Josh & Anna Smuggar: A Series of Unfortunate Events

[cheatincheetos]

Josh Duggar should be in a plural marriage.

http://wonkette.com/594705/looks-like-mike-huckabee-and-the-duggars-are-still-totally-gay-for-each-other

 

Seems Huckabee is quietly starting to work with the Duggars again in his bidnessman ventures, as they are helping promote his new CD about the Real Murican History of how our Founders meant to create a theocracy. Learn how Moses parted the Delaware so that George Washington could sneak over and ambush the British! See how the Civil War could have been prevented if only the slaves had been able to buy machine guns!

Edited October 11, 2015 by cheatincheetos

[cheatincheetos]

 

^^^^Pure EVIL!!!! That picture is what nightmares are made of!

Duggar Orgasm Face should stay in Duggar's bedroom.

[GeeGolly]

I won't repost the above picture {{{shudder}}}. But the girls actually happy.

[ThinkerBell]

Hey, hey, hey.

The face that Jim Bob makes when he's purposed to make Michelle 'Big Pregnant' (again).

[Julia]

The face that Jim Bob makes when he's purposed to make Michelle 'Big Pregnant' (again).

 

See, this is so disturbing. Because I know exactly what you're talking about, and here's the thing about that: I am at least four degrees of separation away from these people, she wears couch covers so nobody will look at her and think about sex because "extreme modesty," and I know what his O face looks like. Just, seriously, buddy, nobody thinks you're a big dog because you bone your unpleasant, bitter wife, including your unpleasant, bitter wife, who has shared with literally millions of people that you're a premature ejaculator with bad breath. 

[ThinkerBell]

WTF is wrong with this woman? I wonder if she would be singing a different toon if Boob was the one who cheated? It's too late to go back in time Chelly when you raised a son that had/has sexual issues and did NOTHING about it. It's really sickening how they have ruined Anna's life.

The sad and disturbing message that Michelle is conveying to her daughters is that their body belongs to anyone/everyone but themselves (husband, children, and perverted older brother).

[Churchhoney]

http://wonkette.com/594705/looks-like-mike-huckabee-and-the-duggars-are-still-totally-gay-for-each-other

 

Seems Huckabee is quietly starting to work with the Duggars again in his bidnessman ventures, as they are helping promote his new CD about the Real Murican History of how our Founders meant to create a theocracy. Learn how Moses parted the Delaware so that George Washington could sneak over and ambush the British! See how the Civil War could have been prevented if only the slaves had been able to buy machine guns!

 

Bigots of a feather grift together. Isn't that how the saying goes?

[mbutterfly]

You bring up an interesting point. Where exactly do Josh and Anna go from here? He's obviously bored with the marriage and he's only 26. Is he really going to stay faithful for the rest of his life? At least this may derail Anna's baby train. I can't imagine having sex with a guy who's a child molester and cheats with porn stars. I get itchy just thinking about it.

Can someone please explain to me why Josh is still in residential treatment (if he is)? Nothing was court ordered. If he has left, why sneak around. He is free to go wherever he wants. I don't get it.

[BitterApple]

Can someone please explain to me why Josh is still in residential treatment (if he is)? Nothing was court ordered. If he has left, why sneak around. He is free to go wherever he wants. I don't get it.

I think Boob has him stashed away while they're filming the specials. He doesn't want any paparazzi or Instagram photos showing up of Josh when the family is about to get their show back on the air.

In addition, the guise of 'rehab' implies that Josh is getting help, will be 'cured' and can do the whole redemption tour when he gets out.

Edited October 11, 2015 by BitterApple

[Muffyn]

A paper bag for Derick's Lurch head.

This was the first thing I read this morning.  Well played.  Fortunately I was not drinking anything or my laptop would have had a shower.  "Lurch head".  

 

First, this is horrifying.  There should be a law against close ups of Jim Bob.  Second, he is forcing his smile so hard that it looks like he is in pain.  He is so regularly inappropriate in public I contend this face is happening because he is trying to push through some severe constipation.  Either that or he is posing for illustrators doing a smiling Moe Szyzlak.  

