S14.E01: Break Down the House; S14.E02: Get Off on the Pain

[Joana]

Not to mention that while she was there (all 5 seconds of it), she acted more like a friendly colleague than a wife. 

Which is super bizarre considering that in the previous episode (which happened the day before in the show's universe) she was perfectly stable, normal and provided nothing but support and comfort for Owen. But, you know... TUMOR!!!

[kingshearte]

9 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

While I totally understand Bailey not wanting to wear stilettos to work, there are shoes in the world besides high heels and clogs. She could wear ballet flats or wedges or lower heeled shoes (like 2" heels or even 1" heels).

I'm sure that it's just a matter of time before we get to hear someone talk about having to clean/sterilize the sex toys that Carina is providing for her subjects.

Re. the shoes: This. I got that it was a metaphor and all that, but it just seemed too exaggerated. There are a lot of steps between the practically stilettos she started with and frumpy clogs. Society may say that you have to wear dress shoes — heels, even — but it doesn't say that they need to be 5" heels. That was your decision.

Re. the sex toys: I was prepared to accept the masturbate-in-the-MRI concept, despite all the handwaving that it requires, but the realization that she was providing the sex toys was just a step too far for me. I'm sure they're being sterilized and all, but still, the idea of using the same toys that who knows how many other women have also used? Nope.

Also, someone needs to have a serious talk with that woman about privacy requirements. When DeLuca came in, he wanted to know whose brain he was looking at (which is a question that, unless he's going to be involved in a case, should not be answered — and he should know better than to even ask), but he already knew it was a friend of his. No way should he have known anything of the sort.

[only1shoe]

18 hours ago, Morksmate said:

Well, I wouldn't say he's the only guilty party...but he definitely bears some of the responsibility of the breakdown of their relationship.  I agree with everything that you said about Amelia...but I would also add that Owen continually tried to steamroll over her and repeatedly failed to listen to what she was saying.  Neither one is a saint and they are BOTH responsible...however, that scene was 100% Owen telling Amelia that everything that went wrong between them was all her fault, and that's just not true.

What exactly was he not listening to though? She refused to talk to him for almost the entire season and then blew up at him that one episode for "suffocating her" when he was actually being pretty patient imo. Like I said, I would've been done with her way long ago. If she actually tried at all to explain to him why  she ran away/doesn't want a kid then /i would see you point, but she didn't even try to tell him. She just ghosted him and expects him to be 100% cool with that? I know I'd be frustrated and looking for answers!

[Ohwell]

Ok, even if Amelia does have a damn tumor, can that be the definitive explanation for her past behavior?  I guess the answer will be when they remove the tumor and if she continues to act like a bitch, then it wasn't due to the tumor.  Then Owen can leave her without having a guilty conscience. 

[only1shoe]

19 hours ago, Sheenieb said:

Same. Tumor or not, I'm over Amelia. I've been over Amelia for a minute. If she's so unhappy with Owen, nothing is stopping her from filing for divorce. I'll give Owen credit for trying to work things out with her, but if it were me, I would've been dusted my shoulders off and moved on. I was with Teddy all the way when she told Amelia to start acting like a wife.  And we know she's going to drag this shit out until she faints and everyone rushes to her side.

I was definitely on team Teddy and Megan there. They may have been a bit out of line because they don't really know her, but someone had to knock some sense into Owen. He's been doing nothing but rolling over for every shitty thing Amelia has done to him over the last season. Time to stand up for yourself. And of course she's going to drag out this tumor situation by refusing to tell Owen or anyone else about it because she just can't help but make everything she does extra dramatic...

 

19 hours ago, Ohwell said:

I don't like Megan, maybe she'll grow on me but I thought she was acting a little too "cutesy" for someone in her condition.

I also didn't like Italian sister sticking her tongue in Arizona's ear in a place of work.  Totally inappropriate.  Yeah, I know, that's standard for Grey's, but she just got there. 

Don't care about Amelia and her damn tumor.  

Yeah, like I know this is Grey's and there's always sex in the hospital, but they were in a room with a glass door and windows during that scene. Ballsy for a new doctor.

 

17 hours ago, Anela said:

Just like he tried to steamroll Cristina, only she wasn't having it. 

One thing that struck me, as I've re-watched old episodes, is all of the unhealthy relationships. McDreamy was McAss for a while there. Characters being thrown together for the sake of a silly story line. Happy marriages suddenly broken up, for the sake of drama, and a new arc for Bailey, or someone else. Cristina and Owen were unhealthy from the beginning. 

It's Grey's Anatomy. Unhealthy relationships are what the entire show is based on...

 

17 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

Ok, even if Amelia does have a damn tumor, can that be the definitive explanation for her past behavior?  I guess the answer will be when they remove the tumor and if she continues to act like a bitch, then it wasn't due to the tumor.  Then Owen can leave her without having a guilty conscience. 

I'm hoping when they remove the tumor she will realize that she never wanted to be with Owen in the first place and they will finally go their separate ways.

[moonorchid]

3 hours ago, Ohwell said:

Ok, even if Amelia does have a damn tumor, can that be the definitive explanation for her past behavior?  I guess the answer will be when they remove the tumor and if she continues to act like a bitch, then it wasn't due to the tumor.  Then Owen can leave her without having a guilty conscience. 

I wanna say season 8 they had a patient where the male came in cause he’d been in an accident and they talked about how he jusg got married to a waitress he’d just let a few weeks months ago and how he’s been doing a lot of risky stunts or something and it was discovered he had a tumor on his brain that was affecting his behavior and causing him to act irrationally. 

Thsts what I immediately thought of when I saw Amelia had a tumor. 

With the tone krista wants to set with the show, delving into Amelia’s deep psychological issues stemming from her father and brothers deaths, her addiction, the boyfriend who died in bed with her from an overdose, and then the baby she lost but carried to term to donate his organs...is not gonna fit in with what they want to accomplish this year. Which sucks cause it’s worth telling but if there had to be a plan B, this is one I can stomach instead of just ignoring it and letting Amelia act like a total bitch to Owen for no reason. 

I’ve felt from the beginning that Owen and Amelia were not a good fit and only seemed attracted to each other’s darkness, and Owen has every right to be angry at Amelia and want a divorce, but he can lose me with kissing teddy cause his relationship with Amelia is “practically” over...that’s what cheaters say, so we know not much has changed with him. I hope when Amelia’s tumor is removed they break up cause Owen won’t know what to do with a woman who is of sound mind.

[Ohwell]

15 minutes ago, moonorchid said:

I hope when Amelia’s tumor is removed they break up cause Owen won’t know what to do with a woman who is of sound mind.

Oh I think he'll do just fine.  

[Guest]

On ‎9‎/‎29‎/‎2017 at 2:13 AM, NUguy514 said:

 Since Derek is dead and you can't operate on yourself, Ames, and since you two are/were apparently the only surgeons capable of such removing such a goliath of a tumor, I guess it sucks to be you, hon!).

