S07.E08: Back To Reality

[humbleopinion]

Think Amber would be  fabulous STEPMOTHER to pre teen/teen kids.

She would love those kids unconditionally because she is not a mean or spiteful person...Namaeste....

She would do better with a husband who will happily pay for all her beauty needs, give her the verbal support and the abundance of compliments she craves.

Provide her with household help to care for Paisley and the home.

Amber can decide to continue to work or become a lady who lunches.

[LilaFowler]

6 hours ago, stuckin60s said:

my thoughts jump all over the page with this season.

if they all moved into the men's established homes... why are there stickers on the bottom of the glasses and decorations?

(snip)

Really? Where did you spot the tags?

[stuckin60s]

LilaFowler, in Daves house when they were drinking and in Bobbys

 

I am re-watching this episode.  Where Amber and Dave are talking about her 7.5.  She is upset.  They have already talked about her not doing the agreed chores.  She doesn't like getting a C she only likes getting an A.. Lady,,,,,  you have to work on getting an A.  She is so stuck up her own...  she cant see anything but her.  Also thinking about Dave, others have said that he adds fuel to fire.  I was wondering with his age and his career, especially career, would that not make him slow to respond and to think things through?

 

Also where Tristen is talking with Mia about the dating ap. He said he cant trust her..   In her TH she says something about she got married so they would be happy  yada yada yada, and not to be questioned and not trusted.  Really - she doesnt even think she has done anything wrong

[StatisticalOutlier]

3 minutes ago, stuckin60s said:

I am re-watching this episode.  Where Amber and Dave are talking about her 7.5.  She is upset.  They have already talked about her not doing the agreed chores.  She doesn't like getting a C she only likes getting an A.

But a C is 75 out of 100.  This is 7.5 out of 10, so it's not necessarily a grade like that.  As I said above, Dave said he thought it was a good score, so I think he was looking at it as 5 out of 10 is average, and 7.5 is pretty good--in the top 25%.  Which is MUCH higher than a C.

[Palomar]

Sorry Amber, if you want to be rated more than 7.5 (and more importantly have a successful marriage) you might "want to" do things for your husband, not because you "have to" but because you like doing things for him.  I don't mean doing tons of extra work or a one-sided situation where it is always one doing all the work.  It's just the little things that count and that you remember.  And that goes for Dave too, doing little extra things for Amber.  There's a lot of work in marriage, the little things are appreciated. I'd say doing the cooking is a good trade off for doing laundry (without complaining about it) especially when you are the one who said you would do it. 

Edited August 24, 2018 by Palomar

[LilaFowler]

40 minutes ago, stuckin60s said:

LilaFowler, in Daves house when they were drinking and in Bobbys

 

I am re-watching this episode.  Where Amber and Dave are talking about her 7.5.  She is upset.  They have already talked about her not doing the agreed chores.  She doesn't like getting a C she only likes getting an A.. Lady,,,,,  you have to work on getting an A.  She is so stuck up her own...  she cant see anything but her.  Also thinking about Dave, others have said that he adds fuel to fire.  I was wondering with his age and his career, especially career, would that not make him slow to respond and to think things through?

 

Also where Tristen is talking with Mia about the dating ap. He said he cant trust her..   In her TH she says something about she got married so they would be happy  yada yada yada, and not to be questioned and not trusted.  Really - she doesnt even think she has done anything wrong

Ah, I figured it would be Tristan's condo. It looks like he haphazardly moved in before filming because he had been living with his mother.

[Jeanne222]

Amber and Dave.  I can tell why those two never married.  He can't just give it up and give the poor woman a 10.  It would not hurt him and might make her like him more.  Most men and women know that.  He's being real and real doesn't matter in marriage.  Give em what they want.  I'm sure she got the extra over a 5 because she's good in bed.

What the heck does she do?  She eats and she work and she plays with her cat.   Oh yes she shops.  A real catch.

To be fair Dave is so darn judgemental.  With Amber's insecurities I can see where everything he says seems like a put down to her.

Fringy  to say the best on their marriage lasting.  BTW I'm still hung up on the health club guy she dated and Dave knows.

