A Case Of The Mondays: Vent Your Work Spleen Here

[Cloud9Shopper]

While I appreciate the advice, when I return to job hunting, I will not be accepting or considering any call center positions as a “foot in the door.” I am already in one, have the skills to do more, and will refuse any such offers if rejected like I was yesterday. 

[Laura Holt]

18 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

Not necessarily.  I've held interviews where it has come down to two candidates, and I had to be really nit-picky -- not quite to the point of flipping a coin, but close.

I've had similar experiences.  Especially when hiring for summer students and entry level positions.  Sure once in awhile someone would really stand out but mostly there were a few who could be eliminated for one reason or another and then the rest who all pretty much were offering the same qualifications and qualities (hopefully) that we were seeking.  No denying I'd rather be the one hiring than being hired but choosing someone can be more of a challenge than candidates may realize.

[Annber03]

Yeah, as frustrating as it can be for all of us who are doing the job hunting, I can only imagine how difficult it can often be for those of you who work jobs where you have to do the hiring. I don't think I could handle a job like that, I'd have such a hard time making a decision and I'd always feel bad for the person I rejected (unless they were rejected because they were, y'know, just obviously lousy/unprofessional people :p). 

I do agree that sometimes regrouping can be a good way to figure out where to go next. And I do very much sympathize with wanting to get out of customer service - if I could find a job away from that, I'd happily take it, too. I just wonder how many jobs are available that aren't some form of that. I know they're out there, but yeah, they can be tough sometimes to find or apply to. 

[Cloud9Shopper]

33 minutes ago, Annber03 said:

I do agree that sometimes regrouping can be a good way to figure out where to go next. And I do very much sympathize with wanting to get out of customer service - if I could find a job away from that, I'd happily take it, too. I just wonder how many jobs are available that aren't some form of that. I know they're out there, but yeah, they can be tough sometimes to find or apply to. 

Yeah. When I say I will not be looking at customer service roles/am not interested, I don’t mean “I don’t want to talk to people ever.” That’s not realistic. I mean I don’t want to be on a phone having all my calls scored and having limited flexibility in scheduling, and know that on any given day I could be name called or screamed at on the phone by an angry member of the public. I don’t want to be tied for a headset to a living and crying frequently at work. I would much rather deal with “customers” internally like I did two jobs ago, or even the way I did in my last job when I did recruiting coordination, following up with candidates and working with recruiters we had relationships with.

Given that I have other experience and skills, I am not going to waste them by call center hopping. 

 

Edited October 20, 2023 by Cloud9Shopper

[Bookish Jen]

Cloud9Shopper-If you want to take time to regroup, refresh, and take time away from job hunting that's perfectly fine. Concentrate on yourself, pamper yourself in any way possible. 

I totally understand not wanting to work in a call center. I've done that myself, and it sucks. In fact, a coworker and I were talking about how cool it is to work at a place where were not always on the phone. It's a blessing.

[BlueSkies]

On 10/19/2023 at 5:24 PM, Cloud9Shopper said:

I am done job hunting for the year. Just got through a four-round interview process only to be rejected in the final two because the employer went with an internal candidate. And then to make it even worse they asked me if I’d be interested in a call center role that would be opening up. Yeah, sure, let me jump right into the very thing I need to get away from. That will make everything better. /s I did ask for feedback but there really was none or no mention of anything I did wrong. So I don’t even know what to improve on. 

I don’t know what to do except take some time to re-evaluate. I obviously have some fatal flaw that is keeping employers from hiring me or offering me decent positions. And I really really am not in the mood to hear “Don’t worry; you’ll get something soon!” Well obviously it’s not happening. I’ve now been rejected in the final stages three times so employers just do not seem to like me even though they are saying they do. And it seems like everyone who tells me not to worry about it has “found something” that pays them well and they enjoy or gives them growth potential. I am so tired of being the loser at family gatherings who only works in a call center while my family members have careers. I have been avoiding alumni gatherings for the leadership program I graduated from like the plague because I am a customer service rep while my classmates have good careers and did not experience layoffs. Why would I want to be around them? 

No one else seems to have this much trouble finding a job. Every friend or relative of mine, in real life or online, who has hit the job market recently has secured an offer or received a promotion. I see so many success stories in this thread and yet, I can’t get the same thing to happen for me. I come so close and yet someone else is always hired. I can’t take the rejection anymore or stay positive right now. I just wish I could understand why I am struggling with this so badly when it seems like the rest of the job hunting world can easily get offers and figure this whole thing out. 

You've detailed a while on this site it sounds like you have a hard time at your job and well you to put it frankly think it sucks balls dealing with other humans all day.  While I totally sympathize the flip side to that is it actually sounds like you are good at this job.  

 

Not that this will help you but in the past 10 years I've gotten sort of close with 2 other jobs and interviews.  

