Jenelle: Birther Of 3, Mother To None

[Mkay]

[guilfoyleatpp]

The pool is worth more than the land. 

I'm just letting that sink in.

Pun totally not intended, but I'm leaving it in. 

[lovesnark]

I must have been looking at the county website at the same time as that Twitter poster. The house is valued at 6k less than what they financed. They paid 35k for the property (it's two parcels) and it's valued at $18,700 AFTER all the improvements like a well, septic and power. With what they financed and what they paid for THE LAND, they're into it for $188k (not including any down payment and the $20k they spent on the pool) and it's valued at $166k. A veritable real estate brain trust, those two!??

[Mkay]

19 minutes ago, lovesnark said:

I must have been looking at the county website at the same time as that Twitter poster. The house is valued at 6k less than what they financed. They paid 35k for the property (it's two parcels) and it's valued at $18,700 AFTER all the improvements like a well, septic and power. With what they financed and what they paid for THE LAND, they're into it for $188k (not including any down payment and the $20k they spent on the pool) and it's valued at $166k. A veritable real estate brain trust, those two!??

How many acres do they own?

[lovesnark]

Just now, Mkay said:

How many acres do they own?

About 7. However, the power company has an easement that renders a little more than 2 acres unusable. I bet the people they bought it from laugh their asses off every day at the suckers who were too stupid to do research before they overpaid for their swampland in Bumfuck, North Carolina?

1 hour ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

The pool is worth more than the land. 

I'm just letting that sink in.

Pun totally not intended, but I'm leaving it in. 

I'll add to your pun. They're underwater on the whole thing.

[Christina]

1 hour ago, lovesnark said:

I must have been looking at the county website at the same time as that Twitter poster. The house is valued at 6k less than what they financed. They paid 35k for the property (it's two parcels) and it's valued at $18,700 AFTER all the improvements like a well, septic and power. With what they financed and what they paid for THE LAND, they're into it for $188k (not including any down payment and the $20k they spent on the pool) and it's valued at $166k. A veritable real estate brain trust, those two!??

Those dead bodies lower property values like you wouldn't believe. Not that I know from personal experience or anything. 

Didn't Jenelle originally buy the land from a friend's family? For putting up with her the seller probably deserved the extra. 

[Jennifersdc]

Cool your jets David. I’m a Vice President. It doesn’t mean shit. He’s acting like Pence was showing up to personally inspect his house.

Loved how Jenelle claimed they were going to fix their “problem” or everyone was going to get fired. She’s stupidly priceless. Bitch - you tried to put a modular home in the middle of a swamp.

Speaking of swamp - I’m dying to know what “professional dives” they offer through their new “business”. Scuba in the swamp river? That sounds so worthwhile! Murky water...catfish and bass?  How exciting. Sign me up!

Edited June 22, 2018 by Jennifersdc
Edited to add - I must again apologize to the majority of the board for debating Jenelle was one of the most innately intelligent of the TM’s.

[Jennifersdc]

8 hours ago, druzy said:

I’m not on the construction side of my business but I do underwrite/due diligence  development deals. I have to read shit like this so do have a modicum of understanding. They’re idiots. They obviously didn’t read their contract/due diligence docs or understood it. I’m pretty sure their builder protected themselves against this nonsense through the warranties and reps section.

[druzy]

[DNR]

23 hours ago, lovesnark said:

There's a reason they're surrounded with undeveloped land. It's unsuitable for building.

I’d bet like a lot of abusers , UBT wanted to get Janelle isolated & secluded as fast and far away as possible .  So screw all the red flags on building at the swamplands 

[Jennifersdc]

On 6/19/2018 at 1:22 PM, poeticlicensed said:

I'm confused. So if a cop shows up at your door to do a welfare check, you can just say go away unless you have a warrant? 

Good question.

Reminds me of a really funny Sopranos scene. FBI come to the door and the maid (she was fabulous) let’s them in and gets “Mr. Tony” from the backyard in his bathrobe. He goes - you let them in the house (she gives a great IDGAS shrug). Warrant, warrant - how do you say warrant in Polish? Sopranos was great - they were such terrible people.

Jenelle and David could be really funny as fictional characters - fictional Jenelle, fictional....

Sorry off topic - but you really should watch The Sopranos if you haven’t.

[Jennifersdc]

57 minutes ago, druzy said:

Maybe they’re running out of money?

