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OnceSane

S01.E12: The Beautiful Thing About Subpar

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There are plenty of bad employees on this ship.  Two basic categories:  1.  won't or do not want to do the job assigned, 2.  do the job but have shitty interpersonal skills/maturity.

Unless the captain was eavesdropping or spying on Bryan, he'd never see what a complete douchebag he is.  He presents himself to the captain and I'm sure when he thinks the captain is around, as all yes sir, no sir, I'm strictly by the books sir.  Hannah and the other women needed to report his harrassment immediately.  Not sure what laws apply since they're not in US waters though.  Bobby had a hissyfit, but not sure how much of his bad behavior was seen by the captain.  Actually, every one of them had hissyfits or meltdowns from one degree to another.  Wondering how much having Danny around contributed.  I've seen teams go sideways due to a team member's antics; the frustration builds up that one person isn't doing their share, nothing is done about it, etc.  (I have someone at work right now who fits that role; does little, does little to educate themselves, leaves precisely at their time to leave - yet clocks more OT than anyone else on the team  ?? - and I've found myself ready to lose my shit multiple times).  I've also worked with many douchebags who are dripping with condescension and slightly misogynist attitudes (member of the good ol' boys club), but their attitude is overlooked because they can do the job and produce.  

Danny never wanted to be a deckhand.  He wanted to be a star of this show.  He was never going to do most of the tasks assigned because he envisioned himself as being the star, this was his ticket to the big time, etc.  He's probably watched enough reality tv to see that the outrageous characters can sometimes spin that into a career later for themselves, or at least live comfortably on the D list (or lower).  I'd like to know how many other reality shows he's tried out for before he landed this show.

I also saw somewhere that it may be hard to find a replacement quickly in the Med, given Visas/work permits needed.  You'd think production would have that covered, but guessing that involves money, so maybe not.

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Danny made it a point to let the world know how important it was for his (single?) mom to get Danny's paycheck because she's struggling.

I guess his mom didn't mean that much to him since he got his dumb ass fired.

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Oh yeah Danny, you claim being fired isn't going to affect you being able to get another job as a deck hand .I agree, but you'll be working on a tugboat. 

Edited by chenoa333 · Reason: spelling
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Maybe it's just me, but I actually don't see Bobby as being a "nice guy."  Don't get me wrong, I'm not defending him in the least - I think he's a misogynistic child with zero self-control and an overly-inflated sense of self-worth - but I think his misogyny and lack of respect for women comes across in different ways than the ways it comes across in "nice guys."   Danny, on the other hand, is the one I see as displaying "nice guy" qualities.  His complete lack of boundaries, unwillingness to accept correction or to even entertain the idea that he might be wrong, insistence on his being right and that's what the guests really want, inability to take no for an answer and his instant jumping to play the martyr and to always have to portray himself as the "good guy" and the victim whenever he's told he can't do or have something he wants?  All classic nice guy traits, although not seen in that context.  But the underlying lack of respect for women is there also - there's his repeated casual use of sexist and homophobic insults for one, and there's also that one conversation where the junior deckhand is telling the Chief Stew how to better serve the guests that's about the best textbook example of mansplaining that I've seen in a while.

Back to Bobby.  I thought that his "you're just jealous" line at the tender was actually meant as much towards Hannah as Julia, based on their whatever-that-was a couple of episodes back, as was his dropping the hard c.  Julia started backing Hannah up and was talking when the bar-girl had to get in the cab, so that's who became the target at the moment his rage reached its apex, and because he's a misogynist child, well, the boyfriend and the flirting is where he went with it.  

TL:DR - IMO, Danny's the type of douche who will creep on girls and not take no for an answer and then play the victim when they don't want to fuck him.  Bobby's the type of douche who will end up hitting a woman who says no to him.  

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19 hours ago, Jobiska said:

Okay, gotcha, but I feel like Bryan was in the mix being an officious jerk as well.  Maybe silent and off camera, but he exudes that no matter where he is!

(And I didn't mean drunk-incoherent, but I think my ears go bad when someone is shouting with rage.   He could have been quoting the Oxford English Dictionary and I'd still have translated it as incoherent rage due to the level of his mouth-frothing).

Bobby was on his bunk and Bryan was standing next to him trying to get Bobby to calm down while, yes, being an officious jerk. 

