All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[Toaster Strudel]

The dog cases are for me! They're my favorites.

Edited April 9, 2016 by Toaster Strudel

[Spunkygal]

Hey Toaster! Obviously neither of us won the meet JJ essay contest on FB. It was rigged, I tell you!

[stephinmn]

How did I know that when siblings were squabbling over very expensive season tickets, it would be for the Minnesota Wild? And in Saint Paul, no less. His wife seemed...normal? I can not even imagine coming home to that guy. He seems like he is hiding explosives.

[lovesnark]

The dog cases are for me! They're my favorites.

I don't mind the dog cases, either. JJ is very hip to leash laws and I love her telling idiots that they're responsible when they let their dog try to eat someone or someone else's dog. It's fun to listen to them stammer and blubber that their dog is the nicest dog in the world and it's not their fault that their friend left the gate open so the dog was running loose all over the neighborhood. Living on a small farm, I particularly like the dog/livestock cases. My neighbor's dog ran away from them AGAIN last week and got into the pasture with my rams. I was so hoping the boys would pummel it but, they just watched it run around in circles yapping at them. This is the same stupid woman that wanted me to pay the vet bills when her dog got into the pasture with my donkeys. The donks kicked the shit out of it and I laughed at her when she asked me to pay the bill. I feel sorry for the dog. It has stupid owners and it's going to get shot by someone who finds it chasing their livestock or hit by a car.

[Zahdii]

My ex father in law owned a small ranch (about 120 acres) for about 20 years.  He told a story about a neighbor that came by one day to see if he could borrow a rifle to shoot a dog that kept getting in and chasing his cattle.  FIL loaned him the gun, and the next day the man returned the gun.  FIL asked him if he'd got the dog, and the man looked embarrassed and gestured to the back of his pickup.  In it was the body of FIL's dog!  It seemed that whenever FIL went into the house for meals or left the ranch for his other job, the dog would pass the time harassing other ranchers cattle.  FIL had no reason to suspect that his dog was a problem because it never bothered the family cattle, and apparently ran home as soon as FIL made an appearance.

 

So the neighbor was apologizing for shooting his dog, while FIL was apologizing for letting his dog chase cattle.  It could have developed bad blood between them, but FIL was just happy his dog hadn't run the cattle through a fence or caused other (expensive) damage, and the neighbor was relieved that the owner of the dog wasn't mad at losing his pet. 

 

It's sad that the dog lost its life, but I still chuckle a bit at the thought of two grown men standing there wondering if the other was going to start some kind of neighborhood war, and their mutual relief that everyone was going to be mature about the situation.  As he was leaving, the neighbor said "I didn't even know you had a dog, or I would have talked to you first.  I was just going to bury the dog, but my wife recognized it from a couple of times when she visited your wife, and she insisted I let you know why your dog disappeared.  I feel pretty bad that I had to borrow a gun from you and ended up using it to shoot your dog."

 

Imagine if the two men were more like the typical JJ litigants.  One guy would be suing for lost weight on the cattle, and blame any cows who failed to get pregnant or lost a pregnancy, on the stress of being chased.  The other would be pissed that his own gun was used to kill the dog, and would insist it was probably lured over to the other guy's property for the sole purpose of shooting the animal, and the whole thing was a trumped up scenario to get money and revenge for some perceived slight.  They'd both show up in court with angry, tearful wives, and both sue for damages and emotional distress.

Edited April 9, 2016 by Zahdii

[goodbyeglittergirl]

I don't really understand how JJ episodes air, because oftentimes you guys describe episodes that didn't air here. But I had to mention the episode that aired here yesterday, where a dog killed chickens multiple times. At one point the chicken owners were trying to remember how many were killed and started listing them by name..."Buffy, Lara Croft, Katniss..." 

 

This amused me so much. I was all PLEASE have a chicken named Judge Judy, PLEASE have a chicken named Judge Judy - but evidently they did not. 

[designing1]

I didn't see JJ yesterday, but I remember the chicken episode...and being impressed at how composed the audience remained when they started reeling off those names. I would have been laughing my ass off, and would have gotten a JJ staredown, if not an "OUT!"

