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All Episodes Talk: All Rise


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Mr. Garcia, Liar Grand Supreme, said he was screaming wildly to his mother on the phone about Constance---what a cheap excuse to roll out your stories about Constance.  He was obviously on the phone with his ex-wife, screaming at her for sleeping with other men.  Granted, Constance must be a weirdo for running a rooming house filled with misfit men...and for working in "entertainment" and being a self-proclaimed "sexy girl."  At any rate, I don't understand these rooming houses.  A bunch of oddballs shacked up together.  

 

Yes, what was Fatal Attraction Widow thinking?!  Husband, who "didn't like doctors" dropped dead, and she got right back on the horse with someone whose story was akin to a Nigerian scam (give me this money, and then it will unlock other money that I'll use to pay you back).  His witnesses looked like seedy characters.  And he needs to shave that stupid chin mohawk. She was desperate and needs to get her head straight...and she cut her hair off because she was mad that he was "chillin" with other girls, oh wait, no...it was because she, ummm, she didn't like her hair anymore.

Edited by CoolWhipLite
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So much crazy crammed into so little time.

 

Mistress Huge Honking Nose

 

Yes, the professional dominatrix, with her house filled with boys, including the slimy, T-Rex armed (sorry, can't remember who here first used that description but it rocks!) Mr. Garcia who thinks JJ is interested in his disgusting underwear, was kind of fun, actually. I guess men who pay to be humiliated and abused find the Haggish Huge Nose a big turn on as she wields the whip. People are fucking crazy!

 

So, if I'm a recent widow with a small child to support the first thing I would do is give Mr. Jackson a whole bunch of money one month after I met him! Just because he's so hot, right? As much as I hate the Hall Guy on TPC, he had the perfect description for someone like Jackson - "Lying sack of garbage."  I can only assume the widow totally lost her mind, and maybe her eyesight, after her husband's tragic and premature demise. Sadly, I don't think she's learned anything.  Look after your kid, you crazy bitch, and forget about bankrolling POS gigolos.

 

Dumb Car Deal - Some nice people, got mixed up in a boring, bad idea.

 

 

I always find it kind of fascinating how these people make stupid, convoluted trades and odd deals involving old beater cars. The defendant apparently wanted a 2000 Saturn that doesn't run as kind of an art installation in his yard. The $700 replacement car was "broken". Who'd have guessed?

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Call me crazy, but I felt there might have been the slightest whiff of truth in what both Mr. Garcia and the Fatal Attraction guy had to say in their respective cases. Now, I'm not saying they're fine upstanding citizens or anyone I'd want to be associated with, but they didn't come across as totally unsympathetic to me (probably because while I was catching whiffs of things, I detected some Eau de Batshit emanating off the women in their cases).

 

That hallterview in Mr. Garcia's case, which was comedy gold, led me to think he may not have been lying when he says he was sexually harassed and propositioned. Also, I realize it's better to always err on the side of caution, and I'm not arguing with the ultimate ruling, but even going by Dominatrix Landlord's version of events, it sounded like she overreacted/exaggerated a bit. She can tell he's pissed off about something, she sticks her nose in anyway, he yells at her to get out (I forget what the wording was, but I'm pretty sure whatever she said he yelled wasn't a concrete physical threat), and there just happens to be a knife nearby. Again, I'm not saying it was wrong for the protective order to be granted or for JJ to dismiss the plaintiff's claim that it was on false grounds, but I'm also not buying that Dominatrix Landlord legitimately feared the guy.

 

I'm torn whenever someone makes a claim that the opposing litigant caused them to be fired because of acting crazy at their places of employment. On the one hand, we all know people lie through their teeth all the time on this show, and I get that letters aren't admissible. On the other hand, if someone fires you, what are the odds that he/she is really going to show up to a legal proceeding to testify on your behalf? I thought Fatal Attraction guy did the best he could, bringing the letter and the two witnesses, but I also understand why JJ wouldn't read it/hear them. I'm also torn about the veracity of the "paid in full" letter (methinks the plaintiff protested just a tad too much, and she clearly had her own nutty issues going on), but since he spewed so much bullshit afterwards, I was okay with the final ruling. However, I think he might have had a better case (and possibly even won) if he stuck with the "it was a gift while we were together, and then she said it was a loan after we split up" defense. 

