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All Episodes Talk: All Rise


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Log Attack - I loved the teenager that was enjoying his mother getting a well-deserved dress down from JJ over her having gratuitous, trivial, nasty-mouthed arguments with her neighbor.  

I wonder how many viewers watched that and then fantasized about JJ dressing down one of their own relatives.  Or maybe that was just me....

 

The way the mother reacted to her son agreeing with JJ's characterisation of her, I fear for the poor lad's safety. Perhaps he got a good ass whuppin' when they got home, administered with the very same log used to break the car window.

Yes!  I'm glad that boy had a great time in the courtroom because he surely did not have any fun afterwards. The mother probably used logs, branches, kindling....all sorts of tree part on him.

 

Oh, and I was surprised JJ didn't throw some snark about the mother going to bed early with her boyfriend because "she didn't feel well."  Uh, I think it was more like she and boyfriend didn't want the neighborhood kids to disturb their groove.  But JJ went along with the illness story....maybe she decided that the snark was just too gross.

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But JJ went along with the illness story....maybe she decided that the snark was just too gross.

 

Yes, she let that pass with just a snide, "You weren't feeling well." I'm sure she felt as I did and that visualizing what was really going on between the plaintiff and what I'm sure was an equally gross lovah-boy was just too much to take.  And really, the thought of their uglies colliding with earthquake force while the 9 year old was outside alone is something no one should have to contemplate.

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Why is it so hard for neighbors to get along? Who in the world would want all that drama in their lives? Your home is your sanctuary from all the bullshit that comes with everyday life. I can't for the life of me figure out why we see so many cases that involve people who can't figure out how to live next to each other without all the drama.

The plaintiff in the log through the Jeep case was named Tammy. So, naturally, I could only think of that awful movie with (not awful at all) Melissa McCarthy. We had a real-life Tammy. She seems miserable and nasty. The audacity she had to yell at her neighbor about kids playing when one of the kids was her boyfriend's kid! Her son made JJ crack up, which made me crack up. I love when JJ laughs.

Finally, the episode the whole town has been waiting to see since November.  I know Bernie, and my husband knows both of them.  He said he'd hasn't known Bernie to lie, but from the looks on the kids' faces when Bernie said there was no conversation after the incident -- well, it looks like there's a first time for everything.  And a shout out to the local newspaper and printer, the Eagle Grove Eagle!

I had an opposite experience years ago when my crazy aunt and her daughter went on Ricky Lake. Rather than anticipating it, we all had a sense of dread!
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Now see I hope the exact opposite.  That a potential employer was watching and said um, he’s a liar and stupid and then he lied about being stupid, so maybe not so much with this guy’s application.  {{garbagecan3pointer}}

The pit’s owner was… you guys, are we absolutely sure they don't test for high delusion levels as an appearance requirement?  In the halterview, in response to the possibility that the pit bites a baby next did he say my dog hasn’t bitten a two year old......(and wouldn’t?) or (yet?).  Because I don’t feel right snarking on somebody who may have a cognitive impairment for real, I have to ask because I missed hearing him during their case, did he genuinely not understand or was he a garden variety asshole?

 

 

I laughed hard at this, it's proof that I couldn't explain this board to my non ptv friends if I tried.

 

ooooh teebax are you translating stuff?  there's a phrase that Judge Milian says that I cannot remember for the life of me, but according to her, loosely translated it means "the cheap always comes out expensive" and since the only time I even remotely like her is when she lapses in to spanish or spanglish I sort of want to hear it again.   :)

The expression that Milian uses is "lo barato sale caro" or you get what you pay for!

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Who in the world would want all that drama in their lives?

 

Some people love it and are bored and annoyed when things go smoothly. They thrive on chaos.

 

I may not love my neighbours but no way would I throw a log at their car window, exchange blows with them, blast them with my hose or call the police if they put out a Manneken Pis statue, not even if the wee weeny was pointed right at me. Who remembers that? Funny as hell it was, with JJ informing the pearl-clutching plaintiff that the statues are seen all over Belgium and the plaintiff referring to the scandalous doings in BELGIUM as though it were Sodom or Gomorrah.