 

1st job- I actually went on 3 three interviews for the position before they decided not to pick me.  The 1st time I went there I actually meet a manager there in a Starbucks as he agreed to meet me on the weekend.  While I liked the company overall the thing that rubbed me the wrong way was they were interviewing for a position "where they weren't pleased with the person and were not letting him know were firing him yet".  On reflection that seems kind of like a bitch thing to do.  I'm glad it didnt work out.

 

2nd job- I meet regional managers and it went well.  I got invited for a 2nd interview and this place was not accommodating to my schedule in the slightest.  Like they called me on a Wednesday and wanted to interview me on a Thursday.  Even telling them I had off on Friday was a no go.  So I politely figured fuck it.  While part of me felt bad about that 2 people I knew over the years went to work for this company and they said it was even worse than the job I had now.

 

 

So sometimes things happen for a reason I guess.  Even if it sounds screwed up 

Edited October 21, 2023 by BlueSkies

[isalicat]

I'd like to make a general comment, not directed at anyone posting here specifically, but just inspired by 40 years of being in the recruitment field (thus vetting resumes and interviewing people non-stop for what felt like a lifetime, because it was!). There are some things that factor in on decision making on the part of the hiring person or persons that aren't readily quantifiable or necessarily obvious to the applicant. One of them is a general sense of well-being and self possession, which is not something that comes from the job (unless your job is your vocation, which is unfortunately rare in life). People who are "comfortable in their own skin" and are not desperately looking for affirmation from others, or expressing entitlement or unhappiness either verbally or with their body language, are going to be perceived as much less "high maintenance" by a prospective employer. An example: If I interviewed someone who brought up company PTO policy right away, I took that as a real red flag that this person valued their time away from the job more than they were interested in doing the job (and that may have been unjust, because everyone deserves a life away from work, but there it is). As a hiring manager, you don't want to bring someone in these days unless you are *absolutely sure* they will be a "happy camper" because employment laws make it so difficult to get rid of permanent hires (thus the ever growing penchant for filling jobs with temps or contractors). This is also why internal candidates have such an advantage, because they are already vetted for their personality issues, unlike someone coming in from the outside. People who already have purpose and meaning in their lives are more confident and successfully communicative during a job interview process; you can just tell: by posture, by eye contact, by facial expression, by composure when you ask something they had not anticipated. Just some thoughts...

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 10/19/2023 at 4:24 PM, Cloud9Shopper said:

No one else seems to have this much trouble finding a job. Every friend or relative of mine, in real life or online, who has hit the job market recently has secured an offer or received a promotion.

When it comes to people you don't actually know in person, you're seeing only what they're presenting online, and most people carefully curate their online presence. 

Actually, all people curate their online presence, with varying degrees of intensity and honesty.  It's just asking for trouble to compare the 100% of your life you know about to someone else's 2% or whatever they choose to show to the online community.

Even people you know in person--who knows what travails they're not disclosing about their job search?  Listen, if everybody's life were as fantastic as their social media posts lead us to believe, the world wouldn't be such a shitty place.

You said that every friend or relative of yours, in real life or online, who has hit the job market recently has secured an offer or received a promotion.  However, there are a lot of people out there who are complaining they can't find a job.  What are the odds that you really don't "know" (in real life or online) anybody else who's had difficulty finding a job?  I ask because you also said:

Quote

I see so many success stories in this thread and yet, I can’t get the same thing to happen for me.

I've seen success stories in this thread, but not "so many" of them.  Just a few.  And I always wonder how many people reading this thread are struggling with finding a job they want but don't post about it.  So you and I are looking at the same thing and seeing different things.

A while back you posted this:

Quote

I was thinking about this today, and maybe social media and talking to Internet strangers (where everyone is a high earner or a director of this or a VP of that department or a manager of this other thing) is skewing my perspective a little bit, but I feel like a failure in that I’ve never really had a straight career path.

It sounds like your perspective might indeed be skewed, and maybe not just a little bit.

On 10/20/2023 at 6:30 AM, Cloud9Shopper said:

the best thing to do right now is get away from job searching entirely and all the influencers looking to blame me for when I don’t get an offer.

I'll admit that I'm not on any sort of social media, so I know very little about influencers, never mind influencers who want to blame people for not getting a job they want.  (What the hell??)  But I think you're on to something.

Surely there's nothing to be gained from choosing to pay attention to an influencer who obviously doesn't know you and therefore can't possibly understand you, and probably actually holds you in contempt.  So I would urge you to consider discontinuing exposing yourself to them. 

I know more than anyone that being a conscientious objector to social media is not an easy road, but sometimes we have to make unpleasant choices.  And in your case especially, it sounds like you're not benefiting from comparing yourself to people's social media personas. 

