All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[Guest]

The case before that was sad. The mother said she wouldn't forgive her daughter for not paying her the rent that she was using to qualify for rent. The girl and her fiance seemed...marginal

"Sad" is the appropriate word there. But I applaud the young man, despite his challenges, who came across as decent, well-mannered, and kind. I've a feeling he wound up involved with the wrong girl who seemed all sorts of lazy ("I never thought about doing anything after high school") and her mother, who aside from being a nasty sponger working the system, seemed petty and vindictive towards her former money maker, aka her daughter.

Are there ever going to be any new episodes?!

[NowVoyager]

I couldn't believe the defendant in the hallterview complaining that "A friend wouldn't sue you." Screw you, a friend wouldn't steal from a friend.

It recalled to my mind the documentary "Paris is burning" where a young man so charmingly & humorously explained theft, I was sold. Of course, these are different circumstances---the documentary featured homeless young people disowned by their families vs. college students & someone with enough credit to charge fancy shirts.

[Puffaroo]

I have a question, and I'll preface this by saying I'm not trying to offend anybody, but...does it seem like sometimes women resent it when they're stuck in the "provider" role? I've seen a lot of women like the mother in this case. She was with her boyfriend (not the girl's father) and the girl was diagnosed with ADD (which: ok) and she was receiving a check. The mother seemed to feel entitled to the girl's SS check, and seemed resentful over the fact that she didn't get it.

 

I wouldn't limit that to women.  Entitlement crosses all gender lines.

[announcergirl]

That story (mom using daughter's ss checks) was a good one because JJ got in her ass about using her daughter and what parents are SUPPOSED to do for their kids. The mom still didn't see it. She had the nerve to name shelter, food and clothes as why she was taking her money while she was a minor. Wow. Just wow. The mom has that new bf and I guess she figured she'd be able to ride the daughter for more. The "special" boyfriend of the daughter was smarter than they realized. Loved it!

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

I have a question, and I'll preface this by saying I'm not trying to offend anybody, but...does it seem like sometimes women resent it when they're stuck in the "provider" role?

Whenever I see cases like those, I automatically think of Dr. Phil **dodges flying objects** where he says "so what are you getting out of this? What's your payoff?" Because lots of these folks (mostly women) on JJ are getting something out of it. . . they get to feel morally superior, they get to be "the caretaker" ("oh, you are so patient, so long suffering") and let's face it, particularly in the case of women trying to fix men by paying their bail, child support, car payments, etc - they love a project. And when the "project" doesn't cooperate, the women get pissed and resentful. I got the impression that ADD girl's mother was feeling so superior (and I suspect there's something much more wrong with ADD girl than ADD - she reminds me of a family member of one of my acquaintances who is disabled due to mental illness caused by earlier abuse as a very young child). I noticed Superior Mama's rage behind her bright blue eyes as JJ laid the smackdown on her. 

 

Kitty Breeder was such a liar. My vet has the same form in his computer and I get it whenever my dog has been seen. Looked like she just whited out parts from another visit and filled in the cat's name. 

[BubblingKettle]

If this episode was a rerun, I had never seen it.  My second episode is a rerun.

 

"Nice try" - flatly said by Byrd to the  "I have something to say" child.

Why did the defendant think that her cutesy child-like routine would work on JJ? And the plaintiff spoke to JJ as if JJ was in pre-K. Both sides with the smiling and giggles. Uhhh, not cute x 2.

The plaintiff said of the kitten, "He was a scapegoat - he always ran off."

Byrd could have said to all of those litigants, "Nice try."

 

Purim Party - Queen Khwaniqua of the Courtoom Purim Party was all "bye, Felicia" when JJ commented on her inappropriate attire. Then, she proceeded to blazhay blazhay. The plaintiff's boyfriend looked really dejected in the hallterview when he explained that the defendant is "the typical ghetto person." Poor guy needed some ice cream or something; he looked really glum.

 

I am easily entertained, so I never trust myself to give gavel-ratings. However, I will confidently give the second case 3.5 gavels.

