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Chris and Amy


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Several posts have been removed referring to Amy's new address. A reminder that linking to participants/casts/actors etc home addresses is against Primetimer rules

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Amy stop writing captions while you’re drunk on salon Chardonnay. It’s not a “chair,” sweetie. It’s actually a chair. If you’re sitting in a “chair” and “getting your beauty on” in front of a mirror, we can probably infer the rest. And the ellipses are looking a little unhinged. 

IstilllikeyoubetterthanMattKbye

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I'm sure there was some truth to the season finale when she said she wanted the buyout and planned to move off the farm. I'm sure logistics of a complete buyout delayed things a bit. Matt likes to spend his money, he probably didn't have enough to buy the entire thing outright.

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(edited)
41 minutes ago, readheaded said:

Apparently Amy spills the Matt and Caryn tea in her new book.  

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/06/little-people-big-world-amy-roloff-claims-ex-matt-inappropriate-photos-girlfriend-caryn-during-marriage/

Caryn needs to take several seats and keep her mouth shut.  Not a class act.

Absolutely NOTHING in the Radaronline article shocks me and really should explain so much to those who have always called Amy a bitch, said there was no proof of infidelity, thought that Caryn was a sweet and misunderstood gal, or couldn’t understand why Amy couldn’t just be “adult about the whole situation and move on.”  

It was all bound to come out sooner or later and I think Amy started off wanting to preserve the family’s dignity by not admitting she was cheated on by her husband and employee - a pretty nasty revelation.  But you can only take the fall for so long, with people thinking you are the bitch and just don’t want your husband and his new girlfriend to be happy.   She admits she handled it badly and that she bitched on camera instead of confronting Matt and Caryn behind the scenes.  If you expected to be married forever, this isn’t a situation you would necessarily know how to deal with.  I hope this makes the Amy naysayers give her a bit of a break  now that the truth is out there.

I guess we know now why none of Amy’s family are promoting her book.  With uncomfortable truths in the book, it would seem as though they were choosing sides if the kids mentioned her book.  And some may not approve of the truth coming out, because it sometimes hurts.  I’m looking at Auj here, who barely veils her distain for Amy, while keeping her nose firmly planted in Matt’s backside.  I guess that could work out for her though, because Matt is now in a better position to give her and Jer what they want (the farm business) now that Amy decided to sell out.

I hope the Radaronline article stimulates sales for Amy and that the book is a success.  It was probably a cathartic experience for her to get it all out there and I respect her even more for what she has overcome in her life and how she plans to keep “moving on.”  I think I’ll buy the book today myself!

Edited by HighlandWarriorGrl
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(edited)
34 minutes ago, HighlandWarriorGrl said:

I guess we know now why none of Amy’s family are promoting her book.  With uncomfortable truths in the book, it would seem as though they were choosing sides if the kids mentioned her book.  And some may not approve of the truth coming out, because it sometimes hurts.  I’m looking at Auj here, who barely veils her distain for Amy, while keeping her nose firmly planted in Matt’s backside.  I guess that could work out for her though, because Matt is now in a better position to give her and Jer what they want (the farm business) now that Amy decided to sell out.

It's also hard for the kids because they love both of their parents, and have to come to grips with one of them cheating on the other.  That would suck, for me anyway, and my family wasn't on TV.

Personally, I had the feeling things weren't right when Matt wouldn't allow Amy access to his office, bragged about how he was hiding stuff he bought from her (because if he's hiding that, what else is he hiding?) and when he'd bail on family vacations.  Just all bad signs in my eyes.

Edited by funky-rat
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Well, I think most of us knew that Matt and Caren are sleazy, backstabbing cheaters.

So glad Amy has come to terms with herself and her life after being punched in the gut like that.

Off to buy her book...

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4 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

It's gonna be a bit awkward at the next grandkid's birthday party. Wonder if Amy will even be invited...