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That hallterview in Mr. Garcia's case, which was comedy gold, led me to think he may not have been lying when he says he was sexually harassed and propositioned

 

.Oh, I have no doubt that old skank paraded around in her Dom outfit and came unto him. But he's not a child and he took money from her. I don't know about anyone else, but if I were being propositioned or sexually harassed by someone who grossed me out, the last thing I would do is take a loan or gift from the harasser.  To the ex-Mrs. Garcia - you did the right thing unloading him.

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Mistress Huge Honking Nose - This is definitely four gavels on the basis of the fishnet stockings, leather bustier, and BDSM getup described in the hallterview. Is that the most absurd claim of sexiness ever?  I wonder what kind of arrangement was advertised on craigslist, rooming several young men, two to a bedroom, with a weekly rate.  Was her kitchen floor licked clean by slave boys?  Trouble started when cougar with a whip meddled with one of her sex slaves' divorce, first lending him $1000 from what must be the generous proceeds of her exciting trade, then siding with his wife in court after she saw a knife.  She likes to give pain, not receive it!

 

Dumb Car Deal - Some nice people, got mixed up in a boring, bad idea.  One gavel.

 

Fatal Attraction Widow - Now, that's a plan!  Your husband drops dead of a heart attack at the ripe old age of 28, you collect a measly 50K of insurance to help raise your 4 yr old, and what do you do?  Throw that money at the first charismatic gigolo that crosses your path, and when he won't marry you, go Fatal Attraction on him.  Too bad these people that claim to have been fired because of crazy work stalkers never bring their bosses to testify.  Three gavels.

 

Whose Vicious Dog-Eating Pitbull Is This, Anyway? - I love canine demons cases because their irresponsible, delusional owners are always entertainingly infuriating. The twist in this case was that the owner may or may not have re-homed the canine cannibal before it feasted on a terrier.  I'm glad JJ worried about that complicated timeline and the pink collar so I don't have to.  One gavel, and I love dog cases.

I just called my mother, who is house-sitting for me and told her that, while she's welcome to watch my JJ episodes on my DVR, if she deletes this four-gavel episode I will kill her. She wouldn't ever do it intentionally, but technology is a bit of a challenge for her. Once I explained to her what a four-gavel case was, she understood completely.

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Was her kitchen floor licked clean by slave boys?  Trouble started when cougar with a whip meddled with one of her sex slaves' divorce, first lending him $1000 from what must be the generous proceeds of her exciting trade, then siding with his wife in court after she saw a knife.  She likes to give pain, not receive it!

 

I must learn to stop skimming and read more carefully. I actually missed this! I'm starting to think ol' Ms S&M has the right idea.

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Mistress Huge Honking Nose - This is definitely four gavels on the basis of the fishnet stockings, leather bustier, and BDSM getup described in the hallterview. Is that the most absurd claim of sexiness ever?

Four gavels for the hallterview which was way more interesting than the case itself. Mistress of the Damned was giving me a Hatchet Face vibe with her crazy bustier and fishnets outfit (I don't know if that link is going to show up)

 

http://i50.tinypic.com/20q17hz.jpg

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I was trying to decide if  Mistress HHN was rockin' yon studly dude's Sunday-go-to-meetin' clothes.  Made me wonder if she showed up to court in her, um, working attire, and Beefy Boy Witness #2 said, "Wait! You can't go in there like that!  Here - wear my suit!"  Could just be me, though...

 

And teebax, rest assured that the halterview is worth the 4 gavels.  The case was a hot mess, and I kept waiting for the good part!  Toaster did not disappoint.

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It seems to me that JJ is relying more and more on intuition, likability and emotion rather than the law. She refuses to allow people to cite the law from their jurisdictions, dismisses cases without hearing from a litigant, and throws people out of the courtroom for trying to make a point. She's become a grumpy old lady.

