S05.E22: Where Are They Now? Laura and Chay

[Miss Ruth]

Frankly, I wouldn't want a Michael Kors bag free of charge.  I couldn't stand to have MK printed all over it, or a big medallion with his initials.  Let him do his own advertising.

[CatherineM]

I used to volunteer my time at a charity thrift store coming in to repair high value donations. You'd think a $600 jacket would have seams that didn't easily rip, but I fixed them. Guess people wore something until it tore or was out of style then tossed in donation. They had a boutique area in the store. 

[Ocean Chick]

Glad to see, however many other things they had in common, that Laura seems to have more of a spine than Lupe does.  I hope she manages to get her job/career and continue standing up for herself and her needs/desires.  Go Laura!

Chay - wow, what a whiner.  She should probably be in therapy for depression.  And to learn some life skills/coping skills.  Too bad she probably will never read any of the comments on here, as all your suggestions for easy meals that would make Dr. Now proud.  Put down the fries, Chay!  And step away from the soda! 

[PradaKitty]

Regarding the Michael Kors bags - don't forget consignment stores!

[alegtostandon]

Laura: I cannot remember her original episode, was her husband the one who was communicating with other women while she was laid up in bed?

I just do not get the "she doesn't need me anymore" thinking. No one should marry to become a full time care taker..I mean, cancer or some other disease is one thing, but self inflicted over eating to the point of being 600 lbs plus is something else.  This guy needs to get therapy to find out why he feels this is what a marriage is.  If he is not able to be gainfully employed due to MS, how in the world did he care for Laura? Moving a 600 lb person around takes a lot more than most jobs involve.

Chay: I am so glad to hear that Chay is working! But, I am tired of her blaming everyone else for her eating disorders.  Family has opened their homes to her, and in Chay' s mind, they must also follow whatever diet she's required to follow. No,Chay, you have to learn self control. I just cannot believe there is no LGBT community where she lives, I believe it's much easier for her to cry about it rather than go look for it. 

That whole park thing seemed scripted to me.  I wonder if those people recognized her, I'm sure there was local publicity done on Chay.  And it wasn't like Chay was just innocently walking around the park, there was a whole camera crew following her.  And, if a group of people are tormenting you, why sit down on a bench to continue it, I'd get out of the area.

I'm on permanent SSD, my husbands income was never even looked at, it was strictly based off of my income. 

[Bellalisa]

5 hours ago, steff13 said:

You're correct. 

Joey wouldn't necessarily lose his SSI, but his receipt will be affected by Laura's income.  If he is receiving SSD, that is based on what he earned when he was working, and it wouldn't be affected by Laura's income. 

Why would he have SSI? Unless he was disabled from birth, which MS isn't diagnosed at birth. I learned on here that you don't qualify for SSI just because you are poor. If he is on disability for his MS, then he would not lose his disability if she got a job. Anyway people on this forum make all sorts of assumptions that all these people are on SSI etc and one of them is getting caretaker money etc etc with absolutely no proof of any of it. It's all speculation masqueraded as fact. 

[steff13]

2 minutes ago, Bellalisa said:

Why would he have SSI? Unless he was disabled from birth, which MS isn't diagnosed at birth. I learned on here that you don't qualify for SSI just because you are poor. If he is on disability for his MS, then he would not lose his disability if she got a job. Anyway people on this forum make all sorts of assumptions that all these people are on SSI etc and one of them is getting caretaker money etc etc with absolutely no proof of any of it. It's all speculation masqueraded as fact. 

SSI is need-based disability income.  You don't have to be disabled from birth, you just have to be determined disabled and you have to have not paid enough into Social Security to qualify for SSD. 

SSD is disability income based on the amount of money you paid into Social Security.  So, if he never worked or didn't work very much or worked but was paid under the table, he may not have earned enough to be eligible for SSD, but he is still disabled, so he can get SSI.   