I sure hope the kids don’t punish Amy for telling the truth.  After what she has been through, it would be a real kick in the teeth for her kids to turn on her.  After all, she was the wronged person in this scenario.  What does Matt (and Caryn) get for his part, a prize and a pat on the back?  Oh well, who’s to say the kids don’t already know?  I can’t see writing a book like this and not telling at least the kids what is in it before it is published.  I don’t see Amy blind siding them like that.  She has been sparing their feelings all this time so I just don’t see her capable of that kind of move.  If they do know, it hasn’t seemed to influence their relationship with their dad one way or the other, so why should it change the way they interact with Amy?

For any of you that follow Matt on Instagram, has Matt mentioned this at all or refuted Amy’s claims?  How about Caryn?  I’m just curious to see how they will be handling the spin or damage control.

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Amy just can't seem to enjoy her happy relationship with her new love and let go of the past without wallowing in self-pity. With no regard to her children, she has to dredge up intimate details about her marriage and put it in a book,  just to sock it to Matt. Anyone who watched the earliest episodes is quite familiar with her mean streak. Now we see her vindictive side. No wonder the kids are more comfortable around Matt and Caryn than with their own mother.

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9 hours ago, Jenny8 said:

Amy just can't seem to enjoy her happy relationship with her new love and let go of the past without wallowing in self-pity. With no regard to her children, she has to dredge up intimate details about her marriage and put it in a book,  just to sock it to Matt. Anyone who watched the earliest episodes is quite familiar with her mean streak. Now we see her vindictive side. No wonder the kids are more comfortable around Matt and Caryn than with their own mother.

As mean and hateful as Matt's fans on social media are with regard to Amy (and he does little to quell it), I'm glad she did what she did.  Not that some of them will believe her, but if I were in her shoes, I'd do the same thing.  And I think she handled it well - at least what was quoted in the article.  IF what's in her book is written as what is quoted in the article, I don't see intimate dirty details posted there.  Just essentially "He cheated.  He denied it but I saw proof.  It went on a long time.  I didn't handle myself as well as I could have, but I'm trying to move on".  It is acceptable to leave a marriage because of infidelity - even the Bible says it's OK.  But now I just suspect a bunch of "Well, she drove him to it" comments come out.  Sure...don't blame the cheater.  He could have just left instead of straying...….

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From the Radar article it sounds like Amy claims that she suspects that Matt and Caryn had something going on due to her interpretation of various texts, photos, etc. .....like what?  They worked together, so, I'm not sure if I would consider them communicating as real proof of adultery.  And, Amy was a total witch to Matt from the very beginning of this show.  Long before they even had the pumpkin farm and long before Caryn was around.   So, to use that excuse to be a witch is ridiculous. 

It sounds to me that what Amy observed with Matt and Caryn was an "emotional affair." which is just as serious,( perhaps, not legally,) as a physical affair.  That happens in marriages when one party is not invested in the marriage any longer and is not right at all. Even though Amy was a total witch and verbally abusive, it still doesn't justify being unfaithful....emotionally or physically.  

 But, I fail to see how making unsubstantiated allegations about your ex and his future wife, who the family loves and admires, is going to help anything.  I hope it makes Amy feel better, because, I don't think it will impress anyone in her family. In fact, I think it may burn some bridges. 

 Also, I think it shows a true DESIRE FOR PAY BACK  and I don't think that will set well with Chris.  Amy may have shot herself in the foot with this one.  

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The quoted blurb says messages, pictures, and other things that wouldn't be shared between co-workers. So for now, I am assuming there was more there than just text messages.  I have no issue changing my stance if I find out otherwise.

I'm not normally one for tell-all stuff, but in this case, with all the crap she's gotten, I would put it out in as tactful a way as I could to try to shut people up.  I don't see Chris holding it against her - he said he's been cheated on.

And agreeing with you on that no matter how much of a witch your wife is to you, you don't cheat.  You can leave, citing differences, but cheating - for years - is not cool.  Ever.

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14 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

But, I fail to see how making unsubstantiated allegations about your ex and his future wife, who the family loves and admires, is going to help anything.  I hope it makes Amy feel better, because, I don't think it will impress anyone in her family. In fact, I think it may burn some bridges. 

 Also, I think it shows a true DESIRE FOR PAY BACK  and I don't think that will set well with Chris.  Amy may have shot herself in the foot with this one.  