 

Sorry for the trip down Memory Lane, but some things just stick in your head.

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Yeah, the whole town found out I was a ho after I went on Maury and told errrybody

. And I meant it, too. My life dream is still to drop out of school, to be on Girl's Gone Wild, and most importantly, TO HAVE MAH BABY.

 

Hell. If it gets cold, and it needs a blanket, bitch that's alright because I have it. And don't get me started on if I can't afford some shit...

 

Oh, and I was surprised JJ didn't throw some snark about the mother going to bed early with her boyfriend because "she didn't feel well."  Uh, I think it was more like she and boyfriend didn't want the neighborhood kids to disturb their groove.  But JJ went along with the illness story....maybe she decided that the snark was just too gross.

 

I been dranking, I been dranking! Oh man, I thought I was the only one who thought Ms. Couts with the 40" Vizio Widescreen Smart TV ass was mad because those kids were interrupting her from surfboarding. That's why she was out there acting a fool, even though she considered the lady a friend. That's why they didn't hear the 9-year-old sneak outside too. Shoot, that's probably why the 9-year-old went outside at 9 o'clock at night, because she didn't want to hear Ms. Couts and her Flat Panel E-Series Full Array LED 720p TV booty making horror movie noises. She probably went and got the other neighborhood kids to listen at how funny she sounded...graining on that wood.

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I loved how much the son was enjoying the show. Wonder why he was there! What was he a witness to? Not that I'm complaining. Just sold make more sense for hubby to be there.

I think we got a new word use from thebJohn Deere case. He was picking up trash, garbage and refuge.

Edited by Art Vandelay
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Hell. If it gets cold, and it needs a blanket, bitch that's alright because I have it. And don't get me started on if I can't afford some shit...

And if the pacifi-ah gets lost...no problem.  I gots three more. {makes the Oooh la la Sasson sign}

 

As frightening as that was, I found it funny.  

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Sarcastico, when this happens, I watch at 10 PM on channel 55.  Do you get that channel?  Channel 55 is a CBS affiliate in NYC area.

 

Oh yeah, I get channel 55.  It's usually where I watch JJ.  But on Monday afternoon I happened to be working from home because of the latest "storm of the century."  In fact, given the bad conditions on eastern Long Island on Monday night, it was strange that channel 55 didn't interrupt the 10 p.m. airing of Judy.  But it is strange that so many of us see Judy on stations that pre-empt her at the drop of a hat.  I mean, why interrupt the program with the highest ratings in daytime television? 

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An admission from JJ that some of her cases are boring…

 

Ok Byrd this is a good one, some of  my cases are boring you know, and I have to work them but this one is coming together nicely.

She is almost rubbing her hands in glee.

 

And I did enjoy the very wise son for guffawing at the apt description of his trashy mother.

 

And who thought breaking a back window of an SUV could cost 2500.  Did JJ even ask the vintage of that vehickle to make sure it was worth that much?

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And who thought breaking a back window of an SUV could cost 2500. Did JJ even ask the vintage of that vehickle to make sure it was worth that much?

 

JJ appeared to be itching to toss her case out or offset her award by awarding something on the counterclaim but the defendant, sadly, had no proof of her allegations. Therefore, I believe the plaintiff must have had adequate backup for the amount she was requesting.  

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An admission from JJ that some of her cases are boring…

 

You know she's bored stiff, as we are, with all the stupid boyfriend/girlfriend/loan/gift/busted cell phone/utility bill crap the producers keep shoving at us.

 

And who thought breaking a back window of an SUV could cost 2500.

 

It wasn't just a window, but the wiper, wiper mechanism, de-icer and glass.

Edited by AngelaHunter
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In my repertoire of swear words, I generally avoid "the f word."  But this one will deservedly be added.  A Gem. Thanks, Zaldamo! (It may have appeared before, but really strikes me today!)

 

Lol!! Can't take the credit for this, I got it from twop alum Persnickety.  Struck me too! lol.

 

 

Am I the only one setting this to music? It just has that hoe/ho-down kind of ring to it. And the green grass grows all around, all around, the green grass grows all around...