Actually, the consensus seems to be that nobody benefits from it.  But for you, it's more than just the free-floating "everybody's life is better than mine" anxiety that social media causes.  For you, it's harder because people can see someone's instagram pictures from their trip to Romania and tell themselves, "Well, I don't really want to go to Romania."  But you want a different job so every time somebody posts about their new job or promotion, you can't tell yourself, "Well, I don't really want a job." 

Maybe you could tell yourself, "Well, I don't want that job," but are people going to post about shitty jobs they get?  Nope.  They're going to post about jobs that they (perhaps unconsciously) think people will be jealous of.

I don't know...maybe this is an opportunity to evaluate your relationship with social media, since it looks like it might be where a lot of your negative comparisons are coming from.  No matter how well you "know" them, they're strangers.

And in your "real" life--if you have friends or relatives you actually know who are not supportive, can you deprive them of the opportunity to not be supportive by not engaging with them on certain topics?  It takes two people to have a conversation, after all.  "How's the job hunt going?"  "I'm plugging along."  "What exactly are you doing?"  "Plugging along."  "I mean, are you sending resumes? Calling? Showing up on doorsteps?" "Just plugging along."

Even if you're actually taking a break from job hunting.  Nobody has a right to know what your job hunt currently involves.  You have the power to choose who knows, and what they know, and I urge you to choose carefully, for your own sake.

[Cloud9Shopper]

15 hours ago, isalicat said:

I'd like to make a general comment, not directed at anyone posting here specifically, but just inspired by 40 years of being in the recruitment field (thus vetting resumes and interviewing people non-stop for what felt like a lifetime, because it was!). There are some things that factor in on decision making on the part of the hiring person or persons that aren't readily quantifiable or necessarily obvious to the applicant. One of them is a general sense of well-being and self possession, which is not something that comes from the job (unless your job is your vocation, which is unfortunately rare in life). People who are "comfortable in their own skin" and are not desperately looking for affirmation from others, or expressing entitlement or unhappiness either verbally or with their body language, are going to be perceived as much less "high maintenance" by a prospective employer. An example: If I interviewed someone who brought up company PTO policy right away, I took that as a real red flag that this person valued their time away from the job more than they were interested in doing the job (and that may have been unjust, because everyone deserves a life away from work, but there it is). As a hiring manager, you don't want to bring someone in these days unless you are *absolutely sure* they will be a "happy camper" because employment laws make it so difficult to get rid of permanent hires (thus the ever growing penchant for filling jobs with temps or contractors). This is also why internal candidates have such an advantage, because they are already vetted for their personality issues, unlike someone coming in from the outside. People who already have purpose and meaning in their lives are more confident and successfully communicative during a job interview process; you can just tell: by posture, by eye contact, by facial expression, by composure when you ask something they had not anticipated. Just some thoughts...

Not that I am blaming you for this, but this is part why job hunting is so stressful anymore. You basically have to be flawless in an employer’s eyes to even get a job. It starts with having to have the perfect resume and a perfectly crafted LinkedIn presence. Then you have to interview basically perfectly. If you make one mistake answering a question or even get a little caught off guard, you’re written off altogether. Your Zoom background has to be perfect. You have to look perfect. (Trust me I spend enough on hair, nails and makeup to make sure I look visually pleasing for my interviews.) You have to fit in perfectly with everyone on the team and if one person doesn’t like you, you’re done. If the employer does assessments or personality tests you can’t answer one thing wrong. And on and on. 

It’s very tiring to be held to such high standards all the time and you can never be anything less than 100% perfect or make a mistake, ever. And if I am really honestly a terrible interviewer and come off as if I’m desperate for affirmation and have terrible body language, then employers shouldn’t be passing me through all these rounds and giving me false hope then. If I am doing that badly and I act like an idiot in interviews in their eyes, then just cut me in round one or two instead of getting me to rounds 3 and 4. 

[theredhead77]

On 10/19/2023 at 2:24 PM, Cloud9Shopper said:

No one else seems to have this much trouble finding a job. Every friend or relative of mine, in real life or online, who has hit the job market recently has secured an offer or received a promotion. I see so many success stories in this thread and yet, I can’t get the same thing to happen for me.

It took me 3 years and 200+ applications. My current job was the third or fourth I applied to at this company. Like most things, people share about the good and keep the bad and frustration to themselves to cultivate that positive personality. I know I wasn't very public about how hard it was, just a post here and there. My closet friends knew, of course.

 

5 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

Then you have to interview basically perfectly.

No, you don't. I was convinced I blew my first interview for my current job, with the big-big boss. I got so nervous I forgot how to answer questions about my history. It was bad. I found out later he appreciated that I acknowledged that I was nervous and powered through.

Gentle feedback: people here have given you solid advice about all of the things you're lamenting about. I think taking the break you referenced, deleting your LI, doing some self-reflection, identifying where you truly want to be (as you've mentioned before), and then jumping back in when you are in a better head-space is the best course of action. Culture fit is huge, one team-member that doesn't mesh can bring down the entire team.

