S07.E09: Birthday In The Berks

[Sincerely Yours]

I don't agree with your characterization, but even if I did, Dorinda was sitting right by Sonja and Bethenny, and it was *her place*, as hostess, to decide how to handle any disruption at her own table. Heather had no right to usurp /ignore/blow off Dorinda's position as mistress of her own home and party (a birthday party, yet). So controlling -- and yet, no impulse control at all.

Hostess, smostess. I have no problem checking shit that should be checked because had I been at the table I wouldn't have waiting that long to say something to Beth and Sonja because they were disrupting a conversation I was involved in and being rude to ME along with others at the table  and I would have had every right to tell her that she needs to chillax.

[Grneyedldy]

Heather took ownership for her behavior that night, yet Bethenny never has.  If you re-watch with the closed captions on you will see everything B said. B laughing AT(not with) another guest(Ramona's Date)  is just rude and very mean girl mentality.  In most episodes Beth just shows up and starts taking the piss out of everyone. She is not funny.JMO

I re watched this again with closed caption on. There is no reference to what B is talking about. They show her mid conversation with Dorinda's brother or BIL (not sure who the man is) and it starts with her saying something like.....do you want me to go to the bathroom with you? Do you want me to stab you in the eye with my butter knife?......I'm just paraphrasing here, but if she and Sonja were making fun of Ramona's date, so was that man. I've been to many dinners with that many people and there are always several conversations going on. I think Heather is easily irritated by B and jumped on her shit and was wrong.

[Neurochick]

I don't care how long it's been since the split, or how well she makes/made out in the divorce deal, IT SUCKS FOR A MOTHER TO BE APART FROM HER CHILD FOR 50% OF THE TIME.  It's unnatural and gut-wrenching even in the most amicable of situations.   If I were Bethenny, I would have already gone off the deep end and told every single one of them who commented on her not "putting forth an effort" to go to hell.  Those were the lowest blows, the most selfish comments I've heard on this show, and it highlighted the out-of-whack priorities of the other women.  I don't care how big of an event is going on, when I have my child, every single second from the time I pick her up to the time I drop her off is about my time with her - for my sake just as much as hers.  I wouldn't feel I was missing out by not going after she's in bed, either.  If she wakes up in the middle of the night not feeling well, I want to be the one there to take care of her.  Mom taking off late at night is not something I'd want my daughter getting used to.  Mom can go out and party like a wild woman when the little one is with Dad.   Her choice to show up to an important event such as Dorinda's birthday showed that she's willing, but to be MIA from some lame boxing match should not have elicited the comments made by those ding-dongs.   I'm glad she has her head on straight there. 

 

 

 

My problem with this is, if that's true, then why is Bethenny even on this show?  I saw her on WWH and she said she doesn't need the money, so why is she there?  If she wants to spend more time with her daughter and not be with this group of women, then don't agree to be on this show, she knew what she was getting into when she signed on.  

[Beden]

 

If the highest priority is having unfettered access to your child, it seems to me... that you figure out a way to stay married and happy with their father.

With respect I have to disagree with this. Yes, of course in a perfect world you're right. Sadly, in the real world this isn't always either possible or even the best solution. Okay, I'm divorced, my son was 12 when we split up and he came with me (his father always had unlimited access, just had to either drive over, pick the kid up after school or whatever. Phone access was unlimited, they could see each other any time. The only exception was when I'd ask him to go home because it was 10:30 or 11 on a school night; time to leave for now).

 

Sometimes, for whatever reasons, a marriage breaks down. There are arguments, scenes, bad feelings, anger. Kids aren't stupid and see/know what's happening and it's not a good thing for anyone involved.  People aren't perfect, the Waltons are fictional. Separate and happy beats together and miserable. It just does. Of course it also helps a lot if the parents, the adults in the relationship have the sense not to use the kids as pawns or bargaining chips and keep their shit together.

 

The ex is now remarried to someone he seems happy with. The kid is now 26, skilled and in demand in his chosen field and seems reasonably content with how his life is going and we have a close relationship. And I'm just fine...in my/our case, divorce was the best thing for all of us. I'm just saying...

