Small Talk: Out of Genoa

[valleycliffe]

it's hard.

 

i had a chessie mix since she was 4 mos. old, got her from spca.

 

she was so great but at the end, she had cancer and lesions that were leaking.  she was 14 yrs old and my husband took her to the veterinarian but she never came home.  cried myself to sleep that night.

 

my grand swears she saw her in her bedroom a little while ago..she had been euthanized for while before.

[peacheslatour]

 

And btw why didn't the vet you worked for place the dog in a rescue or hell ... a pound ....rather than proceed with an elective execution?

   

I don't know, I wasn't there.  It wasn't like him to go through with something like that, but there was another vet there (on salary, not a partner) who, I think was pocketing euthanasia fees.  I once saw him take $40.00 from a woman to humanely put her rabbit to sleep and instead, after she left, he rabbit punched the bunny and cut it up on the examining table and threw parts of it to his dog.  Did I mention he was also sexually harassing me?  It was a lovely place to work.  Lizzie Smith was just the last straw,

 

Edited to say sorry, I told you these stories would bring you down.

Edited November 30, 2015 by peacheslatour

[jewel21]

I'm mainly speaking to jewel who from her comments about her preveious workplaces culture it sounded less than ideal and making a general comment. That it is an industry surprisingly ride with assholes and bitchs. And btw why didn't the vet you worked for place the dog in a rescue or hell ... a pound ....rather than proceed with an elective execution?

The good thing about our hospital was we didn't ever euthanize for the hell of it. Even if a client we never saw before called about wanting to euthanize an animal, we would tell them we had to do an exam first. If we felt the animal was being put down without cause, we would have them sign an adoption waver and try and nurse them back to health at our own cost. And then we'd try and get them adopted. It's unfortunate the hospital the Westie was brought to didn't have that option.

[Petunia13]

This is why I work in grooming and sitting not vet offices.

That is something you may want to consider. You could always apply for a receptionist/admin job for a salon or boarding or doggie daycare in addition to animal hospitals. Or a shelter. Or pet store.

[jewel21]

Thanks for the suggestions, Petunia!

 

I applied to one pet store chain online but I'll have to go in person to some others since they don't have any online applications. I've had no luck with animal hospitals, it appears no one is hiring any receptionists. At least not in Montreal. I have been seeing some openings in Ontario though, go figure.

 

I've also signed up with two recruitment agencies. After almost three months, one of them finally called me for a three day job this week. At least it's a start.

 

Valleycliffe I'm sorry for your loss. It's never easy putting down an animal.  My friend just had to put down her 10 year old cat a few days ago and was torn as well. The vets suspected a perforated intestine and the surgery necessary to confirm the diagnosis was $6,000-$8,000 and that didn't even include treatment. She didn't have the money and went with euthanasia. The vets did an autopsy and confirmed the diagnosis and said she had made the right choice because her cat would have passed away anyway. It's still been really hard on her though.

Edited November 30, 2015 by jewel21

[Capricasix]

Do any of you remember when Michael Zaslow (Roger, GL) was first diagnosed with ALS after having problems speaking? Well, here's something a little eerie and sad. There's an MP in Ottawa, Mauril Belanger, who was under consideration to be the new Speaker of the House, but withdrew his candidacy because he had been having problems with his voice since the end of the election campaign. I saw this news on Twitter a week or two ago, remembered that the first symptom of Michael Zaslow's ALS was his speech problems, and hoped that this would not be the case for this MP. I just saw a tweet from CTV News that he has been diagnosed with ALS :(

[PatsyandEddie]

The good thing about our hospital was we didn't ever euthanize for the hell of it. Even if a client we never saw before called about wanting to euthanize an animal, we would tell them we had to do an exam first. If we felt the animal was being put down without cause, we would have them sign an adoption waver and try and nurse them back to health at our own cost. And then we'd try and get them adopted. It's unfortunate the hospital the Westie was brought to didn't have that option.

 

The vet office that I use will never euthanize unless absolutely necessary. A woman I know of was moving to another province and was looking for a home for her very healthy, young cat. Several people offered to take her but she kept declining. Finally, when the move was imminent, she went to our vets and wanted the cat put down. They refused saying she was perfectly healthy. Unfortunately, she went to the "other" office who did the deed. I've used my vet office for almost 20 years and would never, ever go anywhere else. They are so compassionate and loving. Our furbabies are part of the family which is why, when they must leave us, it is completely heartbreaking.

