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Small Talk: I Like Them All, I Just Can't Choose!

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Ladyrain

Ladyrain

Bronx Babe, I'm so sorry for your loss.  Even when you know it is coming, the pain of losing one's mother is unbearable.  I hope you can find some measure of solace in knowing you did everything possible for her and that her last days were lived out in such a peaceful and loving environment.  Hopefully your brother will find it in his heart to re-bond with you, but if that doesn't happen, you know you've done all you could.  You are in my thoughts, with hopes for strength and peace in the coming days....and months.  ???

zoemom

zoemom

Bronx Babe - my heart hurts for you, I'm so sorry.  There's not much I could say that will make you feel better right now, but after reading all that you shared with us, your mom was blessed to have you as her amazing daughter.  (Please note LR, this is the true meaning of the word "Amazing")  You did the very best for your mom and made sure that she would spend her last few days on earth in a pain free, peaceful, loving environment with you by her side. 

Kittygirl said that you will be aware of your mom's presence with you in the days to come. I'm sure that you will.  The day after my mom passed, I took a long walk.  I noticed a Monarch Butterfly fluttering about.  I walked 2 miles and that butterfly kept dodging in and out in front of me, as if it were keeping me company.  I believe this butterfly is my mom's spirit.  I've had multiple situations since then, generally when some type of significant change was going on with me and mysteriously a Monarch butterfly seemed to cross my path every time.  Coincidence, I think not.  While I will never truly get over my mom being "physically gone", I do find comfort in knowing that she's always with me in my heart and soul.

Know that you will be in my thoughts, take care.

seahag

seahag

(edited)
On 6/11/2017 at 5:18 PM, lovemesomejoolery said:

My opinion is yes, inform him.  What he chooses to do with that information is on him.  By telling him, you remove yourself from the situation between your mom and him, and let him decide how to react.  You won't have to feel guilty about not telling him or wonder if you did the right or wrong thing by not telling. 

At that point, you will have done your part and then some.

((Bronxoni & Mom)))  I agree completely with LMSJ.  You can't control his reaction, but you will rest easier knowing that you did the right thing.  Praying for all of you. ❤️

Edited by seahag
Posted before I read everything. (((Bronxoni))). I know your heart is breaking. Praying for you.❤️
Coffeecup

Coffeecup

12 hours ago, Fishy said:

I just have to say somewhere that my heart bleeds for the family of Otto Warmbier. 

That is a terrible story -- he's been in a coma for over a year?  So far, all I could find out from the news reports was that he got botulism in the North Korean prison, and when they gave him medicine he went into the coma. I hope he survives.

zoemom

zoemom

3 hours ago, Coffeecup said:

That is a terrible story -- he's been in a coma for over a year?  So far, all I could find out from the news reports was that he got botulism in the North Korean prison, and when they gave him medicine he went into the coma. I hope he survives.

Otto's story breaks my heart.  I feel so bad for his parents, (he's from my hometown).  He arrived and was transferred to the hospital last night.  What the local news reported this a.m. isn't much different from what has been already said, the North Korean's said that he contracted botulism shortly after his trial in March of last year and he was given a "sleeping pill" and slipped into a coma which he's remained.  It's so tragic that one silly impulsive act may end up costing him his life.   The parents are going to have a news conference tomorrow, hopefully we'll find out more.  I hope that they will be able to do something for him now he's home.  Praying for his family.

Bronx Babe

Bronx Babe

20 hours ago, averagejane said:

Bronx Babe.....so sorry for your loss. Prayers for you.

Thanks so much, @averagejane

Mom passed peacefully as I was sitting in her room.

21 hours ago, imisspuddy said:

My dearest BB,

I am so very, very sorry. I am so glad that you were able to get her into hospice and also to speak with your brother.  Rest knowing you did everything possible to make your mother as comfortable as possible. My deepest condolences.  May God's strength and peace see you through.  Thank you for allowing us to share this time with you.   xoxo

@imisspuddy  Thank you my friend -- your words comfort and lift my soul.

Bronx Babe

Bronx Babe

5 hours ago, Virgo Gal said:

@Bronx Babe my deepest sympathies upon your mothers's passing. No matter hole old you are, when your Mom dies you become an orphan. It sounds like you were able to bring peace to her last days and I am glad your brother did respond. 

Thank you so much, @Virgo Gal  I thank God my mother was with me for so long.  Up until Mom was around 92, she was still driving her car! 

8 hours ago, Snark Byte said:

BronxBabe, I am so sorry for your loss! I lost my mother almost exactly a year ago in similar circumstances, so I completely feel your pain. (((hugs)))

@Snark Byte  Please accept my deepest sympathies on the loss of your own dear mother.

