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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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On 8/20/2016 at 9:39 PM, Malvina said:

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Aww I think Jilly looks cute there

And regarding Jana vs the rest of the Duggar women...Maybe Jana hates THEM lol. I really hope she is having a totally secret double life that we know nothing about lol. 

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It always seemed to me, at least out of the older girls, that Jill was the most disliked not Jana.  At least from watching the show the girls from Jinger up seemed way more subdued around Jill than they ever did with Jana.

Just wanted to add that everything in this family seems to be a competition which may lead to some of the discord between the sisters.

I don't think Jill was only the snitch.  I think she was also the bossy second mother snitch.  This may have caused some problems.

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Evangelism is sharing the gospel with the "lost." Google tells me David Nasser is a former Muslim turned Christian lecturer, so I'm guessing that the tweet means "Thank God this guy was rescued from hellfire."

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1 hour ago, scriggle said:

Can anyone explain to lapsed catholic/atheist me what Derrick Dullard is saying here? Because I read this tweet and it makes zero sense to me.

 

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I think it's this: that the New Testament pushes reaching out to more and more nonbelievers rather than hanging around in your local church preaching to the choir. And I guess Nasser and some other current hot-property preachers push that, too, through some sort of missions approach or just reaching out to the local militantly antichurch or unchurched, for example. To wit,

'Jesus Christ did not create the church for Christians, but to mobilize the church to reach the lost.

'"Jesus did not say, 'I'm going to build my church so we can gather on Sunday to meet our friends,'"

'Borden said.While worship, preaching, teaching and fellowship are important, they are "a means to an end. And we have made them the means," he asserted.

And Christians who don't do this outreach are disobedient: 'Disobedience is the biggest problem in the church, Borden added.'

Here's Nasser stuff: 'David Nasser, national author, speaker and consultant, also reminded participants that God is at work in the world, presenting some of the ministries his inner-city church-start in Alabama has undertaken.The native of Iran, who immigrated to the US with his family when he was a boy, also shared his personal testimony of how God drew him - an angry, rebellious high school student - into a local church after he was "pursued" by a Christian school-mate."Love is a magnet," he said, adding that "every church has David Nassers within walking distance" to whom members can minister."The grace of God manifested through a local church, doing the very thing it exists for: mission," Nasser stated. "You don't even need a passport to do foreign missions - they're coming to you!"'

http://www.csbc.com/news/2014/speakers-encourage-church-leader-obedience-to-minister-to-unbelievers

No surprise that this appeals to Mr. Missionary DD, I guess. Unfortunately, it's a bit much to communicate in a tweet, particularly when you're not much of a writer (and probably too lazy to revise and rewrite multiple times or send a series of tweets).

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3 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

I think it's this: that the New Testament pushes reaching out to more and more nonbelievers rather than hanging around in your local church preaching to the choir. And I guess Nasser and some other current hot-property preachers push that, too, through some sort of missions approach or just reaching out to the local militantly antichurch or unchurched, for example. To wit,

'Jesus Christ did not create the church for Christians, but to mobilize the church to reach the lost.

'"Jesus did not say, 'I'm going to build my church so we can gather on Sunday to meet our friends,'"

'Borden said.While worship, preaching, teaching and fellowship are important, they are "a means to an end. And we have made them the means," he asserted.

And Christians who don't do this outreach are disobedient: 'Disobedience is the biggest problem in the church, Borden added.'

Here's Nasser stuff: 'David Nasser, national author, speaker and consultant, also reminded participants that God is at work in the world, presenting some of the ministries his inner-city church-start in Alabama has undertaken.The native of Iran, who immigrated to the US with his family when he was a boy, also shared his personal testimony of how God drew him - an angry, rebellious high school student - into a local church after he was "pursued" by a Christian school-mate."Love is a magnet," he said, adding that "every church has David Nassers within walking distance" to whom members can minister."The grace of God manifested through a local church, doing the very thing it exists for: mission," Nasser stated. "You don't even need a passport to do foreign missions - they're coming to you!"'

http://www.csbc.com/news/2014/speakers-encourage-church-leader-obedience-to-minister-to-unbelievers

No surprise that this appeals to Mr. Missionary DD, I guess. Unfortunately, it's a bit much to communicate in a tweet, particularly when you're not much of a writer (and probably too lazy to revise and rewrite multiple times or send a series of tweets).

