S02.E26: Love Is a Sickness

[Drogo]

Lacey meets an ex-con at release, then gets caught in a lie; Angela lusts after Tony, but a race to the halfway house threatens all; Lizzy reunites with Daniel and clashes with his mom; Cheryl awaits felon fiancé; Amber reveals her true feelings.

Airs 8/30/19.

[Drogo]

Tonight on Love After Lockup: 

[PityFree]

Well. Two bit hos and baggies full of semen. The show’s getting off quite a start.

[LucyEth]

7 minutes ago, PityFree said:

Well. Two bit hos and baggies full of semen. The show’s getting off quite a start.

They are disgusting.  

[goofygirl]

"HunnyBunny"  "Sweetie Pie"  "Beautiful Girl"  "TURD BURGLAR"....... Just kinda rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?

[PityFree]

Good lord. She was impressed by how intelligent Vince seemed??  Honey, you need to raise your standards.

[goofygirl]

Jeebus. These people!  And I have a question.... How are Daniel and whatsherface gonna have a "personal meeting" if his MOM is right there in the motel?

OMG.  Those tats of Daniel's!  Upside down umbrella for "the tears I've cried that nobody has wiped away?  GAAA! It looked like there was some shit tattooed on his dumbass eyelids as well. OUCH!

[goofygirl]

Think TURD BURGLAR's gonna dig the "Holiday Motel"???

[toodles]

29 minutes ago, PityFree said:

Well. Two bit hos and baggies full of semen. The show’s getting off quite a start.

Nothing says true love like a baggie full of sperm.

19 minutes ago, goofygirl said:

"TURD BURGLAR"....... Just kinda rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?

How romantic.  I'm sure he recited Shakespeare's soliloquy from Romeo and Juliet next.

[Armchair Critic]

Tony's no fool, he got a free steak dinner and a ride to the halfway house without having sex.

[LucyEth]

What a bunch of idiots, I have too honestly say, I think Amber has the most brains out this whole creepy group.  Funny that she locked her bedroom door.  That is very telling about how she feels about Vince.

[MISTIE]

38 minutes ago, PityFree said:

Well. Two bit hos and baggies full of semen. The show’s getting off quite a start.

I threw up a little in my mouth when Cheryl mentioned the baggie full of semen.

[Armchair Critic]

2 minutes ago, LucyEth said:

I think Amber has the most brains out this whole creepy group.  Funny that she locked her bedroom door.  That is very telling about how she feels about Vince.

She is not into him, is she waiting for her girlfriend to get out?

[Keywestclubkid]

Ok how dumb is that dude to One not know she’s not into him and 2 not know she’s a lesbian who is in love with her old cell mate. 

[LucyEth]

1 minute ago, Keywestclubkid said:

Ok how dumb is that dude to One not know she’s not into him and 2 not know she’s a lesbian who is in love with her old cell mate. 

It's definitely "Puppy Love"

[Armchair Critic]

Shane really likes Lacey's smile? All I notice is overblown lips and annoying vocal fry.

[Keywestclubkid]

She wouldn’t give you her phone passcode and she got out of the car and walked away to take a phone call .... dude you know what’s up. What is with these people?

Edited August 31, 2019 by Keywestclubkid

[PityFree]

 I would never give a former felon the passcode to my phone. These people are insane 

[goofygirl]

And SHANE is the malicious wound guy! He's in her car! Watching her dumbass talk on the phone on the side of the road!

Old John may need to have Plan B for where he paroles out.  Just a thought.

[PityFree]

Wow.  Mary (of Mary & Dom)  has used so much filler in her lips that she cannot even close her mouth.

[PityFree]

Daniels face, neck and hand tattoos tell me that he never plans to get a job.

[hoosiermom]

Oh! Josh is from my hometown of Pueblo,Colorado. I drove past that prison many times on my way to go skiing or to the mountains in general. He is not in the same prison as “Kadinzky” but the 2 prisons are fairly close together.

[Spike]

Cheryl resembles a junkie scarecrow.  She could be a stick figure for Halloween.  Her legs look like pipe cleaners.

[Drogo]

"You're not a two-bit whore."

"Thank you babe, I appreciate that."

