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Janelle Brown: Smarter Than Your Average Brown (Maybe)


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*Blerg*

JFC. Just eat simple, whole, organic foods. Drink water, plain tea or coffee. Eat small meals 5-6 times a day if you get hungry often. Since you don't work, you have time to do some kind of work out for an hour a day. Why make complicated drinks and meals? Why attempt workouts that require special equipment at other facilities? Eight years ago I lost 30 pounds just by cutting out sugar/bread/soda and going whole food/organic. I started hiking 3 miles a day (when I could) and had free weights at home. No drama or trauma involved. No living in my head, debating every move I made. And certainly didn't pay an overweight, sad-sack plyg gal to bore me with her blog ramblings.

Honestly, we have been watching Janelle now for 8 years and she has only lost a small amount of weight. People can be large and healthy but she doesn't appear to be one of them. And she is still not in a good place mentally. Time to move on to another MLM, Janelle.

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1 hour ago, Galloway Cave said:

*Blerg*

JFC. Just eat simple, whole, organic foods. Drink water, plain tea or coffee. Eat small meals 5-6 times a day if you get hungry often. Since you don't work, you have time to do some kind of work out for an hour a day. Why make complicated drinks and meals? Why attempt workouts that require special equipment at other facilities? Eight years ago I lost 30 pounds just by cutting out sugar/bread/soda and going whole food/organic. I started hiking 3 miles a day (when I could) and had free weights at home. No drama or trauma involved. No living in my head, debating every move I made. And certainly didn't pay an overweight, sad-sack plyg gal to bore me with her blog ramblings.

Honestly, we have been watching Janelle now for 8 years and she has only lost a small amount of weight. People can be large and healthy but she doesn't appear to be one of them. And she is still not in a good place mentally. Time to move on to another MLM, Janelle.

I don't know why her obsession with smoothies.  Even if she doesn't eat organic she would be better off eating whole foods rather than pulverizing them into a smoothie.  More satisfying.  I get the idea despite the small vegetable garden this past summer, Janelle doesn't like veggies unless they're in smoothies or smothered in ranch dressing.  I also have to add here that so far she hasn't made one appetizing looking meal ever.

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7 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

 Even if she doesn't eat organic she would be better off eating whole foods rather than pulverizing them into a smoothie.  More satisfying.

Part of the satisfaction of eating is the chewing.  That's why a lot of people chew gum.  Slurping down a smoothie just doesn't do it.

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7 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

she hasn't made one appetizing looking meal ever.

I know, right? You'd think she'd learn a little cooking from her son's girlfriend (or her son, or both). At least start there. They're clearly making meals that are tasty, look good, mostly healthy, and don't take hours to make.

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10 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

I don't know why her obsession with smoothies.  Even if she doesn't eat organic she would be better off eating whole foods rather than pulverizing them into a smoothie.  More satisfying.  I get the idea despite the small vegetable garden this past summer, Janelle doesn't like veggies unless they're in smoothies or smothered in ranch dressing.  I also have to add here that so far she hasn't made one appetizing looking meal ever.

I so agree!  Gulping down a disgusting glob of whatever is NOT going to fill one's gullet as eating (chewing) a plate of mostly vegetables.  Steam the broccoli, cauliflower, brussels sprouts, etc., and season them (NOT with caloric dressing or butter, either.)  Whole foods are key!

@Kohola3, YES! 

Edited by xwordfanatik
to add @
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2 hours ago, Kohola3 said:

Part of the satisfaction of eating is the chewing.  That's why a lot of people chew gum.  Slurping down a smoothie just doesn't do it.

I'm torn here. Though I like eating steamed or roasted veggies, I dislike chewing certain things and my digestion is happier when veggies are more of a mash, or soup even. Spinach is one of those foods I love the flavor of but not the texture so I whip it up with whatever I'm making. I suppose it wouldn't be called a 'smoothie' since it's eaten with a spoon, but pretty darn close. And my tummy thanks me for it instead of trying to get it out of there in a hurry.

