All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[27bored]

How about the Wests who named their kid North?

I feel bad for little GPS. She's gonna be nothing but ass, jaws, and desperation. Her mom is famous for a sex video and is still taking pictures with her ass turned up to the camera then wondering why nobody takes her seriously, and her dad thinks he's the risen savior, because why the hell wouldn't he be?

[Oinky Boinky]

In Elderly Co-Dependent Roomies, Ms. Fletcher had that annoying habit of mouthing everyone else's words.  I don't think I've ever seen a younger person with that issue.  What is up with that?  Is it an anxiety thing or a compulsion?  I'm a curious person. 

I knew a girl, not quite 30 who did that. She watched your mouth the whole time and I wonder if it was a comprehension or hearing disability thing. To me it is sort of a habit like mouthing the words when you read with the mistaken idea that it gets to your brain better. 

[Oinky Boinky]

I remember that and have to think that some parents didn't really want their kids when they give them names they know will be ridiculed. Or maybe they're just short on brain power.

 

"Justin Case" is another that comes to mind. People, if your last name is "Case" don't name your kid "JUSTIN."

If your last name is Hiscock. You don't name your boy Holden.  Ooops too late.

 

Was it a JJ case or my real life that introduced me to a used car salesman named Rusty Heeps? I can picture him in my mind.

Edited January 26, 2015 by Oinky Boinky

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

In Elderly Co-Dependent Roomies, Ms. Fletcher had that annoying habit of mouthing everyone else's words.  I don't think I've ever seen a younger person with that issue.  What is up with that?  Is it an anxiety thing or a compulsion?  I'm a curious person.

I wasn't sure she was mouthing the other lady's words or mouthing the words of all the voices in her head. She reminds me of the old ladies I see at church who mouth the rosary during mass. Or maybe she was chewing on her righteous indignation and that bitter pill wasn't about to go down. In any event the two of them got into an old lady passive-aggressive tea party (reminded me of the Everybody Loves Raymond episode where Ray leaves his suitcase on the stairs and he and his wife get into a war because neither of them want to move it) 

 

I'm in the wrong business. I really need to open up a mobile business devoted to patching nail holes in walls. Imagine at $75 a pop how much moolah one could make!!!

[Zahdii]

Some people with hearing problems unconsciously mouth the words of the people who are talking.  It's like they're trying to lip read, but haven't had the training for it.

 

I did have one friend who did that.  She was raised by her grandparents who did that, and it was an acquired habit.

 

I knew another woman in college who mouthed people's words.  She said she had a terrible memory and mouthing along with people helped her to remember what was being said.

 

I do it sometimes when I either can't figure out what a person meant, or when I can't believe what I've just heard.

[Toaster Strudel]

TRIFECTA!

 

Bouncy Bouncing Bounce House - This is a great idea.  If you're going to have a party where you and your friends are going to binge on speed, rent a bounce house!  All that jumping and bouncing is sure to expend a lot of your manic energy, and when you come down your high, it's all cushiony everywhere!  Just make sure to return it to Bounce'R'Us Rentals through the proper channels, rather than your drug-addled imagination.

 

Bounced Off Roommate - JJ denied us the pleasure of finding out why the defendant roommates were so hot to get rid of their new tenant.  Calling on my broadcast-to-brain deleted scene subscription, he didn't wipe after he wanked.  Curiosity satisfied!

 

The Hard Way, Ma'am, I Insist - This deadbeat chose his poison.  It was as if he has a special brain lobe dedicated to denial of responsibility, even in the face of evidence.  Methinks this one is going to be behind on his bills a long, long time.

[Sarcastico]

Predicting that WCBS in New York will pre-empt her Judiness for the storm of the century (she's on at 4:00 in NYC).  The storm which hasn't even started yet.  I'm in NJ, and it's been just flurries all day.

 

EDITED TO ADD:

 

Ding ding ding, I was right.

Edited January 26, 2015 by Sarcastico

[27bored]

Timothy McCausland is probably a nice-looking young man when he wipes the silly grin off his face for a second and shaves that silly beard off. I don't understand dudes who get a line-up and yet look like American Jihadi up about the jawline. Maybe he'll razor shave that shit off when he gets a big boy job, because if you want people to take you seriously, you have to look like you take yourself seriously. The More You Know.

