S06.E17: The Smoking Gun

[OnceSane]

Quote

The Playa del Carmen party continues as James takes over the DJ booth at a Mexican club; Lisa adopts a new dog; Schwartz horrifies Katie with a drunken blackout; Stassi realizes her relationship is in trouble.

[ivygirl]

Oh no. Kristen has picked up the Kyle Umansky Memorial Splits baton.

And yay (?) to Jax running his mouth, and the CSI Lite recap of the Kristen and James story.

ETA

Ken is such a darn softy with the dogs. LOL to LVP comparing taking in James to taking in a stray dog!

ETA II

”Does Rob send flowers?”

”No. I don’t like flowers.”

” :| “

Edited April 3, 2018 by ivygirl

[dosodog]

Ken, you're a sly, old dog.  You know EXACTLY what you're doing. 

Which would be adding a new four legged to your home.

I love him for this.

Peter!  Acting like an old man.  Get off of the golf tee!  I still have a crush on him.  He's so responsible and in this group, that's sexy.

Oh Lala.  Not all of us get to be loved by a person with a private jet and an ATM for a wallet.  Some of us live in the real world.  Where presents come at Christmas and on your birthday.   I did enjoy the pissing contest between the two of them.  IMO, Lala won.

When did "hang out a bit" become hooking up?  I have GOT to change the way I say things.  All weekend, I was hanging out with my friend and her kids.  But apparently, that means something completely different now. 

Peter!  Yup. Sees right through Jax and James!  Deflect! 

Dear goodness.  Kristen. Well what's the point of blurring out her nipples? It was Skinemax.  6:30 PM PST.  What about the children?!?  If they're watching Vanderpump Rules, it's too late.

Ahem.  If we can get Kristen naked in the shower, why not Peter? 

Schwartz.  Stop making Katie act like a mom.  

Peter! Seems disgusted by all of it.  Just cash that paycheck baby!  You make old man, sexy.

Sandavol. You are lame and annoying. Polyester. No bueno.

I feel you and your hangover menu Shwartz.  STOP DRINKING! 

Why would you Facetime someone who blew you off in Amsterdam? Dump Patrick.  Oh.. wait.... 

Edited April 3, 2018 by dosodog

[Steph J]

Flowers die, a TV once hung up (in seven minutes. Seven. Minutes) lasts forever.

Seriously Scheana, when the girl who is sitting there sucking on a literal baby bottle has greater insight into your relationship than you do, there is a problem.

[biakbiak]

8 minutes ago, Steph J said:

TV once hung up (in seven minutes. Seven. Minutes) lasts forever.

Nah, these dudes rent!

[rho]

Peter is turning out to be a pretty good Private Deflective (drink if he says "deflect" one more time)

[ivygirl]

If Scheana was yakking at me while I was getting a massage? I’d be, like, sooooo irritated. And pretend to fall asleep.

[Sherilea43]

Is it necessary to show Kristen naked in the shower?  Geeze. Scheana annoys the hell out of me! Her fake horse teeth are ridiculous , whines when she talks and is delusional as to this tool being in to her. Moron.

[rho]

I am LIVING for the montage of Kristen lying through her teeth!! The editors this season are killing it

Edited April 3, 2018 by rho

[Fiero425]

Just now, rho said:

I am LIVING for the montage of Kristen lying through her teeth!! The editors this season and killing it

Kristen's truly disturbed if she thinks they'll allow her to lie her way out of this one! She has no credibility and unfortunately, these are her friends and they know her very well! ;-)

[sadiebyuca]

Oh, Kristen.  You have a horrible track record.  Don't be surprised that they're questioning you about this. 

Oh, Scheana.  You're embarrassing me.  No flowers?  No kissing?  No, "I love you?" You got that tv, though, momma.

[ivygirl]

I wonder how much Saturdays are for the Boys are paying Jax (in Tito’s, Fireball, and Taco Bell) to rep their business .

32 minutes ago, dosodog said:

Peter!  Acting like an old man.  Get off of the golf tee!  I still have a crush on him.  He's so responsible and in this group, that's sexy.

Peter is looking really cute this episode. How is he (almost) always the one without a girlfriend? This can’t be. 

[rho]

Am I the only one who would watch a spinoff of Peter babysitting James? I got a real big brother/little brother vibe from them and totally thought they would end up being the worst room matchup for the trip.

