S14.E01: Are You a Main Attraction?

[smiley13]

1 minute ago, cooksdelight said:

I’m starting to wonder if Adam being there is so once he finally messes up (and he will, trust me) they can get rid of him once and for all and not have him on FN anymore.

Has that worked for Matthew? lol

[cooksdelight]

It has, actually. He’s pretty much gone from FN.

[Simon47]

Who is the healthy chef this year? I forgot.

[smiley13]

37 minutes ago, cooksdelight said:

It has, actually. He’s pretty much gone from FN.

I don't really watch any of the other competition shows, and only rarely watch GGG where a lot of the former contestants show up, so I didn't know if he was still hanging around.

[burner]

I like Palak a lot actually. She seems to be a natural on camera and if they aren't giving this to Adam I hope it goes to her. The rest seem like fodder or lesser versions of personality types we've already seen.

[Reality police]

On 6/11/2018 at 10:03 AM, joanne3482 said:

Like all of you, that was bad, bad, bad.  I kept wondering why jambalaya woman didn't do like a jambalaya arancini.  Not Italian obviously, but she could have chopped up the shrimp and made the rice and shrimp into balls and deep fried. Now you have a food you can eat with one hand and bonus - it's deep fried. 

 I need Manny to go because he is too much and I can't handle that for a whole season.  And no more southern chefs! Food Network needs diversity not yet another person who can show me how to make fried chicken. 

I was thinking the same thing. One of my favorite things is boudin balls. She also could have put it in a lettuce wrap. They wanted healthier.

[Reality police]

On 6/11/2018 at 11:42 AM, AntManBee said:

Exactly!  I was wondering why she didn't just make a jambalaya boudin ball?  Even if it tasted awful, I'd give her props for making (a) street food, (b) adapting on the fly, and (c) staying on "brand."  That she didn't come up with that makes her suspect, to me.

The new cast seems universally awful.  I don't even find the attractive one that hot.  Perhaps Beating Bobby Flay Chicken Lady has a chance, otherwise this seems set up for an Adam or Amy coronation.  Or maybe *gasp!* both.

Posted before i saw yours. Yes to the boudin balls! She has to be more resourceful to stay.

[cooksdelight]

39 minutes ago, smiley13 said:

I don't really watch any of the other competition shows, and only rarely watch GGG where a lot of the former contestants show up, so I didn't know if he was still hanging around.

I haven’t seen him anywhere. Thank God.

[leighdear]

4 hours ago, Surrealist said:

I hate when the contestants weigh in on one another's performance. Whenever they say something negative, they usually bomb during their own presentation.

 

On "Project Runway", they always preface that trash talk with the incredibly transparent and fake "I'm so worried about _________", then THEY proceed to turn out something that's a hot, tranny mess. ( ™ Christian Siriano)

3 hours ago, Simon47 said:

Who is the healthy chef this year? I forgot.

It's the little blonde mom.  Because she's a mom.  She led with that, then the healthy thing.

I have nothing against moms, but when you lead with that, you land smack dab into Melissa D'arabian territory.  And there's very little room for any more moms there, she's pretty much got it nailed down.  

Edited June 13, 2018 by leighdear

[Amarsir]

On 6/11/2018 at 10:48 AM, ruffy666 said:

OHMYGOD Jason... I mean, presumably these guys have to go through several rounds of casting before they make it onto a show?  Did they intentionally cast a sacrificial lamb?  I was embarrassed FOR him, thank goodness they put him/us out of our collective misery after only one episode.

The title of the episode was "Main Attraction" so I assume he was cast to represent the side show.

[bluepiano]

On ‎6‎/‎11‎/‎2018 at 7:03 AM, joanne3482 said:

 I need Manny to go because he is too much and I can't handle that for a whole season.  And no more southern chefs! Food Network needs diversity not yet another person who can show me how to make fried chicken. 

Manny is like Jernard Wells 2.0. Hate to say this, but why is pretty much every black contestant on this show an over-the-top caricature? Giada and (especially) Bobby encouraged Jernard to act like a buffoon to the point where it was embarrassing to watch, and I really hope they don't do the same with Manny, if he stays around for a while. Samone is also really working the clichés.

The Italian guy from the Bronx is also giving us full on Goodfellas. But then again, this show has always been about people playing stereotypes. (Anyone remember The Stereotypes bowling team on The Simpsons). This is the show that years ago browbeat a woman of Mexican heritage (second generation), who had trained as a chef in France, into cooking tacos. "Wait, you're Mexican-American and you cook French food? We're confused. We demand that you live up to our narrow definition of ethnic identity.")

