Small Talk: The Polygamous Cul-de-Sac

suomi · May 17, 2020

Former Miss Anerica and trailblazing female broadcaster Phyllis George passes away at 70 from blood disorder

https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/more-sports/former-the-nfl-today-figure-and-trailblazing-female-broadcaster-phyllis-george-passes-away-at-70-from-blood-disorder/ar-BB14bJ9c?li=BBnbfcL

deirdra · May 17, 2020

I haven't tried it yet, but just saw a tip that washing your glasses with soap and water and rinsing them leaves a film of soap that keeps the glasses from fogging up.

Sandy W · May 17, 2020

To Kyanight: I still haven't figured out how to isolate a quote from your post (elderly and cyber-challenged) but regarding the cataract surgery, I've had both eyes done, as I recall, about one month between each eye. I had the laser treatment and honestly, it was an almost pleasant experience, there was a light show happening in my side vision, with the most amazing color display you could imagine.

I have chronic bronchitis and was concerned that I may cough unexpectedly during the procedure, so I checked with my regular GP beforehand and he prescribed a sedative to take and all was well.

Here in Canada, we have universal health care that covered the cost for basic lenses but since I wasn't out of pocket for the surgery, I upgraded the lenses to the best they had. It's been about 10 years now and no problems. I hope it goes as smoothly for you as it did for me, there has probably been advances in the techniques since I had mine done, so you will be just fine.

AZChristian · May 17, 2020

12 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

To Kyanight: I still haven't figured out how to isolate a quote from your post (elderly and cyber-challenged)

Just quote the whole thing, and then click into the quote box and delete anything you want to, just like you would do in your comment box. Then click into the comment box and type your comment.

Sandy W · May 17, 2020

15 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

Just quote the whole thing

Thank You! Thank You! AZChristian, it worked and I feel very "techy" now. Someone else told me how to do this some time ago, now if only I remember for next time.

suomi · May 17, 2020

I'm trippin' down memory lane, listening to Art Bell's Somewhere In Time. He had a voice for radio, didn't he?

As much as I enjoy hearing Art's voice I'm waiting for George Knapp's live guest tonight, a former LEO in Arizona for 31 years, many of those on a Navajo reservation. He will discuss UFOs on the rez and his eyewitness account of the Phoenix Lights.

So I will be sleeping in tomorrow because it looks like I will be up all night listening to the radio.

But what I really came here to say is that Fred Willard died this morning. (Is that the three now?)

Edited May 17, 2020 by suomi

Yeah No · May 17, 2020

You guys are scaring me with stories of going to dentists, Target Optical, hotel rooms and reopening offices. I don't know if I could handle any of that these days. Target agreed to extend contact lens prescriptions past their usual deadline so I didn't need to come in for an eye exam to order more lenses, but I cringe thinking about the next time I need to get one. I have about 9 months supply left (or more because I'm not wearing them as much) so I won't have to worry about that for a while. My dentist cancelled my April appointment and told me "they'd call me" when they were ready to reschedule. Wow, that's pretty severe - I haven't heard from them yet. I am in no rush. I am being extra diligent with my teeth and just hoping nothing goes wrong.

Meanwhile they're getting ready to open non-essential businesses here on the 20th. I'm a little confused, though. I feel like the governor is playing "good cop/bad cop" in acting like he wants to open things up but then saying he is calling in a team of experts to "look over the metrics" and advise him on what to do. So far we are lagging on two of the federal gov't's 7 metrics - testing and protecting the vulnerable. Why do I feel like they are going to "interpret" them to justify opening too soon instead of staying closed for now? I'm not really against some businesses opening if there are strict measures to ensure safety but some of them are head scratchers, like opening hair salons in phase 1. My friends and I don't understand that. Even with masks on there's not enough distance between me and my hairstylist. I've been reading that if you can't keep at least 3 feet of distance from someone even if they have a mask on it's not enough. The NY governor talked the other day about a barber in Kingston NY that defied the order to stay closed and gave the virus to over 12 people. He is saying that opening salons is supposed to be in phase 2. I thought CT was supposed to be on the same page with NY and now we are suddenly opening salons in phase 1 which is only in a few days? I don't get it. It is making me even MORE afraid to go out anywhere now if this is what is going on. I can't imagine that the numbers are going to go anywhere but up. People have been generally careless and not recognizing the danger involved, so imagine how they will be once things open a little. And the crap I've seen some people spewing online is just horrible. One hair stylist posted on a newspaper article that he was an older stylist and was afraid to go back to work plus he didn't want to put his clients at risk. The horrible, disgusting comments he received were unbelievable.

Also, I read that JC Penney filed for bankruptcy and Lord & Taylor is going to liquidate its remaining stores when they reopen. At this rate the only places for me to buy clothes will be Marshalls, Walmart and Target if all the women's clothing stores go away. Is no one upset about this but me? Where I live I don't have other choices other than Kohls and Macy's and they're both on shaky ground too. I'm not going to shop at mall stores aimed at kids either - can't fit those clothes anyway. If the dept. stores close I will literally have nowhere to shop and I'm not blessed with an ideal figure that can order everything online without a lot of trouble. I have a bunch of things that I ordered online and have to return because they don't fit right. I just don't understand why more people aren't really upset about this.

On a happier note, last week I started to get my unemployment benefits including the extra weekly pandemic benefits. Yay!

suomi · May 17, 2020

There was a huge fire followed by an explosion tonight in El Lay, over 200 firemen responded, 11 were injured, 7 buildings were burning, butane cylinders were sympathetically setting each other off.

The guys on the roof knew they had to get down FAST so they rigged a ladder on the horizontal, creating a bridge, from the building to a fire truck.

An onlooker filmed it from a block away and a fire chief heard about his footage and you can hear the chief tell the guy to come with him, he wants that footage.

The firemen walked that bridge through the flames and no one slipped, no one stumbled, they knew right where the rungs were!

Yay, Steven! Yay, LAFD!

Listening to KFI AM 640, local coverage, they were told that a business in one of the buildings fills butane cylinders for honey oil (oops), they have no clue yet how many were inside the building. They spoke with Steve Gregory, they said he's always balls to the wall (sounds like he's a local photog?) All of the firefighters were awake and alert when they arrived at the hospital - and that's gonna be a hella firefighter training film.

Edited May 17, 2020 by suomi

Chicklet · May 17, 2020

I went to the dentist this week and they have always worn PPE for cleaning (to a degree) this time was like ebola was out there. Face masks, face shields, gowns, gloves, one person in one person out. It was probably the safest environment you could be in. They checked temperatures and you had to be screened for travel, contact with someone who has a cough or diagnosed COVID. I was happy, even my OCD spouse was cool with it.

It helps to have an OCD dentist too. Mine once used latex gloves on me, to which I have an allergy. He called me at home every hour for a whole day to make sure I wasn't dying.

Edited May 17, 2020 by Chicklet

Kyanight · May 17, 2020

10 hours ago, suomi said:

There was a huge fire followed by an explosion tonight in El Lay, over 200 firemen responded, 11 were injured, 7 buildings were burning, butane cylinders were sympathetically setting each other off.

The guys on the roof knew they had to get down FAST so they rigged a ladder on the horizontal, creating a bridge, from the building to a fire truck.

An onlooker filmed it from a block away and a fire chief heard about his footage and you can hear the chief tell the guy to come with him, he wants that footage.

The firemen walked that bridge through the flames and no one slipped, no one stumbled, they knew right where the rungs were!

Yay, Steven! Yay, LAFD!

Wow - that video was TERRIFYING!!!! My heart was in my throat. I am so glad they were able to get out of those flames!

Thank you for sharing that.

Kyanight · May 17, 2020

11 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I feel like the governor is playing "good cop/bad cop" in acting like he wants to open things up but then saying he is calling in a team of experts to "look over the metrics" and advise him on what to do. So far we are lagging on two of the federal gov't's 7 metrics - testing and protecting the vulnerable. Why do I feel like they are going to "interpret" them to justify opening too soon instead of staying closed for now?

I read something this morning in my Colorado news that basically said (I am REALLY dumbing this down here) "Yeah, we counted too many people in our Covid19 death totals, so this virus is really not that big of a deal, after all." And there is going to be a huge fourth of July parade, I heard... to boost the peoples' morale. Not in Colorado - I'm guessing in Washington D.C.?

So my opinion is that yes - they will open sooner rather than later, by adjusting facts to justify their decisions. I've been recording the number of daily cases and deaths since early March. Since many of the states governments have started opening things up in their phase 2 modes, the numbers have gone down instead of going up or even staying steady. I'm waiting to see the numbers in a week or two. I hate being lied to by the government.

AZChristian · May 17, 2020

19 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

I read something this morning in my Colorado news that basically said (I am REALLY dumbing this down here) "Yeah, we counted too many people in our Covid19 death totals, so this virus is really not that big of a deal, after all."

Arizona changed how they're counting covid cases as well . . . but our change made it look worse instead of better.

It hasn't changed our philosophy, though. We're still hunkered down, but going out once in a while - fully masked and maintaining distances. I still fear a second wave if people return to "normal" too soon.

lookeyloo · May 17, 2020

23 hours ago, Kyanight said:

Liquor is very easy to get in Colorado, too. We have a lot of drive-thru liquor stores nearby, and restaurants sell it as well - although it differs from place to place.