Edited June 22, 2018 by Jennifersdc
Edited to add - for some reason I don’t think Steve Jobs mentioned Forever 21 in his dying words. Maybe that’s just me.

[Jennifersdc]

20 hours ago, Christina said:

 

But perfect to dispose of the dead bodies. UBT is obviously a serial killer, and with as often as he threatens rape, a serial rapist, too. Probably of men since he's so focused on men and their sexual preferences.

No one will be stopping by to visit because they are so toxic and their land is a mosquito and snake infested swamp.

I’d like to nominate you for quote of the day. That’s really funny.

[lovesnark]

Hmmmm. I wonder if Clayton Homes told the swamp things  to shove their sinking house up their asses and she's trying to set the stage for their series of lies about it. Something along the lines of they've decided to move to be closer to Lurch's "job". Or, since they're so busy with their new business, they need to move somewhere with less maintenance. They're both the least humble dirtbags in North Carolina and even more financially ignorant than we thought they were. Her post makes me think we're going to see the Eason Fake Humble Tour coming down the road soon.

[guilfoyleatpp]

3 hours ago, druzy said:

 

2 hours ago, Jennifersdc said:

Maybe they’re running out of money?

 

Also adding for your ETA @Jennifersdc. 

According to a few sources, not the least of them The Guardian, Steve Job's final words were "oh wow. oh wow. oh wow."

I tried to google this Forever 21 shit (And is MK really on SJ's radar? Like at any point?), and nope. A fake story circulated about a speech he supposedly made on his deathbed about wealth, but that was bogus (per snopes). And then there was a famous commencement speech at Stanford...also no Forever 21 or Michael Kors shout outs. 

PS I can believe that SJ and MK possibly ran into each other every now and then, but I'm less certain that MK was any sort of marker for a certain status of wealth. Or SJ was able to differentiate the few levels of status between Forever 21 and Michael Kors.

Yeah, I went into the rabbit hole. I should probably find something else to do tonight. But I'm stuck watching Alvin and the Chipmunks with an amped up 7 year old. gah. 

Edited June 22, 2018 by guilfoyleatpp

[Jennifersdc]

24 minutes ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

 

Yeah, I went into the rabbit hole. I should probably find something else to do tonight. But I'm stuck watching Alvin and the Chipmunks with an amped up 7 year old. gah. 

Oh - I’ve done real worse. See RHNJ (I read alot of legal docs).

I didn’t even have a 7-yr old. I blame bourbon and weed.

[lovesnark]

I spent way too much time in the Twitter rabbit hole today and my kids are grown ups and I didn't smoke any pot-lol! We've all been waiting for SO many years for Jenelle to finally have to suffer consequences for her stupid decisions and awful behavior. If they wind up losing every red cent they foolishly dumped into the swamp of horrors, it would be such a sight to behold! If MTV fires her or finally pulls the plug on this show, it would be icing on the karmic cake. They are both so hateful and have caused so much heartache, I want karma to whap both of them upside the head HARD!

[guilfoyleatpp]

49 minutes ago, Jennifersdc said:

Oh - I’ve done real worse. See RHNJ (I read alot of legal docs).

I didn’t even have a 7-yr old. I blame bourbon and weed.

I was so considering trying to remember where we put the weed. It felt like too much effort.

I just have this image of Jenelle sitting in that house as it slowly breaks apart and sinks around her like an ice floe. 

[Maharincess]

This shit was filmed a year ago right? Does anyone know what's going on with the swamp house in real time? I don't do any kind of social media and I only follow them here so I don't know if anything has happened with it. 

[NannyBails]

I'm surprised they got financing for the swamp to begin with.  Doesn't seem like a smart move by a bank or mortgage company.  

[lovesnark]

2 hours ago, NannyBails said:

I'm surprised they got financing for the swamp to begin with.  Doesn't seem like a smart move by a bank or mortgage company.  

I noticed the financing company is in the same town as the headquarters of Clayton Homes. It's probably similar to buying a car and having to use their finance department because your credit is shitty. It's a way to rebuild your credit if you make the payments on time but you pay a steep interest rate. In the case of the swamp things, I doubt either one of them knew what the words interest rate meant when they signed the contract. I can see UBT looking at a statement and wondering who these dudes Principal and Interest are and threatening to sodomize their mothers because they're taking his money.

Edited June 22, 2018 by lovesnark

[monicageller]

[Mkay]

8 hours ago, Maharincess said:

This shit was filmed a year ago right? Does anyone know what's going on with the swamp house in real time? I don't do any kind of social media and I only follow them here so I don't know if anything has happened with it. 