For Palak to have gone on "Beat Bobby Flay" she must be a professional chef with some major credentials. How come no mention of that?

Katie was super lucky that having her dish chosen by the random diner made her safe. You ask a dude to pick one of two dishes, of course he's going to pick the one cooked by the pretty blonde. Duh. That was a pretty idiotic challenge.

Amy Pottinger annoys the heck out of me. She can be kind of funny in a biting way, which I like, but I can't handle the whiney vocal fry. Or telling us that every dish is one she makes for her kids and/or  husband. Though of course the judges love that "personal story" junk.

Adam was so far superior to the other contestants on Comeback Kitchen that I'm sure he only went on the show with a promise that he'd win. I agree that his once having had a show on FN, even a short-lived one, should disqualify him from Next Food Network Star. It would be a bit of comedown for him to lose again, but the guy must really love being on TV.

Edited June 13, 2018 by bluepiano

[Surrealist]

7 minutes ago, bluepiano said:

Amy Pottinger annoys the heck out of me. She can be kind of funny in a biting way, which I like, but I can't handle the whiney vocal fry. Or telling us that every dish is one she makes for her kids and/or business. Though of course the judges love that "personal story" junk.

Cooking for one's own children (and even partner) isn't an accurate barometer of how well you cook either.

Unless your kids are culinary geniuses, they're kind of stuck eating what you serve them. Either they eat the food you make, or they starve. 

Edited June 13, 2018 by Surrealist

[bluepiano]

On ‎6‎/‎11‎/‎2018 at 11:10 AM, mlp said:

Here's a list of the contestants and the shows they've been on before FNS.  Most have already been on a FN competition.  I vaguely recall Manny from MC but not the woman who was also on that show.

https://www.foodnetworkgossip.com/2018/06/food-network-star-season-14-contestants.html

Thanks for posting. I knew Katie Dixon looked familiar.  I believe she made it to the final three or four. Now I'm starting to vaguely remember Manny on MC, and his talking about cooking in the firehouse. But he didn't get to exhibit all that "personality."

Given that so many of these people have been on TV before, it's surprising how ill at ease they seem on camera.

Rabbit empanadas? Dear God no.

Whenever one of the "mom" contestants on FN says "this is a dish I cook all the time for my five year old" I immediately think, why would I want to eat it?

Edited June 13, 2018 by bluepiano

[Yeah No]

8 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

I’m starting to wonder if Adam being there is so once he finally messes up (and he will, trust me) they can get rid of him once and for all and not have him on FN anymore.

That's why I said last week that I thought Adam was the Matthew of this season - Because they were just using him to round out the cast and provide entertainment before they kick his ass to the curb.  I don't think we need to worry about Adam having any chance of winning.  FN already knows what he's capable of, if they wanted to give him another shot they would just do it, not put him through yet another fake "competition".

1 hour ago, bluepiano said:

Manny is like Jernard Wells 2.0. Hate to say this, but why is pretty much every black contestant on this show an over-the-top caricature? Giada and (especially) Bobby encouraged Jernard to act like a buffoon to the point where it was embarrassing to watch, and I really hope they don't do the same with Manny, if he stays around for a while. Samone is also really working the clichés.

I agree with you, and I think it's insulting to the contestants to encourage them to act that way.  As soon as I saw Manny acting overly manic even down to calling the food "those bad boys" I understood why Jernard went home - they already had Jernard 2.0 on the cast.  This show has always pushed not-so-flattering ethnic stereotypes.  I'm surprised there aren't more people speaking out against it.

Concerning the cast this season, I agree with most of what was said upthread about it being pretty awful.  It's pretty bad when I actually think that Adam and Amy aren't so bad by comparison!   I suppose someone might grow on me in time but I'm not holding my breath.  My current theory is that Amy is the "chosen" one this season, which is why she's looking better than a lot of them.  I have a strong feeling that this is what the show wants us to think, so that when she wins it doesn't look "suspicious".  There are a couple of others that seem to have some potential but I can't remember their names right now.  I've been brooding and sad since Tony Bourdain's death so I haven't been up to posting much for the past few days.

[Surrealist]

1 hour ago, bluepiano said:

Whenever one of the "mom" contestants on FN says "this is a dish I cook all the time for my five year old" I immediately think, why would I want to eat it?

