JocelynCavanaugh

A lot of us prefer not to see spoilers, which is why the rule is not to mention them in episode threads. I hope people won’t keep alluding and dropping obvious hints that might as well be spoilers. It seems to keep happening no matter how many mod reminders are posted.

Twins are always a bit creepy, but those Australian twins need serious help. They've either devised an elaborately pathetic schtick to get on American TV or they are actually living in an untreated OCD spiral and no one is helping them. Even the mom seemed a little afraid of them. Their dentist started off good with that firm "no!" but then he followed it with the waffling about there being no official guidelines. Bro, I bet there are. I'm not admitted to the Dental Society of Down Under or whatever, but I'd wager my best molar that they frown upon extracting healthy teeth so that two grown-ass adult humans "can be the same." Then there's Patrice and Patrix. Like first of all, may I speak with your mother, ladies? Because I know sometimes we like to give our twins matchy names, but ma'am. That is the same name. Don't act all shocked that they consider dinner their "special private time together" when they banish everyone else. You started this. I spaced out toward the end, and when I looked up, there was a pretty but odd/Mormonic widow with seven shrieking children and I kept waiting for her creepy sister to appear, but all we got was a slightly unnerving widower and for more pollywog-looking kids, and I realized TLC Go had pulled a fast one and autoplayed The Blended Bunch after Extreme Sisters ended. Nice try, TLC. I only watched most of that show.

I'd be worried her teeth will turn out like Jovi's on 90 Day Fiancé.

"I'm not familiar." -- Yolanda

These assholes again... I'm just watching so I can participate here and know what the Reality Gays are talking about on their podcast. There's hardly anyone on this season that I can stand. I don't mind Michael (Kehinde not Yeti), but words cannot express how much I did not need a scene about the contents of a diaper or related sound effects. They don't even have kids, but we still need a baby shoehorned in because the viewing public apparently has baby fever? Note to Discovery: I do not. Additional note: is there something about a Nigerian baby that makes it okay to show its bare, soiled ass on TV? You know that's a future adult, right? Asuelu is stupid. Not looking forward to another season of comments about the nonexistent "Asuelo," but it will be nice to commiserate about what a stupid fucking idiot he is. (Just think: Asuelu, like Babalu or Desilu, from another insulting TV caricature of a foreign husband.) Kalani, girl, I know you fancy yourself a Pacific Islander Kardashian. Take a cue from Kim and File. For. Divorce. You don't want to be a Khloe, do you? Brandon's sense of humor is such a red flag to me. Life is too short to waste on people who think it's funny to trick you and laugh at your disappointment. Julia, girl. Take a cue from Kalani and file for divorce. You can move to my big city in Texas. I'll take you to fun places and teach you the difference between "he" and "him." I wonder if Discovery would consider partnering with Viacom to produce Marriage Boot Camp: Family Edition: Reality Stars: Divorce Proceedings: ESL Lessons. Get Dr. V and Dr. Ish in there and act out some funerals. I'd love to see those themed bedrooms -- MAGA and cake for Angela and Michael, Samwan Gift Shop with all the beds jumped on with dirty shoes for Kalani and Asuelu, Hot Tub Swingers' Club for the Elves on the Shelves from Dinwiddie, Orthodox Cathedral/Firecracker Fish Pond for Big Mike and Nyetalie. That is literally the only way they could get me to pay for Discovery+.

I’m starting to get a little worried for Haley. The Haley I see on MAFS is a pretty normal person, kind of basic, but not especially evil or cruel. She’s just in a bad situation and handling it imperfectly. But some of the claims I’m seeing about her are just outrageous, like I honestly wonder if my FiOS is getting a different version of the show to stir up chatter. But it’s to the point where I worry that she might need a restraining order, except I don’t know of any jurisdiction that will issue one against “the general public” or “internet mean girls.”