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4 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

I'm torn here. Though I like eating steamed or roasted veggies, I dislike chewing certain things and my digestion is happier when veggies are more of a mash, or soup even. Spinach is one of those foods I love the flavor of but not the texture so I whip it up with whatever I'm making. I suppose it wouldn't be called a 'smoothie' since it's eaten with a spoon, but pretty darn close. And my tummy thanks me for it instead of trying to get it out of there in a hurry.

But in coffee?!?

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17 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

I don't know why her obsession with smoothies.  Even if she doesn't eat organic she would be better off eating whole foods rather than pulverizing them into a smoothie.  More satisfying.  I get the idea despite the small vegetable garden this past summer, Janelle doesn't like veggies unless they're in smoothies or smothered in ranch dressing.  I also have to add here that so far she hasn't made one appetizing looking meal ever.

Because she feels she has to do something gimmicky to lose weight.  As everyone else has said, eat real food, less of it, lots of fruits and veggies and move your damn ass.  Should be pretty freaking easy with no job ffs.  

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On 12/10/2017 at 9:33 AM, DakotaJustice said:

You haven't been to the Alamo Roadhouse in San Francisco. They have a full menu and craft cocktails that are served during the movie ?

There are quite a few theaters that do this in Chicago and in Chicagoland. These are where I normally go. If I am visiting my hometown in Michigan, I have been known to bring wine into the theater.

Edited by Misslindsey
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On 12/1/2017 at 6:37 AM, ginger90 said:

This is the woman who is inspiring others

Does anyone else read anything weird in her comment?

To me, it reads like: "I HAD to make these.  Because I ACCIDENTALLY took some meat out of the freezer on ACCIDENT and so I HAD TO USE IT because it was an ACCIDENT.  I know this is really fancy but it was all an ACCIDENT.  So I made these but it's not like I WANTED to make them.  But since I made them I have to eat them and so I dressed them up with veggies for this photo and after the photo I smothered them in sour cream and crushed Fritos.  But don't judge because it was all a terrible ACCIDENT and I didn't mean to but I ate them anyway."

It's bizarre.  If she didn't want to make them in the first place, why post a photo?  It's like she's apologizing for her dinner that we wouldn't have even known about if she hadn't taken the picture and made up the excuses as to why she made this.  I don't get it.

Edited by laurakaye
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On 12/14/2017 at 11:38 AM, laurakaye said:

Does anyone else read anything weird in her comment?

To me, it reads like: "I HAD to make these.  Because I ACCIDENTALLY took some meat out of the freezer on ACCIDENT and so I HAD TO USE IT because it was an ACCIDENT.  I know this is really fancy but it was all an ACCIDENT.  So I made these but it's not like I WANTED to make them.  But since I made them I have to eat them and so I dressed them up with veggies for this photo and after the photo I smothered them in sour cream and crushed Fritos.  But don't judge because it was all a terrible ACCIDENT and I didn't mean to but I ate them anyway."

It's bizarre.  If she didn't want to make them in the first place, why post a photo?  It's like she's apologizing for her dinner that we wouldn't have even known about if she hadn't taken the picture and made up the excuses as to why she made this.  I don't get it.

Sounds to me like she could be blaming someone else for the great lamb taco fiasco: "meat was pulled out by accident" and then passive aggressively posting about it. Hmmmmm who could it be?

Edited by TurtlePower
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On 12/11/2017 at 7:49 PM, ginger90 said:
On 12/11/2017 at 7:23 PM, CofCinci said:

Too long, didn’t read! So did she actually go to the spin class or what?

Yup

That should have been in spoiler tags.  I wanted to be surprised by the ending, damnit!!!

 

jk

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1 hour ago, AZChristian said:

She had to sit down and figure out what emotions she was "stuffing"?  Millions of people have been telling her for at least 5 years!!!

What got me is this: Janelle wrote "I know it all" regarding food knowledge. So she knows as much as someone who's gone to school for nutrition? Someone who's earned their PhD? Most people will not pay you to go through your journey, Janelle. You should have stuck to a blog, not a "business". Leave the coaching to the experts and those who have found success.