Thank you for your warm thoughts.  I hug you right back.

9 hours ago, Coffeecup said:

BronxBabe, I am so sorry about your mother. Praying for her eternal peace, and comfort for your loss.

Byteme, it's distressing to learn that your mom has such a short time left. I am so sorry, and I pray that her passing will be pain free and peaceful.

@Coffeecup  Thank you so much for your support, it means a lot.

Bronx Babe

Bronx Babe

10 hours ago, seahag said:

((Bronxoni & Mom)))  I agree completely with LMSJ.  You can't control his reaction, but you will rest easier knowing that you did the right thing.  Praying for all of you. ❤️

Blessings upon you, @seahag  Thank you so much, my friend.  I do feel at peace knowing I spoke to my brother.

14 hours ago, MichelleAK said:

I'm very sorry for your loss, Bronx Babe. My thoughts are with you. Take care of yourself.

Thank you so much @MichelleAK for your kind words. 

Bronx Babe

Bronx Babe

15 hours ago, zoemom said:

Bronx Babe - my heart hurts for you, I'm so sorry.  There's not much I could say that will make you feel better right now, but after reading all that you shared with us, your mom was blessed to have you as her amazing daughter.  (Please note LR, this is the true meaning of the word "Amazing")  You did the very best for your mom and made sure that she would spend her last few days on earth in a pain free, peaceful, loving environment with you by her side. 

Kittygirl said that you will be aware of your mom's presence with you in the days to come. I'm sure that you will.  The day after my mom passed, I took a long walk.  I noticed a Monarch Butterfly fluttering about.  I walked 2 miles and that butterfly kept dodging in and out in front of me, as if it were keeping me company.  I believe this butterfly is my mom's spirit.  I've had multiple situations since then, generally when some type of significant change was going on with me and mysteriously a Monarch butterfly seemed to cross my path every time.  Coincidence, I think not.  While I will never truly get over my mom being "physically gone", I do find comfort in knowing that she's always with me in my heart and soul.

Know that you will be in my thoughts, take care.

Oh, @zoemom  Your generous words have touched me deeply.  Thank you so much my friend.  I too believe in those kinds of signs and I have absolutely no doubt the butterfly is your mom's spirit, always hovering close by, never truly leaving you.

15 hours ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

I'm sorry.  I wish you strength and peace.

So sorry Byteme.

Thank you so much, @SuprSuprElevated  I'm doing my best to stay strong, but also allowing myself to grieve and let the entire process play out.

15 hours ago, Rustybones said:

So sorry for your loss, Bronx Babe.  Your Mother's last few days must have been peaceful.  You made the right decisions to make her comfortable.  Please know you are in my prayers.

@Rustybones  Your words are such a comfort to me.  Thank you.

Bronx Babe

Bronx Babe

17 hours ago, Ownedbydogs said:

I am so sorry for your loss  You are in my thoughts and prayers.

@Ownedbydogs  Thank you so much for your comfort and support.

17 hours ago, kittygirl said:

Been traveling and just saw your sad news @Bronx Babe. I'm so very sorry. I believe she was aware  of your presence in her final days. I also believe you will be aware of her presence with you in the days to come. The bond you have with her truly never goes away.

Oh thank you so much, @kittygirl  I hope things are going well for you.  I told @zoemom that I do believe in signs from our loved ones and will be on the "lookout" for one from Mom.  

18 hours ago, Julie hunter said:

I am so, so very sorry.  

Thank you so much, @Julie hunter  The amount of support from all of you means a lot.

Bronx Babe

Bronx Babe

18 hours ago, walnutqueen said:

My condolences, Bronx Babe.  Mere words cannot express the depths of my empathy for your loss.

@walnutqueen, blessings to you.  Thank you so much for those thoughts, I am very touched.

18 hours ago, imarocker said:

So sorry Bronx Babe, I know it is really awful right now. 

Thank you so much, @imarocker  I am in good company with so many people here who have and are undergoing similiar circumstances.

18 hours ago, PearlClutcher said:

Oh my BB.  I'm so very shocked and sorry.  You're in my thoughts friend. 

@PearlClutcher my friend, thank you so very much.  You are a comfort.

Bronx Babe

Bronx Babe

19 hours ago, hummingbird said:

just catching up,

and saw this,   I'm a big believer in offering the opportunity, or however we want to phrase it,  let the other party take the opening. 

<3

may her memory be a blessing

Thanks so much, @hummingbird, for your kind words.

19 hours ago, Fishy said:

So very sorry to hear of your Mom's passing.  May you find comfort in this your greatest loss.  {{Hugs}} to you now and going forward. 

