S08.E04: Strangers in Paradise

[aphroditewitch]

7 hours ago, Sterling said:

While I think Kate is a really pretty girl, I do think a more updated, less 80's Farrah Fawcett wings cut would flatter her.  I found her wedding dress too matronly, but when I see the other clothes she wears, it's all the same style:  large, shapeless tops and dresses.  She dresses like she weighs 300 lbs., which she does not.  I do agree that her voice is really difficult to hear.

 

I think Kate is someone who doesn't know how to dress for her body most of the time. It doesn't help that a lot of boxy tops are being pushed by stored right now.  I liked her wedding dress and thought it was the best of the four dresses this season. IMO, there was nothing matronly about it and is the best thing she has worn on the show so far. Her voice doesn't both me, I find Luke's voice far more grating. 

[lezlers]

On ‎1‎/‎16‎/‎2019 at 7:19 AM, aphroditewitch said:

Except it is on them. It is pretty easy to tell if someone is a smoker. If they are a chain smoker, you will smell it on them. And even a casual smoker is going to answer questions in a certain way. And the way Dr. Pepper digs through drawers and everything, she should have picked up on that.

 

She said she only smokes sometimes when she's out with friends at night.  I'm guessing when she's drinking.  People are acting like she smokes every day.  I don't think someone who only smokes a cig when they're out at night drinking with friends qualifies as "a smoker."  If you don't carry around a pack with you, never buy them and obviously aren't addicted to them, you're not a smoker in my opinion. That's like calling someone who takes a couple of hits off a joint at a party a "stoner."   

On ‎1‎/‎16‎/‎2019 at 7:23 AM, Crazy Bird Lady said:

I can think of a reason why Kate didn't want to shower that night. She had absolutely no reason to be "into" Luke, since he's such a douche --and showering involves taking off all your clothes, wrapping yourself up in just a towel, and then (usually) switching to night clothes. Kate might only have brought sexy nighties, since it was her "honeymoon"!

I did notice, later on, that Kate was wearing "Granny nightpants". I wonder where they came from? They certainly didn't look like anything a woman would take along to Costa Rica with a man!

Something my aunt used to say that always cracked me up: "sometimes you just don't wanna get wet."  I was exhausted after my wedding.  It's a long ass day.  The last thing I wanted to do was shower when we finally got to our room.

Edited January 20, 2019 by lezlers

[lezlers]

On ‎1‎/‎16‎/‎2019 at 10:44 AM, bichonblitz said:

I could be wrong but I thought Jasmine asked him if he intended on paying the mortgage and he scoffed at that? 

I also think it depends on what the incomes of the couple is. I'm just throwing numbers out here but let's say one earns $150,000 per year and the other earns $40,000 per year. Should everything be split 50/50 then? That is a huge factor and they need to work out a plan of the financial responsibilities and incorporate cooking, cleaning, shopping in to that. If their income is close to the same amount then they should split the bills 50/50.  

Regarding Kate, maybe she smokes much more than the occasional social cig. Maybe she's lying about that and is a regular pack a day person. The preview shows how upset she is that Lukewarm told her he was repulsed by kissing her so it's possible he felt that kissing her is like kissing an ashtray? I guess we will find out next week. If he said such a cruel thing he better have a good explanation for it! Wasn't there a big deal made out of a couple a few season's ago when the wife found out the husband smoked, she didn't know about his smoking, then it and she was totally turned off by it? I think she was a flight attendant or something like that.  I don't remember their names. 

I don't get why people don't just put all of their money into a communal pot (the household income) and pay all bills out of that?  Seems like it would avoid the need to nickel and dime stuff.  That's what my husband and I have always done and money isn't an issue.   At some points in our marriage I out earned him.  Now we're about equal.  It's never made a difference with respect to bill paying because it's all coming from one place.

Seems like a damn simple solution to me.

[aphroditewitch]

2 hours ago, lids said:

I find it interest that Kristine is the gym rat but she’s not very toned. Stephanie is more toned than Kris and Steph doesn’t talk about the gym every 5 minutes.

 

Kristine probably does primarily cardio. Some women are afraid to do too much strength training because they have an incorrect assumption that it will make them look body-builder muscular instead of just toned.  