 

Best of luck with your job search jewel!

 

I saw the news  about Belanger as well Caprica. Very sad. ALS is gut wrenching.

Edited December 1, 2015 by PatsyandEddie

[glowlights]

It feels wrong to hit the "like" button on posts about people having a bad year, losing their pets, being out of work, bad vets, etc. So I'll just offer my condolences for any hardships/losses in 2015, and wish everyone a much brighter 2016.

[peacheslatour]

You make an excellent point, glowlights.  I hope all of us Preverts have a better year in 2016.  Be happy, healthy and rich in love.

[ByTor]

The vet office that I use will never euthanize unless absolutely necessary. A woman I know of was moving to another province and was looking for a home for her very healthy, young cat. Several people offered to take her but she kept declining. Finally, when the move was imminent, she went to our vets and wanted the cat put down. They refused saying she was perfectly healthy. Unfortunately, she went to the "other" office who did the deed.

So she opted for her pet to be dead rather than be owned by someone else...what a sicko.

[PatsyandEddie]

Yep, she's definitely an oddball. If I had known about earlier,I would have taken the cat in myself.

[Snaporaz]

It feels wrong to hit the "like" button on posts about people having a bad year, losing their pets, being out of work, bad vets, etc. So I'll just offer my condolences for any hardships/losses in 2015, and wish everyone a much brighter 2016.

I know what you mean about feeling wrong to "like" someone's misfortune. So I would to clarify for everyone, my "likes" are intended to mean "I relate to your situation and I empathize." We need a button for that!

[peacheslatour]

So she opted for her pet to be dead rather than be owned by someone else...what a sicko.

Before I was a vet tech (while in high school) I volunteered at my local Humane Society.  What an eye opener.  The way some people treats their pets as disposable is mind boggling.  I can't understand the mindset that would treat a loving, trusting creature like so much garbage.

[PatsyandEddie]

I can't either. Someone in the Toronto area is poisoning dogs by lacing treats with antifreeze and leaving them in dog parks or around telephone poles. Takes a sick mind to think this is an okay thing to do.

[ByTor]

And THAT ^^^ is why my Lilly will never even know what a dog park is.

[PatsyandEddie]

Yep! There's a lot of weirdos out there.

I don't let my cats out either. They don't need to hunt and certainly don't need to get hit by a car,eaten by a coyote or pick up parasites.

[Petunia13]

I can't either. Someone in the Toronto area is poisoning dogs by lacing treats with antifreeze and leaving them in dog parks or around telephone poles. Takes a sick mind to think this is an okay thing to do.

Some people are so demented. Just FUBAR humans.

[glowlights]

I can't either. Someone in the Toronto area is poisoning dogs by lacing treats with antifreeze and leaving them in dog parks or around telephone poles. Takes a sick mind to think this is an okay thing to do.

 

That's awful. Hopefully a security camera will catch the perp.

[jewel21]

Today was the first day in over 3 1/2 months that I worked. I'm exhausted but it felt nice being a useful member of society again. Sadly, this contract ends Friday and then it's back to the couch for me, heh.

[Petunia13]

Some one brought up an interesting point in the daily thread when discussing Faith so I thought I'd pull it over here for discussion.

would your parents have allowed you to talk the way Faith does?

And were you a sassy ...um candid ...or trouble making kid?

.

Edited December 3, 2015 by Petunia13

[valleycliffe]

i brought up my kids to speak their mind just like i didn't censor the books they read.

 

they now have great jobs they love and great kids.

 

one is a parts manager in a chevy dealership, one is a teaching assistant and the other works in human resources in an american army base...

[pearlite]

i brought up my kids to speak their mind just like i didn't censor the books they read.

 

they now have great jobs they love and great kids.

 

one is a parts manager in a chevy dealership, one is a teaching assistant and the other works in human resources in an american army base...

 

I pretty much did the same with my daughter. She's now in grad school at Yale...

