S03.E02: The Weddings

[Snarklepuss]

I think women especially need to "work into" being attracted to a guy.  So often it takes a while before I ever find a guy attractive.  I remember one guy when I was in high school who made a fool of himself to go out with me.  I thought he was short and ugly at first but something changed somewhere along the line and I suddenly found him attractive as both a person and a man.  I think that's the wisdom in the frog/prince fairy tale and the song "it's in his kiss" - sometimes a woman needs to kiss (or figuratively kiss) what she sees as a frog before she suddenly sees him as her "handsome prince".  It's kind of like a "transfiguration" of sorts.  It happens a lot with women - It even happened with Jaclyn last season.  I can only hope it will happen with Sam and Ashley.

[BunnySlippers]

When they talked about the participants having to fill out Dr. C's awesome questionnaire, you could see a little bit of the questions on the tablet David was using, and I noticed it asked about hair color and hair style. So I suppose they do ask those kinds of questions. Which makes it even more eyebrow-raising that they pair women with guys who are not their type. I don't know if it's because the women don't answer the questions truthfully or because the experts are too desperate to find someone to match to these women.

 

I also saw elsewhere that David had asked for a woman with a good sense of humor. He definitely didn't get that in Ashley.

[BunnySlippers]

I agree with MsPh that these women are really picky on surface attributes and that may be one reason they're still single.  I don't think I ever thought about specific physical attributes like hair or eye color, just if a guy felt right to me or had that "somethin' somethin'" that goes beyond all that.  Also, I hate to say it but I think the internet gives young people the false idea that they can meet anyone who fits their laundry list of "requirements" to a T just because they can flip through thousands of photos of single guys online and see many that fit those requirements.  Well, it's not realistic that out of those thousands you will be able to meet just the exact one that fits all those specific requirements who also likes you, who you would also be able to live with for the rest of your life.  It doesn't work that way.  You have to be willing to make compromises and be flexible to find love.  You can't be over-focused on what may really be irrelevant details in the scheme of the big picture.  If I were presented with David, for example, I'd be happy - Why?  I don't even know but it has nothing to do with his hair or eye color, that's for sure.  Maybe it's because I think I could relate to someone like him, given his smile, his geekiness, etc.  I think a lot of young women today are totally taken in by this "Bachelor" ideal or prince charming thing - They are holding out for something completely unreal and unrealistic.

I agree. Personality and compatibility about life's issues are much more important. Sure, physical attraction plays a role, too, but a physically attractive person can become repulsive if they have a terrible personality, and someone who's not your type can become your prince charming if they have the kind of personality you like.

 

I personally used to like blond hair and blue eyes, but I married someone with dark hair and dark eyes. :)

Ashley is definitely pretty, but she had WAAAAY too much fake hair in at her wedding. It looked like a drag-queen wig. And I say that with the utmost respect and love for drag queens.

 

With makeup and nice hair, she looks pretty in some photos, but in the talking heads, looking like her regular self, I didn't find her that attractive.

 

This is one question I've been thinking about, actually: All the women were made up for the wedding, with their hair styled, makeup professionally applied, pretty dress on, etc. I wonder what their new husbands' feelings will be about their level of attractiveness once those little extras come off?

Edited December 10, 2015 by BunnySlippers

[moonxyz]

This is one question I've been thinking about, actually: All the women were made up for the wedding, with their hair styled, makeup professionally applied, pretty dress on, etc. I wonder what their new husband's feelings will be about their level of attractiveness once those little extras come off?

 

Sam especially looks completely dishevelled in her talking heads. She doesn't even bother to comb her hair. Sorry for being a bitch but she is really homely.

 

As for the matches, I think that after season 2, it’s clear that production pulls the strings. IMO, the "experts" have little say in the matching and probably don't even adequately utilise the data that they have collected. I think the whole questionnaires, interviews, etc. is more about reassuring the candidates themselves than actually being used for scientific matching. Production decides who will make for good TV.

[cpcathy]

I may be shallow, but Ashley's hair and makeup was WAY too much/too heavy. And it's a pet peeve of mine that her dress was sparkly and glitzy and did not go with the low key, almost "country" venue. She and Sam should have switched dresses.










 

[SaucyMommy]

Sam especially looks completely dishevelled in her talking heads. She doesn't even bother to comb her hair. Sorry for being a bitch but she is really homely.

 

As for the matches, I think that after season 2, it’s clear that production pulls the strings. IMO, the "experts" have little say in the matching and probably don't even adequately utilise the data that they have collected. I think the whole questionnaires, interviews, etc. is more about reassuring the candidates themselves than actually being used for scientific matching. Production decides who will make for good TV.