Exactly. 

Also, thank you for backing me up about Manny having competed on MasterChef. I knew I wasn't crazy. Lol.

[cooksdelight]

4 hours ago, bluepiano said:

Amy Pottinger annoys the heck out of me

So does Amy Poehler, who this Amy reminds me of.

[smiley13]

I know it is all about the editing,  but there are always clips of Amy making a bitchy remark.  It's just not cute to me and doesn't make me want to watch her.

[AAEBoiler]

15 hours ago, smiley13 said:

Has that worked for Matthew?

Dammit, that's the second time his name has been mentioned!!! One more time and he'll show up as a guest judge or mentor!

Edited June 13, 2018 by AAEBoiler

[joanne3482]

9 hours ago, Surrealist said:

Unless your kids are culinary geniuses, they're kind of stuck eating what you serve them. Either they eat the food you make, or they starve. 

Your kids generally don't know any different either. I was in college before I discovered pork chops could actually taste good instead of being breaded and deep fried to an inch of their lives (or as my dad called them, fried into hockey pucks). Since that's the only way I had ever had them that's how I thought they should be.   

If I have to root for someone at this point I guess it is Palak. It seems, since she beat Bobby Flay, she may actually be a good cook as opposed to a 'personality'. 

[Brookside]

14 hours ago, Surrealist said:

Cooking for one's own children (and even partner) isn't an accurate barometer of how well you cook either.

Unless your kids are culinary geniuses, they're kind of stuck eating what you serve them. Either they eat the food you make, or they starve. 

I'm a dab hand with a tin of spaghettios.

[Surrealist]

2 hours ago, Brookside said:

I'm a dab hand with a tin of spaghettios.

Me too. LOL.

I certainly wasn't implying that I'm a great cook. I just don't think being a parent makes you a better cook than anyone else.

9 hours ago, smiley13 said:

I know it is all about the editing,  but there are always clips of Amy making a bitchy remark.  It's just not cute to me and doesn't make me want to watch her.

Amy isn't the worst reality show contestant I've seen, but she's exceptionally smug.

[Yeah No]

17 hours ago, Surrealist said:

Cooking for one's own children (and even partner) isn't an accurate barometer of how well you cook either.

Unless your kids are culinary geniuses, they're kind of stuck eating what you serve them. Either they eat the food you make, or they starve. 

 

I agree although I think FN likes to push the idea that it takes a special talent to make food that kids like to eat.  And today's parents are far more likely to cater to their kids' eating preferences than when I was a kid.  

Edited June 13, 2018 by Yeah No

[bluepiano]

21 hours ago, Yeah No said:

That's why I said last week that I thought Adam was the Matthew of this season - Because they were just using him to round out the cast and provide entertainment before they kick his ass to the curb.  I don't think we need to worry about Adam having any chance of winning.  FN already knows what he's capable of, if they wanted to give him another shot they would just do it, not put him through yet another fake "competition".

I agree with you, and I think it's insulting to the contestants to encourage them to act that way.  As soon as I saw Manny acting overly manic even down to calling the food "those bad boys" I understood why Jernard went home - they already had Jernard 2.0 on the cast.  This show has always pushed not-so-flattering ethnic stereotypes.  I'm surprised there aren't more people speaking out against it.

Concerning the cast this season, I agree with most of what was said upthread about it being pretty awful.  It's pretty bad when I actually think that Adam and Amy aren't so bad by comparison!   I suppose someone might grow on me in time but I'm not holding my breath.  My current theory is that Amy is the "chosen" one this season, which is why she's looking better than a lot of them.  I have a strong feeling that this is what the show wants us to think, so that when she wins it doesn't look "suspicious".  There are a couple of others that seem to have some potential but I can't remember their names right now.  I've been brooding and sad since Tony Bourdain's death so I haven't been up to posting much for the past few days.

I think that Adam is much more personable and polished than Matthew, but agree that it's ridiculous for him to be on FN Star, which is supposed to be an audition, when he's been on this show before, and been all over FN and Cooking Channel for several years. It's weird that there are some people that the FN brass can't seem to get over - Adam, Matthew, Danushka, She Who's Name Shall Not Be Mentioned, now Amy Pottinger. Maybe they need to put all of them on one show together and be done with it.

