Snark Talk: Home, Home on the (De) Ranged

[MargeGunderson]

I really wish someone would tell her to lay off the black eyeliner. I can overlook the weird tops if she would just dial down the eyeliner. I think she's worn it like that since the 1980s. Time for a change.

[3pwood]

Ree Drummond is scheduled to be a guest on The View this coming Wednesday (Oct 21).

[maggiemae]

I've never understood why older women like all the black mascara and liner. It does not do them a favor. Dial it down as we age, imo. Good grief

even her daughters look natural.

[MissT]

I agree with the black eyeliner, but I think she really needs to tone down that red hair color.  When she first started on the show, her hair was more brown or auburn.   The current color just washes her out and is not very becoming on her. 

 

Regarding the yogurt making -- I agree, it could be a whole show.  She could make so many things other than what you mentioned.  How about making cheese by scratch.  Ina, Lydia and Martha have done it many times and it's not hard.

[anneofcleves]

I've never understood why older women like all the black mascara and liner. It does not do them a favor. Dial it down as we age, imo. Good grief

even her daughters look natural.

 

Her daughters are beautiful.  

[Fostersmom]

I think her daughter's have tried to get her to tone down the eyeliner, I swear I remember a blog post, but like MANY women her age, she's sticking with the eyeliner she learned when she was like 15. God knows my mom has and so has her much older sister. My mom is 56 and my aunt is 17 years older than her. My aunt actually had her eyeliner tattooed on many years ago. If the little red Maybeline eyeliner pencils are ever discontinued, my mom will be screwed and pissed. LOL!

[grisgris]

At least she's not winging it out at the corners...

[anneofcleves]

Not yet...

[peacheslatour]

 

I remember the first time I tuned in, I'd never heard of her before and was expecting some "Little House on the Prairie" type set-up. Boy, was I wrong.

So was I when I first heard about her.  I got one of her recipes by googling something once and I thought she was kind of a hoot.  Then I watched her show and was appalled.  I thought she was going to be some kind of back to the earth type, showing us how to make fresh bread, do canning, grow your own vegetables-that kind of thing.

 

About her "look", I've never seen my husband take such an instant dislike towards any woman like he has with her.  Ever.

And another thing, I would much rather watch Ladd and Co. do the ranching than watch her throw cans of stuff into a pot and call it "cooking".

[maggiemae]

I am so tired of Ladd asking the kids "are you hungry?"

And Todd say "this is the best....."

And her speaking and sitting there with her smile never moving - it seems plastered on and never moves whether in laughter, relaxing etc.

The snake prank, and guessing games at the table, crappy products that she used and sells, let alone her recipes, ingredients....I just can't anymore.....

Plus her limp steaks or chicken, not even searing the meat even if BBQing outside -let alone allowing it to rest. A little carmelizing of meat/poutry is good and it can still be rare on the inside. THIS - on a cattle ranch.

And her eyeliner can be a pretty brown rather than black, imo.

Edited October 19, 2015 by maggiemae

[Automne]

Aside from the serious lack of actual cooking from somebody using the term "pioneer" to name herself, it's the hamfisted attempts to portray this white bread of white bread Oklahoma family as wholesome. So much secondhand embarrassment, especially the time they had Alex and her friends sing "Amazing Grace" during their backyard party. As if a bunch of kids are singing Christian hymns when left to their own devices.

 

And the Drummond Ranch Family Games. It wouldn't be so bad if that were a longstanding family tradition, God only knows that big close-knit families have some hokey-ass traditions, but it was clearly created for the sake of the show.

 

It just seems so hollow and fake to me.

[film noire]

I am so tired of Ladd asking the kids "are you hungry?"

 

 

Me, too (Especially since I'm pretty sure the unspoken part after "Are you hungry?' is  "For our freedom!" -- just waiting for the episode where Ladd paints his face blue, grabs the kids and tries to breach the invisible fence Ree set up.)

Edited October 19, 2015 by film noire

[Fostersmom]

I always figured Amazing Grace was a public domain song, able to be used without having to fight for it. 

[maggiemae]

I saw Ree on The View today....evidently to promote her new book. She presented how to make meatballs (basic recipe) and a stupid marinara sauce.

But the point was to freeze the meatballs and then pull them out later and serve them with different flavors of sauces - marinara, Asian and who knows what since the show never allows enough time. Think there may have been a Polynesian sauce as well from the 2 second attention on the table and examples.

Not sure if the shows fault or her not presenting the premise of the book or even if that is the subject of the book.

Not a bad idea - hey, she could market packets or bottles of different sauces for this!

[Kohola3]

And her speaking and sitting there with her smile never moving - it seems plastered on and never moves whether in laughter, relaxing etc.

