The GCEh?C: Canadian Episodes (Spoilers for Non-Canadians)

[Toomuchsoap]

14 hours ago, Cindyluwho said:

Serious question...Doesnt anyone have sex in bed anymore?

Why would anybody want to do that when the top of a Breville is free?

[film noire]

On 7/28/2018 at 9:04 AM, granderobino said:

Who wants to hook up with their mother's discards? 

Summer is a chippie off the old block.

 

Quote

 "Um...that's not how your Mom does it."

LOL 

Nothing says "hot summer soap fun" like a Woody & Soon-yi storyline!

[bannana]

Funeral day.  Devon claims to have paid close and careful attention to Hilary's specific requests.  Except that he didn't.  The only thing I was looking forward to was the fascinators Hilary had requested the ladies attending wear, and the celebration she requested, that most certainly would have included some Beyoncé, and maybe some Cher doing Mamma Mia.  Nope, it was a sad and dull affair.  Here's what I can remember:

• All of  a sudden, Devon thinks that Nate is too blame for Hilary's death and that he should have brought in better doctors.  Neil tries to mediate.
• Shawna is pissed at Lily for killing Hilary and by the end of the show, when Lily tries to talk to her, Shawna loudly reveals that Lily caused the accident, she blew through the red light, and she killed Hilary.  Devon and everyone else look stunned.  BTW, doesn't Shawna have parents?  Why are they just letting this young woman go through this alone and remain living with a billionaire who just lost his wife?
• They seem to be projecting a Phack reunion based on the tug of war that happened today with Billy, Phyllis and Jack.  Say no, Jack. Jack escorted her to the funeral, and Billy showed up later.
• That Mark guy showed up and when grilled by Devon and Mariah he told them that Hilary turned down a national talk show gig because she just wanted to be married to Devon and raise their child.  Awwww....
• They showed a church set for the funeral!  And a coffin!  But all of the players were actually only shown at Devon's PH, before and after the funeral.

[valleycliffe]

3 minutes ago, bannana said:

BTW, doesn't Shawna have parents?  Why are they just letting this young woman go through this alone and remain living with a billionaire who just lost his wife?

i think they moved and wanted her to stay with someone or other...she didn't want to.

something like that.  i think it might have had something to do with her brother who almost od'd.

[peacheslatour]

Quote

The only thing I was looking forward to was the fascinators Hilary had requested the ladies attending wear, 

Please excuse my fashion ignorance buy what are fascinators? Also, thanks for the bannana-capette!

1 minute ago, valleycliffe said:

i think they moved and wanted her to stay with someone or other...she didn't want to.

something like that.  i think it might have had something to do with her brother who almost od'd.

Like Ernie on My Three Sons? His parents just up and moved away and he stayed and lived with the Douglass'.

[valleycliffe]

3 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

Please excuse my fashion ignorance buy what are fascinators? Also, thanks for the bannana-capette!

fascinators are those hats that look like big flowers and stuff the english wear to events...like the royal weddings etc.

Edited July 31, 2018 by valleycliffe

[NinjaPenguins]

My co-workers are fascinated by fascinators, as it so happens. They’re fancy accessories for your hair.

 

They can be less fancy. There’s a wide variety out there.

PS: Run, Jack, run!

Edit: Jinx with valley! 

Edited July 31, 2018 by NinjaPenguins

[peacheslatour]

Oh, I love those!

[Gam2]

Fascinators are hats built on headbands. Some are huge, some are small but all are put on top of headbands that are usually hidden in the hair.

[bannana]

And Hilary specifically said she wanted everyone, well I guess the females, to wear hats like they do at Royal Weddings.  Boy, Devon, one simple thing!

Oh, and just to add, wearing hats or colourful clothing really does change the mood.  I have been to some of those.  That is what Hilary was going for.

[peacheslatour]

You had ONE job! ?

[jewel21]

4 hours ago, Gam2 said:

Fascinators are hats built on headbands. Some are huge, some are small but all are put on top of headbands that are usually hidden in the hair.