I wanna go back into my naive hole where I believed most folks just let people be. I'm gonna look at people suspiciously if they bless me when I sneeze.  (only 1/2 kidding)

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1 minute ago, BradandJanet said:

@Churchhoney

Thank you for stepping in again to serve as interpreter of the coded language that is a big Huh? to many of us. Derek's tweeting to his choir. 

I want to like this twice. For giving Churchie a much deserved shout out and for the last sentence!

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1 hour ago, Patricia07 said:

I don't know why (yes I do) but I just love that Jessa is having a second baby before JillyMuffin.  

I'm guessing that Jilly Muffin's second baby is going to be a huge focus of this season's COUNTING ON. It's either going to be "We prayed the Zika away" or there are continuing complications from her first delivery.

We can only imagine the fun at the TTH while Jessa Blessa rubs it in that she beat Jilly Muffin in the conception sweepstakes...

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11 minutes ago, Patricia07 said:

It would be ironic if, due to Jill's own ineptitude as a midwife and botching her own delivery, she now has fertility issues.

I'm alternating between thinking that and that Derick has taken over contraceptive responsibility since he didn't grow up thinking quiverful. 

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33 minutes ago, Absolom said:

I'm alternating between thinking that and that Derick has taken over contraceptive responsibility since he didn't grow up thinking quiverful. 

I doubt they are doing anything to prevent pregnancy; they are just too far down the fundie tunnel for me to buy that. I'm just thinking that Derick simply has "normal" fertility, and they just lucked out the first time. He doesn't come from a long line of mega-breeders like Ben/Jessa or Smuggar/Anna. It now seems as if Smuggar only has four now because he stayed away from Anna on purpose. Because looking at Prissy and Esther (and even Rebekah), the sisters all have a succession of kids well under two years apart. 

If something is wrong with either Jill or Derick, I doubt the show would address it, other than to give us a vague "We're praying about more children" bullshit line. 

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Looks like the Dullards got the Pool House. From the video the Duggars posted of Meredith about a week ago, based on the floors, it looks like they're in the Guest House (easier to keep an eye on Joshley there). 

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57 minutes ago, Clemgo3165 said:

Who'd have thought Jessa would be the one following in Michelle's footsteps? 

Fertility and uterus trauma are gonna vary. Jill could be screwing 24/7, constantly trying. Some things just don't happen no matter how much you try.

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1 minute ago, JoanArc said:

Fertility and uterus trauma are gonna vary. Jill could be screwing 24/7, constantly trying. Some things just don't happen no matter how much you try.

Bbbbbut, they're praying on it so that like totally fixes EVERYTHING

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4 minutes ago, JoanArc said:

Fertility and uterus trauma are gonna vary. Jill could be screwing 24/7, constantly trying. Some things just don't happen no matter how much you try.

True, but maybe she's not. Maybe she and Derick are happy with the one they have right now and are waiting for a bit to add another child to the mix. They did get pregnant VERY early in their married life and she did go through a pretty traumatic birth experience.

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We didn't hear all of their wedding vows, but they've said either in interviews or on the show that they aren't doing anything to prevent pregnancy, and that they would accept as many children as God gave them. Sounds like Quiverfull to me. They just don't happen to be extremely fertile, whatever the reason. But yeah, they have openly declared these things. 

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Or they could have changed their minds after welcoming enormous baby Izzy. 

And back in the day, when my Mom was having children, she had to vow to have as many children as God gave her because my Dad was Catholic and they were married in the church. They were not in any way, shape, or form wanting to raise up and army for God. 

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Jill said them and Derick kind of echoed.  That doesn't commit them to it forever especially after the botched birth Jill managed for herself.  I think that would have convinced many men that oops I thought my wife knew what she was doing, but clearly she doesn't.  Maybe my real views aren't crazy after all.  I know we all want to think that once a fundie says something it's good for time and all eternity, but it simply isn't.  Josh promised to be faithful and I kept saying wedding vows mean nothing to some people and others argued it was a promise before God.  Saying and doing are often two very different things for this crowd.

They also preach JOY and we see how well they follow that one. 

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The one difference I can see in that argument is that Smuggar opted OUT while Derick has opted IN. I would love it if they were doing something behind the scenes to prevent pregnancy, but the truth of the matter is, for a situation like baby-making, we will never really know the truth unless they choose to tell us. To me, Derick seems very serious and earnest w/r/t his beliefs. OTOH, who knows how long Smuggar would have played Perfect Fundie Husband while getting away with cheating had the hack not happened? He'd probably still be at it. 