 

[JenCarroll]

***

Never talk about things in front of your kids that should be private between hub and wife.

***

Unless, of course, you're on a public mini-golf course, filming a program to be broadcast internationally. Then it's all right.

[Liz Tudor]

Y'all, I am not afraid of much...not heights, spiders, snakes, zombie apocalypse, etc., but that pic of JB and even the words "hey, hey, hey" kickstart my gag reflex. Just EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!

[cheatincheetos]

The face that Jim Bob makes when he's purposed to make Michelle 'Big Pregnant' (again).

People used to discuss the feeder fetish on the 600 Lb Life board. Maybe this is a similar fetish.

[Mollie]

Michelle reposted her marriage advice blog. Passive aggressive dig at Anna?

tl;dr: have sex with your husband when he demands.

https://www.duggarfamily.com/michelles-blog?ID=778dd00f-c069-4517-a8cf-067beea6511d

That's definitely written by a woman who has no pleasures, if you know what I mean, and who doesn't know all of her body parts.  In her experience, only men "have needs."  She has no concept of love or of intimacy.  She thinks a relationship with a man is about having someone listen to her babbling.  

[Mollie]

When is Anna allowed to visit Josh?

Actually, today's the day: https://web.archive.org/web/20151011065248/http://www.inquisitr.com/2486538/is-anna-duggar-back-with-duggar-family-to-visit-josh-in-illinois

[JenCarroll]

Hey, hey, hey.

Ick, ick, ick.

[Julia]

People used to discuss the feeder fetish on the 600 Lb Life board. Maybe this is a similar fetish.

 

Well, leaving aside Jim Bob's jones for being the patriarch of a generation, if you look at the rules they have for when in the month they're allowed to have sex, and the post-delivery period when he has to abstain, really the only time Jim Bob could get the sex on demand he talks so much about is when Michelle's pregnant. And, of course, after menopause, but then Michelle's not waddling around proclaiming to the world with her belly that he tore off a piece of that.

Edited October 11, 2015 by Julia

[tabloidlover]

See, this is so disturbing. Because I know exactly what you're talking about, and here's the thing about that: I am at least four degrees of separation away from these people, she wears couch covers so nobody will look at her and think about sex because "extreme modesty," and I know what his O face looks like. Just, seriously, buddy, nobody thinks you're a big dog because you bone your unpleasant, bitter wife, including your unpleasant, bitter wife, who has shared with literally millions of people that you're a premature ejaculator with bad breath.

So again, my question is this. What is JimBoob thinking about when MEchelle is joyfully laying there accepting his seed? I just do.not.get.it. She is hardly some hottie, and it's the same box that has been a clown car for babies for over 20 years. I cannot wrap my head around this - yet, I can't stop wondering because it just doesn't compute for me. AT ALL...

[cmr2014]

“And so be available, and not just available, but be joyfully available for him. Smile and be willing to say, ‘Yes, sweetie I am here for you,’ no matter what, even though you may be exhausted and big pregnant and you may not feel like he feels. ‘I’m still here for you and I’m going to meet that need because I know it’s a need for you.’ ”

In other words, a dutiful Duggar wife should never say, "Not tonight, honey, I'm 'big pregnant'."

 

What I don't get about this is why they decided to roll this out again. They tried it out just after the scandal broke when the pastor of Cross Church just happened to do a sermon -- completely coincidentally, right? -- about this. That was only a couple of months ago and, if I recall correctly, and I do, it went over like the giant turd sandwich that it is.

 

They really are their own public relations nightmare. It seems like they are trying to get their show double-special cancelled, and make sure that the Jill/Jessa specials never get aired.

[Julia]

They really are their own public relations nightmare. It seems like they are trying to get their show double-special cancelled, and make sure that the Jill/Jessa specials never get aired.

 

Yeah, but define "they." If the JIll/Jessa specials never get aired, what do Jim Bob and Michelle lose? They're not involved, Jessa's talking about moving away, Jill's actually made plans to move away, there's nothing in this for the two of them. If the specials are cancelled, though, they can spend the election stumping for candidates who need victims of the librul conspiracy to trot out.