Danielle and Bobby are kind of cute.  She always seems the age and never older.  They seem to have it together and with her long commute he is a sweetie getting her off to work every day.  They like each others dogs and I was thinking this was all good until the peek at next week with Bobby's head hanging???  WTH

Then there is Tristan and Mia.  Once a cheater always a cheater.  He just can't trust her and it's eating him alive no matter how many sessions he has with the 'experts'.  I think he has a boatload of money and that's what's keeping her around.  She's what he asked for except..the cheating.  That's a big one.

[Matty]

I'm convinced the experts cast Mia for the drama she would bring fully aware she is a hot mess. Lying is like breathing for her. It comes so easily and naturally. 

I think Dave is gaslighting Amber. It was just a set up question from Pastor Cal for the sake of discussion. Why rate Amber only 7.5 and than tell her that? Boost it .5 to an 8, Dave. That just sounds better. He says things that play on Amber's insecurities. Of course, someone with higher self esteem wouldn't worry about this stuff so much but that's not Amber. Dave knows that and he's playing off that.

Sweet that Bobby rated Danielle a ten. When is the other shoe going to drop? Is this it for their story? They lived happily after.

[humbleopinion]

The next chapter is Henry gets fit and pictures of him in a handsome hunting vest with Nellie out retrieving ducks come hunting season.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

3 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

What the heck does she do?  She eats and she work and she plays with her cat.   Oh yes she shops.  A real catch.

To be fair Dave is so darn judgemental.  With Amber's insecurities I can see where everything he says seems like a put down to her.

Exactly. People are totally focused now on Amber being "lazy" and/or "entitled," a "high maintenance" woman who expects lavish praise without her having to put in any effort whatsoever to make their marriage work.

As an older 'feminist' myself, I do understand the symbolic significance of being criticized for not wanting to do 'little woman' chores for your husband. Being dependent on a man might be one of Amber's many fears, one more thing that she's insecure about when it comes to relationships.

As a wife and mother, I also know it's important to do what has to be done, regardless. If your hubby's chasing a hard deadline at work, you help out with stuff he would normally do --and vice-versa.  But Amber just doesn't 'get' the reciprocity thing. 

And Dave does give off some vibes that bother me. I can see Dave someday being one of those guys who thinks he's being generous for "babysitting" his own kids, instead of going out and having fun with his "bros".

In any case, Amber should never have volunteered to do the laundry as her chore, if she wasn't going to make good on that promise. That's absolutely not cool, and there's no acceptable excuse for it.

 

Quote

BTW I'm still hung up on the health club guy she dated and Dave knows.

Me, too. Did you notice that Amber indirectly brought up the gym thing with Dave's "wifeys group" friends? She was speculating whether the Jessica Biel celeb crush drama explained why Dave had never "hit on her" at the gym. The other "wifeys" didn't seem at all surprised by that comment, so I guess they'd all heard about it...

Edited August 24, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[scruffy73]

6 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

But a C is 75 out of 100.  This is 7.5 out of 10, so it's not necessarily a grade like that.  As I said above, Dave said he thought it was a good score, so I think he was looking at it as 5 out of 10 is average, and 7.5 is pretty good--in the top 25%.  Which is MUCH higher than a C.

75/100 = 7.5/10. Same C

[StatisticalOutlier]

1 hour ago, scruffy73 said:

75/100 = 7.5/10. Same C

No, not the same, because a 75 becomes a "C" (a/k/a "average") on a scale of 1-100 only in the context of grades like those given in school, and is an arbitrary number to define what is considered passing. 

So take away the "grades in school" context, and on a scale of 1-10, a 5 would be average or in the middle.  On a scale of 1-100, a 50 would be average or in the middle.

Think of it this way--if a person had to score something on a scale of 1-50, I bet 25 would be considered average because it's obviously in the middle.  People wouldn't do the math and come up with 37.5 as "average," but that's what "average" is if 75 is average on a scale of 1-100.

And Dave did say he thought he gave her a good score, which tells me he wasn't using the "grades in school" convention where 70 is a "C" or average. 

In other news, do women really want to be lied to?  Amber and Dave have already had conflicts--if he rated her a 10, she'd have to know he's lying.  How in the world would that make her feel better?  And not only would she know he's lying, she'd have to sit there and think of all the deductions he should have taken to come up with a more realistic score, and it wasn't her job to do that.

