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S07.E07: I Want an Equal Partner


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6 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Amber has been around Zachia longer than Dave. If she wanted to be a Zachia she'd probably have been more overbearing by now.

Dave needs to calm down about a lot of things, or maybe he just wants things his way or no way.

Granted, we only see what they show us...

He doesn't know Amber yet. Neither do we. He's getting to know her. No one really knows someone in the beginning. He's learning things about her and people around her. Some things have created a bit of concern. Concern for the future anyway. It's perfectly natural to have these thoughts in the beginning. I just don't think it's that deep.

As far as Dave talking about these things after dinner, I commend him for being open while not being rude about it. Far less rude than the friend, that's for sure.

2 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Agreed the biggest disconnect of Team Dobby has been over her debt....

The solution is for them to agree to be on the Married at First Sight: Happily Ever After show with Shawniece and Jephte to earn  $$$ to help cover their 2K in monthly overages and resolve Danielle's credit card debt.

Plus the audience wants/needs/demands more Henry.

I need far less of all animals show. Zero would be cool.

The best I can say for this show right now is that least I find any hiccups these companies are growing through as relatable. Yes, even Mia/Tristan in the sense that your past often defines you for the good or bad and it's up to you to figure out what your limit is. 

Also, I couldn't care less about whether or not someone I'm with is simply still on a dating app. If you find out they are still using is the problem. I'm signed in to dating apps and social media I hardly ever use. I might still be on one while in a relationship simply because it's the last thing on my mind.

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11 hours ago, aphroditewitch said:

Except it is because is primarily a complaint about women. And even when others point out as a thing men  too, people double down on the false claim. And like I said, it is an unconscious action. What is normal female speech? Because women are attacked for their voices no matter what they do. Primarily because people are cowards and know that if they start actually listing the petty reasons that it is actually the woman and not the voice that is the complainer's issue, the complainer comes across as a jackass.

A lot of women's voices annoy the crap out of me and I don't think I'm a petty jackass or singling women out because I'm prejudiced against women, but feel free to disagree.  I may get annoyed with men for different reasons, but I'm still an equal opportunity annoyed person at any rate.

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I don't "police young women's voices" (an expression I hadn't known is a "thing" before I Googled); I simply find any speech annoying to the point sometimes of unlistenable where the speaker seems to need throat-clearing.  A smooth tone is,  I'd wager, "considered normal."  

But having said that,  I haven't noticed vocal fry with Danielle,  but I guess now I will! 

Edited by LennieBriscoe
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12 hours ago, princelina said:

But would experts fix up the severely allergic with a dog lover/owner?  Hahahahaha - I jest - of course these "experts" would!

Most likely, they never even ask them in personal interviews about important things like pets. Probably just a "Dogs --yes/no" on one of their many questionnaires.

...And then, of course, the 'experts' are all, "Oh, that person has never owned a pet! We need to match them with a dog lover so they will 'broaden their emotional horizons', and expand their experiences." Blah, blah, blah... 

Edited by Crazy Bird Lady
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I really can't stand Dave but in his defense he does not seem like much of a pet person. He's very strict and structured. He probsbyl doesn't like having his friends young children at his apartment either. You have to actually like and have affection for animals to want them living in your home. Moving a cat in with a non cat person is quite an adjustment and since Dave already isn't that smitten with Amber he sees paisley as a major annoyance and an extension of why Amber just doesn't measure up for him. I say this as a cat person. My ex had dogs and while I love dogs I had an irrational dislike for one of his dogs because she was a year old and constantly peed and pooped in the house and chewed stuff up. The Wal, the coffee table, my glasses, shoes etc. So while paisley is doing normal cat things and should settle down I totally understand Dave's annoyance. Poor Amber always looks like she has so much anxiety around Dave. 

Bobby acts like Danielle is his first piece of booty lol. He and henry are very sweet together. Don't care about Tristan and Mia. 

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On 8/15/2018 at 9:10 PM, DrewPaul2010 said:

Some natural blondes have dark roots. I think she is a blonde and really very attractive but she needs to lose her friend.

I looked for her on Facebook and there are a few pictures.  Back in 2015 her hair was dark brown and she had other, nicer shades of blonde.  I think she should look back at those pictures and choose one of them.  Her hair looked much nicer and healthier.

