S01.E04: We'll Get There

[FormerMod-a1]

Days after a trying series of events at Gitmo, Chandler and his crew are put under extreme duress when the ship's propulsion system suffers a catastrophic event. With Dr. Scott in danger of losing all her research on the virus and a crew overworked, overtired and desperately low on drinking water, Chandler’s leadership and ingenuity are put to the test.

[xaxat]

That really sounds like premise of 33/Water from the first episodes of Battlestar Galactica. 

[ottoDbusdriver]

That really sounds like premise of 33/Water from the first episodes of Battlestar Galactica.

If this show was as good as BSG, as the ship approached the island under sail power, and as everyone was celebrating on deck, the Russian cruiser would have slowly appeared from the far side of the island.  As the XO looked through his binoculars and started to say "What ..... the .... fuck" -- cut to black.

 

Remember they were broadcasting in the clear for assistance -- anyone listening would have known they were in trouble.

 

ETA:  Oh yeah, has the US Navy ever heard of multiple-redundant independent systems to eliminate single point of failures ?  Why, oh why, couldn't they have blown that last fuse that the captain handily installed in the pilot ?  End of series right there as the drift off into the sunset. </snark>

 

Where was all the fresh water coming from on the island -- I get that they were on an island with a beach, that gets a lot of rainfall per year but since it wasn't raining would it have killed them to show a stream or a waterfall.  Instead of having a beach party they should have shown them treating hundreds of gallons of fresh water to make it drinkable, and hauling even more of it back to the ship.  But no, no, no, time for a beach party with the over-aggressive CIA contractor from Gitmo horning in on anything that moves, 'cause in his view it's the end of the world, time to start tapping some ass before its all gone or he's dead.  That dude bugs me, and he'll probably turn out to be another mole or something.

Edited July 14, 2014 by ottoDbusdriver

[tallykat]

Is Costa Rica a desert now—there's no water there? And how is Costa Rica more than 7 days away from Gitmo? I just couldn't buy in to a ship in the Carribean unable to find a port with water. I could not have cared less for the false drama! Of course the virus would be spared. Of course they would find water in time. Ugh! I'm out!

[ottoDbusdriver]

Is Costa Rica a desert now—there's no water there? And how is Costa Rica more than 7 days away from Gitmo?

 

Cruise ships in the Caribbean take their sweet time going from port to port (compared to a naval vessel) and they take 2 days max to go from Miami to Cancun/Cozumel (and that's only if they stop somewhere in between) ?  Did somebody on the Nathan James leave the parking brake on ?

Edited July 14, 2014 by ottoDbusdriver

[Frost]

The Gitmo guard is bad news, and not just because he's a horndog.  He seemed awfully interested in knowing where the lab is.  I figure either he'll be about to rape the female LT and her erstwhile boyfriend will save her.  Or he's going to try and steal the cure, for some other idiotic power trip reason.  Or maybe both.

 

BSG did the water shortage episode better, but for a cheesy summertime show, this one did OK.

[Watcher0363]

You have pots and pans you have heat sources. Okay people fill the pots with salt water, heat the water till it starts to evaporate. Catch the evaporating water it will not be salty. Condense it back down or (distill it) if you like. Didn't anyone take a 8th grade science class.

Heat sources:

 

The over heating engines.

Solar cooker made with aluminum foil.

Improvised liquid bunsen burners with the engine fuel.

[lawless]

This Show -- if it weren't summer, there is no way I would be watching this.  Each week I give it a chance, but it is such B-rated fare.  Ok, I guess the issue for them was that they needed to find an uninhabited island for fresh water because they were afraid inhabited places would be contaminated.  I guess.  But I was also thinking that yeah, if they have the cookware to feed the crew, and their can jerryrig sails out of parachutes, they should be able to figure out a way to boil seawater and collect the evaporated steam, which, if I understood this correctly in seventh grade science, would condense into distilled, fresh, drinkable water.  Am I wrong?  It seemed like they were engaging in such a process with the beer -- is there a reason they could not have done the same with seawater?

 

The smaltzy dialogue -- sigh.  The Show never elicits real feelings from me for the characters.  Battlestar Galactica often did.  That Show wasn't perfect, and it had its clunker episodes and plotlines, but it was infinitely better than this one.  Sorry, but it's true.  All of the emotional moments for the characters feel contrived and hollow.  I keep hoping it will get better, but the writing is pretty weak.  Eric Dane is handsome, and I've come this far and want to see the Show's resolution, but overall, pretty disappointing.