 

Bouncy Bouncy was funny. The defendant with his Frantic Biceps of Desperation could not stop talking. But can I...But your Honor...But what about my counterclaim...Y'ain't gonna hear 'bout my counterclaim? GODDAMN BYE FELICIA SHIT. Go get your life and leave me alone!

 

The case with the deadbeat brother was interesting. I...halfway believed the defendant than the plaintiff. First of all, I think he's one of those guys whose gotten by on his looks and probably have a lot of girlfriends he's lived off of (I got the feeling we were talking about some back child support), which is why he's fell on hard times. Because he's spent more time getting women than on a job. He's got a kid, a baby, a truuuuuuck, a house, and he owes Uncle Sam. I wish I had game. Then I could sell this motherfucking condo and go live with some chick and her mom. All she'll want is some dick and a hug and I can stay up all night and sleep all day. But I gotta work and pay bills and turn tricks on the side. Girl it's hard out here for a...

[AngelaHunter]

Quote

Timothy McCausland is probably a nice-looking young man when he wipes the silly grin off his face for a second and shaves that silly beard off.

 

He may be a wonderful person, but if I had to look at him every day wearing that creepy, Cheshire Cat-like perma-grin, I'd want him out too. This doesn't change the fact that the defendants appeared to be douchebags.

 

Quote

All that jumping and bouncing is sure to expend a lot of your manic energy

 

The defendant, looking like a freshly groomed Komondor, left me dizzy with his rapid-fire, garbled stream of consciousness babbling. I still have no idea what his defense was. JJ didn't either, so she gave him the boot before her head exploded. To quote a former litigant, "Wow! Whew!"

 

QuoteIt was as if he has a special brain lobe dedicated to denial of responsibility, even in the face of evidence.

 

 

I hope the plaintiff learned not to give large sums of money to the slacker brother of some girlfriend. Mr. Hill was of the "Evidence? I don't know nothing, didn't do nothing, even if I'm stupid enough to say the word "loan" in front of 10 million people."

[Oinky Boinky]

Guy Smiley and the Muppets...

 

Judge Judy told the mother 'speak to your boy'

 

What do you think the mother whispered in his ear?

 

It seemed to work a bit.  I thought there was something wrong with him. Is that what a shrink would call a labile affect?

[AngelaHunter]

First of all, I think he's one of those guys whose gotten by on his looks

 

Are you referring to Mr. Hill(billy) with the Jethro Clampett accent and the biggest ears I've ever seen on a human being? If he gets through life on his looks, the apocalypse is way overdue.

 

OTOH, considering what so many women on this show find irrisistible, it could very well be a possibility.

[BubblingKettle]

Timothy MCasland, his smartass eyebrows, and his toilet-seat-shaped facial hair got on my last nerve.  I really want to know what his mother said to him.  I doubt it's what I would have said {full stank-eye, clenched teeth}--"Stop that smartass, smug shit NOW, or I will embarrass you so hard on national TV. Do you hear me?!"

 

Maybe he'll razor shave that shit off when he gets a big boy job, because if you want people to take you seriously, you have to look like you take yourself seriously. The More You Know.

 

^^Wisdom.^^

 

Fast-talkin' Walter Jones, how do you not clearly remember returning a giant bouncehouse and two generators?  {Cue Eddie Murphy's one hit} Wal-ter likes to party all the time, party all the time, bouncin all the tiiiime.  

Walter swore he returned "everything.....everything!" (He always said "everything" two times.)  The best part was Walter's face when JJ wouldn't hear his counterclaim --- his expression reminded me of a deflated bouncehouse.

[Blue Plastic]

In Elderly Co-Dependent Roomies, Ms. Fletcher had that annoying habit of mouthing everyone else's words.  I don't think I've ever seen a younger person with that issue.  What is up with that?  Is it an anxiety thing or a compulsion?  I'm a curious person. 

I didn't realize she was mouthing words but I guess that's what it was.  I spent the whole time thinking maybe she had some kind of movement disorder affecting her lips.  It was really annoying.  But the other lady had a very annoying sadsack expression on her face so it was a tossup which one of them was worse.  It was sad that they had been friends for a long time and it all went to heck in their golden years.  Maybe one or both of them has some dementia contributing to this problem.  It does sound like the sadsack one was having fights with a lot of people, though.