If I didn't know the circumstances of Dempsey's departure, I'd be certain that this would be a full blown Izzie - Denny situation with Amelia hallucinating chats with her brother.

As it is, I expect that a significant portion of this storyline will be exactly what you said.  Hand wringing that only Derek or Amelia could remove the tumor so she's doomed. Doomed.

[Anela]

4 hours ago, only1shoe said:

I was definitely on team Teddy and Megan there. They may have been a bit out of line because they don't really know her, but someone had to knock some sense into Owen. He's been doing nothing but rolling over for every shitty thing Amelia has done to him over the last season. Time to stand up for yourself. And of course she's going to drag out this tumor situation by refusing to tell Owen or anyone else about it because she just can't help but make everything she does extra dramatic...

 

Yeah, like I know this is Grey's and there's always sex in the hospital, but they were in a room with a glass door and windows during that scene. Ballsy for a new doctor.

 

It's Grey's Anatomy. Unhealthy relationships are what the entire show is based on...

 

I'm hoping when they remove the tumor she will realize that she never wanted to be with Owen in the first place and they will finally go their separate ways.

And there I was thinking it was a medical drama. Bailey had a happy marriage for a while there. 

[only1shoe]

1 hour ago, Anela said:

And there I was thinking it was a medical drama. Bailey had a happy marriage for a while there. 

Let's be honest, Grey's hasn't been a medical drama for the last few seasons. However I am cautiously optimistic that the medicine may come back this season. Even so, this show has always been about medicine and inappropriate, unhealthy, screwed up relationships, that's what makes it compelling. Unfortunately they've recently been writing the relationships as even more screwed-up than usual, which is when it goes from compelling to irritating. 

Actually Bailey and Ben are one of my favourite couples right now!

2 hours ago, ParadoxLost said:

If I didn't know the circumstances of Dempsey's departure, I'd be certain that this would be a full blown Izzie - Denny situation with Amelia hallucinating chats with her brother.

 

She could have ghost chats with her dead brother and father, ghost sex with her dead ex-boyfriend, and hold her ghost baby!!

[Efzee]

On 30-9-2017 at 1:30 PM, ElectricBoogaloo said:

I don't like Amelia so part of me would be okay with her character being written off the show by way of an inoperable tumor that kills her. The only reason I don't want that to happen is because I know it would result in an entire season of more of Owen's man pain and I can't take that.

On the one hand, I understand how tough it is to see someone you love in a shitty relationship. I've seen it several times and it sucks when your friend or family member is with someone who doesn't treat them well. But in Amelia's defense (and I say that as someone who has disliked Amelia from the first episode she appeared on this show), Teddy and Megan JUST met her like two seconds ago, so how are they in any position to judge her relationship with Owen? She's a horrible wife because she's not spending every minute in Megan's hospital room with Owen? HELLO, SHE'S AT WORK. You'd think as fellow doctors, they would understand that. She has patients and responsibilities and she already took time off to accompany Owen to bring Megan back.

Another possibility: she is giving Owen the opportunity to spend time with the sister who he thought was dead for the past ten years. On top of that, anyone who knows Owen knows that he isn't the "let's cuddle and talk about our feelings" kind of guy. When he gets upset, he pushes people away so Amelia giving him some space while he's at the hospital doesn't seem unreasonable to me.

I have an intense dislike for Amelia, but I agree with the above. Amelia's working and she has a big case, she already took off weeks (?) to avoid Owen last season so it's unlikely she'd be able to get even more time off. Not to mention that their marriage is and has been on the rocks for a long time now, so while she was supportive when she found out about Owen's sister last season, it's not strange that she's now keeping her distance. She went with him to the airport and visited once in the hospital, but obviously didn't feel comfortable enough to visit more often. Not surprising considering Teddy's behavior towards Owen (I like Teddy, but not her and Owen and she's way too touchy-feely with him) or the fact that Owen's sister just came back from the dead when Amelia is still trying to cope with her brother's death. And she doesn't even know Megan, Teddy and barely knows Riggs or Owen's mother, so how much fun would it have been to hang out?

But what bothered me most about this situation, including Owen's accusations of her needing meds and therapy because the women in his life don't like her, is that apparently Amelia is the most horrible partner ever for not supporting Owen, while Mama Hunt's toyboy gets a free pass! Um, the woman's daughter who she's thought was dead for over a decade has returned from being held hostage in Iraq and her son's marriage is on the rocks, but I guess the toyboy doesn't need to be there to support Mama Hunt and has other fires to put out.

[JNM5505]

4 hours ago, Efzee said:

But what bothered me most about this situation, including Owen's accusations of her needing meds and therapy because the women in his life don't like her, is that apparently Amelia is the most horrible partner ever for not supporting Owen, while Mama Hunt's toyboy gets a free pass! Um, the woman's daughter who she's thought was dead for over a decade has returned from being held hostage in Iraq and her son's marriage is on the rocks, but I guess the toyboy doesn't need to be there to support Mama Hunt and has other fires to put out.

Thank you, and I appreciate you're a person who dislike Amelia so much but is willing to see the other problems here! They were talking about him so openly (something about 35 years old, and Owen now likes him or something?) and yet, not saying "where is he? he should be here!" when they were saying that exact same thing about Amelia. I know she hasn't been there for Owen much in recent time, but she was there when he got the call about his sister being alive and went to the other hospital with him. At least she made an effort and I may be the only one to think this, but I have to agree with Amelia when she said Owen was suffocating her. Bringing Cristina up was below the belt, but I do agree that Owen can get extremely pushy.

While Cristina made the Crowen relationship toxic, Owen is making the Omelia relationship toxic. Why is it that his family don't criticize Cristina, even though she's been out of his life for three years? Also, I did notice very subtle things with Amelia in 14x01. She's clearly upset about her brother still being dead and Owen's sister being, in fact, alive after all these years. If Owen really cared for Amelia, he would have gone up to her and instead of saying "my family doesn't like you, you need medicine and professional help" (what supposedly 38 year old says that anyways?) he would have been like, "hey, I know my dead sister is actually alive and all that, and Derek is still dead. How are you holding up?" or something along that line.

I definitely hope this tumor is the answer to all of Amelia's flaws (or what makes everyone hate her) and she recovers from this with a whole new personality and view on life. When she does, she will see that Owen is not the man for her, and god knows how many years have gone by. Then, her memory may be impaired so she won't remember Jake or whatever his name is, her brainless unicorn baby, Derek dying, or anything like that. I just really hope the writers treat this with care and don't do any freaky ghost sex with Jake or whatever his name is. Please. Or show her holding the brainless unicorn baby, that thing was creepy!

[Marley]

I really liked these episodes and I’m glad Teddy came back. She reminds me of good times.

I have never liked Amelia tho and she has always been annoying so I don’t think the tumour can take all the credit. I don’t even like Owen that much but now I feel bad he can’t leave her because that would be an asshole move lol.