[Dowel Jones]

 

The over heating engines.

Solar cooker made with aluminum foil.

Improvised liquid bunsen burners with the engine fuel.

And maybe, just maybe, the cooking gas from the galley.

 

I guess that Russian ship went on its way to threaten some other, more vulnerable opponent, because calling out on the hailing frequency, with your location no less, was probably not the best tactical move in the playbook.

 

I hate to burst the continuity bubble (well, not really), but weren't the parachutes taken from the missile recovery systems?  In that case, they would have been round, as a parafoil serves no purpose unless you have a means to remotely guide it back home by pulling on the steering lines. Those systems do exist, but they are large and unwieldy.  A parafoil also not develop near the "pull power" of a round and would be rather uncontrollable in the downplane configuration (speaking from skydiving experience, never mind how).  To tell the truth, when the Captain said he had an idea, I was hoping for the crew to be lined up on the propeller shaft with some Rube Goldberg mechanism for rotating it.  Ramming Speed!

 

CIA contractor seems to be channeling his inner Pope.  This will not end well.

 

Producers?   They already did a movie about Noah.  Get over it.

[90PercentGravity]

You have pots and pans you have heat sources. Okay people fill the pots with salt water, heat the water till it starts to evaporate. Catch the evaporating water it will not be salty. Condense it back down or (distill it) if you like. Didn't anyone take a 8th grade science class.

Heat sources:

 

The over heating engines.

Solar cooker made with aluminum foil.

Improvised liquid bunsen burners with the engine fuel.

This was driving me crazy. They were distilling the water out of beer, but they couldn't figure out how to do it with salt water? They had solar stills all over the deck.  Also, Coors doesn't really need any special treatment to be turned into bad tasting water.

[ZoloftBlob]

Also, Coors doesn't really need any special treatment to be turned into bad tasting water.

 

And really, it was Coors light so is it even alcohol?

 

And since when do Navy ships have beer?

 

And wasn't the black chief petty officer's  whole thing about killing his wife and daughters in a car wreck just incredibly random?

 

I had Lesbian Dualla named from the pilot, and now we have her buddy, White Balding Gaeta. I am so hoping that XO Baldwin's bitchy hateful wife shows up and is played by Kate Vernon.

[ottoDbusdriver]

Did you notice how the case containing 3 types of virus was attached by a very thin wire to the main rope -- and they basically dropped it all the way to the bottom.  What if it had snagged on the bottom due to the ship moving with the currents and that thin wire had snapped ?  Did no one else think of that ?  End of the cure right there, and the show is over.

[Brian Cronin]

The show's cheezy, of course, but man, I loved "You the asshole I'm supposed to play chess with?" Very cool moment.

[bluebonnet]

I'm glad the writer's are being equal opportunity with the stupid.  I feared the villainous Russians would be the only stupid on the show (yawn) but even the good ole boys are dumb as rocks!  It was pretty hard to get invested in the problem of the week when no one spoke at all about distilling and desalinating.  I felt really embarrassed for the show.  I'm a third grade teacher and this process is actually included in my lesson plans every year.  Of course, it's very small scale but ffs, my third grade students would be able to offer it up as a stop gap solution!  

[Collinwood]

RIP Adam Baldwin's hair. 

[Lonesome Rhodes]

I was moved with the flashback before credits.  The matter-of-fact approach of the wife, and then the little girl rang 100% true with Navy families I have known who faced long deployments of a loved one.  Kudos to TPTB.

 

While I appreciated the "old is new again" of a modern ship making way under sail, that was absurd.

 

The worst moment was Chandler's public utterance of doubt.  That guy well understands the power of leadership - the whole thing would be over by now except for the excellent guidance he and his Chief have displayed.  A guy like that, if he is to go down, goes down proud.  Turrible writing.  

[thuganomics85]

Yeah, it seemed pretty obvious that the crew really did not pay much attention in their science classes, but there were several others ways they could have attempted to get drinkable water, but it didn't look like they even tried.  But, I guess it's good to know that ship had a shit-ton of beer on hand.

 

I definitely think something is up with John Pyper-Ferguson's character; especially his sudden interest with Scott/Rhona Mirta.  It just seemed kind of shady to me, and like it is going to play a bigger part in future episodes.

 

Ha, was I really suppose to feel bad for the lunkhead lieutenant, when his love interest was potentially flirting with someone else? Sorry, dude, this is your own damn fault.