[AngelaHunter]

QuoteQuote

Purim Party - Queen Khwaniqua

 

I had forgotten all about the Queen of Sheba! Sadly, her King, Devonte (whose ass in now in the slammer) pepper sprayed her face when she, in a most un-royal manner, wanted to fistfight him cuz hey - don't we all want to fistfight our baby daddies in the street? -  and then when her vision cleared, brought back "three dudes" to sort out the King. Devonte's wise refusal to emerge from the shelter of the house brought on a car window smashing frenzy by the Queen.  I love how she seemed to be so proud of herself. The talon-like fake nails were a nice touch too.

 

I'm sure both of them are wonderful parents, or will be once Devonte gets sprung from the Big House.

 

JJ adored Ms. Deirdre and gave short shrift to those irritating boys suing her for $400 sneakers and a "Michael Coors watch."  Get lost, you ungrateful little shit.

Edited March 25, 2015 by AngelaHunter

[Brattinella]

Yeah, but she still got to keep the cat. *GRUMBLE*

[Zahdii]

God, just saw the two grown women who both talked like they were tiny little girls.  I wanted to slap the s--- out of them.  Grow up!

 

Then the woman in the next case who wore some kind of Cleopatra themed costume...  Wow.  What an attitude she had!  I always wonder how someone like that makes it through life.

[basiltherat]

That was Queen Esther!  I remember her from the first run.  Were those three dudes her "customers"?

[AngelaHunter]

Yeah, but she still got to keep the cat. *GRUMBLE*

 

I just skimmed through that. I just could not listen to the dumb, giggling fool of a defendant - who must think it's the 1950s when dumb "Oh I don't worry my pretty little head about that!" bitches were in style - and who is WAY too stupid to have either a cat, never mind a baby. Seriously, how does someone that brainless survive? Well, in this case she probably has her mommy making sure she gets dressed before leaving the house, since she had to bring her to court with her.  I wanted to punch her even more than I did smirking Auntie Terresa.

[BubblingKettle]

That was Queen Esther!  I remember her from the first run.  Were those three dudes her "customers"?

Those dudes carry her around on a lectica, like the Queen she believes she is.

 

I just skimmed through that. I just could not listen to the dumb, giggling fool of a defendant - who must think it's the 1950s when dumb "Oh I don't worry my pretty little head about that!" bitches were in style - and who is WAY too stupid to have either a cat, never mind a baby. 

I bet she's as dumb as a fox in some areas of her life, such as prepping and drilling her child to make uninvited commentaries in the courtroom.  I bet she's a real gem to her child's teachers.  God forbid they ask the child to stop being a precocious sassymouth -- the kid probably returns on the next morning with a biting monologue full of accusations.

[27bored]

First case where Rae Sremmurd sued nice older lady with no criminal record. I wondered what they were doing before they started getting royalty checks for "No Flex" and "No Type" and apparently it was squatting in some lady's house. She wasn't obligated to hold on to the guy's stuff, but...I don't like the idea of giving someone's clothes away like that. That's bullshit, kinda sorta.

 

And shit damn motherfucker! Don't tell me I fell asleep and missed Kwahniqua. I'm STILL convinced that was one of you trolling me. There really is no other alternative why this chick had on Persian couture from 465 BC. I don't understand it and honestly I didn't know Dots sold that shit. But I don't know if that damn headdress was made of gold or if she works at Cash 4 Gold y'all I DON'T KNOW. Shit.

 

I need a cigarette.

 

Oh, and I had to mute the case with the stray cat and the family taking it in and all that. Lil Tammy Talk-a-lot was just doing what her trifling ass mom told her do.

Edited March 26, 2015 by 27bored

[NowVoyager]

And shit damn motherfucker! Don't tell me I fell asleep and missed Kwahniqua. I'm STILL convinced that was one of you trolling me. There really is no other alternative why this chick had on Persian couture from 465 BC. I don't understand it and honestly I didn't know Dots sold that shit. But I don't know if that damn headdress was made of gold or if she works at Cash 4 Gold y'all I DON'T KNOW. Shit.

I need a cigarette.