  

5 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

If I am doing that badly and I act like an idiot in interviews in their eyes, then just cut me in round one or two instead of getting me to rounds 3 and 4. 

Getting to rounds 3 and 4 is HUGE. You are doing something right. But they can only select one. It sucks you aren't it but that doesn't mean you are flawed. There was just someone else that was a better fit. It could be background, or culture, or a special skill they have, or who knows. It sucks but if they didn't like you you wouldn't have made it that far.

You don't have to be perfect, but you do have to be the best you that you can be. I wish you luck when you return to the search after the first of the year (what you've shared). 

Edited October 22, 2023 by theredhead77

[partofme]

3 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

deleting your LI

I would recommend logging out of LinkedIn but not deleting your account unless you never plan to use it to look for a job.  I deleted my account once because I was fed up with the whole thing and when I eventually rejoined I had lost all of my connections.  

[theredhead77]

3 hours ago, partofme said:

I would recommend logging out of LinkedIn but not deleting your account unless you never plan to use it to look for a job.  I deleted my account once because I was fed up with the whole thing and when I eventually rejoined I had lost all of my connections.  

To clarify: C9 said she was deleting her LI. I wasn't suggesting she delete it. 

Edited October 23, 2023 by theredhead77

[ginger90]

In a different thread, there was mention of sexual harassment in the workplace. One of my daughters work in HR. She was doing an investigation on a man, unrelated to sexual harassment. During the investigation, a woman reported being sexually harassed by this man who had been with the company for at least 15 years . One by one women made her aware of the sexual harassment. He has since been fired. It had been going on for at least 10 years. My daughter recently started working there. After he was fired, more women came to her. 
That’s all, just throwing it out there.

Edited October 30, 2023 by ginger90

[BlueSkies]

As of late co workers have been bothering me.  Like it seems they just take things at work way too personally if that makes sense.  For example somebody got pissed off someone doesn’t say hello or goodbye before they leave.

 

Yeah I agree it’s a bit rude but people get way too bent out of shape about stuff like that where I work.  And really workers being here is just a business transaction for the company for our services.  Me or anyone else could be replaced in a New York minute 

[theredhead77]

I've been at my new job 7.5 months and qualified for a review as part of the formal review cycle. I got the highest marks and they are really happy with my progress as a new hire. My bosses boss told her he was impressed with how quickly I caught on and how I stepped up while my co-worker is out. Big boss doesn't give praise like that lightly or often so it meant a lot to hear.

They're doing salary and title reviews, my boss shared a growth plan for us to move up in levels and qualify for a "promotion salary adjustment" instead of the nominal annual [not really] cost of living increase.

Yay!

[BlueSkies]

One co worker called me today and asked if I got this notification in my box.  My answer was no.  She kept pleading and harping on me Did You Get It, Did You get It?

 

I with every fiber of my being didn't know what to tell her at that point.  Yes I got it but I ate it and crapped it out!  I mean what do you want me to say.  

 

This is an example of why I find dealing/talking to other people like extremely draining.  

[Cloud9Shopper]

I’m feeling more ready to look for jobs again and even put some applications out last week. I don’t expect any interviews or anything since it’s almost the end of the year and the market is still competitive, but it was nice to get my confidence back and do those applications regardless. During my few weeks off I thought about what kind of industries interest me and what jobs I should go for, and I set some criteria for my new search.

I also reminded myself that while I’m not thrilled with my current job, it’s truly not worth it to leave until I get a better deal (I would prefer better pay and hours since I work some evenings and weekends but I would be happy with better hours at equal pay as well), and I can also keep checking their internal job board occasionally to see if anything catches my attention. Two people just got promoted out of my current department so at least I know it’s possible here. 

Going to be taking a “less is more” approach too as to what I share and who I share it with. Some people need to go on the “when I know you’ll know” information diet so that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Better boundaries this time for sure. 

[Cloud9Shopper]

Good news: Two employers contacted me this week so I feel confident that I have a good resume.

Bad news: They were both duds. :( 

Job #1 was paying $7 less an hour than what I make now and wasn’t going to be able to match my current salary but they were in one of my fields of interest (legal). 

Job #2 was in one of my other areas of interest (healthcare, as I have been researching health information management and healthcare administration as potential careers). It was a patient scheduling job, which is a good starting point if you’re interested in health information. However, I got an off vibe from the employer. The HR lady who called was on speakerphone and I could barely hear her. If it was just that, it would be annoying but I’d otherwise ignore it if nothing else was odd.