Im glad Jo and Alex got back together. Beating up Andrew was pretty bad..I don’t think he’s a crazy woman beater tho.

Can Riggs and Meredith just pls not be a thing. She’s so awesome when she is just rocking her work. Plus I just don’t see chemistry between her and Riggs. It’s not working for me.

Andrews sister I’m not sure about yet. Like did they not grow up together? How come she has an accent and he doesn’t.

[statsgirl]

23 hours ago, Court said:

While I agree Amelia doesn't need to spend all her time in the hospital room, she didn't spend one second in there. You would think she could have popped in and said hello at the beginning/end of shift. Or at least know what is going on with Megan. Also, Amelia took a few months off of work for the express purpose of avoiding Owen.

She was there through all his shock at finding out Megan was alive. And she was there with him at the hospital until she saw Teddy comforting Owen.  And then she left them all on their own.  (Amelia took a few months off work so that Caterina Scorsone could have her baby.)

It makes sense that Amelia told Owen in the beginning that she wanted to have children and then when the crunch time came, she found she couldn't go through with it because of what had happened with her first child.  That doesn't make her a bad person, that makes her human.    Between Amelia and Owen and their baggage, there is a lot of good material the show could mine and that would entertain me far more than Katherine Avery or the ridiculous Meredith/Nathan/MaggieMegan triangle or the endless loop of Jackson/April

19 hours ago, moonorchid said:

With the tone krista wants to set with the show, delving into Amelia’s deep psychological issues stemming from her father and brothers deaths, her addiction, the boyfriend who died in bed with her from an overdose, and then the baby she lost but carried to term to donate his organs...is not gonna fit in with what they want to accomplish this year. Which sucks cause it’s worth telling but if there had to be a plan B, this is one I can stomach instead of just ignoring it and letting Amelia act like a total bitch to Owen for no reason.

I agree, it seems like going into Amelia's very real psychological issues, and Owen's too because he's ridiculously controlling of the women he claims he loves, is not what Krista Vernoff seems to be going for.  She's more interested in replaying the original Grey's, with people having sex with strangers because they want to avoid dealing with their own issues and being will to screw other people over just  because. 

It's the cartoon version of these characters.  I didn't like the last season of Grey's but I like this even less.

6 hours ago, Efzee said:

But what bothered me most about this situation, including Owen's accusations of her needing meds and therapy because the women in his life don't like her, is that apparently Amelia is the most horrible partner ever for not supporting Owen, while Mama Hunt's toyboy gets a free pass! Um, the woman's daughter who she's thought was dead for over a decade has returned from being held hostage in Iraq and her son's marriage is on the rocks, but I guess the toyboy doesn't need to be there to support Mama Hunt and has other fires to put out.

LOL at "other fires to put out."

I was glad to see them at first but the hypocrisy and quick-to-judgeyness of Megan, Teddy and Mama Hunt has really put me off them.  When are Megan and Teddy leaving?

Edited October 1, 2017 by statsgirl

[-pj-]

9 minutes ago, statsgirl said:

It makes sense that Amelia told Owen in the beginning that she wanted to have children and then when the crunch time came, she found she couldn't go through with it because of what had happened with her first child.  That doesn't make her a bad person, that makes her human.    Between Amelia and Owen and their baggage, there is a lot of good material the show. 

Amelia and Owen both want children. And what I think Owen can’t get over is that she told him she wants then and now she doesn’t. Somehow he hasn’t realised her fear - don’t get me wrong I don’t fully expect him too but he does know about her first. Yet she can’t tell him either. This was the problem with these two and why I never really wanted to see them together. They both have so much baggage that they don’t work out together. Plus they rushed in, now Owen is known for this but Amelia avoids the big things. 

I got to thinking about Amelia scene with Jackson and the jaw. I actually thought she was kidding at first. Amelia had a dark sense of humour and always made inappropriate comments . But now we know it’s a tumour it made sense. I’m just wondering since when has she had it? As how she was last season has been her personality since she came to greys. Unless it started when she came as she did break up with James who was perfect for her as he balanced her out. That could have been the first rushed impulsive decision. 

41 minutes ago, Marley said:

Andrews sister I’m not sure about yet. Like did they not grow up together? How come she has an accent and he doesn’t.

They could have grown up together and him still not have the accent. It depends how much older she is. As my uncles family immigrated to the US over 30 years ago when he moved he was 20 and his sisters were under 10. So they developed and pick up the American accent easily but my uncle didn’t. And still today, you can often hear his native accent when he’s speaking English but his sisters don’t have it at all. 

[katenm]

More sex happens in that hospital than happened in my co-ed college dorm!

[only1shoe]

5 hours ago, Marley said:

I have never liked Amelia tho and she has always been annoying so I don’t think the tumour can take all the credit. I don’t even like Owen that much but now I feel bad he can’t leave her because that would be an asshole move lol.

That's the worst part of this whole tumor thing. Owen is going to get sucked into this BS storyline now too.

 

5 hours ago, statsgirl said:

She was there through all his shock at finding out Megan was alive. And she was there with him at the hospital until she saw Teddy comforting Owen.  And then she left them all on their own.  (Amelia took a few months off work so that Caterina Scorsone could have her baby.)

It makes sense that Amelia told Owen in the beginning that she wanted to have children and then when the crunch time came, she found she couldn't go through with it because of what had happened with her first child.  That doesn't make her a bad person, that makes her human.   

It's still kinda weird that she never once throughout the day at least came to check-in on them. I know my family would be raising questions too. Especially because Megan's never even met Amelia before, you'd think she would want to make a good first impression?

And its not that her changing her mind about wanting a baby is what makes her a bad person, its running away from home for months and then coming back to work while completely ignoring your husband and refusing to talk about your issues that makes her a shitty person.

[Court]

3 hours ago, only1shoe said:

That's the worst part of this whole tumor thing. Owen is going to get sucked into this BS storyline now too.

 

It's still kinda weird that she never once throughout the day at least came to check-in on them. I know my family would be raising questions too. Especially because Megan's never even met Amelia before, you'd think she would want to make a good first impression?

And its not that her changing her mind about wanting a baby is what makes her a bad person, its running away from home for months and then coming back to work while completely ignoring your husband and refusing to talk about your issues that makes her a shitty person.

Exactly. Plus, she blames him for this which baffles me. He tried to talk to her. She even avoided Owen at work physically running away from him in order to not speak to him. That's not how you deal with things with your husband.

This keeps getting likened to Christina/Owen and it's not the same at all. Christina never wanted kids and was very upfront about this with Owen. Yet he pushed and tried to change her mind. He was wrong there. 