It was indeed a sight to behold: everything from the eleganza of her hair jewelry, to the Nene Leakes Collection cold-shoulder top, to the brightly patterned leggings putting her figure on full display....It's not so much that she was inappropriately dressed for court, it's that she was dressed to go to a nightclub immediately after. Hey, her babydaddy is in jail...I guess she's on the hunt for a new beau to fight with. Edited March 26, 2015 by NowVoyager

[AngelaHunter]

to the brightly patterned leggings putting her figure on full display

 

Her figure? That ass was peeking out on either side of the podium.  But yeah, it really must be nice to look and dress like that, admire yourself in a mirror before leaving home and think, "Damn. You're looking fine!" We should all have such unshakable confidence.  It's  a wonderful thing.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

Purim Party - Queen Khwaniqua of the Courtroom Purim Party was all "bye, Felicia" when JJ commented on her inappropriate attire.

Oh no you did'unt!!!  You "bye Felicia'd" her!!! (for some reason that phrase cracks me up and I try to use it as much as possible, even inappropriately!) I certainly have no right to pick on large women (hello pot, meet my large kettle ass) but perhaps Queenie was looking in one of those really skinny mirrors that hang on the back of the door and, well, if you don't back up far enough, your side bags are cut off and hell, you look really skinny!!!

 

Apparently reality TV these days is the updated version of  Schwab's Drug Store (I'm referring to all the hopeful actors that believed Lana Turner or some old movie starlet was "discovered' at the soda fountain at Schwab's Drug Store in L.A. - yes I watch a lot of Turner Classic Movies, lol). These delusional folks see people like Sweet Brown or Chris Crocker and figure if they put on every single thing they got for Xmas and SPARKLE BABY they will be "discovered" and get on Real Housewives or Hillbilly Handfishin' or Party Down South or Teena and T.I. (or whatever - there are a whole collection of hip-hop people on VH1 that I can't keep up with). 

[Milz]

Here's the episode for those who missed HRH Queen Esther or who want to be regaled with her again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2ZkRM5u6ks

[6 MeowMeowBeenz]

aagh. I STILL resent that the annoying smirking blond got the kitten. And I'm sure she figured it was due to her own perspicacity. 

[Brattinella]

Okay, what is "Bye, Felicia"?  Is it the hand gesture she gave to JJ?

[BubblingKettle]

The movie Friday (from the early 90's, starring Ice Cube and Chris Tucker) had a character named Felicia.  She was a total crackhead, and she always bugged people for things - money, the car, etc.  If she was finished with the conversation or not, she'd be told, "Bye, Felicia."  Why has it gained popularity so many years after the movie?  I don't think anyone knows!  Here is the clip from the movie (NSFW):

 

Edited March 26, 2015 by CoolWhipLite

[Zahdii]

"Don't Lie to the Judge!; Hysterically Bad Driver?; Escorted Out By Police!"  Repeat, 12/19/2014

 

A man can't keep his story straight when he is asked about impound fees and vehicle damages; a woman accuses her friend of damaging her car while learning to drive; a woman sues her ex-boyfriend for unpaid rent and breaking a lease.

 

Googly Eyes alert!  Today's show, sitting behind the defendant, James Parker Jr, as he pathetically tried to convince the judge that wrecking his friends car while practicing for his drivers test is something his friend should pay for, not him.  Googly Eyes is sitting to the left and doing her usual eye roaming, with occasional looks directly into the camera.

[Catlyn]

No one mentions the annoying plaintiff's blonde friend in the weiner-dog/comfort dog suit?  She didn't say anything, but was laughing her head off during the hearing. I'm surprised JJ didn't say anything to her, it was really irritating.

[Milz]

No one mentions the annoying plaintiff's blonde friend in the weiner-dog/comfort dog suit?  She didn't say anything, but was laughing her head off during the hearing. I'm surprised JJ didn't say anything to her, it was really irritating.

 

That was irritating.

 

Sometimes, I think JJ allows that mockery in order to make the litigant realize the stupidity of their defense/actions. But it's kind of wasted on them because they are too stupid to realize the extent of their stupidity.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

The movie Friday (from the early 90's, starring Ice Cube and Chris Tucker) had a character named Felicia.  She was a total crackhead, and she always bugged people for things - money, the car, etc.  If she was finished with the conversation or not, she'd be told, "Bye, Felicia."  Why has it gained popularity so many years after the movie?  I don't think anyone knows!