 

Sam cleaned up way better than she looks in real life. That is definitely going to throw him off when her make up comes off. She's not even quirky pretty to me. She just seems to not really even care so much. I couldn't stop looking at Neil's teeth. While he's not the best looking, I get the vibe that he's a super nice guy. I also loved that he wants his forever best friend

[okerry]

Also, I hate to say it but I think the internet gives young people the false idea that they can meet anyone who fits their laundry list of "requirements" to a T just because they can flip through thousands of photos of single guys online and see many that fit those requirements. 

 

 

Exactly this. Instead of making it easier to find a long-term partner, things like Tindr and on-line dating sites actually turned out to make it far more difficult. That's because you get the idea that there's always something better at the next click of the mouse, so why "settle?" You never learn to make any decisions and you never think of any of these people as more than just temporary until that Perfect Thing finally arrives. You can't build a relationship when you're always looking just over their shoulder to see what else is out there, especially when there's an endless parade of them available 24/7.

 

I think the original premise of MAFS - which has kind of gotten lost now - was that if the couple was really and truly legally married, they'd have much more reason to stick it out and try to work out their problems. Where they failed was, apparently, not realizing how hard it would be to get any attractive and sincere men to sign up to do this. Someone should have realized that they'd get loads of women but very few men, and that's where the show really falls down.

 

If you had a show called "One-Night Stand at First Sight," you'd get countless men and very few women. "Married at First Sight," of course, is just the opposite.

[Evil Queen]

I can understand the devastation if said person had a close relationship with their grandparents. However, the friend crying made me think that it was more than just the grandmother dying. 

 

Agree. It seemed more about something else. I don't know if they said how long ago it was her grandma died but I was taking it as she was close to her and maybe it was the last one that was alive as well. I know when my last one died it was harder but then I was a bit closer to her as well compared to my other one. Plus mine was my last living grandparent and I was in my 30s. Yes you know it will come but its not any easier. Yet I don't see a friend getting upset and crying over it all like her friend did so it has to be something else going on that will probably come out at some point here and cause drama. 

 

Her last name is Doherty so I'm thinking she's at least part Irish.  But I'm feeling like she's part something else - Italian?  Jewish?  Because she reminds me of myself a little.  I didn't get a good look at her mother, that might have helped.  In fact, I don't remember seeing her mother.  I don't even remember if she was there.

 

I thought Ashley's mother and her looked very similar. They seemed to have that same dopey expression on their faces...not happy looking people at all. Obviously they could be but just don't look it. Who knows with some people. LOL 

[Snarklepuss]

Exactly this. Instead of making it easier to find a long-term partner, things like Tindr and on-line dating sites actually turned out to make it far more difficult. That's because you get the idea that there's always something better at the next click of the mouse, so why "settle?" You never learn to make any decisions and you never think of any of these people as more than just temporary until that Perfect Thing finally arrives. You can't build a relationship when you're always looking just over their shoulder to see what else is out there, especially when there's an endless parade of them available 24/7.

 

OMG, exactly this!  I've even experienced this phenomenon bidding on e-Bay - I think the "perfect" item might be just around the corner so I hold back from bidding on something.  I've realized that at some point you just have to make a choice and buy something and that no matter what you buy there are likely to be some issues.

 

 

I think the original premise of MAFS - which has kind of gotten lost now - was that if the couple was really and truly legally married, they'd have much more reason to stick it out and try to work out their problems. Where they failed was, apparently, not realizing how hard it would be to get any attractive and sincere men to sign up to do this. Someone should have realized that they'd get loads of women but very few men, and that's where the show really falls down.

 

If you had a show called "One-Night Stand at First Sight," you'd get countless men and very few women. "Married at First Sight," of course, is just the opposite.

 

I wonder if they changed the premise to having the couples embark on a dating relationship together to "see where it goes" whether they'd have more luck finding people and if they would actually have a better success rate if they didn't feel so locked in and exclusive right from the outset.  The show is IMO based on an older generation mentality that doesn't work for the younger people because of what we were discussing above.  I think they would end up with more of the couples ending up living together to "see how it goes" if they didn't start out married.  I think the M word is too much for these people because of their mentality and it freaks them out to think they just signed on the dotted line "forever" - Well nothing is forever, my generation proved that when it made an institution out of divorce, LOL.

Edited December 10, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[SaucyMommy]

OMG, exactly this!  I've even experienced this phenomenon bidding on e-Bay - I think the "perfect" item might be just around the corner so I hold back from bidding on something.  I've realized that at some point you just have to make a choice and buy something and that no matter what you buy there are likely to be some issues.