[IvySpice]

I don't blame Kate for Luke's lack of interest, but IMHO, there's no excuse for wearing a frumpy nightdress on your wedding night. I've been married for years, but if a film crew was going to tape us in bed together on an ordinary night, I'd still wear something prettier.

[Jeanne222]

I wonder why Luke even went through with the wedding?  It was clear from the moment he laid eyes on her he was out!

I wonder if there isn't more  to this story???

[aphroditewitch]

46 minutes ago, IvySpice said:

I don't blame Kate for Luke's lack of interest, but IMHO, there's no excuse for wearing a frumpy nightdress on your wedding night. I've been married for years, but if a film crew was going to tape us in bed together on an ordinary night, I'd still wear something prettier.

Kate might have worn something better if he hadn't been such a jerk during the clinking glasses moment at the reception and then his attempt to sleep on the couch. 

[Marsh]

12 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

I wonder why Luke even went through with the wedding?  It was clear from the moment he laid eyes on her he was out!

I wonder if there isn't more  to this story???

For fame.  Puke wanted to be a Z-list celebrity to expand his business.

And it will probably work.  80% of people that watch the show hate him, but there's still that 20%.  And people that never heard of him will have a neutral opinion of him. 

Now he can advertise like this: "Puke's Dating Service - Featuring a former cast member from TV's Married at First Sight!" (Hope you've never seen the show)

[humbleopinion]

 Being a MAFS villain?...winning!

Puke will ride whatever fame he can from this basic cable show...

Do not think he planned to be a bag of dicks on camera but he is incapable of being a gentleman and went down the path of boorish behavior with no regard for Kate's feelings.

He is too much of a fame ho to pull the plug so he decided to make it obvious of his displeasure by punishing Kate verbally with calling her out on any comments she dared make....

Sloths..why aren't you super stoked about sloths?

What is the matter with you, Kate...how are you so uncool to not be into sloths? Sloths love me...not you....

Toothpaste...is that all you brought for the whole trip?

How can you be so unprepared by bringing a small tube of tooth paste?   Hey, asshat...Kate can go buy more toothpaste at the gift shop....

Kate, you choose eggs and bacon for breakfast?

Hipsters like to eat plain yogurt with fruit...you are so uncool to not eat clean....is that a carb?...let me nitpick at you all day.....

Edited January 21, 2019 by humbleopinion

[lezlers]

On ‎1‎/‎16‎/‎2019 at 7:10 PM, lids said:

I never understand why if a man is less comfortable around women, people call him gay. (I see this in The Bachelor forum too because Colton is a virgin and seems shy.) My gay male friends are VERY good with women. If they were on that trip with Kate, they’d be laughing it up, helping her pick out outfits and talking about how much they’re enjoying the free food. They’re also super affectionate, probably because they don’t view all affection as being sexual, especially when it’s with the opposite sex. I know all gay men aren’t the same, but if Luke was a gay man trying to stay in the closet, he’d be doing a much better job. If anything I would characterize Luke as more of a person who hates/resents women and that’s coming off more heterosexual to me. Maybe in the past he slept/was vulnerable with a woman he really liked and she dissed him and now he’s gun shy. Maybe Kate reminds him of the type of woman that would find him lacking. 

Jasmine can’t do authentic tousled hair for fear her wefts would show. She’s such a cute mess to me. Everything she does is just a little bit awkward. She seems like she could really be someone’s wife already.

I'm not getting the gay vibe either, I'm not sure where everyone is getting that from.  I'm getting the insufferable hipster who thinks he's better than his match vibe.

[scruffy73]

15 hours ago, lezlers said:

I don't get why people don't just put all of their money into a communal pot (the household income) and pay all bills out of that?  Seems like it would avoid the need to nickel and dime stuff.  That's what my husband and I have always done and money isn't an issue.   At some points in our marriage I out earned him.  Now we're about equal.  It's never made a difference with respect to bill paying because it's all coming from one place.

Seems like a damn simple solution to me.

You and your husband must have similar values around money. When one spouse has a “spend what’s left after bills” mindset, without any understanding that saving is required, you don’t give them access to all the family money. When you are married to a gambler, you don’t give them access to the family money. There are more reasons why you don’t dump all the money in one pot and pay everything out of it.