I had an eye appointment today which made me pretty nervous, but I can't find my glasses anywhere and I haven't been in to be seen since 2013. (Apparently). Target had a long line waiting to get into the store - all standing 6 feet behind each other. A person comes out - they let a person walk in. About 75% of the people did NOT have masks, I am sorry to say. Everyone in the optical store was wearing masks. My cataracts are a "3 out of 4" severe, and she doesn't want me driving any more until I have surgery. She wrote me a referral. Anyway - an eye appointment wearing a mask is a HUGE pain in the butt. The lenses of the machines kept fogging up on either MY side or HER side - and we'd have to sit back and wait a few seconds for the fog to clear... OVER and OVER. I'm sure many of you have had this surgery before - was it a piece of cake? I HATE having crap done to my eyes. So tell me it was a piece of cake! What with Covid I don't know WHEN I will be able to get in, so my driving days may be numbered. So I tell you all right now.... if my postings are all a big mess of mistakes.... I excuse it by saying it's hard for me to see the blurry screen! Now I cn typo howwevery I wanntoo an I has a excuce.

My son had called in a Panda Express lunch order because it's right there by Target. I was impressed - you WILL wear a mask into the place or you will not come in. An entitled couple walked in and they told them they would have to come back with a mask so they walked out. I offered them the use of one I had in my car (untouched and clean!) and the woman said she "can't wear masks". She then went off on a tangent but by this time she was in her monster truck with her husband and cars were all over the place and I couldn't really hear her, ha ha. My hearing is so bad. My son said she was taking her frustration out on me. I told her she was "welcome anyway", but she didn't hear.. she was roaring off in her behemoth truck. My son said I shouldn't even have offered her the mask but it doesn't cost a penny to be nice.. If she can't wear a mask, why couldn't her husband wear a mask to walk in and get the food? Or she could stay home and her husband (again wearing a mask) could pick it up and she wouldn't even have to go out?) We call bull on her excuse. She and her hubby and even the enormous fully-loaded monster truck they rode in on (with honking floodlights) - are entitled.

Michaels was PACKED - no limits to how many people could cram into the store. Their parking lot was full. (I saw it because it's next to Target.) People coming and going weren't wearing masks. Barnes & Noble was still closed. World Market will do curbside orders. (Saw it on the door as I walked down the sidewalk to - you guessed it - Target optical.)

Traffic was TERRIBLE TERRIBLE.... so I ask you all. WHAT Coronavirus? It seems that in Colorado - the Covid has left the building!

::snort::

Cataract surgery - for me it was a piece of cake. The hardest part was the time between eyes. One could see and one was still cloudy. I love my new eyes. It's been a year.

Teafortwo · May 17, 2020

On 5/16/2020 at 5:57 PM, Kyanight said:

So I tell you all right now.... if my postings are all a big mess of mistakes.... I excuse it by saying it's hard for me to see the blurry screen! Now I cn typo howwevery I wanntoo an I has a excuce.

You do - but what is Mykelti's excuce? lol

Teafortwo · May 18, 2020

I'm also concerned that the reopening, before contact tracing and widespread testing are in place, is going to cause more deaths. A friend in Las Vegas posted pictures this morning of the fancy breakfast (crepes with powdered sugar) he got at a restaurant. He has to be at least 70, likely older. He was proud to be supporting a local business and urged others to do the same. I just hope his support doesn't cost him his life. I get that people's livelihoods are at stake too, but I do not think it is up to the older generation to risk their lives over a breakfast. I keep thinking, what if he touched the menu and then his face? What about the silverware? The plate? Thanks to everyone in this thread who does not think I'm crazy. Why shut everything down if you're going to open it up prematurely, possibly causing another spike? We won't have the full data for several weeks due to the lag between infection and...fatal consequences.

My friend in Phoenix, a few years younger than I, has been very strict about wearing a mask, detoxing groceries and so forth. She gets a lot of pushback from the locals, (weird looks and so forth) who think she is going overboard. But she and her family of 4 are not taking any chances. Grandmother lives nearby and doing well - they bring her groceries and take her out for walks - maintaining distance, wearing masks. She needs motivation to stay active. I am way too envious of the fact that both my friend and her mother-in-law have pools. And also 3 of my close friends in Las Vegas. I'm afraid that I'm going to have a vitamin D deficiency from lack of sun. I know I can take supplements, although I'm not sure the body really absorbs them. But I will have to look into it.

Kohola3 · May 18, 2020

54 minutes ago, Teafortwo said:

Thanks to everyone in this thread who does not think I'm crazy.

If you are crazy then we all are because we are all being hyper-vigilant as much as possible. And we all feel terrible for those forced into unsafe situations like our dear Meowww.

I don't know what the heck it will take for people to continue to be vigilant. I know it's wearing people down, I know that they are bored. But is death worth a manicure or a haircut? A restaurant meal? Worse yet, passing it on to someone innocent? And I know that there have been terrible financial consequences but how much is a human life worth? How many deaths are "acceptable" to open things back up? Name a figure and then pencil in one of your relatives to fill a slot.

I will continue to be a recluse as much as possible and take all precautions until (fingers crossed) there is a vaccine or a dramatic decrease in cases. Call me crazy as well but it is what it is.

xwordfanatik · May 18, 2020

37 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

If you are crazy then we all are because we are all being hyper-vigilant as much as possible. And we all feel terrible for those forced into unsafe situations like our dear Meowww.

I don't know what the heck it will take for people to continue to be vigilant. I know it's wearing people down, I know that they are bored. But is death worth a manicure or a haircut? A restaurant meal? Worse yet, passing it on to someone innocent? And I know that there have been terrible financial consequences but how much is a human life worth? How many deaths are "acceptable" to open things back up? Name a figure and then pencil in one of your relatives to fill a slot.

I will continue to be a recluse as much as possible and take all precautions until (fingers crossed) there is a vaccine or a dramatic decrease in cases. Call me crazy as well but it is what it is.

I'm with you all the way. Great post.

Yeah No · May 18, 2020

2 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

My friend in Phoenix, a few years younger than I, has been very strict about wearing a mask, detoxing groceries and so forth. She gets a lot of pushback from the locals, (weird looks and so forth) who think she is going overboard. But she and her family of 4 are not taking any chances. Grandmother lives nearby and doing well - they bring her groceries and take her out for walks - maintaining distance, wearing masks. She needs motivation to stay active. I am way too envious of the fact that both my friend and her mother-in-law have pools. And also 3 of my close friends in Las Vegas. I'm afraid that I'm going to have a vitamin D deficiency from lack of sun. I know I can take supplements, although I'm not sure the body really absorbs them. But I will have to look into it.

1 hour ago, Kohola3 said:

If you are crazy then we all are because we are all being hyper-vigilant as much as possible. And we all feel terrible for those forced into unsafe situations like our dear Meowww.

I don't know what the heck it will take for people to continue to be vigilant. I know it's wearing people down, I know that they are bored. But is death worth a manicure or a haircut? A restaurant meal? Worse yet, passing it on to someone innocent? And I know that there have been terrible financial consequences but how much is a human life worth? How many deaths are "acceptable" to open things back up? Name a figure and then pencil in one of your relatives to fill a slot.

I will continue to be a recluse as much as possible and take all precautions until (fingers crossed) there is a vaccine or a dramatic decrease in cases. Call me crazy as well but it is what it is.

@Teafortwo and @Kohola3 , bless both of you, everyone here and my offline friends are keeping me sane. I am glad that my husband and I are not the only ones out there that think like this. As they move in my state to open things up tomorrow I am even more nervous than before. Plus it stinks knowing that other people are going to be out there "enjoying" their freedoms while I still have to sit on the sidelines or risk my life. No one seems to give a crap about us, though. It's all about caving in to the biggest complainers. Us older people can just go sit in the corner and accept our fates - A life of isolation or risk death. Gee thanks.

My own little "side business", which I don't talk about much here, involves selling off my old clothing plus stuff I buy on clearance racks at major retailers. Needless to say I've watched my sales go down to next to nothing in the past 2 months plus I have been unable to go to the stores to find more merchandise. I have more of my own clothing to list but with no people buying I'm not putting in that effort. That, plus the fact that a lot of clothing stores are going under now and my little side business is going to go kaput. I was finally enjoying myself doing something I liked and at least could make a little money at, plus benefiting from the exercise I got doing it, and now *POOF*.....gone. Once again, back to the drawing board.

I can't tell you all how many times this kind of thing has happened to me in my life. My therapist used to call it getting "tsunamied". It's kind of like perpetually getting up and dusting yourself off only to once again get knocked down and have to completely rebuild yourself from the bottom up. And none of it was ever my own doing. I know a lot of people that have never had any comparable experience. They go through life somehow never being affected in a bad way by anything. They're recession-proof, pandemic-proof, lay-off proof, bad-boss proof, housing market-proof, lemon car proof, family problems-proof, health-problem proof, you name it. All the misfortunes that have happened to me in my life have never happened to them. Or if they have, only once or twice and much milder cases, and they make a big deal out of it like no one ever had any time worse than them ever in their lives.

I have to say that as I look back on my life I realize that I have always faced these hurdles and challenges dead on and have always somehow survived. I know I will again, but it really hurts more as I get older because I don't have as much time to make up for such adversity. It has its toll financially and emotionally, and I'm not able to bounce back as well as I did when I was younger. And this time the adversity seems greater and more impossible to overcome. Plus, I was finally enjoying my life 4 years after my last tsunami hit. So I'm pissed off about it. Back to square one, only this time I'm depressed and afraid for my very life for the foreseeable future.