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I was trying to decide if  Mistress HHN was rockin' yon studly dude's Sunday-go-to-meetin' clothes.  Made me wonder if she showed up to court in her, um, working attire, and Beefy Boy Witness #2 said, "Wait! You can't go in there like that!  Here - wear my suit!"  Could just be me, though...

I love this reason for her oversized clothes!!  

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It seems to me that JJ is relying more and more on intuition, likability and emotion rather than the law. She refuses to allow people to cite the law from their jurisdictions, dismisses cases without hearing from a litigant, and throws people out of the courtroom for trying to make a point. She's become a grumpy old lady.

Become? She's always been a grumpy old lady. I think that's how she got the job in the first place!

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She's always been a grumpy old lady.

 

That's what I love about her. I wouldn't bother watching if she were sweet, kind  and allowed everyone to just ramble on. She gives the kind of smackdowns that most of us can only administer in our dreams. She lets people talk when they are straightforward, coherent and honest, but those people are few and far between.

 

I don't believe that laws of litigants' local jurisdictions are binding on her, so I see no reason for her to listen to them.

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She refuses to allow people to cite the law from their jurisdictions,

She's technically acting as a mediator so she doesn't have to follow any specific law from their state. People agree to have their cases dropped and mediated by JJ, not adjudicated. As for the grumpy old lady part, did you ever see her on 60 Minutes a while back? She seemed way grumpier back in her Family Court days. Perhaps it's because she's getting tired of the litigants getting stupider and stupider. Who among us isn't tired of endless pitbulls with clueless owners chomping on teensy dogs, clueless women "in love" throwing all their eggs into the basket of some dude who just happens to be behind on his rent/ child support/bail or the endless foray of wacky/dangerous Craigslist roommates? 

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Once "sexpot" older landlady's creepy character started to show, I was sure that JJ would side with her ("birds of a feather" perhaps). It did not help the plaintiff that he came across as rather smarmy and that JJ was going more on impressions than on fact here. She seemed to forget that attractiveness is relative and not necessarily a factor anyway in people crossing the line into harrassment; plus, as the endless parade of odd couples (still together or divorced) on her show has demonstrated, even the dopiest and strangest looking people manage to attract mates who must find them at least minimally alluring. So I don't see it as quite as absurd as she did that the landlady would hit on that guy (and perhaps others).

 

Fatal Attraction lady was strange; she did give off vibes of being a stalker or somewhat deranged. No wonder she fell for that guy's scheme; strangely, he seemed like a monument of sanity compared to her.

 

Was there anyone pleasant on those episodes yesterday? In the boring dog bite case, the defendant could not keep her timeline straight and had no supporting evidence, squashing every germ of plausibility one could glimpse in her story, while the plaintiffs were smug and self-satisfied. As for the young lady who had no qualms stacking up tickets on a borrowed car and not paying them, the less said the better considering how she seemed incapable of understanding even the basic facts of the law relevant to the case. Perhaps only the mechanic and his wife seemed relatively normal and to have been caught up in a situation they did not deserve in any way.

Edited by Florinaldo
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JJ is arbitrating, not mediating.  She makes the decision, she doesn't help the parties come to an agreement.  And, yes, the parties have agreed to follow her rules.  In early days, I believe she did hear evidence on local law, and her awards were capped by the Small Claims Court limit in the jurisdiction in which the action was originally filed.  Now she says "My" limit is $5000.

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So I don't see it as quite as absurd as she did that the landlady would hit on that guy

 

She may not have found it absurd at all had he been forced to move out due to her hitting on him,  if he had not taken money from his harasser, and indulged in foul-mouthed rants with his "mom".

 

BTW, Constance Galloway seems to be in entertainment, is listed on IMDB and sued CBS. With her list of credits, I wonder why she needs a bunch of boys to live in her house. Maybe the label of "sex slaves" isn't far off!

