JocelynCavanaugh

She will almost certainly appropriate a religion or culture she read about on Woo-pedia. (Don’t look that up. Not a real site.) I could see her going with like a Bodhi or Siddhartha or Wounded Knee or some other “woke” shit that sets race relations back 60 years. ”Syngin” is apparently a real name, based on a form of “Saint John,” so she may feel like she has to cancel out that icky Christian vibe with something like Damian or Mephistopheles. “Satanica” is cute for a girl. I would personally donate to their college fund if they gave their children names like Rebecca and James.

Tania constantly telling us how edgy she is, is about as useful as Mike Sequim constantly telling us how tall he is — but at least he’s not wrong! Tania and Syngin’s wedding was depressing garbage. W H Y IS HE WITH HER? He could get a nice woman who enjoys life and treats him like a real person. His surfer-pirate gestures before the Holy Tattoo Ceremony were hilarious. Totally reminded me of all the good-hearted space cadets I’ve known who pathologically attached themselves to shrews. Maybe I’m mean but I don’t think Leo is cute. He’s a spoiled little loudmouth who interrupts everyone to say dumb “precocious” shit. That poor middle brother is the only one I can stand in the whole Annaverse. Bryson, however, is super cute, and he seems to be much calmer since Anny has been there. She bugs me to no end, but I’ll give credit where it’s due: she’s a good stepmom. I’m still trying to decide which Bone Thug Robert reminds me of. Leaning toward 80% Wish Bone/15% Layzie Bone/5% Eazy-E. According to the previews for the Tell-All, the plural of “text” is “Texas.”

Yes, I should’ve been more clear that he handled it terribly! I think I can see what was going on with his mind, but it definitely doesn’t excuse him being so rude to everyone else.

Brandon definitely has some issues, but I’m willing to believe it really is an anxiety disorder. In the book The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine Aron talks about how men who are HSPs can have a hard time reconciling their default setting — HSPs are sensitive to external stimuli; it’s not about being emotional — to the cultural expectation of men being tough. This can manifest as aggression, since anxiety and overwhelm are derided as “feminine,” plus the frustration of feeling trapped between those factors probably does make some guys really mad if they don’t have good coping skills. Aron suggests that this is probably a huge, unrecognized issue in incarceration settings, too. Watching 60 Days In made me realize what a stimulus nightmare jail or prison would be. Anyway, I could believe that Brandon acts up because he’s overwhelmed and mad at himself for getting into this situation, and if he’s not on a good therapeutic regimen, alcohol is an understandable substitute for self-soothing. I know I’m alone here, but I don’t think there is a thing wrong with Mindy’s figure. Not everyone wants a fat ass. My husband would be grossed out if I purposely tried to bulk up my petite butt. Nobody is universally attractive. I don’t even think Zach is the most attractive guy this season. He’s short and derpy, and I’m wary of a guy who spends that much time on his physique. There lie the boring conversations and restrictive diets. All of these guys have their flaws, but I think the other four would all be easier to get to know or have some genuine, reciprocal fun with.

Mmm... vocal fries... lunch... Sorry, I’m really hungry right now. But I hate vocal fry, too! (And before anyone starts the “it’s gendered anti feminist rhetoric and you fell for it!” spiel, I’ve hated it since I was a child and I hate it in men, too!!!) I still can’t keep Emily/Sasha and Elizabeth/Andrei straight. Their stories are so similar and I think Emily and Libby could be sisters. There are definitely some tropes this show loves: - offputting Eastern European man/American woman who likes to be miserable (I don’t count Alexei/Loren here — he’s pretty nice) - middle-aged American guy/young Southeast Asian woman (David & Annie, Tarik & whatever her name was, Larry and the pig roast) - dorky white guy/age-appropriate but insane “spicy Latina” [gag me with this phrase] (Russ & Paola, Mormon and Ecuadorian sociopath, Mormon and baby Brazilian [not insane], Colt and the Shrew) - overweight, childish American woman/Muslim man who is out of her league looks-wise (mega fucking list here but I’ll just highlight the OGs Dinyell and Mahamit)(not counting Anna/Mursel here because of Mursel’s face) - black American/Afro-Caribbean whose families seem to have a multigenerational blood feud (The Family Chantel; Asthmatic Anny and Stepmother-in-Law from the Vivid soundstage) - white women and their Caribbean resort souvenirs (Molly & Luis, Melanie & Devar, Ashley & the Jamaican tattooed lover/unacknowledged child molestation victim) - evenly matched couples who seem like they’ll have a good marriage (LOL JK) - general WTF/damn good TV (Mormon wannabe doctor/Russian study abroad wife with the black honeymoon baby; Pole & Kareeny — also dorky/spicy but mostly greasy/felony; Grangela and Mykol; Darcey, full stop)