Edited April 3, 2018 by rho

[sadiebyuca]

37 minutes ago, dosodog said:

What about the children?!?  If they're watching Vanderpump Rules, it's too late.

HA HA HA HA

[Fiero425]

1 minute ago, rho said:

Am I the only one who would watch a spinoff of Peter babysitting James? I got a real big brother/little brother vibe from them and totally thought that was the worst room matchup for the trip.

I'd actually pay to see that! ;-)

[dosodog]

9 minutes ago, ivygirl said:

I wonder how much Saturdays are for the Boys are paying Jax (in Tito’s, Fireball, and Taco Bell) to rep their business .

Peter is looking really cute this episode. How is he (almost) always the one without a girlfriend? This can’t be. 

I believe I have claimed Peter.  He's MY Vanderpump tv boyfriend.

And I couldn't care how long it takes him to put up a tv.

[ivygirl]

1 minute ago, dosodog said:

I believe I have claimed Peter.  He's MY Vanderpump tv boyfriend.

And I couldn't care how long it takes him to put up a tv.

Oh no you didn’t! Don’t make me throw this MARGARITA WITH SALT across the discussion board at you!

[sadiebyuca]

Am I listening to this wrong?  James didn't say they hooked up.  He said they hung out a little bit.  Right?  I'm confused now.  LOL

[dosodog]

Only if there's a funnel attached to my mouth.  I just can't go with tequila going to waste!

Heads up.  I WILL lick my clothes and skin.  I have no shame.

Wring that shirt out Lala!  Suck a shot from your shirt tail!

Edited April 3, 2018 by dosodog

[Sherilea43]

I can't find Peter attractive after I saw his huge pit stain waterfalls a while back. Ugh! Oh Lala. She is the most georgeous girl..BUT...that mouth on her and the open mouth chewing of her food!! Was she raised by a pack of gangsta wolves?

[Fiero425]

1 minute ago, Sherilea43 said:

I can't find Peter attractive after I saw his huge pit stain waterfalls a while back. Ugh! Oh Lala. She is the most georgeous girl..BUT...that mouth on her and the open mouth chewing of her food!! Was she raised by a pack of gangsta wolves?

The way I imagine Peter is from a finale photo shoot where the photographer had them throw their towels away! He was hot with the longish hair and 'stach! ;-)

[eggsnbacon]

55 minutes ago, dosodog said:

 

Peter! Seems disgusted by all of it.  Just cash that paycheck baby!  You make old man, sexy.

 

 

Considering more women straight women probably watch this show than any other demographic, you darn tooting I had rather see Peters bum. 

 

55 minutes ago, dosodog said:

Ahem.  If we can get Kristen naked in the shower, why not Peter? 

Edited April 3, 2018 by eggsnbacon

[ivygirl]

1 minute ago, Sherilea43 said:

I can't find Peter attractive after I saw his huge pit stain waterfalls a while back. Ugh! Oh Lala. She is the most georgeous girl..BUT...that mouth on her and the open mouth chewing of her food!! Was she raised by a pack of gangsta wolves?

Pit stains > Blackout drunk, man whoring, non-kissing/non-flower-giving/he-loves-me-but-it’s-so-basic-to-say-that,and woman shaming

[eggsnbacon]

4 minutes ago, Sherilea43 said:

I can't find Peter attractive after I saw his huge pit stain waterfalls a while back. Ugh! Oh Lala. She is the most georgeous girl..BUT...that mouth on her and the open mouth chewing of her food!! Was she raised by a pack of gangsta wolves?

How precious she thinks she is gangster. Lala just makes me smh.

Edited April 3, 2018 by eggsnbacon

[Fiero425]

1 minute ago, eggsnbacon said:

Considering more women straight women probably watch this show than any other demographic, you darn tooting I had rather Peters bum. 

 

Peter has more bulging while Kristen has a couple mosquito bites on her chest! ;-)

[ghoulina]

You know it's gonna be a good episode when it starts with "12 hours earlier."

 

I think they hooked up. Maybe not full on sex, but at least some kissing. James DID say, "maybe a little, but not really." And Kristen's protestations mean little and less. She has a bad track record. 

I DIDN'T like how people were implying that James just volunteered this information, as if he was bragging about it. He was asked. Jax was the one doing all this sleuthing. I was almost feeling sorry for James, the way they were all riding him....but then he called Brittany (who has done nothing to him, who is nice to everyone) fat. Fuck straight off. 