 

http://www.leagle.com/decision/in%20caco%2020100826029

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She may not have found it absurd at all had he been forced to move out due to her hitting on him,  if he had not taken money from his harasser, and indulged in foul-mouthed rants with his "mom".

 

BTW, Constance Galloway seems to be in entertainment, is listed on IMDB and sued CBS. With her list of credits, I wonder why she needs a bunch of boys to live in her house. Maybe the label of "sex slaves" isn't far off!

 

http://www.leagle.com/decision/in%20caco%2020100826029

 

And she ends up on a CBS Entertainment show like JJ.

 

The revealing details in the halterview immediately brought Dr. Frank N. Futter singing "Sweet Transvestite" to mind.*shivers*

Edited by Milz
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Tears Collide - A generous two gavels because of the sack-of-lies teenage defendant's self-pity and holding back tears in the hallteriview.  A collision at an intersection - who burned through a red light?  Don't we all love a credible witness.  The wronged driver (plaintiff) might have been shouting and upset, but he did show compassion for the 17 yr old doofus-ette's hit and run by not calling police and trying to work things out. Once the shock wore out, she started to dodge responsibility.  As always.

 

All Hail The Magenta Cadillac - One gavel, two gavels if you're teebax.  I'm not sure what happened here, but after the car got hit by hail, the plaintiff took the insurance money and went shopping for a bargain... and threw in some shocking, matte magenta paint in the deal, probably cashing the difference - and, surprise!  The bargain painter did a shitty job.  Now she cries to JJ and all of us.  First world problem, which brings us to the next case...

 

Renting Mr Ed - ...another first world problem involving horse-obsessed women renting horses and riding horses and stroking horses and selling horses and making crappy horse contracts. best enjoyed figuring out how each litigant looks like a horse, too.  Boo hoo, all this suffering!  I weep for your "problems."  One horseshoe in the head.

 

Involuntary Sugar Daddy - Three gavels.  I am not sure that the older plaintiff was that rich to fancy himself a sugar daddy, since he had to borrow against his car to "borrow" some money to the Disney-Pocahontas-lookalike bar tending defendant who I am sure has a lineup of men lining up to pay her rent.  The idiocy of the plaintiff thinking that this amoral airhead would buy cars, yes cars!  To flip them for a profit... for real, boggles my mind.  Did he actually think she was going to do something "productive?"  So she took the money and, I don't know, bought crack?  She was trying to pass this exchange of money for a business investment, but we all know he was gambling she was going to give up some booty.  JJ humiliated her quite thoroughly, deer-in-headlights way.  The defendant was unrepentant painting herself as a "sugar baby" in the hallterview, but clearly Involuntary Sugar Daddy hadn't gotten the memo.  Delightful.

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Can't wait for the Aspartame Sugar Daddy. These cases always make me burst into the Patsy Gallant song:

 

Sugar daddy you are my one sweet thing
You keep me nice and warm in your big, strong arms
I love you
Oh, sugar daddy I got a craving for you
You are the only one livin' under the sun
And I love you

 

Ooops. Got carried away. Sorry.

 

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Recaps so amazing I'm not sure the actual cases can live up to this! Love the new horseshoe component. Good to know our Ace Recapper is flexible.

 

One of the repeats today had daughter suing father. Cases with children suing parents (and vice versa) always make me sad.  Bring on the wacky "entertainers,"  Sugar Babies, and horseshoes!

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In Tears Collide, I was taken aback by the fact that the 17-year-old looked like she was in her 30's.  Both she and her mother had unusually wide faces...they looked like those Giant Beanie Ballz.  Mr. Acosta was a good guy, for sure, and Don's emails to GBB, Jr. were very kind.  Too bad she was a big liar, and she had a mother who thought that her special snowflake could do no wrong (and she was a liar too).  I know that JJ accepted the excuse about driving off from the scene of the accident, but I, personally, think that smells fishy. 

 

Did that woman expect something great from the pink recoloring of the car?  She should have been happy to get some insurance money for the hail damage and stuck with black.

 

I think tomorrow's broken phone case looks like a good one!