[Brattinella]

I don't really understand how JJ episodes air, because oftentimes you guys describe episodes that didn't air here. But I had to mention the episode that aired here yesterday, where a dog killed chickens multiple times. At one point the chicken owners were trying to remember how many were killed and started listing them by name..."Buffy, Lara Croft, Katniss..." 

 

This amused me so much. I was all PLEASE have a chicken named Judge Judy, PLEASE have a chicken named Judge Judy - but evidently they did not. 

 

I have a soft spot for folks who raise farm animals, and these chicken owners are adorable!  No way would they ever eat them!  They would probably have an urn on the mantel. 

On the other hand, i LOATHED the dog lady.  Looking down her nose and openly MOCKING the chicken's owners.  Glad she had to pay something, maybe she will get it in her thick skull that SHE needs to build a better fence and keep her dog INSIDE IT!

[Zahdii]

This amused me so much. I was all PLEASE have a chicken named Judge Judy, PLEASE have a chicken named Judge Judy - but evidently they did not. 

 

If they did have a Judge Judy chicken, it probably got up out of the way and clucked "slackuh!" at killer dog, before instructing the Mr. Byrd chicken to throw it out.

[configdotsys]

I think we need a reality show starring Patricia Bean and the VFW lady that called that organization's president a slut. They could be a Statler and Waldorf-like duo.

I have the Bean episode saved on my DVR, but lost all of my other eps when the cable box toasted itself. No more VFW, no more cheeseballs and no more Horvats. There were others but those three are like the Honus Wagner cards of episodes to me.

[SRTouch]

I have a soft spot for folks who raise farm animals, and these chicken owners are adorable!  No way would they ever eat them!  They would probably have an urn on the mantel. 

On the other hand, i LOATHED the dog lady.  Looking down her nose and openly MOCKING the chicken's owners.  Glad she had to pay something, maybe she will get it in her thick skull that SHE needs to build a better fence and keep her dog INSIDE IT!

Well, I didn't watch this time around, but I remember it from before. I remember JJ trying to educate the woman that these chickens were loved by these people, not just livestock. As I remember, in court the woman told JJ that she realized the chicken owners loved their pets, then in the hallterview dog lady didn't understand why there was such a fuss over chickens. IIRC, dog lady's adult daughter decides to come up and speak her piece, and JJ tells her to sit down and shut it, nobody invited her to talk.

[Brattinella]

I could not understand the huffy "I'm a single mom with a 6-yr old child, and..."  What the HELL does that have to do with the price of tea in China?

[Rick Kitchen]

I have a soft spot for folks who raise farm animals, and these chicken owners are adorable!  No way would they ever eat them!  They would probably have an urn on the mantel. 

On the other hand, i LOATHED the dog lady.  Looking down her nose and openly MOCKING the chicken's owners.  Glad she had to pay something, maybe she will get it in her thick skull that SHE needs to build a better fence and keep her dog INSIDE IT!

 

Was this the case where the dog owners said the only reason their dog got out was because a burglar must have broken into their house, didn't steal anything, but let the dog out?

[AngelaHunter]

Quote

I could not understand the huffy "I'm a single mom with a 6-yr old child, and..."

 

I assume she was waiting for a choir of angels to sing "Hallelujah" and a heaven ray of light to shine upon her, a sainted single mother, thus absolving her of any wrongdoing. The way they always announce "I'm a single mother", you'd think the conception was immaculate and that they'd never spread for some loser who dumped them.

Edited April 10, 2016 by AngelaHunter

[savannah1985]

Who is Patricia Bean?

[configdotsys]

Who is Patricia Bean?

She is an old lady who is the neighborhood psycho. Apparently, a heavyset lady on crutches decided to slash her wrists with an Exacto knife. Bean did not have a cell phone because she doesnt know how to use them so she asked a neighbor to call 911. The neighbor was some kind of health aide or something and saw that the wounds were not life threatening so she was not all panicked and freaking out. Ms. Bean took that as an inappropriate reaction from the neighbor and she smashed the neighbors phone. She called the neighbor to the street to fight her. A real nutcase. She also claimed the police all lied in their report and when it was clear she was guilty of smashing the phone began attacking the plaintiff by telling JJ to ask her how many men she's been with. What a kook.