That said, she wanted to do a screening interview on the spot. I was on my lunch break when I called her back, so I just did it but then she was asking me if I wanted to set up the second round that afternoon. I had to go back to work and wasn’t willing to interview on zero prep so we set up a time for Monday. The training period would start the week before Christmas. I feel like this would be a job I would take if I were unemployed or on the brink of being fired at Current Job and needed a fast out. But neither are the case. Current Boss loves me and says I meet standards and they continue to be happy with my performance and how quick I have learned things. I feel kind of rushed through the process like they are looking for any warm body. 

Am I being unreasonable? A friend of mine says Job 2 could be better than my current job, and she isn’t wrong, but I also feel like there are better healthcare organizations and hospitals, or just better employers in general, and I don’t want to end up working at a place that already doesn’t make me feel right. I feel like there’s a fine line between a rushed interview process and these 5-6 rounds things a lot of employers are doing. (The one job offer I turned down earlier this year offered me the job after one 20-minute interview which also didn’t make me comfortable.)

[BlueSkies]

I had a work related nightmare:

 

My Dad and I are eating at a diner and I happen to see someone from work there.  For some reason she keeps asking me to sing to her.  I keep politely saying no until my Dad tells her to Shut Up.  To which she sees me at work the next day and remarks how my Dad is the rudest man she's ever met in her life.

 

I mean it was only a nightmare but damn.  This isn't a good sign!  

[Cloud9Shopper]

So, a quick update on what I’m thinking. I was going to do the second interview tomorrow with the job I was unsure about, but now I’m sitting here trying to prep for it and I just can’t get excited or engaged at all. A few hours ago I thought I should do the interview because people around me said that getting a poor impression from the internal recruiter/HR rep doesn’t mean the job or the organization as a whole is bad, this could still be better than my current job, and I should take the risk anyway. So I convinced myself but now that I am trying to prepare, I still can’t shake the poor first impression I got from the employer and don’t feel that engaged with the opportunity. Not to mention, barring a truly desperate situation (which I’m not in) or a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity (I’m sure this won’t be the last time a patient scheduling job in healthcare is available), I don’t really want to be starting a job the week before Christmas.

Call me unreasonable if you must but my current company closes the week between Christmas and New Year’s and pays us for it too. I really want that break. Maybe I jumped back into applying too soon or something but I just don’t think training for a new job over the holidays when I’m not desperate for a job change is the best plan at the moment.

[stewedsquash]

Could you interview and see how it goes as far as:

your initial impression may change for the better or confirm your initial instincts which could give you a mental feel good boost either way about putting yourself out there  or that your instincts are good

perhaps they are holding back some information about the job until more is known from you

you might get an offer that you can mull over and negotiate into a better offer

you can ask to start January 2

you seem more chill now after starting your break so you could view this as a toss off even if you don’t get a reasonable offer

 

 

[Cloud9Shopper]

33 minutes ago, stewedsquash said:

Could you interview and see how it goes as far as:

your initial impression may change for the better or confirm your initial instincts which could give you a mental feel good boost either way about putting yourself out there  or that your instincts are good

perhaps they are holding back some information about the job until more is known from you

you might get an offer that you can mull over and negotiate into a better offer

you can ask to start January 2

you seem more chill now after starting your break so you could view this as a toss off even if you don’t get a reasonable offer

 

 

Unfortunately I can’t ask to start January 2. They hire people for training classes and training starts 12/18. Everything else is a good point. 

[theredhead77]

Trust your gut. If you're not feeling it now, you won't be feeling it later. Turn down the second interview and move on.

When I've been in that situation and interviewed, I didn't bring my A-game, didn't get selected to move forward and was upset I was rejected again even though I didn't want the position.

Edited November 20, 2023 by theredhead77

[Cloud9Shopper]

3 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

Trust your gut. If you're not feeling it now, you won't be feeling it later. Turn down the second interview and move on.

When I've been in that situation and interviewed, I didn't bring my A-game, didn't get selected to move forward and was upset I was rejected again even though I didn't want the position.

I appreciate this thought too. I think part of it is that I feel like I have to take an interview if offered, even full knowing the employer can’t force me to work there. Or sometimes I think “what if I turn this interview down and nothing comes along for a long time?” I mean, I also know it’s not true that I’ll never get a job interview again, but in this market it can feel that way. 

[PRgal]

8 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

Trust your gut. If you're not feeling it now, you won't be feeling it later. Turn down the second interview and move on.

When I've been in that situation and interviewed, I didn't bring my A-game, didn't get selected to move forward and was upset I was rejected again even though I didn't want the position.

I agree.  I’ve ranted about it here before - many years ago, I took a job (okay, it was an internship that paid very little.  More like a stipend than a salary) because it was a family referral.  Horrible experience and had job issues yes (shuffling from one short term position to another and then a job where the manager hated everyone and basically fired the whole team) before finding something I loved.  And then leaving to blog for a few years before going into philanthropy 

[Cloud9Shopper]

I decided not to go to the interview and withdrew my application this morning. It came down to remembering what I said about my boundaries, that while I could seek advice and bounce ideas off people, it’s not worth going on an interview for a job I’m not excited about just because someone on Reddit said I should go. And I know there will be plenty of companies who won’t try to push me into a same day job interview as soon as they call, or where the start date will be better for my circumstances. 

