S06.E05: Sex, Lies and Audiotape

[ScoobieDoobs]

Ari & Sandoval need to go find some nice hot same-sex partners & give up this false-front/pretense already.  Jeez Louise, why are they even bothering?  Who cares?

Still wondering if ALL the couples are staying together for storylines.  They all seem miserable.  If it were possible for 3 people to get married, I'd say the Toms & Jax would eventually do it.  At the very least, the Toms seem destined for matrimony.

Oh, and Brit can scream & cry all she wants.  I don't believe any of it.  Jax could be with a zillion women and have dicks inserted in both ends -- right in front of her.  She ain't goin' nowhere.  No way she's giving up a national TV gig & the Bravo dough.  He's stuck with her unless he dumps her.

Edited January 11, 2018 by ScoobieDoobs

[bosawks]

3 hours ago, oakville said:

Do you think she is making up her issues about not wanting to have sex with Sandoval?

Eh, maybe...

Do I think she’s capable of lying, yes.

Do I think she’s capable of exaggerating, yes.

Do I think she’s capable of being truthful to benefit herself, yes.

Do I think she’s capable of sincerity, yes.

But when it comes to betting on sincerity or insincerity with these douche canoes I know where I’m laying my money.

[IDreamofJoaquin]

I am so confused by this board. Two episodes ago I talked about how vainglorious Scheana has become and no one agreed with me, either I was talking to different people or finally people can see it.  The fact that she was talking so much shit about her lifestyle with Shay, that was previously her redeeming quality, that she could be a pretty and sweet girl living a humble lifestyle. Now she's ultra gross.

LaLa currently owns her lifestyle and it's great.  But when she has children she may be embarrassed that she said she was proud of her "little kitty for taking the D like a champ."  It's hard to say for sure though, with so many reality shows out there we sure have been introduced to some megalomaniacs haven't we?

I can't comment about Tom and Ariana's relationship because I'm not her, and I would hate to not believe her issues.  But the way Tom described wanting to get to know her more intimately, even reading a book about romance, he seems very into wanting to love her.  I think she's just not interested in him that way anymore.  I mean who would be interested in any of these guys? 

 

The housewarming party was a mess.  I know they are tipsy in nearly every party scene but this was just a drunken/drug fueled shit show. 

[goofygirl]

They all need the $$$ obviously.  How would they make a living otherwise?? What makes me LOL is Schwartz just getting blind-ass drunk to pretend he's not tied  married.

Old Maloney is kind of a fishwife and I'm not talking about fish. Anyone who lets that dumbass StASSi come on their honeymoon with them has at least a million screws loose. JMHO

[yourmomiseasy]

1 hour ago, IDreamofJoaquin said:

I am so confused by this board. Two episodes ago I talked about how vainglorious Scheana has become and no one agreed with me, either I was talking to different people or finally people can see it. 

She's been vainglorious and delusional since day 1.  

[ivygirl]

9 hours ago, ghoulina said:

I think Ariana is over Tom, and probably has been for awhile. It's not just the sex thing. She seems to prefer hanging with her friends to him 9 times out of 10. She couldn't even celebrate with him when he made things official with Lisa and Ken. Why? Because apparently she had important plans. i.e. sitting in Lala's closet and watching her pack. I think there was a lot of pressure to make their relationship into the greatest love story ever, because of the shady way they got together. They needed to justify their dishonesty and betrayal by proving to everyone that this was the real deal. I think Tom is still super into her (I am one who does not think he's gay), but she cooled on him awhile ago. 

I think he’s genuinely into her, too—he just doesn’t “read” as fakely enthusiastic when he talks about her. He’s not “cool” towards her. He’s constantly prodding for more physical affection. 

42 minutes ago, yourmomiseasy said:

She's been vainglorious and delusional since day 1.  