[skermac]

I don't dislike any of the characters for anything they do, when I see something I don't like or think is stipud the first thing that pops into my mind is screw shonda rimes, she is the reason Owen, Amelia, and anyone else says what they say, its all her fault, and ABC overlooks it because of high ratings. I would not overlook anything if I was in charge of ABC, I would get final approval on all scripts if I was head of ABC for better or worse, one thing is for sure, almost every episode would have a happy ending, not all but most

[ElectricBoogaloo]

14 hours ago, -pj- said:

They could have grown up together and him still not have the accent. It depends how much older she is. As my uncles family immigrated to the US over 30 years ago when he moved he was 20 and his sisters were under 10. So they developed and pick up the American accent easily but my uncle didn’t. And still today, you can often hear his native accent when he’s speaking English but his sisters don’t have it at all. 

ITA - I know immigrants from several different countries and their accents depend a lot on how old they were when they moved. One girl I knew moved from Australia when she was eight and her sister was ten. Her sister had a slightly noticeable accent (she sounded mostly American but there were certain vowel sounds that she pronounced differently). The girl I knew had no accent at all. She sounded totally American - except when she read aloud. Then suddenly she sounded Australian (even when she was reading aloud in French).

The other factor may be that Andrew wanted to sound American so he made an effort to speak with an American accent/without an Italian accent. Given that he goes by Andrew instead of his given name of Andrea, it wouldn't surprise me if he was younger when he moved AND he wanted to sound American.

On 9/30/2017 at 2:44 PM, only1shoe said:

Yeah, like I know this is Grey's and there's always sex in the hospital, but they were in a room with a glass door and windows during that scene. Ballsy for a new doctor.

Heh, apparently knows that it's okay to have sex in the hospital, even the new people! The new employee orientation probably includes a tour of all the spots in the hospital where you can have sex.

[Daisy]

On 9/29/2017 at 5:15 PM, Cementhead said:

I will join you at the table for two way back in the corner.  Because I feel the same way.  I turned it off after about 40 minutes.  And forgot about it until just now when I got home from work after 4pm and thought I'd come on here to read what I missed.  Sounds like I missed nothing.  Amelia has a brain tumor?  I can't stand her so ... whatev.   And all the namedropping and callbacks to the characters of old had the exact opposite effect on me as it did my fellow posters here.  Because to me, all it did was remind me of all the wonderful characters that used to be on this show once upon a time, characters I was emotionally invested in and cared about.   There's nobody really left for me like that anymore.  Maybe 4 characters, tops.  And 80% of the show's time is filled wasting time on characters I don't like. 

 

i'll bring cookies and sit with y'all
I liked some moments - but for the most part.. i'm with you. 

[Daisy]

On 9/30/2017 at 3:55 PM, Court said:

While I agree Amelia doesn't need to spend all her time in the hospital room, she didn't spend one second in there. You would think she could have popped in and said hello at the beginning/end of shift. Or at least know what is going on with Megan. Also, Amelia took a few months off of work for the express purpose of avoiding Owen. 

She didn't even know who Teddy was.

to which, she explained. 
This is a very happy time (surgery excluded) for  Owen and his Family. They got a miracle.  She probably (rightly) assumed had she showed up and hung around it would come off as fake - to which Teddy, Megan and Mom would criticize her for faking it and not really wanting to be there, and how Owen deserved someone who liked his family blah blah 

Or she would remove herself, because she is still mourning her brother's death and unlike Owen there is no miracle to bring back Derek. I don't like Amelia at all, but i truly understand that response. I don't think she's bad/wrong that she was "away" from the situation, and I do think had these people, 'used their words' (rather than being all insulting -  "you still aren't over Derek's death you need therapy" rather than - "I know you are still grieving over Derek, and this must be a punch in the gut for you, but I'd really like you to bond with my sister, i'll be there for you/get you out of there if it gets too much." ) Amelia would have probably been a bit more receptive and willing to go hang out. 

[StaceyNotStacie]

I liked Teddy when she was on the show, but she came off as unlikable in this episode. She just seemed very combative the entire episode. Now that Christina is no longer around, she almost seemed annoyed at Amelia's existence. She had to know that Amelia and Derek were siblings, so she should have had a slight feeling about how Amelia was feeling over the entire situation; she just seemed too eager to step in to comfort Owen. The interactions with Maggie were also interesting, although I'm surprised Maggie didn't know she was a previous cardio head.

Just like any other character, she has her faults, but I don't get the Amelia hate, unless it's mostly because she's not Derek or Christina. She has her demons, but she has always been there for Meredith (and her entire household) and despite her current issues with Owen, she obviously cares about him and immediately stepped in to help when Owen had his breakdown when he found out about Megan.  Had Teddy not been there, she probably would have stayed with Owen again when he had his episode after Megan was settled. It probably would have been worse and created a scene had Amelia went into the room and told Teddy to get lost because she was his wife and would handle it. 

[katisha]

On 01/10/2017 at 2:21 PM, only1shoe said:

Let's be honest, Grey's hasn't been a medical drama for the last few seasons. However I am cautiously optimistic that the medicine may come back this season. Even so, this show has always been about medicine and inappropriate, unhealthy, screwed up relationships, that's what makes it compelling. Unfortunately they've recently been writing the relationships as even more screwed-up than usual, which is when it goes from compelling to irritating. 

Actually Bailey and Ben are one of my favourite couples right now!

She could have ghost chats with her dead brother and father, ghost sex with her dead ex-boyfriend, and hold her ghost baby!!

Sssh! Don't give them ideas!!

[only1shoe]

6 hours ago, Daisy said:

to which, she explained. 
This is a very happy time (surgery excluded) for  Owen and his Family. They got a miracle.  She probably (rightly) assumed had she showed up and hung around it would come off as fake - to which Teddy, Megan and Mom would criticize her for faking it and not really wanting to be there, and how Owen deserved someone who liked his family blah blah 

Or she would remove herself, because she is still mourning her brother's death and unlike Owen there is no miracle to bring back Derek. I don't like Amelia at all, but i truly understand that response. I don't think she's bad/wrong that she was "away" from the situation, and I do think had these people, 'used their words' (rather than being all insulting -  "you still aren't over Derek's death you need therapy" rather than - "I know you are still grieving over Derek, and this must be a punch in the gut for you, but I'd really like you to bond with my sister, i'll be there for you/get you out of there if it gets too much." ) Amelia would have probably been a bit more receptive and willing to go hang out. 

But again, she explained those feeling to Deluca instead of Owen. She did the same thing with the baby situation explaining things to Alex instead of Owen. For some reason, she refuses to communicate with her husband and it is extremely frustrating to watch. Instead she chooses to jump down his throat when he simply suggests she may need help (which is exactly what she needs as she is clearly not over the loss of her brother).

Also, while her feelings about missing Derek are completely valid, I think as a wife she should be a little more understanding/empathetic towards her husband. He just found out his sister is alive after 10 years, that's huge! I'm sure he's not thinking about Amelia or Derek at the moment, so she could at least try to be a little bit happy for him and not just disappear!