From what I know of the fine people on this board, I am far from alone in having a life like that. You really get it. And that means a lot to me, thank you so much for your understanding.

Kyanight · May 18, 2020

3 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

My own little "side business", which I don't talk about much here, involves selling off my old clothing plus stuff I buy on clearance racks at major retailers. Needless to say I've watched my sales go down to next to nothing in the past 2 months plus I have been unable to go to the stores to find more merchandise. I have more of my own clothing to list but with no people buying I'm not putting in that effort. That, plus the fact that a lot of clothing stores are going under now and my little side business is going to go kaput. I was finally enjoying myself doing something I liked and at least could make a little money at, plus benefiting from the exercise I got doing it, and now *POOF*.....gone. Once again, back to the drawing board.

Yeah No - where do you sell your clothes? I would think in the coming months with clothing stores possibly having financial difficulties that this would be a great time for your business!

Not sure if I've talked about this before - I doubt it since it's TOTALLY off topic, but if I have, I apologize. MANY years ago I had an ovarian tumor. Had surgery/treatments/all is well except I still have those damn hot flashes. Still - so does almost every other woman! But then a year and a half ago I had a lump in my breast and had to have a lumpectomy and all of the crap that goes with cancer all over again. For some reason I was positive I wasn't going to make it through a second time so I started selling off all of my collections. Heaven knows NONE of my kids are interested in a thing I own.

So I did it on Ebay. I honestly didn't feel that Ebay's fees were unreasonable considering I was reaching interested buyers all over the United States. I have heard too many horror stories to sell worldwide - BUT - there are these "clearing houses" where buyers intercede for foreign buyers - they buy the stuff - you send it to an address in the U.S. - and then THEY deal with the customs and whatnot from the other countries. It was great. I have over 5700 feedback and it's all positive. (OK, OK - I admit it - a lot of that feedback is from BUYING stuff! lol) I sold everything I wanted to so I am DONE - but it made me happy to have my things go to people who would treasure them, and it filled my bank account at the same time!

I got a lot of my boxes from our local Dollar Tree - I would go over there on Tuesday mornings after they had opened up their shipments and there were literally HUNDREDS of boxes of all shapes and sizes. Some of the stuff I shopped in priority mail boxes that I got free from the post office - it's flat rate postage.

Would you consider such a thing? If only you had a younger friend or helper who would take your things to the post office for you? If not, this wouldn't work for you. But it's certainly worth suggesting. I wish you lived in my state - many of my kids would be glad to do it for you.

Yeah No · May 18, 2020

3 hours ago, Kyanight said:

Yeah No - where do you sell your clothes? I would think in the coming months with clothing stores possibly having financial difficulties that this would be a great time for your business!

I sell on eBay. One WOULD think this would be a great time to sell but all eBay sales are way off and there are threads full of sellers griping on it on their message boards. Clothing especially. Obviously with people stuck at home no one needs clothes plus so many people are unemployed that no one is in a spending mood. At this time last year my stuff was selling very well. This year it's crickets. Of course if I were selling masks or hand sanitizer I'm sure it would be different. I actually had a great holiday season but just around the beginning of March BOOM, sales dropped sharply and suddenly down to zero.

I only started selling a little over a year ago and even then people were complaining that their sales weren't as good as years ago and blamed the fact that now there are lots of other similar sites out there in competition with eBay like Mercari and Poshmark. I do think that the fact that there are so many people out there doing the same thing these days has something to do with that. I wonder how well I would have done back then. Some people suggested cross-listing on those sites, but it involves a lot of extra time and effort so I have been hesitating. Plus I'm not sure I trust some of those sites from a selling point of view based on stuff I've read about them.

4 hours ago, Kyanight said:

Not sure if I've talked about this before - I doubt it since it's TOTALLY off topic, but if I have, I apologize. MANY years ago I had an ovarian tumor. Had surgery/treatments/all is well except I still have those damn hot flashes. Still - so does almost every other woman! But then a year and a half ago I had a lump in my breast and had to have a lumpectomy and all of the crap that goes with cancer all over again. For some reason I was positive I wasn't going to make it through a second time so I started selling off all of my collections. Heaven knows NONE of my kids are interested in a thing I own.

So I did it on Ebay. I honestly didn't feel that Ebay's fees were unreasonable considering I was reaching interested buyers all over the United States. I have heard too many horror stories to sell worldwide - BUT - there are these "clearing houses" where buyers intercede for foreign buyers - they buy the stuff - you send it to an address in the U.S. - and then THEY deal with the customs and whatnot from the other countries. It was great. I have over 5700 feedback and it's all positive. (OK, OK - I admit it - a lot of that feedback is from BUYING stuff! lol) I sold everything I wanted to so I am DONE - but it made me happy to have my things go to people who would treasure them, and it filled my bank account at the same time!

I got a lot of my boxes from our local Dollar Tree - I would go over there on Tuesday mornings after they had opened up their shipments and there were literally HUNDREDS of boxes of all shapes and sizes. Some of the stuff I shopped in priority mail boxes that I got free from the post office - it's flat rate postage.

Would you consider such a thing? If only you had a younger friend or helper who would take your things to the post office for you? If not, this wouldn't work for you. But it's certainly worth suggesting. I wish you lived in my state - many of my kids would be glad to do it for you.

Oh wow, sorry to hear about what you went through with your health scare, that's rough. I'm so happy you came through it OK, though! I have been afraid to use that overseas shipping service eBay offers. I have heard that there are potential issues even using that so I have been a little too afraid to do that. Plus in the beginning before I realized it my listings defaulted to saying I shipped overseas but interestingly no one overseas ever bought any of my stuff. This went on for a few months until I realized it and changed my listings back to "US only". 5700 feedback? Wow, I have only 237 with 100% positive feedback and that includes buying! I have done everything in the book to market my stuff including paying a little extra for promotion in some cases plus offering special discounts to watchers. I've even photographed them appealingly from all angles. I am very aware of what others are selling similar items for so I'm not overpricing stuff. Plus a significant portion of my stuff is in great condition and even "new with tags" given that my weight fluctuated so much after menopause that I have stuff in several different sizes, some unworn. And then too I stopped working so I had all these pretty "business casual" things to sell. A lot of the nicest stuff like business appropriate blazers and trousers you can't give away anymore as more people work from home and offices get even more casual. I think there is a general crisis in the fashion industry that no one is talking about that also affects this. On top of everything else, a lot of my stuff is in petite sizes, which I wonder how much has to do with it. Not the pants, I have always worn regular sizes in pants. But it didn't seem to be an issue last year.

Also an issue is that at the end of last summer I scored some GREAT designer bathing suits at Lord & Taylor and Macy's clearance racks at rock bottom prices that were selling very well even during the holiday season as people traveled down to warmer climates, but these days with travel nonexistent and beaches still closed I have only sold 3 bathing suits in 3 months and one of them got returned! I didn't used to offer returns but after reading the wisdom of a lot of power sellers I changed that when sales fell off because of the pandemic. Now I'm not so sure it was a great idea, but I'm not changing it back for now anyway.

Contrary to popular belief it's just not as easy as it once was to sell stuff online now probably because there are lots more people just like me out there doing the exact same thing. Also an issue is that a lot of the big retailers have slashed their prices and in some cases it can be hard to compete with THEM, believe it or not. Once stuff goes on clearance forget it. I have seen the exact same jeans on Kohls clearance for a few dollars more than I'm selling them for (factoring in shipping) and they go like hotcakes on their site but my stuff sits there even though it's a better deal. Consumer confidence? They don't trust small sellers? Or they're trying to use or win Kohl's cash? Who knows? In some cases I have slashed prices and even THAT doesn't work. It's very strange. I wish I knew what it was like a few years back to have a point of reference but a lot of sellers are complaining these days so I know it's not just me.

When it comes to mailing, most of my stuff is flat enough to fit in the mail slot outside the post office or if not, the one in the vestibule near the PO boxes. It involves walking inside a little bit but so far I have been OK with that. I live very close to the PO so it's not a big deal. I wait until mid afternoon when it's not busy and duck in. They have been leaving the doors wide open so I can just run in and out in seconds. If I see people coming I wait until the coast is clear. It's a small PO so it's easy to do this. There was only one time so far that I had to pass people on the way out but I ducked into the PO box area until they passed so as not to come too close to them.

I actually was selling some of my mother's vintage art pencils that are worth about $40-$50 a PIECE for a while and that was going very well but I haven't listed any of them since February so as not to have to go to the PO counter since I pack them in boxes with a lot of bubble wrap. Even with the pre-paid labels I'd have to go up to the counter and throw the package in the box next to the cashiers. They all know me there and don't mind if I just dump things and run without standing on line. But I don't want to even do that these days, especially if I have to pass a line of people. So that's been an issue too. Thanks for your offer, I wish I could take you up on it! I don't happen to know any young people well enough close by that I could recruit for this. Even my closest neighbors' kids are all grown and out of the house. I might ask my local post office if they'd be willing to take it from my mailbox but I admit that since my father's death I have not had much motivation to do that. Some of the problem also might be that I'm too depressed to deal with this issue right now.

But thanks so much for your advice, I really appreciate it! If you have any more don't hesitate to share! 🙂

laurakaye · May 18, 2020

On 5/17/2020 at 12:35 AM, Yeah No said:

Also, I read that JC Penney filed for bankruptcy and Lord & Taylor is going to liquidate its remaining stores when they reopen. At this rate the only places for me to buy clothes will be Marshalls, Walmart and Target if all the women's clothing stores go away. Is no one upset about this but me?