Edited August 24, 2018 by StatisticalOutlier
Changed comma to period; didn't notice originally because I thought it was one of those gnats that's flying around driving me crazy.

[LennieBriscoe]

Neither Amber nor Dave is The Great Communicator.

Amber, IMO, meant that she couldn't see herself working and then coming home to chore after chore after chore, striving to be the hot wife with the hubby's hot meal.

Dave is simply an idiot, going from "Jessica Biel" to "7.5" in 60 seconds. THIS time he should've said "10," and worried about "reality" later on!

[Booger666]

Are Dave and Amber on this forum?  I thought he said he was grading it like his score was above average but room for improvement, and she was hearing it as a “C” which is an average score.  They were using different scoring methods and those two should just agree to disagree.

[TVJunkee]

On ‎8‎/‎22‎/‎2018 at 10:14 AM, Waterlilly said:

I wondered about the different headboard/no headboard on their bed?????

Headboard?  What about no sheets?  they are always lying on the bare mattress.  It was making me hate them more.

And I don't know how many times I said aloud "just go do the laundry". 

Go Bobby and Danielle.

[humbleopinion]

Am positive Dave will say more things that will put Amber in a “state of heightened paranoia” if we can steal that phrase from Mia.

In the tease, he mentions a overpowering smell...

Only two places the offensive odor can originate...Amber or the horse pulling the Cinderella cage carriage.

Unless I see the Thompsons strip the bed of that bodily fluid stained mattress pad that Tristan seems to always be reclined on...then I am in a heightened state of eww, gross me out.

Edited August 24, 2018 by humbleopinion

[humbleopinion]

Tristan is thinking of moving to Houston to open another Tutoring Club franchise with his high rise in the sky (shout out to the Jeffersons theme song) lease up at the end of the month.

Solution: Move into Mia’s Place and commute.

Hourly flights from Dallas to Houston.

Traffic congestion is bad in both cities so getting to and from the airports will be longer than the flights.

But no...

Stay tuned for a Thompson-Bally lunch filled fake drama.

Mia’s sister over reacting with Dad still giving Tristan the side eye.

Would rather they talk about Mia’s arrest and the embarrassment to the family and Tristan’s family and reputation.

But no.....

Edited August 24, 2018 by humbleopinion

[Crazy Bird Lady]

1 hour ago, Booger666 said:

Are Dave and Amber on this forum?  I thought he said he was grading it like his score was above average but room for improvement, and she was hearing it as a “C” which is an average score.  They were using different scoring methods and those two should just agree to disagree.

But they won't... Amber doesn't believe him about that, and frankly, considering the guys had to know they'd be asked about it, I can see why. Even Mia got an 8 from her husband!

Edited August 24, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[humbleopinion]

Am positive Amber thought her performances between the sheets  was more than making up for her failure to do Dave’s laundry.

Stupid man should just let a nothing burger task like putting laundry into his washing machine with sport detergent, take them out and dry on cool setting or hang them up to air dry get in the way of propping her up in front of Cal and the other grooms with a good wife score.

Dave must not like full access sexy time....

Edited August 24, 2018 by humbleopinion

[humbleopinion]

For those keeping track of the doggies...

Roman, the golden retriever pup gone...and a taller skinner golden furred doggie was in the bedroom with Bobby, Danielle.

[Lusterleaf]

Why did Amber even go on this show? She doesn't want to share responsibilities in a marriage. If she wanted a kid all she had to do was go to a sperm bank and she could have done it on her own. I really can't stand her segments on this show because her constantly whining about her insecurities is annoying. She was harping on the 7.5 rating for half the episode. I don't know how Dave hasn't ended it yet.

Tristan should have ended things with Mia after she lied about her record/charges. It's like that saying, Fool me once....

I like Bobby & Danielle and think they're sweet together but I'm just waiting for something wrong to happen... hopefully it doesn't but it just seems too good to be true for MAFS standards lol..

[gonecrackers]

45 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Even Mia got an 8 from her husband!

Tristan has the 'experts' in his ears & isn't thinking straight.

[humbleopinion]

Tristan gave his wife the marriage sanctioned sex is celebrated Wifey ratings curve up to an 8.