 

I can't tell if she has had some sort of botched surgery or a birth defect.  She always has a crazy clown face.  And I hate clowns.

[IOU Payne]

 

Not a bad idea - hey, she could market packets or bottles of different sauces for this!

 

Except for the fact that her sauces aren't original creations, but amalgamations of other sauces.  Like her spaghetti sauce that used jarred spaghetti sauce as one of its ingredients.  Or her barbecue sauces that contain both commercial BBQ sauce and ketchup.

[Lura]

I think that idea of Ree coming out with sauces and spices is genius.  She could put the sauces in Mason jars and the spices in packets with pictures of iron skillets or cows on the front -- all made in China, of course.  At the top of her show, where she tells us all the things she is, she could add one more occupation! 

Edited October 23, 2015 by Lura

[WhitneyWhit]

Aside from the serious lack of actual cooking from somebody using the term "pioneer" to name herself, it's the hamfisted attempts to portray this white bread of white bread Oklahoma family as wholesome. So much secondhand embarrassment, especially the time they had Alex and her friends sing "Amazing Grace" during their backyard party. As if a bunch of kids are singing Christian hymns when left to their own devices.

 

And the Drummond Ranch Family Games. It wouldn't be so bad if that were a longstanding family tradition, God only knows that big close-knit families have some hokey-ass traditions, but it was clearly created for the sake of the show.

 

It just seems so hollow and fake to me.

I've long thought the same thing. Ree is sort of an evil genius when it comes to marketing her show that presents itself as "safe" for a certain demographic. "Look, we go to church", "Look, we don't eat fancy foods", "Look, we don't have guys arranging flowers on our show", "Look, our kids sing Amazing Grace at sleepovers", "Look, I cook out of a box and can just like everybody", "Look at our big 'Murica made trucks", I'm not saying there's anything wrong with some of the things I've listed, just that Ree really knows how to appeal to a certain demographic and get the masses on her side.

[HyeChaps]

I work in a large bookstore.  Image my shock and dropped jaw when I saw Ree's new book on the nonfiction bestseller shelf.

[grisgris]

I secretly wish that in the future that somebody will drop a bomb and write an expose' on life on the ranch. Reveal secrets like the kids really didn't do any ranch work and that it was all staged for TV. As soon as the cameras stopped rolling, the brood hopping into air-conditioned limos stocked with cold drinks and were whisked off to a real school in the "city." The stunt cook who penned recipes for the likes of Sandra Lee is really the evil genius behind Ree's cookbooks and MORE!

 

The author needs to be a stealth-shocker, like Paige. Or a disgruntled insider like Hyacinth.

 

Ree's new cookbook is on an end-cap at my local WalMart in the book department. That section is tucked way in the back of the store, overshadowed by the electronics department. Also, her line of dishes and other crap that's up front in Housewares has barely moved at all in the six weeks or so that it's been there. It looks like the best-selling item is the flatware.

[autumnh]

Today's new episodes has to be one her most delusional episodes ever.

 

What college student has room for a big ass waffle makers, a fridge with enough room for ham, pineapple, cheese, counter space to press out dough...plus washing it in the bathroom sink......aww hell...it's easier to just go to Little Ceasars.

 

She totally just recycled the oatmeal recipe from last week...and that Ceasar Salad...May & Dijon? what?

 

Tea kettle ramen...now that is a new idea...not! I was using my electric tea to make ramen in college decades ago. 

 

How the hell does she stay on the air? 

Edited November 7, 2015 by autumnh

[CMH1981]

How the hell does she stay on the air?

 

She...well the Drummond Cattle Co...pays for her show.  Food Network basically just has to air it, so they really aren't out that much money unlike other shows that the FN produces and pays for the talent and everybody else...plus she brings in her already built in fanbase.  I guess being part of a family that is filthy rich has it's benefits.

[maggiemae]

For me this show has turned into the endless game shows the network aires. In this case it how many ways can Ree guild the lily recipe with 10 extra ingredients added.

[Lura]

I went to Ree's website to write her an email about today's show, but it looks like she's shut down the email link.  Whether that's because she's received too much snark, or whether it's because she's away on her book tour, I don't know.  I do know that I'm WAY too cheap to spend the postage to send her a letter!  LOL

 

After watching today's episode (college food), I'm all the more certain that Ree's doctor forgot to cut the umbilical cord when Alex was born. Ree just can't stand the thought that her daughter is 8 hours away from home.  I imagine Alex has already written a "Dear Mom" letter, begging Ree never again to film a how-to about college life, especially about cooking in a cramped room.  Poor Alex!  Now it's no secret that Ree sometimes has a screw loose.

