Movie Lessons

[methodwriter85]

There's this really funny movie called Dale and Tucker vs. Evil that really sends up that particular Deliverance trope.

 

   Only good girls, and MAYBE their love interest boyfriend, are allowed to survive horror movies.

 

   (The "Good Girl/FinalGirl" trope was explored quite wonderfully in the movie Behind the Mask: The Rise of Vernon Lester.)

Edited August 31, 2014 by methodwriter85

[Bruinsfan]

The Cabin in the Woods had an interesting take on that trope (and the tropes of horror films in general) as well.

[Shannon L.]

When you and your team are getting ready for a big experience (trip into space, battle, the big game...), instead of the team trickling into the meeting place by a specified time and instead of walking through the hallway distracted by something, chatting to another team member, head down in deep thought, etc, you gather one at a time, from different areas, and walk down that hallway together, head held high, shoulders back and a determined look on your face. 

 

After the big event, when you've won, instead of collapsing against the wall, sitting down, looking towards the heavens and with a look of relief, etc, you walk out of the area, head held high, bad-ass look on your face and strutting. 

[BooBear]

If you have decided to kill someone you know... do not simply invite them over and kill them when their back is turned. Instead do an elaborate kidnapping with a mask. But be sure to give enough time for the person to struggle and dramatically pull your mask off.

[OakGoblinFly]

Go ahead and build that artificially intelligent/sentient computer/android - what could possibly go wrong?

[Lonesome Rhodes]

When a cop is notified of, or figures out a crisis is developing far from his location, s/he is to haul ass to that place without first having radioed dispatch to get a unit to the scene.  

[OakGoblinFly]

When a cop is notified of, or figures out a crisis is developing far from his location, s/he is to haul ass to that place without first having radioed dispatch to get a unit to the scene.  

 

 

Back up?  Who need back up? 

 

Or if they do call for back up, those are the first ones to get shot, stabbed, or knocked out.

[Shades of Red]

Go ahead and make a scene in a diner/restaurant/on the street etc and no one who could listen/see you will react (or at least rarely do in the movies).

 

This also includes shooting things/blowing them up.  The general public doesn't seem to react when these kinds of things happen around them.  Just watched RED and I always laugh at one of the opening violent scenes when the bad guys machine gun Bruce Willis' house so badly the porch collapses but yet not a single person in the neighbourhood comes out to see what's happened or calls the cops.

 

On a shallow note - women look amazing in the morning after sleeping in their make-up.

[Bruinsfan]

If I hear someone strafing the neighborhood with assualt rifle fire I'm going to be calling the authorities while laying in my bathtub, and not peek my head out until I hear someone with a bullhorn say it's clear.

[methodwriter85]

If you look into your bathroom or rearview mirror, something very scary will happen.

[Rick Kitchen]

Something very scary happens every time I see my reflection.  :D

[Shannon L.]

 

If you look into your bathroom or rearview mirror, something very scary will happen.

If your cat scares you by leaping out of nowhere, something scary will happen.  Then you'll proceed to run upstairs instead of outside.

 

lol, Rick Kitchen!

[proserpina65]

If the man and woman had previously hated each other, they will invariably come around and have mad, passionate sex.  He will either slam her up against a wall, and bang her, or take his arm and sweep every damn thing off the table or desk, and bang her.  It's supposed to be "hot" and passionate, but it just  looks like it hurts.  All I can think about are the bruises, and if a man swept all my shit on the floor, broken dishes, etc,, he would have to pay me for them and he'd never see me again.

I agree with you, and yet, if it were the right man . . .

Every single teen party takes place at a big home with a pool. Alcohol and marijuana are involved, vomiting in the pool is going to happen and the place is always trashed beyond recognition, including toilet paper in the trees and bushes.

What is up with the toilet paper in the trees?  I've never understood that at all.  I mean, with all the alcohol flowing at these parties, aren't they gonna need all that toilet paper eventually?

[Wildcard]

(After seeing The Hobbit) No matter how many members of the different army exist, the leaders of the opposing armies will fight each other alone.

[proserpina65]

If you're a woman in a romantic comedy, you must ALWAYS go for the free spirited musician/actor/writer etc. instead of the perfect guy with the stable job who adores you.

 

Speaking of teens, all proms happen at their high school. No one ever rents out a conference center or hotel ballroom.

See, this is one thing that always seemed true to life to me - when I was in school (back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, apparently), the prom was always held at the high school, mostly in the gym because it was the only space large enough, and members of the junior class did all the decorating.  Now, I realize I grew up in a small town in a rural county, but back then, nobody I knew had their prom held anywhere else.  And it was "The Prom", not just "Prom".