 

The horse case people looked so horse-y, if you know what I mean.  The ones that ride them have a look, and the ones that do the other stuff have a certain look.  And the plaintiff's daughter looked dead bored through the whole thing.  I feel bad for the horse who got caught up in all of those issues. 

 

When Mr. Crosby said he hadn't had an intimate relationship with Pocahontas Bierman, I breathed a sigh of relief.  I wasn't in the mood to hear that grossness.  The $5,000?  Pocahontas "spent that on other things that camin' up."  Camin' up -- that's a new one, I think.  In the hallterview, she again slipped and used the word "loan."  She was a Hustla!

 

Sidebar: I'd love to know the story behind Byrd's huge turquoise ring.  there has to be a story behind that thing.

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The case with the sugar daddy and the hot chick was sad. She's attractive, but she was using that man and that was fucked up. She probably decided after she got left with a baby that she wouldn't give it up to any man before he buys her things. But heifers like her is why dudes enroll in Leykis 101 bullshit. She's up here talking about you shouldn't loan money with strings attached. Shiiiiiiit. Strings attached...like paying that man his money back after you told him about your bootleg ass car-flipping scheme? Girl bye.

 

The car with the bad paint job was...boring. I'm more interested to see the case tomorrow with the little girl who steals from her grandmother. From the looks of things, she stole Nana's Quick Weave because damn. Her hair was like the hair equivalent of a bootleg copy of BAPS or some shit. Just no. That shit is gonna derail her career for awhile.

 

 

 

When Mr. Crosby said he hadn't had an intimate relationship with Pocahontas Bierman, I breathed a sigh of relief.  I wasn't in the mood to hear that grossness.  The $5,000?  Pocahontas "spent that on other things that camin' up."  Camin' up -- that's a new one, I think.  In the hallterview, she again slipped and used the word "loan."  She was a Hustla!

 

This was very astute, Cool Whip. They were like a low-budget John Smith and Pocahontas, or like, Bubba Smith and Pocahontisha.

 

 

Sidebar: I'd love to know the story behind Byrd's huge turquoise ring.  there has to be a story behind that thing.

 

Maybe he won it playing Poker with Grace since she already told Will and his friends she cheats and has a problem with losing. I knew she'd find a way to get rid of that turquoise jewelry.

 

Also, Byrd...is kind of a bitch, isn't he? Seems like these past few years he's always mumbling under his breath, snatching papers and shit, looking like he has to fart but doesn't want to make noise, and various other sorts of ratchetity. Maybe Mrs. Byrd hasn't been putting out since she got menopause. Maybe's Petri's dish is a little empty, nahmsayin?

Edited by 27bored
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Sometimes I really abhor the stupidity we see day after day, but on the other hand , their stupidity is our entertainment, so carry on , you fools!

 

The Big Honking Nosed (tm ToasterStrudel) horsewoman:

 

"Someone said she saw...."

JJ: "You can't tell me what someone saw. That's hearsay."

BHNH: "Someone told me she observed..."

God!

 

Mr. Crosby, imitation sugar daddy and denizen of Minnesota: I came thisclose to feeling sorry for him, as he appeared to be mentally challenged and his English was beyond atrocious "I ain't got nuthin' yet."  But ultimately, he's just another ridiculous, pathetic old fool trying to buy some nubile young flesh. I would love it if there had been a hidden mike on Ms. Bierman and her friends as they yukked it up about said old fool, "borrowing" her 5K for her manis, pedis and hair.  I do feel some sneaking admiration for Ms. B, managing to be a super-high priced prostitute without actually having to rent her body out. 

 

The Moon-Faced Twins in the hit and run case just made me want to slap the stupid out of both of them.

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She gives the kind of smackdowns that most of us can only administer in our dreams.

This is what got me started on JJ, and keeps me here. (And all of y'all, of course!)  Just once I'd love the opportunity to let loose on some idiot in my life like she does. So I live vicariously.

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This is what got me started on JJ, and keeps me here.