 

I called my 15 year old and asked her to teach me how to turn it into a ringtone.  If she calls me back I'll pm you ;)

 

The expression that Milian uses is "lo barato sale caro" or you get what you pay for!

 

Thank you poptart, but well, now I'm grouchy all over again - she says a completely different and more charming english translation.

 

I been dranking, I been dranking! Oh man, I thought I was the only one who thought Ms. Couts with the 40" Vizio Widescreen Smart TV ass was mad because those kids were interrupting her from surfboarding. That's why she was out there acting a fool, even though she considered the lady a friend. That's why they didn't hear the 9-year-old sneak outside too. Shoot, that's probably why the 9-year-old went outside at 9 o'clock at night, because she didn't want to hear Ms. Couts and her Flat Panel E-Series Full Array LED 720p TV booty making horror movie noises. She probably went and got the other neighborhood kids to listen at how funny she sounded...graining on that wood.

 

Die. Just die!!  lmao!

 

surfbor't.

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Why is it so hard for neighbors to get along? Who in the world would want all that drama in their lives? Your home is your sanctuary from all the bullshit that comes with everyday life. I can't for the life of me figure out why we see so many cases that involve people who can't figure out how to live next to each other without all the drama.

You know, I've lived next to two neighbors from hell. Growing up, I had a next door neighbor that owned four houses on our block that were right next to each other, had four rottweilers that looked like they would get loose and kill you at any second, he built a gigantic metal building to grow pot in, and he would throw dead birds in our yard that his dogs killed, along with bricks. We managed to live relatively peacefully next to him for fourteen years. As scary as the dude was, we at least knew that if someone tried to break into our house, crazy Edziu would help us out with his guns and man-eating rotties. Our neighbors now we've had for three years, leave their four dogs out at all hours (their yard is next to my bedroom window) won't get the belt fixed on their car so it's been loud as hell these last couple years whenever they take off or come home, let the dog shit sit in the backyard for weeks if not months, so it really reeks in the summer while you're in the pool, and are the kind of people that take their trash and recycling bins in at 2:00 AM even though they've been home all day. Yet I still find no need to go to their house, slash their tires or otherwise vandalize their property, and start physical altercations with them. Call animal control when the dogs are outside in subzero temperatures for hours at a time? Yes. Start shit for no reason? Absolutely not. Neighboring, people. You're doing it wrong.

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she says a completely different and more charming english translation.

 

Is that the "You order the hot chocolate, you pay for the hot chocolate." one?

 

I think the top prize for usage of another language on a court show must go to JJ, for her bleeped-out "shtupping".

 

ETA: Wrong about JM. It's the "The cheap comes out expensive."

Edited by AngelaHunter
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Damn. There was a Manekin Pis case? I missed it. 

 

When we went to Brussels a million years ago, the only thing my mom wanted to see was that damn statue. I knew it was next to the Grand Place, so using my one year of HS French I asked a passer-by "excusez moi, Monsieur, ou est le Grand Place?"  A torrent of utterly incomprehensible French came pouring out, but he pointed in the general direction and we eventually found it (obviously long ago, pre GPS and internet!)

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BTW, JJ is right about beagles. They are the sweetest dogs, but they're not too bright. I've decided to just consider my beagle to be stubborn, but that's just to make myself feel better.

 

LOL!  Nobody ever accused my sweet greyhounds of being rocket surgeons either!

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We had a real-life Tammy. She seems miserable and nasty. The audacity she had to yell at her neighbor about kids playing when one of the kids was her boyfriend's kid! Her son made JJ crack up, which made me crack up. I love when JJ laughs.

I was totally horrified when "Tammy" (dead ringer for the school secretary on Ferris Bueller's Day Off) opened her mouth and revealed a mouth full of crazy teefs. And at the end of the case when she insisted on getting a hug from her neighbor WHO SHE WAS SUING. . . . 

Everybody was too focused on the crazy Grecian-Formula (how black was their hair?) inspired butt kicking lady-and-man combo (I always love when the litigants show up with a big old CROSS necklace on- usually the bigger the cross, the bigger the liar - Jesus is NOT going to protect you from Judge Judy!) to mention the second half of the case - the archer who shot the woman's car from afar who brought his daddy WITH AN EYEPATCH ON. There is no way somebody could make this stuff up!. 