Yeah, ever since she came on the show I think many of us have thought she was super sketchy, with the Brandi-husband-cheating and the “I can’t come to work because I GOT SOMETHING IN MY EYE” and the gold shorts and bad “singing” and the “Shay and I are 4EVA... I mean, our whole 7 years together were a joke.” She wants to be Queen Bee but she’s too eager for approval for that to happen. This episode’s demonstrations of delusion and pride that whatshisface would NEVER cheat on her were just additional evidence.

[hoodooznoodooz]

9 hours ago, IDreamofJoaquin said:

I am so confused by this board. Two episodes ago I talked about how vainglorious Scheana has become and no one agreed with me, either I was talking to different people or finally people can see it.  The fact that she was talking so much shit about her lifestyle with Shay, that was previously her redeeming quality, that she could be a pretty and sweet girl living a humble lifestyle. Now she's ultra gross.

I think it has a lot to do with what the editors or producers decide to show us and focus on in each episode. They have been highlighting "Jax is a sociopath" for a few weeks, so Scheana was getting less screen time. Less ST means fewer opportunities to show us how vainglorious she is. We tend to remember and discuss the more recent bad behavior.

[sugarbaker design]

15 hours ago, ScoobieDoobs said:

Oh, and Brit can scream & cry all she wants.

Customer:  Waitress, I'm ready to order

Brittany:  You are a piece of shit!

Customer:  What are the specials?

Brittany:  Rot in hell!

[ScoobieDoobs]

On 1/10/2018 at 11:07 PM, IDreamofJoaquin said:

I am so confused by this board. Two episodes ago I talked about how vainglorious Scheana has become and no one agreed with me, either I was talking to different people or finally people can see it.  The fact that she was talking so much shit about her lifestyle with Shay, that was previously her redeeming quality, that she could be a pretty and sweet girl living a humble lifestyle. Now she's ultra gross.

LaLa currently owns her lifestyle and it's great.  But when she has children she may be embarrassed that she said she was proud of her "little kitty for taking the D like a champ."  It's hard to say for sure though, with so many reality shows out there we sure have been introduced to some megalomaniacs haven't we?

Schemer is a user.  Can't say that about any other cast-member.  But that word fits Schemer perfectly.  User, user, user.  

"Vainglorious"?  I like that word & it's an even better description of Schemer.  What kind of person puts up an enormous selfie in their bedroom?  I guess a vainglorious one.  Yup, that's Schemer.

But in the end, Rob did her a favor if he did dump her.  Seemed like a loser.  It was funny to watch her on WWHL, denying up to the wazoo that Rob cheated on her, when over 85% of those polled thought he did cheat on her.

I find Lala a tiresome bore.  She's one-note.  It's only about sex with her.  Look, at least she's consistent.  Since she first appeared on the show, she's been talking like she's a prostitute who works wealthy dudes.  She still does.  She happened to get lucky & rope in some rich idiot as a steady client.  Will he eventually get tired of her when he realizes she's brain-dead, dull & tacky?  Maybe, maybe not.  Can't picture her as anyone's trophy wife, but who knows?  Weird shit happens in LA. 

I'm hoping there will be some kind of dramatic (but fun) break-up with Brit -- kinda Laura Leigh-style.  I'm really sick of her & her now super annoying bullshit threats to leave Jax, which we all know she'll never in a zillion years do.  She can head for the exit.  I'm ready to watch Jax's next victim, please.

Edited January 12, 2018 by ScoobieDoobs

[IDreamofJoaquin]

2 hours ago, ScoobieDoobs said:

Vainglorious"?  I like that word & it is an ever better description of Schemer.  What kind of person puts up an enormous selfie in their bedroom?  I guess a vainglorious one.  Yup, that's Schemer.

Thanks!!!!

I wonder if she and S.E. Cupp were able to hold any sort of conversation before and after or during breaks.

[fetching]

On 1/8/2018 at 9:00 PM, Rebecca said:

The Toms and Jax should just be a thruple, they’re up each other’s asses so much it’s insane.

Hilarious. 