[joh]

4 hours ago, Miss Ruth said:

Frankly, I wouldn't want a Michael Kors bag free of charge.  I couldn't stand to have MK printed all over it, or a big medallion with his initials.  Let him do his own advertising.

I feel the same, That MK is a turn off to me.

[joh]

Chay is just DANG lazy, most women work two jobs, come home and help with homework, clean, be active in church functions. He (excuse me) She comes home and drop in a chair bitching about too tired to cook and being SOoooooooo depressed.  All you have is you to look after and you can't even do that!! Trade places with a woman with 3 kids to tend to and then talk!!

[abbey]

I recently bought a Coach bag at my local Goodwill store.  $39.00.  Only thing wrong with it was a stain on the interior lining.  It was a small stain and I wouldn't expect anyone besides me to see it as it was on the inside in a corner.  I have always wanted a Coach bag but couldn't justify paying full price.  I will be shopping at Goodwill again lol.

[dahling]

Also, if memory serves, in Chay's first episode, the aunt and uncle were the most supportive people in his family (the mother is a hot mess). In  the second episode Chay accused them in a roundabout way of posting hate messages about him on Facebook, so Chay drove to their house to confront them, which made me very uncomfortable. Now they are allowing Chay to live with them (so much for hate) but Chay's mad because they don't eat like they need to lose 300 lbs. Chay sounds like an ungrateful little shit to me. 

[Pretty5Vacant]

Oh my God, I noticed I called Chay "he" in my last post, apologies

[Miss Ruth]

Has he had the gender reassignment surgery yet?

[frenchtoast]

A reminder: Chay should be referred with she/her pronouns. Even when referencing her in the past, please use she or her. It's about respecting her identity. Please see this Mod Announcement for further explanation. Most importantly:

Quote

Our goal is to make sure we offer her a baseline level of respect -- not only for her but for anyone dealing with issues of self-identification and a sense of one's self.  To that goal, we can at the very least use the pronouns they've publicly indicated they prefer, regardless of the gender assigned to them in their earlier lives.

Thank you.

[aliya]

13 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

Michael Kors has a more affordable line that sells at TJ Maxx , etc. 

I just read the other day that Michael Kors (all I know is the name; I don't own anything with someone else's name or initials on it) is having major financial difficulties. You may be able to get his bags very cheaply in the near future. : )

[Kid]

On 6/1/2017 at 0:34 PM, islandgal140 said:

 

I can understand food, drug, alcohol addiction. I can somewhat understand eating disorders, OCD and other mental illness but for the life of me I will never understand men like Gilbert and Joey (or women for that matter) who need their significant other to be absolutely dependent upon them or else they feel useless. Seriously. Who wants to have to bathe, talc powder down, feed and clean after a grown ass human being 24/7 if there is another choice?

 

Same reason women stay with drunks and drug addicts.  It's called codependency. The angriest women in Al-Anon meeting  are those whose husbands are in recovery. Because, now, they have to look at themselves and realize that they are as addicted to a drunk as he was to the alcohol. Same thing. Plus, if Laura can take care of herself, he has no excuse to not get a job.

Edited June 3, 2017 by Kid

[leighroda]

I'm sorry but Chay can lose me with her "I'm so tired after work I can't eat healthy"... I was at work today, I worked 5am-7pm, with a 30 minute break at breakfast, a 30 minute break for lunch, and 10 minute snack/bathroom break around 4 (I'm a RN so 12-16 hour days are typical for me) and yes I get being exhausted at the end of the day and not feeling like cooking... I had a bowl of kix for dinner (with skim milk)... I get that maybe my specific dinner wouldn't be a great option for Chay, I don't know all of the diet restrictions, but as many have pointed out there are endless options better than cheeseburgers... pretty much any fast food I can think of has either a salad option or grilled option. I try not to get to involved when it comes to their meal options because lord knows I don't make good choices the majority of the time, and since I wear scrubs 75% of my time, it's really easy to gain weight without noticing a change in how my clothes fit until I go to put on my regular clothes. I survive by snacking, I usually only eat 1 "meal" a day which is what dr now says not to do... and I'm surrounded by bad choices that are easier than most healthy (ironically, hospital cafeterias are not so great about healthy options) but I make a conscious effort... I make little snack packs to grab with carrots or cherry tomatoes, nuts, cheese sticks... so I can grab those just as easy as a bag of chips and it's not hard at all to prepare, in fact you can even get those things already prepared at chays place of work!

sorry for the tangent, but it makes me crazy when they always start on the "I'm too tired" "I'm too busy" line of thinking for an excuse to eat crappy.