5 hours ago, Stacey1014 said:

Just like any other character, she has her faults, but I don't get the Amelia hate, unless it's mostly because she's not Derek or Christina. She has her demons, but she has always been there for Meredith (and her entire household) and despite her current issues with Owen, she obviously cares about him and immediately stepped in to help when Owen had his breakdown when he found out about Megan.  Had Teddy not been there, she probably would have stayed with Owen again when he had his episode after Megan was settled. It probably would have been worse and created a scene had Amelia went into the room and told Teddy to get lost because she was his wife and would handle it. 

Amelia is just a very grating character. Idk about always being supportive of Meredith, because she spent most of season 11 and 12 yelling at her even though Mer had just lost her husband (something Amelia should be a bit more understanding of considering her past). What annoys me about her the most is that she never takes responsibility for her crappy behaviour, its always someone else's fault. And now they've given her this brain tumor so she has one more excuse for the way she's been acting instead of admitting that she is psychologically damaged and needs major therapy.

She acts very childishly and she always seems to be yelling at someone! Also I think her and Owen are awful together and bring out the worst in each other.

[taanja]

6 hours ago, Stacey1014 said:

I liked Teddy when she was on the show, but she came off as unlikable in this episode. 

Just like any other character, she has her faults,, , but I don't get the Amelia hate

To be fair----Teddy was unlikable when she was first on... and she remains unlikable now. I never warmed to the character. I was sorry to see her come back.

Umm... because Amelia is the most annoying character ever in the history of annoying characters. She makes my head hurt.

[Daisy]

39 minutes ago, only1shoe said:

But again, she explained those feeling to Deluca instead of Owen. She did the same thing with the baby situation explaining things to Alex instead of Owen. For some reason, she refuses to communicate with her husband and it is extremely frustrating to watch. Instead she chooses to jump down his throat when he simply suggests she may need help (which is exactly what she needs as she is clearly not over the loss of her brother).

Also, while her feelings about missing Derek are completely valid, I think as a wife she should be a little more understanding/empathetic towards her husband. He just found out his sister is alive after 10 years, that's huge! I'm sure he's not thinking about Amelia or Derek at the moment, so she could at least try to be a little bit happy for him and not just disappear!

Amelia is just a very grating character. Idk about always being supportive of Meredith, because she spent most of season 11 and 12 yelling at her even though Mer had just lost her husband (something Amelia should be a bit more understanding of considering her past). What annoys me about her the most is that she never takes responsibility for her crappy behaviour, its always someone else's fault. And now they've given her this brain tumor so she has one more excuse for the way she's been acting instead of admitting that she is psychologically damaged and needs major therapy.

She acts very childishly and she always seems to be yelling at someone! Also I think her and Owen are awful together and bring out the worst in each other.

did she really have a chance to express it to Owen though? like. trust me. I hate Amelia, I'm not a fan of her. but where exactly did Owen take the three seconds to go look for his wife, to have this conversation? He was (rightly) very much wrapped up with Everything Megan, and the first conversation, I remember them having was the "you need therapy." Not "what's wrong? let's talk."
and I do think as a wife she was understanding, emphatic (int his regard). She was giving him the space he needed without raining on his parade. I personally don't think i'd be around them being sad/looking sad trying to be all involved. I'd remove myself and say we'll talk later. 

I get you and was totally on your side regarding the baby discussion which Amelia was 100000000000000 percent in the wrong in. but in this. I don't think she was wrong to step back and let everyone be happy versus faking it and then everyone being well she's obviously faking it. I mean if Meredith wasn't on lead on this surgery i wonder how team Owen/Nathan she'd be  as well because i do think again the Derek thing would have more impact. '

i do agree with you on everything else though. like i said. the tumor is a copout 

[GalvDuck]

6 hours ago, Stacey1014 said:

Just like any other character, she has her faults, but I don't get the Amelia hate, unless it's mostly because she's not Derek or Christina.  

I'm with you.  But then again, for me, it's mostly a Caterina Scorsone appreciation than one for Amelia.  I don't approve of all of her behavior, but like the actress (and the eyes) portraying the character.  

[JNM5505]

2 minutes ago, GalvDuck said:

I'm with you.  But then again, for me, it's mostly a Caterina Scorsone appreciation than one for Amelia.  I don't approve of all of her behavior, but like the actress (and the eyes) portraying the character.  

Pretty much. I love Caterina Scorsone, and can tolerate Amelia at the best. I do agree that she has a lot of flaws and can act childish at her worst. But I like to look outside the box and try to come up with logical explanations, not excuses; explanations. There is a huge difference, and some of the posters in here as well as myself have already pointed those out. Amelia/Owen may not be comparable to Owen/Cristina 100% because Amelia does want children while Cristina never did, but Owen's approach with the two women is almost exactly alike. He pressures them, he pushes them, and then he shuts them down when he doesn't get his way.

Amelia has her faults in this relationship as well. She should have spoken directly to Owen about that baby she had with Jake, or about Jake himself, or opened up when she learnt he had a (supposedly) dead sister. Or he could have opened up to her right after Derek's death, now that would have been development in their relationship!

"Amelia, I- I'm so sorry about Derek. blahblah" to which Amelia would have given a snarky, biting reply; but then that would have opened the conversation about Megan. But nope, the writers thought it was a good idea to have him abandon her to go halfway across the world. That whole thing pisses me off as a whole, including on the Jackson/April front but I'm not talking about that relationship here. That would have been significant plot development, and I think that would have brought back the Private Practice Amelia instead. I loved Amelia on Private Practice, not so much on Grey's Anatomy. Like I said, I can tolerate her when she's at her very best, and I try to give myself assertion to my liking of her by looking at explanations. I know I shouldn't look too much into it since it's Grey's and a soap, but whatever. aha

It's like Owen and Amelia are living two completely different lives and they only cross path when it's convenient to the plot.

[statsgirl]

5 hours ago, only1shoe said:

she spent most of season 11 and 12 yelling at her even though Mer had just lost her husband (something Amelia should be a bit more understanding of considering her past

Meredith  watched Amelia's brother die for lack of a good brain surgeon and never thought to phone Amelia either as a surgeon or a Derek's family to be able to say goodbye to him.  I would have spent two seasons yelling at her too.

Amelia has admitted several times that she has psychological problems, both on Grey's and Private Practice.  But Owen going to her and saying "You need help because my family doesn't like you" is highly insulting. 

I get it, Amelia is a very divisive character.  Some people hate her, some people like her.  She annoys me far less than most of the characters on this show.  I think she was very badly written last season with running away and refusing to talk about the baby situation.  But a lot of GA characters were badly written last season.