It was filmed in January 2018.  5 months ago.  I say that mostly because Ensleys bday part has been in two episodes now. Including the birthday photo shoot where Janelle tells Jamie her ceiling has a crack. She hasn’t mentioned any fix, hasn’t tagged them yet, nothing.  So status unknown at the moment.  

Edited June 22, 2018 by Mkay

[Rebecca]

On 6/17/2018 at 8:09 PM, TheRealT said:

Jenelle and UBT's "happy family" IG posts seriously freak me out. I feel so overwhelmingly sorry for all of their kids because I know how weird/horrible it must be for them to have this weird life where their "parents" are usually moody/volatile/unpredictable because they're crazy/on drugs, but they snap into this weird, phony "niceness" periodically for SM posts, CPS visits, MTV filming, etc. I'm sure it's weird enough for Maryssa and Jace, who are old enough to sort of understand that UBT and Jenelle are intentionally being fake to make themselves look better. I doubt that the younger kids really get that, so, for them, life is just this weird roulette wheel where sometimes if you ask to go potty your parents are all smiles and, "Sure, buddy! Good for you for asking!" and sometimes they threaten to/actually do beat your ass for the same exact thing.

They seem to be mostly positive toward Ensley for now (while she's a semi-stoned infant who's pretty easy-going most of the time), but how will they deal with her when she's a more difficult and mobile/dexterous toddler who's getting into all kinds of stuff while they're getting high/passed out, throwing tantrums, etc.? Also, I suspect/fear that they may be drugging her, indirectly/unintentionally through second-hand marijuana smoke and/or intentionally with children's Benadryl or something (I TOTALLY would not put that past them). They totally seem like the kind of (Casey Anthony type) parents who would do that kind of thing.

It reminds me of the Hart family...the 2 moms with the 6 adopted kids wo were drugged with Benadryl and then driven off a cliff...all their friends and associates were shocked because they presented as “normal” but behind closed doors the kids were abused. It must be so confusing for the kids and a real mind fuck to be treated nicely at some points (in public) and then cruelly behind closed doors, like you said. https://www.google.com/amp/s/mobile.nytimes.com/2018/04/27/us/hart-family-crash.amp.html

On 6/19/2018 at 10:46 AM, ghoulina said:

Kristen's new hair is fugly, and she's such a try-hard in that leather jacket. 

Kristen was so fucking annoying in that scene. Actually, every scene she’s in is extra annoying. I hate her asskissing and fake “soothing” voice she uses with them.

On 6/20/2018 at 2:33 PM, druzy said:

Well if they just started last week and only had 1 candidate who signed up and passed the test I guess you can call that "a high candidate success rate"

Since when is “dive instructors” a proper noun that needs capitalization? Also, wouldn’t it be diving instructors? “Dive instructors” sounds like poor grammar to me. Their testimonials are hilarious...they all look like generic models in the pictures.

17 hours ago, lovesnark said:

I must have been looking at the county website at the same time as that Twitter poster. The house is valued at 6k less than what they financed. They paid 35k for the property (it's two parcels) and it's valued at $18,700 AFTER all the improvements like a well, septic and power. With what they financed and what they paid for THE LAND, they're into it for $188k (not including any down payment and the $20k they spent on the pool) and it's valued at $166k. A veritable real estate brain trust, those two!??

Lol!!!!! I really, reallyyyy hope there’s no way they get out of being screwed. I’ll be so pissed if Clayton gives into them and pays for anything at all.

53 minutes ago, monicageller said:

Kaiser’s smile looks more relaxed and genuine here than I’ve seen in a long time. There still uncertainty in his eyes but he looks kinda happy.

Edited June 22, 2018 by Rebecca

[heatherchandler]

Do they have that mirror plugged in, on the edge of the bathtub?  I see the cord.

[guilfoyleatpp]

31 minutes ago, heatherchandler said:

Do they have that mirror plugged in, on the edge of the bathtub?  I see the cord.

of course they do.

I like how in the 2nd picture you can see the reflection of the pile of dirty clothes in the corner. 

[lovesnark]

4 hours ago, NannyBails said:

I'm surprised they got financing for the swamp to begin with.  Doesn't seem like a smart move by a bank or mortgage company.  