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19 hours ago, hoosier80 said:

Unless the captain was eavesdropping or spying on Bryan, he'd never see what a complete douchebag he is.  He presents himself to the captain and I'm sure when he thinks the captain is around, as all yes sir, no sir, I'm strictly by the books sir.  Hannah and the other women needed to report his harrassment immediately.  Not sure what laws apply since they're not in US waters though.  Bobby had a hissyfit, but not sure how much of his bad behavior was seen by the captain.  

Mark appeared to be right there when Bobby was losing his shit against Danny who was just sitting at the table drinking water.  

But yeah Bryan tells him what he wants to hear.  And the promotion is just TV producer stuff. It makes no sense to take a guy off probation with two days left in the charter season.  Bryan is an employee of Below Deck Med, not of the Captain Mark. 

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I'm not going to take Bryon's word for Jen being incompetent. We only have Bryon's word that her knot is incorrect. He complained to her that her posture wasn't good enough. That he couldn't ask her to do something because she'd have to take a four hour shower afterwards, obviously a lie. He hovers over her every move to look for something to complain about. His obvious misogyny gets in the way of his opinion of her work.

I would really like some people that actually know well a deckhand's job to chime in about how well or poorly she is doing her job.

Early on, she was late one morning and wanted someone to lie about it so she wouldn't get in trouble. This has been her most egregious offense. Certainly not a good thing, but she did get up on her own volition. Shortly thereafter, Danny got to sleep in quite a bit one morning and Bryon didn't even get upset about it. If I remember correctly, Bryon had to wake him up and ask if he could possibly get up to the deck for work.

As far as I am concerned, Jen has been the better deckhand. I really hope the Captain addresses some of this at the reunion.

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On 7/20/2016 at 7:39 PM, jkitty said:

So basically you are saying Jules should have no one-on-one interaction with Bobby, and if she does Bobby is fairly entitled to interpret that as sexual or romantic interest despite her telling him numerous times she has no such feelings for him? Yeah, no.  Jules told Bobby point blank that she was not interested in him. She has been friendly with him in the same way she has with everyone else.  We have not seen her making sexual advances toward him or even verbally hinting she would like a romantic relationship with him. All of the meaning attributed to any "flirting" was in Bobby's head. 

I totally agree that Bobby's a cad and none of his behavior is excusable, but I do actually think she flirted harder with him than the other men -- she stuck her finger up his butt!  I said so at the time and I haven't changed my mind -- not something I've ever heard a woman doing in innocent play with her brother or her brother's friends, just goofing around.  (Not something I'd be tempted to do romantically, either, but...)  

The "nice guy" thing is very real, and Bryan and Bobby are poster children for it, but I do think that for a while there she had a little crush, never intended it to go anywhere, just enjoyed the playfulness, and took a little too long to see a) how he was NOT similarly playing; and b) how her behavior was going to look on television. I can't recall specifics, but didn't the other women call her on it, a bit?  Doesn't make his loutish behavior her responsibility, but I don't think he fabricated everything out of nothing, either.  Except whatever happened after she set him straight -- I do think she was been much more overtly friend-zone with him after that, and if he still read into it, that's on him.

I do think Danny spoke up for the women in one of the first episodes, didn't he?  Somebody called them bitches or something like that and he pointed out that he had a sister and he didn't like that kind of talk?  Might have been the beginning of his alienation from the boys' club. But I remember thinking at the time that it was admirable, because it would have been far easier as the junior guy to just keep his mouth shut.

I liked Ben in this episode.  He's a better manager than the captain, and handled the situation sensibly and kindly. I believe he also worked the word "boys" into one scene that showed very strongly that he considers himself a man among boys.  And he is.

Bryan is unlikely to advance professionally so long as this footage is out there.  Must have been a real dick to production because they could have buried his worst moments, and didn't.  God, at least I hope not.  That hip thrust thing... who would not be fired for that if filmed doing it behind a coworker's back?  

Zoey'smom wrote

Quote

I believe it is pretty much an agreement what goes on on leave stays on leave.  Since they were all under the influence boarding the tender, normal rules don't apply.  Hannah pulled rank and started the downward spiral. 

I think the issue was that what had gone on on leave was about to not stay on leave.  Yes, Hannah pulled rank, but was doing so to save the douchebags' jobs!  

I really can't wait for this reunion, which will inevitably disappoint me, and nobody will be asked to really account for actual specific obnoxious actions and will instead be able to state their regret for "how I came off because I'm really not like that."  If only Bravo gave us reunions where they showed the Bryan humping behind Tiffany's back and asked "So... is that the kind of behavior your next employer can expect from you?"  