Even though I’ve watched this show from the beginning, I was still stunned when Kody said that Ysabel would need him there to draw strength from him. What a self-centered dimwit. He really doesn’t see these kids as individuals. They’re just reflections of him and opportunities to make him look good — mostly just in his own mind. What Ysabel NEEDS is scoliosis surgery two years ago. Since you denied her that, what she needs is scoliosis surgery ASAP, accompanied by an adult to help and comfort her and not turn the ordeal into a circus. Sadly, despite the conceit that she has five parents who could fill that role, there’s only one who can or will and it sure as hell isn’t her useless biological father. I’m usually the farthest thing from a “but what about the ChiLDreN?!” type, but when Christine said Ysabel’s pain had been at an 8 or 9/10 for months and she was beyond her breaking point, and Kody started blabbering out a bunch of “solutions” that boiled down to “her pain is not a factor. My time and money and convenience and fear of COVID are all that matter,” I was yelling at the TV. The pain and fear Ysabel has experienced due to her biological father’s selfishness, laziness, and obvious lack of concern for his non-Robyn children, and her mother’s brainwashing and lack of resources, is unimaginable. I would not be surprised if she ends up with some form of PTSD or other long-term psychological effects. Kody needs to let them go. Just set these people free. They would all be better off without him — Christine and Meri and their kids, for sure, but also Janelle and hers, whether she realizes it or not. Robyn and hers probably would, too, just because he’s a toxic moron in general, but they’re at least reaping some meager benefit from his attention and preferential treatment.

For some reason, I watched this episode again, and I feel like Kaye is getting off a little too easily here. Yes, Jarod has stupid ideas about kings and tribes and [other lingo for how to control multiple women], but he does not seem to have made a secret of this. For some reason, although she appears to be intelligent, capable, and attractive, Kaye chose to join said tribe and become a "queen." Now she wants to work 'round the clock at two jobs and be away from Jarod's village most waking hours. I respect her hustle, but this is not what she agreed to. Every time they're shown talking, Jarod stays fairly calm and reasonable (again, within the bounds of his stupid ideas) and Kaye flips the fuck out. It definitely has crossed my mind that she could be at the end of her rope because Jarod gaslights her -- I will not rule that out -- but she goes nuclear really fast, and the things she says sound way out of proportion to the thing she's mad about. There may be a lot more we don't know that would make it all make sense. Or this could all be fake and she's overacting by several orders of magnitude. But given only the information the show has provided, Jarod and Wife 1 are sticking to the plan and Kaye is the one not cooperating. They're handling it better than I would if I ever decided to try out this lifestyle, which is the absolute last thing on earth I'd ever do thanks to TLC's many shows about these miserable people. I don't even understand why Kaye is maintaining the illusion of a relationship with them. They just moved to a new house and she's not moving with them, she's deeply uncomfortable around everyone, and every interaction with Jarod ends in screaming. Girl, move on.

I've had a soft spot for Amber and held out hope for her a lot longer than most, here and elsewhere, but this season my feelings for her have dropped (as another problematic fave used to say). There are so many times when it would not be difficult at all to do the right thing, but she still chooses the worst option. At best, Amber's mental illness is progressing unchecked and could be treated with consistent therapy and medication, but I'm afraid that's not where this is all headed. Speaking of untreated, does Tyler have some hearing loss? That's the only way I could excuse his compulsive need to start yelling if anyone else tries to talk. He may believe he's too good for Catelynn, but I doubt he'd find too many other women willing to be shouted down constantly. Sadly, I do think he's the better parent, in terms of being more attentive as well as not building an entire wardrobe out of "being a parent is literally torture someone pls kill me" shirts while actively trying to have more children.

Julia and Amira are probably angling for more sweet Matt Sharp TV time, but I don't want to see either of those little gremlins on my screen again. As @mamadrama, I believe, pointed out somewhere in these threads, Julia has all the wisdom of a very young person who doesn't know jack shit about life. I'm super not interested in her hot takes on how weight loss works (that's not even why you get lipo, dumbass) and why birth control is poison, all delivered with unwavering refusal to use the word "he" when a male is the subject of the sentence. Him do this, him don't do that, me no watch. Amira is a tiresome vacuum of self-efficacy. I've never seen anyone on this show, not even Dinyell "Mahamit Frauded Me" Jbali, coast along with less sense of agency in her own life. Maybe she's the opposite of Samson, and if someone cut that Troy Polamalu mop off her thick head she'd gain strength. And the whining, oh lord, the whining. It's fantastic that she's multi-lingual, but I'm still deducting points for the Peggy-Hill-Spanish approach to English accent and emphasis. Like I've said before, no one in France would tolerate me putting a heavy Texan cadence on le Francais, and I wouldn't blame them a bit. She says she wants to leave France because she doesn't feel she fits in there, but I'd argue there's no better place on Earth for an extra from Moulin Rouge 2: Whiny Ass Boogaloo.

