Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[proserpina65]

20 hours ago, ganesh said:

I watched Hunter too. I don't remember much though. 

My mother used to stay with my grandmother on Saturday nights, and while my mother rarely won a disagreement about what tv shows to watch, she always insisted on watching "that darned old Hunter" as my grandmother called it.  I'm not sure Mom even liked the show that much, but she knew it annoyed my grandmother, so she made sure they watched it every week.

[shapeshifter]

5 hours ago, proserpina65 said:

My mother used to stay with my grandmother on Saturday nights, and while my mother rarely won a disagreement about what tv shows to watch, she always insisted on watching "that darned old Hunter" as my grandmother called it.  I'm not sure Mom even liked the show that much, but she knew it annoyed my grandmother, so she made sure they watched it every week.

Hah!
That reminds me of the time I convinced my parents to watch an episode of Grimm.
Perhaps "Only On TV" At Your Parents' house will the currently airing episode of your favorite TV show that your 'rents don't ever watch always include copious amounts of either gratuitous sex, violence, or stupidity.

Edited May 25, 2018 by shapeshifter

[Shannon L.]

Every single cheap hotel in the country has a light out or blinking letter in it's sign. 

[Orillia]

13 minutes ago, Shannon L. said:

Every single cheap hotel in the country has a light out or blinking letter in it's sign. 

And it's usually the letter that turns the sign into another word.

[shapeshifter]

4 minutes ago, Orillia said:

33 minutes ago, Shannon L. said:

Every single cheap hotel in the country has a light out or blinking letter in it's sign. 

And it's usually the letter that turns the sign into another word.

And the new word formed by the burned out neon tube is a hint or name relevant to some dramatic event that will happen in this out of the way hotel/motel.

[Shannon L.]

In every place that gets cold in December, it will snow on Christmas.  It's never bright and sunny, there's never no snow with just dead, brown, frozen grass/ground, there's never a warm spell where it's actually raining.  Nope....it's always heavy snow on the ground with light, fluffy snowflakes swirling to the ground.

[MaryPatShelby]

On 5/26/2018 at 9:32 AM, shapeshifter said:

And the new word formed by the burned out neon tube is a hint or name relevant to some dramatic event that will happen in this out of the way hotel/motel.

Or the new word is observed by a cop, and in flash, just from reading that word, he knows whodunit and how.

[ganesh]

On 5/25/2018 at 7:35 AM, Raja said:

The first few seasons it was a comedy riff off of Dirty Harry,  the boss didn't actually like the gunfighter cop like the Dirty Harry movies so he was assigned a female partner, and junker cars.

I actually remember the cars now. 

[shapeshifter]

3 hours ago, MaryPatShelby said:

Or the new word is observed by a cop, and in flash, just from reading that word, he knows whodunit and how.

...because the cop/detective has an unusually high IQ, eidetic memory, or a super power--and is still working as a gumshoe. 

[Jacqs]

8 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

...because the cop/detective has an unusually high IQ, eidetic memory, or a super power--and is still working as a gumshoe. 

Yeah, just like villains can create all this wonderful tech with which to fight the hero.... but don't invest in finding say, a cure for cancer or making millions of dollars legally.

[merylinkid]

14 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

In every place that gets cold in December, it will snow on Christmas.  It's never bright and sunny, there's never no snow with just dead, brown, frozen grass/ground, there's never a warm spell where it's actually raining.  Nope....it's always heavy snow on the ground with light, fluffy snowflakes swirling to the ground.

Especially if it has been brown and dead right up until Christmas Eve.   Then you get a beautiful magical snow fall.

Bonus points if the kids are in school on Christmas Eve.   You can either send them out to have fun and one winds up at the North Pole to almost freeze death or you can send them to walk home and almost freeze death in a blizzard (hmmm I sense a theme here).

2 hours ago, JacquelineAppleton said:

Yeah, just like villains can create all this wonderful tech with which to fight the hero.... but don't invest in finding say, a cure for cancer or making millions of dollars legally.

Well yeah, they're villians.   They don't want to cure cancer or make money legally.   They Want to Rule The World.   