[PatsyandEddie]

That is the way that I brought my four up as well because I was heavily censored as a child and got my ass whooped regularly " just in case". I am still fearful ( at my age! ) to speak my mind.

[valleycliffe]

i was brought up not to speak back, i was very introverted/shy.

(catholic school etc.)

 

however, i am not one to hold back any longer and i can have a very acid mouth when needed.

[Thumper82003]

Some one brought up an interesting point in the daily thread when discussing Faith so I thought I'd pull it over here for discussion. would your parents have allowed you to talk the way Faith does?

And were you a sassy ...um candid ...or trouble making kid?

.

12 years of Catholic school here. If I said "I hate you" to my sister, I had Ivory soap rammed down my throat. I would never had gotten away with what Faith said. We even got punished when the evil neighbor said her kids were angels & we were Devils. (Most of the time it was her kids messing up, all of them Eddie Haskell.)

But today, it's a different time. No more Ivory soap. I think it was good for Faith to say what she was thinking, but she did need to be reminded by her parent, not a step parent of manners.

Kids need to learn manners, but not in the ways of the past. I still puke when I smell Ivory soap...

[glowlights]

I was brought up to hold my tongue and please others, and I turned into a cynical, sarcastic asshole. There must be a happy medium between my mother's tyranny and all this indigo child crap.

 

But lord, how curly-hair-Faith used to annoy me. She's so saccharine and cutesy-poo. Blech. Dark-eyebrows-Faith looked like she could cut a bitch - I admire that in a tv kid.

 

jewel, congrats on this week's contract!

[jewel21]

i was brought up not to speak back, i was very introverted/shy.

(catholic school etc.)

 

however, i am not one to hold back any longer and i can have a very acid mouth when needed.

 

Yup, same here.

 

I was brought up to hold my tongue and please others, and I turned into a cynical, sarcastic asshole. There must be a happy medium between my mother's tyranny and all this indigo child crap.

 

But lord, how curly-hair-Faith used to annoy me. She's so saccharine and cutesy-poo. Blech. Dark-eyebrows-Faith looked like she could cut a bitch - I admire that in a tv kid.

 

jewel, congrats on this week's contract!

 

Thanks! And I too was raised to hold my tongue and be polite to my elders.

[peacheslatour]

All my mother had to do was raise an eyebrow and I shut it quick enough. I was certainly encouraged to be honest as long as I kept a respectful tone.  I was also free to read anything I wanted.  Same with my son and he grew up to have excellent manners.. When he was little, he would always open doors for women and I was astonished at how few of them even acknowledged him.  If we want children to have good manners we should at least set a good example ourselves.  Respect is a two-way street.

[crowsworks]

I worked in retail and was surprised that Kids would say thank you while their parents stood like lumps, I always said you're welcome.

 

Someone told me it was Barney that taught them

[Toomuchsoap]

This may seem like an odd question, but more and more I'm hearing about and encountering high school age kids who don't want to learn to drive. Period. I find this completely mystifying. I realize that for some kids it's an issue that is wrapped in the economics, but not in all cases. I know of three seniors in high school that didn't want to learn to drive. Their parents weren't refusing to purchase cars or cover the cost insurance, mind you, and they are high earners who would easily be able to afford the cost of insurance and starter cars. (In one instance, the mother of one of the teens offered to buy the daughter a brand new BMW SUV for her birthday). These kids preferred to have mom drive them to their friends houses, to school, to all their extracurricular school-related activities daylight to dark - and their moms were employed outside the home!  I find this so baffling, I'm stunned by it. I know that the cost to learn through certified driving schools is a definite economic disincentive for many families and that some of the kids are in families with one auto used by the principal breadwinner, but it's not a factor in the majority of cases. I just remember that teens wanted to stretch their wings and explore the world around them, and a car represented that possibility. I can understand factors such as public transportation utilization in high density urban areas, but I live in Texas, where public transportation isn't all that accessible, especially outside of densely populated cities and close suburbs. What the heck has happened? I would have rather died than have my parents drive me to my college classes or my part time jobs, so why are so many kids now content to live like an average twelve year old?

Edited December 6, 2015 by Toomuchsoap

[valleycliffe]

i don't know, the same reason why college age kids (and older) prefer to live at home and not have their own places..