I had wondered how they stayed on people's heads... Makes much more sense than 10008 bobby pins, heh. 

[MollyB]

17 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

Please excuse my fashion ignorance buy what are fascinators? Also, thanks for the bannana-capette!

Yeah, don't feel bad.  I had to google it.  I don't go to funerals anymore (since my ex died and his funeral was a mind blowing circus)  because of shit like this.  I don't think the "host" should dictate what people wear because they are dead! Will there be a hat judging at the wake?

 

17 hours ago, bannana said:

Oh, and just to add, wearing hats or colourful clothing really does change the mood. 

*I do see the point here.  The above is my own personal theory about the nature of grieving and in no way meant to disparage anybody else's attitudes.

[Gam2]

Oh, yeah. Where were all of the fascinators today? I forgot that the ladies were supposed to wear those. Maybe they didn’t even know what those were-ha. Nice that they showed a shot of the church then skipped over to Davon’s condo to the reception afterwards for the drinks and food. I did love Shauna giving Lily down the road for killing Hillary and her baby. 

[boes]

6 hours ago, Gam2 said:

Oh, yeah. Where were all of the fascinators today? I forgot that the ladies were supposed to wear those. Maybe they didn’t even know what those were-ha. Nice that they showed a shot of the church then skipped over to Davon’s condo to the reception afterwards for the drinks and food. I did love Shauna giving Lily down the road for killing Hillary and her baby. 

It seems Phyllis thought her fascinators were already attached to her body.

[bannana]

So today was all about Lily being exposed.  Charlie backed Shawna and said that his mom was distracted and ran the red light.  Then it came out that Cane knew, and told both Charlie and Shawna not to say anything.  Then we got viper Phyllis coming in for the kill.  Then all the Winters went to Neil's place, while Devon explained one on one to Lily that she is a piece of shit and always hated Hilary and made this whole thing happen. Oh my, this relationship may not continue on.  No worries, Lily, Devon has Shawna, just a bedroom away.  He won't be alone, he will be consoled.

Prick had some sort of weird lunch with his harem, consisting of Drinki, Vic and Dummer.  He booked the entire dining room of the GCAC so they could all tongue bathe each other. It was icky.  Later, he wanted to take a walk to Chancellor Park, but Drinki was not enthusiastic, and he was suspicious.

Nick is still pretending to be a major biz guy, by hanging out at CL, whilst wearing a suit.  Vic popped by, and they are now definitely on the outs, cause she is loyal to Prick.  I guess Nick doing one thing to wrong her (pretending to be JT) trumps the hundreds of egregious acts against her by her father.  She is a stupid twat.

Oh, and Viper checked up on Billy at the office, and he was in fact in a meeting, and he was pissed that she was suspicious.

Edited August 2, 2018 by bannana

[crowsworks]

1 hour ago, bannana said:

So today was all about Lily being exposed.  Charlie backed Shawna and said that his mom was distracted and ran the red light.  Then it came out that Cane knew, and told both Charlie and Shawna not to say anything.  Then we got viper Phyllis coming in for the kill.  Then all the Winters went to Neil's place, while Devon explained one on one to Lily that she is a piece of shit and always hated Hilary and made this whole thing happen. Oh my, this relationship may not continue on.  No worries, Lily, Devon has Shawna, just a bedroom away.  He won't be alone, he will be consoled.

Prick had some sort of weird lunch with his harem, consisting of Drinki, Vic and Dummer.  He booked the entire dining room of the GCAC so they could all tongue bathe each other. It was icky.  Later, he wanted to take a walk to Chancellor Park, but Drinki was not enthusiastic, and he was suspicious.

Nick is still pretending to be a major biz guy, by hanging out at CL, whilst wearing a suit.  Vic popped by, and they are now definitely on the outs, cause she is loyal to Prick.  I guess Nick doing one thing to wrong her (pretending to be JT) trumps the hundreds of egregious acts against her by her father.  She is a stupid twat.

Oh, and Viper checked up on Billy at the office, and he was in fact in a meeting, and he was pissed that she was suspicious.