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On 8/14/2018 at 8:52 PM, gonecrackers said:

Oh Amber, yes you are a brunette. Do you think anyone believes in that hair being natural?

I nearly spit out of drink from laughing!  Best line ever!

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1 hour ago, Koalagirl said:

I looked for her on Facebook and there are a few pictures.  Back in 2015 her hair was dark brown and she had other, nicer shades of blonde.  I think she should look back at those pictures and choose one of them.  Her hair looked much nicer and healthier.

She can't change the fact that her hair is badly damaged, though, from over-bleaching --unless she cuts it. Maybe she'd look good in a shorter cut?

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1 hour ago, kira28 said:

I really can't stand Dave but in his defense he does not seem like much of a pet person. He's very strict and structured. He probsbyl doesn't like having his friends young children at his apartment either. You have to actually like and have affection for animals to want them living in your home. Moving a cat in with a non cat person is quite an adjustment and since Dave already isn't that smitten with Amber he sees paisley as a major annoyance and an extension of why Amber just doesn't measure up for him.

You are right about Dave, he seems like a strict structured self made man who is confident...so what possessed such a person to let someone else pick out someone for him to live the rest of his life with? He seems like the kind of person who would trust his own abilities and intelligence to make such a decision (and will probably second guess anyone else's decision). In the preview apparently he rates Amber a 7.5 out of 10 which she says is just barely passing. He probably hasn't learned what most married men learn that is when woman say all they want is the truth isn't true. They want and expect you to exaggerate greatly even if they know you are.

1 hour ago, Koalagirl said:

I looked for her on Facebook and there are a few pictures.  Back in 2015 her hair was dark brown and she had other, nicer shades of blonde.  I think she should look back at those pictures and choose one of them.  Her hair looked much nicer and healthier.

I guess we'll just have to see if the curtains match the drapes...

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Re:  Amber's hair.  Dave's friend's wife said something to her like, "But isn't your hair naturally brown?"  Not the exact quote, but Amber answered "Yes".

And who cares if he likes a particular brunette.  He's shown, very clearly, that he likes you.  Go with it, or you're going to lose him, but not over the fried-bleached blond hair, over the insecurity.

Danielle and her $15K in debt due to her eyelashes/waxing/eyebrows/whatever can go away.  First of all, I think it all looks stupid.  We know you don't really have daddy longleg eyelashes, and if all this garbage puts you in so much debt but you "have to", well here's your red flag Mr. Bobby.

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14 hours ago, Blissfool said:

Which celebrity might have Dave mentioned in order to appease Amber? I was thinking Jessica Simpson.

I initially read that as Lisa Simpson and have been laughing for a good five minutes picturing different scenes of Dave and a cartoon headed Amber. Imagine cartoon head asking the wife friends about her insecurity. They could just get a different colored Sharpie and help her out.   

Edited by ramble
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On 8/17/2018 at 3:16 PM, gonecrackers said:

Dave is probably enjoying having sex with Amber, but it seems questionable right now that he's enjoying being married to Amber.

Yeah, I actually don't blame Amber for being insecure about Dave. He doesn't come off as that into her. That may just be his way. Not the overly excited type. But, I understand her worrying.

Edited by Racj82
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3 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

She can't change the fact that her hair is badly damaged, though, from over-bleaching --unless she cuts it. Maybe she'd look good in a shorter cut?

Probably the only way to try to get back healthy hair is to cut off most of that mess and do intense hair conditioning. 

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On 8/15/2018 at 6:36 PM, DrewPaul2010 said:

For anyone with out Closed Caption TV I saw 4 ominous chords struck and one suspenseful chord struck...

My captions said "[mirthless chuckle]" on two different occasions.

 

On 8/16/2018 at 3:06 PM, aphroditewitch said:

What is normal female speech?

To me, it's the way women's voices sounded before valley girl and vocal fry became popular.

Quote

Because women are attacked for their voices no matter what they do. Primarily because people are cowards and know that if they start actually listing the petty reasons that it is actually the woman and not the voice that is the complainer's issue, the complainer comes across as a jackass.