 

Oh, btw, Hey you kids, get off my lawn!  ;-)

[JBC344]

See, this is one thing that always seemed true to life to me - when I was in school (back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, apparently), the prom was always held at the high school, mostly in the gym because it was the only space large enough, and members of the junior class did all the decorating.  Now, I realize I grew up in a small town in a rural county, but back then, nobody I knew had their prom held anywhere else.  And it was "The Prom", not just "Prom".

 

Oh, btw, Hey you kids, get off my lawn!  ;-)

Interesting, I can totally see that being the case in a small town.  I grew up in a big city and all the high schools rented out halls and hotel ball rooms for the various proms.  Our school would fundraise all year long so we always got to have Prom at this really expensive hall about a half hour outside of the city.  The view from the balcony where we took our Prom pictures was so amazing most people thought it was either photo shopped or we used one of those pull down backdrops you see at Sears Portrait Studios. Lol, do they even have those anymore or am I really dating myself?

[KatWay]

In my city all schools rent halls to hold the prom at. The gym would never fit that many people. And those event spaces have the added benefit of built in catering stuff and various rooms, the big one for ballroom dancing, the smaller one for club dancing usually. Those proms cost a ton of money though. I think most years the kids don't make enough money back and the parent commitee ends up paying the rest.

[MrsRafaelBarba]

In zombie films, once people figure out a head shot drops them.

 

Why do they still revert back to useless gunshots to everywhere(on the undead) but the KILL ZONE? 

 

It drives me crazy!

[caracas1914]

The best friend in a rom com is a neutered individual whose single purpose in life is to give wry one liners observations on the protagonist's love life.

[MrsRafaelBarba]

The best friend in a rom com is a neutered individual whose single purpose in life is to give wry one liners observations on the protagonist's love life.

 

        Quite often, this role is also filled with a Sassy Black Woman  or a Gay Male.

[proserpina65]

The best friend in a rom com is a neutered individual whose single purpose in life is to give wry one liners observations on the protagonist's love life.

That's one of the best things about the Brittany Murphy movie "Love and Other Disasters" (not a great movie but it has its charms) - the gay, male best friend has a love life all his own.  Yes, he comments on hers, and yes, his is kind of tied up with hers somewhat, but still, he has his own romantic mis-haps storyline.

[Lonesome Rhodes]

Yet another ridiculous soft conversation in a super loud room.  In Last Vegas, at the blowout bachelor party in a Vegas penthouse suite, with techno "music" pounding, The DeNiro character is crushed by some news and is slumped over.  His buddies come over and they have a gentle and sympathetic conversation.  That would be literally impossible.  How hard would it have been to go to a room, which they did for other conversations in the very same party scene?  

[Rick Kitchen]

Having just seen Taken 3, this got reinforced.  International bad guys always travel in caravans of black vans.

[topanga]

When a child starts singing a nursery rhyme, and the tune is slow and there's no background music, something terrible is about to happen. And/or the child is Evil.

[FozzyBear]

When a child starts singing a nursery rhyme, and the tune is slow and there's no background music, something terrible is about to happen. And/or the child is Evil.

Always been my rule of thumb for weeding out the evil children from the normal children.

Women come in exactly 2 sizes. Teeny, size zero dateable girl and fat best friend. THERE IS NOTHING IN-BETWEEN!

[FozzyBear]

If you go to a small hick town never, ever make fun of the locals. It'll be the last thing you do.

Don't forget that people in small towns are inherently kind, wise old souls who will show you how to appreciate the important things in life (like fields of wildflowers and 4th of July carnivals). Because life is just like The Stand where all the good people went to Nebraska and the bad people moved to Las Vegas.

[BatmanBeatles]

 

Don't forget that people in small towns are inherently kind, wise old souls who will show you how to appreciate the important things in life

Unless they are inbred.

[Rick Kitchen]

Never stop at a service station in a small town.  The proprietor is a serial killer.

[spaceytraci1208]

When a child starts singing a nursery rhyme, and the tune is slow and there's no background music, something terrible is about to happen. And/or the child is Evil.

Those kids jumping rope and singing "1,2 Freddie's coming for you..." is the scariest scene in the whole Nightmare On Elm Street saga

[topanga]

 

Those kids jumping rope and singing "1,2 Freddie's coming for you..." is the scariest scene in the whole Nightmare On Elm Street saga

Yes, I'd forgotten about that one.