 

The Master Chief's back-story monologue was just random as hell, even though the actor did his best with it.

 

So, traitor scientist is back working with Scott.  Because, where Eric Dane and Rhona Mirta fail, Adam Baldwin succeeds, by chomping on a cigar, snarking, casually threatening, and even tossing him a few favors.  In other words, Classic Adam Baldwin!

[xaxat]

Normally I'm not a nitpicker, but. . . How did they survive four months in the Arctic without resupply, yet can't get from Gitmo to Costa Rica without running out of water? What's the tensile strength of parachute cord capable of pulling a nine thousand ton ship? Why didn't the Nathan James get a reverse osmosis desalinization system like the other ships in its class?

[shapeshifter]

Normally I'm not a nitpicker, but. . . How did they survive four months in the Arctic without resupply, yet can't get from Gitmo to Costa Rica without running out of water?

Melt snow and ice?

Technical silliness aside, I prefered this episode because I'm not watching for the explosions and fight scenes. I thought this episode was about character development, and they managed to do it without too much soap opera.

Plus, I loved the singing at the end.

And, as cheesey as the chaplain's pep talk was, it was refreshing to have something positive after watching The Leftovers.

If this show was as good as BSG, as the ship approached the island under sail power, and as everyone was celebrating on deck, the Russian cruiser would have slowly appeared from the far side of the island.  As the XO looked through his binoculars and started to say "What ..... the .... fuck" -- cut to black.

Dear otto, I am so glad they didn't go there. And I'm sure it will happen soon enough.

 

Where was all the fresh water coming from on the island -- I get that they were on an island with a beach, that gets a lot of rainfall per year but since it wasn't raining would it have killed them to show a stream or a waterfall.

I thought they did show ginormous waterfalls visible with the binoculars from the top of the island to the shore. See, to me, that was the moment I groaned. But I could've swallowed it (pun not quite intended) if the beach scene had shown the Niagra sized waterfall too.

The other problem I had--because my parents live on an island in the tropics--is that it should have rained at least once during those 6 days, if not every day.

[ZoloftBlob]

Why didn't the Nathan James get a reverse osmosis desalinization system like the other ships in its class?

 

I will throw them a bone here. It was rapid quick, but the engineer did mention that they hadn't been "making water" in Cuba because they were worried about contamination and the making water process was shut down with all the generators going off line. So I assume that is referencing the reverse osmosis desalinization system.

[DrLar]

It seems there's more women on the ship that I thought, This contractor guy is so happy, and creepy, maybe he wants to known where the lab is so he can destroy the vaccine and "end the world" so he can bang girls non-stop to repopulate Earth... (yeah he's that kind of crazy guy it seems)

[Latverian Diplomat]

So, they cast a female chief engineer, but in the episode that actually focuses on an engineering crisis, she's conveniently sidelined and reduced to the role of cheerleader. Even if she's not fit to crawl around in the engineering compartment, her brain is fine. She should have been sitting in on the brainstorming sessions. That "you can handle it" stuff was such bullshit. 

 

It's always convenient to pray for exactly the weather that's in the forecast. Given that God is working through the virus to kill most of humanity, you'd think there would be less enthusiasm for religious services. 

 

Lastly, wouldn't there be rain nearby an island that gets 100 inches a year?  Why didn't the ship get some of that sweet, sweet rain? I don't think the Caribbean has a dry season, but if it does  how could there be a large amount of fresh water left on such a small island, no matter how much rain it got at other times of the year.

Edited July 14, 2014 by Latverian Diplomat

[DrLar]

Yeah that island they landed on must have a big pond of fresh water just passed that beach... I didn't see a single tree but they were bringing coconuts, pineapples, etc.. it seem way smaller than thought, if it was like the Lost island maybe..

[SonofaBiscuit]

Yeah, John Pyper-Ferguson's character does seem to be going after any woman in his sights.  I thought it was funny how he saw Danny and the girlfriend looking at each other for like three seconds and then immediately figured out that they had a thing.  Nobody else on the ship figured it out over months and months but that guy is so intuitive he knows after one glance and a comment about no fraternizing in the Navy? 

 

I also thought it was funny how CO Eric Dane was praising the engineer for coming up with the idea to put the virus samples in the ocean, like he was a genius for figuring that one out.  I'm not an engineer, but even I managed to think of that before they did! 