 

I was surprised that JJ interpreted the girls' living arrangements and lease as license for anyone of them to behave any way she wishes at any time of the day (she even mentioned 3, 4, 5 AM!), no matter the consequences on the others. I thought for sure that she would say something to the effect that the rules of living in society would impose a few limits on party girl's freedom to wreak havoc on her friends' studies and sleep. That being said, the mother was imprudent to say the least.

I was a little confused with that one because JJ didn't even ask the hard partier any questions, and it doesn't seem unreasonable to me that all the girls would have to make some adjustments to living with others.  No, the others can't just change the rules and say "no parties," but the hard partier can't expect her roommates to just sit back and say nothing while she parties 'til the break of dawn.  I guess JJ didn't appreciate that there was no attempt at compromise, the experienced adult in this situation could have stopped it before it started by not co-signing, and no one tried to replace the partier roommate.

 

Bounced Off Roommate - JJ denied us the pleasure of finding out why the defendant roommates were so hot to get rid of their new tenant.

He was weird.  The defendants were wrong to keep his rent payment but I have to wonder if the plaintiff goes around with that bizarre grin pasted on his face all the time.  Because if he does, I wouldn't want him around either.  I'd be happy to give him his money back if that would get rid of him!  Was that why JJ told his mother to talk to him?  Was she afraid he was going to be a smart alec because of his facial expression?  I would love to know what goes on behind the scenes because maybe that would explain more of what was going on here.

[teebax]

My brother-in-law asked me if I wanted to go into business with him renting bouncy houses. It's really lucrative, apparently. If the plaintiff In that case paid $1350 for her bouncy house four years ago and was still using it until Captain Responsibility didn't return it, she made pretty good money on her investment. And then she won a brand new one. Cha-ching!

Sadly, my brother-in-law's idea of us going into business together constitutes me completely paying for said bouncy houses and him doing the leg work to get them rented out and manage the rentals. Unfortunately for him, I watch too much JJ to go into business with a family member, much less one with no capital for the start up. I don't think he's a hustla, but that scenario had disaster written all over it. If he'd come to me with half of the startup costs, I may have thought longer about it before saying no. So, once again, Teebax probably missed a shot at going on JJ. Sigh.

Today's rerun featured one of my favorite litigants of all time, Ms. Chia Pet who sells 'insurances'. Much like Tommy from the sitcom Martin, she's one of those people who clearly makes money despite having a job she can neither name nor explain.

[augmentedfourth]

Timothy MCasland, his smartass eyebrows, and his toilet-seat-shaped facial hair got on my last nerve.

This just made my day. I was cranky for having to catch the 10:00 reruns because hey! did you know it's going to snow in New York? And then OMGSNOW! preempted part of Jeopardy, so I was an even crankier old woman. I have to remember "toilet-seat-shaped facial hair" for the next time I see some dude with a doofy beard.

[Brattinella]

I didn't see it, but I picture Michael McDonald-type facial hair.

[AngelaHunter]

I don't think he's a hustla, but that scenario had disaster written all over it.

 

I think so too, not that he's a hustla, but going into business with family seems to be a bad idea on several levels  even if we aren't avaricious, amoral cretins like most of the people we see here.

 

I always do what JJ says  and it was her voice in my head that prevented me from co-signing a rather substantial loan for a friend a few years back. It was hard to say no, but the threat of ending up on JJ and having her call me a fool in front of 10 million people stiffened my resolve and I'm glad it did.

[Brattinella]

That douchebag with the Ears said something to the effect of "Get out of paying it back".   Jerk.

[Trini]

The Hard Way, Ma'am, I Insist - This deadbeat chose his poison.  It was as if he has a special brain lobe dedicated to denial of responsibility, even in the face of evidence.  Methinks this one is going to be behind on his bills a long, long time.

 

I actually felt sad... for all the people he owes money to. They aren't getting paid back any time soon. Or ever.

 

Smiley Roommate reminded me of a chipmunk.

[Oinky Boinky]

I am channeling JJ because "I am not getting a visual of this" when I read about toilet seat facial hair. I am getting all kinds of weird visions. So I hope it is one of my episodes today.