[AngelaHunter]

Who is Patricia Bean?

 

She also informed JJ that plaintiff "Is just a slut." and demanded she ask her how many men she'd had.

[Trini]

And Patricia Bean's 9-year-old granddaughter was present for the incident.

Edited April 10, 2016 by Trini

[AngelaHunter]

And Patricia Bean's 9-year-old granddaughter was present for the incident.

 

Yeah. Nice, but i have a feeling the girl has heard much worse than that from the vicious harridan.

[Mondrianyone]

Well, persistence pays off!  We've had an average of one new episode a week in our market for what feels like months now, and the situation was desperate enough to send me hunting once again for the legendary Patricia Bean episode online.  And what do you know--I found it!  You all have not been overstating the greatness.  Like a warm bath of looniness . . .

[DoctorK]

 

And what do you know--I found it!

Do you have a link? I have searched in vain. Even a season and episode number might help.

[Mondrianyone]

If you send me a PM reminding me you want the link, I'll send it to you.  I feel a little leery about posting it on the board, since I'm not totally sure if that sort of thing is kosher.  Also I worry that the minute I post it, it'll disappear, and people will think I was hallucinating.  Patricia Bean would be a scary thing to hallucinate.

 

The video stopped to buffer a couple of times, and I had to refresh it, but it was way better than most.  Quality was excellent.

[Bazinga]

Found a transcript of the episode here (the date given is September 8, 2015):

 

http://tv.ark.com/transcript/judge_judy/5/KPIX/Tuesday_September_8_2015/914941/

Edited April 11, 2016 by Bazinga

[ClareWalks]

Watching today's first case, with the son as the defendant...that kid can NOT tie a tie. Holy shit, it is distractingly bad. 

[Brattinella]

Well, it appears that JJ is pre-empted today by tornado warnings, etc.  Not close enough to my town, but we all still need to know about it.  If anyone could please recap today?  Please?

[SRTouch]

Well, it appears that JJ is pre-empted today by tornado warnings, etc.  Not close enough to my town, but we all still need to know about it.  If anyone could please recap today?  Please?

Ah well, at least there's a reason to preempt programing and talk about these storms, large tennis ball sized hail, damaging winds, and the tornado warning moving across counties. Folks in the path of these storms actually need to be warned. Not sure it was necessary last night when they preempted an hour and a half of Elementary.

I'm glad we're back to normal stormy spring time weather after the years of drought. Anyway, no recap from me, neighbor, all we see here in Lawton is storms to our south. Hope none of the circulation they're seeing on radar developed further.

[Brattinella]

I do know that these kinds of interruptions are necessary and desirable; but I'm with you that last night it was really OTT.  I missed out on my traditional Sunday night PBS-fest, usually British shows.  Hope you and yours stay safe tonight!

[AuntiePam]

Well, it appears that JJ is pre-empted today by tornado warnings, etc.  Not close enough to my town, but we all still need to know about it.  If anyone could please recap today?  Please?

 

It was a colossal bore, and confusing.  Plaintiffs (a married couple) sued a friend of their son.  Friend purchased jewelry for his girlfriend, using the son's credit card.  He repaid some of the money but still owed $180.  The parents paid off the card, to protect their son's credit rating.

 

What made it confusing was that friend was on son's car insurance policy.  (Is that even possible?  Unrelated people sharing auto insurance?)  Anyway, friend said that he'd paid son three months in advance on the car insurance ($285), but that son cancelled the insurance when he got rid of his car.  Friend said that the $285 he paid son for insurance that he didn't get had "wiped out" the debt for the jewelry.

 

JJ got son on the phone.  Son said his friend never paid him $285.  JJ gave the plaintiff some money -- I don't remember how much.

 

The second case was a plaintiff landlord and steak-eating defendants -- a couple who had sublet a room and owed some rent.  They wanted all their rent back because the lessee/landlord hadn't paid her rent for a month, and they wanted money for harassing textesses.  JJ gave the plaintiff the rent that the couple owed.  Interesting only if you were curious about a funny wart/mole/sign of the devil on defendant's forehead.