Oh, no, trust me--it's the voice for me.  I know this because I will hear random ones on NPR and immediately turn off the radio because I can't stand listening to it, and I have no idea who's doing the talking or anything whatsoever about her.

I also refuse to listen to Ira Glass.

 

21 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

And, I just wanted to scream "but you are a brunette" when she made it sound like there was nothing she could do about being a blonde. 

But as @DrewPaul2010 said, maybe she identifies as a blonde, and that's all we need to know.

 

3 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

She can't change the fact that her hair is badly damaged, though, from over-bleaching --unless she cuts it. Maybe she'd look good in a shorter cut?

Oh, ha ha ha ha ha.  I'd love to be proven wrong, but she does not strike me as the type who would be willing to give up even 1/2" of her luscious mane.  She needs to just start over, but I don't think it'll ever happen.

 

3 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

I guess we'll just have to see if the curtains match the drapes...

I think you meant the curtains/drapes match the carpet, but do women even have carpet any more?

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1 hour ago, Racj82 said:

Yeah, I actually don't blame Amber for being insecure about Dave. He doesn't come off as that into her. They may just be his way. Not the overly excited type. But, I understand her worrying.

 

21 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

In my opinion, the truly deep and abiding love is between Bobby and Henry...  Henry just lights up around Bobby, and, remember, Danielle had never seen Henry run before he went in the yard at Bobby's house.  Yes, Henry has it bad.  If Bobby and Danielle ever break up, the true heartbreak would all be Henry's.  

For the last couple of weeks I felt that Amber had a lot of issues that were affecting the relationship.  When they went over finances she stated that she wanted to keep spending her money on what she wants to spend it on (but at least she didn't seem to have the debt that Danielle has) and now she is insecure because of an answer Dave gave to a question she asked.  Very few of us ever expect to marry someone who looks like our celebrity crushes; I don't understand why she unraveled so much based on Dave's answer.  And, I just wanted to scream "but you are a brunette" when she made it sound like there was nothing she could do about being a blonde.  I was so glad one of the wives gracefully pointed out that Amber was a blonde.  I think Amber wants to be married while she also doesn't want to change anything about her life.  

The Mia story is just going to get better and better.  Very interesting that Bobby asked if her real name was Mia.  She hesitated, but still said yes.  Tristan, I hope that all of the doing sex that you are doing will be worth all the surprises and reveals that are waiting for you.

  • I am of two thoughts about this.
  • Amber could just be insecure and thinks her looks are a big part of what she brings to the table.
  • This could be another Vanessa and Trey situation where Dave is polite on camera but does not seem that into her in real life.
  • A combination of both these things.
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One thing I can't get over is that Amber is 36.im two years older than her but I feel like she's so immature. The drinking til you puke, the I don't need new friends pout. The freakout and immediate need of reassurance about Dave's celebrity crush.. I had similar feelings at 18 and early 20s when a boyfriend was obsessed with Katie Holmes. I'm a short brunette not tall and gangly like her but what bugged me is he would go on and on about how she had amazing eyes  the prettiest he'd seen and I had big brown eyes that I'd gotten alot if compliments on so I was annoyed he thought hers were so amazing lol. But. I was 18 not 36. Another boyfriend thought Lindsey Lohan was the hottest thing he'd ever seen and I was insulted because at the time Lindsay Lohan was so trashy and gross. But again I was maybe 21. Amber just seems so teenagerish. I wonder if she really wants kids or just feels like time is running out. She seems a little self centered and flakey. Not that Dave is much better. Some ppl are better off single. I think Dave is probably one of those people. 

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On 8/14/2018 at 7:14 PM, Gem 10 said:

The “ experts said this season was going to be the best yet.  Does anyone else think it is the worst so far?  I used to be excited to watch, but not this season.  The others before were much more interesting.

Bring back Shawniece and Jephte!  They were at least fun to watch and she has a great personality.

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17 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Dave is probably enjoying having sex with Amber, but it seems questionable right now that he's enjoying being married to Amber.

Just tuning in but can somebody tell me about the guy at the gym that seems to make them both uncomfortable!

Maybe Ambers afraid Dave will invite that friend over or maybe she's afraid all his friends know about gym guy and she's embrassed!

