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S05.E11: James K's Story


Message added by PrincessPurrsALot

James K. used pidgin English when describing Chinese food.  Such mocking behavior of a presumed accent is racist.  Please do not perpetuate his use of that language. 

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When I allow myself to think about the sheer Hell on Earth it must be for Lisa to be stuck in Houston with that abusive, waste of space, piece of crap James, I do have compassion for her situation. But then I feel so frustrated that she put herself into this mess and has the keys to her freedom in her hands, and that she dragged their daughter Bayley along as well (pronounced "Belly" by her).

Like Snarkasm said upthread, call APS, take me away in handcuffs, but I would have to leave his ass like yesterday, and take my daughter with me! Of course, I would've never spent two seconds in a relationship with this nasty loser in the first place.

But there she is, stuck with no marketable skills, financially dependent on his disability money, constantly bathing and feeding her giant man-baby "boyfriend" with no end in sight. Even Stephen King himself could not have written a horror story this terrifying. Came close though with Misery.

  • Love 7
56 minutes ago, auntjess said:

Didn't remember that they weren't married.  If they aren't, why could APS go after her?

Hi auntjess.

Nope, they're not married. Just my personal standards, but no way am I having two children by a man and maintain a household for twenty years without being married. Yeah, I know marriage isn't for everyone, and I can respect that, but I'm just old school like that.

My understanding, though please anyone correct me if I am wrong, is that Lisa would be seen as the caregiver for a disabled person and can't just walk away. This would be especially so if she is receiving public/government money to be his caregiver. However, it was never stated on the show that she was being paid to do this. Whether this is the case in Texas, I don't know. I would still get the Hell outta there.

  • Love 4

This sheds a little light on the paid caregiver.  Although since Lisa and James aren't married, it seems she'd have to be employed by a contracting agency.  Who would hire her?  Bayley, however, could receive a stipend through Medicaid or Texas.  It certainly isn't much money (doesn't say), but there's not enough money in the world that would make me want to unwrap one burger let along clean him.  Ugh.

https://www.cga.ct.gov/2003/rpt/2003-R-0040.htm

  • Love 4
3 hours ago, DC Gal in VA said:

When I allow myself to think about the sheer Hell on Earth it must be for Lisa to be stuck in Houston with that abusive, waste of space, piece of crap James, I do have compassion for her situation. But then I feel so frustrated that she put herself into this mess and has the keys to her freedom in her hands, and that she dragged their daughter Bayley along as well (pronounced "Belly" by her).

Like Snarkasm said upthread, call APS, take me away in handcuffs, but I would have to leave his ass like yesterday, and take my daughter with me! Of course, I would've never spent two seconds in a relationship with this nasty loser in the first place.

But there she is, stuck with no marketable skills, financially dependent on his disability money, constantly bathing and feeding her giant man-baby "boyfriend" with no end in sight. Even Stephen King himself could not have written a horror story this terrifying. Came close though with Misery.

I think as Otter said she is the classic battered woman who is so downtrodden by all the manipulation and abuse from that crying self-pitying waste of oxygen that she isn't capable of freeing herself never mind her daughter.  She went from one abusive relationship straight into another one and hasn't got the skills to find her way out.  Horror story is the only way to describe it.

  • Love 6
2 hours ago, Otter said:

This sheds a little light on the paid caregiver.  Although since Lisa and James aren't married, it seems she'd have to be employed by a contracting agency.  Who would hire her?  Bayley, however, could receive a stipend through Medicaid or Texas.  It certainly isn't much money (doesn't say), but there's not enough money in the world that would make me want to unwrap one burger let along clean him.  Ugh.

https://www.cga.ct.gov/2003/rpt/2003-R-0040.htm

Thanks Otter for the link. I read quite a lot of that document and, wow, what a crazy quilt of rules and regulations we have in this country for caregivers of adults. I noticed that they spoke of all kinds of familial relationships: spouses, siblings, adult children, etc., except for girlfriends/boyfriends. Seems that, after twenty years with big old hunka hunka burnin' love James, Lisa may not even be officially recognized as a caregiver by the State, which means she has absolutely no legal obligation to stay with, or care for, him! Of course, that fact would make no difference to her since she is a prisoner in her own mind only.

Kind of pathetic and ironic in a way that Lisa is likely just as invisible as a human being to the authorities as she is to James.

  • Love 1
On 5/29/2017 at 10:28 PM, Pretty5Vacant said:

I wonder if her silence on fb is because he isn't making progress and he is still treating her badly. I can picture him saying not to post alot because it makes HIM look bad

And of course she would do anything he told her to do.  I want her to get mad. REALLY mad and tell that fucker to Wipe his OWN ass.

  • Love 4

I'm at work and I'm doing boring stuff, so I'm listening to the James K episode.  I keep Laughing out loud and people probably think I'm nuts.  I keep picturing the splayed out baked chicken that someone posted...the friiiiiieeed rice, the egg roll, "but I waaaant it!"..."Oh my layyygs!"...the do-I-look-fat mattress..."In what world is 740 lbs a good weight"..."He didn't give us a follow up appointment"...all of it...just a hot flaming mess. 