Agreed. I completely believe Amy's allegations, but I don't see how airing them publicly helps anyone move forward.

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I don’t blame Amy for telling her side of the story in her book. The “kids” are all adults, and I’m sure that they were well aware of Matt’s and Caryn’s “ closeness” before the divorce. I don’t think they were surprised by any revelations. Even though I have not read the book, it doesn’t seem as if Amy wrote anything that even we as outside viewers didn’t surmise.

IMO, if you cheat, you don’t deserve to have it sugar- coated or covered up by others who were affected. Moving forward shouldn’t mean one has to swallow/ hide their feelings and scurry away with their head down. YMMV

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I'm torn on these public revelations - Caryn & Matt are scum, & I totally understand Amy's hurt, as well as her wanting to clear up her behavior since she was getting so much crap for it. But I do feel sorry for the kids (even though adults), as this whole situation that they've had to live with & is so public must be very hard on them too.

15 hours ago, HighlandWarriorGrl said:

I sure hope the kids don’t punish Amy for telling the truth.  After what she has been through, it would be a real kick in the teeth for her kids to turn on her.  After all, she was the wronged person in this scenario.  

I hope they wouldn't do that either. No matter what, though, both are their parents & it has to be a difficult situation for all.

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I wonder if Amy realizes that her book will do nothing to change the family's feelings about Matt and Caryn, BUT, may change their opinion of Amy.  No doubt, the adult kids already knew all of this stuff long ago, if Amy has been stewing about it. 

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I just read an article from In Touch online...Amy reveals that she found out that Matt and Caryn were having an affair when she saw some photos and messages that they had sent each other that were not farm business related but rather personal and intimate. She was crushed and emotionally distraught.

How those kids can be friendly to Matt and especially to home wrecker Caryn is beyond me. These two deserve each other...both cheated on their spouses and deceived their families. Matt disgusts me more than ever.

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13 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I fail to see how making unsubstantiated allegations about your ex and his future wife, who the family loves and admires, is going to help anything.  I hope it makes Amy feel better, because, I don't think it will impress anyone in her family. In fact, I think it may burn some bridges. 

 Also, I think it shows a true DESIRE FOR PAY BACK  and I don't think that will set well with Chris.  Amy may have shot herself in the foot with this one.  

First, if the family admires Caryn, they deserve every bit of whatever they're going to end up feeling when they realize Caryn's all about the benjamins and Matt is as selfish as he's ever been.

Seriously. If those kids do hold Caryn in high regard and are truly as dismissive to their mother as we see on the show, Amy deserves to pull up stakes, live wherever, travel with Chris, and somehow try to manage the hurt that she is absolutely, positively allowed to feel.

I'm once again stunned by the double standard being expressed about Amy's right to tell her story. Let me get this straight. Matt cheated ... but Amy's at fault for talking about it? In what universe does that make sense?

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On 6/18/2019 at 10:43 PM, Jenny8 said:

Amy just can't seem to enjoy her happy relationship with her new love and let go of the past without wallowing in self-pity. With no regard to her children, she has to dredge up intimate details about her marriage and put it in a book,  just to sock it to Matt. Anyone who watched the earliest episodes is quite familiar with her mean streak. Now we see her vindictive side. No wonder the kids are more comfortable around Matt and Caryn than with their own mother.

Matt and Caryn cheated. Amy has the right to tell her story. And to be honest, I wouldn't worry about her regard for her children -- two of whom, at least, aren't demonstrating a whole lot of loyalty to the parent who raised them while the other parent was sleeping in, racking up DUIs, leaving family vacations early, and generally cultivating a life in which his family was clearly secondary to his own needs.

I'm sorry, but any desire to protect Matt and Caryn's feelings is, at this point, entirely unwarranted. As I said in another post, it's a double standard that is troubling from all kinds of perspectives. They had the right to make the decision to cheat -- but life is a series of choices and consequences, and Amy has the right to make the decision to air her feelings about those choices.

Don't want your laundry aired? Don't dirty it. 