I hope to God that your theory about Amy is not accurate. She's kind of becoming the bad girl version of Melissa d'Arabian. But as I remember someone saying in her last appearance, the "bad mom" think is kind of marketable, I find her speaking voice to be extremely unpleasant to listen to, which I'm sure is coloring my opinion of her. If you are going to be on television, you should be reasonably pleasant to listen to. IMO anyway, but that probably reveals me as old dinosaur.

I'm with you about Tony Bourdain. His self-promotion could be grating, and I never felt like I needed to hear the stories of his "bad boy" rock'n'roll chef days. But he brought something unique to food television, and his worldwide travels and attempts to convey an understanding of indigenous cuisines and cultures could be fascinating. He was a natural and gifted story teller. I also like that while he travelled the world he would also do shows about Detroit, Philadelphia, Arkansas, Maine etc. There is no one else out there who does anything even remotely close to what he's done, and I will miss him.

Edited June 14, 2018 by bluepiano

[Pepper the Cat]

11 hours ago, joanne3482 said:

Your kids generally don't know any different either. I was in college before I discovered pork chops could actually taste good instead of being breaded and deep fried to an inch of their lives (or as my dad called them, fried into hockey pucks). Since that's the only way I had ever had them that's how I thought they should be.   

If I have to root for someone at this point I guess it is Palak. It seems, since she beat Bobby Flay, she may actually be a good cook as opposed to a 'personality'. 

I was amazed at how good prime rib was when I had it medium rare as opposed to “cook it TIL it was dead”. My mother , God love her, cooked everything very well done. Dry, dry, dry. When I started having meat less well done it was en eye opened!

I don’t like almost all of these contestants. Manny is annoying. So is Rebakah (I think that is the woman who was in the bottom three). Very glad to see Jason go. If he lasted another episode I might have thrown something threw my TV

[Destiny74]

2 hours ago, Pepper the Cat said:

I was amazed at how good prime rib was when I had it medium rare as opposed to “cook it TIL it was dead”. My mother , God love her, cooked everything very well done. Dry, dry, dry. When I started having meat less well done it was en eye opened!

I don’t like almost all of these contestants. Manny is annoying. So is Rebakah (I think that is the woman who was in the bottom three). Very glad to see Jason go. If he lasted another episode I might have thrown something threw my TV

Would it have been a burger, perhaps?  ?

[theatremouse]

On 6/11/2018 at 4:57 PM, cooksdelight said:

I was at Disneyland and California Adventure one time, for a couple of days with my nephews. There are different restaurants and food stands in between the parks. I got pasta to go, in a cuplike thing, and it had the baby octupus hanging on for dear life.

Disneyland also serves jambalaya in the parks every day in New Orleans Square. I must've missed the part of the challenge where they explicitly said "no utensils allowed" because the argument that jambalaya by definition is not theme park food immediately struck me as silly because it's a long-time Disneyland thing. That said, when she said she was going to serve it in a cone, I thought she meant like...a bread cone...not just cardboard. So I think she did not make an especially sensible choice for the challenge, but there are plenty of ways it could've worked.

[Yeah No]

6 hours ago, bluepiano said:

I think that Adam is much more personable and polished than Matthew, but agree that it's ridiculous for him to be on FN Star, which is supposed to be an audition, when he's been on this show before, and been all over FN and Cooking Channel for several years. It's weird that there are some people that the FN brass can't seem to get over - Adam, Matthew, Danushka, She Who's Name Shall Not Be Mentioned, now Amy Pottinger. Maybe they need to put all of them on one show together and be done with it.

I think they're recycling them because it's easier than finding new fodder for the mill, especially if the network's really not interested in new talent anyway and it's all for the show.  They never used to do this when it was a semi-real competition with a real prize.

6 hours ago, bluepiano said:

I hope to God that your theory about Amy is not accurate. She's kind of becoming the bad girl version of Melissa d'Arabian. But as I remember someone saying in her last appearance, the "bad mom" think is kind of marketable, I find her speaking voice to be extremely unpleasant to listen to, which I'm sure is coloring my opinion of her. If you are going to be on television, you should be reasonably pleasant to listen to. IMO anyway, but that probably reveals me as old dinosaur.

After I thought it over I thought perhaps it's not Amy but one of the new people and Amy is yet another distraction like Adam is.  I kind of like a couple of them and think they might have potential, but it's too soon to tell.  I don't know what they'd do with Amy anyway.  At least with Jason last year we knew they'd make him a judge on the baking shows.