Even if it is I don’t trust you while I’m getting my humps approved in the eyes of their church sex.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

10 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

Tristan has the 'experts' in his ears & isn't thinking straight.

Absolutely true. But rating wives overall --not just on appearance-- Amber should definitely have gotten a higher score than Mia! 

[And this is irrelevant, but if they were rating on appearance, I think Mia should have gotten about a 4.]

[gonecrackers]

2 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Absolutely true. But rating wives overall --not just on appearance-- Amber should definitely have gotten a higher score than Mia! 

The lack of trust issue should have scored Mia a 3 at best - that 3 would be just for the sex... & okay, 4 if she does the laundry.

Edited August 24, 2018 by gonecrackers
word adjustment

[Crazy Bird Lady]

3 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Am positive Amber thought her performances between the sheets  was more than making up for her failure to do Dave’s laundry.

Stupid man should just let a nothing burger task like putting laundry into his washing machine with sport detergent, take them out and dry on cool setting or hang them up to air dry get in the way of propping her up in front of Cal and the other grooms with a good wife score.

Dave must not like full access sexy time....

 

Dave is a jerk for rating Amber the way he did. I think it was largely based on his seething resentment (*not* open and honest!) that Amber had never done her "one chore" -- washing his clothes as well as her own. 

I say Dave was being a jerk because he wasn't being "open and honest" about it.  When Dave rated Amber to Pastor Cal he was basing that partly on Amber not doing his laundry --yet, he never told Amber that he resented it until afterward.

I do agree with Humbleopinion, (but perhaps not for the same reasons).  If you've already decided you're going to want a divorce at the end of the show and you're just trying to 'do your time' as pleasantly as possible, it's much smarter to keep that temporary spouse as happy as possible, avoiding 'brutal honesty'.

(Especially since it appears they've been pretty much having sex daily, and that part of it, Dave does like!!)

 

3 hours ago, Lusterleaf said:

Why did Amber even go on this show? She doesn't want to share responsibilities in a marriage. If she wanted a kid all she had to do was go to a sperm bank and she could have done it on her own. ...I don't know how Dave hasn't ended it yet.

Tristan should have ended things with Mia after she lied about her record/charges. It's like that saying, Fool me once....

I don't know the details of the contracts these MAFS spouses sign, but it's pretty obvious they're under a lot of pressure to at least stick it out till the show ends.

 

3 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Tristan gave his wife the marriage sanctioned sex is celebrated Wifey ratings curve up to an 8.

Even if it is I don’t trust you while I’m getting my humps approved in the eyes of their church sex.

Which is definitely smarter than what Dave did.

Edited August 24, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[LennieBriscoe]

So okay,  Amber did NOT learn the lesson about never asking a question if..... 

But Davey Boy needs to learn HIS Lesson #1:

Never downgrade or badmouth the spouse in public.

Corollary: A pastor, 2 acquaintances, and a national audience constitute "in public." (What? You expected a joke? ?)

"So how was your day? Hey, get this: Pastor Cal asked us husbands to RANK our wives! Yeah, on a scale of 1 to 10! Me? I rated you a 10, of course! I WAS going to say '11,' but then I remembered I did my own laundry yesterday, haha!"

[humbleopinion]

Dave’s and Amber’s storyline is being amped up to give Tristan and Mia some competition for drama and screen time. 

Instead of Dave saying...Hey Amber, think you could have my lucky golf shorts washed by the weekend?

Then she would say...what are you talking about, Willis? 

He would remind her of the laundry pact she agreed to....but nope, he called her out with the cameras on...and as if on cue, Amber says something she doesn’t remotely mean, it is if her brain glitches.

While we are charmed and are rooting for by America’s Sweethearts...Bobby and Danielle Dodd, they are The Duds when it comes fake conflict, histrionics, and emotional outbursts.

Now if they are fake and too  good to be true...I will be flipping tables.

Edited August 24, 2018 by humbleopinion

[humbleopinion]

Dave adjusts his newly found halo and is not going to have the foundation of his marriage built on lies...even tiny, harmless ones that makes Amber more confident that she is still has a chance to last on Decision Day.

Nope, Dave thinks he looks like a prince by taking the high ground with truth but the audience knows his low ball wifey score is a bag of dicks move.