A lot of lenders won't finance modular homes because, like a car, they depreciate. Casa swamp is already worth $6k less than the amount they financed and I don't know what sort of down payment they made. It looks like their lender works with Clayton Homes. I'd love to know their interest rate.

[Mkay]

1 hour ago, lovesnark said:

That's a report from an independent inspector, not Clayton Homes. The next step would be to get bids from contractors to do the work they suggested and to also hire a soil engineer to conduct the tests they recommended. I'm sure the swamp things thought they'd just have the work done and hand the bill to Clayton Homes. Wrong! 

Remember when they were waiting on all the soil tests to come back. They tested it.  They just didn’t care what it said. 

[lovesnark]

2 minutes ago, Mkay said:

Remember when they were waiting on all the soil tests to come back. They tested it.  They just didn’t care what it said. 

They are truly dumber than the dirt they live on. I did a little reading and that whole area is pretty much useless as far as habitation. The swamp aspect is one thing and if you find a spot  you could build on,  you have to spend a ton of money making it usable and even then, the soil is corrosive. It needs to be left to the animals that have called it home forever.

[druzy]

11 minutes ago, Mkay said:

Remember when they were waiting on all the soil tests to come back. They tested it.  They just didn’t care what it said. 

I sure do:

And who can forget Jenelle the expert giving out advice:

[Birdee]

1 hour ago, lovesnark said:

That's a report from an independent inspector, not Clayton Homes. The next step would be to get bids from contractors to do the work they suggested and to also hire a soil engineer to conduct the tests they recommended. I'm sure the swamp things thought they'd just have the work done and hand the bill to Clayton Homes. Wrong! 

Durrh. Can't believe I missed that. 

[FairyDusted]

14 hours ago, Jennifersdc said:

Oh - I’ve done real worse. See RHNJ (I read alot of legal docs).

I didn’t even have a 7-yr old. I blame bourbon and weed.

Sit next to me! *PPP* 

[SweetieDarling]

Are there no building codes in NC? They had to have had permits and whatnot to put the home and pool there. Did they dig their own cesspool? WTF?

Around here you would need permits and county inspectors -not that they're competent or can't be paid off, judging from the hot water in my toilet tank on our settlement walk through (half of house plumbed backwards; hot/cold).

[Mkay]

40 minutes ago, druzy said:

I sure do:

And who can forget Jenelle the expert giving out advice:

Yes!!! Thank you!

[ElderPrice]

1 hour ago, FairyDusted said:

Sit next to me! *PPP* 

Me too! Weed is the only way I can watch these chucklefucks without raging. *PPP*

[heatherchandler]

3 hours ago, lovesnark said:

That's a report from an independent inspector, not Clayton Homes. The next step would be to get bids from contractors to do the work they suggested and to also hire a soil engineer to conduct the tests they recommended. I'm sure the swamp things thought they'd just have the work done and hand the bill to Clayton Homes. Wrong! 

Like what David said to the VICE PRESIDENT, "hope you brought your checkbook!"  

[NannyBails]

1 hour ago, SweetieDarling said:

Are there no building codes in NC? They had to have had permits and whatnot to put the home and pool there. Did they dig their own cesspool? WTF?

Around here you would need permits and county inspectors -not that they're competent or can't be paid off, judging from the hot water in my toilet tank on our settlement walk through (half of house plumbed backwards; hot/cold).

You do need permits in NC.  Wondering how they skirted the issue?   My neighbor built a screened-in porch after she was denied a permit.   That's risky to me, but not as risky as building an entire house.  Plus, you would think the septic would have to be inspected also.

[CaliforniaLove]

1 hour ago, Mkay said:

Yes!!! Thank you!

LOL!!! They know they're fucked on the house, so all ridiculous social media efforts shall be directed to the pool company immediately! 

I wonder if "broken parts" refers to the fence that still isn't properly surrounding the pool.

[Mkay]

38 minutes ago, CaliforniaLove said:

LOL!!! They know they're fucked on the house, so all ridiculous social media efforts shall be directed to the pool company immediately! 

I wonder if "broken parts" refers to the fence that still isn't properly surrounding the pool.

Hahaha I wish. She once said it was a salt cell.  

Edited June 22, 2018 by Mkay

[lovesnark]

2 hours ago, NannyBails said:

You do need permits in NC.  Wondering how they skirted the issue?   My neighbor built a screened-in porch after she was denied a permit.   That's risky to me, but not as risky as building an entire house.  Plus, you would think the septic would have to be inspected also.