 

This morning, I was listening to the radio when a little girl started singing "London Bridge is falling Down" very slowly. I wondered what new horror movie was coming out. It turned out to be a PSA for the numerous New Jersey bridges that are in needed of repair. I must say I was disappointed

[Rick Kitchen]

Yes, I'd forgotten about that one.

 

This morning, I was listening to the radio when a little girl started singing "London Bridge is falling Down" very slowly. I wondered what new horror movie was coming out. It turned out to be a PSA for the numerous New Jersey bridges that are in needed of repair. I must say I was disappointed

 

I think Chris Christie is a horror story.

[Kel Varnsen]

Women come in exactly 2 sizes. Teeny, size zero dateable girl and fat best friend. THERE IS NOTHING IN-BETWEEN!

There was an awesome quote from 30 Rock about that. When Jenna started to gain a bunch of weight, her boss Jack did not want that to happen. His hilarious line was:

 

She needs to lose 30 pounds or gain 60. Anything in between has no place in television.

[methodwriter85]

Always been my rule of thumb for weeding out the evil children from the normal children.

Women come in exactly 2 sizes. Teeny, size zero dateable girl and fat best friend. THERE IS NOTHING IN-BETWEEN!

 

And the size zero girl is seen eating junk food all the time but never works out, because her metabolism is just that magical.

Edited February 6, 2015 by methodwriter85

[Constantinople]

If you want someone to command your starship, aircraft carrier, etc., don't bother searching for people with the right temperament, social skills, self-discipline, work ethic and intellectual ability, and then train them for years.

 

Just hire the nearest stereotypical frat boy asshole who knows how to party and get in bar fights.

 

It's faster, it's cheaper, and Captain Blutarsky always knows better how to run/fire/sail the ship than the stuffed shirts you already have.

[FozzyBear]

And the size zero girl is seen eating junk food all the time but never works out, because her metabolism is just that magical.

Ha! This is crossing over into TV, but it's the Gilmore Girl effect. They order tons of food, take one little bite, the camera pans away, then they spend a lot of time talking about how much they ate.

Edited February 6, 2015 by FozzyBear

[Betweenyouandme]

Maybe this happens more on TV (also happens on Gilmore Girls)....but, you can wear your shoes on the bed, all over the covers, and no one blinks an eye.

I would flip out if the bottom of someone's shoe was ever on my bed! I don't like shoes all over the house anyway or on any furniture...but on a bed? I'd never allow it. I broke up with a guy I'd been seeing for a short time because he'd come over and put his shoe-covered feet on my fabric ottoman coffee table and blankets on my sofa. No. No. No. No. No. !!!!

[muffkins]

Maybe this happens more on TV (also happens on Gilmore Girls)....but, you can wear your shoes on the bed, all over the covers, and no one blinks an eye.

I would flip out if the bottom of someone's shoe was ever on my bed! I don't like shoes all over the house anyway or on any furniture...but on a bed? I'd never allow it. I broke up with a guy I'd been seeing for a short time because he'd come over and put his shoe-covered feet on my fabric ottoman coffee table and blankets on my sofa. No. No. No. No. No. !!!!

Ok, this is something that has always bothered me.  It makes me crazy when people just walk into a house and don't take their shoes off at the door.  It happens everywhere, TV shows, movies, commercials.  Is it that prevalent?  Every single person I know removes their shoes when they enter someone's house.  It amuses my husband to no end when I yell at people in commercials that if they took their damn shoes off at the door, their floors, carpets, whatever wouldn't be filthy enough that when they make a pass with various cleaning tools there is a blinding white strip down the middle.  God only knows what is on the ground outside, why would people track it through their house?  Sorry, I know this is completely off topic, but it's been bothering me for years.

Edited February 11, 2015 by muffkins

[proserpina65]

Ok, this is something that has always bothered me.  It makes me crazy when people just walk into a house and don't take their shoes off at the door.  It happens everywhere, TV shows, movies, commercials.  Is it that prevalent?

 

I'd say it's at least as common as taking your shoes off at the door, if not more so.  Growing up, no one I knew took their shoes off when entering a house (except for outdoor boots in bad weather), and most of my friends and relatives still don't.

[Bruinsfan]

That's been my experience too. Of course, pretty much all of my friends and family know not to put their feet up on upholstered furniture if they're wearing shoes. I don't specifically recall seeing anyone doing that in socks unless it's curling their legs up on a sofa or something similar.