 

 

Loved Scheana being visibly disappointed the flowers weren't for her, then acting all nonchalant about it. "I don't even like flowers, I don't even like gifts." Sure Jan. 

 

Pretty pissed Jax and Schwartz bailed on their short suits. 

[rho]

9 minutes ago, sadiebyuca said:

Am I listening to this wrong?  James didn't say they hooked up.  He said they hung out a little bit.  Right?  I'm confused now.  LOL

Yes, that's exactly what James said. Apparently everyone on this show suffers from selective hearing. But it is kind of funny to watch a tiny misunderstanding spiral into three episodes worth of drama. Usually we only get heresay. It's a rarity to catch it on camera.

 

56 minutes ago, dosodog said:

Ahem.  If we can get Kristen naked in the shower, why not Peter? 

 

Edited April 3, 2018 by rho

[Duke2801]

I totally believe Kristen and James hooked up. Don’t know if they had sex, but made out... maybe first or second base? Absolutely. 

That said, I am fairly positive that James’ affirmative response to the question about Kristen was because he thought Tom said “hanging out” not “hooking up.” 

Tom Schwartz is a hot mess. I can’t believe there was a time I found him attractive. Now he’s like a sweaty perpetually drunk man-child. Not cute.

That Skinamax short starring Kristen Doute was unnecessary. 

Edited April 3, 2018 by Duke2801

[JenE4]

If you thought Sandoval’s outfit of the week was going to be his head-to-toe golf look, then you didn’t see the short suit ensembles he bought for the guys. Alas, half the gang didn’t wear them. Whelp, if you want to look like Sandoval, Here’s where you, too, can buy a short suit. I bet Schwartz or Jax was supposed to wear the Flamingo one.

Despite Jax’s keen investigative skills (replete with crime scene photos), I think cushiongate was a game of telephone gone wrong. James never said he fooled around with Kristin. 

Edited April 3, 2018 by JenE4
Fix links

[HunterHunted]

1 hour ago, dosodog said:

When did "hang out a bit" become hooking up?  I have GOT to change the way I say things.  All weekend, I was hanging out with my friend and her kids.  But apparently, that means something completely different now. 

32 minutes ago, sadiebyuca said:

Am I listening to this wrong?  James didn't say they hooked up.  He said they hung out a little bit.  Right?  I'm confused now.  LOL

 

Hooking up is not the same as hanging out. Sandoval clearly asked if they had been hanging out. James has this perplexed look on his face like "why would you specifically ask about me hanging out with Kristen." It's just that these pickled brain toddlers were too drunk to remember what they actually said. Schwartz had basically been drinking for a solid 24 hours by the time they got to the golf course. Schwartz was so drunk he doesn't remember wandering away, but they are going to believe his memory of the conversation on the golf course.

Lala is sooooooooooo gangsta because she shoves people. I hope someone shoves her ass into county jail to hang with real gangstas. She's a mouthy poseur.

50 minutes ago, sadiebyuca said:

Oh, Kristen.  You have a horrible track record.  Don't be surprised that they're questioning you about this. 

Oh, Scheana.  You're embarrassing me.  No flowers?  No kissing?  No, "I love you?" You got that tv, though, momma.

That's going to be Best Buy Installation Service's new motto "We show how much we care by hanging your TV...and charging you for it." 

Edited April 3, 2018 by HunterHunted

[Jextella]

I'm a hetero beyond-middle-aged woman, but damn.  Kristen has an amazing figure.  The vegetarian diet pays off. 

[sadiebyuca]

Sandoval is an idiot.  I can't stand him.  He's a tool, BUT every single outfit was on point tonight.  I loved it all!!!!

[nexxie]

Best line: “Now it’s just called Tom.” Ha!

[albarino]

I confess, I didn't watch this episode hanging onto the back of my seat but did Schwartz say he drank so much he ended up at a different resort?  Is anybody else seriously worried about him?  I would welcome an intervention at this point.

Not sure what to make of the previews for next week but my fantasy is Jax goes to Tampa because his employment with Vanderpump has ended.  Please, please, please.  He created all of the James/Kristen drama and I want him to go.......Actually, all of these folks are tired.  Whoever called for a cast change, I'm with you.

[JenE4]

6 minutes ago, nexxie said:

Best line: “Now it’s just called Tom.” Ha!