I figured the Shawna thing would happen. Devon can be her foster daddy. Nothing wrong with that. The family has an almost Newmanian tendency to share sex partners intergenerationally. 

Jeopardy anyone?

"What is an 18 letter word for fucking your Father or Son's side-piece, Alex?"

[peacheslatour]

10 hours ago, crowsworks said:

I figured the Shawna thing would happen. Devon can be her foster daddy. Nothing wrong with that. The family has an almost Newmanian tendency to share sex partners intergenerationally. 

Jeopardy anyone?

"What is an 18 letter word for fucking your Father or Son's side-piece, Alex?"

Agammaglobulinemia?

[bannana]

Pretty good show today.

Lily shows up at work, and Neil encourages her to take a spa day but she doesn't.  Mariah is also there.  Then Devon shows up and Neil tells him to take the day off too.  He says, fuck you.  Devon and Lily start to get into it and Mariah ushers him out of there, and tries to reason with him at CL.  When they go back to work there is more friction between him and Lily.  Then Neil thinks it is a great time to talk about selling GC Buzz.  This infuriates Devon, who says it is not going to happen.  He lashes out at Neil for always having hated Hilary after she boinked his son, and also says that Neil still resents him.  He has it out with Lily too and tells her some ugly truths about the way she treated Hil.  She begs him to believe her that she didn't intend to kill Hilary, rightly pointing out that anything could have happened, she could have been killed.  He says there would have been more justice in her dying instead of Hilary.  Then he tells her she needs to turn herself in.  Neil says, whoa, my man.  Can't do that.  Devon is insistent, suggesting if she doesn't turn herself in, he will.  Bryton is pretty good at playing cold-hearted and pissed off.

The Coven get together at CL because that is always a good way to keep suspicion at bay for four dead-body-tampering criminals.  Billy spots them.  Later Paul shows up and suggests that maybe Prick took care of JT, because after all, they know JT was coming to GC and then all of a sudden, nothing.  Drinki is outraged.  After Paul leaves Phyllis suggests it would be a good thing if Prick went down for JT's murder.  She leaves, and Sharon reveals that Phyllis had talked to her about bailing on Drinki and Vic.  Drinki rightly points out that it was Phyllis' idea to not call the police and dispose of the body.  Later we learn that Vic and kids are actually going to visit Reed.  How nice.

Phyllis calls Nick to come visit her at her dotter's apartment.  They talk about their island night of passion.  Then they vow to not let it happen again while acknowledging they are still hot for each other.  Then Nick goes home and urges Sharon to get busy planning the wedding.  And Phyllis goes to Billy and says she was wrong and he says he was wrong and they vow to have sexy times in the office right now.  But Phyllis' eyes belie her internal struggle.

Oh and Devon also told Shawn today that she can stay with him and he has apparently gotten her parents' okay.  Who are these people?  And Shawna and Charlie get into a fight because he thinks she should have kept the secret forever. 

Previews:  Prick, angry, telling Nick:  I will never forget that you ratted me out to the feds.  Devon catches Cane at his PH warning Shawna to keep quiet about the crash.  Jack and Phyllis in a very close tete a tete, and him saying he will always look out for her, and she is smiling. Billy and Dummer kissing!

[peacheslatour]

Quote

Billy and Dummer kissing!

Jesus, kill me now. Thanks for the bannana cap!

"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in."

Edited August 2, 2018 by peacheslatour

[HeatLifer]

22 minutes ago, bannana said:

Jack and Phyllis in a very close tete a tete, and him saying he will always look out for her, and she is smiling. Billy and Dummer kissing!

“Don’t ~worry~ Philly fanz Mal listenz to me” -Gina Tognoni

[Pickles]

So icky and inappropriate Shawna staying with Devon. 

[valleycliffe]

FUCK YOU MAL.

[peacheslatour]

What valley said.

[NinjaPenguins]

You know who they should throw together? Cane and Phyllis. They’re both completely awful and total shit human beings who way overestimate their own hotness. Those two bullies deserve each other. 

