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A Case Of The Mondays: Vent Your Work Spleen Here


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@AuntieL - you are more charitable than I am.  Granted the data is out there for most people, but I found it stalkerish.  Looking up someone's professional profile is reasonable, but how far back and deep did they have to go spelunking for more personal stuff?

And then saying something like that?  No good way to spin it in my book.

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Oh I don't think there's a good way to spin it. Those are some nasty people.  I was just trying to find a creative way of saying FU that wouldn't get @Petunia13 in trouble.  Cause you know if she said something bad back they'd be running crying to their manager. 

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(edited)

@Petunia13 sounds like harassment to me, passive aggressive harassment, but harassment just the same.  I'd almost say to any HR or management type, if you don't do something I'm thinking about getting some legal advice, scare the shit out of those bullies.  Too bad you didn't say something like yes, my outsides have changed but thankfully, I have retained my class, tact, and intelligence - something a lot of folks are missing currently.  Bullies need to be confronted because they're normally spineless creatures; they'd be like oh no we didn't mean anything by it.  I may have walked out.   Some idiot co-workers were trying to "help" by asking or asking kind of leading questions to a manager (like I was missing something).  I'd been working months with this manager very closely.  He was like hoosier has it under control, why aren't you asking her?  I blew up at them.  Oh, we were just trying to help.  I was like NOW after it's all done you want to give your .02 worth?  They feigned ignorance as to why I was upset.  I had worked long hours on it, and it ended up being flawless.  

Today, I've got some newbie following up on one fucking request, asking to disable an ID.  I did it.  The user cannot possibly use it at all.  Newb - was step 2 done?  Beats me, I think I asked or sent it along, but again, the ID was deleted.  User can't do shit.  I said oh let me follow up.  I sent email along with an update, and Newb says oh I already sent email to this group at dawn this morning (a lot of the team comes in at the crack of dawn - no real reason why - just so they can leave early).   Newb pretty much only handles this type of request, which is easy - add this or delete this - not a lot of thinking nor ability involved.  They've stayed away from really learning about anything else after over a year.  Dip trained this person (and I use trained very, very lightly) on a big event coming up; if wrong clients will be IRATE.  Newb actually said nope, really no training from Dip.  I offered to go through it, but nope Newb was busy.  Ok, well you could give up one of your 30 minute smoke breaks, but no.  Fine, screw it up.  I'm out of it.    Newb is one who also brown noses constantly, acting like everyone is their bestest bud ever.  Gag me.

Now boss is hopping in, without knowing a fucking thing.  Basically saying we have 24 hours to turn this shit around.  I am beyond pissed.  I handle all of the big deal issue tickets, most of the load of shit, and so ready to tell him to shove it up his ass sideways.  The other two on the team don't do shit.

I really need to play the lottery tonight or this weekend.  At this point, a win equaling one year's salary might be enough for me to quit and tell them all to pound sand.

Edited by hoosier80
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41 minutes ago, announcergirl said:

I’ve been lurking here. I could not post because I’m feeling what’s been happening to me so acutely. I know change will come one day. I think I am almost ready to share my workplace story. 

We will be here to support you when you are ready. 

3 hours ago, AuntieL said:

Oh I don't think there's a good way to spin it. Those are some nasty people.  I was just trying to find a creative way of saying FU that wouldn't get @Petunia13 in trouble.  Cause you know if she said something bad back they'd be running crying to their manager. 

Perhaps some sarcasm. How kind of you to be concerned about my looks. 

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18 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

Target the store w/ the red bullseye

They have a dollar section in the front and I usually find cute birthday and thank you notes in it.

I want to thank you so much for your suggestions! I didn't find the kind you did, but I stayed away from the sparkly, glittery ones, and found a nice one that wasn't too "loud," informal, or casual. It wasn't too ostentatious or serious. Nice and simple, I think. Not exactly $3, but closer to $4. 10 notes with envelopes. I heard back from the most senior counsel I met with and one of the associates I met with last. I was at my Paralegal Association's mid-year social last night, and speaking with the president, who's a Paralegal Supervisor, she told me that a firm of the size of this one, doesn't bother to schedule interviews with attorneys if they're not interested. She knows because she's done her share of scheduling. I trust her as I've known her for 10 years. Another paralegal was also optimistic. But I still asked if they had any pull with the "JOB GODS" to please put in a word for me, heh.