[ShortyMac]

OMG. This therapist, Lola. Her voice is soooooooooo annoying.

[Otter]

Okay, just watched the update again, and as painful as the first viewing.  

Chay made no mention of paying rent to his aunt and uncle, yet has no problem saying how awful it it living in her room.  "They don't  buy the right food!"  What an annoying entitled whiner.  Not grateful for anything including the weight loss while she stuffs a burger in her face.  She's taking health care $'s away from someone.  

And okay, I'm mean, but friends would not let friends be made over by Laura.  

And why do all these people having tats?  If Laura finally gets skin surgery on her bat wings, no more tats.  Will she replace them?  

And that never ending tooth infection -- the tooth would be pulled.  I know because I was neglectful.  

[SunnyBeBe]

On 6/1/2017 at 7:56 PM, dahling said:

It shouldn't matter if Chay lived in a Krispy Kreme. The fact is that the world is full of food that Chay can't eat, and Chay needs to stick with Chay's own plan.  Driving through for burgers and fries isn't laziness or exhaustion: it's addiction, plain and simple. Chay's going to have a really rough time of it while that's out of control. The gall of asking Dr. Now for a surgery revision! "I'm eating burgers and fries so I need another surgery to make me stop."  That's not the way it works, Chay darling. (I can't remember if Chay originally had full GB or sleeve?)

When I see Chay and others revert back to fast food drive thru windows, it causes me to wonder just how and why they see this food as delicious.  I got sick of it my first year in college, when I lived in a dorm and the  microwave wasn't that conducive to meal preparation at that age.  I got so sick of pizza, burgers, tacos, etc.  I never thought of that as "to go to" food ever again. I am so lucky, to be able to have other options.  It boggles the mind why they think it's that good.  Oh well...I know people who are that way too.  Maybe, for an emergency, but, long term, there are other options that don't take time, like sliced turkey, canned chicken and tuna, boiled eggs, yogurt, etc. 

I did appreciate Chay's sense of style.  I thought her transformation was impressive.

It seemed that Laura was so stuck.  She and her husband seem to have such poor communication skills. Often, I think there is too much communication, but, they seem to not be able to say what they were feeling in an effective way.  Maybe they just aren't well suited.  If Joey is sick, maybe that's why she hesitates to leave him. 

Edited June 5, 2017 by SunnyBeBe

[ClareWalks]

I am late to the party but I was so sick of Chay claiming that she got fast-food burgers because she was "tired and didn't want to cook." No, bitch, you got that food because you wanted it. "Otherwise I'd have to stand up and make a salad." No, bitch, you could order a salad at that precious drive-thru. You don't eat fast food because you have to, you eat it because you want to. Until you can own your choices, you will never conquer your weight issues and food addiction. The way I see it, if someone is going to spout endless excuses, the excuses should at least make logical sense.

[leighroda]

I know she (chay) doesn't live in Houston, but nowadays you can even have *gasp* healthy food delivered. One of my favorite conveniences is uberEats... today for dinner after a short 10 hour shift where everything that could go wrong did I came home and took a warm bath and ordered grilled chicken and vegetables from a local health food store from the bath tub... don't worry, I balanced that healthy dinner with an ice cream sandwich, but my point is I don't think I could have taken another half step, yet I managed to not have a cheeseburger for dinner.