On his other end we would call this a scrotee. 

 

So he has scrotee facial hair.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

 

On his other end we would call this a scrotee.

So he has scrotee facial hair.

I cannot continue to read this page while eating lunch - I just choked up my watermelon and now I'm crying from laughter and fruit choke. 

 

WTH was up with Bounce House Guy? I was trying to pick up my living room while I was watching him and I couldn't follow one thing he was saying. I thought maybe my OldTimer's disease had kicked in. Or his meth.

[Toaster Strudel]

Misunfortunate!!! - My beloved JJ was pre-empted all the way up to the last 5 minutes, long enough to catch the pitbull owner talking about his misunfortunate situation.  Yes, his diabolical, dog-eating pitbull is a "kitty kat" that has been eating all the dogs in the neighborhood, from Yorkies to Dalmatians.

[AngelaHunter]

I love how snow storms, rain, phantom tornados and maybe windy days become urgent to discuss at great length ONLY during JJ.

 

Someone out there hates us.

[BubblingKettle]

I wish that my JJ was pre-empted today.  That pitbull case was so gross and the owner was so unfazed by all of the attacks s/he'd committed...I wish I didn't even see it.  

 

The other case was about car payments or something...it was boring.  The only somewhat fun part was when JJ accused the litigant's mother, "she just thinks she's cuter than I am, but she's not."

 

Today's second episode - the rerun- was a painful one.  Ugh, never again do I want to see that case with the "I'm homeless" kid who tried to convince JJ that another person had his scraggly, self-taught cursive signature and was fraudulently signing titles for shitty cars. 

[NowVoyager]

With the coverage of the "snore-storm" (apologies to folks further north that actually got hit badly), you guys may have missed today's Hit & Run Case.

No, really. The 19 year old defendant hit the plantiff's car, then ran away on foot. The plantiff was able to track down the bill of sale on the car with the defendant's unique curlicued signature, which matched the one on his sworn statement exactly. I almost felt bad for him. He stood there in an ill-fitting suit saying he couldn't possibly own a car because he was homeless & that the signature was forged. He stuck to his story even as JJ pointed out that his mother was laughing heartily at him. Even in the hallterview he just wouldn't let it go. He was dead wrong for what he did, but I hope the young man gets a bit of direction. And a job.

I also thoroughly enjoyed JJ going off on the three irresponsible pitbull owners (not to be confused with the solitary pit bull owner who kept apologizing, yet making excuses): "Where the Hell were you?!" Ah!!! That was gold I tell ya.

Edited January 28, 2015 by NowVoyager

[califred]

The pit bull owner was a moron. I'm wondering how long before that dog mauls a kid.

[27bored]

The first case was an old, old rerun. The case with the dog attacking the lady's dog and she poke-stabbed it 16 times. Poor lady. JJ calling the guy a moron was pretty nasty and why I have a hard time watching her sometimes. You don't know the kid from Adam; stop being judgmental. The case with the chick tracking down Shaq because he hit her car, but he's "homeless" and his mom "doesn't have a place to stay at the moment...she's staying with my grandfather" and he can't stay with his grandfather because granddad "doesn't like a whole lot of people in his house" so he couldn't have bought a car...yeah. I think someone looked him up and found out he has a couple of kids. And he's 19.

 

The next episode: I liked the mom in the first case with the guy and the repossessed car. She was precocious and she managed to turn the case around, a bit. JJ said "she thinks she's cuter than me". Bitch, boo, bye. The mom wasn't deterred and she made the point that she offered to pay off the car but the guy didn't want to, likely because he knew the kid had made some upgrades to the car. And, it's possible the guy wasn't on-time with the payments trying to upgrade the car.

 

The last case with the dog almost killing the 4 lb dog was...boring. I'm beginning to think most dogs are assholes to each other, and the bigger the dog, the bigger an asshole they are. And, it seems like some dogs aren't good to have in certain areas. If you're in a house with a fence, that's fine. But if you're in an apartment/condo, you don't need to have an aggressive breed of dog. Kiiiind of asking for trouble.

[teebax]

You all should have watched People's Court today. We got a new word for the lexicon: alterfication. As in, "We got into an alterfication."