When Owen was in trouble finding out his sister was still alive and he'd stopped looking for her, Amelia was there for him. She took care of him, she made phone calls for him, including to Teddy IIRC, she went with him to the plane and held his hand while he anxiously waited, and was in Megan's hospital room before Teddy took over.   Now Megan is back and everyone is happy.  Owen is surrounded by his mother, Nathan and Teddy as he celebrates his sister's return and Meredith's miracle surgery.  He doesn't need Amelia there, he's got enough support.  Meanwhile Amelia still isn't over her brother's death and it's a constant wound.  (My mother died six years ago and I miss her deeply several times a day.)  Amelia feels like it hurts too much to be in the room with the happiness of Owen's sister's return while her brother is still dead as she said so why does she have to be there just because Owen's mother, sister and friend think she should?  Teddy at least should cut Amelia slack since she knows Amelia was helping Owen get Megan back to the US.  But then Teddy specializes in causing problems in Owen's marriages.

Owen needs to put on his big boy pants and tell them to butt out of his relationship with Amelia.  He and Amelia have issues but those issues are between them and not his family's judgements. 

Edited October 2, 2017 by statsgirl

[Daisy]

6 minutes ago, statsgirl said:

Meredith  watched Amelia's brother die for lack of a good brain surgeon and never thought to phone Amelia either as a surgeon or a Derek's family to be able to say goodbye to him.  I would have spent two seasons yelling at her too.

Amelia has admitted several times that she has psychological problems, both on Grey's and Private Practice.  But Owen going to her and saying "You need help because my family doesn't like you" is highly insulting. 

I get it, Amelia is a very divisive character.  Some people hate her, some people like her.  She annoys me far less than most of the characters on this show.  I think she was very badly written last season with running away and refusing to talk about the baby situation.  Bit a lot of GA characters were badly written last season.

When Owen was in trouble finding out his sister was still alive and he'd stopped looking for her, Amelia was there for him. She took care of him, she made phone calls for him, including to Teddy IIRC, she went with him to the plane and held his hand while he anxiously waited, and was in Megan's hospital room before Teddy took over.   Now Megan is back and everyone is happy.  Owen is surrounded by his mother, Nathan and Teddy as he celebrates his sister's return and Meredith's miracle surgery.  He doesn't need Amelia there, he's got enough support.  Meanwhile Amelia still isn't over her brother's death and it's a constant wound.  (My mother died six years ago and I miss her deeply several times a day.)  Amelia feels like it hurts too much to be in the room with the happiness of Owen's sister's return while her brother is still dead as she said so why does she have to be there just because Owen's mother, sister and friend think she should?  Teddy at least should cut Amelia slack since she knows Amelia was helping Owen get Megan back to the US.  But then Teddy specializes in causing problems in Owen's marriages.

Owen needs to put on his big boy pants and tell them to butt out of his relationship with Amelia.  He and Amelia have issues but those issues are between them and not his family's judgements. 

 

exactly. Note that Owen didn't say anything about Derek? it was just pile on Amelia. 

[AriAu]

I enjoyed the episode, appreciated the lighter tone, recognized the throwbacks to the past (1st time I remember Meredith mentioning sleeping with George in many seasons...might even be the first time ever) had some of the (literal) blood and guts or the past and even enjoyed the brisker pacing, but I came away with one over-riding feeling.....these are some of the most immature people on television. Even when they did mature and honest things, they still acted like they were in junior high.

Alex tells the truth, but then gives a reward to try and get his girl back.

Amelia wants to celebrate her successful surgery (that was really just a chance to show off) by grabbing a pink "toy" and climbing into the MRI machine.

Bailey bitching about her shoes and then letting Deluca's sister do her study....with no real thought or analysis

Meredith not telling Owen's sister.

Owen's "speech" to Amelia.

EVERYTHING that came out of Maggie's mouth, from her goo goo eyes at Jackson to her "what about me" speech to Weber.

Arizona grabbing the first thing that moved and continuing on after the "interruption"

And I haven't even gotten into Jo's behavior.

[eurekagirl mOo]

I really hate Owen. He marries women who don't want kids and then whines about how HE wants kids. So be a single Dad! Nobody said you HAVE to have a wife to have a kid. There are plenty of kids who needs homes. But, you know the sister will die and Owen will get his "kid".

Good to see Meredith smile again.

If Owens "person" was that damn pushy and she's not even a family member? Oh hell know. No Dr. would have discussed anything with her. Mind your own business.. Owen is NOT YOUR husband. Can't stand Teddy.

How do you get a clear MRI when women are ogasaming? Because my MIR I was threatened with death if I moved a muscle. (LOL)

[JNM5505]

12 minutes ago, eurekagirl mOo said:

How do you get a clear MRI when women are ogasaming? Because my MIR I was threatened with death if I moved a muscle. (LOL)

I'd like to know this, they can't get a clear brain scan on the MRI if you move even a centimeter. So how are they going to get a clear reading when you are orgasming? 0_o

[Madding crowd]

On 9/29/2017 at 11:50 AM, taanja said:

And Amelia. She can dramatically die from the tumor.

Otherwise I was pleasantly surprised that I like the ep. There were many cute/fun moments that made me either smile or laugh out loud.

When did Meredith start breaking things when she's frustrated/angry? I don't remember her having a history of doing that?

Ans Haha! Nathan bombs out! Megan turns down his proposal and he goes running to Mere who simply walks away. Ha!

Did anyone catch that Megan made Own promise to take the kid of anything happens to her? yup. She's a gonner and Owen's empty womb will finally be filled. 

I thought we had evolved to a point in society where a man who wants to have children is not called a woman, a freak, possessing a womb etc, but is referred to the same as a woman: a person who wants to have children. Why is it wrong for a man to want children? Despite the Maury Povitch shows where men try to deny fatherhood, many men actually enjoy being parents and seek it out.

And I have read too many times to count that Owen married Amelia despite her not wanting children. Not true-Amelia told Owen before they were married that she wanted to have children. She still wants to have children, she is just scared that the baby will have birth defects like the last one.  She has never shared this with Owen and instead moved away for weeks or months and refused all communication.  

Edited October 2, 2017 by Madding crowd

[taanja]

19 minutes ago, Madding crowd said:

I thought we had evolved to a point in society where a man who wants to have children is not called a woman, a freak, possessing a womb etc, but is referred to the same as a woman: a person who wants to have children. Why is it wrong for a man to want children? Despite the Maury Povitch shows where men try to deny fatherhood, many men actually enjoy being parents and seek it out.

And I have read too many times to count that Owen married Amelia despite her not wanting children. Not true-Amelia told Owen before they were married that she wanted to have children. She still wants to have children, she is just scared that the baby will have birth defects like the last one.  She has never shared this with Owen and instead moved away for weeks or months and refused all communication.  

Perhaps "society" has? but I haven't.

[proserpina65]

On ‎09‎/‎29‎/‎2017 at 5:07 PM, Morksmate said:

Ugh!  Yes, that scene was terrible!  It was like boy-child with mommy issues trying to mansplain.  Oh, and of course, HE is completely innocent in the breakdown of their marriage!

I actually liked Owen in that scene.  He was trying to be supportive since Amelia clearly has issues which need addressing.  I thought Amelia was being a total bitch, and she is mostly the reason for their marriage breaking down.