Regarding the poor first impression from HR/the recruiter, yes it’s possible that she doesn’t represent the organization and it’s actually a good place to work and the hiring manager is nothing like the HR rep. Or that the company wanted to interview me so fast because they respect me and my time. But why take the risk if I don’t feel good about it now? If a candidate gave a poor first impression they likely would not be hired, so I don’t feel any obligation to interview for an employer who did not put their best foot forward in the phone screen. 
 

ETA: When I told the recruiter I was withdrawing because the start date didn’t work with my schedule, she responded and said “we also have a training class starting on (date) so you can keep your interview or you can reschedule.” Glad my suspicions were confirmed about them. I don’t want to work at a place that seems happy to take any warm body and has “training classes” so often. Says more about them than it does about me not wanting to interview there.

(I work in a call center now but we don’t hire by the dozen and run training classes. Training is just whenever we need to hire someone new and that person starts. I only trained with one other new employee.)

Edited November 20, 2023 by Cloud9Shopper

[Sweedish Fish]

I have an appt next month with Social Security to schedule early retirement.   I really don't know what that is going to mean, or do.   But honest to God, Can't work anymore.  I can't even fathom it.   No way.   I've been working as a mechanical draftsperson  since I was 17 years old.    Now with my loss of husband.   Well fuck it.  Does anyone know or have advice?    I am 3 years shy of ret. age

 

sorry for cursing, but seems all I can do these days.

Edited November 24, 2023 by Sweedish Fish

[ginger90]

1 hour ago, Sweedish Fish said:

I have an appt next month with Social Security to schedule early retirement.   I really don't know what that is going to mean, or do.   But honest to God, Can't work anymore.  I can't even fathom it.   No way.   I've been working as a mechanical draftsperson  since I was 17 years old.    Now with my loss of husband.   Well fuck it.  Does anyone know or have advice?    I am 3 years shy of ret. age

 

sorry for cursing, but seems all I can do these days.

My condolences.

Are you applying under survivor benefits? If so this article gives the list of what you should bring to your appointment.

 

https://www.ssa.gov/benefits/survivors/#anchor1

[Sweedish Fish]

Thank you.   I will look.

 

  But that lovely man refused to marry again, as his wife had died long before I met him.  As much as we loved each other.  Would not do it.

   it's maddening  all the phone calls I must make.   But will.  Again, thank you.

Edited November 24, 2023 by Sweedish Fish

[BlueSkies]

I guess some work environments it's common to share a lot of personal information about oneself?

 

I went in another office today and two managers were BSing.  Showing phots on their phones, talking about their families, kids, etc...  I mean this is just me but that makes me very uncomfortable for whatever reason.  I understand to a degree one can't be totally anti-social at work.  But there's many things I feel people just dont need to know about.  

[theredhead77]

3 hours ago, BlueSkies said:

I guess some work environments it's common to share a lot of personal information about oneself?

I went in another office today and two managers were BSing.  Showing phots on their phones, talking about their families, kids, etc...  I mean this is just me but that makes me very uncomfortable for whatever reason.  I understand to a degree one can't be totally anti-social at work.  But there's many things I feel people just dont need to know about.  

Everyone has different boundaries about what they are comfortable sharing at work. If you don't want to share, and be 'business only, please', don't share. But there is nothing wrong with two co-workers having what sounds like a casual, friendly conversation sharing things about their personal lives.

That being said, networking and having friendly relationships with co-workers is vital to career growth.  People viewed as "Mr. or Ms. Business, only Business" may hinder career growth. Of course, if they're happy where they are don't have aspirations to grow and lead, this is all moot.

Edited November 28, 2023 by theredhead77

[Cloud9Shopper]

Pet peeve: People on Reddit offering to review my resume and/or telling me to use the resumes subreddit.

Sorry, but I’m not that into the idea of handing my resume off to someone on the Internet who’s never met me or worked with me. Yes all my information would be redacted, but that’s not even my beef. I just prefer to give my resume to someone I’ve met in real life, like I had it reviewed by one of my references who has several years of experience in recruiting and just started her own agency. My career counselor also reviewed it. Both said it looked good and recommended a couple of minor edits. Why should I trust someone on Reddit over them? 

Also, I went through my job search trackers and I do average about an 11% response rate to my resumes.

I guess part of it begs the question too. How many people do I need to look at my resume? If two isn’t enough, does it need to be two more? Five more? More than that? I do plan on revamping it again this month but am not sure how many more times I can redo it or how many more people need to review it before it’s acceptable enough to get an offer. 