[fetching]

I expect everyone in this show to be a reality show train wreck, but Brittany is the worst, I think. The spinoff she and Jax had, where they spent time with her family in Kentucky and she tried to act like she was a good Christian girl? Yet she has no problem working at Hooters, getting tattoos, living and having sex before marriage with some manwhore, and getting wasted all the time to fulfill the demands of a reality TV show. It sure seemed like her dad and grandma would be pretty disappointed in that, but she doesn't care as long as she gets her 15 minutes. Gross. 

[Sun-Bun]

On 1/10/2018 at 10:42 PM, goofygirl said:

Old Maloney is kind of a fishwife and I'm not talking about fish. Anyone who lets that dumbass StASSi come on their honeymoon with them has at least a million screws loose. JMHO

Yes!!! Fishwife is a great way to describe her---she just comes off as sooooo cold and asexual. If you told me which of these sad couples had sex the least, I'd totally buy that the Bubbas((ugh..)) do it even less than Sandoval and Nugget.

I've never remotely liked Katie and have always been perplexed as to how she made it into this cast considering how blah lookswise and personality void she is...oh wait, she does show a shred of bitchy personality when she's raging at Schwartz and/or deep into her tequila haze.

Although I did love it when she basically told Stassi to fuck off that one season when Stassi thought she was better than everyone else and tried to leave the group((before pathetically groveling back up everyone's ass next season)).

And then inviting her on their honeymoon? Gross. That just speaks volumes, doesn't it??

[ghoulina]

On 1/10/2018 at 10:07 PM, IDreamofJoaquin said:

I am so confused by this board. Two episodes ago I talked about how vainglorious Scheana has become and no one agreed with me, either I was talking to different people or finally people can see it.  The fact that she was talking so much shit about her lifestyle with Shay, that was previously her redeeming quality, that she could be a pretty and sweet girl living a humble lifestyle. Now she's ultra gross.

This is simply not true. I've been calling out Scheana's horrible behavior not only all of this season, but largely last season as well. I HATE how she's behaved surrounding her split with Shay, and I've been very vocal about it. I'm not the only one either. 

[teapot]

Just now, ghoulina said:

This is simply not true. I've been calling out Scheana's horrible behavior not only all of this season, but largely last season as well. I HATE how she's behaved surrounding her split with Shay, and I've been very vocal about it. I'm not the only one either. 

you know what was funny, though?  The flashback of them sitting there eating takeout or whatever & Scheana's like, "oh, someday we'll have a dining room table" and Shay just shrugged like a twelve-year-old, like he could not have cared less.  If I were her that might have been a red flag.  It made me laugh a bit though, even though I'm mostly a Shay-sympathizer.

[ghoulina]

41 minutes ago, teapot said:

you know what was funny, though?  The flashback of them sitting there eating takeout or whatever & Scheana's like, "oh, someday we'll have a dining room table" and Shay just shrugged like a twelve-year-old, like he could not have cared less.  If I were her that might have been a red flag.  It made me laugh a bit though, even though I'm mostly a Shay-sympathizer.

Yea, I think they had very different goals in life, but that's something she should have figured out before walking down the isle. They had known each other a LONG ass time. I think, at that time, she just wanted to BE married. Now that she's been a "wifey" once, she's going to make sure the next one has some dough. 

[Ubiquitous]

Watching the previews for this ep, I kinda felt bad for Schemer, but after hearing her bad mouth Shay, yeah, she deserved it. Yeah, Stassi was right in her TH about short circuiting.

[Juliegirlj]

I’ve always thought Adriana and Tom’s relationship seemed more platonic than romantic. Chances are good that any and all of these chucklefucks would fake a relationship purely for a storyline. Pretty sure Jax and Britt are doing just that. 

[Drogo]

On 1/11/2018 at 0:46 AM, yourmomiseasy said:

She's been vainglorious and delusional since day 1.  

[ivygirl]

I’ll take “T.I.P.” on a loop over that autotuned mess any day.

[Sun-Bun]

21 minutes ago, ivygirl said:

I’ll take “T.I.P.” on a loop over that autotuned mess any day.

