Snark Talk: Home, Home on the (De) Ranged

[film noire]

From recipes to Ree to the ranch,  this is the place for Pioneer Woman snark -- so pour yourself a lemonade, serve yourself a sheet pan of oven toast and set awhile (all credit to grisgris for one of the most inspired topic titles ever).

Edited April 8, 2014 by film noire

[Viqutorious]

This was a good idea so we don't offend her fans.

[Viqutorious]

Question: Can I post why I think this show is popular due to politics?

[Lisin]

Sure CheeseBurgh, I don't see why that would be a problem. As long as the snark is about the show and not posters we should be fine in general. I think the only time there are issues is when we make it about the fans and not the show. Does that make sense? 

[Viqutorious]

Yeah. I appreciate that. I think I will hold off for now.

Still trying to get my bearings. Thanks so much!

[orchidgal]

I was at the grocery store today and while looking at the food magazines I had a truly horrible thought: why hasn't Ree gotten her own magazine yet?  After Rachael Ray, Sandra Lee, and Paula Deen, it's only a matter of time, isn't it?  *Shudder*

[chessiegal]

Is Sandra's magazine still in print? I know it folded for awhile. I don't see Paula's magazine at the check out counter like I used to. I assume it's still ongoing since she has such a large fan base. Starting magazines these days has got to take some work. You need sponsors and staff, because not one of these people comes up with all the recipes featured in them. I'm not sure Ree's blog base is big enough, nor worth her while, to go with that. But yeah, I too cringe at the thought of a Pioneer Woman magazine. How many recipes from the back of boxes and church and Junior League cookbooks can they feature? Weirder things have happened.

[3pwood]

I too cringe at the thought of a Pioneer Woman magazine. How many recipes from the back of boxes and church and Junior League cookbooks can they feature?

So far, she's got enough of them for 3 cookbooks.

[Viqutorious]

She is more powerful than you imagine. She is the number one show on FN and has the top 3 selling cookbooks this year.

I don't understand it, she doesn't cook anything you can't find in Family Circle.

[mojito]

 

I don't understand it, she doesn't cook anything you can't find in Family Circle.

People don't read like they used to.

[orchidgal]

 

I don't understand it, she doesn't cook anything you can't find in Family Circle.

Or on the side of a box of "X" product.

 

Is Sandra's magazine still in print? I know it folded for awhile.

Apparently Aunt Sandy found a way to get the magazine up and running again, because I have seen it in the stores recently.  Not so sure about Paula Deen, though.

Back more on topic, I still can't understand why so many people love the Pioneer Woman and her silly recipes.  Just go to the library or a garage sale and get some old community and church cookbooks, put Alvin and the Chipmunks on TV while you cook recipes from them, and Voila!

[Bella]

Maybe she goes to the James Lileks Gallery of Regrettable Food for inspiration: http://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/index.html

[monkeybread]

You might be onto something Bella. I remember when I discovered that web site I laughed so much. Next thing you know she will break out those molds and really start going crazy. 

[Tahitigirl]

So season 1, episode 1 aired this afternoon. It opened with Ree gathering herbs from her huge raised bed garden. From there it progressed to incessant comments about cowboy food, tons of butter, cream, and whole milk while preparing chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, gravy, and a marinated tomato salad. Ree's hair wasn't as red, her face was shiny from doing her own make-up, she was noticeably thinner, the kids were cute, and Ladd made his first pass at eating vegetables. In the next segment we were treated to Ree making breakfast sandwiches and taking them to the family working cattle. And don't forget Ladd eating the sandwich with his work gloves on. Ugh. It ended with a plug for her blog, just in case there were some viewers who weren't aware of her online presence. I remember watching it the first time and being so very disappointed. The only appealing thing for me was the tomato salad and it was relatively uninspired. It's amazing to me how highly rated this show has become. Sadness....

[mousie]

I watched this S1/E1 today too. I thought that it was a little more real and not as contrived as the newer episodes. Ree looked more like a normal person and not overly made up or styled. The kids were a lot younger (of course) and cuter.