Not arguing against you, just playing a little Devil's Advocate so we can look at all sides. :D

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My obstetrician advised a minimum of 18 months before i got pregnant again. I have had 3 c sections and was cleared for a 4th due to minimal scarring. 

According to my c section friends, and googling, this is common practice. Those scars have to heal well before you grow a heavy baby and attempt a labor & delivery. 

Im sure Jilly DESPERATELY wants a VBAC so she can have a large family. Michelle is unusual that she had c sections and vaginals repeatedly and without complications...except Josie did arrive early. And Jubilee, of course. 

Jill might actually be letting her body heal. Probably not but a broken clock is right twice a day! 

As a c section mama, hope she is respecting her body and letting things heal for her sake and the sake of her future baby. 

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There's also the possibility that Derick just doesn't have great swimmers.  If he does have Marfan Syndrome, which he meets all the markers, it doesn't guarantee infertility but the swimmers are usually medium to poor quality.  Doesn't mean you can't get pregnant, but you probably aren't going to pop one out every year with even minimal NFP.  Then you have the strong chance that Jill damaged part of her reproductive system during her childbirth.  I still think that Jill purposely planned her wedding around her cycle and they went at it like rabbits until she had the positive pregnancy test.

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I remember that we had the date of conception nailed down to July 1 based on her due date. She was married June 21, and they only honeymooned for a week, so they were home (with Jenni in the house, IIRC!) when they hit the Izzy jackpot. I remember this only because my birthday is two days before, and she posted pictures of the stupid Jamberry party to her Instagram that day. I remember the date of conception only because it was an even 10 days later after the wedding. 

I remember the most random shit. Sorry. :D

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I know I can see both sides.  I also know a bunch of guys who changed churches, followed the party line, etc to get the girl and went along with it for a year or a few years, and then reverted to their original belief system.  One of my IFB neighbors was caught by that.  Her returned to the Catholic church SIL sent her spinning for quite awhile.  Her once IFB daughter is now a fine Lutheran church member and they attend both mass and the Lutheran service.  Once the kids come along all kinds of memories of things I used to do and rubbing up against things I don't want for my child start crawling in.  I'm not saying for sure that's happening but Derick did go the manbun route and who saw that coming? 

Whatever the reason, I'm glad to see that Jill hasn't joined Jessa in the less than 18 months between babies train.

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In not sure that Jill will willingly opt out of quiverful and Derrick is too much of a follower to rock the boat. But I'd like to be wrong. I guess we can just as easily speculate that they aren't having sex at all and secretly have a miserable marriage. There's just as much evidence for that - namely zero

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Agreed, Absolom. Whoda thunk that Jessa would be the one spitting out kids like a Pez dispenser (at this juncture, at any rate)?

And am I misremembering, or did Jill mention that the doctor told her that she needed 12 months before she should have another baby? I remember SOMEONE saying it! 

(edited b/c JoanArc's post snuck in there)

Edited by Sew Sumi
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We may never know for sure what the hold up is, but it is fun to consider the alternatives.  I can't remember who said it about waiting for another pregnancy.  I remember someone saying something about waiting whether Jill or Derick repeating the doctor or what I don't remember.

Edited by Absolom
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I think JILL said that the doctor said she could have a VBAC.  Now that I think about it, I don't recall the doctor saying much to her on camera other than whatever he said while delivering Izzy. Ergo, the 12 month thing likely came from Jill as well. 

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I could see Jill and Derick using Natural Family Planning. If you get trained  and follow the rules, it can be surprisingly effective. I know Boob and Mechelle believe in popping out as many babies as possible, but I've known quite a few Gothardites who see NFP as compatible with  "trusting God with the size of your family."

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4 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

If something is wrong with either Jill or Derick, I doubt the show would address it, other than to give us a vague "We're praying about more children" bullshit line. 

We'll be hearing more adoption talk. I'm guessing there will be a visit to an orphanage this season. I'm also guessing there will be some type of Redemption Arc for Jilly Muffin.

Should we bet on how many episodes KJB and J-Chelle will appear in?

40 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

I think JILL said that the doctor said she could have a VBAC.  Now that I think about it, I don't recall the doctor saying much to her on camera other than whatever he said while delivering Izzy. Ergo, the 12 month thing likely came from Jill as well. 