 

Switching gears - I am bothered by so many criticisms about Jas showing her arms. Just because YOU wouldn’t do it doesn’t mean SHE should be embarrassed by HER body and cover up. Not all thick women are embarrassed by their bodies. Not all thick women feel the need to cover their bodies. Not all thick women want to be slim. Hell, some slim women want to be thicker. Maybe only black people feel like being thick is a good thing but when I saw Jas’s curvy body in that wedding dress, I said “dammmmmmnnnn” bc she was sexy as hell. And I’m a straight woman. 

[aphroditewitch]

Something I did not notice initially and only  saw after watching a YouTube video discussing the episode is that Luke had his wedding ring on his middle finger during the scene where he and Kate are talking about him not kissing her yet. That just adds a whole new level to how he has behaved. I'll link the video where it was discussed below, it is mentioned around the 10:30 mark. 

 

Luke wedding ring

[scruffy73]

4 hours ago, aphroditewitch said:

Something I did not notice initially and only  saw after watching a YouTube video discussing the episode is that Luke had his wedding ring on his middle finger during the scene where he and Kate are talking about him not kissing her yet. That just adds a whole new level to how he has behaved. I'll link the video where it was discussed below, it is mentioned around the 10:30 mark. 

 

Luke wedding ring

Maybe it didn’t fit his ring finger.

also, a friend of mine intentionally wears his ring on his middle finger. He is very, VERY odd so there is that.

[watchingtvaddict]

I wonder if Luke saw Kate smoking at the speed dating event and also saw how she behaved around other men. That might have put him off her. He should have probably pulled out of the wedding as soon as he realised who she was... I also think her forgetting they'd met before put him off. He probably thinks of himself as a fixture in the scene and believes he is more important than he really is. 

[ChiCricket]

On 1/15/2019 at 8:11 PM, LennieBriscoe said:

I will never understand the "brushing teeth with another person" thing. Who wants to see someone floss?!

 I can't even stand to watch someone else brush or floss (and spit) on TV. 🤢

[Gem 10]

11 hours ago, aphroditewitch said:

Something I did not notice initially and only  saw after watching a YouTube video discussing the episode is that Luke had his wedding ring on his middle finger during the scene where he and Kate are talking about him not kissing her yet. That just adds a whole new level to how he has behaved. I'll link the video where it was discussed below, it is mentioned around the 10:30 mark. 

 

Luke wedding ring

I have worn my wedding ring on my middle finger only because I feel it’s too loose on the ring finger and I might lose it. Luke’s was probably too big.  I’ve already had mine sized once and that’s enough.  My husband has never worn his wedding ring and that’s fine with me.  I’ve seen men in the office wearing rings and they had girlfriends on the side, so a ring doesn’t mean didly squat.  If a mans gonna cheat, he will with or without a ring.

Edited January 21, 2019 by Gem 10

[ChiCricket]

On 1/15/2019 at 10:03 PM, endure said:

Does Unfiltered come on after the show?  I don’t believe I’ve seen it but I’m in Canada so maybe we don’t get it?

It's hit and miss for my dvr to find and record it here in Chicago too!

[2727]

2 hours ago, watchingtvaddict said:

He should have probably pulled out of the wedding as soon as he realised who she was.

The fact that he realized who she was, knew he wasn't a fan, and didn't stop the ceremony tells me everything I need to know about this nimrod. Zero concern or compassion for Kate, his own potential unhappiness, or his mother's emotional anguish. Famewhoring über alles!

[Gem 10]

6 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

It's hit and miss for my dvr to find and record it here in Chicago too!

Here on the east coast, unfiltered comes on one half hour before the new episode.  Lately, Jamie comes on again after the regular show too.  Something new I guess.  Last weeks combined was almost three hours between everything.

[ChiCricket]

On 1/16/2019 at 9:00 AM, Empress1 said:

I KNOW. I wonder if they won't grow back? My best friend fills in her brows because she over-plucked hers in high school and they never grew back. They're really not flattering on Stephanie.

I don't think jailhouse eyebrows are flattering on anybody.

[ChiCricket]

On 1/16/2019 at 7:14 AM, ShowFan said:

I’m absolutely disgusted to find out that Kate is a smoker. I’d have never thought. I wouldn’t want to kiss her either if I were Luke!

I really like Kate, but I can't stand smoking. It would be a deal breaker for me too. And I'm sure it's just just psychological , because now we know she smokes, but even her voice sounds phlegmy to me. 