Remember that other job I interviewed for in late May/Early June that was in Tysons, VA? Well, when I was speaking with one of our long time sponsors last night, he suggested I apply there! I told him I already had, and was told they'd be in touch, but since I didn't hear from them, I figured they went with someone else. He knows the Paralegal Director, and she informed him they decided to hold off for the summer in hiring the paralegal. Which, okay, fine. One, it's unprofessional (at least to me) to not let the candidate know what the status is. Two, what she told Randy (my sponsor/colleague) is the opposite of what she told me--in my interviews with her and the attorneys, they told me that they needed someone ASAP. If they'd made an offer, I would have accepted, even if according to glassdoor.com, what they pay is on the low end. But I figured with my years of experience, Overtime, I could have negotiated the minimum I would accept. But I just figured that they're not interested. And that's okay because that's the nature of the beast. Even if it went well. You know?

I tried to research on the internet to find out how long I should wait before following up with the firm's (the one I interviewed this week) legal recruiter (the one who's been scheduling the interviews and is my point of contact) to find out the status. And hooboy! This one article I found by Forbes was really depressing. And not for nothing, but it was geared toward corporations/businesses and not law firms. Basically, according to them, I should keep looking because if they really wanted me, they'd have made an offer the same day or next. 

Well, I'm not going to think about it because I'm going out of town this weekend--annual signing at my favorite author's husband's store, getting to see Nora Roberts again, and Linda Howard, who is the big name author this year. It's been 9 years since I've seen Linda.

Update on what the doctor said about the Diabetes to follow on Chit-Chat.

Before I go, if I could again, beg you all, please keep sending the good wishes/good juju/whatever?

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6 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

I tried to research on the internet to find out how long I should wait before following up with the firm's (the one I interviewed this week) legal recruiter (the one who's been scheduling the interviews and is my point of contact) to find out the status. And hooboy! This one article I found by Forbes was really depressing. And not for nothing, but it was geared toward corporations/businesses and not law firms. Basically, according to them, I should keep looking because if they really wanted me, they'd have made an offer the same day or next. 

Whenever I left an interview I always asked what their timeline was and when I could expect to hear from them about "next steps". And if I didn't hear from them in that timeline I waited an additional day before following up. If you didn't end with a timeline and next steps I'd suggest waiting about 5 business days, follow up Tuesday evening or Wednesday morning. But it sounds like you already heard from a few people at that company?

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(edited)
22 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

But it sounds like you already heard from a few people at that company?

Just two attorneys who responded to my thank you email, telling me they enjoyed speaking with me and our conversations. The associate I heard from last night even asked if I made it home okay and didn't get too wet because during the last half hour, it started storming and I didn't have an umbrella. Buy my suit jacket kept me fairly dry and I was able to catch a cab almost immediately.

My instinct is to do the same thing I did last week. After a week had gone by, I emailed the recruiter, asking him for a status update. My experience has been that lawyers themselves have no clue. They give their feedback to HR/Paralegal Director/Hiring Manager, and that person is the one who gives me the timeline.  As I stated up thread, had I gotten the interviews here through an agency, my recruiter would have contacted them after the interview to get the timeline.

Edited by GHScorpiosRule
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8 hours ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

I tried to research on the internet to find out how long I should wait before following up with the firm's (the one I interviewed this week) legal recruiter (the one who's been scheduling the interviews and is my point of contact) to find out the status. And hooboy! This one article I found by Forbes was really depressing. And not for nothing, but it was geared toward corporations/businesses and not law firms. Basically, according to them, I should keep looking because if they really wanted me, they'd have made an offer the same day or next. 

I think that Forbes article is BS. Unless you're talking about a very small firm/company, in which case they might make an offer within 24-48 hours. Many companies now require HR to make the actual offer, so what happens is the hiring manager makes the decision and contacts HR, the HR rep deals with other stuff for several days, and then a week later extends the offer to the applicant. And that's assuming that the hiring manager actually has the authority to make the hiring decision, and it doesn't need to be signed off on by somebody higher up the corporate food chain.  In the past 15 years of my life working for/at big corporations, the only times I've gotten an immediate (24-48 hours) hiring decision were when it was a contract position that did not have to go through making a formal offer, and HR just called the staffing agency and told them I had been selected for the contract position. In fact, the last couple of regular full-time jobs I've had, it's been a thing where HR calls to say, if you want to go forward in the hiring process, you need to agree to a background check, and it was not until the background check was run that I got the formal offer. That doesn't apply to my current position, but in that situation I was moving from one part of the company to another part, and so once the decision had been made, then there was the process of future manager talking to current manager to get feedback on the quality of work, and negotiating my start date. My whole point here is that in many parts of the corporate world, offers are often not made the same day as the interview, or even the next day. 