Edited by kassa
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On 7/20/2016 at 8:30 AM, ivygirl said:

It bugged me that Ben told Danny needed a job that gave him freedom. How many jobs, professional and entry-level ones at least, give you that much freedom? "Meet and greet guy who answers to no one" is a tough position to come by, and I don't think Danny really deserves to have a job that caters to his sense of entitlement. But maybe Ben meant something else with regard to freedom... Other than "no manager, no responsibility except to do what you feel like while others work"?

I don't know what Ben meant, but I think he was trying to hint that a multi-million dollar charter yacht is just not the place for Danny to learn on the job. There is a strict hierarchy and code of conduct that he doesn't seem to understand. Maybe a Cancun ferry tour is more his speed. But I disagree with Ben, if anything, I think Danny needs more structure. 

 

On 7/20/2016 at 4:39 PM, jkitty said:

So basically you are saying Jules should have no one-on-one interaction with Bobby, and if she does Bobby is fairly entitled to interpret that as sexual or romantic interest despite her telling him numerous times she has no such feelings for him? Yeah, no.  Jules told Bobby point blank that she was not interested in him. She has been friendly with him in the same way she has with everyone else.  We have not seen her making sexual advances toward him or even verbally hinting she would like a romantic relationship with him. All of the meaning attributed to any "flirting" was in Bobby's head. Moreover, if Jules did refuse to have any interaction with him, then she would be a "bitch" and a "cunt."  You can't win with Nice Guys like Bobby because they feel entitled to put their dicks in whomever they want....because their boners are special, damn it. Finally, Hannah was sitting right there while they were playing their instruments.  Then Julia walked away when Bobby got that dipshit look on his face. Jules mentions her boyfriend so much because Bobby clearly does not respect her lack of interest in and of itself, but sometimes Nice Guys like him will back off if they perceive the object of their desire as property that belongs to another man. 

Yes to this!! Julia has repeatedly told Bobby she does not want anything more than friendship with him. She even point blank sat him down and told him to knock it off because his behavior is disrespectful to her and her boyfriend. She shouldn't need Tiffany or Hannah to babysit them. Bobby is entirely in the wrong here. 

Edited by rho
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5 hours ago, Fostersmom said:

The half assed staff goes along with the half assed captain. 

I tend to give the Captain a bit of a break. Something that's stuck with me since the first or second season of the Caribbean show was a comment that Capt. Lee made that was as captain he had two sets of charter guest to deal with: Bravo which included all the non-captain cast and crew;  and then the actual guest that showed up for the charter. I've always taken that to mean that much like the captain and staff on a "real" yacht would look the other way with guest bad behavior and only intervene if there was something going on that endangered a life or the vessel, that's the way the Captain treats the Bravo guests.

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On 7/22/2016 at 0:48 PM, kassa said:

I totally agree that Bobby's a cad and none of his behavior is excusable, but I do actually think she flirted harder with him than the other men -- she stuck her finger up his butt!  I said so at the time and I haven't changed my mind -- not something I've ever heard a woman doing in innocent play with her brother or her brother's friends, just goofing around.  (Not something I'd be tempted to do romantically, either, but...)

Yes, that was the strangest thing I have ever seen.

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On 7/23/2016 at 6:57 AM, zoeysmom said:

When is the Reunion?

The schedule isn't showing one, the week after the finale they are airing the Shahs reunion in its timeslot.

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On 7/19/2016 at 10:43 PM, njbchlover said:

I must have missed that little part of their tete-a-tete - I'll have to watch again.  Whomever said that is lucky they didn't get their face smacked...just as, if I were Julia, I would have punched the oversized teeth right out of Bobby's drunken, filth-spilling mouth when he called her boyfriend a pussy.  WTF?  He's never met the guy, he knows nothing about their relationship or anything about Matty - I'm surprised that Matty isn't booking a flight to wherever it is that Bobby lives (is he from New York?) to just punch his lights out.  Again, what an asshole!  

Her boyfriend is a pussy because Julia won't let it get passed a few friendly talks and laughs? I am so disgusted with what Bobby represents. I'm completely violated just watching. It's like men really do treat women as their own personal entertainment for their enjoyment whenever they deem. He's been creeping around her all season trying his best to reel her in and it just ain't working. And THIS my friends is the reason why you have the bitch faced women as colleagues because here you have a sweet women being nice and befriending Bobby making it clear she has a boyfriend and shit's not going to happen but because she continues to smile and be sweet and friendly to Bobby SHE'S doing something wrong?