[supposebly]

There's the saying too many cooks spoil the soup. 

I'd say it's better when someone looks at things who knows you and has some context. I don't see the point of having some stranger on the Internet go over it.

[ginger90]

@Cloud9Shopper Perhaps step away from Reddit? Personally I found it to be a cesspool, but I didn’t follow anything related to job searching. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[emma675]

@Cloud9Shopper I thought you got off of reddit?

[BlueSkies]

On 11/27/2023 at 10:15 PM, theredhead77 said:

Everyone has different boundaries about what they are comfortable sharing at work. If you don't want to share, and be 'business only, please', don't share. But there is nothing wrong with two co-workers having what sounds like a casual, friendly conversation sharing things about their personal lives.

That being said, networking and having friendly relationships with co-workers is vital to career growth.  People viewed as "Mr. or Ms. Business, only Business" may hinder career growth. Of course, if they're happy where they are don't have aspirations to grow and lead, this is all moot.

I hear what you're saying.

 

Where I work though a lot of people have come and gone throughout the years.  People at times I thought have been too attached to other co-workers.  Then if one person's job is axed or someone decides to move on from the company both or multiple people wind up leaving.  I mean I guess there is nothing really wrong with that in a way that's just isn't how I roll.

 

I'm not much of a natural sharer of personal information with my manager and sometimes the higher ups in the company.  But I realize too I can't just sort of say nothing.  So I talk about myself enough to you know be polite but not get attached kind of thing.  

[theredhead77]

2 hours ago, BlueSkies said:

I hear what you're saying.

 

Where I work though a lot of people have come and gone throughout the years.  People at times I thought have been too attached to other co-workers.  Then if one person's job is axed or someone decides to move on from the company both or multiple people wind up leaving.  I mean I guess there is nothing really wrong with that in a way that's just isn't how I roll.

I'm not much of a natural sharer of personal information with my manager and sometimes the higher ups in the company.  But I realize too I can't just sort of say nothing.  So I talk about myself enough to you know be polite but not get attached kind of thing.  

Everything you just shared is normal in every company. It's not limited to yours.

[theredhead77]

I found out my bonus and merit increase yesterday. The bonus was pro-rated (as expected) and is what I was expecting, but our merit increases are downright insulting at less than 3% for a 'successful year', the highest rating you can get. I haven't had a merit increase this low since I got a shitty review at a shitty company over a decade ago. I thought it was pro-rated but it wasn't. This is the standard rate. 
 

Yea, it's something, but it barely covers the increased insurance rates. 

[Browncoat]

I work for the state.  We are getting a whopping 2% pay increase this year.  And this is a good year.

[RealHousewife]

How many of you (if any) quit a job without having another one lined up?

I know it can be considered a massive no-no, but I've become miserable at my job.

[theredhead77]

2 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

How many of you (if any) quit a job without having another one lined up?

I know it can be considered a massive no-no, but I've become miserable at my job.

I did when I escaped GA and moved to NV. It was not impulsive and I had significant savings plus the proceeds of selling my house. You don't get unemployment nor will you qualify for any sort of social programs (SNAP, ETC...) when you quit and you'll be on your own for health insurance. Financial assistance for the ACA exchange is based on prior year income so it is unlikely you'll qualify for anything when you quit despite not having any income. 

Edited December 3, 2023 by theredhead77

[emma675]

9 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

How many of you (if any) quit a job without having another one lined up?

I know it can be considered a massive no-no, but I've become miserable at my job.

I have once when my mental health had just been pushed too far and I realized it was my sanity or my job. It took me about 4 months to find another job, but I had savings and hadn't used any of the 6 weeks of PTO they owed me. They had to fork over a significant chunk of change because they had a policy of paying out unused vacation time, which they changed a few months after I left. It was hard and scary to leave, but I had a plan in case I didn't find another job quickly, which luckily I did. 

What's funny is that I thought I would be elated the last time I walked out of that office, but I was just exhausted and sad. It took a long time to decompress. 

[RealHousewife]

8 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

I did when I escaped GA and moved to NV. It was not impulsive and I had significant savings plus the proceeds of selling my house. You don't get unemployment nor will you qualify for any sort of social programs (SNAP, ETC...) when you quit and you'll be on your own for health insurance. Financial assistance for the ACA exchange is based on prior year income so it is unlikely you'll qualify for anything when you quit despite not having any income. 

I see, thanks. I didn't realize I wouldn't qualify for the ACA. That's one of my main concerns-health insurance. I need to find a way to get some type of health insurance quickly. 

I found this. I wonder if I could also get a part-time job asap that provides benefits. I would just be stressed out finding time to apply for jobs if I'm working every day, but it might be worth it. 

https://www.healthcare.gov/have-job-based-coverage/if-you-lose-job-based-coverage/#:~:text=If you leave your job,the rest of the year.