Good luck with this situation; hope you get a formal offer soon that is right for you. 

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8 hours ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

Basically, according to them, I should keep looking because if they really wanted me, they'd have made an offer the same day or next. 

I have only once made a same-day job offer; it's usually several days to a week, but sometimes longer.  And same thing on the flip side; I've received two really quick offers, but usually it's a longer process than that. 

Good luck!

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55 minutes ago, BookWoman56 said:

I think that Forbes article is BS. Unless you're talking about a very small firm/company, in which case they might make an offer within 24-48 hours. Many companies now require HR to make the actual offer, so what happens is the hiring manager makes the decision and contacts HR, the HR rep deals with other stuff for several days, and then a week later extends the offer to the applicant. And that's assuming that the hiring manager actually has the authority to make the hiring decision, and it doesn't need to be signed off on by somebody higher up the corporate food chain. 

This. DO NOT fret, not getting an offer right then is completely common. Stay the course and follow up if you don't hear from them.

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(edited)

It's my highly biased opinion that Forbes is for privileged white men who get jobs because they know people through their fraternities and/or family and/or existing job connections.

Forbes itself says it's

Quote

#1 in the business category for reach to the C-suite

It also boasts a digital campaign partnership with Porsche. That's great and all, but the proverbial 99%, including this plebeian, cannot afford a Porsche.

Someone here long ago recommended the "Ask a Manager" blog, and I bought the author's How to Get a Job e-book. It's very accessible, realistic and full of rational, sound advice.

Edited by bilgistic
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Quickest offer I had was an interview (with a panel of about 6 to 7 people) on Thursday, and an offer on Monday evening.   Current environment I'm in takes up to months sometimes, so the Forbes article is BS.

I was told to check something today, something simple - this function for a client was to be taken down.  First, oh can you check it around 5 on Friday?  Ok, I'll be working until then, so fine.  Nope, changed to check on Saturday morning.  I checked and it's still online, of course.  Been dicking around with it most of the day.  Beyond pissed.  Now the operations tech group told me nope, it'll be Monday until it can be removed.  I am pondering how to let my boss know of this recent fuckery.  One of my illustrious co-workers didn't get the shit nailed down, thus it becoming a cluster today.  

I'm off to finally go run some errands and buy a lottery ticket. 

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(edited)

I just.got.a.phone.call.

30 minutes ago.

They want to move forward with my candidacy. They will now call my references and conduct the background check. Once those clear, it will be the conflicts check. They’ll be sending me a conditional offer contingent upon the results of the conflicts. So I can relax. For now. I remember all the firms that were adverse in my time at my previous job-and this firm was NOT one that was counsel to any of the other parties.

While I’m happy, I’m not jumping for joy YET.

But I do want to thank ALL of you for your good wishes, support and advice. Just keep them coming during this last stretch!

I did end the call by telling my contact that after speaking with everyone, I’m confident we’ll work very well together and that the firm and I are a perfect fit for each other.

Edited by GHScorpiosRule
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1 minute ago, AgentRXS said:

Congrats @GHScorpiosRule!  Looking forward to your "first day at work" post!

Thanks! But I’m just going to take this one step at a time. The last firm I wanted to work at ended up rescinding their offer because of the conflicts check. Specifically, because they were being overly aggressive and because I couldn’t remember the name of ONE client. And what I did remember was that they weren’t adverse to the firm, but they took back their offer.

I like that this firm is doing the conflicts first and told me that has to clear before any offer is made.