[QuinnM]

 

I re watched this again with closed caption on. There is no reference to what B is talking about. They show her mid conversation with Dorinda's brother or BIL (not sure who the man is) and it starts with her saying something like.....do you want me to go to the bathroom with you? Do you want me to stab you in the eye with my butter knife?......I'm just paraphrasing here, but if she and Sonja were making fun of Ramona's date, so was that man. I've been to many dinners with that many people and there are always several conversations going on. I think Heather is easily irritated by B and jumped on her shit and was wrong.

 

I watched very closely and this is what I saw and heard.

 

1.  Luann is actively encaged in conversation with Bethenny while Heather is grilling Peter.

2.  The laughter shown was about the fact that Bethenny had many favorite sakes all lined up in front of her place setting.  Sonja and she just collapsed over whatever led to that circumstance.

3.  Just before Heather went nuts Bethenny was speaking to the BIL (or Brother) in response to something he said.  She was asking if he wanted like a butter knife, should they do it here or in the bathroom, was he thinking a main artery.

4.  While Heather is freaking out we hear a table full of conversations.  Then we see everyone at the table stare at Heather like she done lost her mind.

 

Columbo would say:

Heather had no problem with B and S carrying on UNTIL the BIL said OMG this is awful someone please stab me.  So Heather's freak out was because no one at the table appreciated what she was doing.  She just decided to attack Bethenny.  Heather is bullying B and I think we need to notify the anti-bully people about it.

 

So Heather should apologize for the attack.   Bethenny doesn't need to apologize for being the target of the attack.

Edited June 5, 2015 by QuinnM

[SFoster21]

I watched very closely and this is what I saw and heard.

1. Luann is actively encaged in conversation with Bethenny while Heather is grilling Peter.

2. The laughter shown was about the fact that Bethenny had many favorite sakes all lined up in front of her place setting. Sonja and she just collapsed over whatever led to that circumstance.

3. Just before Heather when nuts Bethenny was speaking to the BIL (or Brother) in response to something he said. She was asking if he wanted like a butter knife, should they do it here or in the bathroom, was he thinking a main artery.

4. While Heather is freaking out we hear a table full of conversations. Then we see everyone at the table stare at Heather like she done lost her mind.

Columbo would say:

Heather had no problem with B and S carrying on UNTIL the BIL said OMG this is awful someone please stab me. So Heather's freak out was because no one at the table appreciated what she was doing. She just decided to attack Bethenny. Heather is bullying B and I think we need to notify the anti-bully people about it.

So Heather should apologize for the attack. Bethenny doesn't need to apologize for being the target of the attack.

And, she was not, as has been contended, reprimanding B and S for rudeness, she was "joking" and telling them to "lighten up." Speak sharply at me and when I respond sharply, tell me to "lighten up." Fuck you, Heather.

[QuinnM]

 

And, she was not, as has been contended, reprimanding B and S for rudeness, she was "joking" and telling them to "lighten up." Speak sharply at me and when I respond sharply, tell me to "lighten up." Fuck you, Heather.

 

Oh yeah I forgot the part where she was joking and it was B and S that needed to lighten up.  So I amend by assessment.  I think both Bethenny and Sonja should apologize for not recognizing the playful tone in Heathers voice and the mischievous grin on her face as she jokes with them.  hahaha

[Duke2801]

I completely agree with you. I get if he wants no part of the show. Beth has said publicly that she would never again date anyone who would agree to be on a reality show because of her past experience with Jason. He doesn't have to be on, however, for her to acknowledge that he is in her life or talk about their relationship on her reality TV show that is suppose to be about her life and what is going on at the time. It wasn't a secret. He was photographed with her for over a year all the time. 

 

Yes, this.  There have been other housewives whose husbands didn't want to be on the show and were not filmed.  Dina Manzo's husband (or ex-husband now maybe?) comes to mind.  But he was certainly spoken about and nobody pretended like he didn't exist.  

 

Also, I was thinking...  didn't it come out after Kelly's first or 2nd season that she, indeed, had a long-term boyfriend whom she had been hiding from the cameras?  And didn't Beth call her out about it at one of the reunions??  If I'm remembering correctly, it's even richer to think that SHE is now the one hiding away a big part of her personal life! 

[straightshooter]

My problem with this is, if that's true, then why is Bethenny even on this show?  I saw her on WWH and she said she doesn't need the money, so why is she there?  If she wants to spend more time with her daughter and not be with this group of women, then don't agree to be on this show, she knew what she was getting into when she signed on.  