[Marigny]

Ew. What the eff was in the bridal package that Michelle gave to Jill for her wedding night? The mind boggles. 

Lube and an ovulation calendar. 

[Muffyn]

Lube is of the devil!  That would be admitting you want to have sex and that it should at least be comfortable if not enjoyable.  

[JoanArc]

Lube and an ovulation calendar.

A brown paper bag and a pregnancy test?

[PityFree]

Lube is the Devil's saliva. The package Mechelle gave her contained a stop watch and some mints to offer her husband. 

[Anne Elk]

I'm sure that Jim Bob thinks of himself while he's implanting his manly seed. He is the only person in the room at the time, after all. Why waste thoughts on the vessel? Her opinions don't matter.

 

I still think they're basically cutting Josh off. His name is no longer on any of the assets. If they can't control him with threats of hell, they'll do it by the purse strings. He's totally at their mercy if they have all the money. 

[cheatincheetos]

Either that or he is posing for illustrators doing a smiling Moe Szyzlak.  

 

You nailed it! That's who he reminded me of. In my wave of nausea I couldn't place it at first.

I'm sure that Jim Bob thinks of himself while he's implanting his manly seed. He is the only person in the room at the time, after all.

[kokapetl]

I had a look at Danica Dillon's oeuvre, and Jesus fucking Christ, hetero men should be ashamed. Warning! deprived porno titles in spoiler

Destruction of Danica Dillon?! Squirt in my gape 4?! I hope I can choke on a cock?!?!

Edited October 12, 2015 by Bella
porn discussion

[JoanArc]

I had a look at Danica Dillon's oeuvre, and Jesus fucking Christ, hetero men should be ashamed. Destruction of Danica Dillon?! Squirt in my gape 4?! I hope I can choke on a cock?!?!

You made me go take a look at her acting credits. "Butt Licking Anal Whores 17" - I guess Anna couldn't fill that special need.

[Guest]

You made me go take a look at her acting credits. "Butt Licking Anal Whores 17" - I guess Anna couldn't fill that special need.

 

I refuse to believe that "story arc" requires 17 installments. Poor Anna. 

 

(BTW, I'm totally sending Danica's acting credits to my mom the next time that she asks why I haven't enrolled in graduate school yet. "See, mom? I'm not licking anyone's butt, so I think we can agree that I'm doing just fine over here.")

[kokapetl]

You made me go take a look at her acting credits. "Butt Licking Anal Whores 17" - I guess Anna couldn't fill that special need.

How could Anna possibly compete with the star of

Cum Fart Cocktails 8 and My Stepdaughter Tossed My Salad 2

[JenCarroll]

STOP! STOP! Guys, the names of these films are literally making me ill. I think the point's been made; could we please not list the other 160 films titles? Please?

[Guest]

STOP! STOP! Guys, the names of these films are literally making me ill. I think the point's been made; could we please not list the other 160 films titles? Please?

 

Agreed. Although, I have to say that Cum Fart Cocktails 8 made me giggle... a lot. 

 

IMO, these 160 icky titles highlight that Danica has been around the block a few times and Anna really needs to get tested for STDs. Like, yesterday. 

Edited October 12, 2015 by Guest
porn title

[Anne Elk]

I wonder if any of these matrimonial geniuses advising Anna to "be more available" for her husband have any idea what Josh is really into. Poor Anna indeed. 

Edited October 12, 2015 by Anne Elk

[JoanArc]

 

IMO, these 160 icky titles highlight that Danica has been around the block a few times and Anna really needs to get tested for STDs. Like, yesterday.

I won't veer too far OT, but porn stars are rigorously tested for STDs, more so than the general public. I'd be more worried about the other non-pro women Josh has been with, like the one with the pregnancy scare. But yeah, poor Anna. Doing everything right and still 'losing' is an awful feeling. I wish she'd come out and say what a crock courtship is. It's just like a job interview where someone has to give the 'right' answers, not what they actually think.

[BitterApple]

There's no way Anna can compete with a professional whore if Josh is into the really kinky stuff. Personally I think their marriage is doomed. They can either be honest with themselves now or spend the next fifty years silently loathing one another.