Gosh she's thick in the head, the lot of them are. 

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I don't understand why people pay her any money. I also don't understand why she thinks anyone would pay her money. To be honest, I might actually be willing to subscribe provided I'm allowed to snark and am not blocked on social media. That might be worth $5 a month to me.

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6 hours ago, MrSmith said:

I don't understand why people pay her any money. I also don't understand why she thinks anyone would pay her money. To be honest, I might actually be willing to subscribe provided I'm allowed to snark and am not blocked on social media. That might be worth $5 a month to me.

I really don't either. There's so much information out there that's free. If you were going to pay someone there's plenty of legit programs from people who really know what their doing. What does Janelle offer that no one else does? Nothing. She doesn't even know what she's doing.

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On 12/2/2017 at 5:50 AM, CofCinci said:

Yes, this title needs a change. She was never smarter than the average Brown. In fact, she’s the dumbest.  She gives her inheritance over to Kody.  She leaves him — and then comes back!  Comes back to give her paycheck over to a douche and his two other wives. She leaves a great state job with retirement/pension/benefits to run off to Vegas to escape persecution (where there was no persecution).  She decided to get a real estate license in Nevada during the worst housing/economic cycle — didn’t sell anything either. Now, she’s dumb enough to believe that she can develop a wellness/fitness/health coaching business - when she is the least well, least fit and least healthy of all the Browns. 

Her first stupid decision, which lead to every other decision, was to convert to Kodouche's "religion".  She should have known better. But, alas, her own mother fell for the Brown BS.  

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On 12/11/2017 at 4:08 PM, DakotaJustice said:

Discuss & try not to gag. 

What, all that together in one smoothie?? **VOMIT!!** I guess it would work for me, too, in that I would hork it up, then be off my feed for the foreseeable future. 

On 12/14/2017 at 11:38 AM, laurakaye said:

Does anyone else read anything weird in her comment?

To me, it reads like: "I HAD to make these.  Because I ACCIDENTALLY took some meat out of the freezer on ACCIDENT and so I HAD TO USE IT because it was an ACCIDENT.  I know this is really fancy but it was all an ACCIDENT.  So I made these but it's not like I WANTED to make them.  But since I made them I have to eat them and so I dressed them up with veggies for this photo and after the photo I smothered them in sour cream and crushed Fritos.  But don't judge because it was all a terrible ACCIDENT and I didn't mean to but I ate them anyway."

It's bizarre.  If she didn't want to make them in the first place, why post a photo?  It's like she's apologizing for her dinner that we wouldn't have even known about if she hadn't taken the picture and made up the excuses as to why she made this.  I don't get it.

She can help a bitch out and whip up 4000 of these for Mykelti (the hell?) and Tony’s wedding. Oh wait, it already happened. Perhaps the wedding inspired HER. 

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Inspiration...... or bullshit?

 

The "f*#k-its" !!

by Janelle Brown January 09, 2018

There are days I feel like I fight a mighty fight.  I have a friend and mentor here in town who describes the feelings and emotions I’m fighting on these days as the“F*#K its!” 

Yes, there, I even typed out a euphemism.  

And I while I think that is a very harsh and vulgar word, there is no better way to describe this place I can get into some days with my fight to eat clean and keep pursuing my wellness goals.

I am sure you know the feeling.  You are tired, maybe you are hormonal, maybe it’s your mid-afternoon energy slump time, maybe you are having a very bad day or maybe it’s your third day of sugar detox and you would kill to have any taste of sweet in your mouth…. you get the picture.

"But the “F*#K its!” are when all your food addictions and bad habits speak to you the loudest."

They whisper seductively and tell you that you are powerful, you can do whatever, eat whatever and your body will miraculously be able to accommodate junk going in and sitting still all day long and still be healthy.  But in no known universe is this ever the case.

I have come to accept that this feeling is a universal feeling in one aspect of life if not another.  It is something that we all must guard against. 