These two people must have made a left at Albuquerque and ended up in New York instead of LA. There's no way they didn't belong on JJ.

Based on the posts about today, I think I'll actually skip JJ tonight. I can't do another freaking pit bull case.

[Jade Foxx]

 

I don't understand dudes who get a line-up and yet look like American Jihadi up about the jawline.

 

 

Timothy MCasland, his smartass eyebrows, and his toilet-seat-shaped facial hair got on my last nerve

 

 

So he has scrotee facial hair.

 

 

deeeaaddddd!!!!

[AngelaHunter]

Ugh, never again do I want to see that case with the "I'm homeless" kid who tried to convince JJ that another person had his scraggly, self-taught cursive signature and was fraudulently signing titles for shitty cars.

 

Yes! I knew I had seen that before. Shaquille, who is HOMELESS, dontcha know, and crashed his shitty Lincoln into the plaintiff's car - even though she saw him, tracked him down and got the sales contract with HIS signature on it, he didn't do it. He wasn't there. He don't know nothing and he's HOMELESS, but still has FB. Oh, and Momma's homeless too. So there.

 

Yeah, the one time I had an accident my first instinct was to get out of my car and run for the hills.

[augmentedfourth]

The first case was an old, old rerun. The case with the dog attacking the lady's dog and she poke-stabbed it 16 times. Poor lady. JJ calling the guy a moron was pretty nasty and why I have a hard time watching her sometimes. You don't know the kid from Adam; stop being judgmental. 

I actually thought she was spot-on with the "moron" descriptor and that the kid got off light. He lied to his sister, he lied to JJ on TV, and anyone with half a brain cell knows you don't let pitbulls run around all willy nilly where you can't see them while you chat on your cell phone. If that makes me judgmental too, so be it.

[Rick Kitchen]

I love how snow storms, rain, phantom tornados and maybe windy days become urgent to discuss at great length ONLY during JJ.

 

Someone out there hates us.

 

On the West Coast, it's Days of Our Lives that gets interrupted every time.  They even interrupted Days the other day for a Tom Brady press conference.

[teebax]

On the West Coast, it's Days of Our Lives that gets interrupted every time.  They even interrupted Days the other day for a Tom Brady press conference.

Seriously??? Are you in Seattle? Otherwise I can't imagine why anyone on the west coast would care about this silly football story. I'm only a couple of hours from where the Super Bowl is being played, and I don't think the local stations here aired that press conference.

[Rick Kitchen]

Seriously??? Are you in Seattle? Otherwise I can't imagine why anyone on the west coast would care about this silly football story. I'm only a couple of hours from where the Super Bowl is being played, and I don't think the local stations here aired that press conference.

 

Nope, Sacramento, but it was the network that interrupted.

[teebax]

The pit bull owner was a moron. I'm wondering how long before that dog mauls a kid.

I didn't realize it until I watched it this morning that the victim dog was a beagle. I have a beagle. If another dog, regardless of breed, attacked my beagle I'd to it exactly what JJ said Byrd would do: I'd shoot it. And I wouldn't feel an ounce of remorse about it. I have zero patience for dog owners/sitters who think it's okay to let dogs run loose. If your dog attacks my dog, you're not going to have a dog any longer.

 

BTW, JJ is right about beagles. They are the sweetest dogs, but they're not too bright. I've decided to just consider my beagle to be stubborn, but that's just to make myself feel better.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

He stuck to his story even as JJ pointed out that his mother was laughing heartily at him. Even in the hallterview he just wouldn't let it go.

Chenelle, Shaquille - Hasenfeffer Incorporated! (could not help myself)

 

I'm reminded of a Spanish phrase that Judge Marilyn uses over on the People's Court ***waves at Teebax *** that translates to "even you don't believe your own story". 

 

And yes, I did hear the "alterification " over at People's Court yesterday, Teebax!

[ZaldamoWilder]

With the coverage of the "snore-storm" (apologies to folks further north that actually got hit badly), you guys may have missed today's Hit & Run Case.