But, TahitiGirl, I thought that Ladd refused the tomato salad.

This episode was titled "Gathering Cattle". Overall, it seems like they are just repeating the same things over and over and the recipes are certainly not getting any better after 3 seasons.

[Tahitigirl]

"But, TahitiGirl, I thought that Ladd refused the tomato salad."

Yes, sorry for the confusion. I was trying to say that he didn't eat vegetables for the first of many times.

[orchidgal]

 

"But, TahitiGirl, I thought that Ladd refused the tomato salad."

 

Yes, sorry for the confusion. I was trying to say that he didn't eat vegetables for the first of many times.

 

Perhaps Ladd thinks he gets all of his vital nutrition from the earth from eating with his gloves on?

[Lillybee]

There are some things that she does with her recipes that confound me. For example, why use breakfast sausage in Italian dishes like lasagna and calzones? Why use parm from a jar, when making Italian hamburgers?

[mousie]

There are some things that she does with her recipes that confound me. For example, why use breakfast sausage in Italian dishes like lasagna and calzones? Why use parm from a jar, when making Italian hamburgers?

 

I know, breakfast sausage already has seasonings in it (sage is particularly strong), so then she added Italian seasoning which would just conflict with the original breakfast sausage flavor and isn't the same flavor as you would find in most Italian sausage anyway. Then she made some stupid comment like "why am I using breakfast sausage instead of Italian sausage, I can't tell you". You are hosting a cooking show, you should be able to provide instruction. Gah! I should really stop watching this. It's like FN told her to watch the SLop reruns to pick up tips.

[ShellSeeker]

Ree does do alot of things that don't make sense, but she does have the episode where she makes a bunch of freezer meals, which is such a great idea. I did it about 6 months ago, and I did it again today. 20 meals in the freezer by the time I was done. Quite a marathon, and I'm completely exhausted, but it's so worth it. So great for busy weeknights. I didn't use any of Ree's recipes....I have a ton of freezer recipes of my own, plus, none of her stuff is particularly inspiring.

[Automne]

Just watched the "The Building" episode. A lot of episodes seem to be scraping the bottom of the barrel, but an episode consisting of a club sandwich, a salad, and a double-chocolate chip cookie? If you ever had a club sandwich and a Greek salad, you can figure out how to make it. Those are not dishes that need dedicated time on a cooking show.

[Lisin]

In general I get really annoyed with shows that give me sandwich recipes. I feel like I can just wing that and it will be fine, it's just a sandwich! 

[monkeybread]

Yeah a club sandwich wow, let me get the recipe. And not to knock Jeff who actually makes interesting takes on sandwiches. 

[film noire]

“I’m a writer, blogger, photographer” (and a puppet, a poet, a pirate, a pawn and a king). Her intro has always seemed like one huge poker tell to me. In the creation myth of the Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond has erased her real history (never a word about the privileged upbringing) and draws the curtains on her current life in OnePercentville (jes’ a humble ranch wife, is all!) and plays the throwback l’il lady swooning all over her menfolk and chilluns and kitchen bowls every chance she gets (as if real ranching and 'country' folk are all still living in 1952, liking Ike and building bomb shelters in the back forty)  but hot damn, lookee here; the first three labels she slaps on herself in the intro are all about Ree (what husband? what kids? what ranch?) At the end of the intro, she squeezes in mom and “accidental country girl” (as if it happened to her without any personal agency  – like a Harlequin romance – oh, how fucking canny she is)  but her first introduction to her audience is all about her, independent of any of the perfectly staged, retro domesticity she’s about to hang around our collective necks like a paper mache albatross.

All of which (to me) means the woman is, despite her eerie, intriguing (and by intriguing I mean the feeling that comes over me watching shows that magnify cheese mites or skin flakes a million times) and annoying performance of a pre/anti/non/zombie feminist housewife, Ree Drummond actually is libbed up juuuuust enough to work both sides of the lady road whenever it butters her bread and ego, making it clear to her viewers from the get go that she is first and foremost not a ranch wife or mom -- or even accidental country girl! -- but a writer, blogger and photographer. (So god bless feminism -- free to be you and me -- or even somebody else altogether if it sells enough cookbooks!)