[TurtlePower]

On 6/3/2017 at 9:09 PM, leighroda said:

I'm sorry but Chay can lose me with her "I'm so tired after work I can't eat healthy"... I was at work today, I worked 5am-7pm, with a 30 minute break at breakfast, a 30 minute break for lunch, and 10 minute snack/bathroom break around 4 (I'm a RN so 12-16 hour days are typical for me) and yes I get being exhausted at the end of the day and not feeling like cooking... I had a bowl of kix for dinner (with skim milk)... I get that maybe my specific dinner wouldn't be a great option for Chay, I don't know all of the diet restrictions, but as many have pointed out there are endless options better than cheeseburgers... pretty much any fast food I can think of has either a salad option or grilled option. I try not to get to involved when it comes to their meal options because lord knows I don't make good choices the majority of the time, and since I wear scrubs 75% of my time, it's really easy to gain weight without noticing a change in how my clothes fit until I go to put on my regular clothes. I survive by snacking, I usually only eat 1 "meal" a day which is what dr now says not to do... and I'm surrounded by bad choices that are easier than most healthy (ironically, hospital cafeterias are not so great about healthy options) but I make a conscious effort... I make little snack packs to grab with carrots or cherry tomatoes, nuts, cheese sticks... so I can grab those just as easy as a bag of chips and it's not hard at all to prepare, in fact you can even get those things already prepared at chays place of work!

sorry for the tangent, but it makes me crazy when they always start on the "I'm too tired" "I'm too busy" line of thinking for an excuse to eat crappy.

Has Chay never heard of meal prepping? Sure, part of one of my days off is spent doing this, but it's worth it when you come home and can pop a grilled chicken breast (or whatever you've prepped) on a plate, heat it up and there you go. I also keep plain instant oatmeal on hand at work. Works like a charm when you're short on time and hungry. 

[ClareWalks]

And if Chay is so tired and her feet hurt so much at the end of the day, I have pinpointed two reasons: 1) she weighs over 300 lb, and 2) she wears nothing but ballet flats. Seriously?! Woman, get yourself some athletic shoes and orthotics. Hell, I'm half her weight and septuple her athleticism and I need them desperately just to function. Once a person is no longer *literally* too fat to fit into any shoes, they need to get themselves some good, supportive shoes.

[legalwriter]

Shay (formerly Lola): I agree with others that Shay is a whiner. In Shay's defense, at least she has a job or two and is trying to support herself. Moving to a bigger city would do her a lot of good. Shay should also seek more counseling.

Laura: I feel bad for Laura. Her marriage is in trouble and she has a lot of loose skin. It shows that it is better to lose the weight over a longer period of time. I lost over 200 pounds over 2 years through diet and exercise but I have only minimal loose skin because I have exercised really hard and I dropped the weight over a longer period of time.

[ClareWalks]

1 hour ago, legalwriter said:

Laura: I feel bad for Laura. Her marriage is in trouble and she has a lot of loose skin. It shows that it is better to lose the weight over a longer period of time. I lost over 200 pounds over 2 years through diet and exercise but I have only minimal loose skin because I have exercised really hard and I dropped the weight over a longer period of time.

I am not sure how old you are, but Laura is in her 40s (I think?) and the older we get, the less our skin "bounces back" (especially if someone is more than 400 lb overweight like she was). I think some of it might be genetic, too. My husband lost about 130 lb in his mid-20s but still has a little bit of loose skin around his abdomen (not a lot, but it didn't completely snap back).

[xwordfanatik]

3 hours ago, ClareWalks said:

I am not sure how old you are, but Laura is in her 40s (I think?) and the older we get, the less our skin "bounces back" (especially if someone is more than 400 lb overweight like she was). I think some of it might be genetic, too. My husband lost about 130 lb in his mid-20s but still has a little bit of loose skin around his abdomen (not a lot, but it didn't completely snap back).

It's true.  I lost close to 100 lbs in my late 50's and I do have loose skin, but I have increased mobility and look much better in clothes.