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Today: The Truth Machine at her best, beating the truth out of a bunch of trashy teenagers and their trashy moms.  A weepy bullied girl, her smirking bully, a my-little-angel-can-do-no-wrong mother, lots of blood, and a huge lady brawl somwhere in between getting cigs at the Walgreen's and the Dairy Queen.

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Damn. There was a Manekin Pis case? I missed it.

 

Yes, and it was filled with crazy. Gay, middleaged lady couple moves in, has trouble (don't remember what kind) with neighbour's son, who is a grown man (passive aggressive, chimpmunk-cheeked, pansy-assed loser). Son puts statue out, lady complains because she thinks he's displaying homophobia and mocking their gayness by taunting them with the itty bitty weenie and calls police (I can't imagine what THEY had to say in private). Sonny-boy sneaks out of Daddy's house in the middle of the night and cuts up their snow fence. Is caught doing so on security camera but denies it's him. And on and on...

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Today: The Truth Machine at her best, beating the truth out of a bunch of trashy teenagers and their trashy moms.  A weepy bullied girl, her smirking bully, a my-little-angel-can-do-no-wrong mother, lots of blood, and a huge lady brawl somewhere in between getting cigs at the Walgreen's and the Dairy Queen.

***bows in deference to your verbal words***

 

All I could think about was how the Mean Girls grew up and had their own Mean Girls and the two groups were having a hair pulling party outside the Dairy Queen. White Trash at its finest! 

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Don't forget how Auntie who seemed like a real troublemaker was in Walgreens buying smokes so they "decided" to walk the few blocks to Dairy Queen so they crossed the street to go past defendants' trailer park in order to go to the cigs shop a few doors down from the trailer park.  Sometimes people have to live where they have to live but what a terrible neighborhood this sounds like.  And bratty bully was hanging out in the garage having a party with 9 fellow bullies.  I'm 17 you can't touch me. 

 

Truth Machine went on to destroy dog owner and smug dog walker.  Smug Miss Press winked and mugged for the camera.  It was interesting to see JJ show exactly how she proved cute asian lady plaintiff was telling the truth by asking dog owner if she extended her trip as dog walker said she did.

 

In the hallterview plaintiff said she wanted to be good neighbors while dog walker declared her dog was an angel and the other 4 dogs were crazy.  Gotta thank the camera people for capturing the faces she made.

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Is someone keeping a list of litigant-youngsters we expect to see BACK on JJ in the future? (or in "real" court?)  I think little blondy girl today is a candidate. Giggling much?  I got the feeling her mama was initially intent on getting as much air time as the aunt, but wisely backed off a bit.

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All I could think about was how the Mean Girls grew up and had their own Mean Girls and the two groups were having a hair pulling party outside the Dairy Queen. White Trash at its finest! 

So true.  At first, I thought that Bully Kayla's mother had wet hair.  But it stayed that way the whole time, so she must use that "wet look" gel they used to sell in the 80's.  I also noticed that Bully Kayla used the word "altercation," proving that she was truly meant to be a litigant on a tv court show.  Oh, that demonic smile on her -- evil!  She obviously enjoys a good brawl.....who the hell opens the garage and darts out when they hear people hollering and heckling outside?  I'm much more of a hide-behind-the-blinds indoor looky-loo.

 

The friends who walk each other's annoying dogs case -- I am so glad that JJ sniffed Ms. Press out as an "actress" from the jump.  She seemed like the type of person who lets dogs off their leashes and hopes that strangers look at how "cute" she is "playing" with the dogs.  She was a Notice Me type of person, and I once dealt with one of her clan when I was walking my two dogs.  Her desperation for attention flashed like a neon sign, so I turned tail (and both my dogs' tails) and walked away in the opposite direction.  Who needs a dog scuffle because someone's trying to be a star of her own show?

 

The mother suing her son--- that was ridiculous.  The mother had unrealistic expectations, and the son was either fried after too many parties or a little touched in the head (or both).

