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S09.E09: The Longest Labor


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"Oh, it's perfectly normal to lose blood and tissue while you're in labor", says the semi-trained midwife during a horrendously lengthy home labor. 

They're not in the middle of nowhere. Go to the hospital ASAP!

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It seems as though Maddie may have been in prodromal labor...basically latent early labor. While miserable, it's not dangerous and is quite normal. As long as her water wasn't broken there shouldn't have been much risk in letting nature run its course...women can go days or weeks dilated at 4 or 5 cm. We saw the apprentice midwife stop by several times to check on the baby and the labor progress. 

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4 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

The worst was Kody...and his "relax your face". I knock his teeth down his throat if he said that to me. I'm not opposed to having your father witness your labor, if you want that. But I swear, he just wants one more thing to be an expert on. God, he's tiring. 

 

Well, Kody did talk about Robyn giving birth and liking the fact that "she was a lady" and didn't make all of those disturbing screams and such.  It was her mother who taught her that a "lady" doesn't upset or disturb others during her giving birth...

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4 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

I'm also over the drama of Maddie's labor. It was not the longest labor ever. She wasn't even in labor that whole time. If you're going to sleep, going about your day...that's not active labor. You can have prodormal labor for several days. I don't really count that. Once you have to stop and work through your contractions, that's legit. 

I blame the moms. They're all like, "this is it!" Yet Caleb, the newbie, immediately recognizes that his wife is too "normal" to really be having the baby. But when you get that false hope, it can be super frustrating that the labor isn't quick. In reality, it seemed like a pretty regular labor. 

This is 100% what I was thinking. I kinda blame TLC too though...they wanted to market this as "the longest labor ever".

 

5 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

I just don't know how much Maddie wanted all those people there. It got a bit much when they pulled up chairs like they were watching a movie.

Ha ha ha! My God, yes...WTF were they thinking? Hey everybody, pull up a chair! Get your popcorn ready! What a bunch of idiots.

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1 minute ago, ThinkerBell said:

Apparently Jill Duggar-Dillard wasn't available.

I'm on PST, so the show isn't on here yet, but in reading the comments  - I thought THIS exact same thing on the student-midwife thingy.  Although I think Jill has her beat for the longest TLC labor - wasn't her first "supposedly" 70 hours of something before they went to the hospital and she was rushed in for a c-section, since the baby was tranverse?

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59 minutes ago, Chicklet said:

I'd slit my throat rather than have my father and all his women watching me give birth. Who wants that?

I really loved how Kody implied that the kid wasn't going to find his way through the birth canal until he offered his impressive birthing expertise.

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Is there no forum for Three Wives One Husband?  I cant search this site the way I used to be able to...and I need to vent...my skin is literally crawling off..omg?

Jesus Christ...Kody wins Best Plyg Husband award again...these people are fucking nuts???

Edited by Christi
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3 minutes ago, kicotan said:

Ok, show of hands, who here has chosen to go get some sleep while you are in labor?

Ummmm I did.  When I got my epidural I crashed out HARD and slept until they woke me up & told me I had to start pushing (about 9 hours later).   In my defense, I hadn't slept for shit in days and REALLY needed a good long nap. 

 

I also had an audience with male family members watching/listening on the other side of the drape thingy.  I wasn't aware that certain ones were even there until it was all said and done.  Then I was like "where the hell did you come from?" followed quickly by asking my mom "I'm all covered up right?"

Edited by Steff
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3 minutes ago, Steff said:

Ummmm I did.  When I got my epidural I crashed out HARD and slept until they woke me up & told me I had to start pushing (about 9 hours later).   In my defense, I hadn't slept for shit in days and REALLY needed a good long nap. 

Yep me too—with my first. It was almost midnight, got my epidural and only woke when they would check me and then when I was completely dilated at 8 am. Epidurals can be good for that. ?

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9 minutes ago, Steff said:

Ummmm I did.  When I got my epidural I crashed out HARD and slept until they woke me up & told me I had to start pushing (about 9 hours later).   In my defense, I hadn't slept for shit in days and REALLY needed a good long nap. 

Oh wow.  I'm sorry, I guess I should have qualified my question then - I had three without any epidurals.  I imagine it would be easier to sleep if you don't feel it.

revised question:

those of you, like Maddie, who have not been given an epidural, could you choose to sleep through labor?

Edited by kicotan
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3 minutes ago, MoodyGirl said:

Yep me too—with my first. It was almost midnight, got my epidural and only woke when they would check me and then when I was completely dilated at 8 am. Epidurals can be good for that. ?