1 hour ago, emma675 said:

I have once when my mental health had just been pushed too far and I realized it was my sanity or my job. It took me about 4 months to find another job, but I had savings and hadn't used any of the 6 weeks of PTO they owed me. They had to fork over a significant chunk of change because they had a policy of paying out unused vacation time, which they changed a few months after I left. It was hard and scary to leave, but I had a plan in case I didn't find another job quickly, which luckily I did. 

What's funny is that I thought I would be elated the last time I walked out of that office, but I was just exhausted and sad. It took a long time to decompress. 

Thank you for you input as well. I have savings and will also be paid for unused vacation time. 

I experienced harassment recently, and while that individual was let go, it's been one thing after another at this job. I'm having a hard time sleeping. It's messing with both my physical and mental health. I can't wait to leave. I don't know how much longer I can take it. 

 

[EtheltoTillie]

You will qualify for COBRA or insurance available under the ACA.  What is at issue with the ACA is how much you will pay.  The ACA is not synonymous with free or low cost insurance. 

There is also a new way to purchase insurance with an affinity group (e.g., people who are self employed and can join a trade association).  This

used to be popular but the ACA removed it.  But now it has been reinstated. 

Any further discussion perhaps should be taken to the health insurance thread.

[theredhead77]

2 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

I see, thanks. I didn't realize I wouldn't qualify for the ACA. That's one of my main concerns-health insurance. I need to find a way to get some type of health insurance quickly. 

I didn't say you wouldn't qualify. I said you probably wouldn't qualify for financial assistance. Their individual plans are expensive.

Quitting a job without having another lined up requires a lot of planning, or a rock-solid financial support system because the safety nets you qualify for if the company decides to terminate employment don't exist. 

Don't count on finding a new job in your field right away, either, or finding a retail job, especially right after the holidays. For all those 'help wanted' signs, companies still aren't hiring.

Edited December 3, 2023 by theredhead77

[Bastet]

18 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

How many of you (if any) quit a job without having another one lined up?

I have, twice.  (And when I was laid off, I didn't even start looking for another job for six months, as that job had broken my soul after massive changes yet I kept trying to make it better for the people left working for me rather than getting the hell out.)  I keep a substantial savings reserve for several reasons, including so I can do that when I feel the need; I'm a huge fan of sabbaticals, even if they have to be self-financed.  A break in between jobs is so restorative, and puts me in a great mental place to start the next job.

But if you don't have that financial security, it requires even more deliberation.

Look into what constitutes "constructive discharge/termination/dismissal" in your state, as there are situations in which you can collect unemployment upon quitting (here, in a nutshell, you have to show things were bad, such that a reasonable person - by the legal standard - wanting to keep working would instead choose to become unemployed given the circumstances).

Quote

It's messing with both my physical and mental health.

Also talk with your doctor about possibly putting you out on medical leave.

Edited December 3, 2023 by Bastet

[isalicat]

Regarding quitting a job: Two issues will come up eventually, I am sorry to say, even if you have a good financial cushion to tide you over and figure out how to get/keep health insurance that works for you.

(1) When you start looking for a new job, you will be at a disadvantage because you quit your previous job. This is, in my experience, often a "red flag" for potential employers because it leads to the assumption of "well, she could walk away from us if she doesn't like it because she did it before...".

(2) One of the rules of interviewing is not to "bad mouth" your current/previous employer and that is going to be hard if you quit since what are you going to say: "It was a great job but I left anyways"? So think about this very carefully: what explanation will you offer as to why you quit that does not reflect negatively on the job/company you left?

[jennifer6973]

21 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

How many of you (if any) quit a job without having another one lined up?

I know it can be considered a massive no-no, but I've become miserable at my job.

I did, because I got tired of people quitting on me.  Plus tired of the district manager, tired of the late trucks.

[BlueSkies]

Found out I got Covid and am out of the office for an undeterminable amount of time.

 

I have no remote work access so I'm not sure how this will play out.  I am definitely more anxious about this than the diagnosis.  I'm pretty healthy otherwise so I'm confident I'll get over it.  Just the isolation is going to suck.  

Edited December 12, 2023 by BlueSkies

[Spartan Girl]

Everyone in my division is required to come in on the second Wednesday of every month; tomorrow is the first one and we are having a couple in person meetings tomorrow. And there’s a holiday potluck. I know I’m going to be one of the few people in a mask and because everyone seems to be getting Covid now, my nerves are shot. I do not want to get it, I’ve dodged it for nearly three years. My paranoid self is remembering how my brother got it around this time last year and expos3d us, but we somehow escaped—I don’t want a repeat of that. I just want to enjoy Christmas. 

Edited December 13, 2023 by Spartan Girl
Fixed details