I got that a lot when I was overseas with my Marines in OIF. I had a serious face all the time wore sunglasses (cause hello it was HOT and SUNNY) so that just made me look more stern.  All I kept getting was as I walked around camp was, "smile", "why don't you smile", "it's not that bad"...etc. etc. Like the men wanted me to be the sunshine in their day. I had my "guys" that I would chill with, play scrabble, joke kinda socialize but nope. That's it. They few I got real cool with I still had to watch my body language, interactions and I had a few that were interested in me. That's how it is. They try their best to "couple" up in situations like that and half of the girls in my tent by the middle of deployment actually had their male counterparts who they spent all of their free time with. I was naive cause I met a guy early on, he asked if I wanted to go to chow with him I shrugged said sure everyone wants company and companionship. He would call my shop for lunch chow too and I was game. Why not and then all of a sudden he was around my tent looking for me at night (like the other males who were coupled up would do) and started getting comfortable telling me that he didn't like how it looked when I would go out to the smoke pit at night and chill with the group (we deemed it "da block") and had some laughs.. etc. etc. It finally dawned on me that I had been "acquired".

After that, nope! No more friendly, no more chow "dates" I realized men in those situations are way more ruthless and let me tell you he wasn't happy. He kept coming around for a few days after that and kept calling my shop for lunch and I just pretty much cut it off. AND we NEVER even kissed!! I didn't even realize, well maybe a little although I figured I'll keep it neutral and won't give him any reason to think things would go passed friends, it never got further than a few chows and me entertaining one of his visits to my tent and going out to the smoke pit to chill with him for a while. NOTHING intimate ever happened and his possessiveness happened super fast. It was surreal but after that I got a lot of the opposite cause I wasn't planning on confusing anyone else after that and yet still. I even had bunkmates tell me that they get asked about me from the men in their shops asking about why I'm so mean or what's my deal or why I look so mad? In a situation when men outnumber women BY A LOT i get that every women is a super model to them but I do have to admit I am/was above average in that department (sorry, don't mean to sound arrogant) so they really would go on and on about wanting to know my "deal". It was just so disturbing and it just made me that much more determined to stay to myself.  Men really and truly think that they are supposed to be able to extract whatever feminine qualities a women has to offer at their will and benefit from them. Even if it's just in the form of a smile. Like were are there to dress up their day or something. Fuck that. I'm in the same sucky situation you are in and I'm wearing the same uniform, eating the same crap sleeping in the same shitty accommodations. I'm not here to be anyone's Geisha or Pin up girl. Makes my blood boil even now thinking about it and that was over ten years ago.

In Bobby's case he accepts Julia's friendship and nice overtures in the hopes of it going somewhere. He continues to enjoy her pleasant presence and her friendly overtures (the type of shit the guys wanted from me) and that's still not enough. Why? Well that's because he's a man and he should be able to get what he wants COMPLETELY and its so obvious on my screen that I have to keep myself from recoiling whenever he displays his obviously slimy intentions. Ugghhhhh!!!

Sorry for the long OT. This subject just grates my raw nerves.

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The only thing that would have made me happy in this episode would have been if the Captain had sent Bobby, Bryan and Danny home though I obviously understand that was not an option. All three of them acted completely inappropriately, Bryan and Bobby with their aggressive bullying and Danny with his continuing stream of homophobic insults. They are all gross. 

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16 hours ago, biakbiak said:

The schedule isn't showing one, the week after the finale they are airing the Shahs reunion in its timeslot.

Thanks for the help.  I could not find one on the Bravo schedule and thought maybe it was announced.

I don't see anything on the WWHL schedule.  Perhaps it is hard during the high season in the Med to get these folks together.  Although I am quite sure Danny would be available.

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Sometimes they fold these things into a 2 hour regular episode, the same way they'll tack WWHL onto random housewives episodes and you think it's 90 minutes of new show until it ends and WWHL starts.

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Has Bobby said anything specifically homophobic, or was that limited to Danny?  I know Bobby was full of sexism, not limited to calling the women busted simply because he was rejected.

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On 7/19/2016 at 10:39 PM, Barb23 said:

I can't believe Capt. Mark didn't even mention Bobby's blowup & you can't even blame it on alcohol. I was hoping he was going to get canned. He didn't even get a "Bobby I didn't like what I saw last night. I know Danny got to you but you really need to control your temper"  kind of reprimand from the Captain.

They deserve a "Tripod" ticket home - Danny, Bryan & Bobby.

Exactly what I thought when I saw this episode. All 3 were unprofessional.  Bryan and Bobby have no idea how to speak to the staff - they are so disrespectful and they baited Danny into that last argument. Danny broke the rules and deserved to go, but I do not like that Bryan and Bobby got away with their behavior. They should have at least received a warning.