 

 

 

I wonder if they changed the premise to having the couples embark on a dating relationship together to "see where it goes" whether they'd have more luck finding people and if they would actually have a better success rate if they didn't feel so locked in and exclusive right from the outset.  The show is IMO based on an older generation mentality that doesn't work for the younger people because of what we were discussing above.  I think they would end up with more of the couples ending up living together to "see how it goes" if they didn't start out married.  I think the M word is too much for these people because of their mentality and it freaks them out to think they just signed on the dotted line "forever" - Well nothing is forever, my generation proved that when it made an institution out of divorce, LOL.

And also because so much of the younger generation just doesn't think Divorce is a big deal. I have numerous friends on to their 2nd and 3rd marriages because they often feel like - well if it doesn't work, I'll just get a divorce. I'm in the Gen X crew - late 30s, but for me - Divorce is not an option. 

[seasick]

 Does anyone else think Neil shortened his wedding speech to his bride??  Seems like it stayed in the friend zone.  Bet he had lots of flowery "my beautiful bride" stuff that he removed after her Mack-truck impression and her cud-chewing cow routine.

 

I think Sam's grandmother thing is both a defense mechanism and an attention call.  That "no one can replace them"  just like Ryan D carrying a torch for his sainted GP's. (Ryan also used his as a front for having love and devotion qualities)  She can use that loss as an excuse for emotional unavailability.  She already did what she could to be a major sexual turn-off to any man.     

 

 I heard Tres say that when he was told about the workshop he thought it was a dating workshop and didn't know it was MAFS.  Reaching out to many areas for singles in one thing, but doing a bait and switch is another.   You are matching 3 men. and 3 women.    You don't need a pool of hundreds or thousands.  .

 

[Neurochick]

I agree with MsPh that these women are really picky on surface attributes and that may be one reason they're still single.  I don't think I ever thought about specific physical attributes like hair or eye color, just if a guy felt right to me or had that "somethin' somethin'" that goes beyond all that.  Also, I hate to say it but I think the internet gives young people the false idea that they can meet anyone who fits their laundry list of "requirements" to a T just because they can flip through thousands of photos of single guys online and see many that fit those requirements.  Well, it's not realistic that out of those thousands you will be able to meet just the exact one that fits all those specific requirements who also likes you, who you would also be able to live with for the rest of your life.  It doesn't work that way.  You have to be willing to make compromises and be flexible to find love.  You can't be over-focused on what may really be irrelevant details in the scheme of the big picture.  If I were presented with David, for example, I'd be happy - Why?  I don't even know but it has nothing to do with his hair or eye color, that's for sure.  Maybe it's because I think I could relate to someone like him, given his smile, his geekiness, etc.  I think a lot of young women today are totally taken in by this "Bachelor" ideal or prince charming thing - They are holding out for something completely unreal and unrealistic.

 

I think the media in general makes "hotness" a number one priority, larger than any other.  Whenever I watch an entertainment show, the "hotness" of a celebrity is much discussed.  This has affected regular people.  

 

Decades ago, men wanted a woman who could cook and keep a house clean, while women wanted man who could provide.  Things have changed now, no one really needs to get married for those things so maybe looks and sex appeal have now grown in importance.  

[suzeecat]

After re-watching the wedding prep episode, two observations about Ashley:  (1)  She is very short, about equal in height to Dr. Pepper from what I could tell, and (2) during her at-home visit she tells Dr. Pepper she made a roast chicken, then proceeds to pull it out of the oven with her bare hands (!?!).  Is she for real, or is the chicken an imposter?

 

I'm going to say this about David and then duck and run - I see a resemblance to Hugh Grant in him.  Maybe it's the eyes/smile?

[Jack Sampson]

I remember something the "experts" had said in the Matchmaking special about David and Ashley both having strong Christian values, so definitely not Jewish.  Sam had mentioned her grandparents wanted her to find a nice Jewish guy and then just ANY guy.  I don't find either David or Neil particularly attractive although they are perfectly fine looking, but I am not signing up for a reality show to get married to a complete stranger sight unseen.  The "experts" really should pay attention (or ask about if they didn't) what physical type the applicants find attractive, because like it or not physical attraction is important.

I think it would be interesting to ask the question like this.  "Give an example of the type of person you could attract."  I think you'd hear some wildly exaggerated expectations.

After re-watching the wedding prep episode, two observations about Ashley: (1) She is very short, about equal in height to Dr. Pepper from what I could tell, and (2) during her at-home visit she tells Dr. Pepper she made a roast chicken, then proceeds to pull it out of the oven with her bare hands (!?!). Is she for real, or is the chicken an imposter?

