All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[BubblingKettle]

I got the feeling that dude went looking for renters in the "strictly platonic" section. Older, slightly effeminate single man moves in young, lanky, slightly dim-witted guileless guy who left because he "felt uncomfortable" after the man had dropped his rent down from $500 to $300 and let him pay late and never pay the whole amount? Yeeeeah.

Yes!! I got that same vibe.  At one point (I think in the hallterview), he said that he was charging him only $75 for rent. I couldn't help but wonder if there was some booty bartering going on there.  Typical Craigslist.

[6 MeowMeowBeenz]

Typical Craigslist.

 

the problem is, Craigslist has driven out the competition. Newspaper classifieds? They're a joke anymore

 

So other than taping a piece of paper to a telephone pole, Craigslist is about the only game in town for many transactions. 

[AngelaHunter]

young, lanky, slightly dim-witted guileless guy

 

"Slightly"? You're too kind.

[califred]

I did not have any good feelings for the daughter of the optical shop owner.

I also didn't grasp why the other woman bought lab equipment until they said "We weren't sure if we were going to pay hourly or they were going to sublease"

[AngelaHunter]

I did not have any good feelings for the daughter of the optical shop owner.

 

Mom and daughter made me think of a two-headed Hydra. Daughter just could NOT keep her big, sloppy flappy piehole shut and got her case dismissed. If anyone who needs glasses lives in that area, I hope they steer clear of that bitch's shop.

[One Tough Cookie]

That case was aggravating ALL ROUND. Every single litigant managed to work my last nerve. 

[howiveaddict]

Recent rerun was Momma suing young son and his gf.  I think for the remainder of a lease she had paid on.  Momma had also thrown the kids out of the apartment because it was so dirty.  During the hallterview, Momma said "I'll never get him back!" in regards to her son.  I thought that was all kinds of icky.

[Talented Tenth]

You're absolutely right. We've seen people here with arguments not nearly as stupid and ridiculous as Shafonta's being given short shrift. I can't imagine what made JJ put up with planitiffs' utter nonsense and thick-headedness that would have made a child lose patience. Very odd indeed.

 

I didn't think the plaintiff was being nonsensical.  The defendant lied to her about her car's condition in order to trick her into selling it to him.  She was definitely defrauded.  Most Americans are not mechanics and need an expert to tell us what's wrong.  How was she supposed to know he was lying?  Judge Judy acted as if the mechanic were a layperson.  Diagnostic fees are not inexpensive and people can't afford to get second, third and fourth opinions from various mechanics.

[Puffaroo]

I didn't think the plaintiff was being nonsensical.  The defendant lied to her about her car's condition in order to trick her into selling it to him.  She was definitely defrauded.  Most Americans are not mechanics and need an expert to tell us what's wrong.  How was she supposed to know he was lying?  Judge Judy acted as if the mechanic were a layperson.  Diagnostic fees are not inexpensive and people can't afford to get second, third and fourth opinions from various mechanics.

 

I've never been charged for an estimate, and I wouldn't patronize any mechanic who tried that.

[Florinaldo]

I didn't think the plaintiff was being nonsensical.  The defendant lied to her about her car's condition in order to trick her into selling it to him.  She was definitely defrauded.  Most Americans are not mechanics and need an expert to tell us what's wrong.  How was she supposed to know he was lying?  Judge Judy acted as if the mechanic were a layperson.  Diagnostic fees are not inexpensive and people can't afford to get second, third and fourth opinions from various mechanics.

When the plaintiff's husband testified, I believe he said that they had consulted other people previously and that all of the opinions on the condition of the car concurred with that of the defendant. A direct contradiction of the story she had fed JJ.

 

So there was no fraud involved, just a silly and overinflated attachment to a pile of metal with an internal combustion engine.

[AngelaHunter]

So there was no fraud involved, just a silly and overinflated attachment to a pile of metal with an internal combustion engine.

