All Episodes Talk

[Lura]

Just like Aunt Sandy will always be remembered for her Kwanza cake, and Paula Deen will be remembered for her hamburger between doughnuts, Ree will forever go down in history for this overdone milkshake.  She's made some gross-looking food in her time, but nothing will come close to this sickening concoction.  And to think that she urged one of her kids (Toddie) to drink it up!  Nauseating.

txvoodoo, feel better soon!

Edited March 5, 2018 by Lura
add-on

[Kohola3]

8 hours ago, Lura said:

Ree will forever go down in history for this overdone milkshake. 

I would definitely vote for it as the worst she's ever concocted.  That thing is just gross.

Edited March 4, 2018 by Kohola3

[Sweedish Fish]

Still trying to figure out why she stuck saltine crackers to the side of the thing.

[Kohola3]

9 minutes ago, Sweedish Fish said:

Still trying to figure out why she stuck saltine crackers to the side of the thing.

"Because I can."

[Westiepeach]

28 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

"Because I can."

Beat me to it! ?

[grisgris]

I just watched yesterday's "Ask Ree," episode and couldn't make it all the way through.

I noticed that most of the questions came either from ranch employees or people who Ree already knows. How interesting (and fair) is that?

I call something fishy (literally.) I swear that Ree wrote in her memoir that the first meal she ever cooked for Ladd was pasta primavera and he either didn't like it or wouldn't eat it. Who cares?

Also, if a person invites you over for dinner, why would you feel that etiquette rules state that you offer to cook? WTF? A man is capable of inviting a woman he is dating over for dinner and actually planning/cooking/serving the meal himself.  Apparently, Ree's men and women gender-role-identity stereotypes/issues have deep roots.

Honestly, I would rather have Ladd grill me a steak (even drenched in butter, seasoning salt and lemon pepper!) than eat linguine with creamy clam sauce. I have never ever made linguine with clam sauce with cream and didn't even think that was a possibility. I use olive oil, maybe a touch of butter, white wine, the clam liquid and lemon juice with plenty of garlic and fresh parsley.

The last thing I remember was her crowing over cubing up a mango and how "pretty" it was before I deleted the episode.

I guess then the murders began?

[anneofcleves]

I can’t believe Ladd married her. She adds cream to linguini with clam sauce.  One of the most perfectly simple pasta dishes, and she, predictably, adds cream.  I’m surprised she didn’t add bacon.

Edited March 5, 2018 by anneofcleves

[Kohola3]

27 minutes ago, anneofcleves said:

I can’t believe Ladd married her. She adds cream to linguini with clam sauce.

Maybe he never ate it. Not exactly cowboy food.  Those manly types go for chowing down on beast.

[Lura]

15 hours ago, grisgris said:

I guess then the murders began?

Yup, but I think there's some confusion over when they actually began.  Did he commit the foul deed when he learned what she was cooking?  Or did she do him in when he merely picked at the meal?

This also begs the question: Was it a double homicide because each was so angry with the other?   Or was it a double suicide because each felt so badly about disappointing the other?  It taxes the brain beyond the breaking point to figure all of this out.  I guess we should say that the murders began, and let it go at that.  What a mess!  (The meal, not the murders).

Edited March 5, 2018 by Lura

[grisgris]

1 hour ago, Kohola3 said:

Maybe he never ate it. Not exactly cowboy food.  Those manly types go for chowing down on beast.

The rest of Ree's story was that "Ladd was being a good new boyfriend and ate it." (paraphrasing) So, I guess he managed to choke it down.

[peacheslatour]

3 hours ago, grisgris said:

The rest of Ree's story was that "Ladd was being a good new boyfriend and ate it." (paraphrasing) So, I guess he managed to choke it down.

I'd do anything for love. But not that, never that.

[grisgris]

[film noire]

Bugging me all day: The "Ask Me anything" show -- did anybody else notice that when Ree showed her array of supposedly preferred plum (blue undertone) lipsticks, there were three or four deep brick red (with an orange undertone) lippies in the mix?

What the hell? IS THAT SHIT?

(I know that's an insane overreaction to make-up, but it pisses me off that she didn't know the difference -- at least now I understand why she picks such off toned shirts. hair colour, and  blush for herself).

[grisgris]

I noticed that, too.