I am pretty crushed about JC Penney, not gonna lie - shallow as that sounds, I get probably 75% of my clothes there. That business has been on shaky ground for awhile now, but once they revamped their stores a few years ago it's made a world of difference and I pretty much always find what I need there, from shoes to bathing suits to dresses and jeans, t-shirts, etc.

This is going to be scary and sad once we all get through the worst of this crisis - we're all going to be watching our local news and finding out which businesses will be forced to close their doors. Once we start reopening our state, I plan on shopping and dining (take-out) exclusively at the places I sincerely hope can manage to stay open to give whatever support I can, however small.

Kohola3 · May 18, 2020

Bankruptcy doesn't necessarily mean the end of a business, though. They may be able to reorganize, close some stores, and keep the name alive. Time will tell.

Yeah No · May 18, 2020

17 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

I am pretty crushed about JC Penney, not gonna lie - shallow as that sounds, I get probably 75% of my clothes there. That business has been on shaky ground for awhile now, but once they revamped their stores a few years ago it's made a world of difference and I pretty much always find what I need there, from shoes to bathing suits to dresses and jeans, t-shirts, etc.

This is going to be scary and sad once we all get through the worst of this crisis - we're all going to be watching our local news and finding out which businesses will be forced to close their doors. Once we start reopening our state, I plan on shopping and dining (take-out) exclusively at the places I sincerely hope can manage to stay open to give whatever support I can, however small.

I buy maybe 25% of my clothes there myself but I really count on them because I wear petite sizes on top since I'm pear shaped and short so there are limited places I can buy stuff that fits. I'm actually pretty hopeful that Penney's will survive. They've been through some bad times before and made it through. Their stores in my area are pretty busy and if they have to close some I hope at least one of them will survive. I'm really gutted about Lord & Taylor, though. I knew they were really circling the drain after they closed their flagship store in NYC last year. I knew the store in my area was struggling. Of course that made it easier for me to find bargains there for myself and my eBay listings. I bought all my girlfriends Christmas gifts there last year on fantastic one day specials. Really nice quality stuff at great prices - better than Marshalls. After Christmas I stocked up on some nice things to sell on eBay like cashmere sweaters, which mostly sold before the pandemic. I was able to make at least $10-$20 on each one. Not to mention the bathing suits I paid like $25 for that I sell for at least $50-$60 each. What am I going to do NOW? Stuff from my closet doesn't sell as fast and often doesn't make as much of a profit.

I've been wondering if it might work to try to find a wholesaler and become a full-fledged eBay business and store, but then I'd be subject to tax and all that stuff. As of now my sales are not considered taxable income because this is considered a "hobby business", not a professional business if that makes any sense. I could always stalk online clearances but that's hard to do because a lot of people are out there doing the same thing. At least in my area I have limited competition plus I seem to know just when to strike with clearance racks after several decades of being a shopper.

But I can't imagine what a lot of women are going to do, especially in my area. Without the dept. stores there is literally NO PLACE TO SHOP for dressy things like what to wear to a wedding or prom around here. And women need access to fitting rooms to know which brands fit them. Buying things online doesn't work at all even with measurements provided for a lot of things (especially dresses), but if you know how a brand tends to fit you, it's easier to take that chance. And you wouldn't know that unless you had the opportunity to try it on somewhere. Plus shoes, who can buy shoes online? I'm looking at a few pairs on the Target site but I'm afraid to order them because I know their sizing can vary from year to year. Do I have to buy 3 sizes and then return the rest? And risk going to the store or deal with mailing them back? Then I"d have to risk going to the post office!

I just bought 3 open front summer cardigans on the Kohl's site. They're the same style they had last year so I knew I could take the chance on buying them. But even so one of them was HUGE (obviously mis-marked) so I have to wait now until I feel ready to risk bringing it back. That's another thing - without the stores to bring things back to sending them back can often feel like a bigger imposition than just going to the store because you might be out shopping anyway and don't mind doing it. And depending on how you bought it online if you send it back you might have to swallow the shipping costs at least one or both ways.

So it sucks, especially for women but somehow no one is talking about that. Everyone claims that people want to buy stuff online but I've read that in 20 years of online shopping it still only accounts for something like 27% of total retail sales. So obviously people still like going to the store better. And especially after two months of doing that I'm wondering if like me people are more frustrated and disappointed with that than just going to the store.

Kyanight · May 18, 2020

40 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

So it sucks, especially for women but somehow no one is talking about that. Everyone claims that people want to buy stuff online but I've read that in 20 years of online shopping it still only accounts for something like 27% of total retail sales. So obviously people still like going to the store better. And especially after two months of doing that I'm wondering if like me people are more frustrated and disappointed with that than just going to the store.

Other than goofy cat-lady T-shirts (and very few, at that!) I have never bought a single item of clothing online. Not one. I will have to ask my girls if they ever buy online, but I doubt it.

Nysha · May 18, 2020

On 5/17/2020 at 9:30 AM, Kyanight said:

And there is going to be a huge fourth of July parade, I heard... to boost the peoples' morale. Not in Colorado - I'm guessing in Washington D.C.?

Like the Philadelphia Liberty Loan parade in 1918 that helped expose thousands to the Spanish Flu? We just don't learn from history, do we?!?

wilsie · May 18, 2020

@Kyanight I had cataract surgery 3 1/2 years ago and it was truly a piece of cake. The hardest part was time spent in the waiting room before the surgery. There really wasn't a whole lot to pass the time although there were a lot of people in there with me and some of us talked. I don't how they'll work out distancing where you go during this time. Both my eye doctors were excellent and the surgery was very fast. It was such a good experience that I got to talk to someone who was apprehensive about the surgery while she was waiting and it helped her. I hope this is a help to you. One thing I noticed after the surgery is that I could see better to drive at night right after having one eye done. Everyone is different. My near vision had been fine for small things and the computer but after the surgery I needed readers. I use 1:25 correction. I got them from the Dollar Tree. That's what they let me use after my surgery in recovery and they have worked well for these 3 1/2 years. I also noticed that after the first eye was done I had a depth perception problem. It was fine when the second eye was done but I could misstep. Not everyone is the same. But I hope this is a help. Good luck!

Teafortwo · May 18, 2020

17 hours ago, Kohola3 said:

I know that there have been terrible financial consequences but how much is a human life worth? How many deaths are "acceptable" to open things back up? Name a figure and then pencil in one of your relatives to fill a slot.

Exactly. To make matters worse (on a personal level), I applied for a contact tracer position. It's a political stew because the NYC Mayor picked a crony to run the program. Traditionally, the Health Department handles contact tracing for a variety of contagious diseases. For Covid, however, this was reassigned to the NYC Health and Hospitals Corp., headed by the Mayor's crony. Today we learned that in order to keep the job, we have to go to an office building in the Financial district to get fingerprinted, within 30 days of our start date, or be terminated (and likely ineligible for Unemployment as a result). They are hiring at least 2500 contact tracers/supervisors. I have not yet officially been offered the job (I was supposed to have an interview today but they rescheduled at the last minute). However, I believe the interview is just a formality since I am being copied on all communications, after submitting some documents last week.

Think about that. 2500 people have to be fingerprinted. Most of them have to take public transit to the Financial district. The point of contact tracing is to LIMIT the spread of Coronavirus. My fingerprints are already on file with the City, as I worked the 2010 Census and also taught in a public school Saturday enrichment program several years ago. I was fingerprinted both times. But I think Health & Hospitals does not have access to the City fingerprint database. So now I personally have to decide whether to risk my health or my livelihood. The job is completely work from home - except for this newly announced requirement. The pay is close to the base pay I was getting at my former sales job.

I don't know how essential workers are doing this. I think of @Meowwww and so many others every day. I'm afraid to go to the laundry room in my building for fear of running into neighbors who don't take the same precautions that I do. I don't know if I can bring myself to go get fingerprinted.

Kohola3 · May 18, 2020

15 minutes ago, Teafortwo said:

Today we learned that in order to keep the job, we have to go to an office building in the Financial district to get fingerprinted, within 30 days of our start date, or be terminated (and likely ineligible for Unemployment as a result).

Definitely a difference in requirements. I applied as well (volunteer, though, no pay) and while I had to fill out a ton of paperwork including a background check nothing was said about fingerprints at all. I don't blame you for being concerned!

@Kyanight, while I haven't had cataract surgery (yet) both of my parents did and had such an improvement that my mom never wore glasses again. A friend just had it and her only complaint was the fact that she had worn glassed for umpteen years and she kept reaching to push them up - and she no longer had to wear them.

Yeah No · May 19, 2020

9 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

Exactly. To make matters worse (on a personal level), I applied for a contact tracer position. It's a political stew because the NYC Mayor picked a crony to run the program. Traditionally, the Health Department handles contact tracing for a variety of contagious diseases. For Covid, however, this was reassigned to the NYC Health and Hospitals Corp., headed by the Mayor's crony. Today we learned that in order to keep the job, we have to go to an office building in the Financial district to get fingerprinted, within 30 days of our start date, or be terminated (and likely ineligible for Unemployment as a result). They are hiring at least 2500 contact tracers/supervisors. I have not yet officially been offered the job (I was supposed to have an interview today but they rescheduled at the last minute). However, I believe the interview is just a formality since I am being copied on all communications, after submitting some documents last week.