What's funny is that while Danny's behavior is frustrating, he does not behave in a way that shows me that he intends to hurt others. I think Bryan and Bobby like to intimidate others due to their height. They are condescending/disrespectful and that makes them worse in my book.

Edited by trimthatfat
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I don't consider Hannah telling bobby she has 3 stripes to his 2, pulling task rank, it's a fact. In the Caribbean i remember something like that happened but the deck hand is the one who said the stew had ahigher rank. 

 

Bobby is a disgusting disgusting man!

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On 7/25/2016 at 3:51 PM, Eater of Worlds said:

Has Bobby said anything specifically homophobic, or was that limited to Danny?  I know Bobby was full of sexism, not limited to calling the women busted simply because he was rejected.

 

I have a hard time believing that anybody gets THAT offended by being called "buttbuddy" unless they're a bit homophobic themselves.  I mean, if somebody called me that, I'd just laugh and go "how the fuck old are you, anyways, twelve?"  

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1 hour ago, didhugh said:

I have a hard time believing that anybody gets THAT offended by being called "buttbuddy" unless they're a bit homophobic themselves.  I mean, if somebody called me that, I'd just laugh and go "how the fuck old are you, anyways, twelve?"  

Danny has also told him to pull his tampon out and a variety of other choice insults.  Danny time was up.  I think Danny was lucky to leave with his engineered smile in place.  These are guys are sailors.

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5 hours ago, hatchetgirl said:

I don't consider Hannah telling bobby she has 3 stripes to his 2, pulling task rank, it's a fact. In the Caribbean i remember something like that happened but the deck hand is the one who said the stew had ahigher rank. 

I only recall Ben pulling rank on Adrienne. She and Alek agreed their plebs would stay on board even though they had a night off and I think Ben was like "eff that! u dont tell ME what to do" and she was all "ok, yeah." From what I understand chief stew outranks the deckhands but the first mate would outrank her. Correct me if I'm wrong but I think it goes like this:

Captain
First Mate
Chef/Chief Stew
Stews
Deckhands

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11 hours ago, rho said:

I only recall Ben pulling rank on Adrienne. She and Alek agreed their plebs would stay on board even though they had a night off and I think Ben was like "eff that! u dont tell ME what to do" and she was all "ok, yeah." From what I understand chief stew outranks the deckhands but the first mate would outrank her. Correct me if I'm wrong but I think it goes like this:

Captain
First Mate
Chef/Chief Stew
Stews
Deckhands

That's how I interpret the rankings too, except I thought the chef was kind of it's own thing, like the chef is only outranked by the captain. 

So, is Eddie as boatswain the same rank as Bryan as first mate? Why the different names? Different ship sizes?

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1 hour ago, Rebecca said:

That's how I interpret the rankings too, except I thought the chef was kind of it's own thing, like the chef is only outranked by the captain. 

So, is Eddie as boatswain the same rank as Bryan as first mate? Why the different names? Different ship sizes?

I think Chef depends on the type of boat. On a charter yacht like this, Ben probably only answers to the Captain. I have a hunch that Bryan's "first mate" title was more honorary than anything, just a way to drum up drama. Normally a first mate is like a co-captain but something tells me Bryan isn't allowed anywhere near the controls. However, if the captain was incapacitated, then Ben would answer to the first mate.

Bosuns are the dept head of the exterior. Lower rank than the Chief Stew but just above the rest of the stews. Bryan was a glorified bosun this season.

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Thanks! I tried to google about it and the biggest thing I found is that the first mate is a licensed position and boatswain/bosun position is unlicensed.

Edited by Rebecca

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On 7/22/2016 at 8:56 AM, RemoteControlFreak said:

Mark appeared to be right there when Bobby was losing his shit against Danny who was just sitting at the table drinking water.

He made very disparaging comments.  See below.

On 7/26/2016 at 7:50 PM, didhugh said:

I have a hard time believing that anybody gets THAT offended by being called "buttbuddy" unless they're a bit homophobic themselves.  I mean, if somebody called me that, I'd just laugh and go "how the fuck old are you, anyways, twelve?"  

What a difference 3 years make.  What Danny said is a homophobic slur that should be taken seriously.  It should not be laughed off.  It is putting a group of people in a box and stomping on them making them less than human.

Looks like Danny has done next to nothing in these past years.  He is a free-lance deckhand/engineer.  Free-lance for Danny must mean, "Can't keep a job".

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