She's just using us for a Primetimer green card. Betsy was definitely trolling with that dress choice. She and Sarah both went shopping at the Passive-Aggressive Wedding Guest boutique. Motto: "We guarantee you won't look good." Lightweight Cheap Date checking in: a single mimosa in a plastic glass would, indeed, have that effect on me. Maybe Emily is a lightweight since she's been pregnant and nursing for the past year, and her tolerance is somewhere between mine and that big ol' baby of hers'.

Tania likes to think she’s so unconventional and free-spirited and the object of envy for all of us oppressed, traditional women with our “jobs” and “bras that fit properly.” But she’s actually quite rigid and miserable; she’s just chosen a different set of rules. She’s not open or warm or dynamic. She also needs bangs. None of these couples seem like a good match to me. They range from questionable (Mike and Juliana) to “enjoy your 2-4 years of relative happiness before inevitable crash and burn” (Angela and Michael) to DANGER WARNING MISTAKE MISTAKE (Emily and Sasha, Blake and Jasmin, sweet Syngin and his succubus).

I get that -- a lot of these pieces go on major sale (50-70% off by the end of the season; some are 30% off right now) or could be duped elsewhere. It seems like most of the people on this show have some disposable income. I'm not a fancy-fashion person so I can't spot designer clothes, though. On this topic, I wonder what exactly MAFS screens for financially or how deep they dig. We've heard some things about debt and spending, like Danielle (Dallas, but actually Fort Worth -- I'm too Texan to not specify) and her credit cards, but offhand I don't remember whether any couples have had big issues with one spouse's debt after the wedding. It seems like they choose people who have either a decent amount of expendable income, or at least present themselves as such. Statistically, more than one has to have been living on credit cards and loans. If I'm remembering correctly, at least two of the current people (contestants? characters? victims?) are in graduate school, which is usually not the peak of a person's economic journey.

Showering frequency is such a personal thing. There's a wide range of what would be considered hygienic and socially acceptable, and it really depends on one's individual skin type, sweating tendencies, fabric choices, etc. I think a lot of people would be shocked to find out how much or little a given stranger showers. If Mindy were really gross, that's one thing, but even then, it's best to tread lightly when commenting on the grossness of anyone you're not actively trying to burn a bridge with. The travel clothes thing makes me feel like such an old throwback, but I do wish people would try just a tad harder to look decent while flying. It's really not hard to sub a more finished pair of Ponte leggings and a sweater-blazer for the thin leggings and hoodie, some cute flats for flip-flops, and a thin scarf to tie it all together -- and keep warm on the plane without having to use a pseudo-sanitized airline blanket! Honestly, how cute is this outfit? And none of it is uncomfortable, and you can wear a super soft drapey tee under the blazer and no one will know that it feels like pajamas. So, if you see a lady in this exact outfit, wearing pink Beats, speed-walking through an airport with an energy drink in hand, and giving stank looks to the screaming children, go ahead and introduce yourself! I don't bite!

Whoah, harsh! I take headphones anywhere that air travel is involved. I'm not wearing them in a group or at dinner with anyone, but on a plane with babies screaming and people playing loud video games, plus the engine noise and insipid announcements? Absolutely. Yes, even if I married a stranger the day before and am supposed to be getting to know him. Sometimes, as an introvert, you just need to carry your shell on your back or your Beats on your head in case you need a moment alone with Taylor Swift.