 

Exactly. If someone told me my car should be junked and offered me an amount of money for it, I'd either get another opinion, or take the deal. If I took the deal, then what the buyer does with it afterwards is none of my business. I might kick myself if I then saw it tooling around town, but that's too bad for me since I, like the plaintiff, am a mature person of least normal intelligence who made a decision.

 

Everything unpleasant that happens in a life isn't always someone else's fault.

[Oinky Boinky]

Everything unpleasant that happens in a life isn't always someone else's fault.

 

Or as I am sure we have often said here and perhaps JJ herself 'not everything is a lawsuit'

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

The daughter annoyed the hell out of me also. She is my dream litigant though because my favorite thing in the universe is to watch stupid people have to just shut the hell up.

You have read my mind - this is the reason I continue to watch JJ. I once read how she watches the litigants on close-circuit before they go out while she's in her chambers so she knows how to handle them and this was a perfect case. I was waiting for the daughter's overinflated head to pop right off.

[Ouisch]

Our weekend rerun included the case of the 69-year-old man who was a long-time "friend" of the defendant's mother. The defendant was named Rebekah (I believe), and the plaintiff had loaned her money for a deposit on an apartment. But he cut off communication with her after she chased him out into the parking lot of the restaurant where she worked as a server and chastised him for leaving a measly $4 tip. Anyone remember this case, and the names of the litigants? I clicked "erase" accidentally; I'd meant to jot down the names and see if I could find out anything further on the participants. They were both just all sorts of creepy.

[AngelaHunter]

Alas, poor Allen: Forbidden to use the word "like" in his reply, he was rendered mute. He did, however, introduce a new word for the JJ Dictionary, and that word was "awared", as in, "She awared me...."

 

But none of that really mattered, since he had no idea of the definition of the word, "responsibility." It's not really his fault, since it seems that Mommy and Daddy are not familiar with that word either.

 

Stay in school, Allen.

[augmentedfourth]

Oh god, poor Allen indeed. That was one of the most awkward things I've ever seen on JJ, and that's saying a lot. I can't decide whether to feel bad for the kid, or to cackle at his embarrassment right alongside with JJ, because she was totally right.

 

Excuse me. She was, like, totally right.

[SandyToes]

Um, I like, um, basically LIKED "She awared me", like, um, ya' know?

Sheesh.  I did feel a little tiny bit sorry for him, since he will be at school this week reliving this. heh.

 

This morning's reruns also added to the lexicon - I learned (was awared? awareded? ) that having an open window might lead to "lo' monia."  Watched it a couple times to read her lips. Yep. Lo' monia. Shut yer winders, y'all.

[27bored]

Rita Dugan, the lady who sued her ex-boyfriend for a ring, an assault, and something else I don't know, looked like Clay Matthews in 30 years if he decides to start doing drag shows.

 

I felt bad for Allen. I think JJ was picking on him. He seemed like a sweet kid who was just nervous and stumbling over his words. And, well, it would seem to me they couldn't prove him and his friend broke the recliner, so why is he "responsible" for it? Sometimes I wonder if JJ isn't fucking with her karma. I know she's filthy stinking rich and thus doesn't have to care about the problems of the common man, but I...don't think it's right to be mean to people. Not even for entertainment.

[AngelaHunter]

that having an open window might lead to "lo' monia."

 

How could I have forgotten that? This is not to be confused with "Limonia", who was once a litigant.

 

When JJ said, "I don't care about your sister's pneumonia!" I was heartbroken that she didn't say "la'monia" too.

[Quof]

I felt bad for Allen. I think JJ was picking on him. He seemed like a sweet kid who was just nervous and stumbling over his words. And, well, it would seem to me they couldn't prove him and his friend broke the recliner, so why is he "responsible" for it?

 

Nah, those little Church Youth Group hooligans totally broke the chair.   You know, I know it, God knows it.   Stern Daddy, however, is not entitled to replacement value of a 3 year old chair.   If it can't be fixed, he's entitled to actual cash value, not replacement.  Just like if I damage your car beyond repair, I don't have to buy you a brand new car.  