I'm going to say this about David and then duck and run - I see a resemblance to Hugh Grant in him. Maybe it's the eyes/smile?

I noticed the chicken thing. Very odd.

[humbleopinion]

A stunt chicken.

Unfortunately, that chicken was harmed in the shooting of MAFS.

 

David is in the neighborhood of Bradley Cooper, in terms of similar looks to me but a remote, distant neighborhood  at best.

 

Sam seemed to be mocking Neil's bugged eyed look during the reception meal, something he didn't know he did when nervous but does now.

I'm on Team Neil because he has the toughest row to hoe tolerating Sam for 6 weeks.

Time can't go fast enough for Neil Bolus.

 

If Sam says she identifies with Anastasia Steel, you heard it here first, ladies and gents.

[Adeejay]

I'm going to say this about David and then duck and run - I see a resemblance to Hugh Grant in him.  Maybe it's the eyes/smile?

 

Of the three guys, David would be my pick, followed closely by Tres.   I reserve the right to change my mind after seeing their real personalities. 

[CaptainCranky]

First off let me admit I was very shallow as a young man. I was attracted to women in this order: body, looks and hair color. I didn't date too many long for the good lookers were disappointments for a lot of reasons: no connection, not intelligent or lousy sex.

 

I didn't marry until late in life when I found all three in a person I've now been married to for over 45 years.

 

But yes looks are extremely important to most people.

[SaucyMommy]

First off let me admit I was very shallow as a young man. I was attracted to women in this order: body, looks and hair color. I didn't date too many long for the good lookers were disappointments for a lot of reasons: no connection, not intelligent or lousy sex.

 

I didn't marry until late in life when I found all three in a person I've now been married to for over 45 years.

 

But yes looks are extremely important to most people.

 

I think men are more visual than women in that respect. Most women prefer appearance but most are concerned more about chemistry and connection. I think for Ashley and Sam - it's surprising the looks are SO important to them - given neither of them are total prizes anyway. I wonder how much of it is actually nerves "like OMG I married a stranger and they are so gross" vs actually not being attracted to their partner. 

[Adeejay]

But yes looks are extremely important to most people.

 

You wouldn't know it by watching this show, but looks are more important to men than women.  Studies show that when being set up on a blind date, a man's first question is, "what does she look like?" and a woman's is, "what does he do for a living?"

[girlplease]

I think women are kind of conditioned to let guys "grow on them". We're used to being cajoled to look past the surface, looking for whatever good qualities the men might have, as if initial attraction isn't important at all.

 

If men aren't attracted, they're not attracted and no one questions them about it or begs them to give a girl a second chance because she has a great job or is really funny.

 

/generalizations ;) 

Edited December 10, 2015 by girlplease

[ctbabe]

Parents need to realize that goING to MAFS official website to respond to comment/defend their child, isn't going to help much. Avoid the fan page.

Ashley's mum wrote this

Mary Harnois‎Married At First Sight

21 hrs · 

Sooo to the woman who spoke about the "dent" in Ashleys head....I won't say your name because I have class. Ash was born 3 mo premature, at 6 she had a tumor removed, she was stitched from ear to ear with over 35 sutures so that's where the "dent"comes from. This is what happens when one makes assumptions about people they don't know!!!

[JapMo]

From the little we've seen, I think Neil is the perfect person for this kind of "experiment".  He wants to be married, period.  And because he's not super attractive, he probably isn't super picky, which is why, IMO, he seemed supportive and even participated somewhat in the goofy antics of Sam.  We might see in the next 6 weeks that Neal puts up with a lot from Sam because he wants to give them every chance.  Doug from the first year really wanted to be married; David said he wants to find a partner.  There are men out there who really want a wife and family.  The show shouldn't have to deceive people into trying out.

 

I've wondered from all three seasons what happened to the ones who weren't selected.  Even though we only saw snippets of them, there were some that really were genuine and just wanted to be with someone.  I would have loved for the show to contact all the potentials that weren't chosen and offer up the invitation for them all to meet. Not including any opinions from the experts…just have one of those singles things but anyone who shows up is serious about getting married.  I mean,who knows.  Maybe some lonely people could find a little happiness…maybe even permanent.

[Adeejay]

I would have loved for the show to contact all the potentials that weren't chosen and offer up the invitation for them all to meet. Not including any opinions from the experts…just have one of those singles things but anyone who shows up is serious about getting married.

 

They do this with former Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants.  So far, there's been about six or seven marriages and several long term relationships. 