[Joe]

5 hours ago, JacquelineAppleton said:

Yeah, just like villains can create all this wonderful tech with which to fight the hero.... but don't invest in finding say, a cure for cancer or making millions of dollars legally.

I think this says it all.

[Haleth]

On 5/27/2018 at 3:38 PM, Shannon L. said:

In every place that gets cold in December, it will snow on Christmas.  It's never bright and sunny, there's never no snow with just dead, brown, frozen grass/ground, there's never a warm spell where it's actually raining.  Nope....it's always heavy snow on the ground with light, fluffy snowflakes swirling to the ground.

And even if it's snowing no one will be bundled up to go outside.  Just a light coat is enough.  No parkas, hats, gloves, etc.

(And don't look too closely at the leafy green trees in the background.)

[shapeshifter]

6 hours ago, Haleth said:

And even if it's snowing no one will be bundled up to go outside.  Just a light coat is enough.  No parkas, hats, gloves, etc.

—which brings to mind:
In outer space or under the sea or investigating hazardous materials, main characters will always have lights inside their protective head gear to light up their pretty faces.

[HunterHunted]

On 5/30/2018 at 6:39 AM, Haleth said:

And even if it's snowing no one will be bundled up to go outside.  Just a light coat is enough.  No parkas, hats, gloves, etc.

(And don't look too closely at the leafy green trees in the background.)

Conversely if it's a show filmed in Vancouver they will try their darndest to depict beach and summer scenes even if we can see the breath of every person "having fun at the summer picnic."

[Trini]

Glass coffee tables only exist for dramatic death scenes.

[GaT]

1 minute ago, Trini said:

Glass coffee tables only exist for dramatic death scenes.

As the owner of TWO glass coffee tables, I hope not.

[shapeshifter]

7 minutes ago, GaT said:

As the owner of TWO glass coffee tables, I hope not.

Heh, I'm pretty sure, @GaT, your glass coffee tables will only be involved in dramatic death scenes if they are used as props on TV.

[Trini]

12 minutes ago, GaT said:

As the owner of TWO glass coffee tables, I hope not.

As long as you're not a) involved in a shoot-out or b) a knock-down, drag-out fight, c) falling from your balcony, or d) fainting after being drugged, you should be fine!

[GaT]

4 minutes ago, Trini said:

As long as you're not a) involved in a shoot-out or b) a knock-down, drag-out fight, c) falling from your balcony, or d) fainting after being drugged, you should be fine!

Is that a "carved in stone" kind of thing? None of the above? :-)

[Shannon L.]

11 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

Conversely if it's a show filmed in Vancouver they will try their darndest to depict beach and summer scenes even if we can see the breath of every person "having fun at the summer picnic."

That reminds me:  On tv, you always see people who hate camping, but no one ever hates the beach.  No one ever hates the sand, or the heat  or is afraid of the water. 

9 hours ago, Trini said:

Glass coffee tables only exist for dramatic death scenes.

Heh.  We had one with a removable top for years and the most dramatic thing that happened was when our poor cat didn't realize that we'd taken the top off to clean it and took a flying leap to get on top of it.  Because he was ok, it did make for a good laugh.

Edited June 1, 2018 by Shannon L.

[Katy M]

52 minutes ago, Shannon L. said:

That reminds me:  On tv, you always see people who hate camping, but no one ever hates the beach.  No one ever hates the sand, or the heat  or is afraid of the water. 

Sheldon?  Brick? Although I'm sure with Brick it doesn't come up.  Not a lot of Beach in Indiana.  Monk?

54 minutes ago, Shannon L. said:

Heh.  We had one with a removable top for years and the most dramatic thing that happened was when our poor cat didn't realize that we'd taken the top off to clean it and took a flying leap to get on top of it.  Because he was ok, it did make for a good laugh.

Cats are hilarious.  My last cat used to sleep on a rocking chair.  And then she'd stretch and fall off.  Then she'd get up and look at me and say "why did you do that?"  OK, she didn't literally say that. I'm not insane.  But, you could clearly see it in her eyes.

[Orillia]

Speaking of coffee tables, there's usually a selection of magazines nicely spread out so you can see the titles ,  instead of being in one pile.

[GaT]

18 minutes ago, Orillia said:

Speaking of coffee tables, there's usually a selection of magazines nicely spread out so you can see the titles ,  instead of being in one pile.