Edited January 22, 2019 by ChiCricket

[ChiCricket]

On 1/18/2019 at 3:11 AM, Carolynne said:

But why wasn't Kate more excited about animals? They were so cute!

 Maybe she hates zoos and they edited that part out? I have a vegan niece who wouldn't go into a zoo if you paid her a million dollars. Just a thought.

[LennieBriscoe]

It couldn't have been easy for new bride Kate,  playing second fiddle to a sloth. 

Kind of an ironic interest for a man who runs a SPEED-dating biz.   

[Gem 10]

9 hours ago, 2727 said:

The fact that he realized who she was, knew he wasn't a fan, and didn't stop the ceremony tells me everything I need to know about this nimrod. Zero concern or compassion for Kate, his own potential unhappiness, or his mother's emotional anguish. Famewhoring über alles!

He looked like he was very close to the Mother.  She probably feels horrible thru this, unless he told her he is doing this charade for the money and to promote his business.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

8 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

I really liked Kate, but I can't stand smoking. It world be a deal breaker for me too. And I'm sure it's just just psychological , because now we know she smokes, but even her voice sounds phlegmy to me now. 

I understand. But smoking isn't a "deal breaker" for everyone, and (just going by the short discussion we saw on TV) it wasn't a really big deal for Luke, either.  

I'm pretty sure that, if Luke had gone directly to the producers and told them Kate had lied about being a smoker and he did *not* want to be with a smoker, and thrown a big fit about it --Luke would have been offered a "get out of this marriage free" card. [They probably would have treated it as if she had felony warrants out there for her arrest that she "forgot" to mention.]  

Instead, Luke smirked, apparently pleased to have something else he could criticize Kate for. 

Perhaps he's "saving" it for later, in case he wants to end the marriage and have everything be blamed on Kate...

Edited January 21, 2019 by Crazy Bird Lady
forgot something

[aphroditewitch]

32 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

I understand. But smoking isn't a "deal breaker" for everyone, and (just going by the short discussion we saw on TV) it wasn't a really big deal for Luke, either.  

I'm pretty sure that, if Luke had gone directly to the producers and told them Kate had lied about being a smoker and he did *not* want to be with a smoker, and thrown a big fit about it --Luke would have been offered a "get out of this marriage free" card. [They probably would have treated it as if she had felony warrants out there for her arrest that she "forgot" to mention.]  

Instead, Luke smirked, apparently pleased to have something else he could criticize Kate for. 

Perhaps he's "saving" it for later, in case he wants to end the marriage and have everything be blamed on Kate...

But saving it for later only really works if Kate continued to smoke. If she did indeed stop the way she said she would, then he has no real argument. Throwing something in a person's face if they no longer do the offending behavior would just make him look like a bigger jerk than he already is. Luke just likes to pick at people. He may have dated WOC in the past but how long did those relationships last because that constant picking would irritate even the nicest person. 

[gonecrackers]

11 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

Here on the east coast, unfiltered comes on one half hour before the new episode.  Lately, Jamie comes on again after the regular show too.  Something new I guess.  Last weeks combined was almost three hours between everything.

I wish they'd drop that ask the 'experts' show (because really?). It would make the night at least a little bit shorter.

[LuvMyShows]

On 1/19/2019 at 7:14 PM, lezlers said:

She said she only smokes sometimes when she's out with friends at night.  I'm guessing when she's drinking.  People are acting like she smokes every day.  I don't think someone who only smokes a cig when they're out at night drinking with friends qualifies as "a smoker."  If you don't carry around a pack with you, never buy them and obviously aren't addicted to them, you're not a smoker in my opinion. That's like calling someone who takes a couple of hits off a joint at a party a "stoner."   

In the words of the beloved country singer George Strait, "And if you'll buy that, I've got some ocean front property in Arizona"...YMMV.

[OnTime]

If Kate smokes a pack a day or only smokes a pack a year, she is a smoker!

Edited January 21, 2019 by OnTime

[Crazy Bird Lady]

37 minutes ago, OnTime said:

If Kate smokes a pack a day or only smokes a pack a year, she is a smoker!

So 'they' say.

I once lived in a foreign country where it was considered impolite to refuse an offered cigarette at a group gathering.