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I honestly didn't expect to hear back from the firm until the end of the week. But at 5:34 pm, I got a call with the verbal conditional offer, which is contingent upon the references (mainly for employment verification),  background check (education, job history, criminal(there may be a hiccup there, which I can explain away--I didn't list one job from 2016 because it was less than 90 days and the work wasn't relevant)), and the conflicts. Which I've learned not to overshare. Hell, my name isn't on a single piece of legal document, so it's really not needed, but whatever. I'm doing the KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid). He congratulated me, which I really wish he hadn't yet. And the salary is the minimum I'd asked for, so I"m happy, because come evaluation time, I get a raise on merits and a bonus. Plus with the overtime I know I'll have to do, it will be good enough. I can start saving money now, instead of living paycheck to paycheck. 

He had to ask if I was interested in this conditional offer, and I'm like DUH! Of course I am. But out loud, I said, yes, I am. And I understand it's contingent (in my head I"m blah, blah, blah).

I'm going to be down on my knees tonight. Thanking and still praying (begging) that this happens.

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Does anyone else work with an overly dramatic coworker? The person who always takes every little snafu as a personal attack? The person who gets defensive if you ask them a question, a question that is based on confusion, not an accusation? Whose tone gets snippish and curt whenever you tell them you'll have to get back to them with an answer? Who, in a group meeting just giving information on a situation, decides its time to air every grievance they've had for the last 6 months? I'm dealing with that coworker right now, and it's not the first time, this time I am done apologizing and asking if everything is ok. This is a job, it is not your "life", get over your emotional attachment to meetings, files and phone lines, we are all just doing our jobs! ARGH!

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@MargeGunderson, truly! I am so exhausted today, I haven't slept the last two nights because this person verbally attacked me for asking a question and then made it out that I was being rude. Thankfully it happened with a witness who told this person they were overreacting. The coworker finally calmed down enough to have a conversation, however stilted, but I left the meeting reeling. Like I said, this is not the first time she has gotten her claws out over a minor interaction, and it comes on the heels of an upheaval in our office, but it does not affect her any more than anyone else. She is acting as if she has lost a loved one, and she is lashing out at the rest of the assistant staff. We think it's because she thinks she's going to be out of job, she won't be, but irrational behavior is not a stranger to her. Today she has been avoiding everyone and we are all relieved for the reprieve.

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(edited)

Well, I did it. The forms were sent and YEEHAW! Conflict is only for the past four years! The last year at my other job from five years ago, the last year, 2014-2015, I was undergoing chemo, the firm had split up and the DC office on its own, lost a good chunk of new business, so I did jack shit.  And of course, with the chemo, and reconstruction surgeries I wasn't working until last year May. So not worried about getting conflicted out!

I only put in last two jobs for the background check. They need more, they can get back to me. After all, it didn't say "we need employers from the past five years."

The pay is a little higher than what I was told last night, and the benefits are really good. So I'm crossing my fingers and hoping it all goes smoothly; if it does, my first day is August 6.

MEEP! Forgot to complete the application (which is stupid, since I ALREADY  did that when I applied to their site back on May 30th!)

ETA: All done! Now I'mma just gonna pray.

Edited by GHScorpiosRule
Because Know is NOT the same as Now
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On 7/25/2018 at 3:53 PM, MargeGunderson said:

We're all rooting for you, @GHScorpiosRule

 

On 7/25/2018 at 10:33 PM, Moose135 said:

Good luck! Hope it works out for you, @GHScorpiosRule!

 

On 7/25/2018 at 11:27 PM, AuntieL said:

Good luck @GHScorpiosRule!

Thanks everyone! I really do need your well/good juju wishes! I'm hoping I'll hear something today--last time it took three days for the background check and conflicts, and the conflicts list was much longer and detailed. I even searched on the internet to see what the average time it was.

I'm particularly anxious because the place where I'm contracting at presently, and where I had such high hopes, has turned into grudge work and the fact that both the partner and associate think I'm "too slow" and couldn't bill the client for the hours I worked.  They must think I'm the Flash who can speed through over a 1000 documents in three hours at warp speed or make the ONE xerox machine scan said documents faster than it does. Not to mention that it will only scan documents 25 pages at a time. Any more than that, then I get an error message; and forget about jpeg files. Two, at most, four at a time. First, the associate wanted me to scan each document individually, instead of say

we have to produce documents by Thursday (yesterday by 5). Knowing that there were seven boxes of documents we found last month; each with those expandable folders, and roughly five in each box; and over 600 documents a folder, they really thought I could not only index every single document but scan and save them within a week? He should have just sent them to a vendor and it could have been done in two days. Because vendors have more than ONE copier/scanner and would have used at least two people. One vendor I used in the past, had very reasonable prices.