[Remdiamond]

2 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

we are charmed and are rooting for by America’s Sweethearts...Bobby and Danielle Dodd, they are The Duds when it comes fake conflict, histrionics, and emotional outbursts.

Now

Totally agree! I actually think they will be on the new spin-off. I had thought maybe Dave and Amber too but that one I’m less optimistic.

[humbleopinion]

I am hoping that Bobby, Danielle and the pups sign on for the new spin off show with Shawniece, Jephte and Jephtina.

Danielle's 15K debt and outstanding student loan debts can be taken care of and they will be able to afford their monthly expenditures and Bobby's savings account can be left intact.

Danielle will get restless if the Dodds can't take any vacations...Danielle has a gypsy soul like Jacklyn....

Going duck hunting is not a vacation.....

[Kiss my mutt]

Maybe the experts should have provided a rubrix for scoring since it’s open to interpretation. 

[Neurochick]

I think the show and the experts are letting Mia hang herself.  The producers have to be very upset with her.  She lied to them.  I'm sure they had days of shooting scheduled in Mexico, at the resort where they would stay.  But that did not happen.  Mia screwed it all up.

I think they could have told Tristan he could have an annulment in this situation.  Mia lied to the show, not just to Tristan.  She knew there was a warrant out, she knew what she had done and never mentioned it.  That's not right, to anybody.

Then I think about that Pastor Cal article, about how hard it is to find black people who want to marry other black people.  I believe him.  They're between a rock and a hard place, people say, "where's the diversity?" So there is pressure to have some.

An acquaintance and I were reading this board.  She thought you guys were being hard on Mia, "are they all angels here?  None of them have lied about anything, ever?"  I reminded her of that TV movie I saw in 1984, "The Lost Honor of Kathryn Beck," where a woman's life is turned upside down because of a one night stand she has with a man who happens to be some "Weather Underground" type person who was wanted by the FBI.  It's a scary movie because all during it I thought, "all this woman did was sleep with this man, and they're trying to turn her into a terrorist."  And that movie was made BEFORE the 24 hour all news cable channels. 

I keep thinking about Heather and Dave (I think that was his name).  I'm sure, even though it was never said on the show, that he smoked pot.  What if he'd been arrested for pot and Heather was with him, not smoking, but got arrested anyway?  What if they were in a foreign country?  She could have lost her job.

Think about Tristan.  What if he met Mia in real life and they were about to go on a cruise or something and suddenly both of them were arrested?  Tristan for harboring a fugitive or something like that.  His whole life could have been turned upside down, because of Mia.  Truth is stranger than fiction.

[Marsh]

5 hours ago, Neurochick said:

An acquaintance and I were reading this board.  She thought you guys were being hard on Mia, "are they all angels here?  None of them have lied about anything, ever?"  

Is that you Mia? ? 

 

I think being hard on her is justified because she lied to the world, the "experts", and her spouse about being arrested for stealing and stalking her recent ex.  It was identity theft?  You never heard of the alleged victim?  ..But then it wasn't?  And you used to date the guy? 

 

Nope, I don't have any comparable lies in my life.  Not even close.  And I live on the edge..(of my couch when I watch TV).

And if I find out she lied to Mama Tristan about anything.... Ugh.  Cause we like her and she's a very nice lady.

[KateHearts]

18 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Dave is a jerk for rating Amber the way he did. I think it was largely based on his seething resentment (*not* open and honest!) that Amber had never done her "one chore" -- washing his clothes as well as her own. 

I say Dave was being a jerk because he wasn't being "open and honest" about it.  When Dave rated Amber to Pastor Cal he was basing that partly on Amber not doing his laundry --yet, he never told Amber that he resented it until afterward.

 I don't see it this way at all.  Pastor Cal asked the guys to rate their marriages.  Which is a stupid, stupid idea for any marriage, but especially for three marriages that have lasted approximately 3 weeks, where the couples have not gone through any major true marital stressors (illness, children, money issues, etc). I think Dave was honest... how can you really rank something that fresh at a 10 and have anyone believe you? He enjoys Amber's company but they are still fresh out of the gate and are ironing things out. Totally normal.