No, really. The 19 year old defendant hit the plantiff's car, then ran away on foot. The plantiff was able to track down the bill of sale on the car with the defendant's unique curlicued signature, which matched the one on his sworn statement exactly. I almost felt bad for him. He stood there in an ill-fitting suit saying he couldn't possibly own a car because he was homeless & that the signature was forged. He stuck to his story even as JJ pointed out that his mother was laughing heartily at him. Even in the hallterview he just wouldn't let it go. He was dead wrong for what he did, but I hope the young man gets a bit of direction. And a job.

I also thoroughly enjoyed JJ going off on the three irresponsible pitbull owners (not to be confused with the solitary pit bull owner who kept apologizing, yet making excuses): "Where the Hell were you?!" Ah!!! That was gold I tell ya.

 

Now see I hope the exact opposite.  That a potential employer was watching and said um, he’s a liar and stupid and then he lied about being stupid, so maybe not so much with this guy’s application.  {{garbagecan3pointer}}

The pit’s owner was… you guys, are we absolutely sure they don't test for high delusion levels as an appearance requirement?  In the halterview, in response to the possibility that the pit bites a baby next did he say my dog hasn’t bitten a two year old......(and wouldn’t?) or (yet?).  Because I don’t feel right snarking on somebody who may have a cognitive impairment for real, I have to ask because I missed hearing him during their case, did he genuinely not understand or was he a garden variety asshole?

 

Ok I think I watched all the episodes that should have had one toilet seat facial hair dude. But I just didn't see it. Was it the marijuana case? Or the case where JJ had the plaintiff's mother speak to him? All I kept visualizing was urinals for some reason. The seat just wasn't coming into view for my mind. 

 

I laughed hard at this, it's proof that I couldn't explain this board to my non ptv friends if I tried.

 

ooooh teebax are you translating stuff?  there's a phrase that Judge Milian says that I cannot remember for the life of me, but according to her, loosely translated it means "the cheap always comes out expensive" and since the only time I even remotely like her is when she lapses in to spanish or spanglish I sort of want to hear it again.   :)

[Toaster Strudel]

Log Attack - I loved the teenager that was enjoying his mother getting a well-deserved dress down from JJ over her having gratuitous, trivial, nasty-mouthed arguments with her neighbor.  Sure, the neighbor retaliated to what amounted to a pile of pointless belligerence by tossing a log through her car window, and she had to pay for that, but JJ wasn't too happy giving her all that money, that's for sure.  You could tell she was itching to make up for it by ruling against the defendant over the counterclaim for a revenge call to CPS, but no proof.  Poor JJ went home that night knowing Justice hadn't been served, but her hands were tied.

 

Mower Attack - Small town lawn mowing operator drinks and bashes into a car.  Doesn't have insurance!  I really liked the plaintiff, he seemed like a really nice guy.

Edited January 28, 2015 by Toaster Strudel

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

The pit’s owner was… you guys, are we absolutely sure they don't test for high delusion levels as an appearance requirement?  In the halterview, in response to the possibility that the pit bites a baby next did he say my dog hasn’t bitten a two year old......(and wouldn’t?) or (yet?).

Several years back my pug was attacked by a pit mix that was being walked by a young girl - the dog broke free and shook my dog so fiercely he was torn out of his collar and leash. He also bit my dog one last time as he tried to run, leaving a ring of teeth marks around his curly tail. I had to BEAT the dog on the snout and head to get him to let go. Luckily my dog has very thick skin and a very thick coat and ended up with mostly superficial injuries and bruises but no puncture wounds. Do you that simpleton owner came to my house a few days later WITH THE DOG in order to convince me that the dog was really a sweetheart and he wanted our dogs to make friends. No really.  So I think pit owners are so convinced their dogs are angels that any inference to the contrary is just not fathomable by them and they don't realize that if their dog decides to bite that serious severe damage can be done in an instant. I've had dogs all my life and ALL dogs have the capacity to bite at some point. 

[ZaldamoWilder]

That level of nutfuckery is what makes me ask.  Again, I didn't hear him speak until the halterview and his comments about the dog's potential for attacking a baby were unnerving.   You didn't answer my question so I'm gonna have to assume it's the same garden variety type of assholery as your neighbor.

 

By the way, were you just supposed to glean that he was a nice doggie from being around him for a couple minutes? and if so then....what? he couldn'tve bitten your pug?  Strangest reaction ever.

