S09.E01: The Morning After

[Primetimer]

Brandon and Kelly don't agree about how to proceed with their relationship in our Again With This podcast on 'The Morning After.'

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[Primetimer]

The most important cleaverns, cat-butt mouths, and other snapshots from the S9 premiere.

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[Nanna]

Kelly is such a weirdo. When she “chose herself” and said no to Brandon’s first proposal (after considering going away with Dylan instead) she also expected that they would keep dating. That’s not how this works. One thing is to agree not to get married (I know plenty of people who have chosen just to live together, have kids, own a house together etc but not being married - but they didn’t make that choice after getting as far as a non-wedding.)

[benteen]

Damn, I remember despising Donna for calling up Noah's parents when he told them he had no interest in meeting with them.  Not your decision, Touched by an Angel!

[Cekrypton1]

Kelly is so fucking smug in her opening scene with Donna post-reception that I have ZERO* sympathy for her for the rest of the episode.

*Never had sympathy for her to start.

Also, what filter do the have on Nat in the opening credits because his face is smooooooooth.

ETA: Brandon: "I don't know, it just seemed like were more like brother and sister." Cut to 7 minutes later and Brando is boning down with said 'sister.'

Edited July 31, 2018 by Cekrypton1

[meggonzo]

They had Ray Wise and didn't make an obligatory Twin Peaks reference?!

[Molly Cule]

Two things that have always bugged the shit out of me in this episode:

-Wouldn't Kelly and Brandon have already made arrangements for the return of the rented furniture and other party accoutrements WHEN THEY SIGNED THE RENTAL AGREEMENTS? This is not a thing you figure out the day after your stupid (non-)wedding. 

-David calling Kelly 'sexy,' I guess this is one of the weeks where she's not his sister? 

[Kimmykun]

I know that ridiculous retcon of Val's past is just to get her off the show, but couldn't have they thought of something better? I mean, I know they couldn't, but still.

Anywho, the Brandon count now sits at 3.

[Nanna]

12 minutes ago, Molly Cule said:

Two things that have always bugged the shit out of me in this episode:

-Wouldn't Kelly and Brandon have already made arrangements for the return of the rented furniture and other party accoutrements WHEN THEY SIGNED THE RENTAL AGREEMENTS? This is not a thing you figure out the day after your stupid (non-)wedding. 

-David calling Kelly 'sexy,' I guess this is one of the weeks where she's not his sister? 

Exactly on the furniture stuff. It’s not like they were going to keep the chairs and the dancefloor if they had gone through with the wedding.

[bethster2000]

Kelly:

Karma exists. Learn it. Live it.

Love, Brenda Walsh

(living a fabulous life on the back of a Vespa all over Europe.)

Edited July 31, 2018 by bethster2000

[Kimmykun]

The Internet says Vincent Young is the same height as BAG and Ian. That is clearly not true.

[ZeroDiscipline]

This Valerie HIV thing is so much more serious than this! She had unprotected sex with someone HIV Positive, in 1998! There is no way she can get an accurate test result in one week's time. She would have to freak out for much longer, and get tested in a few months to see where to go from there. This is a big deal, they act like such idiots.

[ZeroDiscipline]

They way the others talk about Brandon and Kelly is so detached and strange. Like with Donna and Kelly, and Kelly being all 'what if he was the one??????" as if he's just some guy. IRL Donna would have answered "Who, Brandon?" It's like they all forgot they all went to high school together.

[Molly Cule]

1 hour ago, Kimmykun said:

The Internet says Vincent Young is the same height as BAG and Ian. That is clearly not true.

One million LOLs. Everything about that tableau has always cracked me up. David's outfit could clothe the other three with fabric to spare, and why is Ol' Short Stack Brandon wearing a leather get-up in what I assume is still supposed to be late spring/early summer, and why do I care I don't care omg Brandon please just leave already. 