[spankydoll]

Neil is HOT. He just stood there calmly looking crazypants Sam in the eyes. He will be ALL kinds of take charge fun in bed. Sam should consummate the marriage ASAP as she is a hot mess. Her manners are terrible. She has no control over her facial expressions or body language. And for heaven's sake BRIDES hold out bouquets at your waist. Bouquets are not Olympic torches, maracas or cymbals. Hopefully her ridiculous behavior was just wedding jitters. Neil's alm demeanor will be a nice balance to Sam is she isn't completely BSC. 

 

Tres and Vanessa are a beautiful couple - hoping for them!

 

Ashley and David both seem like jerks. She is snobby princess and he is an aklie bro. Excellent chance of the her Pandora'd hand grasping his fake Rolex arm as they drive off in their Hummer towards the nearest Guy Fieri restaurant. 

[seasick]

I think David is nice looking.  He's not movie-star good looking but he's attractive enough. If he had a good personality and some sex appeal and worldly-ness then he could be a total winner in my book.   Several of my friends did not think Jason S1 was good looking at all and maybe at first blush he wasn't but his entire persona was adorable, manly and sexy.  

 

Sean S1 looked good in a picture but I think many will agree that pretty much from the beginning of the show he seemed unmanly, unsexy and unattractive.  

 

Neil may not be picky about needing great looks in a woman but I'll bet he wouldn't stay with a dumb, dull woman no matter how hot she was.  I think he is willing to give a person who is a little 'different' a chance, but I don't see him  'putting up' with Sam's rude brand of crazy if she doesn't knock it off.  He can do much better and I hope he opts out. 

 

David worries me.  He's too grateful for a decent looking woman and is clueless about needing anything else personality wise in a mate.  I can't see him knowing that he "must have a .woman who is playful"  or "likes the outdoors" , anything!   I don't think he's shallow, just inexperienced and dense. .  I think he will want to stick with her, and she might stick too for awhile just because he's probably a pushover.

 

No hope for Tres and Vanessa.  Tres was recruited and he's having a good time, but he'll jump in with the next woman who winks back. He's concluded  that he's a 'catch'  (according to the 'experts) so it's time to capitalize on it.  .  

[Phoenix]

That's right, there is no hope for Tres because he will always roam from one woman to the next seeking affirmations that he is special, is appealing...is a catch.  He will do this until he gets therapy for his abandonment issues caused by his mother leaving him. 

 

Sam was a total disaster in every way possible.  What an embarrassment for poor Neil.  She showed no respect for the wedding ceremony or at the reception.  I nearly got sick when she asked the guests if she had food in her teeth.  Ugh....just typing that out made me nauseous once again.  Her father was even horrified.  Then she laid flat on the floor twice...once before walking down the aisle and again on the dance floor.  Her sense of decorum is deeply flawed...well totally absent.  And she thinks she is all that.

 

Ashley is such a princess...so she thinks anyway.  It was clear in the talking heads she did prior to the selection process that she was a spoiled pampered snob and would make any man's life very difficult and stressful.  She had to be selected for TV drama...as was Sam.  I like Vanessa....great personality and beautiful too.

Edited December 11, 2015 by Phoenix

[Snarklepuss]

You wouldn't know it by watching this show, but looks are more important to men than women.  Studies show that when being set up on a blind date, a man's first question is, "what does she look like?" and a woman's is, "what does he do for a living?"

 

Yes, studies also show that women far more than men can grow to find a man physically attractive that they didn't originally like based on his personality and "chemistry and connection" as mentioned above.  This happens naturally as a woman gets to know a guy.  The problem is that these women have not had the time with these men yet for that to potentially happen.  So imagine how it must feel to see someone at the altar for which you have no especial attraction - It must be a rude shock.  Sure, there are guys that will be attractive to a women right away but they are in the vast minority out there.  Men work differently as we all know.  They seem to find more women attractive right away and don't need that personality/chemistry thing to feel it.  They also really aren't as picky as we are in general.

 

Women are complicated in that way.  Take me and my Pit Bull example.  I have no idea why but I find him extremely attractive.  Meanwhile he's short, bald and not especially classically good looking.  He's definitely not my type at all in just about every way.  I was actually ashamed to admit it to my girlfriends but both of my BFFs told me they secretly found him attractive too.  So guys with a lot of mojo can sometimes overcome not being especially good looking.  That said, if I were on this show and saw Pit Bull at the altar I would have probably been upset.  But then after being exposed to whatever personal magnetism he seems to have I would have probably found him attractive after a short while.