[Ohwell]

1 hour ago, GalvDuck said:

I'm with you.  But then again, for me, it's mostly a Caterina Scorsone appreciation than one for Amelia.  I don't approve of all of her behavior, but like the actress (and the eyes) portraying the character.  

That's funny because it's mainly her eyes that scare the fuck out of me when she's angry.  She's got the crazy eyes.

[proserpina65]

On ‎10‎/‎01‎/‎2017 at 3:38 PM, statsgirl said:

It makes sense that Amelia told Owen in the beginning that she wanted to have children and then when the crunch time came, she found she couldn't go through with it because of what had happened with her first child.  That doesn't make her a bad person, that makes her human. 

It doesn't make her a bad person, but not talking to her husband about it, and instead avoiding him like the plague and running out without telling anyone where she was makes her a bad wife.

1 hour ago, kinnej5 said:

He pressures them, he pushes them, and then he shuts them down when he doesn't get his way.

Owen didn't pressure Amelia and he didn't shut her down.  She ran and didn't bother to talk to him about it at all.

[proserpina65]

55 minutes ago, eurekagirl mOo said:

He marries women who don't want kids

Amelia said she wanted kids before they got married.  She only changed her mind after she thought she was pregnant.

[Madding crowd]

57 minutes ago, taanja said:

Perhaps "society" has? but I haven't.

You think a man who wants to be a parent is really a woman? Should all men hate children then?

[statsgirl]

3 hours ago, proserpina65 said:

I actually liked Owen in that scene.  He was trying to be supportive since Amelia clearly has issues which need addressing.  I thought Amelia was being a total bitch, and she is mostly the reason for their marriage breaking down.

Owen:  "My mother, sister and best friend told me that you have issues and need psychiatric help. And they think I should dump you."

Is anyone in the world going to respond well to that opening?  Especially coming from Owen who reacted terribly when Cristina tried to talk to him about his emotional issues and PTSD.  He made the talk all about his family and not Amelia. A better way to open up a conversation would have been to make it about her instead: "Amelia, you haven't been around to see me or Megan lately.  Is everything okay?"

I think Amelia behaved badly last season, hiding out from Owen and not talking to him, and I would be fine if the brain tumor was the explanation for that. But the conversation about how panicked she got when she thought she was pregnant because of what happened in her last pregnancy should be on the show. That's a legitimate reaction even from someone emotionally healthy. If nothing else it's a good PSA for women who may have the problem in real life.

[only1shoe]

6 hours ago, Daisy said:

did she really have a chance to express it to Owen though? like. trust me. I hate Amelia, I'm not a fan of her. but where exactly did Owen take the three seconds to go look for his wife, to have this conversation? He was (rightly) very much wrapped up with Everything Megan, and the first conversation, I remember them having was the "you need therapy." Not "what's wrong? let's talk."
and I do think as a wife she was understanding, emphatic (int his regard). She was giving him the space he needed without raining on his parade. I personally don't think i'd be around them being sad/looking sad trying to be all involved. I'd remove myself and say we'll talk later. 

I get you and was totally on your side regarding the baby discussion which Amelia was 100000000000000 percent in the wrong in. but in this. I don't think she was wrong to step back and let everyone be happy versus faking it and then everyone being well she's obviously faking it. I mean if Meredith wasn't on lead on this surgery i wonder how team Owen/Nathan she'd be  as well because i do think again the Derek thing would have more impact. '

i do agree with you on everything else though. like i said. the tumor is a copout 

I mean, a good time for her to tell him the reason she's been acting off would have been during that "maybe you need some help" conversation, but instead she decided to jump down Owen's throat, as she usually does when anyone confronts her with anything...

Also I totally get what your saying about her not wanting to rain on their parade with her sadness about Derek, but again it wouldn't have killed her or them if she just put on a smile and stopped in for 30 seconds to say hello before telling them she had to go back to work. I'm sure Owen's family would have understood, but instead she just didn't show up at all.

6 hours ago, kinnej5 said:

Pretty much. I love Caterina Scorsone, and can tolerate Amelia at the best. I do agree that she has a lot of flaws and can act childish at her worst. But I like to look outside the box and try to come up with logical explanations, not excuses; explanations. There is a huge difference, and some of the posters in here as well as myself have already pointed those out. Amelia/Owen may not be comparable to Owen/Cristina 100% because Amelia does want children while Cristina never did, but Owen's approach with the two women is almost exactly alike. He pressures them, he pushes them, and then he shuts them down when he doesn't get his way.

   ...

It's like Owen and Amelia are living two completely different lives and they only cross path when it's convenient to the plot.

How in the world has he pressured Amelia at all during their relationship. Its not even comparable to when he was with Cristina (which I don't even think he pressured Cristina as much as everyone likes to blame him for), but he has been extremely patient with Amelia and her running away nonsense. Maybe she felt pressure because she knew how much Owen wants kids, but in that case she should be feeling that pressure as she brought it upon herself. They very clearly had that conversation before they got married and she's the one who flipped the switch without warning.

Absolutely agree with your last statement, which makes this storyline even more frustrating to watch because it seems like there is no point in them fighting for this relationship. They barely even interact, its like they don't even like each other, never mind love.

6 hours ago, statsgirl said:

Meredith  watched Amelia's brother die for lack of a good brain surgeon and never thought to phone Amelia either as a surgeon or a Derek's family to be able to say goodbye to him.  I would have spent two seasons yelling at her too.

.

When Owen was in trouble finding out his sister was still alive and he'd stopped looking for her, Amelia was there for him. She took care of him, she made phone calls for him, including to Teddy IIRC, she went with him to the plane and held his hand while he anxiously waited, and was in Megan's hospital room before Teddy took over.   Now Megan is back and everyone is happy.  Owen is surrounded by his mother, Nathan and Teddy as he celebrates his sister's return and Meredith's miracle surgery.  He doesn't need Amelia there, he's got enough support.  Meanwhile Amelia still isn't over her brother's death and it's a constant wound.  (My mother died six years ago and I miss her deeply several times a day.)  Amelia feels like it hurts too much to be in the room with the happiness of Owen's sister's return while her brother is still dead as she said so why does she have to be there just because Owen's mother, sister and friend think she should?  Teddy at least should cut Amelia slack since she knows Amelia was helping Owen get Megan back to the US.  But then Teddy specializes in causing problems in Owen's marriages.

Owen needs to put on his big boy pants and tell them to butt out of his relationship with Amelia.  He and Amelia have issues but those issues are between them and not his family's judgements. 

I understand Amelia being mad at Meredith for not letting her say goodbye, but it just got to be too much. Like we get it you're angry, I don't need to see you screaming at someone for the millionth time...

Being supportive of Owen for a few hours when he was having a mental breakdown doesn't suddenly make her a supportive wife. And like I said, I get that she's still hurting over Derek but put on a fake smile and say high to your long lost sister-in-law. Its not like a 30 second hi and bye would've killed her!