Edited April 30, 2014 by film noire

[Viqutorious]

I think the last episode should be called "Killing Miss Edna" How much cream, cheese & butter should you feed a 90 year old?

[ShellSeeker]

I think the last episode should be called "Killing Miss Edna" How much cream, cheese & butter should you feed a 90 year old?

 

Ha ha!! I was actually OK until she made the cheese toast and waffles. OMG. 3 kinds of cheese, mayonnaise, and butter. And then a whole stick of butter in the waffles. OMG. The cheese toast doesn't seem like it would freeze well. It actually was a sweet idea, and I do quite a bit of freezer cooking myself. She could also have skipped the heavy cream in the soup too. And those lasagna portions were pretty huge just for one person. My 6'5" hubby could polish one of those off with no problem, but that's a pretty huge meal for a little old lady.

[Lisin]

@Queasy-bo I was thinking the same thing about the lasagna portions! My 90 year old grandfather would eat one of those roll ups, not 3! Depending on health restrictions and stuff though the amount of fat in there didn't bother me. Sometimes it is really hard for elderly people to keep weight on so maybe for a healthy 90 year old with no cholesterol problems it isn't a big deal? I'm also guessing (or hoping) that those meals aren't all the poor woman has or she's going to be really sick of soup and lasagna really quick! 

[Bella]

 

Sometimes it is really hard for elderly people to keep weight on so maybe for a healthy 90 year old with no cholesterol problems it isn't a big deal?

 

At the assisted living facility where my MIL lived her last 2 years, they had 24-hour access to a wide range of desserts, including ice cream bars. Any resident with a cholesterol problem was already on drugs for it, and everyone else kind of thought they deserved the desserts for having lived good, long lives.

 

But mayo and cheese and butter all in one dish squicks me out.

[Lisin]

But mayo and cheese and butter all in one dish squicks me out.

Me too @Bella! Me too. I'm not a big mayo person in general and it always squicks me out when people bake with it. I know it's ok and all but it gives me the squicks badly for some reason. 

[Viqutorious]

This show at times borders on satire for me. She layers fat on fat..butter, sour cream, mayo, cheese, bacon & cream cheese can all be found in one recipe.

Her show reminds me of the breakfast scene in Pleasantville.

[ShellSeeker]

Sometimes it is really hard for elderly people to keep weight on so maybe for a healthy 90 year old with no cholesterol problems it isn't a big deal? 

 

Yeah, that's true. I guess I'm just conditioned to use all that stuff sparingly, so when I see Ree piling it on I'm just appalled.

 

 

I'm not a big mayo person in general and it always squicks me out when people bake with it. I know it's ok and all but it gives me the squicks badly for some reason. 

 

It's probably because we all know what happens when you do things like leave a big bowl of potato salad out in the hot sun. Yeesh! I don't generally bake with mayo either, except for one specific thing I make that uses it. 

[grisgris]

Is Ree sporting hair extensions? It seems like this season her hair is longer and fuller and a prettier color. Just wondering. The latest show was deja' vu. Hasn't she made pulled pork, baked beans and coleslaw at least once before? She used canned baked beans and bottled barbecue sauce.

[mousie]

 

Is Ree sporting hair extensions? It seems like this season her hair is longer and fuller and a prettier color.

 

Hi grisgris, I watched a season 1 repeat a couple of weeks ago and there is definitely a difference. She's still wearing the same fugly tops though.

[film noire]

 

She's still wearing the same fugly tops though.

Her wardrobe is truly, truly fugly, and beyond unflattering. And since I know she's over-produced and manufactured to within an inch of her life, I'm dead certain she's had plenty of style advice -- but she's still the worst case Stacy and Clinton never got their little fashionista paws on -- I can't stand the woman, and even I feel pity at the sight of her.