[BubblingKettle]

I couldn't find any sympathy for Alan.  He's not aware of his own size --- an elementary schooler (much smaller than the lanky Alan) would run the risk of breaking a recliner after hurling himself on top of a reclined person.  Alan was being too hyper and obnoxious for his Temple's youth group, and Recliner Dad was NOT amused.  He deserved that money for a new La-Z-Boy.  The best part of that case was Byrd's face when JJ was pointing out that Alan was rendered silent after being told to define "responsible" without using the word "like."  Byrd's jaw actually dropped.

 

And I was wishing that Byrd had a KMart Blue Book next to his Kelly Blue Book.  Rough-looking Rita Dugan claims her KMart necklace was over $175?  That sounds a bit steep.  She surely had that number at the ready...but how about the paperwork proving that your sad-eyed daughter was assaulted? "...oh, I don't know.  There was just too much paperwork at home.  I don't have it."  Oh please.  If you're going to make shit up, Rita, don't pick stories that require documented proof.  And "it was a ring to wear when we was together."--- Rita, NO!  Judge Judy does not like when people play-act like they are married.  "It's just a ring!" barked JJ when Rita said it was an engagement ring/wedding band.  I liked when she said in the hallterview that the ring was in and out of the pawn shop frequently.  Those folks were just messy.  

[AngelaHunter]

Rough-looking Rita Dugan claims her KMart necklace was over $175?  That sounds a bit steep.

 

The paperwork! The mountains of paperwork to replace her K-Mart jewelry was so overwhelming she forgot to bring the evidence of her darling daughter's injuries, inflicted by her charming former beau. She didn't forget to dig up a low-cut dress to display - to our chagrin - her large and sagging breasts. JFC, cover that shit up, Rita. You look like a burly, hard-ridden, long distance truck driver with a dyed blonde helmet and aging implants. Don't these people own mirrors?

[Brattinella]

Dying here.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

 

Um, I like, um, basically LIKED "She awared me", like, um, ya' know?

Sheesh.  I did feel a little tiny bit sorry for him, since he will be at school this week reliving this. heh

I'm afraid poor Alan's friends will not, like, know the difference. They are all probably taking selfies of themselves standing next to the TV set with, like, Alan in the background. That would be, like, whenever they were awared of when the show would be on. 

[augmentedfourth]

I think -- and someone correct me if I'm wrong -- that JJ said something along the lines of prices for the recliner (and whatever was attached to it) had likely gone up, so the guy probably wouldn't be able to get the same exact thing for the money he initially spent. In other words, even if Like, Allen was required to pay the full amount that the recliner owner had originally paid, the recliner owner would still be taking a loss if he went to get the same recliner.

 

Or, like, whatever. I just know it's not my RESPONSIBILITY.

[Bazinga]

 

Anyone remember this case, and the names of the litigants? I clicked "erase" accidentally; I'd meant to jot down the names and see if I could find out anything further on the participants. They were both just all sorts of creepy.

Harvey Grusky, Palm Springs, CA and Rebekah Norris, Santa Barbara, CA

[EtheltoTillie]

Nah, those little Church Youth Group hooligans totally broke the chair.   You know, I know it, God knows it.   Stern Daddy, however, is not entitled to replacement value of a 3 year old chair.   If it can't be fixed, he's entitled to actual cash value, not replacement.  Just like if I damage your car beyond repair, I don't have to buy you a brand new car.  

I came here to post about this same idea.  I was astounded.  Judge Millian always tells people they don't get replacement value--she does her "rough justice."  I can't say I can remember a similar case on JJ where this concept would have been applied.   But what if it were a twenty-year-old recliner?  And for cars, JJ uses the Kelly Blue Book, which gives present value. 

 

I still appreciated JJ's toying with the the boy about the use of the word like.  Mean, but a thing of beauty.

Edited December 16, 2014 by GussieK

[Intocats]

Oh god, poor Allen indeed. That was one of the most awkward things I've ever seen on JJ, and that's saying a lot. I can't decide whether to feel bad for the kid, or to cackle at his embarrassment right alongside with JJ, because she was totally right.