[BunnySlippers]

I think one reason why physical attraction is so important for many of these women is that marriage is supposed to include sex between the partners. While the circumstances here are different, and most people wouldn't expect them to jump into bed with a stranger on the first night, if the marriage is going to work, it will have to involve sex, too. I suspect that this is one reason why some of these women freak out when they meet their new husband and they don't find them attractive. If that part doesn't work, then how will the rest work? I think it's easy for us to say that they should give it time (which, of course, they should, since that's the whole premise of this "experiment"), but when you have those high hopes and you feel like the "experts" have let you down, it must be pretty devastating.

 

Still, even if you're disappointed, you should behave like an adult, not like a pouting 5 year old and you should at least make an effort not to be rude to the other person. They are in the same boat as you, after all.

 

I'm not sure how men feel about having sex with someone they don't find very attractive. I suspect there are some that wouldn't care, as long as they get some, but I bet a lot of them would care, too. (Some people think that Ryan D in Season 2 didn't like Jessica's looks that much - and he still had sex with her.) It would be interesting to see how a groom would react if he didn't think his new bride was beautiful...

[Jack Sampson]

If I was a dude on the show and my new wife acted the way some of these women act, I'd bail before the first dance.

If I'm trying to have a talk with my new wife and, when asking her questions, she just stares at me in silence, my reaction wouldn't be nearly as kind and understanding as David. Hopefully, the impression I'm getting is the result of producers editing the scene to manufacture drama.

Also, Dr. Logan's vocal fry is reaching insane levels.

[SaucyMommy]

If I was a dude on the show and my new wife acted the way some of these women act, I'd bail before the first dance.

If I'm trying to have a talk with my new wife and, when asking her questions, she just stares at me in silence, my reaction wouldn't be nearly as kind and understanding as David. Hopefully, the impression I'm getting is the result of producers editing the scene to manufacture drama.

Also, Dr. Logan's vocal fry is reaching insane levels.

 

After last seasons debacle with Dr. Logan on Social Media - I don't even listen to her when she talks. Nor do I take anything in to consideration with the Greg dude that is a known atheist giving advice on living with faith in a marriage.

[Snarklepuss]

After last seasons debacle with Dr. Logan on Social Media - I don't even listen to her when she talks. Nor do I take anything in to consideration with the Greg dude that is a known atheist giving advice on living with faith in a marriage.

 

I know, me neither with Dr. Logan, and my blood boils thinking about that Greg Epstein guy passing himself off as a "spiritual adviser" talking about "faith" - How he is some sort of "humanist chaplain" at Harvard is beyond me.  Where I come from the phrase "humanist chaplain" is an oxymoron.  Call him humanist something else, I don't care, but chaplain is not applicable, IMHO.  What a freaking charlatan he is!

[Pepper Mostly]

Neil is HOT. He just stood there calmly looking crazypants Sam in the eyes. He will be ALL kinds of take charge fun in bed. Sam should consummate the marriage ASAP as she is a hot mess. Her manners are terrible. She has no control over her facial expressions or body language. And for heaven's sake BRIDES hold out bouquets at your waist. Bouquets are not Olympic torches, maracas or cymbals. Hopefully her ridiculous behavior was just wedding jitters. Neil's alm demeanor will be a nice balance to Sam is she isn't completely BSC. 

 

Tres and Vanessa are a beautiful couple - hoping for them!

 

Ashley and David both seem like jerks. She is snobby princess and he is an aklie bro. Excellent chance of the her Pandora'd hand grasping his fake Rolex arm as they drive off in their Hummer towards the nearest Guy Fieri restaurant. 

 

spankydoll, can I come and sit at your lunch table? I cosign every word of your post. I was yelling "damn, girl, hold those flowers lower! They're not a shield!" Dying over your characterization of Ashley and David in the Hummer. Dying I tell you! Neil is my favorite and I think I would have paid him some attention in my younger days, and I was a red hot mama. 

Not being attracted to someone is one thing, but the way she gave him the silent treatment with a stony expression was ridiculous. She couldn't manage the bare minimum in terms of being polite. She doesn't seem like a reality tv person; she just seems humorless. If you're marrying a stranger on tv, you can't take yourself that seriously or have high expectations.

Right? She acted like she was waiting for a bus and he was a homeless guy who kept asking her for change.

[seasick]

For some reason my quote icon is not there, and my reply box looks strange too.. Idk.

Anyway was just re-reading the post suggesting that maybe Vanessa gets pregnant. Made me think that Vanessa finds out he has a kid. I thought asking her if she had been married before at the reception was a little strange.. Wouldn't be the first thing I'd think to ask a new bride who is what--25? I think he really wanted to know if she had kids..and that was on his mind..

I have on my small tin-foil hat today, but the weather is clear.

