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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


Message added by CM-CrispMtAir,

Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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I forgot to add to my post that Jilly was lucky she didn't have a job she had to go, feeling sick or not. I'm sure every working mother-to-be with morning sickness wishes she had the luxury of being able to stay home like Jill did.

  • Love 9
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I had a dream Jill was asking me for baby name suggestions.  I suggested Daniel, which isn't even a name I like that much when I'm awake.  Though Daniel Dillard is kind of a cute name.

 

I can't wait for this kid to be born.  If I'm dreaming about him while he's still a fetus, there's too damn much media attention on the pregnancy.

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A lot of women are forced to use disability leave, or part of their family and medical leave act for morning sickness, which often means less time at home with the baby once it's born. Jill IS lucky.

  • Love 3
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Anna had morning sickness & I'm sure it was hard for her with other children to take care esp since they were young & needed her almost constant attention. We saw on different occasions Joy helping out & wonder if she was "allowed" to go over to help Anna when she wasn't feeling well.

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When Jill said she didn't cook while she was feeling sick in the 1st Trimester, that doesn't mean she never heated anything up or made a sandwich. She could have meant she didn't cook up anything complex like the dish she and Jana were making at the time.  Some people differentiate…they may say "I'm not cooking tonight" but that means they are baking up a frozen casserole and putting together a green salad, or heating up soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. That's usually what I mean.

I am sure Jill fed Derrick…and I am also sure he was happy to help his newly pregnant wife by making some meals. He doesn't seem as entitled as Smuggar.

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Plus first trimester morning sickness is usually six weeks not twelve.  Jill was out about quite a bit during that six week period.  I'm emphasizing the six weeks for first trimester, because Jill said hers let up second trimester although it doesn't for all women.  Jill didn't look or at act as if she was anywhere near approaching HG levels. 

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Sigh. I disagree that she didn't look really badly off, even though it didn't approach HG levels. I posted at the time that she looked very badly in her first TLC appearance (a video) where she looked pale, wan and had obviously lost weight. The number of comments about her hair and how unattractive it is have substantially gone up - that's a sign of severe morning sickness.

I'm just rather baffled by the sheer number of comments from people who seem to want to say that she's not sick. I mean, why wouldn't you take someone at their word that they were when there really isn't any reason not to? It's no skin off your nose if she was or wasn't.

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I don't think anyone denied she was sick. People are just questioning HOW sick she really was. 

 

At any rate, Duggar Fam Official put up Jill's latest pregnancy pic, taken yesterday (Sunday) at 38w5d. She seriously looks like she has twins in there! If someone already hosts pics to this site's preferred host, feel free to post it. She is HUGE. 

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I don't think anyone denied she was sick. People are just questioning HOW sick she really was. 

 

At any rate, Duggar Fam Official put up Jill's latest pregnancy pic, taken yesterday (Sunday) at 38w5d. She seriously looks like she has twins in there! If someone already hosts pics to this site's preferred host, feel free to post it. She is HUGE. 

https://www.facebook.com/duggarfamilyofficial/photos/a.518180528315601.1073741828.510067475793573/619076994892620/?type=1

Edited by springtime
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I  question that Jill was SO very sick because she was still able to do so many things that she wanted to do like drive Derick and pick him up and go to lunch with him.  I've been, I guess suspicious is a good enough way of expressing it, of her level of stamina for issues since the wisdom teeth episode.   I think she's been coddled and doesn't understand that women deal with what she did and keep working and don't ditch their studies at the first hint of nausea.  I really don't think Jill has any idea at all of what many other people do.

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Jill has always been a lightweight for any type of discomfort. She freaked out over giving blood and practically fainted before her wisdom teeth extraction. I can't imagine her doing natural childbirth. On a positive note I think she looks really good in her most recent picture.

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Jill has always been a lightweight for any type of discomfort. She freaked out over giving blood and practically fainted before her wisdom teeth extraction. I can't imagine her doing natural childbirth. On a positive note I think she looks really good in her most recent picture.

 

Completely agree. And I hope the TLC crew is prepared for a run when she goes into labor because - based on her previous history - I don't think she'll be hanging around the McMansion timing contractions for very long. She'll be demanding that Derrick get her bottom to the nearest hospital - and the quickest epidural - ASAP.

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I think her midwife training could be both a blessing and a curse for her here. It's good because she probably knows all about relaxation techniques and natural childbirth (in theory at least) yet bad because she must have seen an awful lot of women going through excruciatingly painful labour over the past few years. And as others have said, in the past she hasn't reacted well to even the idea of pain.