 

At the end, I thought that it was pretty dumb when people were pouring the fresh water over their heads.  Let's not be wasteful, here.  If you want to take a bath, go jump in the ocean.  Save the fresh water for drinking, please.  Also thought it was dumb that Danny looked jealous of his girlfriend.  She wasn't doing anything except taking a glass of water from that guy and talking to him.  How dare she?!

[shapeshifter]

At the end, I thought that it was pretty dumb when people were pouring the fresh water over their heads.  Let's not be wasteful, here.  If you want to take a bath, go jump in the ocean.  Save the fresh water for drinking, please. 

Possible fanwank: They're syphoning the clean water from the pool where the waterfall dumps (although we only see the waterfalls via binoculars) and don't want to contaminate the pool by having them jump in it. This would mean, at least, that nobody is hauling the water by buckets for people to pour on their heads.

But still, those cups have to be filled by someone. Weird direction choice. There were several waterfalls. Depending upon the size of the island, they could have designated one for bathing and one for drinking. Sigh. Now I know how all you military engineers have been feeling about improbable things we've seen.

About swimming in the ocean: it is cooling and refreshing, but the salt doesn't leave one feeling clean.

[bluebonnet]

I suppose budget limitations prevented them from doing real water scenes, but I was still actually surprised that more people weren't pouring water over themselves or jumping into the magical water sources.  They were severely dehydrated and I'm sure many of them were suffering from heat related problems.  I bet their skin was (or at least should be if not on TV) really really dry and their body temps really high.  They need something to help with that.  

 

Also, did I miss it or were they not using IV bags for the ones who were really ill?  I would have thought they had plenty of medical supplies and could have been hydrating people via IV fluids.  Or at least offering some to those in ultra high value jobs.  The engineering apprentice and his crew definitely should have been kept as hydrated as possible considering they were in charge of getting the ship back to working.  

[90PercentGravity]

The scene where they were lowering the case to the bottom of the ocean, it seemed like the doctor and engineer guy were shivering and doing the "it's too cold" dance, which kept taking me out of the scene.

[Watcher0363]

Now that I have really thought about, the water shortage was to stupid for me to continue watching this show. There was 1 doctor and two scientist on this ship. A seal team and a few command officers, who should have had advanced survival training. The doctor and scientist should have had been trained in distilling water techniques. If for no other reason than disease prevention protocols in isolated areas. I am tierd of such really bad writing on shows, especially shows where we are suppose to believe we are dealing at least exceptional personnel if not superior people. So just like that dreck that follows the Last Ship I am checking out of this for good.

[bmoore4026]

Kind of a ho-hum episode.  Too much jargon I didn't understand and I swear might be made up kind of took me out of it.  That and the lack of charismatic characters.

 

Also, I'd like this show more if Eric Dane and Adam Baldwin didn't look so damn alike!

[Raja]

Now that I have really thought about, the water shortage was to stupid for me to continue watching this show. There was 1 doctor and two scientist on this ship. A seal team and a few command officers, who should have had advanced survival training. The doctor and scientist should have had been trained in distilling water techniques. 

It has not gone that far to me but it has fallen to second in its time slot for live viewing to Musketeers after the escape from Gitmo so I haven't seen the episode. Add to your list of survival training the air crew members.

 

Has it been said for certain that the Naval Mountain Warfare team are actually SEALS, or are they just sailors who were trained for land combat? I haven't watched close enough to see any unique SEAL insignia beyond the combat uniform. And for a secret weapons test for months overall cover mission doesn't seem to be the sort of thing an actual SEAL would be assigned to and tied up in unavailable for a "real mission"

[90PercentGravity]

Is the British guy the red-headed kid from Harry Potter? Or related to him?

[shapeshifter]

I started watching this show in hopes of Adam Baldwin snark, and this episode we finally got some (the cigar scene), so I'll stick it out a little longer. Plus John Piper Ferguson.

[Puffaroo]

Did you notice how the case containing 3 types of virus was attached by a very thin wire to the main rope -- and they basically dropped it all the way to the bottom.  What if it had snagged on the bottom due to the ship moving with the currents and that thin wire had snapped ?  Did no one else think of that ?  End of the cure right there, and the show is over.

 

I thought for sure the case was going to become unattached and they'd have to figure out a way to get it back.

 

And MAN, did this episode have Michael Bay all over it!

[Tabasco Cat]

The praying thing rubbed me the wrong way. At that point you're praying to the same God that just saw fit to wipe out the vast majority of the Earth's population with a killer virus for whatever reason. Whatever.