[WhitneyWhit]

I went to Ree's website to write her an email about today's show, but it looks like she's shut down the email link.  Whether that's because she's received too much snark, or whether it's because she's away on her book tour, I don't know.  I do know that I'm WAY too cheap to spend the postage to send her a letter!  LOL

 

 

I imagine her emails evolved from "So glad you got your own show" to "That recipe looks familiar" to "What's wrong with you?".

[Lura]

I only wrote her one email.  I know you ladies will never believe it, but it was about a blouse she wore.  I wanted to get one like it.  I'd never seen the blouse before, and I've never seen it since.  It wasn't like her usual blouses, and it was quite plain but pretty colors.  She never answered.  If she ever does another show like yesterday's, and if I have all the time in the world to write, I might write her another email that will make her wish she'd left the email button turned off forever.

Just kidding.

[anneofcleves]

People, she's far too busy, busy, busy to respond to emails!  She's working on her new series, "Pioneer Doorknock Dinners"!

 

In the show, Ree rides up to someone's house riding a tamed mustang, or a steer, or a horse-drawn covered wagon*, and prances up to some unsuspecting homeowner's front door and offers to make them dinner in their garage (or barn if they're lucky enough to have one!) using nothing but a waffle iron, a car battery, and a pair of jumper cables! 

 

*Focus groups are presently being conducted to determine which form of transportation would be most closely correlated with the urge to buy Pioneer Woman dishes at Walmart.

Edited November 10, 2015 by anneofcleves

[peacheslatour]

 

I imagine Alex has already written a "Dear Mom" letter,

Dear Mom, thanks for the cake in a mug recipe.  Lets see;

Flour, which I don't have, sugar, okay I might be able to dig some up, cocoa powder, nope, baking powder, nope, milk, okay, vegetable oil, wtf?  Vanilla and chocolate chips. Uh what?  Ya know what mom?  You know what I do have?  A box of Ho Ho's under my bed!

Love,

Alex

Edited November 10, 2015 by peacheslatour

[Lura]

Peaches, you are on a roll!  LOL

Edited November 11, 2015 by Lura

[grisgris]

I was waiting for a friend who was doing some nearby browsing in WalMart last evening and decided to kill time by looking at Ree's new cookbook. For starters, the list price is $29.95 (but it's 30% off at WM.) The very first recipe I opened up to was the chili she made just by dumping random cans of ingredients into a pot. I thumbed through the rest of the book and the recipes were everything we've already seen on the show. Save yourself a few bucks and get the recipes for free at the FN site -- IF anybody is interested in making any.

 

I wonder if Ree took all of the photographs for the book. Each recipe is several pages long because it is painstakingly (re: boring) broken up with step-by-step photos. Also the photos weren't of the quality that I've seen in most cookbooks. (I'm looking at Ina. Her recipe photos are the gold standard!) I don't know if it's the paper or type of ink/varnish that's used on the pages, but everything has a slightly blurry (gauzy?) overlay. I guess the aim was to make the book look rustic or vintage or something.

 

Won't be on my Christmas list!

 

Another WalMart bonus... when you walk into the grocery area from the parking lot, there is a life-sized cut-out of Ree and the tie-in is "Ree's Thanksgiving grocery list." (or something similar.) My friend who was with me was initially startled because at first he thought it was an actual person standing there.

Edited November 14, 2015 by grisgris

[anneofcleves]

Another WalMart bonus... when you walk into the grocery area from the parking lot, there is a life-sized cut-out of Ree and the tie-in is "Ree's Thanksgiving grocery list." (or something similar.) My friend who was with me was initially startled because at first he thought it was an actual person standing there.

 

Scary - I hope your friend is OK.  A life size cutout of Ree could induce a heart attack with her crazy clown hair and creepy smirk.  So I'm dying to know what's on her Thanksgiving grocery list, especially now that she has become Queen of Walmart.  

 

I do hope she incorporates her new favorite NYC street food, falafel, into the meal.  But it's more likely she'll save that for Christmas.

Edited November 14, 2015 by anneofcleves

[CMH1981]

 

now that she has become Queen of Walmart.

 

I wonder how WM feels when they watch her current shows the have her cookware on display and you see she is using ingredients that come from Target and Best Choice...not Great Value.

[grisgris]

Hey, guess what? There's another "Thanksgiving Live" coming up next Saturday night (November 21.) This year's cast: Ree, Nancy Fuller, Damaris Phillips, Giada, Bobby and Guy. This sounds like comedy gold!  It still needs the resident curmudgeon though.... I guess that Alton is done. Geoffrey Z? How about Anne Burrell?