*normally I root for these people and wish them the best, but with this one...I just can't!!!!!*

  • Love 8
On 6/6/2017 at 8:13 PM, aliya said:

Because I can't get enough of this episode...

So I'm watching it again (having paid for it on amazon) and had a question. Is James screaming about his legs because it hurts to squeeze them together (you'd think that squeezing fat wouldn't be that painful) or because the barnacles on his legs are getting rubbed as he goes thru the doorway?

I think it may be a couple of things. That skin condition does look very painful but also the way his "laygs" are spread apart, almost as someone else here said, like a doll baby's legs. That has got to put a great deal of strain on his hip joints.

 

I know I am a terrible person, but every time they show the opening of each episode where there's a brief glimpse of James and then the next thing you hear is "Ow, Mah Laygs!" I burst out laughing. Every. Single. Time.

 

I will now go and retrieve my well soaked gasoline drawers from my neighbor's swimming pool, LOL!

  • Love 7
2 hours ago, DC Gal in VA said:

I think it may be a couple of things. That skin condition does look very painful but also the way his "laygs" are spread apart, almost as someone else here said, like a doll baby's legs. That has got to put a great deal of strain on his hip joints.

 

I know I am a terrible person, but every time they show the opening of each episode where there's a brief glimpse of James and then the next thing you hear is "Ow, Mah Laygs!" I burst out laughing. Every. Single. Time.

 

I will now go and retrieve my well soaked gasoline drawers from my neighbor's swimming pool, LOL!

I still smirk when I see Chuck cry in the car.  And Chuck was a success.

  • Love 6

Where have you all been all my life? I feel like I have found my tribe! After I threw my shoe at the TV watching this Episode, my mother and I spent the rest of the day randomly calling out "Mah Laygs!" I have the utmost sympathy for people who deserve it and even those that don't. None for those who throw away world class help with both hands.

  • Love 4
9 hours ago, GasparsGirl said:

Where have you all been all my life? I feel like I have found my tribe! After I threw my shoe at the TV watching this Episode, my mother and I spent the rest of the day randomly calling out "Mah Laygs!" I have the utmost sympathy for people who deserve it and even those that don't. None for those who throw away world class help with both hands.

I too have great sympathy for most of the patients, but Ow Mah Laygs is definitely an exception.  He never really tried at all.  I am sure he "intends" to sit up again someday but "not right now".

  • Love 5
12 hours ago, Nancypants said:

I think the worst is making Leeesa sleep on the floor just in case he shits the bed. 

You know he's gonna shit it again and again.  With all that food going in all day long, it's gonna come out all day long, and James will produce a bonus: "Good morning Leesuh" load for when she wakes up.  Then he will say,  "Is brekfuss ready?" every five minutes until he gets his, 6 aegz, 6 bissketz, 6 sawsuhguz all covered in graaaavey, and that's only the first course.   As grandpa on Hee Haw would say, "Yum... Yum."  

  • Love 5

I just saw this episode for the first time yesterday and I just can't... making Lisa sleep on the floor was ridiculous... there being absolutely no remotely healthy delivery options... sure Jan. Even Chinese food had beef/chicken and broccoli... probably not the healthiest option, but better than friiiiied rice and 2 egg rolls.

i live in Houston and apparently they are still here, but no chance I'll run into them seeing as they don't leave the stink apt.

  • Love 6

And then how do you pile on so much food on your plate that you can't see 2 egg rolls??? How?!? He is all "Gimme one uh dem ehhhhhg rolls Leeeeeeesa" and she gave him two. When I have a plate of Chinese food, the egg rolls tend to be the part that take up the tallest part of the plate! Think about how much other food is involved!

 

And now that I've made this post I'm going to want to post again in half an hour.

  • Love 17
3 hours ago, GasparsGirl said:

And then how do you pile on so much food on your plate that you can't see 2 egg rolls??? How?!? He is all "Gimme one uh dem ehhhhhg rolls Leeeeeeesa" and she gave him two. When I have a plate of Chinese food, the egg rolls tend to be the part that take up the tallest part of the plate! Think about how much other food is involved!

 

And now that I've made this post I'm going to want to post again in half an hour.

Piles of friiiiiiiied rice. 

And I scared my twin toddlers laughing at your last sentence. That was gold. 

  • Love 4

I just want to lock this fat  bastard in a soundproof room that has a drainhole in the floor and get Nurse Ratchet to bring him Lean Cuisine twice a day and he gets the cold water hose Every time he shits himself. Throw in a shock collar that Zaps him Every time he whines or wants Nurse Ratchet to take the paper off his Lean Cuisine and meanwhile send Leeesa and Bailey on a 3 year cruise and maybe, just maybe, this situation would not be so upsetting.

  • Love 7
1 hour ago, Nancypants said:

I just want to lock this fat  bastard in a soundproof room that has a drainhole in the floor and get Nurse Ratchet to bring him Lean Cuisine twice a day and he gets the cold water hose Every time he shits himself. Throw in a shock collar that Zaps him Every time he whines or wants Nurse Ratchet to take the paper off his Lean Cuisine and meanwhile send Leeesa and Bailey on a 3 year cruise and maybe, just maybe, this situation would not be so upsetting.