 

Excuse me. She was, like, totally right.

That was awkward, indeed. All the "likes" and "awared me" aside, it did my wrinkled old heart good to see two respectful, well-behaved teenagers with nary a piercing in sight. No drugs or alcohol at their party!

 

And their names! Alan and Sharon (not Hunter or Britynee) could have stepped right out of my high school yearbook.

 

I have no idea why JJ seemed to dislike Alan so much. Maybe he reminded her of the boy who didn't invite her to the prom!

[EtheltoTillie]

The paperwork! The mountains of paperwork to replace her K-Mart jewelry was so overwhelming she forgot to bring the evidence of her darling daughter's injuries, inflicted by her charming former beau. She didn't forget to dig up a low-cut dress to display - to our chagrin - her large and sagging breasts. JFC, cover that shit up, Rita. You look like a burly, hard-ridden, long distance truck driver with a dyed blonde helmet and aging implants. Don't these people own mirrors?

I didn't see this episode, but this description is hilarious.  Wish I had.  I guess it was one of the reruns.  I don't DVR the reruns each day.  Maybe I should start, just in case it's one worth rewatching.

[EtheltoTillie]

What i understood was that the recliner was $600(?) But then they added an extender to it which brought the price up to $900. That's what alan had to pay.

I don't know what an extender is. Can somebody define it for me without using the word 'like'?

I caught a glimpse of the picture they were holding up.  It seemed to be part of a sectional sofa--have you seen one of those types?  When it's not reclining, it just looks like a sofa, but the end portion can recline like a La-Z-Boy.  The extender was apparently the attachment that held it to the rest of the sofa.

Edited December 16, 2014 by GussieK

[AngelaHunter]

I didn't see this episode, but this description is hilarious.  Wish I had.

 

Really, I didn't do Rita justice. She had  the grammar to go with her appearance. It was all just too perfect.

[teebax]

I came here to post about this same idea.  I was astounded.  Judge Millian always tells people they don't get replacement value--she does her "rough justice."  I can't say I can remember a similar case on JJ where this concept would have been applied.   But what if it were a twenty-year-old recliner?  And for cars, JJ uses the Kelly Blue Book, which gives present value. 

 

I still appreciated JJ's toying with the the boy about the use of the word like.  Mean, but a thing of beauty.

I was confused by the award as well. I can't remember ever seeing a litigant win replacement cost instead of the value at the time of the loss. Why would it cost more now? I didn't really get it.

Her torturing the kid over the word 'like' made this former English teacher very happy.

[EtheltoTillie]

Thank u, GussieK.

But i must point out that you did use the word 'like.' Twice! ;-)

Bwahahah . . .

 

Her torturing the kid over the word 'like' made this former English teacher very happy.

It made this former copy editor happy too.  I have to say, though, that it is difficult to define the word responsibility without using the word.  That was his difficulty--you could really see the wheels turning.

Edited December 16, 2014 by GussieK

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

What i understood was that the recliner was $600(?) But then they added an extender to it which brought the price up to $900. That's what alan had to pay.

I was wondering if the recliner had some kind of modification - like those recliners with the motor that push the person up when they can't get up on their own. I can understand the full price if it's part of a set. Can you imagine having a sectional with one part that looks different? 

[Mindymoo]

The paperwork! The mountains of paperwork to replace her K-Mart jewelry was so overwhelming she forgot to bring the evidence of her darling daughter's injuries, inflicted by her charming former beau. She didn't forget to dig up a low-cut dress to display - to our chagrin - her large and sagging breasts. JFC, cover that shit up, Rita. You look like a burly, hard-ridden, long distance truck driver with a dyed blonde helmet and aging implants. Don't these people own mirrors?

That case was hilarious. However, did anyone else think her teenage daughter who was "assaulted" looked like she had fetal alcohol syndrome?

[khyber]

And their names! Alan and Sharon (not Hunter or Britynee) could have stepped right out of my high school yearbook.