While I have not learned of any secret weapon to fight against these feelings, maybe awareness is the first step.  When I have those feelings and thoughts and I take a minute to contemplate them, I become aware of them, I can gain power over them.  For me, understanding that these feelings are 1) going to come and its normal and not some sort of failing on my part and 2) that they are just that, feelings, and not an indicator of reality.  Then I can acknowledge them and wait for them to pass without acting on them.  To be honest, I have not perfected the letting them pass without acting part, but my percentages of success are going up.  However, the first step above, for me, was key in starting to have some success though. 

"I had to be aware that they were in fact, just feelings."  

And that acknowledging them and being aware of them is so much more powerfulthan just trying to ignore them which often lead to unconscious acts like “wow I just ate that whole thing” or “why is my car in the drive thru at XYZ restaurant”. 

Instead, I can own the feelings and try and take constructive action like reaching out to someone I trust and creating accountability to stay on track, getting up from my desk and walking around, going to the gym to even walk on the treadmill, whatever changes my landscape and quiets those thoughts.  And then I can say, “F*#K it” to the “F*#K its!”

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@ginger90 I had to actually go look at her site's blog to determine whether what you'd posted was real or not. LOL. I thought perhaps you'd had a stroke of creative, snarky genius. Turns out it's real. I don't know how she expects to ever make money when she's posting stuff like that.

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2 hours ago, MrSmith said:

@ginger90 I had to actually go look at her site's blog to determine whether what you'd posted was real or not. LOL. I thought perhaps you'd had a stroke of creative, snarky genius. Turns out it's real. I don't know how she expects to ever make money when she's posting stuff like that.

I don't think she's trying to make any money with Strive any more than MSWC was started to turn a profit or Meri bought the B&B to make income.

All three of these actions were done for one primary reason: to manufacture storylines and keep the show going.  The only side gig that wasn't done for that reason is Meri's LLR business.  

The family's bread and butter is the TLC show money, period. 

Speaking of Strive - has anyone else noticed that her "coaches" have been silent for awhile? My guess is that they weren't making any money from being involved so they've moved on to their paying clients. 

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Just now, DakotaJustice said:

I don't think she's trying to make any money with Strive any more than MSWC was started to turn a profit or Meri bought the B&B to make income.

All three of these actions were done for one primary reason: to manufacture storylines and keep the show going.  The only side gig that wasn't done for that reason is Meri's LLR business.  

The family's bread and butter is the TLC show money, period. 

Speaking of Strive - has anyone else noticed that her "coaches" have been silent for awhile? My guess is that they weren't making any money from being involved so they've moved on to their paying clients. 

You make good points. My problem is I haven't learned to think like the grifters do. So I end up expecting them to be genuine and earnest in their endeavours, rather than seeing it like you do.

As for Strive, I had noticed that there'd been radio silence from the "coaches" for a while. I bet Jenelle would like to give up on Strive, too, but she can't because she's got four paying subscribers. heh

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1 minute ago, MrSmith said:

You make good points. My problem is I haven't learned to think like the grifters do. So I end up expecting them to be genuine and earnest in their endeavours, rather than seeing it like you do.

As for Strive, I had noticed that there'd been radio silence from the "coaches" for a while. I bet Jenelle would like to give up on Strive, too, but she can't because she's got four paying subscribers. heh

Not dissing the coaches' abilities but they aren't anywhere near the upper echelon of the fitness industry.

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Just now, DakotaJustice said:

Not dissing the coaches' abilities but they aren't anywhere near the upper echelon of the fitness industry.

LOL! That's because the ones who are aren't willing to work with a lazy-ass, inexperienced, uninvested, unmotivated, know-nothing grubber like Jenelle. They can see these people coming from a mile away and steer clear.

It's just like when people find out I am a computer programmer. Almost invariably, the next words out of their mouths are "I've got this great idea. Now if only I had a programmer!"

