JocelynCavanaugh

God bless her. She's barely literate, but she does try to be strategic. If Harvard doesn't like people pretending they're more involved in the school than they really are, I'm guessing that making the distinction that far down the page, after mentioning Harvard without "Extension" after it several times, is not going to cut it! That could be it, too, but if so, she's still not pursuing an MA at Harvard University! I actually took an MIT class via EdX last fall for professional development. It was neat, I'm glad I did it, and I absolutely do not list MIT in the education section of my CV! I'm not really that upset about Farrah's pathetic attempt to mislead people, in case it seems that way. Obviously most will not be fooled or think it's proof of Harvard's decline! It's just amusing to dissect the exact ways in which she's making a fool of herself, and I so rarely have any use for my knowledge of graduate school and arts & humanities programs.

“Farrah is the #1 reality star and she has out grown and rose above the statics of teen pregnancy as 1out of every 4 women beat the depressive statics of teen pregnancy.” I know her writing has always been batshit, but wow. The profile currently says MA, Harvard University, and “current Masters At Harvard University in creative writing and literature expected 2023.” I don’t see Extension on the mobile site, at least nowhere in the Harvard mentions at the top. 1. This has to be a lie. 2. Creative Writing graduate programs are usually an MFA, not MA (not always, don’t @ me!) 3. They almost always require a BA or BFA to be admitted, not “a dynamic honorable education foundation graduating with honors prior dual associate degree in culinary arts and management , graduated honors entertainment business 2020.” 4. Harvard isn’t actually a top graduate program for Creative Writing. Believe it or not — I’m sure Farrah wouldn’t — University of Iowa is. Right in her home state! I actually can’t find an MA or MFA in CW on the Harvard University website, just an ALM through the Extension School, which I’m sure is a great opportunity, but it is not an MA and not Harvard University. (An ALM is basically a graduate degree for people who just want to go back to school for the challenge, but don’t plan to pursue a doctorate or a career in academia. That’s why they’re often evening and/or online programs.) 5. Getting a degree in CW doesn’t mean you have perfect grammar and punctuation, and some of the students in my program (undergraduate, but top 25) weren’t always on top of their subject-verb agreement or dangling modifiers or whatever, but they were functionally literate! And they had some spark of creativity, however faint. They read a lot, all kinds of writing, and they understood, for the most part, just how little clout was involved in getting a degree in Creative Writing...

Farrah has always been remarkably unsexy for someone who is that sexualized.

No. Maybe she was ready and he just sucked at it. It's not always the woman's fault. This is unrealistic and unfair.

My guess, just based on their dynamic and the way she (doesn’t) talk about it: it’s just one of those things that happens. You agree to date (or marry on TV) a guy you’re not quite sure about. You don’t necessarily click at first — maybe he stares you down at the altar and doesn’t even pretend to smile at you, and you go from beaming and laughing to deflated and apprehensive. Or whatever. One night, you’re trying to have a good time and connect with the guy. On paper, he’s decent and you feel like you should give him a chance. The night progresses, your inhibitions are low, and you go for it. But... it’s just not good. He touches you clumsily or makes weird noises or or kisses like a puppy lapping water. Maybe he insists on doing something you don’t enjoy, convinced you will like it if you just let him do it. It’s nothing to do with dick size or anything objectively “wrong,” but it feels awful. You’re tipsy, but aware enough to know it ain’t right. After that encounter, you go from “maybe” about him to “full-body squick,” and the more time you have to think about it, you realize there’s no going back. He just makes your skin crawl. You feel faintly violated, even though it was consensual... There’s nothing to tell him, really. Maybe he’s got a hair-trigger ego. Maybe you’re contractually obligated to spend time with him for the next 7 weeks, and every single fucking time you try to have a normal conversation, the Darkness takes over and he demands to know whether you’re attracted to him yet. What’s the use in explaining? You try to do the right thing and not say this on TV, but people keep asking. Finally, Kevin Frazier asks, and you can’t flat-out deny it. But you still don’t say “he just made me feel disgusting and everything he did was the opposite of enjoyable to me.. I’ve never fucked a slightly autistic salamander but I can’t say I don’t know the feeling.” It doesn’t matter, because whatever you say or do, some people think you’re a snotty bitch for not liking sex with a guy they saw on TV. But you truly don’t have to like it, do it again, apologize, or explain to anyone.

All season, Haley declined to confirm that Jake was bad in bed, and people said she should just come out and admit it. As I suspected, when she finally does — upon being asked directly, not just bringing it up for fun — she confirms, doesn’t go into gory detail, but is still excoriated. This is BEC at critical mass. I don’t think Haley needs to define “good sex” to anyone. Don’t adults understand that it’s different for everyone? Isn’t that a constant topic of discussion in movies, TV, podcasts, bars, and everywhere else? Maybe Jake is a fantastic sex person. (It’s hard to imagine, but let’s pretend.) He could be the best sex person in America, but if he does things that don’t work for Haley, then it’s bad sex. She’s allowed to feel that way, even if she’s “competitive” or a “liar” (still have no proof she lied but OK) or whatever else is supposed to explain the deep character flaws that made her unable to connect with the precious, innocent Nice Guy™️ who smirked at her every time she talked.