 

I also wondered about the strength of the parachute lines and their ability to pull a sizable navy ship. Not as ridiculous as achieving stealthy radar invisibility by turning your own radar off, like they showed last week. Now that was really dumb writing. Who knew it was so easy to do stealth? We wasted hundreds of billions of dollars on stealth tech if it worked that way. Cue the, "That's not how it works. That's not how any of this works!" lady from the car insurance commercial.

 

And last but not least, when Quincy was threatening to pop the lid off the virus sample container they should have just taken him out right then and there. That vial was clearly made out of plastic and wouldn't have shattered when it hit the floor.

 

A decent summer fun show, but it doesn't come anywhere close to holding a candle to BSG. Not even close.

[ZoloftBlob]

A decent summer fun show, but it doesn't come anywhere close to holding a candle to BSG.

 

Honestly the BSG allusions are what keep me entertained. :)

 

We really need Captain Chandler to start the "So say we all" chant at one of the prayer meetings.

[xaxat]

This week the premise was similar to BSG's early episode Water. Based on the promos, it looks like next week it will be similar to one of the early episodes of The Last Resort.

[Tippi Blevins]

I thought it looked like they were trying to evaporate some clean water out of seawater. There was some kind of shallow... kiddie pool... thingie with a tarp over it, on the deck, with a hose dripping into a bucket. It was when that bucket tumped over that Eric Dane realized the wind was blowing again. (I still don't know any of these people's names aside from Dr. Scott.) Even still, that would be a piddling effort at best. They could have been giving each other Bear Grylls-style ocean enemas, or something.

[bluebonnet]

I think that was just their beer distillery thingie.  Beer into water.  

[Irishmaple]

The basketball game at the beginning of the episode kind of bothered me.  I get that people are resilient and these are military people with a greater acceptance of loss, yet these are also people who have lost pretty much every person in their lives, the nation they volunteered to serve has collapsed and within the very recent past they've lost several shipmates.  I don't want to see the cast draped in black and resigned to their lot, but a carefree game of hoops seemed inappropriate.  I would have liked it better had it clearly been a morale-raiser and some people were there to forget their pain, but it seemed like a regular event ("that was our last ball") and business as usual.

 

Danny's block-headed breakup went as well as I expected, and I enjoyed his realization that his ex was actually listening to him.  I worried for a while she might focus more on the "I love you" and try to persuade him that being together was better than being apart.  I liked that she brushed him off and went on with her day.  It's clearly not over but I'm finding their relationship an enjoyable part of the show.  I liked Chandler's family too, and I remember his wife from an episode of Alias, in which her husband was played by Christian Slater.  She has good taste in TV husbands!

 

Rhona Mitra made me care about the fate of her virus, so I give her kudos.  She, Eric Dane and Adam Baldwin are really carrying the weight of the emotional depth on this show.  Looking at them, I believe things are bad.  The actor playing Chung sold the desperation well too.  I hope the Chief Engineer was supposed to be on some really good drugs because there's no other excuse for her dismissive 'you'll be fine' reaction to the crisis.  She should have been brain-storming with everyone else.

[Rambler]

This episode seemed very boring to me. It needs some action scenes to distract from the glaring plot holes. If this show has another season maybe they could hire a couple of 24 writers to show them how its done.

 

The Gitmo guard is bad news, and not just because he's a horndog.  He seemed awfully interested in knowing where the lab is.  I figure either he'll be about to rape the female LT and her erstwhile boyfriend will save her.  Or he's going to try and steal the cure, for some other idiotic power trip reason.  Or maybe both.

 

BSG did the water shortage episode better, but for a cheesy summertime show, this one did OK.

 

What I have learned from watching too many episodes of NCIS is that if someone is identified as a civilian contractor, there is a 99% chance that he is a bad guy. In that same vein, if a CEO of a major arms manufacturer shows up there is a 75% chance that he is a bad guy (lower percentage because an underling could possibly be the bad guy), unless we also meet the corporate vice president who is married to the CEO's daughter, in which case there is a 100% certainty that the son in law is the bad guy.
 

[iMonrey]

 

RIP Adam Baldwin's hair.

 

Yes I've been noticing that too. Makes me wonder if he was wearing a rug on Chuck. That wasn't very long ago.

 

 

I thought they did show ginormous waterfalls visible with the binoculars from the top of the island to the shore.

 

Oh, it that what those were? Terrible CGI.