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(edited)

I once saw a psychiatrist about a family situation and he told me "protecting the kids" from it by covering up for the offending party was the absolute wrong thing to do.  He said they more than likely know already and will have more bad thoughts about you trying to hide it than if you are honest and straight forward.  I know that was true for me when my mother tried to pretend my father wasn't cheating on her and I found the condoms in his car after she'd had her tubes tied.  Not to mention when she tried to gloss over his other selfish and abusive behaviors.  As a child I'd have rather she'd have dragged him over the coals than made excuses for him.  So there is that side also.  She later told me the pediatrician told her it was a mistake to try to make nice and pretend all was well when even the 8 year old could see all was not well. 

Based on that I would see Amy as making a mistake if she didn't honestly grapple with the hurt and rejection and tried to pretend it never happened.  I wouldn't publish it to the world, but that's her choice and perhaps since it was aired for the world, she has a point in putting her point of view out there.

Edited by Absolom
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2 minutes ago, Absolom said:

I once saw a psychiatrist about a family situation and he told me "protecting the kids" from it by covering up for the offending party was the absolute wrong thing to do.  He said they more than likely know already and will have more bad thoughts about you trying to hide it than if you are honest and straight forward.  I know that was true for me when my mother tried to pretend my father wasn't cheating on her and I found the condoms in his car after she'd had her tubes tied.  Not to mention when she tried to gloss over his other selfish and abusive behaviors.  As a child I'd have rather she'd have dragged him over the coals than made excuses for him.  So there is that side also.  She later told me the pediatrician told her it was a mistake to try to make nice and pretend all was well when even the 8 year old could see all was not well. 

Based on that I would see Amy as making a mistake if she didn't honestly grapple with the hurt and rejection and tried to pretend it never happened.  I wouldn't publish it to the world, but that's her choice and perhaps since it was aired for the world, she has a point in putting her point of view out there.

This all makes so much sense, and is such wise advice. Thank you for sharing it.

The issue is the cheating, not the reaction to the cheating.

IMO, Matt established some pretty toxic behaviors early on, and his family members seem to have have spent years trying to cope within a Matt-centric framework that's included a fair amount of dishonesty. (Money issues, likely alcohol abuse, and obviously infidelity, for starters.) Amy is clearly done enabling that toxicity; perhaps she realizes that honesty is central to her healing process. She owes that to herself.

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5 hours ago, Literata said:

First, if the family admires Caryn, they deserve every bit of whatever they're going to end up feeling when they realize Caryn's all about the benjamins and Matt is as selfish as he's ever been.

Seriously. If those kids do hold Caryn in high regard and are truly as dismissive to their mother as we see on the show, Amy deserves to pull up stakes, live wherever, travel with Chris, and somehow try to manage the hurt that she is absolutely, positively allowed to feel.

I'm once again stunned by the double standard being expressed about Amy's right to tell her story. Let me get this straight. Matt cheated ... but Amy's at fault for talking about it? In what universe does that make sense?

I never understand why the messenger is blamed more than the actual wrongdoer.  

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Many times in divorce, children take sides. It may be surprising, but many “side” with the parent who from the outside, looks like the bad guy.

It can be similar to a child appearing  closest to what turns out to have been an abusive parent, IMO. 

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And it's possible that the kids also harbor resentment to Amy for the verbal and emotional abuse that she directed at Matt for all those years. For years before he knew Caryn.   It doesn't justify,it IF he did stray, but, Amy is not perfect either.  Divorce issues are often complex and rarely is one party who holds no responsibility in the breakdown. I wonder if Matt and Caryn will respond to Amy's accusation.  It seems that she stopped short of saying that they did have a physical affair though.  Perhaps, she's concerned they may go after her for lying.  

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2 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Many times in divorce, children take sides. It may be surprising, but many “side” with the parent who from the outside, looks like the bad guy.

It can be similar to a child appearing  closest to what turns out to have been an abusive parent, IMO. 

Yes, because the one who is seen as the "bad guy" by adults is often seen as the "fun guy" by the kids.  Saw this happen more than a few times in my husband's family.  Many times, when the kids become adults, they change their tunes because they understand at an older age, but not always.