Definitely not just you. It sounded like she was making sure he understood his Berenstain Bears bedtime story. "Zied, do you know what co-op-er-a-tion is?"

I’m pleased to announce that I’m starting a book club about the back of my toothpaste tube. Study guide forthcoming.

I’ve seen so many flagrant errors in allegedly copyedited publications lately, my bar has gotten much lower. Even academic journals are letting malapropisms and comma splices slip through. But as I tell my students, my first tip-off to check for plagiarism is... a coherent paragraph. (That’s not to say none of them can write, but it’s getting bleak out there.)

I haven’t really read any books by D-List TV people, so I always wondered how they could get written, published, and on the market so quickly, and then people would already be reviewing them a day after they’re released. That screen shot answers everything. It’s triple-spaced in 14-point font like a bad term paper. (I went from required pages to word count years ago after grading too many of these, so they set off my alarms immediately.) I didn’t spot any errors on my quick reading of the page, so the faintest of congrats on that, but this is terrible, boring, cliched writing. Show, don’t tell! You weren’t first-person omniscient at the proposal, sir. You can’t tell us what her facial expression meant. You could describe what her face actually did (“eyes widened” is a start, albeit lazy). Maybe try to use one unexpected turn of phrase to describe an event we all watched on TV — just one light metaphor or some synecdoche to break up the paragraphs I literally could have written for you, from memory, having watched this episode exactly once while most likely also scrolling Previously.tv. Except I wouldn’t have made Jinger sound quite as vapid as you did. I did a shot every time he said “the ring” and now I can’t see straight.

This article is definitely trying to make us think Austin knows something about Josh’s federal CSA crimes, and then fifty single-sentence paragraphs later it’s like, “JK, it’s a civil suit, totally unrelated!” It does sound pretty bad if Austin knowingly skimped on a septic system, evaded code inspection, and sold the house without disclosing that the “water” in the backyard might be sewage. Not “going to some trouble to watch children be horrifically violated for his sick sexual gratification” bad, but... not awesome. (IDK if this came up on the forum back when it happened — I couldn’t keep up with it for a while. Sorry if redundant!)

You’re much kinder than I am. I was done with Anna six years ago, when she stayed with a guy who publicly humiliated her even though she had viable options to get away. Now she’s had/having three more kids with him, and didn’t immediately file for divorce when he was charged with something so depraved yet not all that surprising. I don’t consider her ignorant upbringing a sufficient excuse. She can go to hell as far as I’m concerned. Sometimes people are legitimately victims and sometimes legitimate victims are also arrogant assholes who victimize their children by choosing pride over safety. [This is not meant to accuse Josh of doing anything to his kids. I mean the stuff that’s confirmed publicly.]

Jeremy tagged Jinger, and then Jinger reposted and said “socks and shoes Jeremy got me,” so it’s definitely her. I don’t see cankles at all! Her ankles are tiny. She’s affecting kind of an “athletic” stance and the angle is a bit wonky, but if a man had those legs everyone would be making fun of him for his skinny chicken legs! I tried to zoom in to figure out whether she actually has hairy legs. That seems more like a Jill move. It’s hard to tell, but I think they could just be a bit ashy with some veins peeking through. I’m hardly one to judge all that, since I’m somehow several shades paler than most Duggars except that cave newt Josie. Also I love the shoes SNS

Out of all the disturbed and disturbing pairs on this show, the lawyer twins married to the doofus twins are the biggest nightmare for me. The first three seconds they were on screen, stage-whisper-giggling with that saliva clacking around in their maws, like eating CHOACKLIT in the DARK was the most hilarious and quirky thing that only twins would think to do, I was already yelling for someone to mute the TV. There’s hardly a full brain between the two of them. I wouldn’t let them represent me pro bono. Shouldn’t people admitted to the bar in at least one hapless state understand that a child cannot have “four biological parents” in any legal or logical sense, no matter what slapdash claims one makes about DNA? I cannot imagine being married to someone for two years, yet afraid to go on a solo date with him. I’ve had better conversations with the people seated next to me on an airplane. What is it like to have a career, a husband, a shared baby, but no soul?