I actually agree with you. I am not defending Bethenny and am disappointed in her for signing on.   My main point was that the other women do not need to be passing judgment on how she prioritizes her time and that for Heather to compare the nanny loss to the such a loss of time with one's child was ridiculous. 

 

Were all of the comments because they missed her at those events?  Of course not.  They just can't pass up opportunities to take a dig at one another (Bethenny included), but on this subject it just seems wrong and that it should be off limits.  In a perfect reality tv world, I know.... ;)

Edited June 5, 2015 by straightshooter

[Sincerely Yours]

With respect I have to disagree with this. Yes, of course in a perfect world you're right. Sadly, in the real world this isn't always either possible or even the best solution. Okay, I'm divorced, my son was 12 when we split up and he came with me (his father always had unlimited access, just had to either drive over, pick the kid up after school or whatever. Phone access was unlimited, they could see each other any time. The only exception was when I'd ask him to go home because it was 10:30 or 11 on a school night; time to leave for now).

 

Sometimes, for whatever reasons, a marriage breaks down. There are arguments, scenes, bad feelings, anger. Kids aren't stupid and see/know what's happening and it's not a good thing for anyone involved.  People aren't perfect, the Waltons are fictional. Separate and happy beats together and miserable. It just does. Of course it also helps a lot if the parents, the adults in the relationship have the sense not to use the kids as pawns or bargaining chips and keep their shit together.

 

The ex is now remarried to someone he seems happy with. The kid is now 26, skilled and in demand in his chosen field and seems reasonably content with how his life is going and we have a close relationship. And I'm just fine...in my/our case, divorce was the best thing for all of us. I'm just saying...

Sounds like a very healthy and mature way to handle your split. Good for you! I think though the poster might have been referring to the fact that we were able to see into her relationship and marriage to Jason because of BGM and BEA and from what I saw it really did seem that Beth wasn't really invested in creating a marriage, keeping a marriage or having a marriage and participating in a marriage so the fact that she brought a child into what was already a very fragile relationship to me speaks a lot to Beth's priorities from the beginning. It's all good to want to spend as much time with her daughter of course but I don't automatically give her Mom kudos like she's moving mountains to do what's right for Brynn because she's blowing off events for work.

[Crikey]

You see a raging bitch, I see a woman going through a really difficult time.  And, yes, Heather has a child with health problems. But when Heather dredged up a personal problem she could present to illustrate that people other than Bethenny had extremely difficult and deeply emotional challenges in their life, the first thing she landed on was not her son's health challenges, but the fact that her nanny had just left her.  So, yeah, between Heather's deep pain over the loss of her nanny, and Bethenny's torment over losing her marriage and a good chunk of time with her child, I'm going to put my sympathy Bethenny's way.

I took Heather's problem over losing the nanny in a different way.  

Her son has health problems and, I thought, the nanny was very important in dealing with those challenges.  The nanny had probably become very important to the son as well as the family in knowing she was a safe person to deal with the challenges.  I think they probably trusted her a great deal.  Soooooo, I took Heather's pain to be about the son and his safety and health concerns.  She probably felt pain for herself, also, in that she felt safe knowing her son was with someone she trusted and would now  have to build a whole similar relationship with someone new.

I know, I know, I am not a Bethy fan so I cannot see her halo or Heather's horns  (it ain't all black or white)  ;)

[ryebread]

Heather is a dunderhead. Can't vouch for her motives in every case but I think most of us agree she is thick socially.

 

I do notice this trait in many people who are successful in sales. It's a numbers game so what I find to be pushy, persistent, intrusive, annoying , over-assuming etc  does eventually work for them. They seem shameless--but more power to them when they win the set of steak knives.

 

However it doesn't translate well socially and that's what I see with Heather.

 

Nowhere was this more evident to me than after Moaner's friend tells her that he started in construction, opened a restaurant, realized it was hard and subsequently the restaurant closed.  

 

Heather, with a 1,000 tooth grin, a toss of the head and a wave of her hands, loudly proclaims:  "Start a business!  What's to know?! HAR har har!" 

 

LOL.  Dork.  But dunderhead works, too.  Jonathon looked like he was either already trashed and/or resigned to how loud, annoying and center of attention-y his wife is.  