[Lura]

Wouldn't you love to see the array of hair coloring dyes  Ree has squirreled away in her bathroom?  Brown, auburn, copper, rosey poesy red, pure red, pure orange, fire orange, blonde orange, coral, magenta, Daddy's Little Girl pinkish orange....

Edited March 9, 2018 by Lura

[sATL]

 re: Apple Granola Stackers ( link ) from a repeat shown on 3/17/18 :  Someone tell me how is one supposed to eat this assembled???? Even her son looked puzzled when she was wrapping the tower in plastic wrap. I'm currently on a health kick and didn't get why one needed to add sugar. If this is  meant to be a dessert /super sweet- mix the loose granola and cinnamon and sugar in a bowl first.

This recipie was shown after she cracked 20 eggs for muffins ( link )..  seems a little excessive.

Edited March 17, 2018 by sATL

[Lura]

 Since they'd slide apart when you tried to eat them, I think these unclever little things should be called "slippers" or something equally odd.  Taste-wise, I vote NO on anything combining p.b. and cinnamon.  Just NO.  Go back to the drawing board on this one, Ree.  These little slices might be fine for a three-year-old's hands, but (surprise, surprise!) your kids are grown up now and are perfectly capable of holding on to a whole apple all by themselves!

Edited March 18, 2018 by Lura

[peacheslatour]

19 minutes ago, Lura said:

 Since they'd slide apart when you tried to eat them, I think these unclever little things should be called "slippers" or something equally odd.  Taste-wise, I vote NO on anything combining p.b. and cinnamon.  Just NO.  Go back to the drawing board on this one, Ree.  These little slices might be fine for a three-year-old's hands, but (surprise, surprise!) your kids are grown up now and are perfectly capable of holding on to a whole apple all by themselves!

Sloppers.

[Lura]

Sloppers!  I'd give that one high marks, Peaches.  Unless anyone has another idea, we'll dub these things "sloppers." Let's add a patty of meat so we could call it a beef slopper, a fish slopper, etc.  Besides, what goes better with pb and cinnamon than meat? 

Now, what about THE milkshake?  I'd go for the In and Out Gagger myself (or just the Gagger)because it's covered with sh** in and out, but other suggestions from this brilliant team are welcome.  Imagine the bright folks of Pawtuska going to their local slop shop:  "I'll have a Beef Slopper, a Gagger and a barf bag to go."

Edited March 19, 2018 by Lura

[peacheslatour]

In-N-Out Gagger- I love it! That concoction reminds me of Friends when Rachel mixed a shepherd's pie recipe with a trifle recipe:

"What's not to like? Custard: good, jam: good, meat: goooood."
 

[film noire]

12 hours ago, Lura said:

(or just the Gagger)because it's covered with sh** in and out, but other suggestions from this brilliant team are welcome.  

 

I love The Gagger! -  sounds so close to a real product, and because of that, so gross -- could we add a seasonal milkshake to the line?   (Maybe The Hot Gagger -- with a warm slice of pumpkin pie pureed in the milkshake - and in the commercial Ree uses the Hot Pockets tune: "Hot Gagger!") 

 

Quote

a fish slopper

Again, this sounds so much like an almost-product, it's twice as gross (well done, Peaches & Lura! -- you've created Uncanny Valley Food!: ) 

Is it a deep fried filet of fish nestled between those layers, or ceviche?

Edited March 20, 2018 by film noire

[Kohola3]

Ceviche doesn't scream Ree to me.  Definitely deep fried but rolled in hot peppers first.

[grisgris]

Can  you imagine a tartar sauce Ree would make?  You know it would be heavily doused with Tabasco or sriracha. Hottar Sauce?

[peacheslatour]

I'm surprised the Drummonds don't keep pigs. Most of the crap Ree makes is more fit for them than humans.

[Lura]

film noire, what a brilliant idea to come up with a seasonal Gagger!  HA!  Only you would have thought of that!  The possibilities are endless, and I can't wait to read what you'll come up with! 

The sauce, the sauce!  Love your ideas, grisgris, and you might toss in a little buncha horseradish just for texture, you know.  (My bold key is stuck.)  Sounds like a great menu! 

[film noire]

On 3/19/2018 at 5:08 PM, grisgris said:

Can  you imagine a tartar sauce Ree would make?  You know it would be heavily doused with Tabasco or sriracha. Hottar Sauce?