 

So I'm not the only one who was struck by the seemingly "normal" old school names.

Bwahahah . . .

 

It made this former copy editor happy too.  I have to say, though, that it is difficult to define the word responsibility without using the word.  That was his difficulty--you could really see the wheels turning.

Yup, Mr. Khyber and I were trying to define it without using the word and we had no luck.

[Milz]

Alas, poor Allen: Forbidden to use the word "like" in his reply, he was rendered mute. He did, however, introduce a new word for the JJ Dictionary, and that word was "awared", as in, "She awared me...."

 

But none of that really mattered, since he had no idea of the definition of the word, "responsibility." It's not really his fault, since it seems that Mommy and Daddy are not familiar with that word either.

 

Stay in school, Allen.

 

My mom was howling with laughter at "awared".

 

K-Mart jewelry was hilarious: Plaintiff and Daughter set up a sting at the K-Mart because the cops are too busy.......Sheesh!

[SandyToes]

Okay, I too, missed the K-Mart Special Episode, and am dying to see it. If anyone has it, maybe we could arrange a group viewing. We could all meet under the blue light and go shopping afterwards. It sounds like a classic. The recaps have been great - and very visual.  So thanks for that!!

 

Re: Alan and the chair, the mom in me is feeling a little more kindly toward him after finding it difficult to offer a definition myself, but the teacher in me did enjoy the "like" smackdown.  As for the cost, 3 years old for a recliner is still pretty new (at least in my house) and as mentioned, if part of a sectional/set  nearly impossible to replace. But I was also surprised at being awarded (not to be confused with "awareded") the full amount. Sometimes her judgements seem odd, but that's her discretion, and who knows what other tidbits she has we don't know about.

 

Loved the info about the closed circuit TV - that explains a lot!

Edited December 16, 2014 by SandyToes

[AngelaHunter]

I have to say, though, that it is difficult to define the word responsibility without using the word.

 

I was thinking one might say, "I will be accountable for my actions and not try to blame others for whatever results from those actions."(?)

[Mindymoo]

I was thinking one might say, "I will be accountable for my actions and not try to blame others for whatever results from those actions."(?)

Or, "If you do something wrong/damage someone's property, you own up to what you did."

[Rick Kitchen]

Man, a rerun this morning where the smarmiest defendant ever smugged his way through the entire case when he was being sued for not paying rent and stealing a mattress when he moved out.  The plaintiff had him arrested for stealing the mattress and he said, "I make $100,000 a year, why do I need to steal a mattress?" and "I bailed out in under an hour because I had the bail on me in cash."  I wanted to punch him something bad.

[AngelaHunter]

So yeah, like, I'd give the fuzzy-brained dipshit Cole McNamara 850$ so he could play at being a dirt bike racer. At first I thought the plaintiff was a cougar but was shocked to see that she's 19 years old. She looked at least 30, IMO, but I was happy to hear her say in her halterview that she won't lend money anymore.

 

Loved the rerun with Andrew Giles. Andrew, who is a freakish looking 30 year old paper boy troll with a bowl haircut, is arrogant! He got a woman to not only be his girlfriend, but to give him money for his 2005 DODGE NEON repairs. Hot car, Andrew. Wtf is going on in the world? Why would a seemingly intelligent and rational woman give Andrew money?  Anyone?

[27bored]

Nah, those little Church Youth Group hooligans totally broke the chair.   You know, I know it, God knows it.   Stern Daddy, however, is not entitled to replacement value of a 3 year old chair.   If it can't be fixed, he's entitled to actual cash value, not replacement.  Just like if I damage your car beyond repair, I don't have to buy you a brand new car.

 

I...don't think he did. She asked for less proof than usual in that case. I doubt he jumped on the kid sitting in the chair so hard that he irretrievably broke the chair.

 

That said, I do agree with you that they should not have been paid to replace the entire chair.

 

The case where the mother sued her son was...whatever. Boring. Stop arguing with the judge, bitch.