 

and even after they move out, they will often move back in only this time with husband and kids...

 

yes, i am speaking from experience.

[peacheslatour]

When my son was in high school we did all the usual stuff, Sears driving school, going out practicing with him, we bought him a starter car.  He just lost interest, never bothered to get his license..  He moved out when he was 20, didn't take the car with him and now at 29 he has lived on his own for almost 10 years and still doesn't have an interest in buying a car.  I dunno, kids today are weird.

[valleycliffe]

when my girls were single and living and working in downtown vancouver, they did not want to own a car as it was/is a hassle to find free street parking around where they lived so they rode their bicycles everywhere..or they walked.

 

i bought them each pepper spray to carry with them.

 

LOL  my mom gave me an awl to carry when i would go out for a walk.

[peacheslatour]

when my girls were single and living and working in downtown vancouver, they did not want to own a car as it was/is a hassle to find free street parking around where they lived so they rode their bicycles everywhere..or they walked.

 

i bought them each pepper spray to carry with them.

 

LOL  my mom gave me an awl to carry when i would go out for a walk.

Yep.  He lives in downtown Kirkland and there are terrible parking issues here.  He takes the bus or calls a ride service. 

 

We used to carry wrought iron fireplace pokers when we walked around at night.

[Snaporaz]

Since many of you seem to have experience working in animal wefare, may I ask what you all think of microchips?

Yesterday, one of our local shelters had an offsite event very close to where I live, and they were offering free microchips. I'd been interested in getting one for a while, so I took my cat in to get one. I know most shelters chip all of their animals, so I assumed it was perfectly safe. Now I'm hearing...not so much. Apparently, there is a risk of agressive tumors forming at the injection site. (I know, I know...only a brainiac like me does research AFTER the fact.)

I've heard so many great stories of lost pets being reunited with their families months and even years later, thanks to microchips. But now I'm kicking myself thinking I did something that might hurt my little peanut. :>|

[peacheslatour]

Both of our cats were chipped at the no-kill shelter we got them from.  One is 11 and the other is 10.  No issues so far.  Our vet is very much in favor of chipping.

[valleycliffe]

my rescue cat from bcspca is tattooed..

[boes]

Let's just say that I was born during the Eisenhower administration....very EARLY in the Eisenhower administration, when he had a little more hair than he did later.  Early..

Anyhows, never had a driver's licence.  I learned how to drive but never got a license.   In those days there was one guy at the police department in our small(ish) Iowa town who would pass us after the driving test to get a license.  I flunked it the first time for driving with the parking break on - nervous.  Second time for not wearing seat belts - seat belts weren' the law yet, and besides, my dad had removed them, so how do you use them?  I'd figured out the guy didn't like me much.  Third time, I flunked because I'd waved at a cousin - it was that sort of town - and he claimed I was a distracted driver.  So I knew I'd NEVER get a license from this clown.

Shortly after I moved to Chicago - oh my, what a time that was!! - lived with two ex-nuns who'd taught me in high school, ( my mom was scandalized) and spent my time going to school, working, and getting in trouble doing stuff with the Catholic Left, ex priest and nun agitators and civil rights workers.  From there I went to San Francisco and I never did get that license.  Came close a couple of times, but in both places, the public trans is so good and parking so bad a car wasn't necessary or even needed.  I did drive a couple of times during an emergency, illegally, but because I had to.

Long story short, we now live in the suburbs - SF chased us out because of the high cost of living, and my eyesight is so compromised I couldn't get a license if I tried.

 

One thing, though, drivers license or not, I was out of my parent's houst at 18, only to return for visits and such.  NOTHING would have kept me home.  

Now I loved my folks, but no way did I want to live under their roof, and I'm sure they felt the same way.  Maybe today's parents are nicer??  Kids like home more than I did??

[valleycliffe]

LOL  i was so anxious to leave home, i got married just after i turned 16, had a baby at 17, separated at 18 and then when i moved back to my brothers place i met my husband that i have been married to for 43 yrs..

 

i think the only reason i wanted to leave home was because my mom had died just after i turned 15.

from nice lil catholic girl who went to church every sunday, i don't think i've been back since..

sometimes, i kinda miss it.