Devon having Shauna live in the condo doesn’t have to be skeevy. Of course Mal Young is writing...

Jack should always look out for Phyllis. It’s easier to run the other way when you can see her coming.

1 hour ago, bannana said:

. Billy and Dummer kissing!

Wheeee! I’m here for it.

So Phyllis and Nick are such desperate assholes that they need to meet at the scene of their crime, assure each other they’d still hit that and then go stroke their own egos with the romantic partners they cheated on. Sounds like them. Hate.

[spinxella]

[MollyB]

so the theme of the day is Hide What Evil You Do Because It Couldn't Possibly Be Your Fault and Take A Spa Day.

I am appalled.  What little respect I had for Neel went sliding down the fire pole.  He knows about Lily's distracted driving that resulted in a death which, to me, is a criminal offense and he suggests a spa day!!!! My man!  And add Cane, Charlie and Maria who also hop on the Feggeddaboudit Train to threaten the Nasty Snitches Devon and Shawna. My only hope here is that in GC jurisprudence, these creeps will be considered accessories after the fact.

This other shit with JT and his what by now has to be the rankest gravesite ever or at the very least the most widely-distributed-by-wild-animal-remains known to the civilized world, confuses me.  Why haven't these neverbeenclosefriends not turned on each other already?  Is there some Law in GC that prevents people from fessing up to their misdeeds or turning in other miscreants?* Does a spa day eliminate the need for baring one's soul? Let's all send a MassageEnvy groupon for the Gang of Four.

*although it looks like Phyllis may be scheduled for a fall-after all, it's her fault that Drinnki beaned JT.  Proof of that is that she didn't want to call the cops which means she is guilty. So there.  No Spa Day for Phylthy.

Please, show, I beg you.  Do not show us sex between NonotBilly and Dummer.  I'm an old woman and just reading about it here could cause serious health issues.

Fuck You, Mal

Edited August 3, 2018 by MollyB
because it cannot be said enough

[crowsworks]

On 8/2/2018 at 5:40 PM, HeatLifer said:

“Don’t ~worry~ Philly fanz Mal listenz to me” -Gina Tognoni

I WAS kidding about a GT three way WTD story. If they do it make Jack the papa cause Butt and Banana have enough kids being raised by wolves.

[PatsyandEddie]

JMHO but Shauna is a pain in the ass. Hilary’s funeral was not the place to drop her bomb. Yes, Cane was an idiot for keeping the truth from Lily and making Charlie lie but Lily really didn’t know what happened.  Lily had a much longer history with Hil which was massively unpleasant. Hilary had screwed the whole family and generally, Hilary was a bitch. Yes, Shauna she took you in but then ignored you. Lily has been a shrew which hasn’t helped. Charlie has been thinking with his dick. Something is off with Shauna and I am wary of what’s next. 

Because it cannot be said enough, STFU PhyllAss. It isn’t always about you, you are a hypocrite and your choice of funeral wear was dumb. Fuck off Mal. 

[jewel21]

I'm trying to picture a scenario where I would be hanging around the kitchen in a towel with my mother and her boyfriend, and no one would think it was weird. . WTF is wrong with these Summers women? Also, please excuse me while I go vomit from the image of me in a towel in front of my mother's boyfriend. Ick. 

[crowsworks]

7 minutes ago, jewel21 said:

I'm trying to picture a scenario where I would be hanging around the kitchen in a towel with my mother and her boyfriend, and no one would think it was weird. . WTF is wrong with these Summers women? Also, please excuse me while I go vomit from the image of me in a towel in front of my mother's boyfriend. Ick. 

 

And former uncle - Dummer is a Newman. 

[spinxella]

?

[Anna Yolei]

On 7/24/2018 at 7:19 PM, jewel21 said:

When my grandmother was sick with cancer, no one told her that most people with her type of lymphoma only live around 5-10 years. She was always frustrated she couldn't beat the cancer. Even when she became terminal, my family kept it from her because they didn't want her to 'give up' and 'stop fighting.' I was 18 at the time, and my opinion didn't matter to the adults, but it still pisses me off to this day because she never had time to say her goodbyes and put her affairs in order. This storyline is pissing me off the same way. Yes, Hilary knows now, but that's only because Phyllis told her. Devon should have been the one to tell her, or her doctors. 