 

That turquoise shirt she wore on the "Beat the Clock" episode? My mother had that same damn top in 1974 and wore it as a swimsuit cover up when we all went to Family Swim before dinner (and my mother considered it barely --barely! -- sportable for THAT, rushing to the car in fear the neighbors would spy her legs and her wacky shirt and then wonder what crazy levels of shameful hell our household had descended into).

 

And the endless parade of Drummond's "Madame Blavatsky does an ectoplasmic table read" earrings? STOP IT. 

 

It's like her sense of fashion is the human equivalent of those damn loaves she mutilates into the magnificent culinary event that is "oven toast"; overloaded, overworked and still dull as hell.

Edited May 21, 2014 by film noire

[film noire]

Also --  in what demented universe are calzones and marinara sauce the "perfect hot summer meal"? (Really? Calzones? The kind of thing I eat in the dead of late fall, when the skies are grey? Or in winter, when hearty dough and melty cheese and tomato-y sauce -- the kind that makes the tender, soft skin right under your bottom lip all chapped and dry the next day -- tastes like heaven? Or even in spring, when there's still a hard nip in the wind? But -- wha wha whathe fuck -- calzones in July? And not a spicy, Tex Mex take on the calzone -- to at least bring on a sweat -- no, just basic calzones as summer food. SUMMER FOOD? HEY! FUCK OFF, WATERMELON AND SLICED TOMATOES AND BARBECUED BURGERS AND CHILLED POTATO SALAD, REE'S SERVING UP HOT DOUGH.)

 

Oh, for fuck's sake -- go try on another swimsuit cover-up, Ree.

Edited May 21, 2014 by film noire

[tabloidlover]

It's really irritating when she repeats the same thing over and over throughout the show. It's a half-hour, for fuck's sake. I think I can remember that you are making TWO dinners - one for your family and one for Josh. Sheesh - does she have that little to say, or does she think we are slow? Drives me nuts!!

Edited May 24, 2014 by tabloidlover

[Viqutorious]

She called the calzones a light dinner!

[mousie]

That's funny because I just saw part of an episode of Extra Virgin (I think it was last week) where Bourdain was their guest, forgot what they cooked though.

 

Bourdain would probably be happy with a grilled ribeye. The grilled corn on the cob with red pepper butter from yesterday's repeat looked pretty good too.

 

She should just avoid anything made with a milliion cans and seasoning packets. Definitely not the Chicken Spaghetti (yuk).

[film noire]

 

I'd love to see an episode where Ree has Anthony Bourdain over for potluck.

 

Well, here's a sneak peak at the Bourdain voiceover on his show about his visit to Reeworld:

 

"I've been to a lot of places on this planet. Some of them have been as ugly as my mood after a three day bender. I' ve eaten things no boy who grew up in New York City could ever expect to eat -- and I lived to survive many a damn family casserole, I'm no frickin' neophyte, here -- from the ass end of a reptile to the soft fatty blubber of a seal, I've manned up and put it in my piehole. And in the end, lived to tell the tale.

 

But not today, friends; not today.  Today, I stand defeated.  Because this "food" -- served by an entitled, rich redhead claiming  to be a pioneer woman, fresh out of the lux suburbs of first world America  -- this food is so wrong in every way food *can* be wrong, I stand defeated.  From the chicken spaghetti -- so-called because even the most decorated Marine would be too chicken to eat it -- to her crazed abuse of a french bread in the oven, the food sucks. Sucks like nothing has ever sucked before; sucks in taste, texture -- and most of all, sucks in spirit, the spirit of the thing her greatest crime. Nothing genuine, nothing from her own soul, just recipes lifted and passed off as her own -- all wrong.

 

Even the butter and booze couldn't fix it. And that I have lived long enough to discount the saving grace of booze,  in making all things edible, truly means my day has come and gone. Hell has frozen over and frozen dinners are now the food of the gods -- stick a fork in me, I'm a slice of oven toast."

 

...or something like that:)

Edited June 3, 2014 by film noire

[MissT]

Eaudefussy ---- omg I thought the same thing.  Anthony must have written that himself.   It was an excellent description that he would have definitely written.  I love his show on CNN by the way.