To me, the trade-off is worth it.  I'm past the bikini wearing age anyway :)

It took about a year for me to lose the weight the old-fashioned way.  Eat less, move more.  I'm thankful I didn't have to have surgery.

[auntjess]

6 hours ago, legalwriter said:

Laura: I feel bad for Laura. Her marriage is in trouble and she has a lot of loose skin. It shows that it is better to lose the weight over a longer period of time.

I don't think loosing weight over a longer period would work for most of these people though, because "doing it in my own time" almost always spells disaster for them.
Congratulations to you, but I don't many of these people have the discipline to just cut back.

[junip]

Chay is the type of Now patient who the weight loss surgery gives a better life to, but the patient doesn't seem to have the gumption to see it through to the final goal. In Chay's case, there is significant depression and self-esteem issues to deal with before the weight loss can happen. If Chay--and with these type of people that's a huge if--could maintain 350-375 pounds, I think she would be considered an overall "success" relative to life at 650-675.

Edited June 7, 2017 by junip

[Lunula]

I'm just at a loss regarding Chay. I've battled pretty horrible depression for a long time and I understand those times when you truly just do not care. Things feel hopeless and you don't have the energy to do a damn thing. I get it. I remember how it was to be in my 20s, with no clear direction and suffering from depression. But...C'MON. The endless whining about having no LGBT community in her hometown just infuriated me because there is a very easy solution: MOVE. 

Honestly, I dunno where in Louisiana she lives, but is New Orleans that far away? You live with your relatives - can you not save enough money to get the hell out of there and move to a place more open & accepting? Either do something about your current life to fix it or move somewhere else and try to work it out, just stop the complaining. You're not in prison. You have a job and are able to work. Get out. Jeez!

And I thought Laura was doing really well for herself but she needs to dump the POS husband. How in the hell can someone claim to love you and not want you to be healthy & happy? I cannot comprehend. 

[auntjess]

5 minutes ago, Lunula said:

Honestly, I dunno where in Louisiana she lives, but is New Orleans that far away?

Just checked.  NO is 133 miles away, and Houston is 237.

[AirQuotes]

I just watched this episode last night and I don't know why they make stuff up!   There is a support group in Chay's area!  New Iberia is 30 miles south of Lafayette which has a monthly meeting.  Yes, New Iberia is small but it isn't that small.  It is also close to Baton Rouge and New Orleans.  New Orleans is a very accepting city.

This group holds meetings all over the state once per month.  http://www.latransadvocates.org/

Because they chose to lie about there not being trans support groups, I think the scene at the park was staged.   Why would someone being "bullied" sit on a bench near the bullies and just sit there and listen to that?

She constantly complains about not being able to walk very far, and I believe her.  She wears ballet flats to go exercising?!?  Of course you can't walk very far and your legs hurt!

Edited September 6, 2017 by AirQuotes

[Tenarife60]

On ‎9‎/‎6‎/‎2017 at 8:14 AM, AirQuotes said:

I just watched this episode last night and I don't know why they make stuff up!   There is a support group in Chay's area!  New Iberia is 30 miles south of Lafayette which has a monthly meeting.  Yes, New Iberia is small but it isn't that small.  It is also close to Baton Rouge and New Orleans.  New Orleans is a very accepting city.

This group holds meetings all over the state once per month.  http://www.latransadvocates.org/

Because they chose to lie about there not being trans support groups, I think the scene at the park was staged.   Why would someone being "bullied" sit on a bench near the bullies and just sit there and listen to that?

Yes, I do believe these shows are partly scripted because in Chay's last update she was performing in a gay bar in Lafayette, so she obviously knew other transgender people in the area.  Also there was a LGBT group started by a friend of mines cousin's parents in Lafayette.  He was the famous make-up artist, Kevyn Aucoin, and his parent had a support group in Lafayette.  His mother has since died and I think it is ran by someone else now. 

Regarding the park scene: I too believe that was staged, but when Chay went and sat down on the bench I don't think it was near the people that were laughing.  It was edited to look that way, but it appeared she had walked far from the crowd by that time.