 

Today's episode left me craving a Blizzard from Dairy Queen.  I haven't been to DQ in forever (for the same reasons as JJ).

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Yeah, I laughed over the pig comments but when JJ found real negligent damage and son referenced parties and skateboards and we took all the doors off the closet, I sympathized with mother.  Kid doesn't give a shit and I'm glad she said the bank is closed.

 

About the FBI it was hard to hear because plaintiff was talking over JJ but JJ asked why the local authorities would dismiss what she acknowledged was a felony assault case, plaintiff I believe said her local police was being investigated by the FBI.  Sure.OTOH plaintiff did look to be seriously injured from the pictures.  I was waiting for JJ to ask where bully mommy's bf was in all of this since plaintiff said she got a couple of punches from him.  I guess she decided to dismiss the whole thing before she heard testimony. 

 

I do admire how she thoroughly reads and remembers the summons and complaints.  Not sure why she doesn't get documentation like the police report ahead of time. 

 

Although 17 yr old bully used the word altercation I thought I saw an approving nod on JJ's part because the kid seemed intelligent and articulate.  I got the feeling that the particular plaintiff kid was sort of under her radar - that she wasn't the main bully - but hopefully she'll mature and get a better attitude.  Weepy plaintiff kid?  I hope she escapes her misguided mother and trashy aunt and goes off to college far away.

 

Since I don't comment here very often.  Byrd?  Annoying enough that he can't be bothered to fetch documents four feet away but he looks at them.  None of his business.  It wouldn't take me a lot to like Byrd and JJ obviously trusts him but sheet show up for the job Byrd.  It's probably putting your kids through college.

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You leave my Byrd alone! Some of my favorite moments on the show involve him!

Today's case was a perfect example of them spending a half hour on a case that didn't warrant it. I just couldn't bring myself to care about any of the litigants. A full dismissal was absolutely the right verdict. JJ could have disposed of that nonsense before the first commercial break.

Only because we're discussing it here, Judge Milian has two expressions I use often, albeit in English. One is, "Where you're going I've already been, sat down, and had hot chocolate." The other is, "You're sticking your finger in front of the sun and pretending it's not there." There's also one about rice and mangoes or something like that, but I can't recall it at this moment.

I also quote JJ, usually when I'm driving. There's a lot of me shouting "you're a moron" to other drivers who can't hear me.

Edited by teebax
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That's why they didn't hear the 9-year-old sneak outside too. Shoot, that's probably why the 9-year-old went outside at 9 o'clock at night, because she didn't want to hear Ms. Couts and her Flat Panel E-Series Full Array LED 720p TV booty making horror movie noises. She probably went and got the other neighborhood kids to listen at how funny she sounded...graining on that wood.

 

That's some Grade-A snark right there.

 

Laughing so hard I think I ripped a tendon or something...

 

 

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Is someone keeping a list of litigant-youngsters we expect to see BACK on JJ in the future? (or in "real" court?)

Or perhaps on Jerry Springer or Maury  complaining about how their mother stole their boyfriend and there's a 99% possibility the baby isn't his. . . 

 

Yeah, I laughed over the pig comments but when JJ found real negligent damage and son referenced parties and skateboards and we took all the doors off the closet, I sympathized with mother.

But that son was really handsome and his mother looked a tad old to be the mom of a 24 year old (unless she was just beat up from dealing with her kids or she had them later in life - or maybe I'm too used to seeing 38 year old grandmothers on JJ. . I kept wondering what the daddy looked like

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12 Sober Witnesses, 11 Flower Pots, 10 Napkin Holders, 9 Brooms a'sweepin', 8 Mops a'moppin', 7 Industrial Dustpans, 6 Shower Curtains And 5 Years of Post Graduate Legal Education! - My true love game to me... LOL.  This was one crowded courtroom today for what amounted to second hand leftovers you'd find at a garage sale, late on a Sunday afternoon, on a sunny June day. Best watched with an oversize cocktail in your hand.  Cheers!