They're both still young enough that they could go to trade school, get jobs and co-parent their kids. All the McMansions in the world won't make up for being miserable.

Edited October 12, 2015 by BitterApple

[Bella]

The porn is squicking out some of our posters.

 

I'm going to spoiler tag what isn't already spoiler tagged.

 

Please be considerate of your fellow posters.

 

And just because you have a thought about something doesn't mean you have to post it here. We're getting more and more of that lately, and this is not a "random thoughts about what could maybe possibly go on in Duggarworld" forum. The complaints are escalating, and we're to the point of just deleting stuff because it doesn't really have anything to do with anything here, it's just made up.

[Sew Sumi]

I just wanted to note that I just saw a handwritten thank you note from Anna to a woman from a homeschool alumni group. Aside from the fact that her handwriting is very, very juvenile, her message conveys that she remains ever faithful, and that what she's going through now is basically a rough patch that she must quietly endure because Jesus. 

 

It was really, really sad. She isn't going anywhere, setting herself up for lord knows what kind of disappointment from her scumbag spouse. 

[Guest]

I just wanted to note that I just saw a handwritten thank you note from Anna to a woman from a homeschool alumni group. Aside from the fact that her handwriting is very, very juvenile, her message conveys that she remains ever faithful, and that what she's going through now is basically a rough patch that she must quietly endure because Jesus. 

 

It was really, really sad. She isn't going anywhere, setting herself up for lord knows what kind of disappointment from her scumbag spouse. 

 

Wow. That's deeply unfortunate. I cannot imagine what it would take to stay married to that man, be intimate with him again, bear him more children, etc., but it sounds like we should all prepare ourselves for the Reformed Josh media tour with a newly-pregnant Anna by his side. 

[Sew Sumi]

Well, Anna now knows that she has to always be "joyfully available" to meet his needs. Will they ever discuss what they REALLY want in bed, or is it going to be more of the same (the likes of which obviously did not satisfy Smuggles' voracious itch)?

[SomePity1066]

I just wanted to note that I just saw a handwritten thank you note from Anna to a woman from a homeschool alumni group. Aside from the fact that her handwriting is very, very juvenile, her message conveys that she remains ever faithful, and that what she's going through now is basically a rough patch that she must quietly endure because Jesus. 

 

It was really, really sad. She isn't going anywhere, setting herself up for lord knows what kind of disappointment from her scumbag spouse. 

In all of this - JoshGate I and II, the will-she-or-won't-she struggle, the new baby, the EXISTING babies, the ignominy of being simultaneously dressed down by Michelle and Company yet paraded around like a prize heifer at a 4-H fair, Anna seems to have held her head high. For ALL the wrong reasons, of course, but I think that woman has some serious poise. 

 

Bonus points for a handwritten note. I'm old (and old-fashioned !) enough to be impressed. Credit where credit is due and all that.

[BitterApple]

It wouldn't surprise me if Anna gets knocked up right away when Josh gets out of 'therapy.' Band-Aid babies are pretty common in these situations. Also, having a pregnant wife making googly eyes at him on a redemption tour will go a long way with the leg humpers in terms of rehabbing his image.

[Sew Sumi]

I agree BitterApple, and it makes me so sad for her. She did everything she was supposed to do, was the perfect Gothard daughter who allowed herself to be manipulated into this marriage with a known molester, had children with him, and was ever the dutiful wife. To end up like this? Because I couldn't do it, I marvel at the person who can take that cretin back with open arms, thinking that everything is hunky-dory. That's a lot of shit to forgive, and we know that Smuggles isn't working on his issues; he's just parroting the bible verses he's supposed to commit to memory each day. 

 

Let's see just how good an actor Josh is now that we know just what a scumbucket and hypocrite he is. I think there are even some die hard leghumpers who support Anna, but could possibly call Smuggar to the carpet. I mean, it should be clear to even the most myopic leghumper that Josh's "Christianity" was all a scam and they were the scammed. 

 

I guess we'll see...

[Anne Elk]

And everyone knows babies fix everything! Especially when it's the fifth baby to parents who are both unemployed!