The thing people seem to forget is that Jake was never into Haley, either. He’s said it more than once. When asked directly last week, “Is Haley the one for you?”, he didn’t say yes. He deflected and put it back on her. If Haley did everything right, she would be acceptable to him. (This from a guy who tells her that her own opinions are wrong.) This is all about his butthurt ego. Maybe he can “laugh at himself” when it comes to dressing like a clown at professional events (what a catch! The “embarrassing one”!), but not when he suspects, however irrationally, that someone isn’t giving him his rightful credit for that oh-so-relatable sense of humor or his big, boring muscles or the sneering indifference he believes to be “maturity.” Haley has, in fact, smiled, laughed, and appeared to have fun many times on this show. Maybe it was “fake” — Lord knows this girl can’t do anything right — but she absolutely tried. You’d have to be having mini-strokes all season not to see it. And maybe it’s just my culture (America, c. forever), but one of the cardinal rules of gift-giving etiquette is that when you give a gift, you let it go. It’s been given. You don’t have the infinite right to whinge about how it’s used or not. Not even if you sneak an infinity symbol into said gift. That’s not a loophole in Georgia. An $800 bracelet in necklace’s clothing, given to a stranger, is a bit of a white elephant in any case. Perhaps Jake meant it as a sincere gesture. I have no idea. But if so, it’s another case of being completely out of touch with the newfangled theory sweeping the nation that women are human beings, equal to men, not groveling semi-people who must forever kiss the feet of any man who drops an expensive trinket in their laps. I could watch every second of footage from this season, but I will never see Jake as an innocent victim of this wicked woman who deliberately went on the show to fuck with him. That’s literally not what happened. But the most shocking thing has been how well his super-obvious manipulations have worked on so many. I’m sure he will find the right woman soon enough. She’ll be a simpering doormat with no desire to be her own person. It’ll be fantastic.

The fact that Kody believes blond hair is a dominant trait in any context cancels out his semi-reasonable response to COVID. Science: 1, Kody: 0.

I had forgotten about this until they showed the flashback to Haley and Jake's wedding, but it was the ceremony that had me AND my husband cringing and yelling at the TV -- and when he and I both see these couples' interactions the same way, you know it's bad. Haley walked in beaming, and she was visibly excited and nervous, but smiling, when the ceremony began. (She did not give any indication whatsoever that she was immediately not attracted to Jake.) She tried to interact with him during the vows and throw in some light humor, but he did not reciprocate AT. ALL. He just stared her down or looked away. He read his vows like he was taking a solemn oath to go die for a cause. You could watch her deflate in real time. I don't think Jake is a ruthless psychopath like Chris, but I also don't think he's a nice person. I am willing to believe that he has no idea how he comes across to some people, with the unsmiling stare and the upturned chin/literally looking down his nose at Haley. Having spent the past year on video calls, I've learned more than I ever wanted to know about the dumb facial expressions I make when interacting with people, so I get it (although mine tend toward overly expressive, not unblinking disdain). But Jake also makes no effort to help a conversation progress or play along with someone else's humor. He imagines the worst possible motivation, or an impossible falsehood, about Haley, and then treats her as though it's literally what happened. Who would know how to deal with that? When they were at the winery and she was wearing the stupid hat, I watched specifically to see if I could detect what others describe about her "sour" demeanor. She was smiling, making eye contact, and even laughing. She agreed, as she has done many times, that they should just get along as friends for the rest of the "experiment." She acknowledged that she shares part of the blame for how things have gone. I honestly could not see any of the bad things she's been accused of; in fact, she came off even better than I remembered. Jake didn't "tell her off." He threw a little baby bitch fit, tilted at some adulterous windmills, and she was too confused to react effectively because none of the hateful accusations he was lobbing were based on even a scintilla of reality. Seemingly out of nowhere, Jake went to his Dark Place and started making shitty, rude comments when they had just been having a pleasant conversation (or as close as they could get). Once again, Haley's confusion and disappointment were obvious. She asked him why, what did he mean, told him she honestly didn't understand, but he aggressively refused to have a real exchange with her. He is a mean person. He is not nice. He does not want to get along with anyone; he wants them to get along with him, no matter how weird or mean or off-putting he is. He's paranoid and defensive and doesn't respond to other humans normally. This is why I said he has a personality disorder. Everybody in the history of this series has shown their ass at some point, but only a few have been this consistently unpleasant, self-pitying, manipulative, and inflexible. It's also worth noting how the rest of the cast responds to him. That over-hyped night when Haley met the other women for drinks, and the other husbands stopped by and then stayed? First of all, "who does that on their honeymoon?" Um, probably someone who just married a stranger who is exhausting to deal with. But also, there were like 5-8 other people there who did not insist that Jake join them. Their body language when paired with him on Unfiltered is also interesting. There's a lot of side-eye and shifting away. It might just be that Jake is an acquired taste, and only the most... discerning... of palates can appreciate him. And for the record, I just want to say that, although it probably doesn't seem that way, I'm not a huge Haley fan. She's fine, but kind of basic. She has not been 100% right in every interaction. But I also recognize the behavior of a well-meaning person who is deeply introverted (that doesn't mean shy; it means introverted) and a little socially anxious. I don't think it's fair to accuse her of deliberately signing up for this show while NOT wanting to be married. That's a Chris move. Hopefully even Haley's biggest detractors could agree: she's not as bad as Chris. This was just one of the worst matches ever in a series of mostly bad matches plus Woody & Amani.