If the septic went in before the foundation, it was already signed off. Wouldn't surprise me in the least if UBT dug out the foundation himself knowing it was too close to the septic and that he didn't grade it properly. I still can't figure out why the county would sign off on it, though. The pool was probably done without a permit. I remember Jenelle telling someone on Twitter that they were waiting for the inspection on the pool when she was asked why it wasn't fenced. Sure, Jenelle. That was a year ago and it's still not fenced. They put a fence up around the back yard but the kids can still walk out the back door and go right to the pool.

[Farmfam]

Ugh...I really, really HATE ago defend Jenelle, but I’ve seen the fence debate long enough to chime in. I live in Pennsylvania and I have an aunt that put in an in-ground pool and the laws all required it to be fenced. The fence was only protection from outsiders being able to enter the pool, so she fenced her entire yard. You could freely walk out of the House and into the pool without any boundary. At this time, she had no young children at her home so it didn’t matter. It was perfectly legal though.

Fast forward a few years- selling that home was a challenge because people with young children didn’t want that kind of fence. Again, it was legal though. 

[lovesnark]

15 minutes ago, Farmfam said:

Ugh...I really, really HATE ago defend Jenelle, but I’ve seen the fence debate long enough to chime in. I live in Pennsylvania and I have an aunt that put in an in-ground pool and the laws all required it to be fenced. The fence was only protection from outsiders being able to enter the pool, so she fenced her entire yard. You could freely walk out of the House and into the pool without any boundary. At this time, she had no young children at her home so it didn’t matter. It was perfectly legal though.

Fast forward a few years- selling that home was a challenge because people with young children didn’t want that kind of fence. Again, it was legal though. 

I was talking about a fence from a keeping the kids safe perspective, not a legal one. The swamp things are neglectful, stoned, checked out parents. It would take just a few minutes for Kaiser or the baby to drown while they're locked in the bedroom getting high.

[Farmfam]

16 minutes ago, lovesnark said:

I was talking about a fence from a keeping the kids safe perspective, not a legal one. The swamp things are neglectful, stoned, checked out parents. It would take just a few minutes for Kaiser or the baby to drown while they're locked in the bedroom getting high.

Oh, and yes I couldn’t agree with you more. As a parent of young children their fence priorities should have been safety of the children. As you said, they are too careless and ignorant to care. 

 

I, myself, would choose to fence the actual pool. 

[Rebecca]

These idiots shouldn’t own a pool even if it were to be fenced. I don’t trust them to actually watch the kids carefully enough when they’re in said pool. Jenelle would wander off to smoke up and be gone for half an hour without even noticing or thinking about the kids.

[lovesnark]

2 minutes ago, Rebecca said:

These idiots shouldn’t own a pool even if it were to be fenced. I don’t trust them to actually watch the kids carefully enough when they’re in said pool. Jenelle would wander off to smoke up and be gone for half an hour without even noticing or thinking about the kids.

I could totally see her wandering into the shed to have a bong rip, getting caught up in some Twitter drama and completely forgetting the kids were in the pool. And, I could see her blaming Kaiser if something happened to the baby. 

[Stusan]

Here with pools, if you have your entire yard fenced, you need an alarm on any door from the house leading out into the enclosed pool area.

As for the inspections - if you were the inspector who came out onto The Land and encountered those loose cannons, what would you do?  I might be tempted to conditionally pass them so I could get the hell out of Dodge without having a body part shot off.

[CaliforniaLove]

7 hours ago, lovesnark said:

I could totally see her wandering into the shed to have a bong rip, getting caught up in some Twitter drama and completely forgetting the kids were in the pool. And, I could see her blaming Kaiser if something happened to the baby. 

C'mon, she wouldn't blame Kaiser...Jace is older & would be the one trusted to make sure nothing happened to the baby & if it was a weekend he wasn't there, then ultimately it's BARB'S FAULT. All roads lead to blaming Barb. #yahtzee

[Guest]

Just a reminder that if you're posting anything relating to Jenelle's swamp house, even if it's an IG or Twitter post, the address of the property shouldn't be mentioned and, if it's pictured, must be redacted. (There are apps that can do that.)

[druzy]

It's UBT's birthday today =lots of drugs and tweets and deletes.

I beg to differ:

Edited June 23, 2018 by druzy

[zenme]

Until the day WE die is right! I totally see that ending up in a murder-suicide. I know it sounds harsh, but honestly, I do.