[Brattinella]

It was a colossal bore, and confusing.  Plaintiffs (a married couple) sued a friend of their son.  Friend purchased jewelry for his girlfriend, using the son's credit card.  He repaid some of the money but still owed $180.  The parents paid off the card, to protect their son's credit rating.

 

What made it confusing was that friend was on son's car insurance policy.  (Is that even possible?  Unrelated people sharing auto insurance?)  Anyway, friend said that he'd paid son three months in advance on the car insurance ($285), but that son cancelled the insurance when he got rid of his car.  Friend said that the $285 he paid son for insurance that he didn't get had "wiped out" the debt for the jewelry.

 

JJ got son on the phone.  Son said his friend never paid him $285.  JJ gave the plaintiff some money -- I don't remember how much.

 

The second case was a plaintiff landlord and steak-eating defendants -- a couple who had sublet a room and owed some rent.  They wanted all their rent back because the lessee/landlord hadn't paid her rent for a month, and they wanted money for harassing textesses.  JJ gave the plaintiff the rent that the couple owed.  Interesting only if you were curious about a funny wart/mole/sign of the devil on defendant's forehead.

 

Thank you for this!  I sort of remember the car insurance case, and I THINK I remember Judge Judy using the word "fraud" in regards to non-related folks on the policy.

[AngelaHunter]

It was a colossal bore, and confusing.  Plaintiffs (a married couple) sued a friend of their son.

 

The only interesting things, IMO, was the somewhat sociopathic, straight-faced lies that "Dylan" the Hobbit calmly spewed out, and looking at his rather frightening mommy.

 

Interesting only if you were curious about a funny wart/mole/sign of the devil on defendant's forehead.

 

I lost track of the case as I tried to puzzle out What Is on Jaquan's Head? I never figured it out. And nope, neither defendants have a clue as to how that giant hole got punched/smashed into the wall. One of life's little mysteries, but all the same, give them all their money back because they're morally outraged that plaintiff didn't pay her rent.

[AuntiePam]

Thank you for this!  I sort of remember the car insurance case, and I THINK I remember Judge Judy using the word "fraud" in regards to non-related folks on the policy.

 

This was a new episode, and JJ didn't mention fraud -- didn't even question two young men being on the same policy.  I thought it was kinda weird, unless they were joint owners of a vehicle.

Edited April 12, 2016 by AuntiePam

[Guest]

Well, it appears that JJ is pre-empted today by tornado warnings, etc. Not close enough to my town, but we all still need to know about it. If anyone could please recap today? Please?

I'm almost envious of tornado warnings. Surely they were a lot more interesting than the snooze fest JJ offered up.

I think once they got done with Patricia "SLUT!" Bean's case in the beginning of the season they called it a day, decided nothing would ever top it, and couldn't be bothered to find another interesting case again.

[27bored]

Yeah, if I recall Patricia Bean was like if Flo from Alice was cast in the latest season of Love & Hip Hop. Instead of saying kiss my grits, she'd keep it real and say there bitch!

[AngelaHunter]

If anyone could please recap today? Please?

 

I would, but Giant MIsfit is right - such a snoozefest I forgot them already. In fact I forgot them five minutes after they finished. Rent, a loan, damaged property and... Ooops, nearly fell asleep again.

[Rick Kitchen]

Rerun this morning had JJ on one of her "Ah-move!" rants.  The woman had a one year lease and she had called the city on the landlord because of unhealthy conditions and he evicted her even after the city told him the conditions were unhealthy.  Judy kept yelling at her, "Ah-move!"  She was on a one year lease.  Does JJ really think that somebody can pick up and move in the middle of a lease without repercussions?

[Brattinella]

Rerun this morning had JJ on one of her "Ah-move!" rants.  The woman had a one year lease and she had called the city on the landlord because of unhealthy conditions and he evicted her even after the city told him the conditions were unhealthy.  Judy kept yelling at her, "Ah-move!"  She was on a one year lease.  Does JJ really think that somebody can pick up and move in the middle of a lease without repercussions?

 

She just doesn't get it, that Mr and Mrs John Q Public DON'T have 100 million dollars in the bank, like she does! Ah-Move, does not work if you are living check to check like most folks. I'm really beginning to hate her sometimes.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

Do you have a link? I have searched in vain. Even a season and episode number might help.