Jax had a few funny lines. My favorite was, “Sandoval spent $400 on that golf outfit and rented his clubs.”

[rho]

7 minutes ago, sadiebyuca said:

Sandoval is an idiot.  I can't stand him.  He's a tool, BUT every single outfit was on point tonight.  I loved it all!!!!

Agreed! I vehemently disagree with every word that comes out of his mouth but I will also be the first to admit that he is the Best Dressed Asshole.

[nexxie]

Tom Schwartz is really in trouble - his family should join with Katie to intervene asap.

[RedDelicious]

The "did they/didn't they" was SO MINOR but Kristen blew it the f*ck out of proportion. She so desperately wants camera time and will act like a complete asshole to get it. I felt bad for James. I thought he looked cute in his shorts suit. He shouldn't have called Brittany fat. But they did seriously gang up on him. I need someone to explain the cushion situation to me. That was evidence of what? I didn't get it. 

[sadiebyuca]

10 minutes ago, albarino said:

did Schwartz say he drank so much he ended up at a different resort?  Is anybody else seriously worried about him?  

I don't understand how Katie handles his drinking.  There's something wrong with him to keep going to that point. 

[Fiero425]

9 minutes ago, albarino said:

I confess, I didn't watch this episode hanging onto the back of my seat but did Schwartz say he drank so much he ended up at a different resort?  Is anybody else seriously worried about him?  I would welcome an intervention at this point.

Not sure what to make of the previews for next week but my fantasy is Jax goes to Tampa because his employment with Vanderpump has ended.  Please, please, please.  He created all of the James/Kristen drama and I want him to go.......Actually, all of these folks are tired.  Whoever called for a cast change, I'm with you.

Sorry to use the term again, but Jax has always acted like a "gossipy old woman!" He just can't help spilling his guts with any info that comes his way! Throwing his buds under the bus is never a deterrent! How Tom got over his best friend bedding his girlfriend is beyond me! ;-)

[njbchlover]

19 minutes ago, albarino said:

I confess, I didn't watch this episode hanging onto the back of my seat but did Schwartz say he drank so much he ended up at a different resort?  Is anybody else seriously worried about him?  I would welcome an intervention at this point.

Not sure what to make of the previews for next week but my fantasy is Jax goes to Tampa because his employment with Vanderpump has ended.  Please, please, please.  He created all of the James/Kristen drama and I want him to go.......Actually, all of these folks are tired.  Whoever called for a cast change, I'm with you.

That freaked me out when Schwartz said that - and, that he didn't even know where he was....that the guys who worked in the other resort brought him back to the Andaz??  

I go to that part of Mexico 3 - 4 times a year.  And, while it's pretty safe during the day and into the evening/late night (as long as you stay in the tourist-y areas of Playa del Carmen), wandering around, shit-faced, almost blacked out drunk is a MAJOR recipe for disaster....and, no, NOT because it's in Mexico - I think that type of behavior is a tragedy in the making at any beach community.  There are a lot of unsavory types lingering around at night - looking for an easy mark.  What's easier than a confused, super inebriated person?  He probably walked/stumbled along the beach to the next resort - how scary!!  

He is very lucky he's alive.  Katie needs to get him to realize he has a problem and they need to come up with a solution - FAST!!  

Edited April 3, 2018 by njbchlover

[rho]

12 minutes ago, RedDelicious said:

The "did they/didn't they" was SO MINOR but Kristen blew it the f*ck out of proportion. She so desperately wants camera time and will act like a complete asshole to get it. I felt bad for James. I thought he looked cute in his shorts suit. He shouldn't have called Brittany fat. But they did seriously gang up on him. I need someone to explain the cushion situation to me. That was evidence of what? I didn't get it. 

It's evidence that Jax is the absolute worst critical thinker on television and would make a lousy detective.

[psychoticstate]

Jax Taylor PI is pretty darn funny.  His smoking gun are two cushions?  Ha!  Don't quit your day job . . . or VR, Jax!  Because those cushions prove absolutely nothing.

And frankly, who cares?  Why do these chucklefucks think EVERYTHING is their business?  If James and Kristen hooked up, that's between them and their respective partners.  From what I saw, James didn't admit to shit.  He was asked if he hung out with Kristen.  That's NOT the same as hooking up, boning, whatever.  Kristen made it 1,000 times worse by going completely postal.  If nothing happened, why wouldn't you just say no, nothing happened.  We talked, that's it.  Throw in an eye roll for good measure.  But threatening to beat someone's ass down?   That would be gangsta, according to Lala.  