Think about that. 2500 people have to be fingerprinted. Most of them have to take public transit to the Financial district. The point of contact tracing is to LIMIT the spread of Coronavirus. My fingerprints are already on file with the City, as I worked the 2010 Census and also taught in a public school Saturday enrichment program several years ago. I was fingerprinted both times. But I think Health & Hospitals does not have access to the City fingerprint database. So now I personally have to decide whether to risk my health or my livelihood. The job is completely work from home - except for this newly announced requirement. The pay is close to the base pay I was getting at my former sales job.

I hear you, how ridiculous. I would think they could waive that requirement under the present circumstances. Too bad they couldn't accept the prints you already have on file. I know that some gov't. jobs in NY require fingerprinting. My SIL works at a BOCES and had to be fingerprinted. Over 30 years ago I was fingerprinted when taking the NYC police exam. If I were you I wouldn't do it, especially if I had to get on public transportation, which of course you'd have to take to get there. I cringe thinking of those tiny, stuffy subway stations down in that area. And you already know how I feel about getting in a cab or limo. given what my husband does for a living.

9 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

I don't know how essential workers are doing this. I think of @Meowwww and so many others every day. I'm afraid to go to the laundry room in my building for fear of running into neighbors who don't take the same precautions that I do. I don't know if I can bring myself to go get fingerprinted.

My best friend lives in Marble Hill in the Bronx right over the 225th St. Bridge from Manhattan. She says her laundry room is limited to one person at a time and because of that it can be tricky to get in. When she has gotten in she is paranoid and wears her mask and gloves and takes the staircase up instead of the elevator (she lives on the 2nd floor). She has started hand washing a lot of stuff she normally would put through the machine.

*Sigh*. I know how you feel. I'm petrified to go to my father's apartment for several reasons, not the least of which is having to get in the elevator. That building should have more than one elevator given the number of apartments it has, but somehow it was able to get around the rule when it was built 46 years ago. If only one person at a time were allowed in it you'd have to wait forever to get up and down. And my father's apartment is on the top floor of a 6 story building. I'm not even sure I would feel comfortable taking the stuffy staircase much less would I want to climb up and down six floors. You can't be even 3 feet apart in those elevators much less 6, plus the air in them is stagnant and even after people get out the virus could linger. My husband says he wouldn't want to get in with anything less effective than a scuba tank and mask. And that is only ONE issue that is inhibiting me from going down there right now! The list goes on!

Gov. Cuomo spoke last week about a study being done in NY to ask hospitalized Covid patients what they were doing in the weeks before they got sick and they found that something like 66% of those asked said they were sheltering in place at home. Most of them were seniors that lived in apartments. Now the survey didn't ask whether they lived with anyone that wasn't sheltering or if they let people into the apartment, but I'll bet that has to be the case. Either that or they were going to get mail and touching surfaces in the building and breathing stale air without a mask and gloves and not sanitizing.

My best friend is not opening any of her windows that face the courtyard of her building because the facing apartments are pretty close on that side. She is lucky to live on the corner of the building so at least she feels safe enough to open her kitchen and bedroom windows. It's sad that she even feels afraid to open windows.

My car lease is up at the end of June and I either have to buy it or lease a new one. I was leaning toward leasing a new one before the pandemic but now I am not sure I want to have to deal with getting a new one even if they offer me "contactless delivery" of the vehicle. It's just yet another issue I am dreading dealing with. I'm not driving the car much lately anyway. My husband said I can drive his old Lincoln Towncar for a while until things change, but I'm not sure I want to do that for a lot of logistical reasons. It's a decision that has become much tougher than it should be.

Ay, there's the rub, right? It's like that with everything these days.

Kyanight · May 19, 2020

8 hours ago, Yeah No said:

My best friend is not opening any of her windows that face the courtyard of her building because the facing apartments are pretty close on that side. She is lucky to live on the corner of the building so at least she feels safe enough to open her kitchen and bedroom windows. It's sad that she even feels afraid to open windows.

I can understand this! I also TOTALLY understand your reluctance to use elevators at your dad's apartment building. AND your car situation. Life is so tricky to navigate right now!

Yesterday morning we had a tragedy. My son brought in his little tuxedo kitty for me to see - he had blood and some gooey stuff on his head. He held the kitty and I cleaned his little head.. and then it became obvious to both my son and I that the kitty was really injured. There was still blood oozing out and his entire head was horribly misshapen - kind of buckled up really weird under the fur. This kitty isn't just a kitty - he's like everything sweet in life rolled up in one little fur ball - and he's my son's best friend. We call it "Once in a lifetime kitty", but it can be a dog or a guinea pig or any kind of pet to another person... but it's that really SPECIAL pet that is MORE than a pet, if that makes sense. I know that most of you have all had that REALLY special pet in your life that will always stand out, despite loving ALL of your pets that come and go.

Anyway.... my son rushed him to the emergency vet clinic nearby. (When we finally got him out from under my bed where I was sure he had crawled to die.) Our theory was that he jumped off of the cat tower onto my son's computer chair and the chair swiveled around and bashed the kitty into my son's sharp-edged computer desk. Or something. Who knows.

Because of Covid, you now hand your pet to the staff at the door and you sit in your car. So if your pet dies, it dies without you and you don't get to say goodbye. After 40 minutes passed I called the vet to see if he was dead or alive and she said he was "stable" and the doctor was finishing up with another animal and would call me back.

The prognosis?? Kitty had a big abscess on his head and it burst. His head looked misshapen because the fur was stretched up from blood and pus. They drained it and gave him an antibiotic shot and we brought him home. Whew!!! It was our lucky day.

But I would have thought that they would allow a person inside the clinic with their pet. Beauty salons and tattoo parlors are open. Stores are now open. I went to the eye doctor. People are going to the dentist. But you cannot be with your pet. And you cannot be with a loved one in the hospital any more.

This is a virus, and they never find a cure for a virus because they always mutate. But I want this to be over so badly and I KNOW that all of you do, too.

laurakaye · May 19, 2020

On a far lighter note - I have very short hair that is growing out. Last haircut was in February - I normally go every six weeks. In a desperate attempt to not look like a shaggy dog, last night I studied several YouTube videos on how to curl short hair with a flatiron, tried it, and it actually looked cute! Got up this morning, tried it again - I looked like I slept on wet hair and forgot how to use a brush. After trying to curl it, then straighten the doofy sticking-up curls, then trying to curl it again I gave up, hit it with some hairspray and went to work. I envy those of you who can throw your hair in a bun or pony and off you go. 🙂

This bit of shallowness was brought to you by someone who just can't dill with the harsher realities of what may be in store for our world, so fighting with my hair is about as deep as I can go right now.

EDIT: I posted this just after @Kyanight's very scary pet story. My timing sucks, I apologize. Glad your furbaby is okay!

Edited May 19, 2020 by laurakaye

Meowwww · May 19, 2020

2 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

I can understand this! I also TOTALLY understand your reluctance to use elevators at your dad's apartment building. AND your car situation. Life is so tricky to navigate right now!

Yesterday morning we had a tragedy. My son brought in his little tuxedo kitty for me to see - he had blood and some gooey stuff on his head. He held the kitty and I cleaned his little head.. and then it became obvious to both my son and I that the kitty was really injured. There was still blood oozing out and his entire head was horribly misshapen - kind of buckled up really weird under the fur. This kitty isn't just a kitty - he's like everything sweet in life rolled up in one little fur ball - and he's my son's best friend. We call it "Once in a lifetime kitty", but it can be a dog or a guinea pig or any kind of pet to another person... but it's that really SPECIAL pet that is MORE than a pet, if that makes sense. I know that most of you have all had that REALLY special pet in your life that will always stand out, despite loving ALL of your pets that come and go.

Anyway.... my son rushed him to the emergency vet clinic nearby. (When we finally got him out from under my bed where I was sure he had crawled to die.) Our theory was that he jumped off of the cat tower onto my son's computer chair and the chair swiveled around and bashed the kitty into my son's sharp-edged computer desk. Or something. Who knows.

Because of Covid, you now hand your pet to the staff at the door and you sit in your car. So if your pet dies, it dies without you and you don't get to say goodbye. After 40 minutes passed I called the vet to see if he was dead or alive and she said he was "stable" and the doctor was finishing up with another animal and would call me back.

The prognosis?? Kitty had a big abscess on his head and it burst. His head looked misshapen because the fur was stretched up from blood and pus. They drained it and gave him an antibiotic shot and we brought him home. Whew!!! It was our lucky day.

But I would have thought that they would allow a person inside the clinic with their pet. Beauty salons and tattoo parlors are open. Stores are now open. I went to the eye doctor. People are going to the dentist. But you cannot be with your pet. And you cannot be with a loved one in the hospital any more.

This is a virus, and they never find a cure for a virus because they always mutate. But I want this to be over so badly and I KNOW that all of you do, too.

I’m so glad your kitty is ok!!!! They probably told you, but watch him carefully. Kitty skin grows fast and if there’s any infection still in there, it could close up over it and he might need a re-draining, or even a drain tube. (Source: me. I had a kitty with an abscess on his side and it took many landings and finally a drain tube to clear it up).
The vet thing is interesting and it’s happening here too. It’s been claimed the virus can live on animals’ fur, though. Who knows if that’s true or not. My little country vet clinic doesn’t have PPE other than masks. I can’t imagine knowing it’s time to say goodbye and having to sit in the car.