I wasn't a smoker, and at first I did refuse. Later on, I realized I was inhaling it anyway, so I might as well be polite --and I began to accept a cigarette at such gatherings.

I never bought a pack for myself, and I never smoked except on those occasions, and after moving back to the USA, I haven't smoked again. At all. Not even one.

I suppose that makes me a 'smoker'...

[gonecrackers]

1 hour ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

So 'they' say.

I once lived in a foreign country where it was considered impolite to refuse an offered cigarette at a group gathering.

I wasn't a smoker, and at first I did refuse. Later on, I realized I was inhaling it anyway, so I might as well be polite --and I began to accept a cigarette at such gatherings.

I never bought a pack for myself, and I never smoked except on those occasions, and after moving back to the USA, I haven't smoked again. At all. Not even one.

I suppose that makes me a 'smoker'...

That's a good point; not everyone becomes addicted. But even if just social, Kate referred to her smoking as a "bad habit". If she can get together with smokers while not partaking, then no biggie. If not, she may have a bit of an addiction happening.

[aphroditewitch]

20 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

So 'they' say.

I once lived in a foreign country where it was considered impolite to refuse an offered cigarette at a group gathering.

I wasn't a smoker, and at first I did refuse. Later on, I realized I was inhaling it anyway, so I might as well be polite --and I began to accept a cigarette at such gatherings.

I never bought a pack for myself, and I never smoked except on those occasions, and after moving back to the USA, I haven't smoked again. At all. Not even one.

I suppose that makes me a 'smoker'...

I'm waiting to see if the smoking thing continues to be a theme throughout the season. If she quits and it never comes up again, then it is not a huge deal. I feel like she must not have been been smoking on the honeymoon otherwise they would have had him contradict her on the claim that it was only when she is out with friends. 

[Soup333]

1 hour ago, aphroditewitch said:

I'm waiting to see if the smoking thing continues to be a theme throughout the season. If she quits and it never comes up again, then it is not a huge deal. I feel like she must not have been been smoking on the honeymoon otherwise they would have had him contradict her on the claim that it was only when she is out with friends. 

I wonder if she’ll smoke again since she seems to be stressed in the promos. He’ll never let it go if she does. 

[Marsh]

2 hours ago, aphroditewitch said:

I'm waiting to see if the smoking thing continues to be a theme throughout the season. 

I don't think they're going to be together long enough for us to find out. 

Side note, can you believe this show is 15+ episodes long.  They leave us hanging week to week for 3-4 months.  It's crazy.  Well that's not entirely true.  Some weeks are boring filler episodes that I don't care about as much.

[aphroditewitch]

2 hours ago, Marsh said:

I don't think they're going to be together long enough for us to find out. 

Side note, can you believe this show is 15+ episodes long.  They leave us hanging week to week for 3-4 months.  It's crazy.  Well that's not entirely true.  Some weeks are boring filler episodes that I don't care about as much.

I'm skeptical that Kate and Luke will continue on for the entire 8 weeks. But I think they at least a couple more weeks together based on the previews. 

I feel like most reality shows leave the viewers hanging and have too many filler episodes. It is why I avoid most of them but for some reason MAFS is something I continue to watch. 

[love2lovebadtv]

On 1/15/2019 at 10:29 PM, Neurochick said:

Thinking about Jasmine again.  I think she has seen so many black women have to do everything themselves.  She feels that now that she’s married the man can do the heavy lifting, that if you won’t be “the man” why be married?  

 

On 1/15/2019 at 11:06 PM, Gem 10 said:

I don’t consider paying bills “ heavy lifting”.  More like a little bookkeeping.  She’s making a big deal over nothing.  A very unusual request.  Most women I know like to control the money.  Better than getting an allowance from the husband.

I thought the issue was that Will wanted the household bills to be split 50/50 and Jasmine wasn't ok with that - not that she had an issue with doing the budgeting or managing the money. She said she wanted her husband to be a provider. He was confused because he thought she would want to be independent. 

I have no issues with either of their preferences because everyone is entitled to have them. My question is exactly what is on that supposedly exhaustive questionnaire the experts give them. This is a fundamental question to ask and they were both clear ok their expectations. The experts didn't know this? 

I had hope for them but this is part of a larger conversation about what each partner expects from the marriage. 