6 hours ago, bluepiano said:

I'm with you about Tony Bourdain. His self-promotion could be grating, and I never felt like I needed to hear the stories of his "bad boy" rock'n'roll chef days. But he brought something unique to food television, and his worldwide travels and attempts to convey an understanding of indigenous cuisines and cultures could be fascinating. He was a natural and gifted story teller. I also like that while he travelled the world he would also do shows about Detroit, Philadelphia, Arkansas, Maine etc. There is no one else out there who does anything even remotely close to what he's done, and I will miss him.

I could have written this myself.  Zimmern does travel/eat shows but doesn't have that certain angle Tony had, so his shows seem typical and formulaic.  The two had many interesting similarities and parallels in their lives and were good friends, although in some ways they were very different.  Perhaps Andrew might change as a result of Tony's death and adopt more of his approach into his own shows, although even if he tried to, he'd never be able to replace Tony.  And I think he knows he never could anyway as he clearly admired Tony's talents.  It was Tony's unique personality that made his shows as good as they were.

[Simon47]

Who made the jambalaya? I forgot.

Adam is much better than Matthew IMO.

I think the final three would be Adam, Ten Jobs Lady, and Beat Bobby Flay ?  Lady.

It doesn’t make sense to have another Jason win this season when we’ve already got the likeable and proud Jason from Kentucky.

[Destiny74]

12 hours ago, Pepper the Cat said:

 

Edited June 14, 2018 by Destiny74

[Destiny74]

The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of FN bringing back the Melting Pot concept.  Palak would be great on a show like that but I'm not sure an all Indian cooking show would sustain (Aarti Party didn't...maybe because she gave it up, maybe because it didn't get the ratings, I don't know)

Ethnic cooking is interesting to me but I'd like to see a show that focused on many different ethnicities but not all at once.  A week of Indian, a week of Ethopian, a week of Thai...I think it would be great.  Fresh.  And we wouldn't get bored with the same host over and over.  But, don't make it like The Kitchen and have only 5 people.  Farm weeks out to different talent.

Just an idea.

[smiley13]

9 hours ago, Simon47 said:

Who made the jambalaya? I forgot.

Adam is much better than Matthew IMO.

I think the final three would be Adam, Ten Jobs Lady, and Beat Bobby Flay ?  Lady.

It doesn’t make sense to have another Jason win this season when we’ve already got the likeable and proud Jason from Kentucky.

Rebekah made the jambalaya.

[Wings]

On 6/13/2018 at 10:26 PM, theatremouse said:

Disneyland also serves jambalaya in the parks every day in New Orleans Square. I must've missed the part of the challenge where they explicitly said "no utensils allowed" because the argument that jambalaya by definition is not theme park food immediately struck me as silly because it's a long-time Disneyland thing. That said, when she said she was going to serve it in a cone, I thought she meant like...a bread cone...not just cardboard. So I think she did not make an especially sensible choice for the challenge, but there are plenty of ways it could've worked.

I think the mention of hand held food didn't make the edit, I didn't hear it either.  My kids are in their 40s now so back when we were there, the food scene was mostly hamburgers, hot dogs and fries.  I am sure there was more but nothing like it is today.  I thought the jambalaya inside an egg roll or won ton wrapper would have done the trick.  

[call me ishmael]

On 6/12/2018 at 9:18 PM, bluepiano said:

Adam was so far superior to the other contestants on Comeback Kitchen that I'm sure he only went on the show with a promise that he'd win. I agree that his once having had a show on FN, even a short-lived one, should disqualify him from Next Food Network Star. It would be a bit of comedown for him to lose again, but the guy must really love being on TV.

That’s interesting because I was pretty surprised by how often he wasn’t better than anyone else.  He has plenty of experience and time on TV but when he was managing the team he forgot they were supposed to talk about food and his last bit when he didn’t use tongs and couldn’t shuck oysters should have gotten him tossed precisely because he had more experience.  But i agree with you that the whole “well yes i had a chance 10 years ago and it didn’t work out but i want to show people how much I’ve grown” story line is too much.  But as with so many of these shows FNS is becoming a parody of itself.

[Totale]

On 6/14/2018 at 10:10 AM, Destiny74 said:

The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of FN bringing back the Melting Pot concept.  Palak would be great on a show like that but I'm not sure an all Indian cooking show would sustain (Aarti Party didn't...maybe because she gave it up, maybe because it didn't get the ratings, I don't know)

For me she wasn't very good and tried (or was ordered) to Americanize too much.  I don't need Indian Hot Dogs.  Bal Arneson's Spice Goddess was great, but then FN decided we should see less cooking with weird ingredients and more stories about her kids so they screwed that up.  I would love to see another Indian cooking show and would watch Palek do one but that is not going to happen.  I saw her Beat Bobby show when it first aired and tried her chicken curry recipe she beat him with once, I thought it was great and the ground cashew made the difference, but it's pretty expensive for weeknight home fare.