It’s delusional, I know, but I am hoping this is the last season where they make a plot point out of whether someone will say “I love you” by the end of, what is it, two whole months? How much could it truly mean at that point? I do not care to sit through another iteration of this non-problem. Ryan and his stupid mustache aren’t into Clara and never will be. She needs to get a keratin infusion and a hair color that might conceivably occur on someone with dark brown eyes and start over. She could find someone who appreciates her and is suitably fast and loose with the L-word. Does Virginia have an alcohol problem AND the name of a liquor within her name? I hadn’t noticed. We definitely should’ve made more of an effort to caps and bold that hysterical coincidence every single week. This show was actually a huge blessing for Jake, because now he is certain to nab one of the many women who evidently do not see anything nasty, self-centered, tiresome, contrarian, or detached from reality about the way he lumbers through the world. He will be up to his narrowed, dismissive eyeballs in ladies! Mazel. Haley looked fabulous, actually. She didn’t seem dressed for clubbing, IMO, just wearing a nice dress that fit her well. I don’t get the sense that she’s trying to prove much to anyone, so much as thrilled to be done with explaining herself six ways from Sunday while tiptoeing around the whole “he was so bad in bed I’ve been full-body cringing for seven straight weeks” thing to spare a toxic ego. She’s not the kind of person I’m normally friends with, but I hope she and her best basics had a great time getting her groove back, however shallow the groove may be. Perhaps the greatest mystery of the season is how someone as smart, pretty, and accomplished as Bri could be over the moon about a big, mumbly crybaby. But if she’s happy then God bless. I never once saw her live up to that cruel “bossy” misnomer her “friends” and “family” slapped on her. Misogyny sure is a delight, especially when it’s coming from inside the house. Hopefully Vincent is capable of growth enough to see how accommodating she really is. And with that, I have covered every couple on this show. There were no others and nothing else happened, except that one infuriating yet mind-numbingly dull fever dream I had about two silly trolls playing Itchy and Scratchy in ill-fitting costumes. I’m glad none of you had to experience it. It was awful and would NOT have made for good TV. That’s called an Incubus!

Yes, you made that very clear. Fortunately I was just rambling about Josh’s hypothetical access to fast food, so it’s not important and we definitely don’t need to explore the topic further. I recognize and salute your superior knowledge of that particular corner of Arkansas!

I’m looking at Arkansas. Those sites showed up in the highlighted area on the map that usually indicates a town when I searched “Goshen AR”. Maybe Google got it mixed up? IDK, just reporting what I found in about 2 minutes of research.

Just looking at Goshen on Google Maps, it seems like a lovely place with some scenic sites and plenty of churches. There’s a Walmart, McDonald’s, and Subway in town, but the nearest Chick-fil-a is 13 miles west in Fayetteville. I’ve seen conflicting reports on whether Josh is free to leave or be alone without the chaperone people. It may be that he can come and go without them, as long as he doesn’t violate the other terms of where he can be. I wonder if a fast food drive-thru would count. Maybe not, since they often hire minors depending on the legal working age in the state. Even if he steered clear of the ball pit, no 16-year-old girl should have to tell him “my pleasure” when he grabs the vanilla shake and two combo meals from her. (You just know he’s the vanilla shake type.)

The "psychic" twins are about as convincing as the Australians who "finish each other's sent--" "SENTtences." It's interesting how often with sets of twin sisters that one will marry and the other won't -- same with Patrice and Patrice or whatever. Psychic Sidekick wasn't very subtle with her "anxiety" meltdown over her sister's relationship. (Sorry, literally no idea what their names were. Marry-Date and Trashley? IDK.) Girl, you are not "sensing" a damn thing. You're reading the same non-verbal cues most neurotypical adult humans can pick up on, plus a splash of paranoia and three pumps of raging insecurity. Ask for decaf next time. The bed-sharing creep sister needs Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. She went off on her whole list of problems and reasons she can't do anything except share a bed with her unwilling brother-in-law. Not a house, but the whole ass bed. The way she presented it, there were only two options: Adult Co-Sleeping or life on the temperate streets of Gig Harbor. I can't tell if she really thinks in such catastrophic dichotomies or she's just a manipulative little bloodsucker.

Tim and Veronica and Veronica's beautiful pets are always a highlight. I rarely laugh out loud at anything in this franchise, but V got me with "don't hang yp your vagina. Lay that thing out flat!"

I was speaking in general about some posters' tendency to get drunk on the power of knowing spoilers and make such obvious and heavy-handed hints that they might as well just announce what they know and see if the headpats materialize (e.g., "I heard that a certain handsome black groom whose name sounds like "teeth" chooses to divorce a beautiful black bride who made her whole identity about being a virgin who swallowed a quarter, but I don't want to say more because that might give it away."). Even if they put comments like that in spoiler tags, other people quote and reply to them in the thread and it's a lost cause. I've had this happen a few times on here/Previously/TWOP. The mods do shut it down if they're warned in time, but obviously they can't catch everything. I've been the one to report it far more than I'd like. I was hoping to pre-empt that happening here by reminding others that some of us really, truly do NOT want spoilers, hints of spoilers, gleeful allusions to spoilers, or other forms of ruining this stupid show we've been too invested in for the past couple of months.

There were already crimes. This thread title was my submission back when we were naming threads, so I vote we keep it. 😊 The understatement is the joke.

I'm definitely aware that Discovery+ has all the Discovery universe channels, but I wasn't sure how people who cut the cord were getting regular TLC to begin with.

You didn’t! It was just a desperate reminder to anyone who might be tempted...

That’s the thing — I pay for cable and have for years, so to me, it’s kind of insulting for Discovery to put content that used to be on cable behind an additional paywall after viewers made this ridiculous franchise into a juggernaut. It’s just a few dollars, but it adds up when I’m already paying for FiOS, HBO, Showtime, Netflix, Amazon, and Patreon subscriptions to podcasts about these shows! (Not arguing with your point, just explaining my reasoning! 😄)