I have this on one of my glass coffee tables, the magazines are fanned out. Apparently I'm living in a TV show.

[Raja]

People still get magazines, they must go along with the paper  library in lieu of a device aboard a starship.

[Annber03]

8 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

That reminds me:  On tv, you always see people who hate camping, but no one ever hates the beach.  No one ever hates the sand, or the heat  or is afraid of the water. 

Reid and Gideon from "Criminal Minds" are/were known to not like the beach. They never specified what Gideon's reasons for not liking it are, but Reid mentioned the sand being a part of why he didn't like it in an episode once :).

7 hours ago, Katy M said:

Cats are hilarious.  My last cat used to sleep on a rocking chair.  And then she'd stretch and fall off.  Then she'd get up and look at me and say "why did you do that?"  OK, she didn't literally say that. I'm not insane.  But, you could clearly see it in her eyes.

LOL, my cats are like that, too :D. Either that or if they fall, they just kinda cover and wander off like, "...yeah. I totally meant to do that." 

One of my cats always likes to lay or roll around right on the edge of the couch or a little bench thing we have, and every time she does that I'm just sitting here like, "You're gonna fall off of there if you make one wrong move." :p. Sometimes she's managed to catch herself just as she's about to slip, though. 

[shapeshifter]

54 minutes ago, Annber03 said:

Reid and Gideon from "Criminal Minds" are/were known to not like the beach. They never specified what Gideon's reasons for not liking it are, but Reid mentioned the sand being a part of why he didn't like it in an episode once :).

Even in the cold weather, I like to walk on the beach; I should get rain boots; the sand always finds its way into the shoes, through the socks, and sticks to my feet, and then winds up in my bed.
On TV, has anyone ever complained about sand in the bed?

[Shannon L.]

4 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

Even in the cold weather, I like to walk on the beach; I should get rain boots; the sand always finds its way into the shoes, through the socks, and sticks to my feet, and then winds up in my bed.
On TV, has anyone ever complained about sand in the bed?

I know, right?!  No matter who hard I tried, whenever I went to the beach, I could not stop sand from getting into everything.  I think the beach is beautiful, but I'd rather view it while on a drive along the coast, or in a restaurant with large picture windows overlooking it. 

Sand in bed reminds me:  Sex (or just rolling in the sand making out) on the beach.  Is it that common?  Because no matter how romantic the famous scene in From Here to Eternity (and others) looked, all I could think was how scratchy and uncomfortable that would be.  Ew.

[Raja]

16 minutes ago, Shannon L. said:

I know, right?!  No matter who hard I tried, whenever I went to the beach, I could not stop sand from getting into everything.  I think the beach is beautiful, but I'd rather view it while on a drive along the coast, or in a restaurant with large picture windows overlooking it. 

Sand in bed reminds me:  Sex (or just rolling in the sand making out) on the beach.  Is it that common?  Because no matter how romantic the famous scene in From Here to Eternity (and others) looked, all I could think was how scratchy and uncomfortable that would be.  Ew.

They were under the old production code, First Sergeant Warden and Karen Holmes only kissed and Lorene was just a hostess and not a prostitute ;)

It took 25 years for such actions by leading characters to be acceptable on the TV  miniseries..

[theredhead77]

20 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Even in the cold weather, I like to walk on the beach; I should get rain boots; the sand always finds its way into the shoes, through the socks, and sticks to my feet, and then winds up in my bed.
On TV, has anyone ever complained about sand in the bed?

I suggest getting an Ugg-like boot. I don't recommend Uggs (and don't recommend Googling why) but Uggs were originally designed for surfers and fugly or not, that style of shoe are great beach shoes for walking in the sand.

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, theredhead77 said:

I suggest getting an Ugg-like boot. I don't recommend Uggs (and don't recommend Googling why) but Uggs were originally designed for surfers and fugly or not, that style of shoe are great beach shoes for walking in the sand.

I do wear my fake Uggs in winter. It didn't occur to me to wear them at other times. Anyway, mine are about 10 years old, so even they don't keep out the sand anymore. When they're in the store again this fall, I should get new ones.