@Fishy dear friend, much thanks to you for your warm, caring support and kind words.  I feel those wonderful hugs.

19 hours ago, Ladyrain said:

Bronx Babe, I'm so sorry for your loss.  Even when you know it is coming, the pain of losing one's mother is unbearable.  I hope you can find some measure of solace in knowing you did everything possible for her and that her last days were lived out in such a peaceful and loving environment.  Hopefully your brother will find it in his heart to re-bond with you, but if that doesn't happen, you know you've done all you could.  You are in my thoughts, with hopes for strength and peace in the coming days....and months.  ???

@Ladyrain  Your words give me comfort and peace and I thank you so much for them.

SuspiciousMind

SuspiciousMind

Oh, BB -- I'm so very sorry.  Please remember to take care of yourself in these coming days ... it's easy to forget to eat or stay hydrated and that makes things worse.

And to all of you who have mentioned hard situations in these pages, my love goes out to everyone who is hurting.  I wish we could all do a group hug.  :(

Bronx Babe

Bronx Babe

2 minutes ago, SuspiciousMind said:

Oh, BB -- I'm so very sorry.  Please remember to take care of yourself in these coming days ... it's easy to forget to eat or stay hydrated and that makes things worse.

And to all of you who have mentioned hard situations in these pages, my love goes out to everyone who is hurting.  I wish we could all do a group hug.  :(

@Thank you so much, @SuspiciousMind  Unfortunately I've never been the type not to have an appetite, even under the most traumatic circumstances I'm ashamed to say.  I do normally drink a lot of water (seltzer actually) and try to follow a low-carb, low glycemic food program most of the time.  For some strange reason I'm craving pizza right now.  This was one of Mom's favorite foods.  

Mom was on a perpetual diet for about 70 years.  She was always trying to find the "magic" formula for losing 30 pounds but this never kept her from being active (she loved playing tennis and travelling the world) and engaged in life. 

Please add me to the group hug.

20 hours ago, Lady J said:

I'm so sorry for your loss. May your mom Rest In Peace, and you find the strength to get through these difficult days.?

Thank you so much, @Lady J for your kind words.  I so appreciate them.

Bronx Babe

Bronx Babe

20 hours ago, lovemesomejoolery said:

@Bronx Babe - my deepest sympathies to you.  I feel honored that you have shared all that you have with us, so please know we are here for you.  Peace and strength for you in the days ahead, my friend.

@lovemesomejoolery Thank you so much, my friend.  I'm the one who feels honored to be able to share these personal experiences with all of you.  It's a comfort as well as a joy for me.

21 hours ago, TexasTiffany said:

Bronx Babe, I'm so sorry. Your decisions were right. 

Thank you so much for that, @TexasTiffany  Blessings to you.

Bronx Babe

Bronx Babe

22 hours ago, Byteme said:

So sorry. My Aunt has 1 to 2 weeks left they say,,..cancer. She is like my second mother. So I'm there with you.

She will always be with you. 

Oh, @Byteme I'm so sorry to hear this news about your second mother.  My thoughts and prayers go out to both of you.  May she have a peaceful and pain-free transition.

Bronx Babe

Bronx Babe

(edited)
On 6/13/2017 at 4:57 AM, zoemom said:

BB - I was thinking about you last night as I watched one of my most favorite movies, My Fair Lady on TCM.  I was only five when it came out, it was the first "real" movie I attended.   My mom always had a 'crush' on Rex Harrison and was a huge fan of any movie where Audrey Hepburn was featured.  It really is a timeless story and every time I watch it, it brings back warm memories with my mom.  Our first "girls day" was that movie.

I'm so pleased to hear about your conversation with your brother, hopefully you and he will be able to reconnect.  It's strange sometimes how a family member's serious illness/death can bring other members of the family back into the fold.  My dad's brother (my uncle) had a falling out with my dad soon after the death of their father.  It was over something quite silly, my grandfather revised his Will, he wanted my parents to receive an additional $500 dollars from his estate, due to the fact they were in town and had spent a great deal of time taking care of him, making meals, driving him to chemo appointments. My aunt*(his wife) and my mom had "words" about this, a huge squabble took place and they hadn't spoken to each other for almost 15 years.    When the doctors determined that my dad wasn't going to get any "better" my brother called him just to let him know.  My uncle came down the next day to talk and visit with dad. Fortunately in the early stage of his illness my dad was able to talk with my uncle, they were both so sorry that such an silly issue had robbed them of precious time.  However he and my aunt sat with us when my dad went through surgeries and we reconnected. They live about six hours from me, but we keep in touch through e-mail and they have invited us to come for a visit this summer.  It's strange how this works, I'm just sorry for both of them because they lost all those years all due to a so small and silly issue.