[love2lovebadtv]

On 1/15/2019 at 10:29 PM, Neurochick said:

Thinking about Jasmine again.  I think she has seen so many black women have to do everything themselves.  She feels that now that she’s married the man can do the heavy lifting, that if you won’t be “the man” why be married?  

I agree this is often the case, which is why I wish the experts would match black women with men who have something in common besides skin color. Will seems fine. But I get the sense that they checked off black guy and stopped ther because this is such a basic question. 

In Jasmine's case, though, she said that's how she grew up. I've never really liked being the only reason to insist on something in a marriage because there are so many different factors, not to mention a generational difference. And this is not to knock Jasmine's preference either. I see nothing wrong with it. 

[humbleopinion]

Perhaps Jasmine made it a deal breaker if her match didn't want to be a traditional provider and was taken aback when Will wants to split household bills.

 Will is a financial guy so it seems more practical to him that they both continue to work to add to the coffers and split the household duties like cooking, cleaning as well as the household expenses.

I have less hope for Jas and Will because Jas' wanting to mimic her parents' marriage and gender roles may be not what Will wants in a spouse...

 Jas blaming Will for not protecting her when she ran her ATV off the road was also ridiculous...

 The tease has Jas not joining in the group activity...predicting her guilting Will for not sitting out with her...see Will calling Jas out as a stick in the mud.... literally and figuratively.....

Will should have been matched with an ambitious, driven woman like Kristine...

 Kristine should have been matched with Will because he won't expect her to cook him dinner and he would have dinner hot and ready for her when she walked in the door....

 Jas and Keith are relics of the olden days...traditional gender role players who do not want to evolve...

[love2lovebadtv]

On 1/19/2019 at 7:59 PM, lezlers said:

I don't get why people don't just put all of their money into a communal pot (the household income) and pay all bills out of that?  Seems like it would avoid the need to nickel and dime stuff.  That's what my husband and I have always done and money isn't an issue.   At some points in our marriage I out earned him.  Now we're about equal.  It's never made a difference with respect to bill paying because it's all coming from one place.

Seems like a damn simple solution to me.

Your setup sounds super simple. I like it. It wouldn't work for me, though. And it wouldn't work for a lot of other couples, either - for a lot of different reasons like stepchildren, student loans, aging parents, differences in money management ideals, resentment (it happens), trying to avoid parents' struggles, wanting to duplicate parents' setup, wanting to feel like a spouse provides for them (Jasmine)  or wanting to provide for a spouse, thinking that 50/50 makes sense since both spouses are earning professionals (Will), thinking that 50/50 is more of a nickel & dime/roommate setup (Jasmine), feeling uncomfortable with spouse knowing just how much they spend on frivolous stuff (Amber from last season)

I could go on and on. This is just off the top of my head. And that's why the experts need to stop going in people's underwear drawers and spend more time discussing money, earnings, ideas about gender roles, and what not. 

Edited January 22, 2019 by love2lovebadtv

[love2lovebadtv]

On 1/16/2019 at 10:34 AM, qtpye said:

Lord girl, if you’re looking for a sugar daddy, you sure picked the wrong show. I did notice when he asked about her cooking, she smiled sheepishly. I think her idea of housewife is being pampered. Most sahms work very hard. She does seem to want to be taken care of but does she know that is a two way street? 

Again, I am glad this is being brought up. I knew the storyline last season that Ricky Bobby wanted Danielle to stay home with the kids was bullshit, particularly since he was very proud of Danielle being the higher earner on unfiltered. Jamie Otis has always wanted to be home with the kids but has to continue working since Doug has the financial stability of tissue paper.

3

Jasmine isn't looking for a sugar daddy nor did she say she was going to be a housewife or SAHM. Not being a breadwinner/provider doesn't automatically mean you're not working at all. Did I miss something? I thought Jasmine wanted a different split of the finances, which would not be the case if she didn't have an income. 

Bobby was proud of Danielle having a great job because he's a great guy who loves his wife. He's proud of her and happy for her. But I seriously doubt there's some huge salary difference. Danielle's job probably costs more in either commuting time or living closer to her work. She's a few years older than Bobby and I honestly think he would want to advance professionally and be the main financial provider. I'm curious to see how they manage when their little one arrives. 

On 1/16/2019 at 11:06 AM, Soup333 said:

I thought Jasmine’s arm band was beautiful, especially contrasting her rich skin tone. 