LOL   (and the bacon version is called Trotter sauce  ; )

This is ridiculously fun.

I'm imagining us making all this crap in the tiny kitchen -- here's the s'mores fish slopper! -- all we need to add is a filet of crispy-skinned trout caught by one of the kids!  (Or dogs.)

Edited March 21, 2018 by film noire

[Lura]

Brilliant!  Little Harry Haystack could get his Slopper with a choice of sauces -- Hotter or Trotter!  I especially love the name Trotter because I read that in the old days, diarrhea was called "the green apple trots."  PERFECT for the "apple burger!"  LOL  So, the Hotter Slopper Sauce contains sriracha, etc., and the Trotter Slopper Sauce has horseradish added.  Great thinking, ladies!  Those Sloppers should send anybody running for the loo-loo, just like Ree Ree's would.

Far be it for me to complain, but I just have a feeling that something is missing, like a side.  You know, like fries at a burger joint.  You know that Ree cannot have a meal without (1) black pepper and plenty of it, {2} lime juice, and her Holy Trinity of cumin, dried chili pepper and paprika.  So I'm thinking of a couple of things -- and you think of yours.  One is white potato fries and sweet potato fries.  The other is dill pickles done on Ree's spiralizer.  You take gigantic cucumbers, run 'em through the spiralizer, then marinate in white vinegar, lime juice, dill, and her Holy Trinity.  Curly Pukey Cukes.  Or two potato salads incorporating the cukes and spiralized onions, and all sorts of wicked things.  Something like that.  Or neither.  What do you think?  Should we offer a side?  If so, what?  Open to all suggestions. THIS slop shop is going to put the others out of business!  We're all going to be richer than Ree without having to fuss with cattle (unless we want to include Rocky Mountain Oysters on the menu, too)!  They could be added to the pot salads.

We're gonna be busy little bees in our tiny little kitchen, wearin' our special aprons and hair nets, with customers lined up all the way to Tulsa!  The Merc deli will be out.  of.  business!

[peacheslatour]

For a side dish she could make her famous Sleepin' In Omelette. Just tear up some hamburger buns and put them in a casserole dish with a several thousand lumps of artery clogging cheese (cheddar and cream cheese) twelve sticks of butter, cover it in milk and four dozen eggs. Let in sit in the fridge for a month or two until it's really gloppy and pop it into the oven. Feeds two.

[Lura]

Love your punch line, Peaches -- "feeds two."  LOL

When I mentioned Ree's favorite ingredients, I forgot to add likker.  Any kind -- beer, wine, brandy -- any flavor, as long as it's likker.  If your heart is set on that Drowning Omelet, I'd toss in 1/4 cup --(2 cups in Ree's book) --  of rum.  And we're really going to be goin' through a lot of milk between the Gagger and the Omelet.  Got any ideas, Peaches, about where to find a couple of dairy cows to tie up near the back door?  An ybody know how to milk one?

[patty1h]

After reading the suggestions for nightmare recipes, I just got a picture in my head of Ree making a special breakfast for one of the boys: a bowl of oatmeal with a slice of apple pie on top, then her topping it off with a slice of cheddar cheese and a dollop of whipped cream.  I could see her doing something like this w/o a hint of embarrassment.

[peacheslatour]

Cheddar Jack with jalapenos ftw.

[Lura]

OFF TOPIC

Fell yesterday  aft. at dr's office when somebody pulled my wheelchair away.  Fractured shoulder, upper arm, collarbone area in 3 places -- and little toe.  Passed out from pain.  911 took me for a ride and I was in ER for 6 hrs.  My poor husband.  I give him too much trouble.

                                        ----------------------------

Of course cheddar jack, Peaches.  Don't we all know by now that it melts faster?

Edited March 22, 2018 by Lura

[peacheslatour]

Oh Lura! That's awful! I hope you are on the mend. I guess if you have to get messed up, a doctor's office is the one of the better places to do it.

[Kohola3]

Oh, man, you poor thing!  You must be just miserable.  Can we make you a monster shake to cheer you up?

[peacheslatour]

11 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

Oh, man, you poor thing!  You must be just miserable.  Can we make you a monster shake to cheer you up?

And then the murders began.....

[grisgris]

{{{Lura,}}} I am so sorry to hear about that. Sending healing vibes your way!

[ariel]

Lura - I hope you feel better soon.