5 hours ago, Inerttt said:

Again, Owen finding his sister is all about Amelia and how she feels. 

 

Ain't nobody saying that she had to stay in the room holding Owen’s hand and stroking his hair but damn at least put on a fake ass smile and check in once in a while even if it’s just for like 2 minutes.

 

But her using Derek’s death as a reason as to why she, in my opinion, can’t be in the room or at least check in on Owen is just selfish. 

Agree with all of this. Everything always has to be all about Amelia all the time *eyeroll*

5 hours ago, proserpina65 said:

I actually liked Owen in that scene.  He was trying to be supportive since Amelia clearly has issues which need addressing.  I thought Amelia was being a total bitch, and she is mostly the reason for their marriage breaking down.

 

1 hour ago, statsgirl said:

Owen:  "My mother, sister and best friend told me that you have issues and need psychiatric help. And they think I should dump you."

Is anyone in the world going to respond well to that opening?  Especially coming from Owen who reacted terribly when Cristina tried to talk to him about his emotional issues and PTSD.  He made the talk all about his family and not Amelia. A better way to open up a conversation would have been to make it about her instead: "Amelia, you haven't been around to see me or Megan lately.  Is everything okay?"

Yeah it seems like people want to blame Owen for every little thing. I agree that he wasn't trying to be malicious at all, he was expressing genuine concern for her. I think the intervention from Owen's family was actually necessary in order to make Owen wake the hell up and realize that "hey, my wife been acting really strange and treating me like crap". You guys are totally twisting his words making it sound like he went in the room and accused her of being a psycho and that she needs mental help. That's not what he said at all! He said that "his family isn't seeing the amazing person I know you are, and that concerns me" and then he suggested she get some help (which again was probably the best suggestion anyone has ever given Amelia, cause she definitely needs some damn therapy). And instead of acting like any normal human being and responding with why she feels messed up and why she's been absent (perfect time to tell him what she was feeling about Derek) she decides to be typical Amelia and snap at him, pretty much ending their marriage and telling him to go get with Teddy. Owen wasn't attacking her in any way, the poor guy was just trying to help!

[HazelEyes4325]

2 hours ago, only1shoe said:

Yeah it seems like people want to blame Owen for every little thing. 

I don't blame Owen for every little thing.  I do think that he, like Amelia, bears responsibility for the state of their relationship.  They didn't get to where they are by only one person's actions.  However, the scene in question, certainly came across as him putting everything on her, which is not fair.  Plus, it was condescending as hell.

[Ohwell]

9 hours ago, Morksmate said:

I don't blame Owen for every little thing.  I do think that he, like Amelia, bears responsibility for the state of their relationship.  They didn't get to where they are by only one person's actions.  However, the scene in question, certainly came across as him putting everything on her, which is not fair.  Plus, it was condescending as hell.

Why was it condescending?  Because it was a man suggesting to a woman that she needs help?  If the situation were reversed, would it be condescending if a woman suggested to a man that he needed help?  

[HazelEyes4325]

26 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

Why was it condescending?  Because it was a man suggesting to a woman that she needs help?  If the situation were reversed, would it be condescending if a woman suggested to a man that he needed help?  

It was condescending on two points:  The first is one person in the relationship was asserting that all the problems in the relationship were the fault of the other person (again, I'm not saying Amelia is blameless--because she certainly isn't.  But neither is Owen).  

Secondly, this conversation was not prompted really by anything that Amelia did or did not do.  Owen was actually fine with Amelia not being around while he was with Megan.  He saw nothing wrong with it until his mother, his sister, and his "person" told him he should be upset and that they thought Amelia was out of line.  This conversation would still have been tone-deaf, although less so, if it had happened after a fight or some sort of incident, but that was not the case.

And yes, if the situation was the same and the roles were reversed, it would be just as condescending if it were Amelia speaking to Owen this way.

Edited October 3, 2017 by Morksmate

[GalvDuck]

19 hours ago, Ohwell said:

That's funny because it's mainly her eyes that scare the fuck out of me when she's angry.  She's got the crazy eyes.

They're bright blue like those of one of my coworkers.  Nothing scary about them to me. :) 

[thewhiteowl]

I think both Owen and Amelia are insufferable assholes and deserve each other.  Owen reacted badly to being treated badly, not much of a surprise there.

[Ohwell]

11 minutes ago, GalvDuck said:

They're bright blue like those of one of my coworkers.  Nothing scary about them to me. :) 

Well for me, it's not the color, it's the way she flashes them. :)

1 hour ago, Morksmate said:

It was condescending on two points:  The first is one person in the relationship was asserting that all the problems in the relationship were the fault of the other person (again, I'm not saying Amelia is blameless--because she certainly isn't.  But neither is Owen).  

Secondly, this conversation was not prompted really by anything that Amelia did or did not do.  Owen was actually fine with Amelia not being around while he was with Megan.  He saw nothing wrong with it until his mother, his sister, and his "person" told him he should be upset and that they thought Amelia was out of line.  This conversation would still have been tone-deaf, although less so, if it had happened after a fight or some sort of incident, but that was not the case.

And yes, if the situation was the same and the roles were reversed, it would be just as condescending if it were Amelia speaking to Owen this way.

I don't think he was asserting that all of the problems were hers.  He was just trying to tell her that she needs help, which she so obviously does, whether it's the tumor or something else.  Nothing "condescending" about that IMO.

[HazelEyes4325]

46 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

I don't think he was asserting that all of the problems were hers.  He was just trying to tell her that she needs help, which she so obviously does, whether it's the tumor or something else.  Nothing "condescending" about that IMO.

I guess I saw that scene differently.  When one person--it doesn't matter who--comes in and says, out of the blue, that the other person in the relationship has problems and they need to get help, when both know they both have their own issues and the instigator makes no admission of their own part in the issues, that comes across as pretty condescending to me.

It also doesn't make much sense.  Honestly, I can only assume that they were trying to set up the discovery of her tumor and they did it badly.  I'm not a big Amelia fan and her behavior has definitely been immature, but it hasn't been out of character.  If there had been a scene before this of Amelia doing something completely erratic and out of character, then I would chalk it up to Owen using an abrasive approach...but that's not what we got.  Instead, we had three women--none of whom actually know Amelia--tell him that she's a bad wife and he obediently goes and does what they tell him.  And I can't even tell myself that a scene was cut showing Amelia going completely berserk because the story as we saw it doesn't support it (as opposed to, oh, all of season 13 where it felt like half of the important scenes were completely cut or shuffled to another part of the season).  If they wanted to drive the brain tumor plot home, Owen trying to put his big boy pants on was not the way to do it.

 

58 minutes ago, thewhiteowl said:

I think both Owen and Amelia are insufferable assholes and deserve each other.  Owen reacted badly to being treated badly, not much of a surprise there.

That's pretty much my thoughts in a nutshell.