@zoemom  All I can say is that your mother had great taste in movies (plus actors and actresses) and she passed this down to you! What a wonderful bonding experience with My Fair Lady the two of you had!  Nobody did adorable and elegant like Audrey Hepburn.  As for Rex Harrison, he is such a delight as 'enry 'iggins.  Did you or your mom ever see The Ghost And Mrs. Muir?  Major hunkiness with Rex as Captain Gregg! 

All families are crazy in their own way. (not sure if I'm paraphrasing Dickens, Jane Austen, or some classic Russian author)  All I know is that I'm glad I contacted my brother and that he called me back. 

Edited by Bronx Babe
Where is that soggy plain?
SuprSuprElevated

SuprSuprElevated

new-chevrolet-bolt-autonomous-evs

I haven't heard one single person, of any age, say that they're anxious to own a self-driving automobile, yet all we keep hearing is how the motor companies are forging their way into this segment.  I firmly believe that the insurance industry/lobby is pushing this with all of their considerable might, with the idea that this will save them money on accidents. I have my doubts.  I know that I won't always be able to drive, but I love to do it, and with all of the hacking of digital technology, I can hardly see how this could be considered a safer/less expensive way to go.  But I'm old so...

MichelleAK

MichelleAK

30 minutes ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

new-chevrolet-bolt-autonomous-evs

I haven't heard one single person, of any age, say that they're anxious to own a self-driving automobile, yet all we keep hearing is how the motor companies are forging their way into this segment.  I firmly believe that the insurance industry/lobby is pushing this with all of their considerable might, with the idea that this will save them money on accidents. I have my doubts.  I know that I won't always be able to drive, but I love to do it, and with all of the hacking of digital technology, I can hardly see how this could be considered a safer/less expensive way to go.  But I'm old so...

I'm on a list to respond to questionnaires regarding automotive issues, and the two most recent polls were about self-driving (or partially self-driving) vehicles. As I noted in the polls, I'm very leery about a fully automated car. As I get older, I do appreciate many of the newer safety features. My current car has blind spot notification, a rear view camera and cross-traffic notification. If I turn my current car in at the end of its lease, I may go further and get one that has some automatic braking features. Even with that, though, I'm too much of a control freak to completely turn over all operations to my car, at least at this time. Maybe in 15-20 years, and after any known problems are ironed out (and I'm 15-20 years older!), I'll change my mind.

SuprSuprElevated

SuprSuprElevated

1 minute ago, MichelleAK said:

I'm on a list to respond to questionnaires regarding automotive issues, and the two most recent polls were about self-driving (or partially self-driving) vehicles. As I noted in the polls, I'm very leery about a fully automated car. As I get older, I do appreciate many of the newer safety features. My current car has blind spot notification, a rear view camera and cross-traffic notification. If I turn my current car in at the end of its lease, I may go further and get one that has some automatic braking features. Even with that, though, I'm too much of a control freak to completely turn over all operations to my car, at least at this time. Maybe in 15-20 years, and after any known problems are ironed out (and I'm 15-20 years older!), I'll change my mind.

I figure I've got 25-30 years of driving left, depending on a lot of factors.  I shudder to think what lies ahead in this arena. I picture myself being driven around by an invisible chauffeur, which could be cool, but then I always have the image of a semi smashing into the side of the car because the car's brain had a fart and pulled out in front of it.  There I go, overthinking again.

walnutqueen

walnutqueen

@Bronx Babe - you need to take some time for yourself.  All this internet/friend feedback is delaying the inevitable - the only human being who has known you since your inception is gone.  I realize we all grieve differently, and i respect however you need to get though these dark days, but your life has shifted in an incomprehensible way, and we traverse this strange path as explorers in a new inexplicable universe.  Please don't get so wrapt up in sharing your experience that you forget how to feel it for yourself.

lovemesomejoolery

lovemesomejoolery

(edited)
10 minutes ago, ennui said:

Starting in 2018, all cars will be required to have rear view cameras. 

I think self-driving cars will be a lot like an attraction at Disneyland. Think of the little cars in the Haunted Mansion ride, only without the track.

My car s three years old, equipped with a  rear view camera.  I still don't trust the thing - I have to physically turn my body, as taught in driving school, to check for other cars.  That said, the big old sticker on the display, along with the instructions in the manual, say to NOT rely on it solely.  My attitude about it then becomes "Why have it at all?".

Where it does come in handy is in a crowded parking lot - the thing beeps when something comes into view, like a person walking behind you that you didn't see or another car coming out fast from a parking spot.  For that, I find it useful.

Edited by lovemesomejoolery

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