[Spike]

I knew Angela’s teeth were jacked but the close ups in the car were brutal.  Her two front teeth are huge like donkey teeth and on top of that they have a giant gap between them.  Gee I wonder why he doesn’t want a BJ.  Stop buying cartons of smokes and use that money to get thee to a dentist pronto.

[DiamondGirl]

47 minutes ago, Spike said:

Cheryl resembles a junkie scarecrow.  She could be a stick figure for Halloween.  Her legs look like pipe cleaners.

You can tell that they’re instructed to run into each other’s arms with the woman jumping with joy to wrap her legs around him, which BTW I think is tacky.

But Cheryl must have forgotten because he had to say to her “wrap your legs around me.”  Much spontaneous emotion.  

[RealReality]

2 hours ago, Spike said:

Cheryl resembles a junkie scarecrow.  She could be a stick figure for Halloween.  Her legs look like pipe cleaners.

Dead! 🤣

1 hour ago, DiamondGirl said:

You can tell that they’re instructed to run into each other’s arms with the woman jumping with joy to wrap her legs around him, which I think is tacky.

It's sweet of you to make that sound like an opinion....but...don't worry FTFY

[nutella fitzgerald]

2 hours ago, Spike said:

Cheryl resembles a junkie scarecrow.  She could be a stick figure for Halloween.  Her legs look like pipe cleaners.

It was very prescient of Daniel to get that tattoo of her on his hand while he was in prison.

[Armchair Critic]

2 hours ago, DiamondGirl said:

You can tell that they’re instructed to run into each other’s arms with the woman jumping with joy to wrap her legs around him, which BTW I think is tacky.

That what we call "The Bachelor hug" over on that forum

[Farley]

Ewwwwww.  That's kind of all I got. What a nasty sad group of people. I showered after watching this, seriously.  I had a lovely dinner date at a Peruvian restaurant tonight with my hubby. Then, we came home and watched this, and now I'm scared to sleep for fear of nightmares.  I might need therapy because I sincerely cannot figure out why I can't stop watching this shitshow.  I think it might be because Tony is my hero. 'Thanks for the steak, and uh yeah I'll call ya soon, I'm sure they'll let me know in an hour or so when I can see ya again.'  

[cooksdelight]

Tony is the only one with any sense in this whacked-out bunch. It’s a good thing that televisions don’t emit smells because I am sure I would have gagged all night. 

Both Angela and Cheryl need braces. Or something. I noticed that Angela had photoshopped her photos she sent to Tony, because damn she looked rode hard and put away wet last night.

[hookedontv]

As many of y’all have said-Angela is one mess of a woman. Her jacked up teeth, wrinkled skin, tired eyes, bad hair, and her “2 packs a day” scratchy voice. What a fright indeed. Apparently she’s blind and deaf too because she can’t seem to understand that Tony is absolutely NOT into her. Tony is counting his blessings that living in a halfway house is a requirement of his release. 

Speaking of more stupid-oh Vincent. Your just released “fiancé” is a lesbian who is counting the days till her wifey Puppy is released. Talk about awkward. 

I forgot to ask last week-does anyone else think Cheryl’s mom looks like a banged up Debra Winger? 

The entire cast is foul. 

[Guest]

If I didn't know better, I'd swear that it was Vincent who had just gotten out of prison. He has that dead-behind-the-eyes look of someone just about to walk into a mall to shoot random people.

[dsteele]

Angela: "Hun, do you want a blowjob or a steak?"

Tony: (Testicles retract as he glances at sharp teeth jutting at weird angles) "Uhhh, I think I'll go with the steak."

[Persnickety1]

Well, kudos to the editing monkeys.

I need to watch this episode again, but they segued from the word "sexy" being used in another couple's scene...

Straight to a close up of Angela's bedraggled face driving that car.

As dim as Tony seems, I've gotta give the boy credit for evading Angela's advances.  Guess he probably had some mean survival skills in prison.

Loved it when Angela said their relationship wasn't about being physical, it was about a lot of things.  As she kept finding ways to turn the conversation towards having sex with him.  

Angela is the Danielle to Tony's Mohammad.  

This could get good.  😄 

[RealReality]

1 hour ago, hookedontv said:

The entire cast is foul. 

I'm 95% sure they are being paid in soup.

[Spike]

The chyron said that Tony is from Oregon.  If he has any sense he will try to get permission to finish his parole there through an interstate compact.  