I just brushed sand out of my bed, but it was worth it to have a tiny role in rescuing a seagull snagged by a fishing lure.

It would be fun to see a TV bachelor vacuuming sand out of his bed before a hot date because he didn't want to bother doing laundry. TV writers, take note!

[Madding crowd]

On 6/1/2018 at 9:15 AM, Katy M said:

Sheldon?  Brick? Although I'm sure with Brick it doesn't come up.  Not a lot of Beach in Indiana.  Monk?

Cats are hilarious.  My last cat used to sleep on a rocking chair.  And then she'd stretch and fall off.  Then she'd get up and look at me and say "why did you do that?"  OK, she didn't literally say that. I'm not insane.  But, you could clearly see it in her eyes.

We go to the beautiful beaches in Indiana all summer-they are on Lake Michigan though.

[Jacqs]

I actually prefer the kind of child beauty contest i won in real life to Toddlers and Tiaras and JonBenet Ramsey ones - a small, fun local thing that no one outside our town took seriously.

[ChromaKelly]

On TV, if you go to a child's birthday party, there will be a clown or a magician. There's also a good chance of animals. The clown/magician may actually be either - the main character in disguise for snooping purposes, or to get back at an ex, or somehow for plot reasons the real clown or magician was not available and the main character had to fill in. Or, the clown/magician is actually an assassin or some other evildoer going to cause harm.

[Shannon L.]

2 hours ago, ChromaKelly said:

On TV, if you go to a child's birthday party, there will be a clown or a magician. There's also a good chance of animals. The clown/magician may actually be either - the main character in disguise for snooping purposes, or to get back at an ex, or somehow for plot reasons the real clown or magician was not available and the main character had to fill in. Or, the clown/magician is actually an assassin or some other evildoer going to cause harm.

Also, if a female stripper (usually just one) or male strippers (at least 2 or more) walk into a kids party, they won't step back and say to the adult who opened the door, "I think there's been a mix up", they'll just turn on the music and start dancing. 

[shapeshifter]

Only On TV will someone who has never before seen a gun--let alone touched one--come across a gun--especially at the scene of a crime--and that person will always, without fail, pick up the gun and get fingerprints on the gun. 

 

And if someone opens the door to a person's office, if that person is sitting leaned back in the desk chair with the chair's back to the door (because it's always a swivel chair) the person in the chair will have been shot in the forehead.

Edited June 5, 2018 by shapeshifter

[HunterHunted]

4 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

Also, if a female stripper (usually just one) or male strippers (at least 2 or more) walk into a kids party, they won't step back and say to the adult who opened the door, "I think there's been a mix up", they'll just turn on the music and start dancing. 

I have seen this happen in real life. Though in hindsight, it's pretty clear that the family, who hired the stripper, probably informed the stripper what was up and the birthday party was for an 18 year old. It was still skeevy. The party was also at an Olive Garden. It was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay weird. And everyone in his ratchet family--mom, dad, brothers, sisters, cousins, grandpa, and grandma--was into her stripping for the poor boy.

[Annber03]

3 minutes ago, HunterHunted said:

And everyone in his ratchet family--mom, dad, brothers, sisters, cousins, grandpa, and grandma--was into her stripping for the poor boy.

Dear god, if I were that boy, I'd be slinking down in my seat and trying to see if I could find the nearest exit. That's....super creepy. 

[Katy M]

19 minutes ago, HunterHunted said:

I have seen this happen in real life. Though in hindsight, it's pretty clear that the family, who hired the stripper, probably informed the stripper what was up and the birthday party was for an 18 year old. It was still skeevy. The party was also at an Olive Garden. It was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay weird. And everyone in his ratchet family--mom, dad, brothers, sisters, cousins, grandpa, and grandma--was into her stripping for the poor boy.

At an Olive Garden?  A stripper stripping at Olive Garden?  Did they have their own private room?  Because kids go to the Olive Garden.  Heck, I don't want to see a stripper and I go to the Olive Garden.  Or I would if the one around here hadn't closed.

[HunterHunted]

Just now, Annber03 said:

Dear god, if I were that boy, I'd be slinking down in my seat and trying to see if I could find the nearest exit. That's....super creepy. 