This was not what I signed up for and not what was presented to me. Anyone can do what I've been saddled with for the past month. At least the partner, when he pulled me aside yesterday, acknowledged that he and his associate know the case better than I do and are familiar with everything. I thought for sure he was going to let me go.

And then the bates stamping, which I should have been able to do in 10 minutes, took me a fucking hour because the stupid dropbox wouldn't let me save said documents after I inserted the bates numbers, and I had to resave them as new files, which fucked everything up and I felt like an incompetent ass, having to remove the numbering and doing it over again, one fucking file at a time. And having the associate scream at me didn't help.

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@GHScorpiosRule, occasionally in my job I have to help people set up scanning projects with vendors. They are usually surprised that all is involved in the process, especially the indexing. Most recently I've been trying (mostly unsuccessfully) to get a group to understand why it is a bad idea to scan 50+ boxes of materials they haven't reviewed and ship it off to another company. It's like they've never heard of intellectual property.

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I'm back at work, working from home, after two freaking days off.  Yeah, in that time, Dip has managed to make two molehills into mountains, because she doesn't know squat.  Crap I was working on, now doesn't matter.  I just talked to the one major party on Monday for a long while, nope, he doesn't need whatever.  I expect that to all change next week.

If I could I'd just quit.  I'm so literally done with them all.  

Also looks like we're taking on work from another group, which is total BS.  They leave on time every day, while we're - excuse me - I'm usually working late.  Boss has moved out of town, just because he wants to live in a different city/region of the country.  He's working remote 24/7, even though there is a corporate office in his new city.  He told me that he'll have an office there, but not going into the office.  How do people get away with this shit? 

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(edited)

Let me know when I can uncross my fingers for you, @GHScorpiosRule.

Coming back to work this week after 2 weeks away was painful. Since all I did during my "vacation" was work on prepping a course for fall (still not done), it really shouldn't have made a diference if I was here or there. Having to wear shoes is that big a burden.

Edited by ABay
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I know I've asked so much of you all here, but I'm feeling so antsy, nervous. My heart rate is speeding so fast. I should hear something today, hopefully(?) about whether I've been cleared. Or not. Any suggestions on how to deal with the anxiety? I did hear from the Conflicts Counsel on Friday after work, and instead of letting her know what my availability was THIS week to discuss/answer her question, I emailed her back and told her I was available now to speak with her.  I decided to call her, but she called me, and it was a fairly short conversation and I'm sure I won't be conflicted out. Now it's just the background check. And the references. I hope my old boss didn't screw me over.

It doesn't help that it didn't take long for the bloom to come off the rose at this current assignment. They certainly don't believe in communication. Nor do they respond to emails. Like this morning, when I let the associate know I was here, she asked if I had completed the second box from Friday. I told her I had--in the email, I sent on FRIDAY. And that some of the documents we had already produced. She jumps in, telling me not to assume. I told her I didn't. I reviewed those documents to make sure, and they were the same ones. And she tells me she never got the email. Riiiiight.

So now I'm sitting here; waiting for what we need to do this week. At least the scanning and grudge work is done. But I'm not happy here.

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Just now, ABay said:

You're not alone here, if that helps.

Can you go for a short walk or go to your car and scream?

Thanks!

My car is at the metro/train station back near my home. I'm going to think positive thoughts!positivethoughts!positivethoughts! Screaming will probably bring in the negative.

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Just keep trying to remember: Everything will work out as its supposed to. If it's meant to be, yay! If it wasn't, then maybe something better is meant to come your way....but I have a feeling you will be back with good news for us all pretty soon.

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2 hours ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

Any suggestions on how to deal with the anxiety?

Meditation, do something for someone else, volunteer (perhaps a few hours at a pro bono place), put your nose in a good book, challenge yourself to cook a new recipe, snuggle with a pet, take a mindful walk (it’s a Buddhist meditation technique), dance to some music that you love, write letters to those you love or miss (family in India), take up an art project (watercolors are cheap), get a mani/pedi...massage or facial, do a crossword or jigsaw puzzle and remember you are where you are supposed to be right now and that better things are headed your way. *hugs* 

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My coworker is back after 2 weeks working remotely. We did not miss her in the office. It was quiet, and I only put in my headphones when I wanted to, not because I had to in order to block out her noise. Another coworker and I were hoping she would decide not to come back. We had no reason to think that would happen, but it was our fondest wish. Sigh.