[AngelaHunter]

the neighbor retaliated to what amount to a pile of pointless belligerence by tossing a log through her car window,

 

A log through a car window! That's more like it! I just hope neither wind nor rain nor snow nor even a speech from the mayor's secretary in JoeBloVille butts in today.

[Milz]

Yes! I knew I had seen that before. Shaquille, who is HOMELESS, dontcha know, and crashed his shitty Lincoln into the plaintiff's car - even though she saw him, tracked him down and got the sales contract with HIS signature on it, he didn't do it. He wasn't there. He don't know nothing and he's HOMELESS, but still has FB. Oh, and Momma's homeless too. So there.

 

Yeah, the one time I had an accident my first instinct was to get out of my car and run for the hills.

 

I surmised he was homeless because he smashed his home into the plaintiff's car rendering his home inoperable and unlivable.

[Sarcastico]

 

A log through a car window! That's more like it!

 

I know!  A log hasn't figured in a case since Hillbilly Hag attacked Hillbilly Ho with a log when Hag caught Ho with Hag's husband!  "She knocked me outta mah shoes!"

[EtheltoTillie]

Predicting that WCBS in New York will pre-empt her Judiness for the storm of the century (she's on at 4:00 in NYC).  The storm which hasn't even started yet.  I'm in NJ, and it's been just flurries all day.

 

EDITED TO ADD:

 

Ding ding ding, I was right.

Sarcastico, when this happens, I watch at 10 PM on channel 55.  Do you get that channel?  Channel 55 is a CBS affiliate in NYC area.

[AngelaHunter]

A log hasn't figured in a case since Hillbilly Hag attacked Hillbilly Ho with a log when Hag caught Ho with Hag's husband!  "She knocked me outta mah shoes!"

 

Yes, that's kind of what I was hoping for. However, listening to these ghastly great beasts ranting in their broken English wasn't so much entertaining as irritating. It may have been more fun if no children were involved.  The only part I enjoyed was plaintiff's son, who thought JJ's less than flattering description of his mom was hilarious. I wonder why she brought him.

 

I did really enjoy the rerun of "He kicked me in the buttocks only once, and then assaulted me so of course I married him", with Don Juan and "Baby, that's a man!" I can only assume that had he kicked her in the ass twice, she may have reconsidered joining him in matrimonial bliss.

[AuntiePam]

 

Mower Attack - Small town lawn mowing operator drinks and bashes into a car.  Doesn't have insurance!  I really liked the plaintiff, he seemed like a really nice guy.

 

Finally, the episode the whole town has been waiting to see since November.  I know Bernie, and my husband knows both of them.  He said he'd hasn't known Bernie to lie, but from the looks on the kids' faces when Bernie said there was no conversation after the incident -- well, it looks like there's a first time for everything.  And a shout out to the local newspaper and printer, the Eagle Grove Eagle! 

[SandyToes]

 

nutfuckery

In my repertoire of swear words, I generally avoid "the f word."  But this one will deservedly be added.  A Gem. Thanks, Zaldamo! (It may have appeared before, but really strikes me today!)

 

And the butt-kicking marrying trio is a favorite oldy of mine.  JJ even loved that it was an "interesting" case. Wackadoodles.

 

 

Hillbilly Hag attacked Hillbilly Ho with a log when Hag caught Ho with Hag's husband!

Am I the only one setting this to music? It just has that hoe/ho-down kind of ring to it. And the green grass grows all around, all around, the green grass grows all around...

[Carolina Girl]

I use toothpaste on the holes in my walls.

 

I did too!!  The added bonus is it left my apartment smelling "minty fresh!"

[Florinaldo]

The way the mother reacted to her son agreeing with JJ's characterisation of her, I fear for the poor lad's safety. Perhaps he got a good ass whuppin' when they got home, administered with the very same log used to break the car window.

[AngelaHunter]

Bernie said there was no conversation after the incident

 

You kind of know the outcome of a case where the defendant says that every single thing the plaintiff said is a lie. No attempt at a defense except that the incident and the conversations never happened. It's all a figment of the  delusional plaintiff's imagination. "Verdict for the plaintiff!"

 

Bernie, couldn't you have at least tried to come up with a more plausible lie?