After the fact, Amber grills him about the meetup and Dave honestly tells her that they were asked to rank their wives.  He's not given many details as to what goes into his rating, but he is honest (unlike some of these people) and tells her he gave her a 7.5.  Commence the interrogation: "why? You only gave me that? what for? Details!" and Dave then has to justify his rating.  So he comes up with a comment like "well, we were going to divide the chores more evenly..." and then they begin the whole trip down the laundry rabbit-hole.  I really don't think for a minute he was seething with resentment over the maybe 10 days they've lived in his house about her not doing laundry.  She wanted some concrete explanation, and he provided one.

Perhaps he could have just said, "hey, we aren't in love yet; it's early and I figure I'll give the marriage room to grow. Besides, Pastor Cal is an idiot for asking that question and it's meaningless!"  But Dave is a bit socially awkward. Add to that Amber's insecurities and neediness, and it's a bad situation. She's the type to immediately jumps to worst case scenario. ("I don't look like his celebrity crush so it's hopeless!")

[Real Housewife LI]

I feel like Danielle and bobby are the Anthony and Ashley of this season...hey truly want it to work...have little drama so the show will focus on any tiny little thing to make you wonder if it will work....why can’t they just be like wow we did a good job for a change

[CousinOliver]

My sweetheart and I watch this show together and we both thought Dave was lying and giving Amber a higher score with the 7.5.  There are obviously issues there and we'd have thought he'd honestly give her a 5, and that's really just for the "rockin body" that he mentioned a few times in early episodes.  We think that's why he was so shocked by her response.  He *was* lying so she'd look good/not be embarrassed. 

I'm a professor and I tell my students that a C is average-- that is, it's what I expect.  It's not bad, but there's no A or even B without doing more that what's expected.  A is not for average.  

Personally, I find Amber to be way below average.  But, I couldn't deal with someone who was insecure, entitled, or unwilling to help with the household.  Being a straight woman, I'm not swayed by the "rockin body."

[humbleopinion]

Warm fuzzy feelings, marital bliss and contentment is an audience killer for basic cable reality shows.....so Bobby and Danielle get little screen time...

For fans of Team Dobby and the dogs, you can expect their minutes dwindle down to fewer and fewer as Tristan/Mia and Dave/Amber take over with their drama and conflict.

[gonecrackers]

All the men should've told 'Pastor' Cal they would not be rating their wives, as it's not fair to them & they are still just getting to know them & settle into their lives together, then suggest a more helpful exercise to actually help each in their marriages.

But that wouldn't work on Reality TV.

So we have a cold, critical man rating his new insecure wife. I believe Dave knew that was not a 'good' score for any woman & he also knew, due to Amber's obvious insecurities, that she would not take it well. His behavior incites more of her behavior, & so it goes.

They don't belong together.

Edited August 25, 2018 by gonecrackers
emphasis

[Crazy Bird Lady]

58 minutes ago, KateHearts said:

 I don't see it this way at all.  Pastor Cal asked the guys to rate their marriages.  Which is a stupid, stupid idea for any marriage, but especially for three marriages that have lasted approximately 3 weeks, where the couples have not gone through any major true marital stressors (illness, children, money issues, etc). I think Dave was honest... how can you really rank something that fresh at a 10 and have anyone believe you? He enjoys Amber's company but they are still fresh out of the gate and are ironing things out. Totally normal.

After the fact, Amber grills him about the meetup and Dave honestly tells her that they were asked to rank their wives.  He's not given many details as to what goes into his rating, but he is honest (unlike some of these people) and tells her he gave her a 7.5.  Commence the interrogation: "why? You only gave me that? what for? Details!" and Dave then has to justify his rating.  So he comes up with a comment like "well, we were going to divide the chores more evenly..." and then they begin the whole trip down the laundry rabbit-hole.  I really don't think for a minute he was seething with resentment over the maybe 10 days they've lived in his house about her not doing laundry.  She wanted some concrete explanation, and he provided one.

Perhaps he could have just said, "hey, we aren't in love yet; it's early and I figure I'll give the marriage room to grow. Besides, Pastor Cal is an idiot for asking that question and it's meaningless!"  But Dave is a bit socially awkward. Add to that Amber's insecurities and neediness, and it's a bad situation. She's the type to immediately jumps to worst case scenario. ("I don't look like his celebrity crush so it's hopeless!")