 

that's what grief does i guess, i felt just so lost is the only way i can explain it.

[PatsyandEddie]

You sound like my hubby, valley. His mother died when he was 16 and he just couldn't bear to be in the house without her so he left. He was still in high school but worked two after school jobs to afford his shitbox car and dingy apartment. He paid his own way through college too, refusing his father's help. He was married at 20 and divorced at 21. No kids though until he met me, the older woman. Haha!

I do hear you about the grief. It affects everyone differently. Some people become more faithful and others lose theirs.

[Thumper82003]

This may seem like an odd question, but more and more I'm hearing about and encountering high school age kids who don't want to learn to drive. Period. I find this completely mystifying. I realize that for some kids it's an issue that is wrapped in the economics, but not in all cases. I know of three seniors in high school that didn't want to learn to drive. Their parents weren't refusing to purchase cars or cover the cost insurance, mind you, and they are high earners who would easily be able to afford the cost of insurance and starter cars. (In one instance, the mother of one of the teens offered to buy the daughter a brand new BMW SUV for her birthday). These kids preferred to have mom drive them to their friends houses, to school, to all their extracurricular school-related activities daylight to dark - and their moms were employed outside the home!  I find this so baffling, I'm stunned by it. I know that the cost to learn through certified driving schools is a definite economic disincentive for many families and that some of the kids are in families with one auto used by the principal breadwinner, but it's not a factor in the majority of cases. I just remember that teens wanted to stretch their wings and explore the world around them, and a car represented that possibility. I can understand factors such as public transportation utilization in high density urban areas, but I live in Texas, where public transportation isn't all that accessible, especially outside of densely populated cities and close suburbs. What the heck has happened? I would have rather died than have my parents drive me to my college classes or my part time jobs, so why are so many kids now content to live like an average twelve year old?

My son got his driving license on his 16 th birthday. It may be different now, but (at least 10 + years ago) NC had a graduated drivers license. You could get a learners' permit at 14 1/2 years old, take drivers Ed, get your license at 16 IF you were still in HS with passing grades, with the school's permission. You also had to have no criminal record. The 1st 6 months you can only drive daylight hours, with no more than 1 unrelated minor, losing it for any traffic infraction. Then 6 months of restricted night time driving. You also had to have insurance, jacking up the rates for the parents as long as they were in the house

Drivers Ed was the sticking point for most kids when my son was in HS. Because of budget cuts, getting it before senior year in HS was very hard. We paid a private driving school for our son's drivers Ed. Many families can't do this.

My son was teaching me how to drive since 2nd grade, when he taught me how to put the Blazer in 4 wheel drive during a rare snowstorm. He also would warn me of speed traps, non congested traffic routes etc.

He had gone to NASCAR and local short track races since he was 3, predicting (accurately) which car was going to crash etc. I wouldn't have been able to keep him from driving. He stayed at home to cut costs during college. He went to community college for 2 years then to our local university for the second 2 years. After college he moved out, with no college loans looming over his head.

Bottom line, costs keep many from getting drivers licenses or leaving home.

[valleycliffe]

my kids all got their licenses at 16, the husband taught them to drive.

 

kinda liked it tho cause then i could send them to the store (we lived out of town in the interior of bc at the time) and of course any reason to drive the car was ok with them.

 

i got my license at 16 and my brother taught me to drive an automatic.

 

i didn't learn to drive a standard until later on.

Edited December 6, 2015 by valleycliffe

[PatsyandEddie]

I learned at 16 as well, so did my kids. Oldest lives in Toronto so has no use for a car. His 18 year old daughter got her licence at 17 but doesn't care to drive at all.

[jewel21]

I never bothered to get my license and didn't want to either. None of the women in my family drive, and my grandmother really wanted me to learn but I kept telling her I wasn't interested. I have no coordination and I crash grocery carts into the corners of aisles when at the grocery store. I'm also the biggest day dreamer there is and suffer from anxiety. I like to think the world is a much safer place without me driving.