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9 hours ago, Literata said:

Matt and Caryn cheated. Amy has the right to tell her story. And to be honest, I wouldn't worry about her regard for her children -- two of whom, at least, aren't demonstrating a whole lot of loyalty to the parent who raised them while the other parent was sleeping in, racking up DUIs, leaving family vacations early, and generally cultivating a life in which his family was clearly secondary to his own needs.

Don't want your laundry aired? Don't dirty it. 

Some of me wonders if Matt and or Caryn is planning or in the stages of putting out their own book, and she wanted to get her word in and try to silence her critics (which likely won't happen - I die a little every time I hear someone who says that people should let up on Josh Duggar because he was "just a curious teen", and shouldn't be taken to task for molesting his sisters).  Just something I'm wondering.  I've heard nothing as of yet, but this would make sense.

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1 hour ago, funky-rat said:

Some of me wonders if Matt and or Caryn is planning or in the stages of putting out their own book, and she wanted to get her word in and try to silence her critics (which likely won't happen -

I so hope this won't become the 'battle of the books'. I'm not buying any of them - but I do feel badly for Amy & the kids the most, & glad Amy has a better future now. I could care less about any humiliation Matt & Caryn suffer because they brought it on themselves. Somehow I doubt it's affected them though; people like that stand strong regardless, unfortunately.

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19 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

I so hope this won't become the 'battle of the books'. I'm not buying any of them - but I do feel badly for Amy & the kids the most, & glad Amy has a better future now. I could care less about any humiliation Matt & Caryn suffer because they brought it on themselves. Somehow I doubt it's affected them though; people like that stand strong regardless, unfortunately.

Agreed on all points.  It was just one of those thoughts that rattles around in my head.

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(edited)

The more confused I become about possible reasons for the dogged defense of Matt and Caryn, the more I think about the comparison @funky-rat made above regarding Josh Duggar. I'm not a fundamentalist Christian, so I'm only hypothesizing here -- but it seems that in patriarchal circles, it's upsetting to the entire ecosystem when anyone criticizes the "head of the household." Even if he's clearly wrong, women defend him because it's too upsetting to think that the hierarchy could be pretty messed up, and the guy who's supposed to be in charge isn't qualified to lead anybody. 

What I don't see anyone responding to, ever, are these points:

  • In the early part of the series, Matt worked outside the home, but so did Amy. Yet Amy seemed to have sole responsibility for the upkeep/cleanliness of the home.
  • When Matt wasn't working outside the home, he slept in (consistently, not just a one-time thing) while Amy had sole morning responsibility for four school-age kids. It sticks with me that he normally rose at 9:30 -- understandable if you're working late hours; lazy and selfish when you have four kids and no outside-the-home job.
  • Matt left vacations early, with no easily explained reason.
  • Matt was arrested for DUI, twice.
  • Matt admitted to missing soccer games because they bored him.
  • Matt came pretty close to missing the boys' graduation -- I can't recall why, but I don't think the reason had a lot of legitimacy.

Can you imagine this conversation if Amy had conducted herself that way?

Sure, Matt planned and supervised the building of the farm's attractions -- but one of them almost killed his son and an employee. Matt was pretty good at being the "fun dad" -- when he wanted to be. But most of the time, he was about Matt, while Amy was the hands-on parent. 

Why the canonization of Matt and the vilification of Amy -- not just here, but on social media in general? Is it sexism? The fundamentalism thing? I genuinely want to understand.

Edited by Literata
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On 6/20/2019 at 2:54 PM, Literata said:

The more confused I become about possible reasons for the dogged defense of Matt and Caryn, the more I think about the comparison @funky-rat made above regarding Josh Duggar. I'm not a fundamentalist Christian, so I'm only hypothesizing here -- but it seems that in patriarchal circles, it's upsetting to the entire ecosystem when anyone criticizes the "head of the household." Even if he's clearly wrong, women defend him because it's too upsetting to think that the hierarchy could be pretty messed up, and the guy who's supposed to be in charge isn't qualified to lead anybody. 