OMFG Jake has a personality disorder

If she didn't know to do that after she said it, she probably figured it out on Thursday morning when she had 50 emails about unknown devices accessing her accounts!

Chris and Paige should not be on this show. It's insulting that the producers keep making us sit through this crap. The only thing I got out of their segments was being reminded that there is a funny cultural quirk where white Americans tend to call a Mercedes-Benz a Mercedes, and black Americans are more likely to call it a Benz. One of my best friends growing up came from a "Benz" family, which is how I first noticed. I thought she sounded so cool and cazh' just being like, "my mom is picking me up in the green Benz." Like, NBD, just the green luxury sedan. If they're doing this on purpose, especially in 2020 (and I can certainly believe they are), they're just sick. Tensions are as high as they've ever been. It's not cute to put anyone in that position in an intimate relationship. Fortunately, the show hasn't typically showed any political discussion, and I hope it stops and doesn't do more. That said, I remember a few couples where it was implied that their politics did align well: Bobby/Danielle, Jamie/Beth, Woody/Amani, and Bennett/Amelia all come to mind. And they're all still together! Imagine that... I'd have to review, but I think I spotted an opaque thermal tumbler on the table next to her laptop while she was announcing her bank password to the universe. Those can keep coffee warm, but they can also keep white wine or a cocktail cool. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume it was just some Country Time Lemonade. These comments nail it! Unfortunately for Haley, her "thing" on the show is that she's too picky. So now, no matter who she's matched with, if she's not into him it's because her personality is defective. But in this case, there are some serious personality... differences... on both sides. I think she keeps saying she's still trying because in her mind, she is. We can all see her wanting to crawl out of her own skin when she's near Jake, but I can also see her trying -- and apparently failing, based on many comments here -- to avoid the "bitch edit." She and Jake will be having a decent conversation, she'll even smile or laugh a little at something he says, and then IMMEDIATELY his face darkens, his voice takes on an underworldly timbre, and he makes some ominous comment about I MADE YOU LAUGH DO YOU FINALLY WANT TO FUCK ME NOW. And you can see her totally deflate and crawl back inside herself. He can't just enjoy a moment; he demands feedback and it must be positive, and he can't or won't see how counterproductive this approach is. Maybe Haley is too uptight, too detached, whatever -- I don't personally think so, but I'm also more independent and not very touchy-feely, so I've been accused of those things, too. But I don't think she's a liar or a monster. Jake gaslights her, and some viewers, by revising history. She tries to tell her side of what happened, like when he waited up for her as a MarTyR oF LoVe even though he didn't tell her he was doing it, but he talks over her and starts to turn into Hulk Jake, so she gives up. No matter what she does, she's going to be criticized, because Jake has a Master's degree in Nice Guy Bullshit. Unfortunately for him, I have a PhD in Seeing Through Your Bullshit. Summa cum STFU.