Edited July 30, 2018 by Molly Cule

[ZeroDiscipline]

And another thing. I know Kelly sucks and all, but it seems like the show was trying to imply that Brandon is really the one that broke up with her, condescendingly, and she was still pining for him. I know she has really fallen from her previous awesomeness over the course of this show, but no way in hell is Brandon Walsh higher up on the food chain than Kelly Taylor. They have tried to push that narrative for years, and I am not buying it. 

[yousetmeupyoucrud]

Kelly: "what if he was the one????"

Me: "you're 23 SHUT UP!"

Meanwhile Steve proves once again that he's really 64 years old by taping a golf tournament off the TV. Surprised someone who would want to tape a golf tournament could even figure out how to use a VCR.

[purist]

This right here, from the peerless @Sarah D. Bunting, is why I continue to listen to these podcasts: 'Fill your fucken condo pants with rocks and walk into the sea already, dick-smack.' Bwah!

[CurlyATX]

After college season one, it seemed the show writers never remembered what it was like to be young. The "gang" has always acted like they were 35 not 23. Heck, I know folks in the their 40s who aren't ready to settle down and don't ever wonder if someone is "The One". I think it would have been waaay better to have had Kelly want out- no take backs. Maybe she has doubts of Brandon's faithfulness. Or she wonders if she really was a soul mate to Dylan.

I still LOVE the fact that they had boring sex together... and Kelly would be able to tell the difference! I blame Brandon on that one.

[CurlyATX]

Did I block out that the mid 90's was a blur of spaghetti straps? It's like Limited Express sponsored the entire wardrobe for the ladies.

[RosieRose221]

44 minutes ago, CurlyATX said:

After college season one, it seemed the show writers never remembered what it was like to be young. The "gang" has always acted like they were 35 not 23. Heck, I know folks in the their 40s who aren't ready to settle down and don't ever wonder if someone is "The One". I think it would have been waaay better to have had Kelly want out- no take backs. Maybe she has doubts of Brandon's faithfulness. Or she wonders if she really was a soul mate to Dylan.

I still LOVE the fact that they had boring sex together... and Kelly would be able to tell the difference! I blame Brandon on that one.

prolly because they were pushing 40 IRL lol 

[TimeyWimey52]

The schemer's list says "Get money FROM college" (do you mean financial aid??) and it says "Get start in show business". Who wrote this?! 

 

Get start learning to write, production assistant. 

[Cekrypton1]

I love that Noah's mom is in the same pajama set the next day when Donna calls the house again.

Garth's hair is actually not bad in this episode. That wedding dress may not be great, but she looks great in it.

[Sarah D. Bunting]

Quote

your fucken condo pants

And I in turn appreciate that someone, somewhere still spells it "fucken," the way we did in the olden days.

[Cilantro]

1. Donna's hair color looks great on her. She should light whoever did her bad prior dye jobs on fire.

2. Why does the con artist's notebook have the line about getting money from college? In my experience college cost over 200 grand, and I owe 80 of that until I die. 

[atlanticslide]

If you'd asked me before I listened to these last two episodes, I would've sworn that the non-wedding took place in the season 9 premier, and that Brandon and Kelly just randomly decided that they were happy with the way things were and didn't want to rock the boat by getting married. I always check out of the later season reruns somewhere around the end of the college years, so I think I only ever saw these episodes once, and I could've absolutely sworn that the non-wedding was a lot more chill and there was no "we're like siblings" talk or breakup talk and that they only decided to break up when Brandon wanted to go take a job in DC or something. Maybe I crafted an ever so slightly more plausible scenario in my head because what actually happens in these episodes makes absolutely no fucking sense.

The show has spent the past two seasons, plus parts of the one before that, trying to sell us on how in love Brandon and Kelly are, angels brought them together, blah blah blah dee blah blah. Now all of a sudden they want us to believe that they feel like brother and sister?? And yeah, their chemistry is pretty much non-existent (though I have to admit, I totally shipped them back in the day, before I grew up and realized how insufferable they both are), but this is what the show has been selling us, that they're this great love story, so they don't get to just suddenly tell us that "oh no, they're really like brother and sister" out of nowhere.