I guess we just see her differently. It sometimes feels like our culture has shifted toward obesity so much that thin people are viewed as unhealthy and abnormal, or that they’re fair game for criticism. She looks perfectly healthy to me. There have been a couple of women on this show who looked pretty overweight and unhealthy to me but I doubt I’d get a lot of hearts if I named names.

I’ve watched the last couple of episodes on the DVR on my iPad, which means I manually fast forward the commercials. If you suspected we’re getting a ton of them, you’re right. Commercial breaks are usually four minutes, and show segments are 4-5 minutes. Between all the ads and all the replayed-to-death footage, I’d say maybe 40% of this show time is actual content. You'd think following ten people around all day for eight weeks would produce enough footage to actually make a whole show, but apparently not. Mindy is pretty and has a nice figure. It weirds me out so bad the way thin women on these shows are always accused of having eating disorders. Even if she did, what would be the point of saying it? Not like it would help her. Nobody calls out the regimented orthorexia some people substitute for an identity. But I don’t notice Mindy having any actual “symptoms” of an eating disorder, just a lithe body. Zach reminds me of Harry Connick, Jr., although I don’t want to accuse Harry of being a faker. His wife is tall and thin, BTW.

I definitely mentioned her disgusting blow-up doll mouth about a page ago!

Normally I half-watch while working on the computer. For some reason, I paid a little more attention than usual last night, and boy do I regret it. - Sequim Mike: hard to feel bad for him at the airport when he can hardly grunt out a sentence around all that gum chomping he was putting most of his effort into. He was worse than an NFL offensive coordinator. - Bojangles: I just don't get the love for this guy. Being a yokel caricature is not a life plan. No wonder Mike isn't ready for kids yet; he's already playing Bank of Dad and flipping pancakes every Sunday for the toothless manchild who lives in his outbuildings. - Jasmin: her face is disgusting to me, all swollen and shiny and dead. She eats like Kim Kardashian -- they can both barely close their stiff, plastic blow-up doll mouths around a bite of food, and both look like they can't even taste the food because their noses have been whittled down so far they can't breathe. Between her Jocelyn Wildenstein aspirations and her utter joylessness, Jasmin looks at least 20 years older than her real age. Blake must have a misery fetish. - Max and Cece: that scene where they discussed Juliana and the wedding was 100% scripted. They read their lines well, God bless 'em, but I cannot stand a precocious child spouting platitudes. It's not cute, it's not impressive, it's just grating. I know it's not their fault, but I don't enjoy those scenes at all. They make me nostalgic for that squeaky little asshole on the Care.com commercials. "Am I cute?" No. - Robert and Anny: tale as old as time, the liar and the gold digger. The Gift of the Magi's darkest timeline. They both deserve the big box of nothing they ordered from TrashyCatfish.com. Anny can miss me with that Very Sexy Asthmatic whine. Fucking breathe. I'm positive they have Albuterol in her contree. Robert is just a hologram from a lost Key & Peele sketch. - Elizabeth and Andrei Sasha: haven't we already seen this story line? Whiny basic and her Eastern European oppressor? Sorry but that baby scares me. - Angela and Michael: no winners in that story, either. Most of his family seems determined to live up to the Nigerian stereotype of being born to scam. His brother(?)'s shit-eating grin after saying "Michael can just give up on you and start a real family with a much better local woman" was the only thing on earth that could make me root for Angela's thousand-year-old uterus. At this point I'm watching this show almost exclusively so I can keep up with the podcasts about it. (90 Day Gays, come at us, y'all!)

As Leighdear noted, I never went on a cruise like this. Not nitpicking, just want to be clear that I wasn’t claiming to have done that particular event. This isn’t the thread for getting into theology, so I’ll just say that complememtariansim is a matter of perspective. People who live by it don’t see it as “unequal,” and women at these conferences generally did not present themselves as inferior or out of place. I’m sure some men thought that, since there are pigs in every facet of society (see above re: academia. I have stories...), but it wasn’t stated or implied in any official capacity. There is nothing curious to me about a woman like Jinger finding fellowship and interest in events like these. I guess you “just have to be there,” as the saying goes.