 

Me too, but I've only been watching for about 5 years. I was in another room when the TV was on. I'm not one for any type of reality shows, but then my ears caught a serious beatdown someone was getting. I ran into the TV room  and I thought, "Wow, what's this? About time someone told off these deadbeats." Been hooked ever since.

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Maybe he won it playing Poker with Grace since she already told Will and his friends she cheats and has a problem with losing. I knew she'd find a way to get rid of that turquoise jewelry.

That's possible.

Maybe a Tribal Chief asked to borrow his crossword puzzle pencil.  Byrd first said no, but the Tribal Chief persisted.  Byrd explained that he would only unhand his precious pencil if the Tribal Chief offered him an item of equal value.  The Tribal Chief asked Byrd to state the value of the crossword puzzle pencil, and Byrd sneakily presented him with a fake Kelly Blue Book, Pencil Edition.  Byrd cracked it open and pointed to a very inflated amount.  The Tribal Chief fell for the chicanery and handed over his huge turquoise ring with a heavy heart as Byrd fought back a smirk while relinquishing the pencil and sliding the ring onto his finger.

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Just saw the horse episode and it turns out that I know that horse. I think I've seen the blonde woman around and I think I may have spoken to one of the two owners once when we thought the horse might be colicing.  Scout was very personable as I remember. 

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I am not sure that the older plaintiff was that rich to fancy himself a sugar daddy, since he had to borrow against his car to "borrow" some money to the Disney-Pocahontas-lookalike bar tending defendant who I am sure has a lineup of men lining up to pay her rent.

No-Poka-Me-Hontas was a bartender? Why do I get the feeling "bartender" is synonymous with "exotic-dancer-who-hangs-out-in-the-champagne-room"? And Sugah Bubba Daddy looked like he told his wife he was going to Home Depot to get some nails or random hardware shit and then sneaked off to be on Judge Judy. He had the shifty look of somebody who was just about to be caught. Her story about flipping cars was so stoopid (maybe her baby daddy was borrowing a friend's auction license to pick up a few cars to sell to unsuspecting teenagers on Craigslist - next week's cases most likely). 

 

Byrd is getting kinda ratchity - I have an old dog and when I try and get him to move off his spot on the sofa, he just gives me this "I-don't-give-a-damn" low moan/grunt (groan?). I imagine that's what the sound Byrd makes when he has to move from his designated crossword spot. Of course that was after the chicanery with the Tribal Chief and the golf pencil. . . . 

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Byrd is getting kinda ratchity - I have an old dog and when I try and get him to move off his spot on the sofa, he just gives me this "I-don't-give-a-damn" low moan/grunt (groan?). I imagine that's what the sound Byrd makes when he has to move from his designated crossword spot. Of course that was after the chicanery with the Tribal Chief and the golf pencil. . . . 

 

Seriously.  I watched some Judge Mathis, and his clerk just FLIES over to pick up documents!  Blew my mind.

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The Big Honking Nosed (tm ToasterStrudel) horsewoman:

 

"Someone said she saw...."

JJ: "You can't tell me what someone saw. That's hearsay."

BHNH: "Someone told me she observed..."

Ah. I see the problem here.  BHNH SHOULD have said:  "Someone told me she PROCEEDED to observe...."

Syntax, people!  Get with the program.  Sheesh.

 

And this:

 

Just saw the horse episode and it turns out that I know that horse.

Had me wondering which woman you  meant, until I made it through your entire post. 

 

Don't worry. I already have a permanent seat reserved on the Stagecoach to Hell.  Showing myself out...

Edited by SandyToes
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I was pretty intrigued by today's collision case- I know that intersection! I drive within 3 blocks of there at least a couple times a month. The restaurant parking lot that eye witness was having his cigarette was probably by Po's Dumpling and a Chipotle. And lying teenager probably wasn't trying a hit and run, but looking for a place to pull over. A very busy area, with full on street parking and few parking lots. But the rest of her story was pretty bogus.