From www.urbandictionary.com

 

"When someone says that they're leaving and you could really give two shits less that they are. Their name then becomes "felicia", a random bitch that nobody is sad to see go. They're real name becomes irrelevant because nobody cares what it really is. Instead, they now are "felicia".

"hey guys i'm gonna go"

"bye felicia"

"who is felicia?"

"exactly bitch. buh bye."

 

They also used it prominently in "Empire" this season. 

[NowVoyager]

Are there ever going to be any new episodes?!

Looks like there's a new episode today. Finally!

[NowVoyager]

The movie Friday (from the early 90's, starring Ice Cube and Chris Tucker) had a character named Felicia. She was a total crackhead, and she always bugged people for things - money, the car, etc. If she was finished with the conversation or not, she'd be told, "Bye, Felicia." Why has it gained popularity so many years after the movie? I don't think anyone knows! Here is the clip from the movie (NSFW):

Ohhhhh......OHHHHHH!!!!!! I tell ya, ya learn something new everyday.

[Rick Kitchen]

Ugh, a horrible guy in a rerun today.  This guy owes over $27,000 in back child support, and his teen aged daughter has an opportunity to go to Japan, but she needs a lot of money.  So the mother asked the ex husband to help with the Japan trip.  And he says, "I'll help you if you drop the back child support claim against me."  So she does, and then he won't give her the money.

[AngelaHunter]

Quote

Ugh, a horrible guy in a rerun today.

 

It seems I'm not getting the same episodes some of you are. No matter. Today I got a bunch of carny folk and "online students" for whom English is a serious challenge and who earn 7$ an hour but have 400$ phones, something I have not as yet acquired. They must be working in the sideshow, and does the very young Ms.Custer, who lived in a tent in someone's backyard, have no upper teeth? This episode made me burst into song - "Almost heaven, West Virginia....". Sorry, John.

 

The rent vs. own horse case was not all that compelling, except for the fact that it had JJ going off on a Sofia-from-the-Golden-Girls like story - "Picture it. The concourse, 1949..."

[NowVoyager]

Ugh, a horrible guy in a rerun today. This guy owes over $27,000 in back child support, and his teen aged daughter has an opportunity to go to Japan, but she needs a lot of money. So the mother asked the ex husband to help with the Japan trip. And he says, "I'll help you if you drop the back child support claim against me." So she does, and then he won't give her the money.

He made a point to say the plaintiff was his long-term girlfriend, not wife. Bleechh! The babydaddy looked fresh outta lockdown. She was only asking him for $4000 towards his daughter's trip, as she figured she'd never get the back child support anyway. JJ cracked on him about how his drivers license was taken away due to the arrears, but she knew good & darn well he was still driving as he lived in the state of Nevada. I thought the young adult daughter was really pretty & I felt bad for her that she had such a loser for a father.

There was a satisfying quickie at the end of that episode. Some chick borrowed money from her friend & decided not to pay it back because her friend was "rolling in dough." She wasn't. She had 2 kids, a husband & worked full time. The defendant had no job & as JJ said, "a gaggle" of kids---5, all young. That lady was so jealous of her friend! When did "she drives a BMV!" become a defense?! She tripped herself up by saying "she loaned me" & there was a quick gavel-judgement-for-the-plantiff-in-the-amount-of. So quick. So satisfying.

Edited March 27, 2015 by NowVoyager

[BubblingKettle]

The reruns today have been an ongoing PSA for the following messages:

Danger Stranger

Don't Covet Your Neighbor's BMW (after you've decided to have "a gaggle of children")

Low Cognition + Sex Offender + Procreation = You've Made a Foster Kid.

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Awareness

Don't Do Drugs

Carny Awareness (which may be the same as Danger Stranger, FAS Awareness, and Don't Do Drugs)

 

Every day, I work while the TV is on in the background because I can't work in the quiet. (I work from home.) I like to consider myself to be a pro at multi-tasking...but these wretched reruns are driving me to distraction! I really hope we get new episodes next week.