[qtpye]

For some reason my quote icon is not there, and my reply box looks strange too.. Idk. Anyway was just re-reading the post suggesting that maybe Vanessa gets pregnant. Made me think that Vanessa finds out he has a kid. I thought asking her if she had been married before at the reception was a little strange.. Wouldn't be the first thing I'd think to ask a new bride who is what--25? I think he really wanted to know if she had kids..and that was on his mind.. I have on my small tin-foil hat today, but the weather is clear.

 

 

It's funny, if you ever watch the accompanying show to MAFS called arranged, Roma people think it is strange if you are not married with children by the ripe old age of 19.

[SaucyMommy]

I know, me neither with Dr. Logan, and my blood boils thinking about that Greg Epstein guy passing himself off as a "spiritual adviser" talking about "faith" - How he is some sort of "humanist chaplain" at Harvard is beyond me.  Where I come from the phrase "humanist chaplain" is an oxymoron.  Call him humanist something else, I don't care, but chaplain is not applicable, IMHO.  What a freaking charlatan he is!

 

I don't know how an atheist can give advice about FAITH in a marriage. What the heck does he know about FAITH if he practices none. The resumes of these so called experts is ridiculous to me. Even them being so stupid as saying "Well Sam and Neil are both mixed ethnicity so we matched them based on that". seriously? Cause you know every person with multiple races will automatically be attracted to one another. It is just like Davina and Sean being matched because they were both bullied.

[seasick]

I just thought it was a strange question to pull out of your hat. It wouldn't have been my first thought or question at the reception.

I think he had something on HIS mind... about HIS past

[ClareWalks]

To be fair, atheists do have to have faith...that God doesn't exist. Otherwise they'd be agnostic. But yeah, NONE of these so-called experts are even remotely qualified for this particular task of matching people for marriage. Are there professional matchmakers of this sort in cultures where arranged marriages are common? They should be consulting with THOSE types of people.

[MsPH]

I don't know how an atheist can give advice about FAITH in a marriage. What the heck does he know about FAITH if he practices none. The resumes of these so called experts is ridiculous to me. Even them being so stupid as saying "Well Sam and Neil are both mixed ethnicity so we matched them based on that". seriously? Cause you know every person with multiple races will automatically be attracted to one another. It is just like Davina and Sean being matched because they were both bullied.

 

Even though he's an atheist, I'm sure he knows far more about religions and religious beliefs than your average believer. Doesn't he have a master's degree in theology? While a devout Christian may know his/her religion inside out and a devout Jew might know his, they don't necessarily know much about each other's beliefs and practices. From what I've gathered he's there to make sure that the participants' religious beliefs and expectations regarding religion are at least somewhat in line, so they're not matching people who are likely to run into serious issues on that front. He's not there to give religious counseling, otherwise they'd have to have a chaplain of each denomination. Or do you think they should have a rabbi advising Christians or a priest advising Jews? I think it's good that he doesn't have his own beliefs clouding his judgement, so he can view all their faiths objectively. He's not anti-religious after all, otherwise he wouldn't have spent years and years studying religious beliefs.

[SaucyMommy]

I definitely know that Atheists can have a great understanding about Faith. I just think it's odd that he's the counsel.  

Edited December 11, 2015 by SaucyMommy

[Bella]

We could take the religion/atheism discussion to the Larger Issues thread.

[Bella]

I just moved two posts to the Larger Issues thread, which is where the religion discussion belongs. Further posts on the subject in this thread will be hidden.

 

Thanks.

[Liberty]

The Neil and David characters certainly displayed more poise than their wives, wonder how far into the season it will be before that changes and Samantha and Ashley's characters become more sensitive to societal norms.  They could have come up with better ways to insult the guys than the old Jamie/Doug story, but that story did work well for both Jamie and Jaclyn with varying results in previous seasons.

 

Interesting to watch the distanced response of Ashley's parents during the ceremony.

Edited December 11, 2015 by Liberty

[ralph]

i sincerely hope that the experts reasoning for matches these couples extend past the BS reasons they gave on the show, because all they have to say for in is "they're both of mixed descent" and they keep talking about it. i cant imagaine anything less important

I think the "experts" purposely don't pay attention to the physical types the applicants want.  The issue is that some people are blinded by looks.  Some people put looks above everything else.   There's an old saying, "if you marry hair, hair is what you get," meaning if you're focused too much on looks, then looks will be all you get because a lot of times people get a good looking person get away with bad behavior, whereas a less attractive person would be raked over the coals for the same behavior.

i thought they DID take looks in as a factor. They talk about how they include race and give them a test of thousands of photos of people to gauge what physical traits they find attractive/unattractive

[ralph]

I remember Dr. Pepper talking about how Ryan and Jessica would be a good match because they looked "sexy" together. Davina and Sean were matched because they were both bullied. The experts are incompetent.

oh yeah...I completely forgot those, but i knew they had some ridiculous reasons for other couples too

 

but the thing is, I don't believe that the experts are incompetent, or atleast i don't want to. I keep trying to conivince myself that the footage of the experts talking about bigger more serious reasons as to why couples were matched were considered by producers "boring" or for some other reason were cut and didn't make it on tv.