Late to the party, but I hate this "everyone knows before the patient" trope in TV too. Soaps are the worst at this. I still laugh thinking back to ATWT after Emily flung herself off a cliff while unknowingly pregnant and somehow Dr. Hughes managed to tell Paul, Meg( his girlfriend or soon-to-be GF by then), Hal (her soon-to-be ex-husband), Jennifer, Dusty and probably half the rest of the cast before she even got the chance to wake up!

4 hours ago, spinxella said:

?

Yaaaaaaaaaas!

I don't even want context....just....fuck Cane. ???

10 hours ago, crowsworks said:

I WAS kidding about a GT three way WTD story. If they do it make Jack the papa cause Butt and Banana have enough kids being raised by wolves.

Do ya really want Jack permanently tied to Phyllis, though? ;)She's far too old to he having kids anyway. Summer was a miracle (ha!) that she wasn't even expected to have, and same for that other blueberry she lost yelling at Daisy.

[NinjaPenguins]

Thank you for sharing that Cane clip, spinxella. If you’ll all excuse me, I’ll be in my bunk...

[peacheslatour]

1 hour ago, NinjaPenguins said:

Thank you for sharing that Cane clip, spinxella. If you’ll all excuse me, I’ll be in my bunk...

Got a little thing for this Nate fella?

[NinjaPenguins]

I got a thing for Cane being humiliated. ?

[film noire]

On 8/2/2018 at 6:41 PM, NinjaPenguins said:

Cane and Phyllis. They’re both completely awful and total shit human beings who way overestimate their own hotness. Those two bullies deserve each other. 

 Plus,  a perfect couple name, Cillus! (Pronounced with a hard C. Like creepy, cringeworthy, crazy, killus...) 

 

Quote

@NinjaPenguins I got a thing for Cane being humiliated.

He grows more furtive with every passing year -- he always looks like he's about to sidle into a closet and pleasure himself looking at Japanese octopus porn.

 

Quote

  I'm an old woman and just reading about it here could cause serious health issues.

It's so decadent, it's beyond mocking  -- they dropped a #metoo moment into a goddamn SOAP OPERA and they're playing it for heat and sex and end-of-summer fun? Screw them. 

Edited August 7, 2018 by film noire

[boes]

5 hours ago, film noire said:

He grows more furtive with every passing year -- he always looks like he's about to sidle into a closet and pleasure himself looking at Japanese octopus porn.

I like the way you think!  That's exactly something that cow tipping,  talking cow pattie would do.

[jewel21]

Cane is working my last nerve. Shut up you stupid Aussie turd. 

Michael, as a lawyer, perhaps you should have told Lily exactly how serious the charges against her would be instead of having her tell Paul on tape how she caused the accident, is guilty, and is the reason Hillary is dead. Yelling at her after the fact is pointless. You know she's dim-witted, you have to spell these things out for her using crayons and stick figures. 

Ashley is back to squash Billy's dubious activities since taking over Jabot. I hope she calls a board meeting and he gets thrown out on his ass. He is also working my last nerve. 

Oh, Jack. Don't be in love with Phyllis. She's not worthy of you! And stupid Summer is convinced that Jack is the one Phyllis slept with after she broke up with Billy. Nope, dumb dumb, that would be your Daddy. I'm still not sure what her end goal is? Does she just want to break her mom and Billy up, or does she actually want to sleep with Billy? Because one, ewwww. and two, dude was like your uncle for the longest time.  She really did suffer some brain damage after the whole peanut incident. 

[peacheslatour]

I never thought I'd say this but dayum, I'm going to miss Ashley. ?