 

The case with The Wild And Wonderful Whites of West Virginia was a cotton-picking mess. I believe they moved that girl in from her grandmaw's house to have an extendo three-way setup. I think that girl was paying in coochie coupons. I know because I've been there.

 

The last case -- here we go again. Dumpy chick loans good-looking guy money who winds up screwing her over. She sued him, but she'd probably still let him hit if he played his cards right. Damn I need to start lying to women...it seems to work! I remember this one time I posted a picture of myself on HotorNot (...this was back in the day) and I got an 8.7! I could've been out here pimping and making bank. Now I'm just tricking and making bunk. Ain't that a blip?

[27bored]

Loved the rerun with Andrew Giles. Andrew, who is a freakish looking 30 year old paper boy troll with a bowl haircut, is arrogant! He got a woman to not only be his girlfriend, but to give him money for his 2005 DODGE NEON repairs. Hot car, Andrew. Wtf is going on in the world? Why would a seemingly intelligent and rational woman give Andrew money?  Anyone?

 

Girl! I just remember this motherfucker. First of all, no you're not trying to get hard with somebody with that damn Lloyd Christmas ass haircut. Second, don't give me all these baby dick answers all "I don't think you're not listening, your honor". She was actually not being a bitch to him...before he deserved it.

[iwasish]

I didn't take away that she disliked Alan. I think she knew he knew, (and admitted he knew) that something happened to the chair, and that he was responsible. But he avoided taking responsibility by not saying anything. He was a nice kid but he screwed up,she called him on it and hopefully he will step up next time he screws up and take responsibility.

[califred]

The carnival clan from West Va was um a doozy. I too assumed there was a three way situation going on with them.

[BubblingKettle]

Man, a rerun this morning where the smarmiest defendant ever smugged his way through the entire case when he was being sued for not paying rent and stealing a mattress when he moved out.  The plaintiff had him arrested for stealing the mattress and he said, "I make $100,000 a year, why do I need to steal a mattress?" and "I bailed out in under an hour because I had the bail on me in cash."  I wanted to punch him something bad.

That guy was so smug...I also wish you could have punched him.  And he had the NERVE to correct Judge Judy's pronunciation of his name!  Like she said, "Eitha way, you're a hustla."  If Little Mr. Moneybags was so rich and interested in flaunting it, he would avoided court by paying off the landlady just to make her stop complaining.  That's what rich people do about quibbles over piddling sums of money, you smug jerk.

 

Oh, and today's case....I looked over at the screen and said, "Good Lord, they're either carnies or from The Dark Crystal."  Bingo: they revealed that they were temps at a carnival.  And they claimed that they "was goin' to college online" but living in a dorm.  Maybe it was a clown college.  Otherwise, that whole sitch sounds fishy.  Then, there was Miss Cutter in her sassy boots....she went from inhabiting a tent in the woods to... 

 

an extendo three-way setup

...to living with her cousin and sporting flashy kicks in court.   But, guys, she loved karaoke the whole time!  Inspiring.  And now her cousin (who claimed to be a nurse) said that Miss Cutter tags along with her to work and "helps me."  'Scuse me?  That chick is just drifting through life, going from one karaoke bar to the next.

[califred]

Wait you just reminded me her cousin said something about getting her work with her. If she were an actual nurse that would not be possible. I'm guessing she's a home health aid.

[BubblingKettle]

Wait you just reminded me her cousin said something about getting her work with her. If she were an actual nurse that would not be possible. I'm guessing she's a home health aid.

Exactly. It would be a HIPAA violation...and just plain creepy to have Miss Cutter hovering over patients (or their files).  I think the cousin is one of those folks who throws around the term "nurse" but doesn't have the education and licensure to back it up.  You're right - she's probably a home health aide...when it's my time, I think I'll choose to go into assisted living rather than have those misfits trample through my house.  

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

I looked at the defendant's age on purpose - she's 19 - pretty unlikely she had been through the required college by that age (at least 3-4 years) to become a nurse. Plus she didn't quite look like she might have the brainpower to be an actual nurse