Edited June 3, 2014 by MissT

[Viqutorious]

She does nothing original, she keeps repeating recipes, and omits measurements from her narrative.

Who would think the most popular cooking show on TV would be about a woman driving her dirty truck around Oklahoma?

[emma675]

I was working frome home for the past two days so I got a chance to catch this "cooking" show and I don't think I can watch it again. I have never before argued and yelled at the tv during a cooking show, but I did with this one (and scared the hell out of my poor dog).

 

One episode I saw had Ree making garlic mashed potatoes and she included 3 whole sticks of butter, a block of cream cheese, what looked like a dozen heads of roasted garlic, whole milk and heavy cream. She kept saying that it was 10 pounds of potatoes and would feed 17 people, but I still had a heart attack just watching it. It looked like potato soup when she was done.

 

Another episode featured her walking around in her pantry showing us some of the staples of her kitchen, including cans of baked beans, jars of marinara and barbecue sauce, and jars of chocolate sauce. HOW IS WALKING AROUND IN A PANTRY SHOWING US PREPARED FOODSTUFFS A COOKING SHOW?!?!

 

I can't watch this show ever again, even for the snark factor. My blood pressure can't take it.

Edited June 5, 2014 by emma675d

[Hildegard802]

 

Who would think the most popular cooking show on TV would be about a woman driving her dirty truck around Oklahoma?

 

Which is another problem I have with this horrible show.  These hard-workin' ranchers are so freaking CLEAN all the time.  Those vehicles should be covered in dust 24/7.  The clothes should sport at least some modicum of dirt.  The $500 boots should have just a little scrap of dried cow dung on the heels. The whole damn thing from the food on down is just one big pile of bullshit (and not even the true and real actual bullshit).  What the hell is the appeal?  Her crooked mouth, blue Fossil earrings, swimsuit coverup tops, cheesy dialog, grating voice, entire family of bad actors and the contents of cans dumped in bowls and pots?  Every single "dish" she makes looks like cat gak and probably tastes like it, too.

 

"Because it's how I roll.  It's my perogative.  This makes me very happy.  This is so yummy.  Oh my gosh.  Oh my goodness." --Ree Drummond, culinary philosopher 

Edited June 7, 2014 by Hildegard802

[LucyEth]

just finished watching the end of an episode  called "Spring Burning".  The family comes home with pretty dirty hands and faces.  Ree comments that they smell like smoke and they should go wash their hands.  In the meantime, they sit down and start eating the filthy faces.  Stupid!  I don't care for this show, don't care for what she cooks. It's usually an automatic channel changer.

[HyeChaps]

Ree is the author (or at least her name is on the cover) of several books for children about her dog Charley.

[BitterApple]

I like Ree well enough, but I'm dumbfounded as to how her show is so successful when she just recycles and repackages the same recipes over and over. Yes, her stuff is church potluck, but it's not even GOOD church potluck. I can make recipes from the back of a Campbell's soup can too, where the hell's my show?

Also, yes, I agree that Ree is wearing hair extensions. I don't remember her hair ever being that thick.

[monkeybread]

Holy crap, I just learned how to chop an ice burg lettuce into wedges! Wow! 

[Diane M]

I just watched the same show.  I remember those iceburg wedge salads being very popular in Illinois when I grew up.  Usually they were topped with French dressing.  I think those steaks were overloaded with butter......fried in oil and butter, then topped with large patties of herb butter.  I guess none of Ree's meals are what I'd call healthy.

[WhitneyWhit]

There was way too much oil in that pan. And cowboy butter? Why does everything have to be prefixed with cowboy?

 

I am fascinated by the fact that her tone and facial expression never changes, regardless of what she's doing or saying. She has that same monotone voice and that grin that makes her look like Jigsaw.

[BitterApple]

My father would be rolling in his grave with the way Ree prepares beef. If he were still alive, Ree's tenderloin drowning in Cajun seasoning would have sent him over the edge!