I got my epidural at 10 am & had my son at 8:16 pm.   I was OUT like a light within minutes of getting the epidural.  It worked out great, my husband worked nights & he got to nap at the same time.  My mom, his mom & my aunt were annoyed that we slept thru 95% of everything. 

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Omg, I can't believe I just cried on Sister Wives! Lol Lol

that was a pretty insane labor and the two girls huddled by the door in the end, with their big round eyes, as everyone on the other side of the door were all shouting and cooing and sighing with relief and joy as a precious new baby was finally born, was really pretty awesome :). I can't stop tearing like a big schmuck! 

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7 minutes ago, kicotan said:

Oh wow.  I'm sorry, I guess I should have qualified my question then - I had three without any epidurals.  I imagine it would be easier to sleep if you don't feel it.

revised question:

those of you, like Maddie, who have not been given an epidural, could you choose to sleep through labor?

Exactly!  I had my first with no meds and my other pregnancies I had an epidural.  There is no freaking way you can sleep through active labor with NO PAIN meds!  I'm not really convinced Maddie was actually in labor in those first couple of days.  Maybe so, just sayin'.

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And please don't all think I am insane, and I'll probably delete this post in the morning when I come to my senses, but I would want Kody in the delivery room with me!!! Lololololol (ducking)

i know I know I know! He's a befuddled jackass usually, but damn, he knows what he's doing I think. And he seems really into it, not in a weirdo, pervy way, but in a way that seems very touching...like he really just loves to see babies come into the world. In the end, the whole thing seemed like a very joyous celebration, that really would bond a family together after such a grueling ordeal. Everyone seemed to be laboring together. Well, almost everyone. Meri is just such a dark cloud hovering about with her awkward shrugs and shifty eyes and really strange mouth that gets stranger every episode, (I swear, it goes from one ear to the other like a muppet) Aside from her strange presence, I think they rocked tonight. I'm sure I'll be back to snarking on them next week :)

Edited by VedaPierce
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2 minutes ago, VedaPierce said:

Omg, I can't believe I just cried on Sister Wives! Lol Lol

that was a pretty insane labor and the two girls huddled by the door in the end, with their big round eyes, as everyone on the other side of the door were all shouting and cooing and sighing with relief and joy as a precious new baby was finally born, was really pretty awesome :). I can't stop tearing like a big schmuck! 

I have to admit that I thought it was a sweet moment too, and even though labour and delivery shouldn't be treated as a spectator sport with rows of folding chairs, I momentarily understood the lure of plural marriage when the wives joyfully held that baby, and shared the experience as a family.

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1 minute ago, ThinkerBell said:

I have to admit that I thought it was a sweet moment too, and even though labour and delivery shouldn't be treated as a spectator sport with rows of folding chairs, I momentarily understood the lure of plural marriage when the wives joyfully held that baby, and shared the experience as a family.

This episode was a lot more interesting than I thought it would be.  I enjoyed it.  I thought Meri's hair looked great, too.      

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8 minutes ago, ThinkerBell said:

I have to admit that I thought it was a sweet moment too, and even though labour and delivery shouldn't be treated as a spectator sport with rows of folding chairs, I momentarily understood the lure of plural marriage when the wives joyfully held that baby, and shared the experience as a family.

I did too, I 'got it' for second...too bad the after-labor euphoria doesn't usually last amongst the adults for very long...

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1 minute ago, VedaPierce said:

I did too, I 'got it' for second...too bad the after-labor euphoria doesn't usually last amongst the adults for very long...

Did you watch the show that followed?  Three wives and one husband?  In one family, the wives are always holding hands.  I don't think it's a sexual thing at all - not trying to insinuate that.  But even their kids were so close you couldn't tell which kids belonged to which mom.

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1 hour ago, kicotan said:

Ok, show of hands, who here has chosen to go get some sleep while you are in labor?

Oh I actually did! I was in labor for 3 solid days with my first. The first day the hospital sent me home because I wasn't dilated enough--I was at 4, more than maddie when she was in active labor--I went home, took a hot shower and slept for about 4 hours. Got up walked on a treadmill while listening to Howard stern, went back to the hospital for the rest of it.  

1 hour ago, Kyanight said:

Did you watch the show that followed?  Three wives and one husband?  In one family, the wives are always holding hands.  I don't think it's a sexual thing at all - not trying to insinuate that.  But even their kids were so close you couldn't tell which kids belonged to which mom.