Seems like we'll just have to agree to disagree on a lot of this. But I totally agree with you about how ridiculously stupid it was for Pastor Cal to ask the men to "rate" their wives!   ...And by the way --after the fact, all three wives ask their husbands what happened with Pastor Cal, and when they were told about the 'rating wives' thing, all three wives asked what rating they got.

Amber was the only one who got really upset about her rating --but of course, her rating was the lowest. 

[LuvMyShows]

I think maybe some of the differences about the whole Dave-is-bad rating thing, is our fundamental views on lying as a whole, lying to placate and keep the peace, what constitutes lying, how you feel about being lied to, etc.  I'm in the camp that other than the social niceties lies with people not in your inner circle (when someone asks how you are and you say "fine" even though you're not...someone asks if you'd like more food and you say you're full but really it's just because you don't want any more of that bad food), a lie is a lie.  If a husband or wife insists that they don't want any presents for their birthday, then they should not receive any presents for their birthday.  If partners can't take statements at face value, then the burden gets placed on the recipient of the statements to guess at whether their partner is telling them the truth or not, and that is crazy-making and a recipe for communication breakdowns.  And the flip side is, don't ask the question if you can't maturely take the answer (looking at you, Amber).  And the flip flip side is, speak your truth rather than hide it (looking at you, Dave).  Trust is precious, as we've all seen with Tristan and Mia, and is hard (sometimes impossible) to regain.

[humbleopinion]

If Mia hadn't gotten arrested what would her marriage to Tristan be like?

 I don't think Mia would have had sex so soon into the marriage.

Her posture would be better, she wouldn't be folded into herself, chin down, under Tristan's armpit....

Tristan and she would have made their marriage faith based like Sheila and Nate...

What do you think their marriage would be like without the felonious arrest?

[Crazy Bird Lady]

35 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

If Mia hadn't gotten arrested what would her marriage to Tristan be like?

 I don't think Mia would have had sex so soon into the marriage.

Her posture would be better, she wouldn't be folded into herself, chin down, under Tristan's armpit....

Tristan and she would have made their marriage faith based like Sheila and Nate...

What do you think their marriage would be like without the felonious arrest?

I'll take that bait. I don't think their marriage would have worked without the felonious arrest, because Mia would still be Mia. She would probably still lie whenever she's confronted or threatened. She's also uber-emotional, and that sometimes leads her to extreme behavior. 

(But of course, it would have been 'paradise' in the beginning --after all, God meant them to be together. )

Edited August 25, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[Blissfool]

On 8/24/2018 at 1:25 AM, LennieBriscoe said:

 

Dave is simply an idiot, going from "Jessica Biel" to "7.5" in 60 seconds. THIS time he should've said "10," and worried about "reality" later on!

Hmmmm....its like Dave says things he knows will offend/hurt Amber. He doesn't sugarcoat or coddle or tell little white lies to spare her feelings.

Amber: "I still can't believe you gave me a 7.5."

Dave: "Yep. I sure did."

That man don't like that woman. Shouldn't he be saying "all the right things" right now, in the honeymoon stage?

[humbleopinion]

Just rewatched the Matchmaking episode and looking at the couples through the lens of three weeks into the marriages, the "experts" did predict some of the problems...

  Amber's fierce independence was a front for her multiple insecurities...well that has turned out to painfully true...

They hoped Dave would have stepped up as her protector but he's turned out to be her tormentor.

Totally wrong about Mia and Tristan.

They thought their mutual entrepreneurial drive and religious faith would be the center of this marriage...not the lack of trust, lying and so much crying...

Can we get through ONE episode without Mia fake crying and Tristan all puffy eyed from crying....

When Dr. Jessica proposed to Mia and they talked about deleting all her dating apps...opps!

Mia mentions Bumble specifically.

Wonder if that was the dating site Goober found her on?

Experts very spot on about Bobby and Danielle being a good match...

Wonder if Bobby thinks about if he had told the experts that he refused to be matched with someone in their thirties, would he be in a relationship now with another woman...

 In the 100 guy group selection seminar, Dave sat one person away from Bobby on the same row.

Pastor Cal met Bobby at the country and western dancing hall and asked him if he was old enough to be considering marriage...Bobby does look about 14 years old...

Bobby thankfully has lost his twang...