[AngelaHunter]

That lady was so jealous of her friend! When did "she drives a BMV!" become a defense?!

 

There are so many people, and we see them all the time here - who, in their entitled pinheads,  think that because someone has more than they do that they are owed some of it.

 

I'm going to use that argument next month when my bank demands my mortgage payment. After all, they have a lot more money than I do, so they should make me a gift.

[NowVoyager]

It seems I'm not getting the same episodes some of you are. No matter. Today I got a bunch of carny folk and "online students" for whom English is a serious challenge and who earn 7$ an hour but have 400$ phones, something I have not as yet acquired. They must be working in the sideshow, and does the very young Ms.Custer, who lived in a tent in someone's backyard, have no upper teeth? This episode made me burst into song - "Almost heaven, West Virginia....". Sorry, John.

The rent vs. own horse case was not all that compelling, except for the fact that it had JJ going off on a Sofia-from-the-Golden-Girls like story - "Picture it. The concourse, 1949..."

I get 3 episodes a day on weekdays. Today, I got the carny one, the $27,000 babydaddy one & the horse one.

I agree the horse case was *snoozers. Except: WHERE is this co-op located?!? Anybody?! How are these people able to board & ride horses for so cheap?! Jealous!

[NowVoyager]

I find myself wondering when watching the expensive phone cases if they pay that much or get those upgrade for a penny deals?

The carny folks were struggling to pay $250 a month in rent (for two!) So, there's no way they bought a $400 phone. I think you totally called it; it's some kinda upgrade deal.

The carny folks case was a repeat. Something bothered me the first time I saw it & again now. The lady that was sleeping in a tent & wore dark glasses----so, she was supposed to share a room with a guy she didn't know?! Sounds like a weird sex-for-rent situation to me....

[AngelaHunter]

Quote

Sounds like a weird sex-for-rent situation to me....

 

I guess when you're living in a tent, any place that has running water looks like paradise, even if putting out is a requirement. And what about her 19 year old cousin, the "nurse?"  Yeah right. Bunch of 100%, purenteed mutants. 

 

"The horse was mineS!" That always bugs me. There is no "s" on the end of "mine", unless it's describing shafts in the ground where miners go to dig for various substances.

 

Quote

I can't explain it but this cheered me up.

 

I really enjoyed JJ's little trip down Memory Lane too!  I bet she'd be a lot of fun at a cocktail party and at least we know she wouldn't get hammered and go trash someone's car.

Edited March 28, 2015 by AngelaHunter

[AngelaHunter]

And with the new makeover and her awkward blinking, she strangely reminds me of a dark headed Ellen Degeneres.

 

You're right! I was wondering who s(h)e reminded me of. Let's just hope she never decides she wants to "dance."  *shudder*

[wallysmommy]

This is a message to the JJ support staff who find litigants -- I want the case of the woman who stole the phone and took a bunch of selfies that showed up on the phone's owner's FB page.  I'd love to hear that defense in JJ Land.

[Jamoche]

This is a message to the JJ support staff who find litigants -- I want the case of the woman who stole the phone and took a bunch of selfies that showed up on the phone's owner's FB page.  I'd love to hear that defense in JJ Land.

That sort of thing happens all the time. You'll like this one's classic JJ excuse - she claims she didn't steal it, it just magically appeared in her shopping cart so she kept it.

[AngelaHunter]

she claims she didn't steal it, it just magically appeared in her shopping cart so she kept it.

 

The progressive and utter stupidity we witness on a daily basis, both on this show and in the news,  makes me want to weep.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

Today I got a bunch of carny folk and "online students" for whom English is a serious challenge and who earn 7$ an hour but have 400$ phones, something I have not as yet acquired.

I'm on the same circuit as you are. . . I got the same carny folk who skeeved me out just as much this time as the first time I saw them - shades of American Horror Story Carnival going on. 

[6 MeowMeowBeenz]

We got a rerun Saturday of middle school daughter who fought with classmates because "drama". She talked like she wanted to be a Mexican gang banger, and looked like a good shampooing and combing would benefit her hair.

 

JJ told dad she was/is trouble and I have to agree. The case was filmed in 2011. Oh how I wish they would do a "where are they now" on this kid. I would bet money on juvie and/or pregnant.