[ctbabe]

oh yeah...I completely forgot those, but i knew they had some ridiculous reasons for other couples too

but the thing is, I don't believe that the experts are incompetent, or atleast i don't want to. I keep trying to conivince myself that the footage of the experts talking about bigger more serious reasons as to why couples were matched were considered by producers "boring" or for some other reason were cut and didn't make it on tv.

I totally agree.. if they edited the couples, they definitely edited the experts. I remember reading realitybee's blog, where Dr C complained abt the editing. Edited December 14, 2015 by ctbabe

[Snarklepuss]

I totally agree.. if they edited the couples, they definitely edited the experts. I remember reading realitybee's blog, where Dr C complained abt the editing.

 

I might agree with you in wanting to give the experts the benefit of the doubt but when Dr. C has had the opportunity to explain himself unedited on other sites (like that pregnancy forum) he hasn't made any more sense.

Edited December 14, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[Liberty]

I totally agree.. if they edited the couples, they definitely edited the experts. I remember reading realitybee's blog, where Dr C complained abt the editing.

 

This is likely the best money making opportunity poser Cilona has ever had, and he is not about to let it go just because he is irritated by the editing.

Edited December 14, 2015 by Liberty

[ctbabe]

I might agree with you in wanting to give the experts the benefit of the doubt but when Dr. C has had the opportunity to explain himself unedited on other sites (like that pregnancy forum) he hasn't made any more sense.

I think Dr C explained himself on baby community (I think that's what you r calling pregnancy forum). He explained why each couple last season were matched.

[ctbabe]

http://realitvwithbee.blogspot.com/2015/03/married-at-first-sight-season-2_23.html?m=1

http://realitvwithbee.blogspot.com/2015/05/a-critical-lens-into-married-at-first.html?m=1

[Snarklepuss]

Yes, I have read the baby board plus many other sources on Cilona - Most of his defense of how they choose the couples is based on psychological and personality self-reporting inventories which he acts like are the pinnacle of scientific accuracy, when most of them are just NOT.  Several of those tests are not even accepted by much of the psychological community because they are just not all that accurate nor "scientific".  What he is saying about them is just a lot of bull crap and mumbo jumbo if you ask me, and yes, I know something about those inventories because they were my specialty in graduate school.  As much as I'd like to put a lot of stock in them, they often get things wrong or miss big issues.  We went over this quite a bit last season on this board about how those tests are very flawed especially because they rely on the subject's self-knowledge/perception and correct interpretation of test questions, which can be very skewed an inaccurate.  And all the "validity testing" in the world won't prevent a person from being consistently deluded about their personality or their ethics or even lying about them.  If someone's convinced they're "outgoing" who is to argue with them?  They may actually be wrong!  Plus it's Cilona's opinion based on what he thinks makes the people suitable for matching and suitable for matching with a particular person based on those test results.  So it's extremely shaky at best, IMHO.  Even if the tests were 100% accurate, the results are only as good as his interpretation of them and how he thinks they make two people compatible.  That's extremely subjective and that's a HUGE part of it.  So him going on about how "scientific" the tests are is just a cover for his own inability to make a match, IMHO.

 

He may be doing the best he can, but if he is then why did they miss some big honking issues and incompatibilities last season that even the audience could see coming a mile away?  Is he that bad at it?  If the experts really did that much in depth research into the candidates they should have found those things.  He defended Sean up the wazoo but the guy was obviously a jerk.  Plus they matched him with someone very obviously all wrong for him.  Then he defended it by saying they were matched because they both had similar issues.  Similar issues don't necessarily make for a good relationship nor do opposite issues that supposedly "heal" each other - Especially when there were so many red flag incompatibilities right off the bat that would be deal breakers based on what the candidates asked for.  How blind could he be?  I think his and the other experts' explanations have been naive and simplistic at best, and show a lack of real understanding about what makes relationships work.  Can an outgoing person bring out a quiet personality?  Sure it happens, but a lot of the time it actually makes a quiet person shut down and want to be left alone.

 

To me it looks like they might be making some of the same mistakes this season.  Maybe not, but it's too soon to tell.  We'll see.

Edited December 15, 2015 by Snarklepuss