[CurlyATX]

12 hours ago, atlanticslide said:

"oh no, they're really like brother and sister" out of nowhere.

I know there is no continuity in the writing staff, but oddly enough I think Brandon first used this line on Kelly when she tried to seduce him during the Spring Fling dance (when Brenda lost her v-card to mad/bad/dangerous).  Now, this all contradicts an episode a few episodes ago where they were having all the sex in elevators, right?  

[atlanticslide]

Oh, he definitely did, that was a point back in Season 1 and brought up again when they were circling around each other in Season 4. But everything from Season 4 through Season 8 basically contradicts the idea that they see each other as siblings - feelings can change, so I can certainly buy that Brandon developed real feelings for Kelly, and I can even buy that one or both of them slid into feeling more platonic towards the other at some point in their relationship and their domestication. But I have a lot of trouble buying that they went from, yeah, fucking in elevators or whatever to suddenly feeling platonic in the span of a few episodes.  

[Panda Bear]

On 7/30/2018 at 12:38 PM, Molly Cule said:

-David calling Kelly 'sexy,' I guess this is one of the weeks where she's not his sister? 

Also, putting the sibling thing aside, who on earth would think of Kelly as sexy at this point in the show? 

[Jax7917]

5 hours ago, atlanticslide said:

Oh, he definitely did, that was a point back in Season 1 and brought up again when they were circling around each other in Season 4. But everything from Season 4 through Season 8 basically contradicts the idea that they see each other as siblings - feelings can change, so I can certainly buy that Brandon developed real feelings for Kelly, and I can even buy that one or both of them slid into feeling more platonic towards the other at some point in their relationship and their domestication. But I have a lot of trouble buying that they went from, yeah, fucking in elevators or whatever to suddenly feeling platonic in the span of a few episodes.  

That's true , but from what I remember they were having sex in elevators because they realized how boring they have become together .. so I think the elevator sex was forced because they wanted to have chemistry but in reality they didn't feel it with each other . I think Kelly and Brandon just liked the idea of each other . If she really loved him , she wouldn't have jumped on Dylan the second he came running back to her when he saw them together in a past life and dumped Brandon like a hot potato . And if he really loved her , he wouldn't have started dating Tracy when him and Kelly were both finally single and Kelly kept telling him she wanted to be with him . Also , the second they got back together they both had a look of oh shit , what did I just get myself into 

[txhorns79]

My favorite part of the episode is thinking that Jim and Cindy apparently immediately left to go back to Hong Kong the moment the reception for the non-wedding ended, if only so they didn't have to spend any real time with Brandon.   

[CurlyATX]

1 hour ago, txhorns79 said:

My favorite part of the episode is thinking that Jim and Cindy apparently immediately left to go back to Hong Kong the moment the reception for the non-wedding ended, if only so they didn't have to spend any real time with Brandon.   

Maybe they just hung out with the other parents at the Bel Age, complaining about whose kid is the worst.  

[txhorns79]

Quote

Maybe they just hung out with the other parents at the Bel Age, complaining about whose kid is the worst.  

Even better is the idea of Jim and Cindy making fake room service orders and running around the hotel with a giant picnic basket. 

[heshy]

What am I supposed to do with this gift now that the wedding has been called off?!

 

[CurlyATX]

holy crap... I had food in my mouth during a muted conference call.  Trigger warning was needed.  I really like how the puzzle doesn't have too many pieces. 

[ilovebeaarthur]

1 hour ago, heshy said:

What am I supposed to do with this gift now that the wedding has been called off?!

 

I needed this today, it's magnificent. I like that their mouths are both directly in their own puzzle pieces. Maybe it's so we can remove the cat butt/bray and not have to look at them.