Edited August 26, 2018 by humbleopinion

[humbleopinion]

Quote

19 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

She's also uber-emotional, and that sometimes leads her to extreme behavior. 

 

 

 

You are absolutely right about Mia.

Bet Jared is not the first man she has reacted so severely to in a breakup...thinking she has a trail of scared men who have scorned her that leads back to high school...

On the opposite side of the coin is Danielle...while she is expressive in her THs you hope she verbalizes to Bobby her growing affection for him.

While Mia is always hanging on to Tristan like her legs don't work...Danielle could throw Bobby a bone(r) and hold his hand or touch his arm when they are talking..

Thinking Danielle is just private with her human affection because she is openly affectionate with the doggies...but then no dog has broken her heart...unlike men in her past.

The Bobster has his wife figured out...

The more Danielle can trust and rely on him, the more she relaxes and lets down her guard...

Danielle fights traffic to get home in the evening so he takes care of dinner so she can enjoy her evenings with him and the pups stress free....

He is making their home a refuge...a place where there are people/doggies who love her and waiting eagerly for her to open the door each evening .

Who doesn't want to turn into your driveway knowing there is a hot meal and 4 sets of eyes looking for you with tails wagging?....

He's not being her slave...Although Bobby is hoping to be her love slave...ha!

This isn't much  increase in the amount of housework than when he was single....walking, feeding, caring for a few more dogs, packing another lunch and making more breakfast.

The spotless kitchen/house before he leaves the house for work speaks volumes for me...fiercely proud of his home and the life he has earned with hard work and determination.

 

When Danielle stares unblinking at Bobby with her store bought eyelashes, she reminds me of Sandy Cheeks from Spongebob Squarepants.

Edited August 26, 2018 by humbleopinion

[Maximadc]

I don’t see anything wrong with Dave’s ranking.

IMHO Amber doesn’t deserve 7.5 ar all. She does nothing but nagging and piling up her issues on Dave. He doesn’t care about her doing his laundary, he can do it as well as cooking and cleaning. The most important thing, that all guys want in marriage, is happiness as well as easy communication and positive outlook. She has nether of those. She makes him unhappy - that’s it. He keeps saying ‘I TRY to stay positive’ but it’s harder and harder for him to do so... 7.5 is a generous score for Amber right now. But it’s an clear indicator of his frustration. And she continues destroying their relationships by driving him nuts constantly over-analyzing and having those exhausting conversations that would drive anybody crazy

[DrewPaul2010]

On 8/24/2018 at 8:57 AM, Lusterleaf said:

Why did Amber even go on this show? She doesn't want to share responsibilities in a marriage. If she wanted a kid all she had to do was go to a sperm bank and she could have done it on her own. I really can't stand her segments on this show because her constantly whining about her insecurities is annoying. She was harping on the 7.5 rating for half the episode. I don't know how Dave hasn't ended it yet.

Tristan should have ended things with Mia after she lied about her record/charges. It's like that saying, Fool me once....

I like Bobby & Danielle and think they're sweet together but I'm just waiting for something wrong to happen... hopefully it doesn't but it just seems too good to be true for MAFS standards lol..

She probably has funny ideas of how a husband is supposed to serve his wife from her best friend.

[DrewPaul2010]

On 8/25/2018 at 12:26 PM, humbleopinion said:

 I don't think Mia would have had sex so soon into the marriage.

Are you suggesting woman use sex to curry favor? This is shocking...

[seacliffsal]

I think that Amber may have the princess/fairy tale view of marriage.  That she would be treated like a princess and her husband would adoringly do everything to make her happy.  It could be why she seemed a bit desperate to get married as that scenario had never played out before.  She may have even turned to being married at first sight believing that once married, her husband would wait on her hand and foot.  I just don't know what her expectations were.  She agreed to some chores and then tells Dave she doesn't want to do them and reacts as if he is a monster because he expected her to do what she said she would do.  Then she tells him she never wanted to get married as she didn't want to have to do anything extra for her husband.  I actually think Dave is trying, but is getting frustrated.  Oh, and her 'I don't need anymore friends.'  Geesch.  I meet friends of my friends because they want us all to go do something.  I would never tell someone I didn't really want to ever meet more people or that I didn't need more friends.  Amber is pushing Dave probably as some kind of "test."