Saving that one for tomorrow. Only so many plygs I can take in 1 night. :)

Edited by VedaPierce
Pronoun trouble
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4 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

Did you watch the show that followed?  Three wives and one husband?

I'm watching it now...I'm sitting here gaping at the fully-clothed pool scene. Sorry but shirts and pants would take all the fun out of swimming for me! I got caught in a thunderstorm when out for a walk one day, and got drenched. My shirt & pants sticking to me freaked me out (I'm a bit claustrophobic). First thing I did when I got in the house was get all those wet clothes off of me. Yuck!

But, I imagine to some it's no different than a wet suit.

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58 minutes ago, bamaview said:

It was so refreshing to hear Kody say, Meri already has a large house with no one living there, and now she wants another large house.....Finally he has been saying what we were all thinking back when they were building the McMansions. But she bought the house and it's a B and B. The reviews all say what a lovely host Bonnie (Meri's Mom) is.

All two of them!

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26 minutes ago, VedaPierce said:

And please don't all think I am insane, and I'll probably delete this post in the morning when I come to my senses, but I would want Kody in the delivery room with me!!! Lololololol (ducking)

i know I know I know! He's a befuddled jackass usually, but damn, he knows what he's doing I think. And he seems really into it, not in a weirdo, pervy way, but in a way that seems very touching...like he really just loves to see babies come into the world. In the end, the whole thing seemed like a very joyous celebration, that really would bond a family together after such a grueling ordeal. Everyone seemed to be laboring together. Well, almost everyone. Meri is just such a dark cloud hovering about with her awkward shrugs and shifty eyes and really strange mouth that gets stranger every episode, (I swear, it goes from one ear to the other like a muppet) Aside from her strange presence, I think they rocked tonight. I'm sure I'll be back to snarking on them next week :)

This doesn't sound like you at all, I'm afraid aliens have taken over your body! ;-P 

Nah, I could also see that he was actually useful...some times. He pissed her off when he said to relax her face though!

I was glad Meri left because frankly, she IS a dark cloud hovering around, just as you said. I think it was nice for Janelle that she didn't have to have Meri there when her first grandchild was born. 

Meri takes off, and then will bitch that she wasn't "included" (sniffle sniffle!). 

I think the people who really wanted to be part of the family were there...which was nice. As long as Maddie was okay with it...and I think she probably was, she had no problem telling the camera man "we're done filming!" (and I don't blame her).

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7 minutes ago, WaterSpirit said:

She is one of the most self centered B's out there. Playing in her HUGE HOUSE... completely unwarranted, esp since none of the kids want to stay there to lessen the load on her sister wives. She probably  justifies all of those rooms for her 'clothing business"( for which she must not legally be able to say the name..BURN!) We see her repeatedly picking up the same ugly top, black with silver, ugh, so matronly..and camera pans to rows of clothes. Ack.

was that to prove she needs an assistant? More like she does not want to do the more "menial" parts of the work, such as "gasp" sorting and mailing. She is Above it all people...she is "THE MAGIC" all by herself.

back to the yellow house:

It's her Dream, and she feels nothing but happiness and joy about the house, because acquisition and flattery are her Drugs of Choice. Love how she gets a little flattery from Victoria "she was waiting for someone special to buy the house." Meri is such an easy mark. (nice touch to find family pictures to seal the deal on the selling of the way overpriced B & B)

Hee., Kody implies business will be killed due to not having someone charismatic to run it. TRUE.

and The house is NOT all that...anyone over 5 ft 8 in has to sign a waiver less they be concussed in the doorways. if your wide, good luck on the stairs. 

In summation:

Kody hands his shriveled berries over to Meri and Vicky (who seem to be pretty close and in cahoots together, hum)

and the Heaven's part, where we learn that Meri is so above everyone else that she is slated to get her own planet and Kody can visit HER, not the other way around. I hope she can have her clothing business and B & B on her own planet to fill her time when she is not holding court. Such a peach.

 

 Because se does not care what anyone else has to say, esp those ladies she has to talk to that keep that paycheck coming what are they called again? right,  "sister wives."

***applause***

My God, the amount of hideous clothes she has hanging in that house...I'm guessing I'll have nightmares tonight.

Totally agree...Meri is above menial labor. Whether it's sorting and doing inventory for her LuLuNo, or actually putting some work into the B&B.