 

And most kids live at home now with their parents because the cost of living is so high and it's really hard to get a full-time job that pays a living wage. I think a lot of kids would like to move out if they were able to, unfortunately, a lot of them don't have the financial means to do so. I know that's why I'm still living with my grandfather and I'm in the 30s. And I've been trying to move out for the past five years. Unfortunately, I could never get a job where I worked more than 20 hours a week making barely above minimum wage, and now I'm unemployed. Maybe by the time I'm 40 I'll get a full-time job and be able to afford a dinky apartment, heh.

Edited December 7, 2015 by jewel21

[PatsyandEddie]

You make an excellent point about the high cost of living. That is why I have two of my adult children living on our farm with their spouses. We charge them minimal rent (because all four work) so that they can save for their own places. It's not as easy as it used to be. They all pitch in with the work as well so it's a win-win.

 

jewel, you and your grandfather are benefitting from that arragement I bet. He probably loves having you around for company! 

[Petunia13]

A lot of my coworkers live with their parents into their 30's. I live in a wealthy area and smallish city (how I pictured GC). I moved out at 17 and other than being in a relationship/marriage I lived alone even in college I didn't live in a dorm but an apartment alone.

I think past generations or culture emphasized kids becoming adults and self sufficient more. This one has more helicopter parents and softer, less rigid judgments on the children.

[Toomuchsoap]

I think past generations or culture emphasized kids becoming adults and self sufficient more. This one has more helicopter parents and softer, less rigid judgments on the children.

 

 

I think that's right. Sadly, I think they're treated like children even though they are well into what we considered to be "adulthood". And they don't seem to mind that. I find it weird, really. I never regarded my parents as my friends. They were my parents. We were raised to make decisions and plans keeping in mind that, at one day in the near future, we were going to be expected to go out into the world and make our own way, and part of process was learning how to get ourselves from one place to the other. When we were little, that was walking or bicycling. I know that after the late '70s or early '80s, parents became increasingly more reluctant to let their kids free range, which was part of my childhood. I get that to a large extent because of "stranger danger", but it's sure made so many kids feel insecure and vulnerable well into adulthood. That's sad. And I realize that driving in large metropolitan cities is expensive and a hassle. If one lives in a place like NYC, SF, LA, Toronto, Chicago, et al, it's far more convenient to use public transit to get to and from during the week. But damn, even New Yorkers have vehicles (a great many, if not a majority, anyway). They haul them out on the weekends and go places that they'd be limited to travel otherwise.

 

Learning to drive was like learning to swim for us. We knew we might swim occasionally, but that it could save our lives if we ever needed it. Learning to drive, though, not only represented freedom, it was a passage to adulthood when we could stretch the boundaries of the childhood bubble.

[jewel21]

jewel, you and your grandfather are benefitting from that arragement I bet. He probably loves having you around for company! 

Yup, he would be lonely is such a big house by himself. Plus, he's been having heart issues since June so I like knowing that someone is here with him should something happen. And it's great for me because I don't pay rent and have been able to save up money for the day that I do eventually move out on my own.

I think part of it is cultural, too. I knew up with Italian and Polish grandparents. You don't leave the house until you're married, as old school as that sounds. I also am surrounded by family who loves to control others and more or less dictate your life. We weren't taught to be independent and self-sufficient, sadly.

[Toomuchsoap]

I think it's terrific if an adult child wants to reside with a parents or parents - provided they are paying their own way and contributing to the household expenses. Otherwise, it's like having your down and out Uncle Cedric using the place like a flophouse for the long -and-getting-longer foreseeable future. I just don't see how it's fair to an aging parent to bear the brunt of the responsibility and expense for keeping up a house for an adult child or other member of the family who is capable of supporting himself or herself, or at a minimum, being willing to work in whatever job that is acceptable and safe in order to at least defray the cost of their share of household expenses, and being willing to participate in the household chores, transportation, maintenance, etc. Sadly, I've seen adult kids and extended family who stay under the roof, go out and collect decent paychecks, come and go from the parents' or other family members' residences like it's some hotel and they never drop a dime or pick up a dishtowel. And I'm not necessarily speaking about kids from very affluent families where money isn't a concern. How is that fair to the provider, and more importantly, how is that not simply encouraging a freeloader? I fail to see how that's a good thing for anyone.

[valleycliffe]

my daughter pays us rent every month.

 

her and her husband split it between them.

 

she also makes the dinner on the weekends.