Kate needs someone who (is not Luke obvs) isn’t really focused on the minutia and wouldn’t be bothered by her showering schedule, social smoking and weird speech. 

Poor Jasmine thinks a man has to be a miniature version of her father. An exact replica. This is a wild notion that’s only going to cause problems in her relationships. Her marriage will not be exactly the same as her parents and I bet if she actually walked in her mom’s shoes she wouldn’t want that anyway. 

2

If Jasmine wants her husband to be a provider, that's fine but it shouldn't be just because it's what worked for her parents. And she'll need to be flexible to some extent because (1) she just met her husband and (2) that's life. 

On 1/16/2019 at 11:09 AM, red12 said:

You might be right about her view of black women. That line "based on what she saw with her parents" is key. Most kids have no idea of the actual dynamics of their parent's marriage or really their parents inner workings as individual humans. I would not be surprised at all if her parents marriage did not really work in the fairy tale manner of Jasmine's retelling.

I apologize in advance if my comment seemed to imply that SAHM's don't work hard. That was not my intention at all. I was highlighting Jasmine's comment about cleaning as if that is all that should matter for him even if he is in a scenario where he is "working 4 jobs" to pay all of the bills. I know a couple of SAHM's who should be professors in household management and budgeting based on what they are able to accomplish on one income.
 

2

So true. I also thought Jasmine's parents got married after she was born. Not a big deal but maybe they had time to work up to this great scenario she witnessed growing up. 

On 1/16/2019 at 11:16 AM, lids said:

The thing about dealbreakers. You can’t have multiple dealbreakers and want to join this show. There’s no way the experts were going to find completely perfect matches for people who couldn’t even find a match for themselves their whole lives. I’ve always been told by married people that what makes good marriages are two people who are willing to forgive and get over themselves. AJ and Stephanie are (so far) a good example of this. She could totally harp on AJ’s unattractiveness and how drunk he was at the wedding, but Steph just wants to be married, so she’s not gonna focus on what could be legitimate dealbreakers until they reach critical levels. AJ could also say she looks old and hasn’t shown much personality, but he’s grateful for what he has in Stephanie.

 

I am pulling for AJ and Stephanie this season. Neither is perfect nor are they expecting perfection. Stephanie has legitimate concerns about two vibrant personalities being matched but she's keeping an open mind. And AJ is so happy. I want this to work. Each season, I ask why I keep watching this show. It's this kind of cuteness and hope. 

On 1/16/2019 at 11:37 AM, qtpye said:

Of course Luke will jump on any hipster bandwagon.

No apologies needed. I understood what you meant. 

As a woman of color, I respect that Jasmine probably has a loving relationship with her father and that she values herself enough not to be taken advantage of. However, I hope she realizes what comes along with being totally financially dependent on someone else.

 

I don't recall Jasmine wanting to be financially dependent on her husband. She has a job as an Assistant Director of something. She just doesn't want to be the breadwinner or have bills split 50/50 like she's a roommate. I think Will, like many other people, are confused when a professional woman prefers more traditional gender roles. 

Edited January 22, 2019 by love2lovebadtv

[love2lovebadtv]

On 1/16/2019 at 11:16 AM, lids said:

I personally think the experts are unfairly blamed for everything, but I will say that physically, I don’t understand why they chose Kate for Luke. Hipster men like hipster women who are thin, wear oversized slouchy clothing and very little to no makeup. Kate is pageant pretty. I just don’t understand where she comes from in a Philly casting. And I’m actually surprised she likes Luke. Do southern belles tend to like douchy east-coast surfing posers? It’s so weird.

 

But Luke likes women of color and seemed more attracted to Jasmine, who isn't thin.

[love2lovebadtv]

On 1/16/2019 at 2:11 PM, Ilovepie said:

Yes to this. It sounds like she described herself as an independent woman to the experts, but now she wants someone to take care of her. This kind of seems like Monet and Vaughn from season 1 in reverse. She thought she wanted traditional gender roles, but she was too independent for that to work (also, Vaughn was gross). Now we have someone describing themselves as independent but then wanting a man to take care of her.......

I once read an article about strong, independent women who want to be taken care of. It was quite interesting and I think the some of the women who feel this way don't always know how to explain themselves so it comes across like a contradiction. But I get it.