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1 hour ago, Sasha888 said:

AWWWWW you guys, Meri fills like many people in the family don't TRUST her! That's so sad! Maybe it's because...as someone last week so eloquently put it...YOU HAD AN AFFAIR WITH A BANANA!??? 

And never owned up to it? Just a thought, Mer....

LOLOLOL!! oh that picture, burned in my retinas...They all just dance around the Banana don't they?

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Meri if you are tired of everyone in the family thinking you are not being smart, focused, or logical about buying this house, then actually try sounding smart, focused, and logical. Every family meeting she responds to questions with, "I don't know," or "winging it" or "I haven't figured that out yet."

Come with a plan, not a problem, like Kody said.

Can't wait for next week. Meri not being at the labor when everyone else was is her own fault. Can't wait for her victim mentality to get called out next week. 

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23 minutes ago, waterytart said:

Can't even lie, this made me legit cry. That pain is excruciating, and I feel for anybody who suffers through it.

Yup me too. I always do...it's just that amazing.  I don't have kids of my own, but stirs up a lot of emotion

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2 hours ago, Sasha888 said:

Meri - "I don't really care that I don't have her support" (referring to Christine).

Then why do we have to keep watching you idiots discuss it? Move on to a new story line already, sheesh! We know Meri doesn't give a shit what anyone else thinks. We all know Meri is a spoiled brat and she's going to get that house come hell or high water. You've apparently made it clear that she's not going to get any family money for this, so why is there a family meeting? Meri's going to do whatever the hell Meri feels like doing, just like in every other situation.

Talk about beating a dead horse. We know she bought it - all of this house crap is just a big WHO CARES!

I think Meri didn't know whether she was getting the family money until the moment Kody actually said she wasn't at the family meeting. Then Meri suddenly 'knew who Kody was' again, and turned back into a bitch and Christine almost peed herself with relief and got all hammy in her act of chiding Kody for 'being mean' to Meri. When Meri called everyone over, fresh off their trip to see the haunted house, I believe she was under the delusion that Kody was going to ignore the weddings they just paid for, the kids going into college, the possible back surgery for his other kid, and hand over family cash so Meri's ma can also live in a giant house..alone. When reality hit that he wasn't, Meri suddenly didn't care what Christine thought or whether she had her support. Meri.

also, I think Meri paid for her haunted house by having her mom sell her place and put money towards it from the sale. 

 

P.s. As far as Kody 'being mean' to poow widdle Mewi, I would have been a hell of a lot meaner. This bitch has balls the size of Utah!

Edited by VedaPierce
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I am not all the way through the episode yet but in this first part it honestly seems like Christine is the only one of the sister wives (including Janelle) who is at all excited about becoming a Grandma. Her excitement when Maddie came to see if she had any tomato soup was real and palpable. And in the couch scene when she asked what everyone else was going to be called, she legitimately seemed like the only one who even cares. I get what Janelle was saying about letting the kid decide what to call her but she was so unenthusiastic about it. And Meri always feels like she is trying too hard these days when she tries to cater to the other wives "I think YOU should definitely be Grandma, Janelle, just you." Shut up, Meri. 

Maddie also seemed to be able to barely tolerate Robyn as evidenced by the scene where they meet up out in the middle of that damn cul-de-sac and Robyn nervously asks "Can I hang out with you for a while?" and Maddie says "Yeah, you're fine" in the most monotone voice. Of course when Robyn started giving advice like the she is the only woman to have birthed a child, I understood why Maddie was less than excited to "hang out for a while." Robyn: "Have you tried squatting yet?" Maddie: "No." Robyn in her judgiest smug jaw voice:"Well, why not??" followed by her expert squatting example. Shut up, Robyn. 

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8 minutes ago, VedaPierce said:

 

also, I think Meri paid for her haunted house by having her mom sell her place and put money towards it from the sale. 

I agree, although she had to wait until January (this past January) to get the money from Bonnie since her Lehi house didn't sell until then.

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9 minutes ago, VedaPierce said:

I believe she was under the delusion that Kody was going to ignore the weddings they just paid for, the kids going into college, the possible back surgery for his other kid, and hand over family cash so Meri's ma can also live in a giant house..alone. When reality hit that he wasn't, Meri suddenly didn't care what Christine thought or whether she had her support. 

Well, I guess she is doing it herself in which case their opinion does not need to matter or she is asking for family involvement in which case she needs to get their approval.  We know she gets the house, but I don't personally get it at all.  I don't see that many people wanting to stay there in that small town.

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