I think Dave's a hunk of a guy but he's probably chosen other lookers that left him!

All of these couples have problems.  One in love with her cat marrying a non cat person.  One $15,000 in debt to a guy that uses a spread sheet for monthly bills and ajailbird with a mommas boy.

And the experts wonder why it doesn't work!!!

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19 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

You are right about Dave, he seems like a strict structured self made man who is confident...so what possessed such a person to let someone else pick out someone for him to live the rest of his life with? He seems like the kind of person who would trust his own abilities and intelligence to make such a decision (and will probably second guess anyone else's decision). In the preview apparently he rates Amber a 7.5 out of 10 which she says is just barely passing. He probably hasn't learned what most married men learn that is when woman say all they want is the truth isn't true. They want and expect you to exaggerate greatly even if they know you are.

If Dave hasn't learned by his age that every question, including the classic "Do I look fat in these pants?" is a trap, I don't have much hope for him as a spouse.  The much younger and arguably more inexperienced Bobby has apparently learned not to fall for that trap, hence his answer to Pastor Cal that if faced with the choice of one or the other, he would get rid of his dog rather than his wife.  That was a question designed to determine how dedicated he was to his marriage, not how un-dedicated he is to his pet.

It's just like the trap when women ask their mates, "How do I look in this outfit?".  When the partner says "Fine" in passing, that's not good enough.  While it may be intended as a real compliment, "Fine" sounds barely acceptable to our ears.  At the very least we want to hear a convincing "GREAT, HONEY!" with an animated smile.   Most men that have any long term experience in a relationship with a woman learn not to fall into those traps, although every now and then if sufficiently caught off-guard, they slip and give the "Fine" response, including my husband.  Dave, though, seems like he does that kind of thing all the time.  He generally seems like a glass-half-full kind of guy; the kind that would over-analyze and pick apart anything or anyone in a detached manner.  Not my cup of tea, and truthfully, not most women's cup of tea either.

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Dave is knowingly being cruel to Amber to make fake drama.

He’s a jack hole who knows that Amber is very insecure and decided to jerk her around with a low number.

Her over  reaction will get them screen time but it is a deeply personal insult to Amber.

Dave , Tristan and Mia are all playing to the cameras just like Molly and Ryan did last season.

Edited by humbleopinion
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Just now getting to watch. OMG that couples dinner was uncomfortable to watch. The morning scene with Tristen and Mia is my real name was weird,  I couldn’t stop looking at that brown spot on the wall and thinking poor Tristen. 

The deal with Amber’s friend reminded me of the situation with Ashley’ sister, editing and contrivance.  Anthony said it wasn’t what it seemed. 

Quote of the season “I know what they do to pretty girls” LOL!

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2 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Dave, though, seems like he does that kind of thing all the time.  He generally seems like a glass-half-full kind of guy; the kind that would over-analyze and pick apart anything or anyone in a detached manner.  Not my cup of tea, and truthfully, not most women's cup of tea eithe

 

2 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Dave is knowingly being cruel to Amber to make fake drama.

There are men who don't know how to give a compliment, & are bumbling idiots with women. Then again there's the 'I don't know wtf I'm doing' guy, & the 'I know what I'm doing & why' guy. I'm leaning toward Dave being the latter, which is very toxic. If this is the case, his behavior will be fueled by Amber's insecurity & only get worse. JMO

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3 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Dave is knowingly being cruel to Amber to make fake drama.

He’s a jack hole who knows that Amber is very insecure and decided to jerk her around with a low number.

Her over  reaction will get them screen time but it is deeply personal insult to Amber.

Dave , Tristan and Mia are all playing to the cameras just like Molly and Ryan did last season.

For sure, on all points.  Dave also strikes me as a withholding type that would not want to give you the benefit of a few extra points just for your ego.  It's a control move.  He wants to keep her insecure so he has more control over her.  He strikes me as having to be in control of that relationship, and probably his entire life, at all times.  Which is one reason that at his age he still isn't relationship material.  I think the only reason Amber's friend squicked him out so much was because she was a woman being the dominant partner in the relationship.