 

It will be interesting to see how it plays out; but then again, part of me kind of hope we'll never find out for sure because I really want Dereck to have balls big enough to tell TLC to shove it if they ask to film Baby Dill's birth.

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I don't think so. She's only going to the hospital if a c-section is required. Otherwise, she'll martyr herself giving birth to the next messiah, Superfreak Dillard. :D

I wonder if she thinks it'll look bad if she, as a midwife in training, would go to the hospital. Maybe she feels it would be disloyal especially to that midwife she always works with and the babies she's delivered. I can get that. Be like if I worked as a waiter at one restaurant and went to have dinner at its competitor across the street.

Edited by EarlGreyTea
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EarlGreyTea, I could see that as well. I just hope Jill does what's best for her. She looks like she's carrying a ginormous baby. As much as I snark on her I certainly don't want to see her in an unsafe situation.

  • Love 3
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Vanessa, the midwife and part-time wedding planner, is not the primary midwife in charge of Jill's care, so Jill has already "betrayed" her. However, Vanessa threw her a baby shower, so I guess it's all good.

 

Remember, they showed her going to her first ultrasound appointment with the other woman (whose name escapes me) with Mrs. Query acting as her assistant-in-training. 

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Vanessa, the midwife and part-time wedding planner, is not the primary midwife in charge of Jill's care, so Jill has already "betrayed" her. However, Vanessa threw her a baby shower, so I guess it's all good.

Remember, they showed her going to her first ultrasound appointment with the other woman (whose name escapes me) with Mrs. Query acting as her assistant-in-training.

Wow, I didn't realize that! Was the rationale given? Maybe it's a policy not to use coworkers as midwives. I dunno. I remember really liking the midwife that was Jill's superior. She seemed really calm and competent. Edited by EarlGreyTea
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I don't know if she's going to be able to have this baby without an epidural. That baby has to be larger than average, I forget my exact guess on the baby's weight, but I think it was around 9 lbs. (8 lbs 14 oz IIRC). And Jill has shown she doesn't do well with pain. I hope they have it on hand in case she changes her mind and wants the epidural. I know I would, that and A HOSPITAL.

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Can midwives do epidurals? I thought only anesthesiologists or nurse anesthetists could do them.

No, midwives cannot do epidurals. They can administer narcotics in a birthing center in some states, I believe.

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I know that the no-drugs edict is in effect in AR, probably because the midwife certification isn't the highest degree. So, Jilly Muffin ain't gettin' nuthin' unless she's moved to a hospital. 

 

Come on Jilly! I have 3/21 in the pool! Poor girl; I just looked at the spreadsheet, and the vast majority of us think she's got a toddler in there! LOL

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Wow, I didn't realize that! Was the rationale given? Maybe it's a policy not to use coworkers as midwives. I dunno. I remember really liking the midwife that was Jill's superior. She seemed really calm and competent.

IIRC, Jill said she knew of the midwife or met her thru a midwife association. I didn't realize Mrs Query was in midwifery training until she appeared in the episode. I was surprised Jill didn't use Vanessa, but as others have said, maybe she didn't feel comfortable using her since she worked with her.

By the looks of Jill, I hope the midwife has an OB on speed dial ready to go to the OR for a C-section. Just thinking of delivering a baby that large vaginally makes me cringe. She's going to need some type of help getting Baby Messiah delivered & I don't mean prepared bible verses.

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No, midwives cannot do epidurals. They can administer narcotics in a birthing center in some states, I believe.

My bad. I was thinking about Certified Nurse Midwives who can order them and other pain medications if they are delivering in a hospital/birthing center. They do in my state.

Edited by msblossom
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Arkansas doesn't confer the CNM designation, period. eta: Vanessa's certifications are CPM and LM, per A Mommy's Butterfly's FB page. I get LM is licensed midwife, but I'm not sure what CPM is: certified practicing midwife? Anyone? Bueller? :D

Edited by Sew Sumi
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I'm still not sure how much of Jill's fear comes from pain and how much is needles. My husband, for instance, can take a tremendous amount of the former, but is a big baby about needles and teeth - the two examples used to demonstrate that Jill is a big wuss. So I'm on the fence about how tough she is. I don't think she runs for the hospital, but I think she is in for a surprise about how difficult it is - just as I think she underestimated how sick she would be with morning sickness.

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Can midwives do epidurals? I thought only anesthesiologists or nurse anesthetists could do them.

A scarier question, can they do episeotomies?  No fun, but it beats tearing. Sorry about the question, I know nothing about midwifery. 