[chessiegal]

Hey, guess what? There's another "Thanksgiving Live" coming up next Saturday night (November 21.) This year's cast: Ree, Nancy Fuller, Damaris Phillips, Giada, Bobby and Guy. This sounds like comedy gold!  It still needs the resident curmudgeon though.... I guess that Alton is done. Geoffrey Z? How about Anne Burrell?

It's not live. It's recorded.

Edited November 16, 2015 by chessiegal

[grisgris]

Oh, is it a repeat? I guess I missed it last year.

[CMH1981]

I think chessiegal means that it's not actually live, it's just made to look that way like all reality crap.  They probably recorded it earlier this month and just had pre-recorded callers who needed Thanksgiving tips/help.  I could be wrong though.  I think Ree posted last year about being in NYC to record the program last year and her blog postings didn't match up w/the actual day of event.

 

I do wonder how FN is able to control all those egos when they tape that monstrosity.  Everyone thinking they are a better chef/cook than the other....oh to be a fly on the wall seeing all of the eye-rolling, dirty looks, and comments.

 

If only FN could get Ree to appear on "Cutthroat Kitchen" so we can see the Pioneer Woman put her nifty down-home roughing it cowgirl style to the test...although FN probably knows how weak she is and how she would damage her brand.

Edited November 16, 2015 by CMH1981

[grisgris]

Ugh. I'm sorry. The title is "All-Star Thanksgiving," so what chessiegal was saying makes perfect sense. (I guess it was just wishful thinking on my part! LOL!)

[anneofcleves]

I remember Ree on one of those show from a year or two ago.  The A-list hosts (Giada, Alton, and Bobby) were acting like drunk, popular kids at the prom trying to out-talk each other.  Not quite cool kid Rachael Ray (or was it Ina?) was trying to not roll her eyes at their antics.  Ree, clearly the C-lister who was sitting off by herself like a kid playing along at cooking while her mom is cooking, was feverishly working on her world-famous bacon-wrapped Club cracker appetizer.

Edited November 16, 2015 by anneofcleves

[Qoass]

 

I do wonder how FN is able to control all those egos when they tape that monstrosity.

 

I'm thinking wine...

[Lura]

OK, kiddies, put on your thinking caps.  This is home schooling, and I have a question for you.  Answer the question correctly, and you get 100 points and a dried cow's head for your kitchen wall.  However, if you groan over the answer, deduct 10 points, and no dried cow's head for you this time.

 

Ready?  As Ree would say, OK!

 

Question:

Does anyone know what happens next week, just about a week from today?  THINK!

 

The answer is: Alex comes home for Thanksgiving!  She's only 8 hours from home, but what do you want to bet Ree sends a private jet down for her?  That way, Alex will get home to Mama's loving arms all the sooner!  I wonder whether Ree urged Alex to bring home any girls who can't get home for the holiday.  That way, Ree can show off for the girls, live and in living color!  I see turkey enchiladas coming up.

 

Do we have any winners, guys?  Oh, I LOVE this game!

Edited November 17, 2015 by Lura

[peacheslatour]

I think I just saw  a new WalMart commercial with her real family in it.  Maybe they got the message about how phony the first one was.  I mean that one had black people in it, come on.

[ariel]

I saw that too. Is that pale pasty looking guy seated next to her Ladd, her husband/Marlboro man who she has often referred to (on her blog)  as a strapping stallion?

Edited November 17, 2015 by ariel

[grisgris]

Uh, yeah.

[chakajo]

And what is wrong with having black people?

[peacheslatour]

And what is wrong with having black people?

Not a damned thing, I just doubt she knows any.

[chakajo]

Not a damned thing, I just doubt she knows any.

Okay did not want to upset anyone. I an sorry. I agree she does not know any unless you count Ladd's friend from college.

[peacheslatour]

Okay did not want to upset anyone. I an sorry. I agree she does not know any unless you count Ladd's friend from college.

No worries, chakajo.  My favorite aunt died back in Sept., she was a real piss and vinegar type, a red-hot feminist and utterly fearless tiger woman.  Ever since she died, I swear some of her saltiness has materialized in me.  I can't explain it any other way.  It's like I'm filling in for part of the hole it left in our lives.

[chakajo]

No problem

[Aquarius]

No worries, chakajo.  My favorite aunt died back in Sept., she was a real piss and vinegar type, a red-hot feminist and utterly fearless tiger woman.  Ever since she died, I swear some of her saltiness has materialized in me.  I can't explain it any other way.  It's like I'm filling in for part of the hole it left in our lives.

 

I am sorry about your aunt, peacheslatour.  Sounds to me like a pretty good hole to fill, though.  :-)

[ariel]

Uh, yeah.

 Ladd is looking more like a gelding than a stallion.