If I actually believed Hazel were into men, I'd say she and Harris should hook up. Then they could live a life of 100% never smiling together and quit casting a pall on everyone else. The only issue would be whose kids they'd abandon. Stephanie and Tarik would probably be a good match. They both love the "finer" things in life, like generic romantical gestures with wine and chocolates and talking a lot while saying literally nothing. She's more of a sex tourist than Ed ever was, yet people were absolutely vicious to him. (I always wondered if it wasn't partly due to his syndrome, like how dare a "defective" man expect a skinny, stinky, young woman to love him?) At least Ed didn't swap out Rose/Rosemary/RoseMaRIE for an item of equal value at the checkout counter. It's my understanding that alcoholism is rarely cured by one's spouse giving birth. Best of luck to them, though! Yara talks about New Orleans like it's Rexburg, Idaho or Dinwiddie, Virginia or Sandusky, Ohio, or any of the other less "appealing" places other fiancés have come to live. She's welcome to prefer Ukraine, no skin off my back, but she's laying it on a bit thick with the whole "NOLA is trash and no one could have a good life here" schtick. It is literally The Worst. Some actual Peggy Hill nonsense, but also lazy and whiny. If I spoke French with the most exaggerated American English accent and went HARD on the wrong syllables, I'm pretty sure the people of France would not be so patient with me. YES. She's awful! She seems to get a pass because she's the non-American one (Americans on the internet love to hate Americans on TV), her fiancé is legit gross, and she's "beautiful," but all I see is an immature Easter Island Moai with a victim complex and a Cousin Itt coiffure. Maybe she wouldn't sound so weary if she weren't carrying 76 lbs. of frizz on that noggin. This show did Belgrade (or as Andrew calls it, "Belgrahd") so dirty. I was there just a few months before Amira was, and I thought it was lovely. Serbia is a former Soviet country, so it's not always going to be as efficient and neat as Stockholm or Copenhagen, but it's not one big, violent, graffiti-encased ghetto by any means. They gave the world Djokovic and Tesla, and are rightfully proud of both. I was disappointed that we didn't see the Djokovic-themed wing of the airport. (I am in no way exaggerating. There are murals.) Amira moaned something about not having eaten for hours, but the lockdowns appeared to be starting around dinner time. Once again, nothing is Amira's fault. She doesn't bother to procure a meal after being in town for a day? Blame COVID and grotty old SebbiyYA. I'm not sure what Amira's budget was like, but Serbia is on the dinar, and my American dollar* went pretty far there, hotel-wise. Surely the Euro could've gotten her something that looked less like a prop closet. The elevators are all exactly like the one we saw, though. In Former Soviet Belgrahhhd, you survive the elevators we provide, or you don't deserve to survive. These people keep a NATO-bombed building in its bombed-out state as a monument in the middle of town. Euro Disney it is not. They aren't here to coddle a whiny French mail-order bride, although I bet they appreciated her trowel-based approach to makeup. *Lawfully harvested

(that's the joke) 😁

Mila looks nothing like Ashley and very little like Anthony. She does, however, look quite a bit like Fortune Feimster. This is the MAFS conspiracy theory I'm all in on.

This is an interesting observation, especially contrasted with her need for alone time. If someone told her she's actually an introvert, she'd probably refuse to hear them, but bringing up regular time to herself, unprompted, in a discussion of must-haves, is Intro to Introverts behavior. She loves to party and loves attention and being a "cool girl," but deep down, she's society's most maligned of all types. (I say this as an unapologetic introvert.) What Brianna said to Vincent was actually pretty mean, but I can believe that she didn't think of it that way. If he had clearly communicated at that moment, she probably could've seen his perspective and made a point to do better. Instead, he went to the dark place, sulked, and forced her to drag it out of him -- and even then, really wasn't explicit about the statement and why it bothered him. Haley is clearly not into Jake at all. She tried to fake it, but couldn't make it. Unless the editing is more deceptive than usual, the point of no return was when they had sex. Something about it didn't work for her, but she's trying not to say anything to humiliate him on camera. She's in a bad position; no matter how she handles this, she'll be criticized. "She should be nice and make herself love him because he's such a Nice Guy!" "She should be honest and quit stringing him along like that hag* Molly!" "Why didn't she just tell millions of viewers that he likes to role-play Cousin Larry and Balki during intimacy? Dr. Pepper could've talked them through it!" The problem is not that Jake likes the '80s. Sure, it was a hideous, tacky decade full of stupid movies that everyone needs to stop quoting, but people are entitled to like it. It's the substituting of a heavy-handed quirk for a personality, and the glee with which he makes those around him uncomfortable by turning all conversations back to it. He reminds me of the kind of person who would eat a huge slice of raw onion while maintaining unblinking eye contact with someone who doesn't like onions: fuckin' weird. Random comparison, I know. Related, but not totally correlated, is that Jake emits a frequency that some of us pick up on and others don't. It's like how some people like cilantro, but a few of us know it to be the Weed of Satan. We can't expect others to understand, because we're working with different equipment. But my radar, and a few others' here, are detecting the cruel potential lurking under Jacob's calm demeanor. I already sensed it, but when he went from zero to "you have a boyfriend," it was confirmed. He's scary. I think Haley is trying not to set him off, but she's unfortunately not very good at that. I hope they can part amicably and soon. Ryan, sweetie, come here and let Auntie Joce shave your head. Time for a fresh start, hon. That skunk tail stuck to your noggin ain't it. *beautiful, thin blonde, AKA, she who must be destroyed