[Jeanne222]

9 hours ago, love2lovebadtv said:

I once read an article about strong, independent women who want to be taken care of. It was quite interesting and I think the some of the women who feel this way don't always know how to explain themselves so it comes across like a contradiction. But I get it.

Heck if Jasmine wants to be cradled by her husband then turn over her earnings to him and with all the family money in one pot he'll take care of things!

But to expect a man you just met at the alter to pay all the bills while you pocket your paycheck is unrealistic!

[humbleopinion]

Will should say with only 4 days into the MAFS marriage...."Jasmine, don't give your 2 weeks notice yet."

 Jas did say she wanted to be home to" take care of him"...implying she would quit her job to be a SAHW.

Will was not on board....

[red12]

10 hours ago, love2lovebadtv said:

I once read an article about strong, independent women who want to be taken care of. It was quite interesting and I think the some of the women who feel this way don't always know how to explain themselves so it comes across like a contradiction. But I get it.

My issue with Jasmine specifically and the mindset of "I am independent but..." is that nothing is free. I am free to want anything. But, I cannot question someone's character just because they are unwilling to agree to my terms. In addition, I don't think women who subscribe to this idea really grasp the gamble they are taking with their futures.

Multiple times during the episode Jasmine questioned her husband's masculinity and ability to provide and protect during the ATV scene and during the gender role conversation. Granted, she seems triggered in some way because her reaction did not seem proportional to what was happening. But, I did not think she was being mature or fair in the parts of the conversations were shown. She is also setting a very negative course for their future disagreements if this is a tool in her toolbox.

Honestly, I don't see 50/50 as a strange request in an initial conversation when you have married someone you do not know with an undisclosed salary, amount of  pre-existing debt and no pre-nup.  The negativity about that is just as strange as the male participants who are butt hurt when their wives do not want to immediately take their last names.

In general, all of these people appear to have come into marriage from a place of desperation and desire to be forever cured of loneliness. I have heard nothing from any of them about what they bring to a spouse or their priorities in life other than FINALLY never having to date again or eat alone.  AJ and Stephanie seem to be my early pick for the most closely matched. I am interested to see how this cast develops though.

Edited January 22, 2019 by red12

[red12]

10 hours ago, love2lovebadtv said:

I don't recall Jasmine wanting to be financially dependent on her husband. She has a job as an Assistant Director of something. She just doesn't want to be the breadwinner or have bills split 50/50 like she's a roommate. I think Will, like many other people, are confused when a professional woman prefers more traditional gender roles. 

I'm not trying to hate on Jasmine's career. But, I have very little faith in that Assistant Director job title. It could be a glorified admin position and replacement for $ depending on the industry. Reality shows are very loosey goosey with those job titles when it's not something obvious like kindergarten teacher or radiology technician.

Think of all the account managers and businessmen/women on the Bachelor and Bachelorette. I am also suspicious that a high responsibility job would allow the kind of time commitment that a reality show requires. 

[Gem 10]

On 1/21/2019 at 3:07 AM, ChiCricket said:

 Maybe she hates zoos and they edited that part out? I have a vegan niece who wouldn't go into a zoo if you paid her a million dollars. Just a thought.

 I’m with your niece.  I hate zoos.  I think animals should be in their own element, in the wild.  There are some tho that think at least they are being fed in the zoo.  I hate the circus too.  I think it’s animal abuse, just for profit.  Let kids learn about animals from books and videos.

Edited January 22, 2019 by Gem 10

[gonecrackers]

13 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Will should have been matched with an ambitious, driven woman like Kristine...

 Kristine should have been matched with Will because he won't expect her to cook him dinner and he would have dinner hot and ready for her when she walked in the door....

They should've just put them all in a room to match themselves.

Would be interesting to see who Luke picks...

[humbleopinion]

The only creature that made Puke feel alive inside was the sloth.....

And that was without Frenching the sloth...

Edited January 22, 2019 by humbleopinion

[Gem 10]

Job, schnob.  All these high powered jobs and fancy titles.  Most of them are in their thirties.  Maybe they will have a child and want to stay home to raise their kids.  A.J.s wife looks like she’s ready for a baby.  Maybe she’ll want to stay home.  We sent one of my daughters to a very expensive college.  She worked a few years, had three kids, and look like she rather stay home driving the kids all around all day and night.