 

10 minutes ago, Katy M said:

At an Olive Garden?  A stripper stripping at Olive Garden?  Did they have their own private room?  Because kids go to the Olive Garden.  Heck, I don't want to see a stripper and I go to the Olive Garden.  Or I would if the one around here hadn't closed.

It was so creepy. Just so creepy. The stripper was wearing this giant bow, like you see on cars in car commercials. The kid's family kept chanting that he needed to "unwrap" his present.

It was in a room that they used for parties; however, I was there for a separate party in the same room. So awkward. It was many years ago, but I'm going to let everyone know that it was an Olive Garden in the Akron Ohio area so that people don't freak out about their personal Olive Garden.

[Annber03]

Just now, HunterHunted said:

The kid's family kept chanting that he needed to "unwrap" his present.

Oh, my lord... *Puts head in hands*

Quote

It was in a room that they used for parties; however, I was there for a separate party in the same room. So awkward. It was many years ago, but I'm going to let everyone know that it was an Olive Garden in the Akron Ohio area so that people don't freak out about their personal Olive Garden.

LOL, good to know :p. But yeah, you'd think they would've at least tried to make it so your party wasn't stuck in the same room with that one or something.

I wonder what it must've been like for the poor employees working that night. 

[HunterHunted]

In defense of the poor boy, he was the only person in his party who was mortified. Everyone else was enthusiastic. He was horrified. I'm hoping that things worked out for him.

And yeah, those employees. I remember us tipping them heavily because of this debacle.

[shapeshifter]

58 minutes ago, HunterHunted said:

It was so creepy. Just so creepy. The stripper was wearing this giant bow, like you see on cars in car commercials. The kid's family kept chanting that he needed to "unwrap" his present.

It was in a room that they used for parties; however, I was there for a separate party in the same room. So awkward. It was many years ago, but I'm going to let everyone know that it was an Olive Garden in the Akron Ohio area so that people don't freak out about their personal Olive Garden.

Ironically (am I using the word correctly?), this would NEVER HAPPEN ON TV.

[Jacqs]

If only the writer of the Very Special Blossom/Full House/Seventh Heaven et al had heard the old Hollywood saying, "If you want to send a message, call Western Union."

[Katy M]

10 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

In defense of the poor boy, he was the only person in his party who was mortified. Everyone else was enthusiastic. He was horrified. I'm hoping that things worked out for him.

And yeah, those employees. I remember us tipping them heavily because of this debacle.

I would get up and leave the room if anybody ever did that to me.  I think the people who know me know better than that, though.

[Bort]

14 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

In defense of the poor boy, he was the only person in his party who was mortified. Everyone else was enthusiastic. He was horrified. I'm hoping that things worked out for him.

That's one of those thing where when you watch a TV show and the characters are very close to their friends and barely speak to their family: the family getting a stripper once can be a good reason why.

[Anela]

22 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

 

It was so creepy. Just so creepy. The stripper was wearing this giant bow, like you see on cars in car commercials. The kid's family kept chanting that he needed to "unwrap" his present.

It was in a room that they used for parties; however, I was there for a separate party in the same room. So awkward. It was many years ago, but I'm going to let everyone know that it was an Olive Garden in the Akron Ohio area so that people don't freak out about their personal Olive Garden.

I think I've eaten at that Olive Garden, if it was in Fairlawn. I don't know how many are scattered around. 

[Anela]

On 6/1/2018 at 12:24 AM, Trini said:

Glass coffee tables only exist for dramatic death scenes.

I once fell through a glass coffee table, and didn't get one cut on me. Still can't believe that. 

[HunterHunted]

14 minutes ago, Anela said:

I think I've eaten at that Olive Garden, if it was in Fairlawn. I don't know how many are scattered around. 

Then yes, you've been to the offending Olive Garden.

[Jacqs]

If a woman wants to be a stripper - or indeed be sexy for a guy - there's nothing inherently wrong with that - but it should have been explained to these dim-bulbs that the poor boy - and yes, at 18 he was still a BOY in many ways - didn't want a naked woman for his birthday. My brother, when he turned 18, was eager to visit the local nightclub. He asked to come home within half an hour after experiencing the drunks and the used condoms in the toilets.