Clara reminds me of the Girls Next Door, all three of them. Mostly Holly, but some Bridget and a smidge of Kendra. Or maybe Gwen Stefani. But definitely that smart-but-trashy/has-no-business-going-that-blonde-but-you-can't-stop-her aesthetic.

Every week this season is a new adventure in misery. It’s not a good sign when Tarik and Hazel seem like the best match of the whole group! I was generally Team Yara until it came out that the reason Jovi didn’t believe her was that she’d lied before as a “joke.” And I have no patience for the mindset of “I would never put birth control tOXiNs in my body, but also I can’t believe I’m pregnant when all I did was HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX while not wanting to get pregnant! I’m such an innocent victim of the whims of fate! Who will save me from this totally unpredictable outcome of my choices?!” Zied doesn’t seem evil or anything, and Detective Karen was out of line in how she approached the topic, but her point was correct. How many times will Rebecca make the exact same, oddly specific mistake? Her relationship with Zied seems totally superficial. Maybe he’s passive enough to stick around through sheer inertia, but this is not an intellectual power couple. Brandon and his family are weird and scary. I feel bad for Julia, but I hope she understands that she’s consenting to these terms by staying. She probably has no options other than returning to Russia — I doubt many places will rent to someone with no money, no job, and tenuous visa status — but like it or not, that is her option. If she stays, her life is up to Betty until Betty dies, even if she and Brandon move out. Then after Betty dies, there’s a non-zero chance it will be up to Ghost of Betty or Brandon asking his Betty Brand ouija board What Would Mother Do? She’ll probably spite-bequeath them the pigs and nothing else.

The one on the right is a little bit Alexis

Stephanie’s relationship with her cat is the only thing I really like about her. I call my cat Brother Bear for no particular reason. It just suits him. I am almost positive he’s not a bear. And I call the other one Kitten even though she’s 9. But then again I do have a prescription for benzos PRN. Perhaps I should tell my doctor about this disturbing thing I’ve been doing. I know it probably doesn’t matter, but I cannot wear shorts on a plane. The backs of my legs sticking to those vinyl seats... UGH. I just can’t do it! Plus I try to dress semi-respectably just in case they’re doing surreptitious upgrades. Gotta look like I belong in First Class! Something about Amira’s voice is uniquely annoying. She probably speaks at least three languages, so good for her, but I hope she doesn’t make them all sound as petulant and marble-mouthed as she does English. It reminds me of Sofia Vergara, whose accent has suspiciously grown much thicker since becoming a famous actress in America... PS Brandon is like if Elf on the Shelf got bitten by a Gremlin.

Yes, I wasn’t clear but I was thinking she misunderstood what he meant by the term. I definitely don’t fault her for defending her friend! I assumed Chris used the term correctly and Paige’s friend — understandably already on edge with his sleazy vibe — took it as an insult in context. Then again, maybe he used it wrong, too, and it was intended as shade. The lack of age difference/impossibility of being decades younger than any of the grooms (unless they put Jacob with an 18-year-old*) is part of why I was nitpicking the choice of the term “trophy wife.” *Dear MAFS producers: this is NOT a suggestion for your show. Do not do this. Age-appropriate trainwrecks only, please.