Edited August 7, 2018 by peacheslatour

[bannana]

It was kind of hilarious to see Ashley reap what she sowed.  She was determined to put Billy in as CEO and now he is so out of control that he is blocking his COO.  A Board meeting would take care this problem.  For some reason, Ash was calling those every five minutes when Jack was in charge and now she is seemingly powerless.

Yes, as @jewel21 points out, Michael, you are a shitty lawyer.  AFTER Paulie interviews Lily, you tell her what she should not have said and the potential consequences of her actions, including a prison sentence.  Why did she even have you there, you useless POS?

[pearlite]

9 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

I never thought I'd say this but dayum, I'm going to miss Ashley. ?

From my table for one: I'm always going to miss Ashley and ED.

[Pop Tart]

9 hours ago, bannana said:

It was kind of hilarious to see Ashley reap what she sowed.  She was determined to put Billy in as CEO and now he is so out of control that he is blocking his COO.  A Board meeting would take care this problem.  For some reason, Ash was calling those every five minutes when Jack was in charge and now she is seemingly powerless.

This. Plus it was a little rich for Lauren to be bemoaning Billy as CEO and also wishing Jack were back in charge. Didn't Jack go to Lauren when he was ousted because of the blood clause (I can barely type that it's so stupid) and ask her to support him calling another board vote to change the clause? Or something along those lines? 

[boes]

3 hours ago, Pop Tart said:

This. Plus it was a little rich for Lauren to be bemoaning Billy as CEO and also wishing Jack were back in charge. Didn't Jack go to Lauren when he was ousted because of the blood clause (I can barely type that it's so stupid) and ask her to support him calling another board vote to change the clause? Or something along those lines? 

I don't remember the details, but Lauren was dismissive, suspicious, contemptuous and a general grumbler when Jack was in charge, and she thought ButtBiscuit was just dandy.

She can sashay her Sunset Boulevard behind right into business bankruptcy for all I care.

Oh, has Show forgotten she's ButtBiscuit's aunt, or do they wish we would?

Edited August 7, 2018 by boes

[peacheslatour]

I don't care who does it, I want to see Buttbiscuit curb stomped and the Phyllis/Dummer hydra (In modern English, hydra or hydra-headed can describe a difficult or multifarious situation. The name hydra has been assigned to a genus of invertebrate freshwater animals having a circlet of 4 to 25 tentacles on one end of its tubelike body.) thrown off a cliff into a volcano.

[jewel21]

Yup, both Lauren and Ashely were all pro Billy until his true nature starting showing itself and now they're both crying. While part of me wants to stick my tongue out at them and go 'neener neener,' the other part of me wants Ashely to squash Billy like the bug that he is. I'm so conflicted. 

[Cindyluwho]

Jaboutique?   Seriously?!?  

[jewel21]

Haha, I know! Dumbest name ever. And he's opening 30 of them. Maybe start with 10 and work your way up?

Summer is also working my last nerve. 

Devon fired Lily. I was waiting for that to happen. Lily's face was priceless though. 

Since they want to find a co-host for Mariah I'm totally scared they're going to try and approach Phyllis since she's so 'snarky' and all that. I hope I'm wrong. 

I'm liking Kyle more and more and it's making me feel sleazy. 

[NinjaPenguins]

Jaboutique can’t be real. It just can’t be. What will they sell there? Jablouses? Jablush? Other jabeauty products? 

What the jafuck?

[boes]

5 hours ago, Cindyluwho said:

Jaboutique?   Seriously?!?  

He's a JaJerk and he's full of JaShit.  That's our JaButtBiscuit.

Now I'm hoping to see him JaFIRED, and JaSoon.

1 hour ago, NinjaPenguins said:

Jaboutique can’t be real. It just can’t be. What will they sell there? Jablouses? Jablush? Other jabeauty products? 

What the jafuck?

You can get a Jaboat load of JaBullshit wholesale there.

I almost forgot!  Undoubtedly, they also sell Jajockstraps, modeled on the one and only ButtBiscuit original - one half of a cocktail wiener (HOW our Phyllis loooooves her cocktails!) and two junior mints.

It's jalovely.

Edited August 8, 2018 by boes