In fact, I remember one woman I met back in 2010 in Racine, WI. She had this "great idea" for which she "just needed a programmer". Her idea? Create a new grocery discount card (like the cards that each store will give you for free that tracks what you buy and occasionally rewards you with coupons for stuff you might buy) that's usable at all the grocery stores, which would let consumers replace all their disparate cards with just that one. Since she worked at a place I went to twice a week, every week, I decided to actually entertain her idea. The wheels came off, though, as soon as I started asking her how she was going to make money from this. Her plan was that consumers would pay a monthly fee for it and that the various grocery chains would also pay her a fee. When she said that, I couldn't stop myself from laughing (really hard and out loud). I felt a little bad about that reaction, but it was just so genuine and uncontrollable. I pointed out that consumers aren't going to pay for this because they get the cards for free from the grocery stores already and that allocating space for two or three or five of these cards on your keychain is such an insignificant inconvenience for people. I also pointed out that the grocery chains have no motivation to pay her anything, either. First, they've all already got their systems in place and have sunk costs associated with it. Second, none of them are going to want to share their data with their competitors, which is what would happen with her system. That data has tremendous value to each of the grocery chains and making it available to competitors would be disadvantageous. Finally, I asked her what she thought it would cost to create and how long she thought it would take. Oy vey. Woefully out of touch, she was. She thought this would take two or three months for one person to do and cost about $10,000. I was like, "Uhhh, no. If you've got one person working on this full time, expect it to take a year at least. And you're off by at least a factor of 10 on the cost; expect it to cost $100,000 minimum." And that was the end of the conversation.

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7 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

What, all that together in one smoothie?? **VOMIT!!** I guess it would work for me, too, in that I would hork it up, then be off my feed for the foreseeable future. 

She can help a bitch out and whip up 4000 of these for Mykelti (the hell?) and Tony’s wedding. Oh wait, it already happened. Perhaps the wedding inspired HER. 

That coffee thing doesn't seem to be "working for her" (though it's a thing, some of my crossfit friends swear by it). Anyway, she looks just as unfit as last season. Tell us again, Janelle, WHY should the public pay YOU for your clear lack of success? You have no business taking money and giving advice.  If she continues to fail, her "business" will fail, too. 

Can we get a big TOLD YOU SO? 

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On 12/24/2017 at 8:33 AM, TurtlePower said:

What got me is this: Janelle wrote "I know it all" regarding food knowledge. So she knows as much as someone who's gone to school for nutrition? Someone who's earned their PhD? Most people will not pay you to go through your journey, Janelle. You should have stuck to a blog, not a "business". Leave the coaching to the experts and those who have found success.

Gosh she's thick in the head, the lot of them are. 

So in other words her stress is so damn high she cannot stop eating her feelings.  Nothing unusual but to me this says this lifestyle she has chosen has never ending stress and doesn't make her as happy as she would like us to believe.  As far as I can tell she doesn't have a real job, her kids are getting older and out of the house yet she is still uber stressed.  Perhaps its Kody and the 3 other ladies she shares him with?  

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1 hour ago, Natalie68 said:

Nothing unusual but to me this says this lifestyle she has chosen has never ending stress and doesn't make her as happy as she would like us to believe.

Surely none of them can possibly believe that there are any humans with brains out there that think polygamy has even one redeeming feature, could they?   Other than other sheep wives, maybe.  But the rest of the population just laughs at their "love divided, multiplied" (whatever the hell they say) tagline because they have gone to such lengths to prove how repulsive it is.

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1 hour ago, Kohola3 said:

Surely none of them can possibly believe that there are any humans with brains out there that think polygamy has even one redeeming feature, could they?   Other than other sheep wives, maybe.  But the rest of the population just laughs at their "love divided, multiplied" (whatever the hell they say) tagline because they have gone to such lengths to prove how repulsive it is.

I don't know. After all, two of the couples featured on the upcoming Seeking Sister Wife show are not F/LDS. And I once dated a woman who subscribed to the concept of polyamory; much to my dismay she already had three other boyfriends (she was gorgeous and I'm just not the wife-sharing type).