As to playing to the cameras, it seems like more of them are doing that in recent seasons, which feeds into the theory that the show is buying that from them in some way to save face.  Either the contracts are being written more skillfully so that it's much harder to back out without consequences, or there's some kind of tangible incentive like money involved.  Heather notwithstanding - She struck me as an extremely smart individual, probably with a good lawyer.

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I totally get why Amber was thrown for a loop when the wifey asked...Aren’t you a brunette?

Amber has been paying a Dallas  beautician plenty of money to make her into a blonde and she identifies as a blond.

Root of origin...Haha....in the most literal sense.

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The thing is that Dave and Amber are groovin’ between the sheets if you get my drift but he acts like a steaming turd in front of the cameras,the crew and especially the cast.

He will not find another woman who is willing to go all in from the get go nor has he ever let himself go all in from the start.

He is messing a good thing up...sick of him looking down his nose at her...his literal nose...anyone notice he does that a lot?

Amber you can’t convince him to stay....Dave has to convince himself.

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My second favorite scene from last week’s episode was of the greatest love of all...(shout out to Whitney Houston)....

Henry’s unabashed infatuation with Bobby.

Henry is not a face licker....no...he looks deep into Bobby’s eyes...like soulmates do....Basset hounds are the epitome of soulful.

Seacliff nailed it.

When Henry was on his stubby hind legs snout to nose with “New Dad”  getting a rub....you could see the actual heart emojis in Henry’s eyes.....

Henry has found his alpha male...has Danielle?....TBD

If the Bergman-Dodd marriage sadly ends, gonecrackers is absolutely correct...Henry will choose to stay with Bobby and his stepsib, Nellie.

Edited by humbleopinion
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2 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Henry is not a face licker....no...he looks deep into Bobby’s eyes...like soulmates do....Basset hounds are the epitome of soulful.

Seacliff nailed it.

When Henry was on his stubby hind legs snout to nose with “New Dad”  getting a rub....you could see the actual heart emojis in Henry’s eyes.....

If the Bergman-Dodd marriage sadly ends, gonecrackers is absolutely correct...Henry will choose to stay with Bobby and his stepsib, Nellie.

I hope not. I'm still rooting for Bobby and Danielle to be the one couple that works out.

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My big concern for Danielle and Bobby is that Danielle will figure out that Bobby has replaced her in Henry's heart and she will freak out.  I think she sees herself as a 'dog' person (what with Henry and the foster puppy), but it seems like Henry will associate being able to run (for the first time in his life according to Danielle...) in the yard, becoming a lapdog, and healthy eating with Bobby and not Danielle.  Oh, and Bobby got him a "sibling" (Nellie).  It's dog nirvana.

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Tristan better be changing passwords, locks on doors and wearing velcro practice gloves at night so she can’t use his thumb print to access his cellie.....

You should be in your own heightened state of paranoia...about your wife.

She says she’s in love with you, brah...maybe even as much as she was in love with the dude she stalked...

If actions speak louder than words, Tristan should  be very afraid if Mia thinks he is waffling on his commitment to their marriage...

Edited by humbleopinion
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1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

Tristan better be changing passwords, locks on doors and wearing velcro practice gloves at night so she can’t use his thumb print to access his cellie.....

You should be in your own heightened state of paranoia...about your wife.

She says she’s in love with you, brah...maybe even as much as she was in love with the dude she stalked...

If actions speak louder than words, Tristan should  be very afraid if Mia thinks he is waffling on his commitment to their marriage...

Exactly. I think that's what Mia's father was trying to tell Tristan (without really explaining it) right after the wedding.

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8 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Exactly. I think that's what Mia's father was trying to tell Tristan (without really explaining it) right after the wedding.

Yeah, I wish we could get another interview with him. 

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Quote

Dave is knowingly being cruel to Amber to make fake drama.

I don't think he is intentionally cruel he just isn't sold yet and he may even have remorse about doing this in the first place. He doesn't seem like the spontaneous go with the flow kind of guy at all. I'm thinking 10 to 1 odds against this match up working...

If he does really want her he needs to stoke her up and make her a believer.

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10 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

I don't think he is intentionally cruel he just isn't sold yet and he may even have remorse about doing this in the first place. He doesn't seem like the spontaneous go with the flow kind of guy at all. I'm thinking 10 to 1 odds against this match up working...