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(edited)

Just got a status update:

Background check--Cleared

Conflicts-pending (me: What is the holdup? shut up me. Take a deeeep breath)

References: one done, two pending. I call one and he's actually on the phone with the firm right now, so I quickly say thanks and tell him that's why I was calling. I have them four names, so I"m not sure who the last one is. And maaaan, I sure hope ex-boss gives me a good reference! I don't know why I'm anxious over this--probably because the reason he let me go was to say I wasn't very good with this one area, but then contradicted me in saying I was great in the other--regarding cite-checking. And...that made no sense. I'm either great or I suck. cite checking is done the same way for everything. Of course, his last words to me were if he found himself needing help, could he call me? He never did, but that's beside the point. Plus the other reference from the same firm gave me a glowing review yesterday.

I wonder if they'll tell me on FRIDAY everything's a go? 

Just KILL ME NOW.

ETA: References--Done. Per the email I just got after I asked if there was anything I could do about them.

So it's the FUCKING CONFLICTS.

Edited by GHScorpiosRule
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Take some deep breaths and try not to fret your way into elevated blood sugar.  The conflict check is always what they're going to be the most meticulous about, so it takes time.  They've made the conditional offer; they want you, which means they want all this stuff to clear just like you do - they don't want to start over with the next candidate on their list any more than you want to start over with the next potential employer.  You've said you're sure you're not conflicted out, so you just have to allow the time it takes for them to confirm that.  Easier said than done, I know, but just keep in mind the fundamental status here: The job is yours so long as this last thing clears, and you have no reason to believe it won't.  It's not just at a "Well, we may want to hire you" stage -- they are going to hire you unless something unanticipated shows up in the routine checks.  Which you are 2/3 of the way through.  There are no red flags in this timeline; things are proceeding typically.  It's coming soon!

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Hang in there @GHScorpiosRule  I have a good feeling about this. Be positive. Negative energy attracts negative and you don’t need anything negative. You have risen above bigger issues and this is just climbing a hill. You’ve done Mountains before. Fingers still crossed.  *hug* 

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12 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Take some deep breaths and try not to fret your way into elevated blood sugar.

DAMN! That's why my sugar levels have spiked this week! And thanks for this:

14 minutes ago, Bastet said:

They've made the conditional offer; they want you, which means they want all this stuff to clear just like you do - they don't want to start over with the next candidate on their list any more than you want to start over with the next potential employer.  You've said you're sure you're not conflicted out, so you just have to allow the time it takes for them to confirm that.  Easier said than done, I know, but just keep in mind the fundamental status here: The job is yours so long as this last thing clears, and you have no reason to believe it won't.  It's not just at a "Well, we may want to hire you" stage -- they are going to hire you unless something unanticipated shows up in the routine checks.  Which you are 2/3 of the way through.  There are no red flags in this timeline; things are proceeding typically.  It's coming soon!

I need to focus on this.

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@GHScorpiosRule, do focus on what @Bastet said. You're past the "Will they or won't they" stage of the process. Right now it's just checking off the boxes of things they need to confirm before they make the final offer. In the meantime, while you're at work, is there any kind of mindless, tedious stuff that needs to be done? Like scanning in hundreds of documents or organizing the folder structure of stuff (that you would be allowed to reorganize without someone throwing a hissy fit)? To the extent possible, just do busy work so that you're not sitting there staring at your phone or refreshing your email account every 30 seconds, but neither are you working on something critical that you might not do thoroughly because you're distracted. They're keeping you informed of the progress and you can reasonably expect that once the conflicts check is done,  you'll get a phone call or email. Assuming that nothing unexpected pops up in the conflicts check, you should be getting positive news soon.

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I share a cube wall with the most unpleasant woman. We don't work on the same team but I do support her team with communications when they have client-facing projects.

She talks smack about her boss and teammates behind their backs (I don't think she realizes or cares that I can hear every whisper through the wall), she smokes like a chimney so her area reeks of nicotine (and she's had pneumonia this year), she only seems to eat McDonald's and Starbucks, she coughs incessantly, and every sentence is punctuated with this weird closed mouth giggle. Oy.

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