 

Sigh. I wouldn't be surprised if Anna really believes that. According to Gothard principles, babies are just about the only accomplishment women have in life to be proud of. Anna's self-esteem is probably at negative levels right now, her marriage is a disaster area, she's got no home anymore. Just about the only thing she can do to make herself feel better is make more babies. And I'm sure she will.

[Micks Picks]

I think if Josh was honest he would leave her.  He is in for a world of hurt trying to stay and be someone he is not, and always having to look at someone he hurt so badly.  

[louannems]

And everyone knows babies fix everything! Especially when it's the fifth baby to parents who are both unemployed!

 

Sigh. I wouldn't be surprised if Anna really believes that. According to Gothard principles, babies are just about the only accomplishment women have in life to be proud of. Anna's self-esteem is probably at negative levels right now, her marriage is a disaster area, she's got no home anymore. Just about the only thing she can do to make herself feel better is make more babies. And I'm sure she will.

And everyone knows babies fix everything! Especially when it's the fifth baby to parents who are both unemployed!

 

Sigh. I wouldn't be surprised if Anna really believes that. According to Gothard principles, babies are just about the only accomplishment women have in life to be proud of. Anna's self-esteem is probably at negative levels right now, her marriage is a disaster area, she's got no home anymore. Just about the only thing she can do to make herself feel better is make more babies. And I'm sure she will.

[louannems]

From Anna's first day of marriage, I always had the impression that Anna was in a serious competition against Michelle to out-pro-create her. Anna was going to beat Michelle's 19 kids. Why, Anna would have 20 kids! She freaks out a couple months after teach birth that she is not yet repregnated. And now, after Josh's long, 6 month's hiatis, she is losing ground.

[cmr2014]

I think if Josh was honest he would leave her.  He is in for a world of hurt trying to stay and be someone he is not, and always having to look at someone he hurt so badly.  

 

Someone posted an article on this thread a few days ago about the effect of "purity culture" on men.I was really interesting, and I would recommend it to anyone who hasn't read it yet.

 

I think that Josh loves Anna and his kids, and wants to be a good husband and father, but I think he's very conflicted about his sexuality -- not that he's gay, but that he can't make the connection between sexy-time fun and procreational sex with his wife. I think it would take him years of therapy to resolve this issue -- if it's even possible -- and 6 months at Jesus prison won't help at all.

 

I don't think Anna sees this at all, and I think she'll just pray extra-hard and hope that things work out. I don't see this ending well for any of them.

[sleekandchic]

Please forgive me if this rumor/article has been posted already. My eyes arent cooperating lately.

http://www.parentherald.com/articles/11079/20151012/anna-duggar-divorce-josh-duggar-begging-wife-to-stay-anna-staying-strong-for-the-kids-rumor.htm

http://hollywoodlife.com/2015/10/09/anna-josh-duggar-getting-divorced-leaving-affair-begging/

Edited October 14, 2015 by sleekandchic

[CofCinci]

It wouldn't surprise me if Anna gets knocked up right away when Josh gets out of 'therapy.' Band-Aid babies are pretty common in these situations. Also, having a pregnant wife making googly eyes at him on a redemption tour will go a long way with the leg humpers in terms of rehabbing his image.

When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

There will be more babies. There will be more unhappiness and cheating.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Edited October 14, 2015 by CofCinci

[MargeGunderson]

Well, Anna now knows that she has to always be "joyfully available" to meet his needs. Will they ever discuss what they REALLY want in bed, or is it going to be more of the same (the likes of which obviously did not satisfy Smuggles' voracious itch)

 

Oh yes, Anna being "joyfully available" is going to solve all of their problems. Because no way no how is there anything more to Josh's issues than sex (what kind and how often.) That's a symptom, not the disease. Josh has a host of problems; until those are addressed nothing is going to change. Oh, and recommitting yourself to Jesus is probably not gonna do it all. I'd like to think that Jesus would want Josh to get some real help, not just pray it away.

 

(not directed at you, Sew Sumi, but at the simple-minded perspective of the Duggars and their ilk)