Did Angela say that she hasn’t had sex in five years?  No wonder she is practically raping him.  Just go to a local watering hole and pick up your male equivalent.  I’m sure there are some even though I shudder to picture them. 

[RealReality]

38 minutes ago, Spike said:

The chyron said that Tony is from Oregon.  If he has any sense he will try to get permission to finish his parole there through an interstate compact.  

Did Angela say that she hasn’t had sex in five years?  No wonder she is practically raping him.  Just go to a local watering hole and pick up your male equivalent.  I’m sure there are some even though I shudder to picture them. 

It's Scott.  She needs to meet Scott, and help him out since he does giant spoon fulls of coke.  

He hasn't had sex in years either because Lizzie wasn't giving it up because she was a "born again virgin"

[hoosiermom]

Was Lacey wearing house slippers in the rain when she went to meet Shane? If not, they were dead ringers for house slippers. Also, she was complaining about how cold it was but didn’t even wear a jacket? Guess she didn’t want to cover up her skimpy clothing and hot bod. 🤮🙄

[hookedontv]

20 minutes ago, hoosiermom said:

Was Lacey wearing house slippers in the rain when she went to meet Shane? 

Yes, I believe they were slippers. Which is interesting because if I recall correctly, on last season, Andrea greeted Lamar in the street, wearing slippers as well. 

Waiting for your con must be rough on the feet...

[AZChristian]

6 minutes ago, hookedontv said:

Yes, I believe they were slippers. Which is interesting because if I recall correctly, on last season, Andrea greeted Lamar in the street, wearing slippers as well. 

Waiting for your con must be rough on the feet...

Well, all their real shoes have round heels.

[sempervivum]

Dim Sheryl has to explain to the camera that Josh's baggie contents wouldn't have any living swimmers. And this is who she wants to marry IMMEDIATELY? Josh is actually good looking, in a 1957 Lutheran youth minister kind of way.

Poor old Angie. Maybe Tony will take pity on her, at least once. 

The Lacey/John/Shane triangle has a lot of violence potential. John is insanely jealous and Shane committed serious injury to someone while still a teenager. 

Daniel's 'leaving prison' haircut is hilarious. His tattoos are really scary, and suggest a lot of self pity and a deep commitment to prison culture. Lizzie is no more interested in him than Amber is in Vincent, imo.

3 minutes ago, hookedontv said:

Yes, I believe they were slippers.

I think they're UGGs or something, and quite expensive. I've seen female rappers wearing them in public, and maybe even a Kardashian.

I'm warming up to this cast, but I think that's because Andrea (new Andrea) wasn't on this time.

[psychoticstate]

I'm not sure I even know what to say about this.

I have to imagine the server in the steak restaurant thought Tony had an unhealthy and abnormal close relationship with his mom when he or she saw the two of them sitting side by side.  I generally like Angela okay but girl, you absolutely must do something about your teeth.  She was so excited to be with Tony and so ready to jump him, it was embarrassing (and for a show that mentions jizz baggies, that says a lot.) 

So Cheryl pushed three human beings out of that body?  She needs to hit the Golden Corral buffet stat.  Her legs look as though they can barely support her body, much less in those heels. 

Vincent is in for heartbreak -- Amber is not into him at all.  I understand there being a certain level of awkwardness if you've never met face to face before but she's not talking to him at all.  She's more excited about her sister and her prison wife.

Daniel's tats terrify me.  I've never understood why anyone would want to tattoo their face.  You cannot cover that up and you will be discriminated against.  Unless he's going to work in a tattoo parlor, who would hire him?  I mean, the tattoos along with the prison record are going to make it very, very difficult for him.   So what has Lizzie been lying to Daniel about?  I guess you have to prove yourself to be a liar in order to be cast on this show?

Lacey.  Oy vey.  She's going to get herself shanked, either from her jailbird fiancé or newly-released in-prison-for-assault Shane.  She very obviously has shit taste in men.  Didn't she say her ex-husband is also in prison?  Maybe she should take her spray tan money and invest in a good counselor.  

Does Shane want to get laid with Lacey that badly that he really won't think twice about her pulling the car over, getting out and walking to the next county to take the call?  Honestly, there is no reason to do that unless you've got someone else.  Duh.  