 

12 Half-Emptied Bottles of Conditioner, 11 Combs, 10 Bobby Pins, 9 Dye Applicators, 8 Rounded Brushes, 7 Bottles of Relaxer, 6 Used Hair Dryers, 5 Years of Post Graduate Legal Education, One Robbery And Zero Insurance! - Get Insurance, you doofus, don't sue another victim who has insurance... that's not how it works!  If you're going to argue she claimed for stuff that you owned, you'd better have proof... otherwise you'll just have to buy a fresh batch of rollers and bobby pins and keep us and JJ out of it.

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ToasterStrudel - that must be our new Judge Judy Christmas theme song!

 

All this BS - antique napkin dispenser, old shitty applicances, def's "fiancee" being a  few cans short of a six pack, plaintiff with one ratty mess of a wig, insurance taking effect two hours after all other plaintiff's crap gets stolen, blah blah - BORING!

 

But Mr. Jackson? Admittedly, I have a hang-up about eyes, so his "Night of the Living Dead" bulging, super white, huge eyeballs so distracted and horrified me I had trouble listening to the case. All I gathered was that Mr. Jackson thought court = 5K lottery winning and that the def., who seemed to be looking for love in all the wrong places, was a big fat liar.

 

From the previews, the next episode should be more fun.

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But Mr. Jackson? Admittedly, I have a hang-up about eyes, so his "Night of the Living Dead" bulging, super white, huge eyeballs so distracted and horrified me I had trouble listening to the case. All I gathered was that Mr. Jackson thought court = 5K lottery winning and that the def., who seemed to be looking for love in all the wrong places, was a big fat liar.

6P9OwaH.jpg  Y0w4vmx.jpg

 

 

At first, I thought Mr. Jackson was a nut because of his eyes.  And I found Mr. Lloyd to look as cute as a button in his fly shirt, tie, and vest.  I also enjoyed his look of pure shade here:

K5INhLi.jpg

 

But then Mr. Lloyd turned out to have pants on fire!  There was no knife to his throat---there were no knives in the house; not even a butter knife!!  And what did he mean when he accused Mr. Jackson of having "the whole apartment fumigated with gas." -- was that a fart reference??  

 

In the other case with the missing broom, napkin holder, and other Dollar Tree items....  So, can anyone call their home a "Sober Living House?"  I think they were all shysters.  When Ms. Dunn said either the responders or the doctor (can't remember which) put ice on her elbow, it made me think of all of the students who claim to have an ailment, are totally faking it to get out of class, the school nurse detects their BS, and they return to class with a bag of ice and a paper towel.  Ice is for bullshitters.  But Ms. Dunn made out fat --- she got $500, and I think that was overly generous.

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Oh, Mr. Jackson.  That's some classic Marfan's Syndrome.  I'm not a doctor, I just play one on tv.  And I remember Marfan's from ER; he's at risk for aortic dissection.

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CoolWhipLite - nice shots. I was so aghast I nearly dug my camera out, but was unable to move as I was on the edge of my seat in fear that those eyeballs were going to jump right out of his head and land on the desk.

 

And I found Mr. Lloyd to look as cute as a button in his fly shirt, tie, and vest.

 

Really? He vaguely reminded me of a Star Trek alien, athough I can't say which kind. Maybe a Romulan?

 

Was big eyes a new case?

 

New to me for sure. I'd have remembered had I seen him before.

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I paused TV and alerted reading husband. He looked up and almost startled out of his chair. He actually took a photo and posted it on Facebook. This guy is sure to be in the hall of fame of Judge Judy.

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Yeah so I missed the first case of Zoobat vs. the Homosexual, but I hope it ended well. And I hope the plaintiff sees himself on TV and stops, you know, scaring people.

The mother suing her son--- that was ridiculous.  The mother had unrealistic expectations, and the son was either fried after too many parties or a little touched in the head (or both).

Yeah, JJ was being super annoying in that case. She kept saying "that's what happens when you let an 18 year old move into a house on their own". First of all, it's not like he'd been eight months and had just turned 19. He was 24 and is at least old enough to be held responsible for leaving a condo in shitty condition. Second, JJ? Bitch it's not about you or your kids. I know you pride yourself on not hiding your perspective, but so what this woman made a decision you wouldn't have made. She wasn't being unreasonable by expecting him to pay for damaging the place.

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