[ottoDbusdriver]

Oh, it that what those were? Terrible CGI.

 

There were two white vertical lines on the island, as seen through Captain Chandler's binoculars and from the deck, that they may have thought were waterfalls -- but those white lines appeared to start from the top of a hill (or the top of the tree canopy) and that's just not how waterfalls are formed.

 

Agreed, it was terrible CGI.

[MDKNIGHT]

I think Traitor guy is going to use his contact with the cook/chess player to try to escape/hurt the good guys.  I'm glad the scientist pointed out he's not the only one who has had loss because his entitled bitchy self was really working my last nerve.  His attitude of "well if I can't have what I want I'm not helping SAVE THE POPULATION OF EARTH, so there!"  made me want Baldwin to torture him.  I rolled my eyes when he whined he wasn't going to get to go to the beach.  Yeah like your so trustworthy. 

 

I can only assume that the Russians were too damaged to catch up with the good guys YET.  Because they missed the opportunity of extorting the virus and the scientist from them in exchange for water.  I do expect them back soon although if they didn't hear the distress call they wouldn't know where these people are. 

 

Are there really islands of a decent size with NO population left?  I mean I would think all habitable islands belong to somebody by now, even if it is only a billionaire and his staff.   I did say habitable because a tiny sand bar with one palm tree wouldn't do anybody any good.  Certainly where I'd want to go in a zombie apocalypse but I just can't really picture it.  That is, an island with fresh water that I could just sail to and feed myself through fishing that did not belong to anybody and not defended by anybody.  I would think survivors of any big catastrophy  would head there.   

 

I would hope the navy has desalination kits for emergencies and if you could process beer you can process salt water so they didn't even need a little kit.  Also somebody upthread is right that if you can rig more intricate stuff a stil for distilling pure water would be a walk in the park.  They should have also been able to collect rain water in tarps.  They aren't in a dessert.

[izabella]

I can only assume that the Russians were too damaged to catch up with the good guys YET.  Because they missed the opportunity of extorting the virus and the scientist from them in exchange for water.  I do expect them back soon although if they didn't hear the distress call they wouldn't know where these people are.

 

They'll be back!  We have to see what creepy Bubble Boy is about. 

 

If they really do need something he has in order to make an effective vaccine, the two ships will have to meet up, maybe after Dr. Scott tries out her prototype and it fails a few times.  She'll start thinking maybe the Russian captain was telling the truth, and she'll make our navy try to find the Russians.

[Jordan27]

The praying thing rubbed me the wrong way. At that point you're praying to the same God that just saw fit to wipe out the vast majority of the Earth's population with a killer virus for whatever reason. Whatever.

 

No evidence to suggest God did this. 

 

And evidently you haven't been paying attention to the entire history of the Earth.   Because tragedies happen all the time and plenty of people don't lose their faith.

A strange coincidence.

I had recorded an episode of Breaking Bad which I watched during the commercial  of TLS.  The episode was the one where Walt and Jesse get stranded in the desert and have no water.

 

 

[Danny Franks]

Oh boy, this show is so dumb. It's like an amalgam of BSG and Stargate: Universe, but with any charm and sympathetic characters removed.

 

I just can't help but laugh at the earnestness of it all, and the po-faced, humourless writing. Seeing Baldwin and Dane acting as though they were dying of thirst felt like a sketch show skit. But I'm glad to see that they were clearly not so weak that they allowed their jaws to unclench for even a moment. That's some commitment to the cause! And thank heavens for the CGI-gulls, coming to the rescue, just in time!

 

The sleazy beardy guy feels like even more of a stereotype than the square-jawed American heroes. A loose cannon who may or may not be trustworthy, and is rubbing people up the wrong way with his completely non-military attitude?

 

Poor Lt Square-Jaw, sabotaging his own happiness because he's just so dutiful and stand-up. He can't be with whatshername (seriously, I cannot remember that girl's name being said) because her womanly ways might make him weak and unable to be the proper soldier he needs to be. But he can damned well get his bitchface on if she looks like she might move on to someone else. But, of course, he'll be noble about it and angst in silence for most of the season.

 

I've known for a long time, but this show is just reinforcing it for me, but I really hate the way Michael Bay's brain is wired. I feel a little dirty whenever I watch something that his mucky hands have been involved in. Fortunately, this show has enough unintentional laughs that I can keep going, for now.

 

But I'm officially rooting for the Russians. I bet their beach parties are way more interesting.