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On 12/29/2017 at 10:50 AM, ginger90 said:

I don't even know why this bugs me. I feel dense. Is this the first time she EVER cooked a turkey, and she didn't have to consult anyone? Or has she cooked turkeys previously but needed help every time?

https://mobile.twitter.com/JanelleBrown117/status/946168497549090816?p=v

I know I'm coming in late, but I don't think this is that bad. Jenelle was not the domestic one in the family. For many years she was working and Christine was doing the bulk of the stuff around the home front. Also, it might have been the older generations making the turkey on the big day. The first year I hosted Thanksgiving I was 31. I had my mom come over and help me. I called her for several years after. It can be intimidating if you're not used to it, since you only make it once a year. I'm 38 now and I'd say it's only the last 2 years that I feel I've really got this turkey thing down. Some people are just not confident cooks, especially if they got a late start in life. I applaud her for at least trying. 

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What got me about the turkey was she’s supposedly a blog writer. Be clear when writing, that’s all!

The first time I made a turkey, I didn’t know there was a bag inside I had to remove, I wasn’t stuffing it. I cooked it with that still in it ?

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8 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

The first time I made a turkey, I didn’t know there was a bag inside I had to remove, I wasn’t stuffing it. I cooked it with that still in it

I would wager that a large percentage of first timers do that unless you've watched someone else stuff a turkey!  The only reason I knew about it was watching my mom get them out - she cooked them separately to use the juice for flavoring the stuffing and the gravy.  It's not like Butterball has a warning label!

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1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

 

The first time I made a turkey, I didn’t know there was a bag inside I had to remove, I wasn’t stuffing it. I cooked it with that still in it ?

Yuck!  Sorry, but if the turkey was cooked with the neck and giblets still inside, that means the cavity was not washed before cooking. That grosses me out. 

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51 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Oh it was washed, that's what makes it even dopier! It was still partially frozen, that's my defense!

Ok @ginger90 sweetheart, you really just need to stop describing this now! :) 

Everyone needs to start their journey someplace. Unfortunately, Janelle is both starting her's on her blog AND asking people to pay her to start their journey, while she gives expert advice. It's all so stupid and mind-boggling. Her blog sounds like a 12 year old writes it. The tone, the stuff she writes about, her expectations. I know she has an associates degree and has functioned outside of the family, but you would never know from this blog.

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20 minutes ago, Galloway Cave said:

Ok @ginger90 sweetheart, you really just need to stop describing this now! :) 

Everyone needs to start their journey someplace. Unfortunately, Janelle is both starting her's on her blog AND asking people to pay her to start their journey, while she gives expert advice. It's all so stupid and mind-boggling. Her blog sounds like a 12 year old writes it. The tone, the stuff she writes about, her expectations. I know she has an associates degree and has functioned outside of the family, but you would never know from this blog.

I'm done!! And I agree with the rest of your post, too. 

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39 minutes ago, Galloway Cave said:

while she gives expert advice.

Damn, I shoulda put expert advice in quotes, because it really isn't. Not by a long shot.

I also cannot get the image of that green sludgy stuff in the coffee mug out of my head. It looks so disgusting and *blecgh*.

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10 hours ago, Desert Rat said:

Yuck!  Sorry, but if the turkey was cooked with the neck and giblets still inside, that means the cavity was not washed before cooking. That grosses me out. 

And now they say not to wash them.  I have one thawing in the frig right now.  I won't wash it.  But I will take the giblet bag out.

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14 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

And now they say not to wash them.  I have one thawing in the frig right now.  I won't wash it.  But I will take the giblet bag out.

See below. Tests were run and they found that washing the bird actually spread bacteria (via splashing/aerosolizing) to places one might not deep clean a regular basis, thereby making it MORE likely for contamination and exposure to food-borne illnesses. 

http://www.foodsafetynews.com/2011/11/do-not-rinse-your-turkey/#.Wlo8aSPMwzU

Edited by TurtlePower
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42 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

See below. Tests were run and they found that washing the bird actually spread bacteria (via splashing/aerosolizing) to places one might not deep clean a regular basis, thereby making it MORE likely for contamination and exposure to food-borne illnesses. 

http://www.foodsafetynews.com/2011/11/do-not-rinse-your-turkey/#.Wlo8aSPMwzU

Right.  Planning not to wash/rinse.  Actually over the years I never have anyway.  

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