[FozzyBear]

I'd say it's at least as common as taking your shoes off at the door, if not more so. Growing up, no one I knew took their shoes off when entering a house (except for outdoor boots in bad weather), and most of my friends and relatives still don't.

I've never been asked to take my shoes off before entering a home except in special circumstances (open house, carpet cleaning...) and I've never asked anyone else to take off their shoes. Maybe it's regional? I'm from Central CA so it's not like we get a lot of weather to begin with. Maybe it's more common in rainy areas because of mud?

[Betweenyouandme]

I've never been asked to take my shoes off before entering a home except in special circumstances (open house, carpet cleaning...) and I've never asked anyone else to take off their shoes. Maybe it's regional? I'm from Central CA so it's not like we get a lot of weather to begin with. Maybe it's more common in rainy areas because of mud?

Not trying to say this is 100% cultural. However, my mom's family doesn't take off shoes. They're white/British/Protestant. My dad's family definitely does. They're Indian/African/Canadian (Muslim). Just throwing that out there for interest's sake. However, my mom's side still wouldn't put shoes on furniture.

[proserpina65]

Not trying to say this is 100% cultural. However, my mom's family doesn't take off shoes. They're white/British/Protestant. My dad's family definitely does. They're Indian/African/Canadian (Muslim). Just throwing that out there for interest's sake. However, my mom's side still wouldn't put shoes on furniture.

Some of it may indeed be cultural.  I'd never even heard of the concept of taking your shoes off when entering someone else's house until I read something about the Japanese doing it.

 

Totally with you on the "no shoes on the furniture" though.  Even the teenagers in my extended family knew not to do that.

[KatWay]

Japan doesn't do shoes in the house, Europe (at least the places I've been to and the people I know) don't either. Makes sense to me, this way you don't drag all that dirt into it. I only allow shoes in the house on some occasions, like when we host a fancier party or something. Normally people get house shoes. Nobody's ever complained.

[muffkins]

Not trying to say this is 100% cultural. However, my mom's family doesn't take off shoes. They're white/British/Protestant. My dad's family definitely does. They're Indian/African/Canadian (Muslim). Just throwing that out there for interest's sake. However, my mom's side still wouldn't put shoes on furniture.

I'm Canadian, European background, in the Vancouver/Lower mainland area.  No one in my family back as far as I can remember, wears their shoes in the house.  My neighbours currently are from Taiwan, so there is always a bunch of shoes on their porch they won't even wear them into the house, but we all take them off right inside the front door.  I don't know if its cultural, as my family are Ukrainian, Hungarian, Swedish, German, English, French, Finnish......

My friends are also from quite varied backgrounds and all take their shoes off.  I've never actually asked anyone to take them off, and never been asked, we just do it.  I guess its just one of the mysteries of the universe.

[Betweenyouandme]

Unless it's a plot point where the character is eavesdropping around a corner or with a glass to the wall, no one can hear conversations taking place in a nearby or adjoining room...even if there are no doors separating the two rooms.

[xls]

Never go off to an isolated house in the woods to write a novel, terrible things will happen to you.

 

Every woman who lives in New York works at an art gallery!

Edited February 15, 2015 by xls

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Never go off to an isolated house in the woods to write a novel, terrible things will happen to you.

 

Or to a hotel for the winter.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Having just had a double feature of The Drop and The Equalizer, a new movie lesson I have learned is to never fuck with guys named Bob.

Edited March 30, 2015 by Cobalt Stargazer

[caracas1914]

Crowded city street people are magically protected from any gunshots in the streets between firing protagonists.  A thousand bullets flying and the pedestrians never fall down wounded or dead.

[satrunrose]

 

I'm Canadian, European background, in the Vancouver/Lower mainland area.  No one in my family back as far as I can remember, wears their shoes in the house.  My neighbours currently are from Taiwan, so there is always a bunch of shoes on their porch they won't even wear them into the house, but we all take them off right inside the front door.  I don't know if its cultural, as my family are Ukrainian, Hungarian, Swedish, German, English, French, Finnish......

My friends are also from quite varied backgrounds and all take their shoes off.  I've never actually asked anyone to take them off, and never been asked, we just do it.  I guess its just one of the mysteries of the universe.

Yes, the shoe thing is something that once you see, you can't stop noticing. It must be regional because I'm from eastern Canada (Scottish, English, Irish ancestry) and I've never met anyone who didn't take their shoes off at the door. Sometimes people will say "oh, don't worry about your shoes", mostly in the case of a brief visit from a close friend, but the standard is absolutely no shoes in the house.