What I don't see anyone responding to, ever, are these points:

  • In the early part of the series, Matt worked outside the home, but so did Amy. Yet Amy seemed to have sole responsibility for the upkeep/cleanliness of the home.
  • When Matt wasn't working outside the home, he slept in (consistently, not just a one-time thing) while Amy had sole morning responsibility for four school-age kids. It sticks with me that he normally rose at 9:30 -- understandable if you're working late hours; lazy and selfish when you have four kids and no outside-the-home job.
  • Matt left vacations early, with no easily explained reason.
  • Matt was arrested for DUI, twice.
  • Matt admitted to missing soccer games because they bored him.
  • Matt came pretty close to missing the boys' graduation -- I can't recall why, but I don't think the reason had a lot of legitimacy.

Can you imagine this conversation if Amy had conducted herself that way?

Sure, Matt planned and supervised the building of the farm's attractions -- but one of them almost killed his son and an employee. Matt was pretty good at being the "fun dad" -- when he wanted to be. But most of the time, he was about Matt, while Amy was the hands-on parent. 

Why the canonization of Matt and the vilification of Amy -- not just here, but on social media in general? Is it sexism? The fundamentalism thing? I genuinely want to understand.

I'll never understand it.  And let me be clear:  I don't believe what Matt did and what Josh Duggar did to be even close to on the same plane.  I was just using it as an example that some people will chastise a woman (or a man they don't believe is as moral or Christian as they are) for one thing, but completely give a man (or someone they believe is a "good Christian") a pass on the same thing.  Some will blame a woman for their man cheating, but not the man, stating that the woman was sour, or didn't give the man what he was after, so he had to look somewhere else.  I see lots of Amy being labelled as a sourpuss, mean, harpie, and some rude comments about her personal appearance, but little of that being lobbed at Matt on social media.  In fact, when people on social media mention Matt cheating, the response is almost always "Proof?".  Amy herself has said it, but that still won't be good enough for them.  They'll say she's lying.

I have a friend who is a Christian In Name Only (when it suits her, and her opinions) who has young girls about the same age as the Duggar girls when they were hurt by their brother.  She loves to lob around memes about how anyone who would mess with her kids would get a bullet, but when the Josh scandal broke, she suddenly became all "I don't judge.  It's between them and God.  He was just a curious teen.  Their family has forgiven him, so it's none of my business".  There is NO DIFFERENCE between those they decry and that situation, except their perception that this is some religious thing, and no amount of me pointing out the hypocrisy would get them to see it - they absolutely DO judge, when the situation suits them.  This same woman tried to have a kid arrested who she thought was having inappropriate conversations with her daughter online (it wasn't - and it was done through a supervised channel, so someone would have caught it if it was).

I see the same crap with Matt and Amy.  I stopped following them on social media long ago because I couldn't deal with the commentary that chastises one and holds the other one blameless when in reality, there's enough blame to go around.  I get tired of people saying Caryn is awesome and caring to Matt, and then saying Chris is disgusting for wanting to be with Amy.  I don't hate Matt.  I don't even hate Caryn - I don't even know them personally (although I did deal with Matt and someone from the show's production company a few years ago at my job).  Initially, I liked Matt more than Amy, but Matt lost me with his actions slowly over the years.  No amount of Amy being cranky with Matt, Amy not being a good housekeeper, or any other situation brought up will excuse him cheating on her.  

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1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

Isabel’s mother passed away a few years ago, she had breast cancer. She probably would have attended, also.

Sorry to hear that. Just looks odd, a younger crowd & then... Amy- no grands, aunts, older cuz, etc.

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(edited)

I hope they filmed the LPA conference. I used to enjoy seeing those segments.  Recall how Matt wanted Zack to meet a mate there? lol  And he ends up with a non little person.   And, so does Matt AND AMY! 

Edited by SunnyBeBe
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On 7/1/2019 at 12:55 PM, SunnyBeBe said:

I hope they filmed the LPA conference. I used to enjoy seeing those segments.  Recall how Matt wanted Zack to meet a mate there? lol  And he ends up with a non little person.   And, so does Matt AND AMY! 

Ha yes. I 100% understand Matt wanting the LPA meetings to be a chance for Zach to meet other LP though. 

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Message added by Scarlett45

Several posts have been removed referring to Amy's new address. A reminder that linking to participants/casts/actors etc home addresses is against Primetimer rules

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