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In Arkansas I had an APN who worked as a midwife in an ob/gyn practice for my first. I went with a lay midwife for my second. I did the whole no drug thing with a little over 6 lbs. & almost 9 lbs. It'll be interesting to see how Jill's birth plays out. I know we all handle pain differently. If she wants a home, drug-free birth I hope it's something that works for her. I may not agree with her choices 100%, but I can't help but wish her that.

Edited by ramble
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Strangely enough episiotomies are worse for mom than tears. Straight cuts are easier to sew and that's why doctors usually do them.  That it will prevent a tear is just talk. I found out when I had to have surgery to repair an episiotomy scar.  The solution was to let it tear in the next delivery.  That's when the OB explained how the tear would heal faster and less painfully and he was certainly right.

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Can midwives do epidurals? I thought only anesthesiologists or nurse anesthetists could do them.

 

I thought an epidural required an anesthesiologist - at least it does in my state. I mean, it involves sticking a needle in one's spinal column, right? Can't imagine anyone being OK with a midwife doing that.

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I'm still not sure how much of Jill's fear comes from pain and how much is needles. My husband, for instance, can take a tremendous amount of the former, but is a big baby about needles and teeth - the two examples used to demonstrate that Jill is a big wuss. So I'm on the fence about how tough she is. I don't think she runs for the hospital, but I think she is in for a surprise about how difficult it is - just as I think she underestimated how sick she would be with morning sickness.

 

Agree overall, but I'm still putting my $$ on her hightailing it for a hospital when the gig starts to get serious. It's a whole new experience for her - and I can't remember hearing of any Gothard "teaching" that shames women who don't give birth at home. Me-chelle's had a whole bunch in the hospital...

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Hearing about all these different types of midwifes has my head spinning. Some are certified or licensed, some aren't, some can do this & some can't. I'm guessing it's state regulations & what each state says goes but you would think by now there would be some sort of general guidelines/laws to follow. Here in Maryland our rules tightened up a few years ago (don't know specifics) but it mainly ended up being if you want a midwife, the delivery has to he in a hospital or birthing center, not at home. That's why I can't wait to find out what Anna does since they live in Maryland. I can actually see them going back to Arkansas to deliver since Arkansas seems more lenient & good grief, they are there enough anyway. I'm sure there are still mothers that will not follow the rules & find a willing midwife to deliver at home. Any legal people out there? Possibly GEML? Would like to know if something went wrong due to the midwife's negligence, is there a legal route to go since you shouldn't have had the midwife deliver at home?

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It's been awhile since I looked at the rules, but Maryland and Virginia are VERY strict. You must be a certified nurse midwife and very few will do a home birth. In Virginia, you can have a midwife delivery your baby in a hospital, I believe, and I know there are quite a few birthing centers in Maryland that are within a mile or two of major hospitals. It's very different from what the Duggars are used to, and as someone who had two babies in Northern Va (one with a practice that included a midwife, although I was too high risk for her to do the delivery) Anna can get very specific and specialized care, including a birth plan that her midwife will treat seriously if she asks around. But she will have real OB/GYN backup - none of this "oh, I will just ask my birthing coach to help out, how hard can it be!" nonsense.

Anyone pulling that would quickly have any licensed they had pulled.

Edited by GEML
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I'm not sure what the legal repercussions would be, but there might be some, given that she would be practicing medicine without a license in that state, AND with a type of license that state specifically doesn't recognize. If they filmed it, that would be basically thumbing their noses at the State of Maryland, which most states don't take kindly to.

There was a big crackdown a few years ago on licenses when a baby died, so I'm not sure that either state would simply look away.

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Wow, I didn't realize that! Was the rationale given? Maybe it's a policy not to use coworkers as midwives. I dunno. I remember really liking the midwife that was Jill's superior. She seemed really calm and competent.

 

I don't blame Jill for not wanting to use a coworker. A friend of mine who just had a baby works with MDs, and she was joking that if she gave birth in the office she was quitting her job. Her logic was that anytime your coworkers see you naked it's time to leave. 

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I'm not sure what the legal repercussions would be, but there might be some, given that she would be practicing medicine without a license in that state, AND with a type of license that state specifically doesn't recognize. If they filmed it, that would be basically thumbing their noses at the State of Maryland, which most states don't take kindly to.

There was a big crackdown a few years ago on licenses when a baby died, so I'm not sure that either state would simply look away.

 

Knowing this, I'm inclined to think that now Anna will attempt to spend the last few weeks of pregnancy with her in-laws. Unless she actually DOES have the type of medical care in Maryland that she's supposed to have, which somehow seems doubtful. 

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