If he does really want her he needs to stoke her up and make her a believer.

I think he is being passive-aggressive with her in hoping that she will call it off and then he will be off the hook. He is not into her at this moment but that could change.

 

11 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Do you think TLC producers happy about the Mia drama...dramas?

Do you think the Tristan Mia segments are turning off viewers or drawing them in?

I think it could kill the show. It has ruined what little credibility this program had in the first place. However, The Bachelor is total bullshit and it is still going strong, so who knows?

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1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

Maybe it is just me....but Tristan and Mia are so fake and insincere, their segments bum me out.....

Guess still wary after the Molly /Jon and Jacklyn/Ryan charade 

No, you're not alone, I've been saying all along almost ad nauseum by now that Tristan doesn't look sold on Mia and is openly chanting about needing to "build trust" and "not being IN love".  I've also gone on and on about my suspicions that there's some kind of incentive given (or legal threat made) to the participants to continue the charade.  I guess no one is reading my posts!  ;-)

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You are right about the contractual coercion to remain in the show.

With the tease, really want Goober to be right and she can’t wiggle her way out of more lies but we are stuck with Tristan and Mia high fiving and fist pumping with the explosion fingers.....

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40 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

 I've also gone on and on about my suspicions that there's some kind of incentive given (or legal threat made) to the participants to continue the charade.  I guess no one is reading my posts!  ;-)

Oh I agree completely. I've felt they've been doing this for a while now. The staying together on Decision Day then 1 year divorce announcements - conveniently when the next season is sold & underway - yeah; they're getting bought off.

Now they've got spin off shows to sweeten the fame whore pot as well.

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The tent poles are Dave,Bobby and Tristan.

Dave and Amber are compelling enough...Dave Jedi minding Amber to say she wants a divorce in Decision day  so he remains the good guy frat boy.

Bobby, Danielle and the pups are the highlight for some of the dwindling audience and the feel good segment of each show.

Tristan would be a different character if he wasn’t saddled with the lying liar.

His overly big smile every time the red camera light is on must be tiring, with reshoots if he drops his smile a nanosecond too soon.

At least the Thompson-Ballys have stopped over playing their faith on camera...the hypocrisy would make the show unwatchable.

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When Bobby asked Mia if that was her real name...she wasn’t truthful.

The name in her warrant was Ameea Janice Bally so while it isn’t a big deal she could have easily said that Mia was a nickname. 

At the tapas dinner her case was still pending and instead of being coy and Tristan so crude to ask about the other couples’ sexy times why not say we can’t talk about it on cameras on my lawyer’s advice.

 Tristan’s use of cutlery....always disappoints me when people do not refine their table manners.

Tristan went to college and played D league ball so he has been to plenty of team meals with teammates using their utensils properly so he has been exposed to proper usage.

On the topic of utensils, at the Japanese dinner on the honeymoon, Bobby was the only one using chopsticks correctly.

Amber and Dave were just above beginner level at chopsticks,their fingers too stiff and Danielle used a fork. But they get points for using them on camera and they will improve with practice.

Have you noticed everyone on this season eats like birds?

Bring back Anthony who knew his way around a plate ....

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3 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

When Bobby asked Mia if that was her real name...she wasn’t truthful.

The name in her warrant was Ameea Janice Bally so while it isn’t a big deal she could have easily said that Mia was a nickname. 

I think it's probably true that Mia is the name she's known by, and she's probably been called that her whole life. However, it's also obvious that anyone who wants to look up her arrest record would have more difficulty if they're looking up 'Mia,' and they don't know the name on her birth certificate.

 

Quote

At the tapas dinner her case was still pending and instead of being coy and Tristan so crude to ask about the other couples’ sexy times why not say we can’t talk about it on cameras on my lawyer’s advice.

I think they (especially Mia!) didn't want any mention of 'lawyers,' or any other indication that the charges she'd been arrested for were still part of an open case.

Edited by Crazy Bird Lady
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I'm just disgusted that someone like Mia got chosen for this show, in the first place. I mean-- I thought they were supposed to do a bunch of psychological tests, to develop a personality profile for the interesting applicants...

They sure let a big personality problem slip right by them!

Edited by Crazy Bird Lady
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