If it helps answer any questions, I attended some Desiring God conferences as a single woman in my mid-20s. I was in graduate school at the time, and did not find the intellectual caliber of most of the speakers to be “faux” or imaginary; they just had extremely different worldviews from the professors in my R1 graduate humanities program. You don’t have to toe the stereotypical academic line to be a scholar. (Ask me how I know! Haha) I did not and have never found John Piper to be “vile.” (Mark Driscoll is a different story...) His theology is definitely not mainstream, and I don’t agree with him all the time, but he’s respectful and rigorous. As much as one can speak for someone they don’t know personally, I believe he is a genuine person who strives for truth and integrity. These are people with a different belief system from many here on this forum, but they are not crazy or evil or the enemy of society. There was no dress code for women beyond normal social conventions — it probably would’ve been frowned upon to wear Daisy Dukes and a halter top, but it was autumn in Minneapolis so that didn’t really come up. I don’t remember thinking twice about what I wore, and I’m sure that included pants because I have super fun lymphedema (not “a lymphedema” a la My 600-Lb. Life, but the actual genetic condition), which means lots of ugly compression stockings that are best hidden under pant legs. The only part that stood out to me, or would confirm some of the most negative presumptions here about such events, was that I was the only woman from my friend group there. The rest were men/my friends’ husbands. The wives stayed home or at the hotel. It was odd, because we weren’t exactly “fundies” (I loathe that term, but it’s shorthand for what I’m describing here); we went to public universities and some of us even drank alcohol and cussed a little. But they did go a little hard on the “daddy learns about Jesus and then tells mommy about later” approach. That’s not to say that I was the only woman there in general. There were plenty on stage and in the crowd, although not nearly as many as there were men. There was a lot of complementarianism but nothing truly misogynistic that I recall. I just wanted to share because it seems like the speculation here sometimes comes from the wildest and least-informed observations of this subculture, yet gets repeated as fact within a few pages. While I was never involved in Gothardism or anything like that, I was definitely conversant in evangelical/Reformed culture. It was different from my experiences in academia, but not necessarily in a bad way. (Honestly I’ve heard more misogynistic, classist, and racist comments from left-leaning academics who think they’re in “safe” company than I ever did from the church team.) Most of the people I knew were not idiots or out of touch with society. One more thing, while I’m thinking of it: “keep sweet” is Mormon thing. Christians do not use this term. Some may have a similar philosophy, but they’re no more likely to use that phrase than they are to say “Choose the Right” or “oh my heck.” Although I wish more people in general would say “oh my heck,” because it’s hilarious.

Thanks for responding!

I wondered about this because my sense of distance is a little wonky. Flagstaff to Parowan is about 5 hours/300 miles and Flagstaff to Las Vegas is about 3.5 hours/250 miles. Either way, the fact that they have multiple properties sitting empty, hemorrhaging money, and have acquired/are in the process of acquiring eight more, is utterly absurd. I understand that people are not all born financially literate, but it seems like a group delusion the way they bop around acting like they have money. This isn't about choosing the right mid-cap fund for a projected retirement date or amortizing a reverse mortgage using only your wits and an outdated version of Excel. It's simple: you have more tortillas than you have hunks of spoiled freezer meat to put in them. Somebody is not getting a taco. And Tony has already announced that he wants six tacos. Those "big" checks they occasionally get from a TV production company cannot support an infinite number of idiots trying to pee on every hill and valley west of the Rockies. Excuse you, but that's Brown FAHBLY Water, OK? You're just a boring monogamist who wouldn't understand. They've dreamed about having that water for MONTHS!!!

