Bruinsfan

Taken 5: Honey, Have You Seen the Dog?

If I hear someone strafing the neighborhood with assualt rifle fire I'm going to be calling the authorities while laying in my bathtub, and not peek my head out until I hear someone with a bullhorn say it's clear.

I don't think the blame for that can be laid upon the filmmakers. I used to reread The Hobbit all the time, yet when I try to make a mental list of the dwarves it ends up going Thorin, Balin and Dwalin, Fili and Kili, Bifur and Bombur, Oin and Gloin, Comet and Cupid, Donner and Blitzen.

Seriously, I've thought there was something going on between the two since I first saw the news story about DuPont years ago.

Fox has always had a schizophrenic approach to television - the studio that actually produces the content goes for quirky high-concept series and creators with fresh new ideas, but the people on the airing end don't know how to market or program such content and get trigger happy on changing timeslots and pulling the plug before an audience can find a show. I actually think it's a minor miracle shows like Glee and Raising Hope got multiple seasons.

Back when there was speculation about the theoretical NYC spinoff I pointed out that a lot of comedy could be milked from the living situation in New York if they had Rachel, Kurt, etc. living in some rat trap Manhattan apartment that was only affordable because of horrible maintenance and neighbor issues. They could be suffering through sauna-like heat with Rachel telling Kurt that he should be able to fix it since he'd worked as a mechanic and Kurt replying that unless they were in the one building with a fuel-injection radiator system she was out of luck. Another storyline I really wish they'd played out rather than shutting it down in the first episode was Blaine's proposed bisexuality from "Blame It on the Alcohol." I don't think having him be bi rather than gay would have changed anything with regard to Kurt's storylines, and it would have been nice to have that extra bit of diversity.

Wait, he thinks getting something like Pushing Daisies is a bad thing? That's the tone I'm hoping it achieves!

Unless Maneet is the judge. Then it's "I feel the dish could have been more flavorful." [squirts pepper spray into mouth like Binaca]

If they pull it from the schedule before it's done, I will start a riot. It looks like it will be either fantastic or gloriously awful, and either would be entertaining.

We are NEVER going to be able to live it down to future generations if diplomatic relations with another country break down entirely over two stoner "comedians" doing a crappy movie satire.

Wait, it was that long ago? I thought 2009 seemed a little recent but had no idea it had been a decade and a half.

Nothing against BRIAN BLESSED, I consider drowning Peri out to be one of his many virtues!

Oh GCB, how I mourn your passing! At least the show gave us this gem before it was cancelled.

I just googled pictures and am shocked to see that she basically looks exactly the same as I remember from the 1980s. Are we sure she went the plastic surgery route rather than black magic?

I'm not so sure how effective that is. In my state the BAC limit is .08%, but by that point I would be past buzzed, more like falling down drunk.

Bwah! Reminds me of this comic!

Do these people have eyes? Daryl's hair this season reminds me of this.

Oh yeah. I wanted Toni Collette to grab a log out of one of those beach bonfires and set him alight.

Crap, forget Drag Me to Hell and My Bloody Valentine, that scene was the scariest thing to hit theaters in 2009!

I know it wasn't the world's most appetizing rotisserie chicken, but I immediately thought "that's healthier and you get more for your money!"

I know when the FBI needed to speak to me at work there was no problem stopping everything and letting me use my boss' office for a private conversation. And that was for a routine background check, not a homicide investigation! Unless you're a surgeon elbow-deep in a patient, you can spare a few minutes of undivided attention for the people who could send you up the river for 20 to life!

At least Peri got pawned off on Brian Blessed, and I'm sure no one ever had to hear her voice again while she was around him.

These would be my choices as well. Forever Knight irked me because its next-to-last episode was a great story that would have made a great series finale, but they had to drag it out another episode to make a clean sweep of all the remaining characters in the most depressing manner possible.

Doesn't dog food have insufficiently-ground bone meal that could perforate a person's GI tract if eaten? I think Rick's instincts were on the money.

I remember being taught in school that Arkansas was the one state that could easily become self-sufficient with its diversity of natural resources - it wouldn't be as dependent on trade, out-of-state water, etc. Of course I can only assume from the map that the entire state was invaded by refugees from Missouri who renamed the capital after driving Arkansans into the hills.