Many is the time I have thought about "what would I do if I was the Nurse Ratchet in this situation"?

**************************

1.  Ship Leeeeesa off to one of those treatment facilities so she can begin to work on herself and her addiction to being abused, which is what I think might be going on with her.  Of course, this place is going to take her cell phone away (you'll see why in a minute).

2.  Hand Bailey a large stack of cash, a new cell phone, and a new identity and tell her to "run...just run!"

Then it would just be me and Sweat Baby James.

1.  Call every take-out restaurant within a 20-mile radius and tell them if they get a call from this phone number or to deliver to this address, they will not get paid for their services, so just don't come.

2.  Introduce myself to James.  Tell him that I am now in charge and he will be doing what I say.  (This is not to be cruel [not that I really care] but to establish with him that he is no longer in charge.)

3.  Anything he throws at me will be taken away from him.  I would imagine his cell phone and controller for his video games will be the first to go and I'm fine with that.

4.  He will eat what I hand him.  There will be no deviation from what I give him.  He can bitch and moan all he wants; either he eats what I give him or he goes hungry...it's that simple.

5.  He will be visited by therapists, both mental and physical.  He will participate fully and completely or he will suffer the consequences.

6.  Consequences will come in the form of food.  For every time he gets out of line, he will lose food portions.  I might cut up a chicken breast and start removing bites from his plate "this is for whining about xxx" and remove a bite of chicken and throw it away...in front of him.  (I know this seems particularly cruel and might not even be technically legal, but it's my daydream and he ain't the brightest crayon in the box, so he won't know how to deal with the legal part.  I figure if he's used food as a reward to himself all his life, this would make the consequences particularly harsh.)

7.  When he gets really out of line, I'll do something particularly cruel, like eat an entire bowl of pasta in front of him.

Am I missing something?

  • Love 7
30 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

Can there be a punishment for pooping in his bed?  

Well...that's something I'm thinking about...I like Nancypants' idea of hosing him down if he poops himself (My apologies to "Silence of the Lambs", but...He learns to poop like a gentleman or else he gets the hose again.)

That would be something...he'd have to tell me when he needs to poop so I can get a bedpan under him.  If not, he gets hosed down.  Full Stop.

Once he starts moving around, he'd have to take himself to the bathroom and use a toilet, like a real person.  That's not too much to ask.

  • Love 4
(edited)

The comments following the story about what the "physical therapist" said are spot on.  James and Lisa said they got almost no guidance on what to eat?  Poppycock.  And one doesn't have to be a genius to figure out that if you keep doing what you've been doing, you're going to keep getting what you've got.

The PT says James "looks" to him like he's lost weight.  I wonder if he got a new mattress that makes him look thinner.  Get Dr. Now in there.  He'll be able to tell in no time flat whether James has lost weight.

Edited by AZChristian
  • Love 3
(edited)

This "ah dunno what to eat" BS really cranks my last nerve. Ask. The doctor. (Yes, I know they've already been advised. But apparently they need lots and lots of repetition. Or something.)

And for those who just CANNOT eat actual healthy food, consider cutting your mammoth portions by, say, 20% for a week. Then do it again. Etc. Even this lame attempt  at changing your eating habit will help somewhat. Just please quit your ignorant bitching. Change or shut up. 

Edited by Tabbygirl521
  • Love 5

This guy is only successful in dealing with James if James has actually lost weight. Constantly repeating the same information over and over again to him isn't help. Repositioning his fat isn't help. I would argue that he may even be hurting James because James can then say "Look, I'm getting help! And this guy says I'm doing good! See!" when there is no progress being made. And how is a physical therapist addressing the total dysfunction of Bailey/Belly and Leeeeeeesa? 

  • Love 3

They all need a psychotherapist more than James needs a physical therapist. (And we all know how mattresses can make you look fatter or thinner!!!!)  In the end most weight loss comes down to food intake, and as Tabbygirl said even just cutting down portions would help!  Of course then he'd just whine and lash out until Leeeesa filled his plate up again.

  • Love 1
6 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

This "ah dunno what to eat" BS really cranks my last nerve. Ask. The doctor. (Yes, I know they've already been advised. But apparently they need lots and lots of repetition. Or something.)

And for those who just CANNOT eat actual healthy food, consider cutting your mammoth portions by, say, 20% for a week. Then do it again. Etc. Even this lame attempt  at changing your eating habit will help somewhat. Just please quit your ignorant bitching. Change or shut up. 

For him a slap upside the head is what comes to mind.

We know they had a food list, and we know that at least Lisa was trying to follow it.  Remember when James wanted Chinese food, and she said, "But it has rice" (inferring he wasn't supposed to eat rice - probably because it's on the "carb' list).

And what was his reaction?  All together now, "But it's F-R-I-I-I-I-E-D" (like that made it okay).

You can't fix stupid.

  • Love 10
Message added by PrincessPurrsALot

James K. used pidgin English when describing Chinese food.  Such mocking behavior of a presumed accent is racist.  Please do not perpetuate his use of that language. 

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