Kyanight · May 19, 2020

3 minutes ago, Meowwww said:

I’m so glad your kitty is ok!!!! They probably told you, but watch him carefully. Kitty skin grows fast and if there’s any infection still in there, it could close up over it and he might need a re-draining, or even a drain tube. (Source: me. I had a kitty with an abscess on his side and it took many landings and finally a drain tube to clear it up).

We are pressing a warm wash cloth on his head about four times a day and we make sure that blood comes out on the washcloth. Of course yesterday was only day one. The vet did tell us that he might have to lance it in the next few days. I sure hope not! We had a one-eyed kitty we rescued from an abuse situation and she got an abscess in her eye socket and had to have a drain. NOT fun!!

And Laura - I LOVE hearing stories that aren't full of gloom and doom!! And hair stories are always fun, lol. I wish I could pull off a turban, but I have a feeling I would just look ridiculous.

Kohola3 · May 19, 2020

Poor kitty! Fingers crossed for a rapid cure.

I also have had short hair since high school in the last century and this is driving me seriously nutty. I do what I can but when I got up this morning and looked in the mirror I found myself staring at Woody Woodpecker head. Sigh. Time to cut some eye holes in a bag and just stick that over my head.

I wonder if I need to wear a mask under it.

TurtlePower · May 19, 2020

19 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

I don't know how essential workers are doing this. I think of @Meowwww and so many others every day. I'm afraid to go to the laundry room in my building for fear of running into neighbors who don't take the same precautions that I do. I don't know if I can bring myself to go get fingerprinted.

I used to be “essential” (ems/rescue/LE) and while this pandemic is scary, it’s a risk we’re willing to take. The public sometimes forgets we faced a lot of risk already before this—I’ve been spit on, kicked, hit, exposed to pathogens (and gotten sick), nearly died from heat stoke on a rescue and was almost kicked off a cliff by a violent suspect. So, we were already taking risks.

I quit public safety due to burnout (and a desire to get back into my field) but part of me misses being useful. I’m considering getting back into the rescue field despite the risk.

AZChristian · May 19, 2020

11 hours ago, Yeah No said:

My car lease is up at the end of June and I either have to buy it or lease a new one. I was leaning toward leasing a new one before the pandemic but now I am not sure I want to have to deal with getting a new one even if they offer me "contactless delivery" of the vehicle. It's just yet another issue I am dreading dealing with. I'm not driving the car much lately anyway.

Have you spoken with the car leasing folks to see if they are willing to extend your contract on a month-to-month basis? Lots of companies are making accommodations to lessen contact at this time.

Our car registration was to expire on April 30. We were supposed to have an emissions inspection done before being able to renew the registration this year. I immediately decided, "No way are we taking the car to an inspection station, and allowing a tech to get into the driver's seat while we wait in a little plastic booth (since we had NO idea who might have been in that booth before us)." But the State of Arizona has granted those of us over 60 a one-year extension for the inspection, so we were able to get a one-year registration sticker.

Good luck with your situation!

Gramto6 · May 19, 2020

@Kyanight hope your fur baby heals quickly. I can't imagine having to wait in the car under those circumstances.

Kohola3 · May 19, 2020

3 minutes ago, Gramto6 said:

I can't imagine having to wait in the car under those circumstances.

I think it depends on the vet. At mine, I had to wait in the car for treatment but my neighbor was allowed to come in when her cat had to be put down. They were very kind about it.

sharkerbaby · May 19, 2020

On 5/16/2020 at 11:35 PM, Yeah No said:

Also, I read that JC Penney filed for bankruptcy and Lord & Taylor is going to liquidate its remaining stores when they reopen. At this rate the only places for me to buy clothes will be Marshalls, Walmart and Target if all the women's clothing stores go away. Is no one upset about this but me? Where I live I don't have other choices other than Kohls and Macy's and they're both on shaky ground too. I'm not going to shop at mall stores aimed at kids either - can't fit those clothes anyway. If the dept. stores close I will literally have nowhere to shop and I'm not blessed with an ideal figure that can order everything online without a lot of trouble. I have a bunch of things that I ordered online and have to return because they don't fit right. I just don't understand why more people aren't really upset about this.

I suspect there are a lot of people upset about this as well as the probability that a whole slew of other types of business will also close. The problem is that if one expresses these concerns they face the likelihood that they will be labeled as selfish, uncaring, ignorant, and only concerned about themselves.

On 5/17/2020 at 11:30 AM, Kyanight said:

I read something this morning in my Colorado news that basically said (I am REALLY dumbing this down here) "Yeah, we counted too many people in our Covid19 death totals, so this virus is really not that big of a deal, after all." And there is going to be a huge fourth of July parade, I heard... to boost the peoples' morale. Not in Colorado - I'm guessing in Washington D.C.?

So my opinion is that yes - they will open sooner rather than later, by adjusting facts to justify their decisions. I've been recording the number of daily cases and deaths since early March. Since many of the states governments have started opening things up in their phase 2 modes, the numbers have gone down instead of going up or even staying steady. I'm waiting to see the numbers in a week or two. I hate being lied to by the government.

I think we all hate being mislead by anyone or any entity. Unfortunately, it happens all the time from all sources, I don't believe there are any unbiased, impartial, neutral sources or reporters of information, and this phenomenon has only gotten more polarized over the last few decades.

CalicoKitty · May 19, 2020

I had to take my 5-year-old black and white cat to the vet for her 6 month mouth check up. She came to me as a one-year-old with gingivitis and has had 8 abscessed teeth pulled already. The vet I really liked left when the Covid started, so I sat in the car and spoke to a vet I did not know. He told me all of her teeth need to be pulled soon, and I need to make an appointment at Davis (UC Davis vet school). I decided to get a second opinion from a vet I highly respect, only to find out that HE had retired suddenly. So, I made an appointment with the new vet at that office. No, she didn't need her teeth pulled, but she needs to have a cleaning, and will need a cleaning each year. She sent me an estimate for the cleaning (are you sitting down??) for $2300. To clean a cat's teeth. A cat, not a human child. A cat who is already missing 8 teeth. So I went to the vet who pulled her teeth two years ago. No, she probably doesn't need her teeth pulled, no, she doesn't really need a cleaning now, but she needs an anti-inflammatory injection to help her gums, and a cleaning soon. Estimate for cleaning--$450--up to $800 if they have to pull all her teeth. So, she got the shot, she is eating better, and we will hold off on any further treatment. She can keep her teeth for the time being. It pays to get second, and third opinions!! (For an inexpensive rescue shelter cat, she sure is expensive!)

deirdra · May 19, 2020

1 hour ago, CalicoKitty said:

She can keep her teeth for the time being. It pays to get second, and third opinions!! (For an inexpensive rescue shelter cat, she sure is expensive!)

I had a mother & son rescue kitties who both had chronic dental disease. After ~5 dentals on Mom over ~10 yrs, she ended up with no molars (pulled a few at a time by a vet I like and trust). Her son's teeth were on the same track, so we decided to pull the rest of the molars at the second dental rather than put him through multiple anesthesias & dentals as he aged. Since cats don't really chew their food, they don't need molars, and they keep their canines so that they feel like cats. The cost per tooth extraction is minimal compared to the anesthesia & pre-anesthesia lab tests, so cheaper in the long term, and they didn't develop tooth pain or need dentals again. Mom lived to be 20 and son to 22.5.

Edited May 19, 2020 by deirdra

Meowwww · May 20, 2020

4 hours ago, CalicoKitty said:

I had to take my 5-year-old black and white cat to the vet for her 6 month mouth check up. She came to me as a one-year-old with gingivitis and has had 8 abscessed teeth pulled already. The vet I really liked left when the Covid started, so I sat in the car and spoke to a vet I did not know. He told me all of her teeth need to be pulled soon, and I need to make an appointment at Davis (UC Davis vet school). I decided to get a second opinion from a vet I highly respect, only to find out that HE had retired suddenly. So, I made an appointment with the new vet at that office. No, she didn't need her teeth pulled, but she needs to have a cleaning, and will need a cleaning each year. She sent me an estimate for the cleaning (are you sitting down??) for $2300. To clean a cat's teeth. A cat, not a human child. A cat who is already missing 8 teeth. So I went to the vet who pulled her teeth two years ago. No, she probably doesn't need her teeth pulled, no, she doesn't really need a cleaning now, but she needs an anti-inflammatory injection to help her gums, and a cleaning soon. Estimate for cleaning--$450--up to $800 if they have to pull all her teeth. So, she got the shot, she is eating better, and we will hold off on any further treatment. She can keep her teeth for the time being. It pays to get second, and third opinions!! (For an inexpensive rescue shelter cat, she sure is expensive!)

I had a vet want to do a root canal on my dog (well, to send me to a canine dentist to do so.). $5000. I love my dog. But geez. It’s the big giant double-tooth looking molar. We had it pulled. Someone needs to invent real dental insurance for animals lol.
My mare (horse) gets her teeth floated (ground down and pulled if necessary) every year and that’s only $250.00 including call charge and sedation.
My Moo kitty has really bad teeth. She has very few left, some pulled, some fell out. She has stomatitis which causes this poor painful kitty mouth. She’s due to go in for a cleaning, and pulling, but she’s ten and I worry.

Yeah No · May 20, 2020

15 hours ago, Kyanight said:

Because of Covid, you now hand your pet to the staff at the door and you sit in your car. So if your pet dies, it dies without you and you don't get to say goodbye. After 40 minutes passed I called the vet to see if he was dead or alive and she said he was "stable" and the doctor was finishing up with another animal and would call me back.