 

The horse woman had a point. JJ is asking she knows about something to do with the horse and the answer is someone told her. But if the words someone told me come out of your mouth you get yelled at. Then yelled at to "Answer the question." I thought her response of "How do I answer you?" was valid. JJ doesn't have to consider the heresay, but allowing someone to explain that is where the info comes from is easier than yelling them down for answering her question.

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Dammit, Judy, do I have to come explain hearsay to you again???   The horse owner was absolutely allowed to tell you what she was told about the horse not being cared for properly.  She's not offering it for the truth - to prove that it was being mistreated - she's offering it as the foundation for her actions. That's not hearsay.

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Douglas, on TPC, actually pirhouettes over to the litigants and back. The picture of grace, he is.

 

I would watch that show if they didn't have Harvey and the Street Urchins on there.

Also, Byrd...is kind of a bitch, isn't he? Seems like these past few years he's always mumbling under his breath, snatching papers and shit, looking like he has to fart but doesn't want to make noise, and various other sorts of ratchetity. Maybe Mrs. Byrd hasn't been putting out since she got menopause. Maybe's Petri's dish is a little empty, nahmsayin?

 

He doesn't have much to do and, understandably, he's probably reluctant to let go of a certain amount of fame and the big paycheck that goes with it.

 

I had a job once where I didn't have enough to do, and it just about drove me crazy until I could find another one.  Plus he's likely just as tired of the neverending stupidity as we are.

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On a recent episode there was a close up when Byrd was handing off his pen to the defendant and explaining where to sign. Then I spotted it - his name emblazoned in capital letters on the barrel. Officer Byrd has personalized pens!

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The second case left me guessing at the end.  During the case, I was agreeing with Judge Judy - Tiffany Spalding was a dog-stealing dirtbag.  She broke into that girl's house and stole the dog.  She admitted to it, and I wonder what kind of charms she used during police questioning, because she said they let her go without any problems.  But then, at the very end, I wondered if the dog really was stolen the second time.  I thought it was really weird that the orange-haired girl was extremely overjoyed in the hallterview and said, "I am 100% delighted!!"  Huh?  If your beloved dog is gone, you miss it, and you don't even know if it's in the land of the living, that level of exuberance seemed odd.  She didn't say anything about missing her dog.  Then, Ms. Spalding came into the hall and said, "She's a liar and a drama queen.  I think she has the dog right now."  Hmm...maybe she does.

 

But maybe those two cases were put into one episode because today's theme was: Both Sides Are Lying.

Stolen dog case: the tubby plaintiff responds...

I'm a little late to the party, I know, but a friend forwarded me a link to these posts, and  I felt the need to respond. First, please remember that although this, like other cases, are real, there is a lot of editing done after filming - this is tv after all. It seems that a few of you have questions about the valididty of my claim and my on camera response following judgement.  This was a very complicated case and there were a greal deal of relevant pieces of information that were left out. To answer one person's question, no this was not a scam and the show actually came to ME. What was not revealed on the show was that because I admitted to the police that Tiffany was the original owner of the dog and because I had no bill of sale it was their determination that I had zero legal rights to the dog. While Tiffany admitted on camera that I was the actual owner of the dog, the reality is that she lied to the police after she took the dog for the first time, claiming that I was a dog sitter and not the actual owner. I filed a small claims case against her in Macon county, not for return of the dog, since legally I had no rights to the animal, but for reimbursement for all of the dog's expenses while in my case. My thinking was: if the dog was never mine, I am not responsible for her expenses. It was my belief that when faced with the obligation to pay me back for thousands of dollars of dog-related costs that TIffany would instead return the animal to me, a provision I included in my claim. The show came across the case and asked me to appear. Because at that point it was clear that Tiffany was not going to face any criminal charges relative to either of the dog thefts, I decided to appear on the show so that she could be held accountable for her actions. It was never about the money for me. More to the point, I was about 90% sure I knew who Tiffany had sold the dog to, so I knew the dog was in good hands, and since I had no legal leg to stand on, I chose to appear.  People: this is ENTERTAINMENT, and while my case was 100% valid, not all of the facts were presented. And to the viewer who felt the need to call me tubby: kudos to you. I'm not sure how relevant my weight was to the case, but you got your dig in, so good on you. I'm a supporter of the first ammendment, and you all have a right to say what's on your mind, but be clear: watching a ten minute edited case does not give you the pertinent information to pass ingorant judgements. Thanks.