Edited June 17, 2018 by Totale

[qtpye]

On 6/10/2018 at 10:45 PM, eyechart said:

What I did see coming...Adam and Amy both "winning" Comeback Kitchen.  And, so far, even with their slight flaws, I can see either one or the other becoming the next judge on Guy's Grocery Games (that's what this show is reduced to now).  Both of them have so much more going for them than anyone else in this group so far.

What I didn't see coming...the two I couldn't stand the most both leaving!  Chris with all that "LATINO!!!!  MIAMI!!!!" obnoxiousness would've been spared if Katie wasn't chosen by the resort guest.  But Jason...where did they find HIM?!  This David Cross-as-Donny-on-"Just-Shoot-Me" lookalike yelling out "YUMMY!!!!  BURGERS!!!!" like it's chicken pot, chicken pot, chicken pot pie may be hands down the absolute worst contestant ever on this show.  At least Danushka had a bit of snark to her, and the Iranian-American woman whose name I refuse to say could actually cook, even though she was nasty.  I wanted him gone from the first moment he opened his mouth.

Harrison is cute enough, but I don't want Giada ogling him like he's a cannoli with ree-goat-ah.  One Damiano was enough, thank you.

Next to go...please be Manny.  Energetic doesn't mean shrill screaming.

 

On 6/10/2018 at 11:12 PM, lanter said:

Donny! That's who he reminded me of. I am so glad they got rid of him, I could not have taken another week of that dork. 

This group seems pretty pathetic, no wonder they brought back both Amy and Adam.

 

On 6/11/2018 at 1:02 PM, Gregg247 said:

That guy with the red glasses and the "Yummy Yummy Yummy" gimmick had to go, but its kind of sad that he failed here as well as failed his auditions to join The Blue Man Group when he was on "Arrested Development" years ago.  Back to the model house, dude!

 

On 6/12/2018 at 1:11 AM, Aerobicidal said:

“When a star brings the heat, they simply explode on the scene.” Lord honey, butter my banana and call it a Roman candle!

Manny is an unholy cross between Emeril Lagasse, Alexis Mateo, and someone who just snorted Honey Boo Boo Child’s special extra large Pixy Stix. Bam! indeed.

Jambalaya in the Park sounds like it could be an episode title of Cajun Justice, the next Blues Traveler Album, or a descriptor for Guy Fieri’s fashion sense.

If novelty blazers are going to be a signature feature on this show, someone better show up with one covered in teeth and boobs just to see if Giada tries to compete with it.

“I want you to know about my Mississippi, my South.” Lord honey, if you want to talk about your downtown delta on episode one, at least wait until the judges are sitting at their table which could possibly evoke similar euphemisms.

If there is one thing that has been underutilized at carnivals and theme parks, it is doubtlessly the funnel. For all these years, the funnel cake has been saddled with the responsibility of single-funnelly representing its cause. After this episode, I expect funnel dogs, funnel curds, funnel juices, and elephant funnels to finally hit the state fair scene.

“I’m running out of time so I’ve got to pull it.” Lord honey, squeeze my sausage and call it a handheld funnel!

Jason apparently thinks America needs a hybrid of David Cross and Sally Jesse Raphael on ecstasy. And . . . I agree, but not as a cooking show host. I think he would be excellent as a politician or a Blue Man Group understudy.

“I don’t care how good it tastes; I don’t want to dump it all over my face.” Lord honey, we’ve all been there!

“It’s everybody’s personal package and it tastes good.” Lord honey, we are bringing back the Spice Network in more ways than one!

During the first half of the episode, I was thinking that Samone might be Amy Sedaris in a really immaculate disguise. By the end, I’m starting to think that well over half the contestants are Amy Sedaris in disguise.

I’m excited that so many of the Future Stars seem unpolished and incompetent. I’m disappointed that two the biggest train wrecks got sent home but, lord honey, call my slider yummy and book me a season pass! 

You guys are killing me dead with David Cross slow Donnie comparisons. Unless, it is David Cross doing a prank, I refuse to believe this guy was one of the best they found.