The prognosis?? Kitty had a big abscess on his head and it burst. His head looked misshapen because the fur was stretched up from blood and pus. They drained it and gave him an antibiotic shot and we brought him home. Whew!!! It was our lucky day.

But I would have thought that they would allow a person inside the clinic with their pet. Beauty salons and tattoo parlors are open. Stores are now open. I went to the eye doctor. People are going to the dentist. But you cannot be with your pet. And you cannot be with a loved one in the hospital any more.

Oh, my heart breaks whenever I hear about a hurt pet! It seems like so many on this board have had situations that have forced them into medical offices for one reason or another. I am petrified of doing that. I just postponed my mammogram for a second time all the way to July and I might even reschedule it again. I do it at my local hospital and I am more afraid of going to a hospital than most places.

Maybe the prohibition against a person accompanying their pet was to protect the doctors (and you from the doctors) more than anything else? I'm just conjecturing there. I give up trying to figure out the nonsensical decisions being made by states and local government. In my state they are going to open beauty salons in phase 1 but nail salons have to wait until phase 2. Now I get it that a manicure can take an hour and you're sitting really close to the manicurist in stagnant air. But that's also the case with some procedures in hair salons. I know women that spend hours there having their hair colored in a 2 step process, cut, washed, dried, curled, you name it, and the stylist has to spend quite some time poring over their heads. I hate to say that this is the kind of decision made by people that don't know what's involved in what they're deciding on, like men whose hair cuts last a total of 5 minutes without the chit-chat and other unnecessary stuff. The original rule was that no blow dryers could be used but they had to give into pressure by stylists that claimed that they could not perform most of their services without it, especially for women with long, thick, curly or kinky hair.

When I read about a pet possibly dying without their owner there it stung but then I remembered that happened to me with my own father. I was told not to even enter the same STATE much less the hospital while he lay there dying. 😞

Speaking of Target Optical and the topic of more annoying decisions and situations to deal with, a few weeks ago I was able to order two more boxes of my contact lenses to last me another 6 months without having to get my required eye exam. Well, I was going through a rough time last month and when the box arrived I didn't open the package and it stayed in "quarantine" in my garage for a few weeks until the lenses I was wearing needed to be replaced. Well, I opened up the box yesterday to find that the lenses they sent me for the right eye were the wrong brand. It was the brand the doctor originally prescribed over a year ago but that I had stopped wearing soon after because they were uncomfortable. She had replaced them with a different brand that I really liked and had ordered a couple of times since then. I understood why they made the mistake and called them today to tell them about it. The man I spoke with (who I know because I've been going there for years) said he'd have to discuss it with the doctor and get back to me. Why? I'm not going to wear them, they're uncomfortable. When they sent me that recent supply he had mentioned that they were going to make an exception because of the pandemic to allow a one time extension on the exam. Maybe they don't want to order me another box like I "used up" the one time extension? But I can't wear these lenses, it shouldn't be a big deal. Well, needless to say I haven't heard from them yet and will probably have to call them back. I could wear my glasses all the time but I hate glasses for a lot of reasons and I'm actually not used to wearing them outside the house (I've been wearing contacts for 43 years!). Plus I don't have prescription sunglasses and my eyes are too sensitive to go without them in the summer. And truthfully, I just spent a lot of money on these lenses so I should be able to wear them. Grrrrrrr.....

13 hours ago, AZChristian said:

Have you spoken with the car leasing folks to see if they are willing to extend your contract on a month-to-month basis? Lots of companies are making accommodations to lessen contact at this time.

Our car registration was to expire on April 30. We were supposed to have an emissions inspection done before being able to renew the registration this year. I immediately decided, "No way are we taking the car to an inspection station, and allowing a tech to get into the driver's seat while we wait in a little plastic booth (since we had NO idea who might have been in that booth before us)." But the State of Arizona has granted those of us over 60 a one-year extension for the inspection, so we were able to get a one-year registration sticker.

Good luck with your situation!

No, I admit I haven't spoken with them and I've been putting it off because I'm just on overload with this type of stuff lately. I will have to soon, though, because the clock is ticking. If I turn in the car I also have to make an app't. to have the vehicle inspected for any damages. I won't be able to get around this if I don't keep the car, and I have similar reservations about doing this as you have with your inspection.

Thanks!

9 hours ago, sharkerbaby said:

I suspect there are a lot of people upset about this as well as the probability that a whole slew of other types of business will also close. The problem is that if one expresses these concerns they face the likelihood that they will be labeled as selfish, uncaring, ignorant, and only concerned about themselves.

I would remind those people that I think about all women when I think about these issues. Like where are any of us going to shop now if we need a dressy dress or a coat or something nice to wear somewhere? I know you know this, but it's never just about me when I think about those things. This kind of criticism is just a way for some people to invalidate the concerns of women, IMHO. I am sorry but I am seeing things in those terms lately. Just like the clueless lawmakers that don't realize the relative differences or similarities between services women get in nail vs. hair salons, those same people are equally as clueless and uninterested in anything related to women's clothing. If it doesn't matter to THEM, it doesn't get any attention or respect. Like they couldn't care less if department stores close because they don't shop in them. But when their wives or whoever shops for them can't find their favorite shirt or pants anymore then suddenly they'll wake up when it's too late. But to be honest most of them probably don't even get merchandise from the affected stores because they are too rich to buy there. I remember one candidate who claimed last fall that his shirt came from Kohls. Hey at least he knew where his shirt came from and actually wore stuff from the average person's clothing stores. Unlike some of them that are so removed from middle class stuff that it's not even on their radar.

Edited May 20, 2020 by Yeah No

sharkerbaby · May 20, 2020

9 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I would remind those people that I think about all women when I think about these issues. Like where are any of us going to shop now if we need a dressy dress or a coat or something nice to wear somewhere? I know you know this, but it's never just about me when I think about those things. This kind of criticism is just a way for some people to invalidate the concerns of women, IMHO. I am sorry but I am seeing things in those terms lately. Just like the clueless lawmakers that don't realize the relative differences or similarities between services women get in nail vs. hair salons, those same people are equally as clueless and uninterested in anything related to women's clothing. If it doesn't matter to THEM, it doesn't get any attention or respect. Like they couldn't care less if department stores close because they don't shop in them. But when their wives or whoever shops for them can't find their favorite shirt or pants anymore then suddenly they'll wake up when it's too late. But to be honest most of them probably don't even get merchandise from the affected stores because they are too rich to buy there. I remember one candidate who claimed last fall that his shirt came from Kohls. Hey at least he knew where his shirt came from and actually wore stuff from the average person's clothing stores. Unlike some of them that are so removed from middle class stuff that it's not even on their radar.

I hope you didn't take my response as an implying that I thought you were being "selfish, uncaring, ignorant, and only concerned about themselves". Quite the opposite, I had myself in mind as the one who would be labeled as such because unlike almost everyone here, I fall on the side of the spectrum that believes the measures taken were and are too extreme and should have been far more measured and targeted. When I have expressed this view elsewhere, I have been told I am all those things and more. I purposely laid low here and did not share my thoughts because when I read posts here, those sentiments were quite prevalent and stated quite explicitly so I opted for the cowardly route rather than making myself a large shining target for the the arrows that were generally cast in mass. Thereby, I was taking glancing blows rather than direct hits.

Let me state right up front, this has been a devastating disease and has had a tremendously tragic effect on people worldwide. The death and despair have been horrendous and I feel deep sorrow for all that has been wrought upon people everywhere. Like many here, I too have been directly affected by this virus and am grieving for relatives. Additionally, I, and both of my children, tick more than one criteria for be amongst the most vulnerable population so no, I do not take COVID-19 lightly nor do I believe it's a hoax nor do I think I and mine are "safe".

But I also believe people's livelihoods are important and has a great deal of impact on their overall well being and should be considered when making "shut down" and "stay at home" orders. There is most definitely and a long recognized phenomenon referred to as "deaths of despair" (most frequently suicide and drug use and overdose). This state of mind can be directly attributed to, among other things, economic ruin. It's been stated, more than once, that ones financial stability and businesses can be rebuilt and that income loss is survivable whereas frequently the coronavirus is not. I do not believe one life should be traded for another and this approach smacks of labeling someone who is mentally devastated by financial loss and sees no way to recover as weak and cowardly.

I further believe the economic costs (locally, nationally, and globally) are going to be felt far longer, more extensively, and far more severely than anyone currently will admit. We are a global economy with dependencies, connections, and intersecting lines that are so complex and extensive that it's nearly impossible to understand the radiating fissures that result from putting pressure on just one seemingly minor component of this behemoth. We have not just "put pressure on one minor component", we have crippled whole swatches of industry, retail, service, manufacturing, even agriculture on an international scale. Nothing and no one will come out of this unscathed.

To illustrate, some of this is anecdotal but is easily seen with a little observation; the average parent is not equipped to home school and school directed e-learning is not nearly as effective as a classroom model therefore the education delay for all levels of students is going to be significant, doctors and nurses are being furloughed across the country, many rural hospitals are closing or at risk of closing, unemployment has skyrocketed and many of those jobs will never come back, a high percentage of those job losses are those least able to afford a disruption of income, many cancer patients are missing chemotherapy treatments whether out of fear or other reasons, organ transplants have taken a dive because a significant number of these are considered "elective" surgeries, pediatric vaccinations are down again generally out of fear to go to the doctor, "deaths of despair" are projected to spike, UN World Food Programme predicts by year end the number of people facing acute hunger will double to 265M, and (one that is generally sneered at) our freedoms and liberties are being trampled on and I fear will forever be altered (give an inch they take a mile) we have proven we will give things up with little resistance.