I've tried to find this option, so please forgive me if I missed it. It would be really nice to be able to hide/mute/ignore certain topics in a forum I otherwise follow, so that they don't appear in the forum, they're not included in the "Next Unread Topic"* progression, and don't count as "Unread" in that forum, so if I'm all caught up on unhidden topics, the forum would show as Read. This would save a lot of unnecessary clicks, since the site tends to load much slower than others (at least on my devices), and help avoid spoilers due to lags or general user clumsiness. For example, I'd like to be able to hide the Spoilers/News/Social Media topics on reality show forums like Married at First Sight, so that I don't accidentally view them while clicking through topics, or tap them when aiming for another topic as the page does its "just kidding, I wasn't quite done loading" bump. Thanks! *Even if this is not possible, I'd love to see the upcoming topic's title brought back under "Next Unread Topic." That was a feature on the previous site iteration that I found really helpful.

I haven’t seen those, but since we know she ended up with a clitoris by her belly button last time, I don’t trust Dr. Ting and Dr. Bowers not to try to install breast implants through the thighs or something.

Same here! I despise cilantro. It doesn’t even taste like soap to me — that is far too kind of a comparison. If a man is that weird and judgy about “cilANNtro” (he doesn’t even pronounce it right!), he’s probably a bad match for me in a lot of ways. To me, that was as much of a red flag as devil worship or being a body builder. I was also super annoyed by the exaggerated baby-bouncing. The woman looked absurd, and the baby’s face was so blank, like he even had to disassociate to deal with her parenting style. He also did not react at all to his mom’s peekaboo-by-proxy game. She was laughing like “ohhh hahaha we’re all having such a good time!!” and the kid was like “nah, mom, I’m good actually.” These previews and first episodes are funny for me because I’m such a blank slate. I rarely pick up on any looming train wrecks. But even my oblivious butt was on high alert at the 25-year-old “ready for marriage” priss-pot who is considering taking back the gaslighting fuckboi the night before her wedding. ~B~a~d~~V~i~b~e~s~

For anyone who doesn’t mind over-the-top, outrageous “queen” humor, the 90 Day Gays podcast did an episode about Welcome to Plathville. Their take was a little surprising to me, compared to what I’m used to with their 90 Day Fiancé recaps, but hilarious as usual.

Especially the children’s, when they lose their hearing due to measles or mumps. Or can’t hear anything because they’re dead. 😬

Piper would also work as a reference to the great theologian John Piper. I named a girl cat after him once. (My friend named his black Labrador John Knox. Our circle had many Calvinist pets in college.) When I think of “pilot” and “missionary,” all I can picture is Homer Simpson yelling “Save me, Jebus!” Jebus Duggar. I’d say it’s too close to Jed but this family consciously named their children Janna, Joy Anna, and Johanna, so I doubt they care about that.

Based on the First Look, it's going to be a lot more of the same. Jazz overshares about her genital architecture. People around her are uncomfortable but can't do much about it because: Jazz. Dr. Bowers and Dr. Ting go into surgery without agreeing on a plan. Bowers berates Ting over a cut-open and anesthetized teenager, they wing it, Jazz ends up with a clitoris on her navel. The costs of Jazz's medical procedures prevent the family from updating their '90s Tuscan liquidation McMansion. Jeanette drifts slightly further from reality. Griffin and Ari drift further from the family. Jack and Jackie say inappropriate things and act like they don't realize it. Greg looks defeated. I'm happy for Jazz since she wanted to get into Harvard, but it was a little jarring to hear her talk about it in the context of "I wasn't even sure I wanted to go to college because I'm so lazy..." and after she chose to do home school her senior year because she hated school so much (partly for social reasons, but also she was pretty honest about hating to do the work). It's hard to believe her acceptance was purely based on academic potential. She's clearly intelligent, but lots of intelligent people aren't "college material," much less Ivy League, and lots of 18-year-olds aren't mature enough to move away from home and make themselves go to class. I suspect she will not graduate in under 5 years, and most likely not from the same place she starts. She seems more like the type to have middling stints at Harvard, Florida State, that culinary school Farrah from Teen Mom went to, the Peace Corps, Florida State again, the University of Metaphysics in Sedona, etc. I hope I'm wrong, because it would be a shame to waste her spot at Harvard, but I'm getting pretty good at spotting these types. (They usually end up my CC around age 28-31 and then do pretty well. See you in 10 years, Jazz!)