IMHO, YMMV, I do not have Teh Kidz, but I seem to remember we were told by both a former L&D nurse of 35 years' experience and a currently practicing OB/GYN that only an idiot would guarantee the ability to have a VBAC to any patient.

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1 minute ago, Bitter Betty said:

Is it possible the doctor told Jill "It might be possible" and Jill heard "It's totally going to happen!"?

I'm positive that entire conversation was nonverbal.  The doctor looked at Jill, and Jill knew what she meant.

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27 minutes ago, TaxNerd said:

I'm positive that entire conversation was nonverbal.  The doctor looked at Jill, and Jill knew what she meant.

THE LORD spoke to her in a dream. Triple D performed a interpretive dance. Barefoot. On the hospital floor.

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7 hours ago, Marigold said:

I'm betting that Jill is making super duper sure that she can have that VBAC to ensure that she can have many many vaginal deliveries. 

Or she could be trying passive birth control. Wreck the uterus and its 2 and done.

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10 hours ago, Marigold said:

I'm betting that Jill is making super duper sure that she can have that VBAC to ensure that she can have many many vaginal deliveries. 

Annnnnddddd we should be hearing any day now that Jill is with kid because no one can upstage her, not Jessa nor Jinger.

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Jill will be calling People while still holding that pee stick in no time, especially now that they're back home. Or maybe she's trying to upstage Jinjer and will make the announcement the day before the wedding, that seems to be more her style. 

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On Tuesday, August 23, 2016 at 7:03 PM, Clemgo3165 said:

True, but maybe she's not. Maybe she and Derick are happy with the one they have right now and are waiting for a bit to add another child to the mix. They did get pregnant VERY early in their married life and she did go through a pretty traumatic birth experience.

Ha. Jolly muffin is Michelle 2.0 I can't see her not being pregnant. 

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On Tuesday, August 23, 2016 at 7:57 PM, Marigold said:

My obstetrician advised a minimum of 18 months before i got pregnant again. I have had 3 c sections and was cleared for a 4th due to minimal scarring. 

According to my c section friends, and googling, this is common practice. Those scars have to heal well before you grow a heavy baby and attempt a labor & delivery. 

Im sure Jilly DESPERATELY wants a VBAC so she can have a large family. Michelle is unusual that she had c sections and vaginals repeatedly and without complications...except Josie did arrive early. And Jubilee, of course. 

Jill might actually be letting her body heal. Probably not but a broken clock is right twice a day! 

As a c section mama, hope she is respecting her body and letting things heal for her sake and the sake of her future baby. 

Didn't Michelle have problems and the doctortold her to stop. 

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Just now, Darknight said:

Didn't Michelle have problems and the doctortold her to stop. 

If I recall correctly, Michelle had trouble finding an OBGYN crazy enough to even treat her.

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4 hours ago, fuzzylollipop said:

Jill will be calling People while still holding that pee stick in no time, especially now that they're back home. Or maybe she's trying to upstage Jinjer and will make the announcement the day before the wedding, that seems to be more her style. 

Jilly Muffin will make the announcement on the church steps at Jinger's wedding. She'll wear white. It's the color of angels! Of course, J-Chelle will put on her wedding gown, too, just to make sure America knows it still fits.

I'm wondering where "media coverage" fits into that whole JOY thing.

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1 hour ago, Darknight said:

Didn't Michelle have problems and the doctortold her to stop. 

If I remember correctly, she was such a high risk that she couldn't find an OB willing to take that risk on their license.  She was advised to wait between C-sections and pregnancies.

I know Josie came early due to a mix of medical complications but the fact that she got pregnant like 3 months post C-section could not have helped the situation. Those C-section scars must've been weak and stretched thin.  

Back to Jill, it is possible that Jill actually is waiting to heal up and following some common sense.  She had a traumatic delivery and maybe Silly Jilly actually LEARNED something?  Or maybe Derick got the shit scared out of him? Maybe Jill found out that her idea of shunning medical intervention and doing it her way with all that God stuff...uh, yeah, she had a C-section.  I bet that stunned Jill who truly, truly believed that her birth would be perfect and natural if she prayed hard. 

I know we goof on whatever midwife training Jill claims to have (To this day, I still don't understand WTF her license really is) but it is possible that in her "studies" that they did address VBAC deliveries, what is advised and why. 

Maybe jilly grew up a bit and is taking her C-section recovery seriously? Letting her body heal so she can have another child safely without a potential medical complication. 

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