And while I'm laying myself bare I might as well also share my belief that yes, while this virus is highly contagious, I do not believe it is nearly as fatal as we have been led to believe. I think when we have finally come out of this and have found ways to live with the virus, and researchers are able to impartially study the outbreak, they are going to find that the lethality rate is far less than was initially thought. The reactive response was driven primarily due to the fact that this was new, unknown, fast spreading, and seemingly untreatable - all very scary things. Unfortunately, I think it's going to be at least 5 years before we will be able to really know this because it is far too hot of a topic and far too polarized to get impartiality.

So there you go, now you all know I am a heartless, souless, despicable human being, let the roasting begin....

eta: oh and yes, I agree completely that most of the decision makers are far removed from the average population and really have little foresight into the consequences of their directives. Further, I think their primary concern is staying in power so their motivations, posturing, and messaging is with this intent rather than for the "good of the people". At least business owners (big, small, and everything in between) generally realize that they need the "little people" to keep their business running.

Edited May 20, 2020 by sharkerbaby

Kyanight · May 20, 2020

28 minutes ago, sharkerbaby said:

I hope you didn't take my response as an implying that I thought you were being "selfish, uncaring, ignorant, and only concerned about themselves". Quite the opposite, I had myself in mind as the one who would be labeled as such because unlike almost everyone here, I fall on the side of the spectrum that believes the measures taken were and are too extreme and should have been far more measured and targeted. When I have expressed this view elsewhere, I have been told I am all those things and more. I purposely laid low here and did not share my thoughts because when I read posts here, those sentiments were quite prevalent and stated quite explicitly so I opted for the cowardly route rather than making myself a large shining target for the the arrows that were generally cast in mass. Thereby, I was taking glancing blows rather than direct hits.

THIS described me exactly - although regarding a much different topic. I posted here for YEARS before I admitted I was an ex-first wife, because of the "temperature" of the board and the open disdain and dislike for "sheep" sister wives. I thought I would be hated and that people would be mean to me. Everyone has been pretty darn decent, despite how they feel about the subject - and many of them have VERY strong feelings about polygamy and the people involved. There are a few people who I feel dislike me, possibly for reasons that don't have anything to do with polygamy - life is just like that.

Having said that - I think the majority of us are very respectful for those who have different viewpoints. You won't be called any names here, and no one will shoot arrows at you. We DO see your side of the coin. It's just that many of us are elderly.... or some are older middle-aged and must still work and the virus poses a greater threat. We just express our fears about catching this and dying from it - even if this virus doesn't turn out to be the great threat they are thinking it is at this time - it is still a most horrible way to die. I love to breathe, I can't imagine having my lungs full of fluid. Maybe no different from pneumonia - but no thank you.

So we all post here about our fears and our worries and our day to day stresses... and many of those have to do with Economics, as well. So please feel free to talk about YOUR viewpoints and worries and stresses and fears and know that we will listen and understand YOUR side, too- because your side is just as valid!

Edited May 20, 2020 by Kyanight

Teafortwo · May 20, 2020

I heard from a college friend I hadn't spoken to in a few years. She lives comfortably, outside D.C. in a nice house with a yard. No financial issues as her husband is a local elected official. They have plenty of savings and are early 60s. So, after 9 or 10 weeks of lockdown she feels so deprived of normal life that she is having her son who lives in TN and works in a restaurant that reopened, come visit in a few weeks. He will not be self-quarantining or anything. That is her choice ( although I'm not sure it's her husband's) but to hear her say she is willing to risk getting sick to have her son visit (and the risk to her son making thw trip), well, this just made me feel like some of us are too soft. By that I mean, I understand if she were totally alone or in dire straits she would need the comfort of her son. Or if it were, say, six months into lockdown. What I cannot relate to though, is how a few weeks of inconvenience (in her particular case) and not being able to go to the theater or travel (which they do often, they were in the Caribbean in late Feb), has led to this feeling of (paraphrasing) 'my life is only worth living if I can hug my adult son.' I'd be much more understanding if grandchildren were involved. I've certainly been depressed too, as most of you know. But I would never ask my child/niece/nephew etc to put himself and possibly me in jeopardy after a few weeks of missing him and being upset about what's going on.

Things are so different depending where one lives in this country. My niece went home to NorCal for 2 months at her parents' insistence after her college in CO closed. She completed her classes online. I was stunned to learn she is now back in CO where her parents rented her an apt because many of her friends are spending the summer there too. They're planning to go to a lot of state/national parks and she is working at a local barn caring for horses (which she was doing while at home also). Makes me really wonder how it's possible that a few short weeks ago her mother wanted her home but has now decided she can go back to CO ( near Denver). I get that she's young and needs to live her life and enjoy her summer and I'm happy for her that she is getting some normalcy and sort of has her independent life back, but I'm perplexed. In my mind nothing has really changed as far as the seriousness of the pandemic, since the beginning - and won't change until there is a cure/vaccine. Yes things are opening up but it's all so premature. I guess it's cause I live in an area where 1 in 42 people on average have the virus, and one in about 432 have died.

ETA I thought reopenings were going to be based on having expanded testing and contact tracing in place, instead of 'stay at home worked, cases are reduced, so let's all go back out!' If something works, logic would dictate you keep doing what works!

Edited May 20, 2020 by Teafortwo

sharkerbaby · May 20, 2020

3 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

THIS described me exactly - although regarding a much different topic. I posted here for YEARS before I admitted I was an ex-first wife, because of the "temperature" of the board and the open disdain and dislike for "sheep" sister wives. I thought I would be hated and that people would be mean to me. Everyone has been pretty darn decent, despite how they feel about the subject - and many of them have VERY strong feelings about polygamy and the people involved. There are a few people who I feel dislike me, possibly for reasons that don't have anything to do with polygamy - life is just like that.

Having said that - I think the majority of us are very respectful for those who have different viewpoints. You won't be called any names here, and no one will shoot arrows at you. We DO see your side of the coin. It's just that many of us are elderly.... or some are older middle-aged and must still work and the virus poses a greater threat. We just express our fears about catching this and dying from it - even if this virus doesn't turn out to be the great threat they are thinking it is at this time - it is still a most horrible way to die. I love to breathe, I can't imagine having my lungs full of fluid. Maybe no different from pneumonia - but no thank you.

So we all post here about our fears and our worries and our day to day stresses... and many of those have to do with Economics, as well. So please feel free to talk about YOUR viewpoints and worries and stresses and fears and know that we will listen and understand YOUR side as well - because your side is just as valid!

Thank you! I think I might cry.

I hope you don't think I am one of those who dislike you. I find you and your story very fascinating and once again find myself on the opposite side of a good deal of posters here as I believe under the right circumstances and with the right people polygamy is doable. So for that reason alone I highly value your insights. I have actually considered a polygamous relationship but personalities just didn't mesh in the end. If I were to compare myself to one of the Brown's as far as approach and attitude towards this lifestyle I'd probably be the Janelle of the family as I don't necessarily need or even want the man all to myself (I find them to be too much work and far too needy) but I definitely am attracted to the security and comfort of having a close knit small group that is inexorability tied together with a vested interest in all succeeding and thriving.

Also, I do know what it's like to not be able to breath, one of those tick marks I mentioned above... I have severe asthma and you're right it is quite painful and during a severe attack I am far too focused on getting air to think about anything else so I do not remember ever experiencing fear despite the fact that on at least two occasions doctors have stated I was very near death.

But thanks again for your words, they mean a lot!!

Teafortwo · May 20, 2020

@sharkerbaby I appreciate differing points of view. One of the great things about this board and this thread is that the vast majority of posters are able to maintain a civil conversation even when disagreeing. I will say I understand the economic devastation. What irks me though is that some people who are the most vocal protestors of things like hair salons and stores being shut down, are would-be patrons, not workers in those places, so it's as if they're saying "others should risk their lives to provide me (the consumer) with a service." Same thing when meat plant workers are forced to go back to work too soon. We could all switch to other protein sources for a few weeks if meat supplies got short.

Adiba · May 20, 2020

@sharkerbaby, I have many of the same feelings about the pandemic as you do. I am taking it seriously and have vulnerable family members who live in the worst hit parts of NJ. My cousin and his wife had it and thankfully recovered from it— high fever, horrible cough and fatigue for a couple of weeks, but not hospitalized.

I do worry about small business owners and workers who may no longer have jobs to go back to.

Yeah No · May 20, 2020

1 hour ago, sharkerbaby said:

I hope you didn't take my response as an implying that I thought you were being "selfish, uncaring, ignorant, and only concerned about themselves". Quite the opposite, I had myself in mind as the one who would be labeled as such because unlike almost everyone here, I fall on the side of the spectrum that believes the measures taken were and are too extreme and should have been far more measured and targeted.

Oh dear, I certainly didn't mean to put you of all people on the defensive about this topic. I deliberately put in the phrase, "I know you know this" when I replied hoping I was clear that I was talking about the people you said might call us selfish for complaining about store closings.

See below for clarification:

10 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I would remind those people that I think about all women when I think about these issues. Like where are any of us going to shop now if we need a dressy dress or a coat or something nice to wear somewhere? I know you know this, but it's never just about me when I think about those things. This kind of criticism is just a way for some people to invalidate the concerns of women, IMHO

I never took what you said personally, like you were one of those people that would call me selfish for my opinion. I knew better!

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