It's slightly better if you just remember her lip-syncing this atop a bar in gold lamae booty shorts. Never forget the gold lamae booty shorts.

[Ubiquitous]

So why are Lala and Adrianna acting so horrified about what happened as a result of them revealing Jax's recording to a drunk Brittany? This is so high school juvenile. 

[FozzyBear]

On 1/8/2018 at 8:53 PM, HunterHunted said:

I've been trying to figure out Rob's money situation. Most of his acting roles have names like "guy", "waiter", "cop #2". His sister is supermodel Amber Valletta. I figure Rob is just living in one of her houses.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amber_Valletta?wprov=sfla1

When he was gretting Tom and Ariana he did this weird little stumbling over his words talking about the house. It was something like “It’s my (pause) house and office.” I swear I thought he was about to say it was his parent’s house or a friend’s house or something and then remembered it’s supposed to be his house on TV. So his sister’s house would make sense. I think all Sheena cares about is looking good on the show.

 

”I love my kitty because it takes that D like a champ.” Lala, I love you because you say shit like that. #positiveaffermationsbyLala

[bethster2000]

On 1/11/2018 at 8:13 AM, sugarbaker design said:

Customer:  Waitress, I'm ready to order

Brittany:  You are a piece of shit!

Customer:  What are the specials?

Brittany:  Rot in hell!

LOL!  Soup of the day?  LOL!

[Pringlescan]

On 1/9/2018 at 2:03 AM, WhosThatGirl said:

I said it last episode but Jax’s behavior in regards to this cheating are really cold and disconnected to Brittany. Like look I know Jax cheats all the time and he’s no prize of a boyfriend, but I don’t know.. in the past when he cheated on his girlfriends he seemed really heartbroken about what he did.

Besides Stassi in seasons 1 and 2, even the girlfriends who were more or less blips in the shows(one was named Carmen I think?), he seemed sad when he was caught cheating. He seems really disconnected from the situation here. 

And this is what I’m not sure what is going on. I wonder if real life stuff was actually going on with Jax at this time? And no that’s not an excuse but still. Or if this is all a faux storyline kind of and he can’t be bothered to care?  He just seems over it and tired and annoyed at the whole thing. And yeah.. it kind of feels like we are literally watching him have the same conversation over and over again, just with different people. 

Also Kristen sort of feels like a non entity this season. 

I don't think he's over it, and I think he's sad and heartbroken he messed up. I think the issue is the little clique of girls keep bringing things up and pushing Brittany. Every time they're together they can't just hang out it's always "Jax this or Jax that". Regardless of their dislike for Jax they all just need to back off and let whatever happens happen. 

[walnutqueen]

Poor, poor damaged Jason/Jax.  His inner strife keeps unleashing his penis.  Such a tortured "soul".

He's sad and heartbroken that he was caught, yet again.  He feeds on this shit.

[heatherchandler]

On 1/15/2018 at 2:40 PM, ivygirl said:

I’ll take “T.I.P.” on a loop over that autotuned mess any day.

I have had this song in my head for days!

[Double A]

On 1/10/2018 at 4:58 AM, ticklemepink said:

Not buying Ariana’s “story” about not having sex with Sandoval. I think she’s clearly crafted a “rational” explanation to use on national tv me a clearly set up scene with Lala but at the end of the day I think she is no longer sexually attracted to Sandoval. There is no doubt, anyone can feel insecure, even someone as stunningly gorgeous as her. However, it’s pretty clear that Ariana has gotten her glow-up over the past few seasons. The idea that she has become more sexually insecure now that she arguably looks the best she has ever looked (and has made a clear effort to do so) just doesn’t follow, especially since Tom  still is so into her. Either she no longer isn’t interested in sex with him or sex in general (i.e. depression)? I also think she really resents that “Tom Tom” is going to happen. 

I hate that you may be onto something. When she wouldn't celebrate with him after finally signing the deal with LVP to hang out with Schaena (!) I thought and there it is - that thing she does. To be away from him. Again.