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re: the Earl Scheib "i'll paint any car any color for $99" case--I have the very strong suspicion that body shop guy was a shade tree mechanic. A true body shop/paint shop has a lot of regulation to deal with--you don't want those paint fumes going into the air.

 

I didn't catch what state he was in, but I wish JJ would ask mechanics in states where they are licensed, to PROVE that they do have the credentials. 

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Cellphoneball - Four gavels' worth of red hot, JJ righteous anger over those worthless little punks Malika and Miracle, as well as their enabling mother.  These two lying sacks of juvenile delinquency stole from their handicapped grandma and tried to nab the plaintiff's cell phone and run away.  There's a JJ phone call!  Lasers shooting out of her eyes!  Shouting at the defendants!  The lowlife mother had the nerve to call the police on the plaintiff, who got roughed up in the process.  JJ was so disgusted that she didn't want to hear more and kicked them out of the courtroom like she just learned they had contracted the bubonic plague.

 

Bicycle Smash - Mr Strudel shouted out: "When a car hits a bicycle, it's always the car's fault! Watch where you're going!"  When he saw the surveillance video, he no longer endorsed his own statement.  This case was over in one minute, two gavels for the video.

 

$10 - A whole convoluted story over ten lousy bucks at a poker game, and the flimsiest excuse to burglar someone.  Thanks to modern technology, the defendant's intention to rob the plaintiff was immortalized.  One gavel in the patio door.

 

Bedsheets - Holy twinks!  Who would humiliate themselves on JJ suing over bedsheets (that were probably a gift) and assorted garage sale stuff, unless one was still pining for the defendant's love?  One gavel in the nuts.

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Malika and Miracle?  I'm there! Sounds like something I might name my two kittens.

 

I would watch that show if they didn't have Harvey and the Street Urchins on there.

 

And the no-neck Asshole in the Hall. I'm getting pretty tired of watching with one finger on FF and the other on Mute.

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Miracle's and Malika's wigs....bless their hearts and their stone-cold lying faces.  JJ forewarned her, "Miss Miracle, this is not going to be a miracle day for you."  Mr. Holman had such precise details and seemed to deliver them convincingly. Miracle claimed that her friend's name was also Miracle---I wonder if that was also a lie.  If so, it was not one of her more creative ones.  In her super-fast presentation of lies, Miracle referred to Mr. Holman as "PeeWee."  He really doesn't look like a PeeWee type of guy. A Friday treat: we got to go into JJ's office and see her on the phone.  While she was in the office on the phone, all of the litigants had  "Oh, shit" expressions on their faces.  I guess it was warranted for the Holman women, since the person who JJ phoned dimed them out so hard ---- THEY steal out of Gremmuh's purse and only visit on ocassional Sundays!

 

In the $10 case, I was sure that the defendant had been an extra in Captain Phillips.....but I was wrong, as it was revealed that he has never held a job.  But I learned a lot in this case.  I learned that WYA means "Where you at?"  I also learned that more than 50% of Minneapolis has dreadlocks, according to the stateside Somali pirate's witness.

Bedsheets - Holy twinks!  Who would humiliate themselves on JJ suing over bedsheets (that were probably a gift) and assorted garage sale stuff, unless one was still pining for the defendant's love?  One gavel in the nuts.

Yes, Toaster Strudel! I was trying to figure out what the mop-top/dead behind the eyes guy reminded me of....and Twink captures it. I was hoping that, in the hallterview, he'd give us a quick update on his son Bark Ruffalo and invite us to New York's hottest club, MmmmHmmm, owned by Baloney Danza. This place has everything: puppets practicing karate, Furkels (fat Urkels), the bathtub from the Viagra commercial, and music by DJ Baby Bok Choy.

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