So what is her end game?   Is she thinking she's going to bang Shane for the next couple of weeks until her fiancé is out and then dump Shane and pick up with him?  Where is Shane getting paroled to?  Because isn't the fiancé scheduled to be paroled to Lacey's house?  Holy crap, what a clusterfuck.  She's like the female Michael from last season but marginally more intelligent.  

I will say watching this program makes me feel infinitely better about my own life decisions.

[Spike]

36 minutes ago, hoosiermom said:

Was Lacey wearing house slippers in the rain when she went to meet Shane? If not, they were dead ringers for house slippers. Also, she was complaining about how cold it was but didn’t even wear a jacket? Guess she didn’t want to cover up her skimpy clothing and hot bod. 🤮🙄

She must have handed off her umbrella to production or tossed it because she was using it when he began running toward her then it was suddenly gone and then when they walked back to the car she didn’t pick it up or close it.

I could see where she would fear water as it would probably melt her.

6 minutes ago, sempervivum said:

Dim Sheryl has to explain to the camera that Josh's baggie contents wouldn't have any living swimmers. And this is who she wants to marry IMMEDIATELY? Josh is actually good looking, in a 1957 Lutheran youth minister kind of way.

Poor old Angie. Maybe Tony will take pity on her, at least once. 

The Lacey/John/Shane triangle has a lot of violence potential. John is insanely jealous and Shane committed serious injury to someone while still a teenager. 

Daniel's 'leaving prison' haircut is hilarious. His tattoos are really scary, and suggest a lot of self pity and a deep commitment to prison culture. Lizzie is no more interested in him than Amber is in Vincent, imo.

I think they're UGGs or something, and quite expensive. I've seen female rappers wearing them in public, and maybe even a Kardashian.

I'm warming up to this cast, but I think that's because Andrea (new Andrea) wasn't on this time.

I think if he had just jizzed in it there might be some viability.  I have heard athlete groupies will  fish a used condom out of the trash in an attempt to set up years of child support but that may be apocryphal.

[Spike]

9 minutes ago, sempervivum said:

Josh is actually good looking, in a 1957 Lutheran youth minister kind of way.

He reminds me of Teabag on Prison Break.  All calm and silver-tongued with sudden flare ups out of the blue.

11 minutes ago, sempervivum said:

Poor old Angie. Maybe Tony will take pity on her, at least once. 

Maybe he fears that even with his dry spell he may not be able to ahem perform with her.  That would be a shitshow.  

[Spike]

10 minutes ago, psychoticstate said:

Unless he's going to work in a tattoo parlor, who would hire him? 

I have seen it on fast food workers but that is a hard low-paying life.

11 minutes ago, psychoticstate said:

Lacey.  Oy vey.  She's going to get herself shanked, 

Luckily the silicone will bend the blade.

[Kangatush]

Turd burglar is not a loving nickname.  Turd burglar is what I would have called my brother in a fight when I was 8.  And then to double down with the jizz bag...  And why again with the road side sex?  Have a shower first.

I really like Amber.  I'd hang out with her.  I don't think she's a lesbian, I think she's a human willing to connect with someone she feels for, man or woman.  I think she had hopes for Vincent, until they actually met.  And holy fireball, pull the grill away from the dry wood deck first next time.

[Anonysaurus]

18 minutes ago, psychoticstate said:

Lacey.  Oy vey.  She's going to get herself shanked, either from her jailbird fiancé or newly-released in-prison-for-assault Shane. 

Lacey gets stabbed. Lacey slowly deflates. 

[Spike]

13 minutes ago, Kangatush said:

Turd burglar is not a loving nickname.  Turd burglar is what I would have called my brother in a fight when I was 8.  And then to double down with the jizz bag...  And why again with the road side sex?  Have a shower first.

I really like Amber.  I'd hang out with her.  I don't think she's a lesbian, I think she's a human willing to connect with someone she feels for, man or woman.  I think she had hopes for Vincent, until they actually met.  And holy fireball, pull the grill away from the dry wood deck first next time.

Did you see when he flipped the grill with his bare hands?  The coals were white hot so I assume that was unwise.

[Kangatush]

I was also confused when Amber said she wanted red meat, so Vincent bought pork and shrimp.