Certainly (said ala Three Stooges style) - Here's your Patricia Bean hook-up

 

Episode 5448 Original Air date 09/08/2015

 

Suicide Attempt Turned Neighborhood Feud!  An elderly woman accuses a neighbor of lacking empathy after she witnesses a suicide attempt. 

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

Today was (snooore) reruns of the Kid Named Bracey (HA!) who broke his neck while driving his GF's mother's car DRUNK. The mother was such a piece of work. Acting all uppity and haughty when she let her daughter's mess of a boyfriend live in the house IN HER BEDROOM. (uh, note to parents - if you don't want to allow your kids to do or have something, don't allow them to do it and then act all "Well, I disapproved, harrumph, harrumph". I've raised two teenage daughters and after a while it's ironically humorous to tell them "no" and watch them beg, plead and whine. The payoff is when they grow up and have their own kids and suddenly I've become Confucius sitting on the mountain giving wise advice while stroking my beard (well, I plucked all those chin hairs out lol)  And the dumb daughter had to correct the kid by saying they were drinking "hard liquor". Geeze Louise, what a dummeh (ala Fred Sanford style)

 

And I also got the mom with the anxiety ridden daughter who was enamored of Giant Bat Boy. Listen lady, don't let people move in with your semi-unstable daughter so you can go to Europe and then bitch about it later. 

 

Why do people do things anyway if they think it isn't a good idea? I'm guessing it's sour grapes or they think they are OWED something. 

[SRTouch]

Rerun this morning had JJ on one of her "Ah-move!" rants. The woman had a one year lease and she had called the city on the landlord because of unhealthy conditions and he evicted her even after the city told him the conditions were unhealthy. Judy kept yelling at her, "Ah-move!" She was on a one year lease. Does JJ really think that somebody can pick up and move in the middle of a lease without repercussions?

Agreed - way to many of us live from paycheck to paycheck. Even assuming you can get out of a lease, you may not have enough to cash for move in costs, utilities yada yada never mind the time to take off work to look for a new place and physically move. You may end up moving into a dump because it looks better than where you were before, and then once in the place you realise it's worse than you thought.

I didn't see this case, so don't know the story. As for the eviction in this case, I'd want to know why the tenant was evicted. Did landlord make up reason to evict tenant in retaliation for unjustified complaints? Was place actually so bad it was deemed unhealthy and city condemed it? If so, landlord would have no choice but to kick out the tenant. Was tenant living rent free while making complaints? Oh so many unanswered questions that I can't talk rationally about the case.

Edited April 12, 2016 by SRTouch

[Brattinella]

Glad to see you are alive and kicking, SRTouch.  Softball hail is nothing nice!

[SRTouch]

Glad to see you are alive and kicking, SRTouch.  Softball hail is nothing nice!

Yep, no damage here from this round, but we saw lots on hail damage on the news. I complained about the weather interrupting broadcasts, but really I just meant I hate when they preempt something and then just drone on and on about the same thing. I swear Sunday they spent an hour and a half on the same storm without even updating the radar screen more than a couple times. The bad thing is that it was a bad storm for awhile, which caused some damage, but I changed the channel because they kept repeating the same thing. Had a new storm popped up, I would have missed any warning - and of course I might need that warning living in a trailer.

[AngelaHunter]

Does JJ really think that somebody can pick up and move in the middle of a lease without repercussions?

 

The apartment was so terrible and so horrible that she moved in anyway and stayed for 11 months, deciding it was so horrible she would stop paying rent only AFTER she was told to leave. She wasn't evicted - it was a month to month lease and she could have left any time (which is why JJ told her to move if it was so awful) - she and her healthy-looking 26 year old, grown man son who insinuated he and Mommy were somehow held captive there by... brain waves, hynosis? Whatever.

 

In the hall, she gave sage advice: "If you're going to rent a place, check it out carefully before you move in."  Funny, I always did that when I was renting. Too bad that never occured to this seemingly intelligent 55 year old woman. I did adore her outbursts of, "He's a liar!" when def. never said a word.

 

Enjoyed the rerun of the hateful, hillbilly slob suing his son, for whom he couldn't stop showing contempt. JJ detested him, with good reason. But the best part was the announcer: "... suing his son for wrecking a car in the... holler."

