, she was soon doing all the cooking and cleaning, taking care of the in laws, and having to give up her modern clothes for traditional saris. She put on a brave face but it must have been very hard. 

 

Spoiler

I think Dipti made a good match, and I can understand how terribly she misses her parents. Since her husband is building her a house maybe they will join them.