Speaking of - - throwing your drink on someone is a total bitch move but shoving someone is okay?  This girl is bizarre.   She totally had Scheana's number though and that was hilarious.  Scheana is pathetic. The desperation for Rob comes off her like the stink of alcohol, grease and tanning spray wafts off Jax.   Most all women like getting flowers or gifts from their partners.  Quit acting like you're above it or something.

What is it with these chicks who go to get a massage and think that's the perfect time for a recap sesh?  Shut up!  Enjoy the massage!  You're only going to recap it 500 more times, at the beach, over dinner, over drinks.  

Katie should be terrified for Schwartz.  He was so drunk he left their resort and didn't even know??  That is so dangerous.  Anything could have happened to him.  Did he just wander off on his own?  Was he left behind by the gang?  I mean, I understand how Stassi, et al. would choose to leave Kristen in Copenhagen and go to Paris but how exactly did Schwartz get left behind? 

I do agree with Schwartz about TGIFriday's or Chili's.  That place they went to didn't look at that tasty to me.

Flat Iron's outfits are the best, hands down. Yeah, he can be a douche sometimes but he always gives 100% when it comes to his attire.  

Lisa and Ken with the dogs is adorable.  Those are some lucky pets.

These chucklefucks drink so much, I may be hungover in the morning from watching.  

[albarino]

Guess I'm going to repeat post--who does not like fresh flowers?  Seriously?  Sheena doesn't because they die?  Shenna doesn't like gifts?  OKAY THEN!  

[RedDelicious]

Scheana's so full of shit her eyes are brown.

forgive me.

 

#untoward

[nexxie]

Just now, albarino said:

Guess I'm going to repeat post--who does not like fresh flowers?  Seriously?  Sheena doesn't because they die?  Shenna doesn't like gifts?  OKAY THEN!  

Wonder how Rob finally broke it off - she ignored a lot of hints that he just wasn’t that into her. Hopefully, she didn’t immediately jump into the next fantasy.

[Pop Tart]

8 minutes ago, albarino said:

Guess I'm going to repeat post--who does not like fresh flowers?  Seriously?  Sheena doesn't because they die?  Shenna doesn't like gifts?  OKAY THEN!  

Not only did she sound ridiculous when she claimed she didn’t like to get gifts, she had to throw in a dig at the gift that Lala did get when she sneered “roses?, hashtag basic”. She’s really a humorless bitch.

[sadiebyuca]

1 hour ago, sadiebyuca said:

Oh, Scheana.  You're embarrassing me.  No flowers?  No kissing?  No, "I love you?" You got that tv, though, momma.

You know what Scheana does want?  

Life-sized posters of herself. 

[Sherilea43]

29 minutes ago, psychoticstate said:

 

Jax Taylor PI is pretty darn funny.  His smoking gun are two cushions?  Ha!  Don't quit your day job . . . or VR, Jax!  Because those cushions prove absolutely nothing.

 

The cushions were head to head. If anything they were laying with their heads near each other..all goodies were facing the opposite direction. Lol! Jax...

[Rosiejuliemom]

1 hour ago, dosodog said:

I believe I have claimed Peter.  He's MY Vanderpump tv boyfriend.

And I couldn't care how long it takes him to put up a tv.

 

1 hour ago, ivygirl said:

Oh no you didn’t! Don’t make me throw this MARGARITA WITH SALT across the discussion board at you!

Oh hell naw! I claimed Peter back on the TWOP boards. Don't make me pop somebody now.

1 hour ago, Duke2801 said:

That said, I am fairly positive that James’ affirmative response to the question about Kristen was because he thought Tom said “hanging out” not “hooking up.” 

Sandoval did say "hanging out" not "hooking up". I don't know if they did anything or not, but Jax and Sandoval completely misrepresented what James said.

3 minutes ago, Sherilea43 said:

The cushions were head to head. If anything they were laying with their heads near each other..all goodies were facing the opposite direction. Lol! Jax...

Funny that neither Kristen nor James had any visible scrapes which would probably happen from drunk sex on a concrete patio. Especially if they only used cushions.

 

I'll volunteer to take Schwartz out for some greasy hangover food. We'll hit one of those hole-in-the-wall diners.