 

 

[Intocats]

Today was (snooore) reruns of the Kid Named Bracey (HA!) who broke his neck while driving his GF's mother's car DRUNK. The mother was such a piece of work. Acting all uppity and haughty when she let her daughter's mess of a boyfriend live in the house IN HER BEDROOM. (uh, note to parents - if you don't want to allow your kids to do or have something, don't allow them to do it and then act all "Well, I disapproved, harrumph, harrumph". I've raised two teenage daughters and after a while it's ironically humorous to tell them "no" and watch them beg, plead and whine. The payoff is when they grow up and have their own kids and suddenly I've become Confucius sitting on the mountain giving wise advice while stroking my beard (well, I plucked all those chin hairs out lol)  And the dumb daughter had to correct the kid by saying they were drinking "hard liquor". Geeze Louise, what a dummeh (ala Fred Sanford style)

"Spring" is the oldest-looking 20-year-old I've ever seen. She and her mother could pass for sisters (and I'm not complimenting Mom).

[Guest]

Enjoyed the rerun of the hateful, hillbilly slob suing his son, for whom he couldn't stop showing contempt. JJ detested him, with good reason. But the best part was the announcer: "... suing his son for wrecking a car in the... holler."

I wish JJ had called that (literal!) hillbilly up to the bench under the guise of wanting to ask him something personal. Then, after he approached, she beckoned for him to come just a littttttle closer. And just as he leans in and kinda smiles, she whips out her fly swatter and starts relentlessly beating him in his face with it. And THEN to sweeten the humiliation, dismisses his case.

And that, my friends, is how I have to enjoy watching JJ these days: writing fan fiction in my head.

[AngelaHunter]

she whips out her fly swatter and starts relentlessly beating him in his face with it.

 

If anyone deserved a fly swatter beatdown, it was that porcine, ignorant lump.

 

I think that's even better than my fantasy of her saying, "One more word out of him, Byrd, and I want you to go slap the taste out of his mouth."

[Tosia]

I assume she was waiting for a choir of angels to sing "Hallelujah" and a heaven ray of light to shine upon her, a sainted single mother, thus absolving her of any wrongdoing. The way they always announce "I'm a single mother", you'd think the conception was immaculate and that they'd never spread for some loser who dumped them.

Thanks, Angelahunter, for my first laugh of the day. God, I hate single mothers who announce their careless fucking on shows. Can't wait for the next litigant who proclaims that she is a married mother, or better-- a married mother of furbabies....or even chickens with kickass names.

Edited April 13, 2016 by Tosia

[AngelaHunter]

Can't wait for the next litigant who proclaims that she is a married mother

 

Don't hold your breath. It seems married mothers who have children, all raised together - not farmed out to grandparents or foster homes and who all have the same father are so rare that it surprises me when we see it.

 

When my husband and I were playing house (something we managed without keying each other's cars, going at each other with axes, me bleaching his clothes or him punching out my front teeth, knocking up another woman or even throwing a lamp at my head) one day he just said, "This is bullshit. I feel stupid calling you my girlfriend. Let's get married." Ah, the good ol' days.

[Rick Kitchen]

 

The apartment was so terrible and so horrible that she moved in anyway and stayed for 11 months

 

But she said the problems didn't crop up until the next door neighbors moved out, and rats started coming in to her place.

[BubblingKettle]

The rerun that aired early in the day showed Byrd really working for his paycheck! A guy with missing bottom teeth and an angry streak got a bit too intense for JJ's liking, so Byrd was sent to stand behind him. It was funny to see Byrd make facial expressions during the case...but I guess he figured he'd pay attention to what was going on, since his crosswords were not an option. 

 

JJ: "Do you have [an item that the litigant, usually an ex-husband/wife/roommate, has been accused of keeping or taking]?"

Litigant: No.

^^^ I've come to realize that all of the people who appear on Judge Judy definitely have the bike, clothing, tablet, jewelry, gaming system, or TV in question. And if the item really isn't in their possession, it's only because they sold it on Craigslist. 

[Guest]

Another day. Another batch of reruns.

Some advice for dear Judge Judy: GET. A. JOB.