[Milz]

We got a rerun Saturday of middle school daughter who fought with classmates because "drama". She talked like she wanted to be a Mexican gang banger, and looked like a good shampooing and combing would benefit her hair.

 

JJ told dad she was/is trouble and I have to agree. The case was filmed in 2011. Oh how I wish they would do a "where are they now" on this kid. I would bet money on juvie and/or pregnant.

 

i remember Drama Princess. JJ's questioning went sort of like this:

 

JJ: What happened? Go!

 

DP: Me and her had some drama going on. And I didn't like the drama. So I told her I didn't like the drama. And we got into more drama because of the drama.

[califred]

Father of the year yesterday borrowing DWI fine and back child support from his 19 yr old son. Oh and admitting he'd been driving with no license since 2001.

And the man who sells "old" appliances that were pretty high end and weren't his because he needed money.

[teebax]

Father of the year yesterday borrowing DWI fine and back child support from his 19 yr old son. Oh and admitting he'd been driving with no license since 2001.

And the man who sells "old" appliances that were pretty high end and weren't his because he needed money.

They both needed a knock upside the head. I disagree with JJ's statement that parents don't take money from their kids, although it applies in this particular case. I, and several friends of mine, are at least partially supporting elderly parents. That's just what we do as they age. They take care of us when we're young, and we return the favor as they age. But that father wasn't some elderly parent with a bunch of health issues. There was no reason for him to take money from his kid.

 

The guy who stole the high-end appliances really looked like a fool. I was surprised he stuck around for the hallterview.

[Taffy]

"The guy who stole the high-end appliances really looked like a fool. I was surprised he stuck around for the halter view"

But he had to proclaim his undying love for the plaintiff so he could win her back. That was hilarious and the only reason I watched this rerun.

[califred]

I help my mom out quite a bit but I'm substantially older than 19, and she's not asking for child support arrearages and DWI fees from me. That man was a wanker.

Why on earth to that woman let a man who is trying to win her back for years live in her house? That was dumb on her part.

[AngelaHunter]

The guy who stole the high-end appliances really looked like a fool.

 

Loser with a capital "L". You have to wonder what she ever saw in him that made her actually want to marry him. Low-down thief, liar and twit whose only option after his wife dumps him is to go live with the parents, at his age! Oh, but see, he was remodeling the house and peddling those appliances made sense since I'm sure he was going to replace them with more high-end and brand new stuff.

 

Scumbag guy who took money from his son to pay HIS drunk driving fines and child support: Maybe he doesn't drink so much anymore but I could swear he was having an attack of the DTs right in front of our eyes.

[BubblingKettle]

Oh, but see, he was remodeling the house and peddling those appliances made sense since I'm sure he was going to replace them with more high-end and brand new stuff.

Yes!  Watching this case for a second time, I was thinking that the ex-husband was even MORE of a fool for claiming a kitchen kitted out with the highest grade of home-chef appliances would have required an extreme makeover.  I guess he was scheduling the remodeling project after he completed "the real business at hand" of winning his ex-wife back.  What a moron.

 

And today, we had to tolerate the like broken like recliner like case again. 

[Brattinella]

That kid really didn't get it.  He truly thought an apology would be good enough. (like)

[AZChristian]

Well, after they like awared him that like he'd have to like pay for it, they like kept raising the amount.

 

(JJ is right . . . America is going down the toilet when it comes to communication.)

[AngelaHunter]

What about Mr. Conkle, fuzzy brained motor mouth who was literally incapable of understanding the simplest language? I'd never seen this one but I just love these people who want to sell their cars privately instead of to a dealer so they can get more money.

 

Mr. Conkle sold his car to a friend, who apparently cannot even turn the key without getting a ticket and racked up 26 of them and THEN his girlfriend totalled it, all while it was still in the idiotic Conkle's name. Now he has no car at all and is so dumb he thinks that even though he was paid all but $600 for his car, he should get back the entire sales price of 3K for it because of the damage. It was kind of cute how he kept waving his pictures around even after JJ nicely told him to shove it.

 

Got more money, eh, Conkle? How did that work out for you?