[txvoodoo]

Lura, sending you all the healing wishes!

[HyeChaps]

Lura, I'm sending a buncha good wishes for your smooth recovery. 

[IOU Payne]

Lura, sending you healing vibes.  Feel better soon, and a daily dose of snark has been proven to promote feeling better.

[Lura]

Thanks a lot, IOU, and to everyone else who sent good wishes.  Love you all!

[LillyB]

Lura,  I hope you recover quickly.

[Lura]

TY, LillyB.  ;)

[patty1h]

Was it my imagination or was today's menu not too bad?  Unless I blinked and missed something, the lasagna and kale salad weren't the usual food abominations.  Ree could have slacked off on the cup of cream in the lasagna white sauce, but the rest... not that bad.  The salad also looked pretty normal - not adorned with any Tex-Mex seasonings, or hot sauce splashed around.  I would even say that the dessert and drink didn't make me roll my eyes.  What is happening?

[grisgris]

The Real Housewives of Pawhuska!  (no, wait ... I guess they were from Tulsa.)

Yeah. I agree with patty1h, the menu wasn't that terrible. The only miscue was I thought at first that Ree was making lasagna and using grilled zucchini in place of regular lasagna noodles and my thought was how weird that was going to taste.  (For the record, I still thought it was weird to add the layer of grilled zucchini very last when assembling the lasagna. I am not really sure what that added to the final dish, other than what Ree excitedly explained, "It's MORE green!" /whatever

What was off-putting by the episode was that it obviously was some type of PR arrangement between the Oklahoma Thunder (should really be called Tornadoes but not much I can do about that!)  The interaction between the three women was terrible. The coach's wife acted like she didn't want to be there and the player's wife is just a step away from earning the "Stepford" title. Before Ree brought it up, I knew immediately that they were both transplants and had never set foot in Oklahoma.  Anyway, I didn't buy for one moment that the three were BFFs and I'll bet the second basketball season is over, both the coach's and player's families have their bags packed and are ready to go back to wherever "home" is.

I get that if your husband is allergic to shellfish, then no, don't serve shrimp around him. I've known people who've gotten deathly ill just by being around the shells or liquid they emit during processing and cooking. It was just the woman's demeanor. Maybe I will give it a pass and just say that her very zombie-like demeanor was due to being an exhausted mother of an infant. Also, chilly chemistry between her and the coach's wife.

The DIY dessert hearkened back to the infamous "Eton Mess," disaster Ina served at her expensive cookbook promotion charity luncheon starring Alec Baldwin and Mariska Hargitay a few years ago.

Actually, Ree really does quite well as a narrator. (Not suggesting she apply for the "Iron Chef" floor commentator gig ... ) But explaining what the other women were doing gave her something to focus on and talk about without having to fill time with boring monologues and awkward humor. It also forced Ree to give more specific instructions about recipe ingredients, too.

Finally, wrist-slapping to Ree for continually referring to her guests as "the girls."

[chessiegal]

47 minutes ago, grisgris said:

Finally, wrist-slapping to Ree for continually referring to her guests as "the girls."

Cannot stand grown women referring to grown women as "girls". As someone who worked in a technical position at General Electric in the 70s, hearing my boss tell other bosses that he would have his "girl" call their "girl" - referring to their secretaries/admin assistants, made my blood boil. I and they are not a girl - I/they are a woman.

Edited March 25, 2018 by chessiegal

[film noire]

Lura -- how awful! -- good thoughts coming your way for a speedy recovery (and while recuperating on the sofa, maybe watch Ina for awhile? ; )

[Lura]

Aw, thanks, film noir.  Good suggestion, too!  Love IG.

[MerBearHou]

On 3/23/2018 at 1:58 PM, Lura said:

Thanks a lot, IOU, and to everyone else who sent good wishes.  Love you all!

You have friends near and far sending you support and wishes for swift, smooth healing.  Sooo very sorry to hear this happened to you, Lura. 

[Lura]

What a nice thing of you to say, MerBearHou.  It will take 2 yrs. to heal, says the doc, because the centers of my bones are so soft.  Pins won't work, and neither will a cast for the same reason.  Pain relief is all I care about.  I keep telling myself that everything will work out if I can be patient and that this is nothing more than one more hurdle in life to get over.  We all have hurdles of some kind.  Friends like you, with encouraging words, mean more than anyone can know.  XO