[Sincerely Yours]

I think there's an air of entitlement when it comes to Beth. I think she's one big ball of entitlement actually. Raised by wolves, orphan, homeless, divorce, custody, etc. etc. All these reasons are put forth front and center for one purpose and that's to the let the mere mortasl understand that she can't be expected to behave in a socially acceptable way. It's her get out of jail free card for any and all social missteps or downright rude behavior.  I get being yourself, different, not conforming, being an individual and all that jazz but even when you're being all that there are still basic standards that are never okay to stray from. On occasion, of course, understanding is necessary and we adjust our judgments based on details surrounding someone's circumstances but that shouldn't be abused. I think Beth just doesn't have the skill set to think of anyone but herself, her situation, her woes etc. etc. Right now she's going through something but before all this she had this whole other slue of issues that kept her from really melding in her marriage with Jason and before that she had these childhood issues that kept her from not being a shrill harpy when she was on the dating scene. I'm just tired of her constant excuses and "Reasons" for being a self centered rude mofo year after year.

 

So when Heather was pointing out that everyone is going through something to me it meant "you can't keep using that as an excuse to dismiss other people and commitments".

Edited June 5, 2015 by Sincerely Yours

[beaker73]

I have a 'peanut' younger than Bryn and I have no sympathy for Bethenny and I think human blood still runs in my veins. 

 

Don't sign up for a reality show and lie about having a (former?) Sir-Rapes-A-Lot-In-College as a boyfriend.

 

Don't sign up for a reality show and put your shit on other mothers who love their kids every bit as much as you do by fucking those other moms over so that you can perform the school run and they can't.  Inexcusable to have ANY part in that.  The drop-off process to NYC schools is crazytown, because even broke-ass (real broke-ass people, not Bethennnys) people often have to send their peanuts out of district to try and get them into a school they feel is adequate, so you have 4 through 18 year olds navigating the boroughs M-F.  NOT OKAY to gruffly say 'I had to drop my kid off' like you're getting that Best Mommy Ever Tiara in 2014 while helping to create drama and annoyance where other moms can't then drop their kids off because they are DOING THEIR JOBS and getting mic'd up.  That shit is indecent and chick KNOWS what she is doing.  You think THEY didn't want to 'drop their kid off'?  That it matters less because THEY are holding a marriage together, even to a biped douche in a porkpie hat (ahem, Kristen)?

 

Don't sign up for a reality show if you are so disconnected from reality that the strictures put on your life by your ugly divorce and wrenching custody situation, in which YOU are a participant, will somehow become ANYONE else's fault when they are knee-deep into divorcing a public philanderer, keeping their acutely ill child in strong health, mourning a husband who actually died or anything else.  Nah, mah.  (Hey, that's at least more current than 'check yourself before you wreck yourself,' no holla! required.)

 

The Heather/Bethenny thing should be sponsored by Mutual of Omaha.  I don't know which is the lion and which the gazelle.  But I can't help but root for the highlighted one, even though she is fiailing and was really pretty awful with the meatballs.  But again, have your allergies!  Have finned fish be your kryptonite!  But fucking tell someone you're rolling in to dinner in a limo lined with princess pillows and nut UP,  Bethenny.

**clap, clap, clap**  Thank you for this. 

[straightshooter]

And don't forget the big paycheck she's collecting, too. It's a job. Bethenny isn't the first mother on the planet that has to sometimes put a work commitment ahead of her kid.

I get what several of you are saying about her signing on, but we don't know what is in her contract as far as what's expected of her.  For all we know, she has the freedom to choose which events she attends.   If she's basically doing the equivalent of calling in sick, that's another matter altogether, but that's between her and TPTB - not "the girls".  Maybe they're jealous and think that she has her own separate set of rules, and she very well may.  I don't see it causing too much suffering, though - it means more camera time for them and that seems to be more of a motivator than anything else for most of the members of every cast. 

[Grneyedldy]

I took Heather's problem over losing the nanny in a different way.  

Her son has health problems and, I thought, the nanny was very important in dealing with those challenges.  The nanny had probably become very important to the son as well as the family in knowing she was a safe person to deal with the challenges.  I think they probably trusted her a great deal.  Soooooo, I took Heather's pain to be about the son and his safety and health concerns.  She probably felt pain for herself, also, in that she felt safe knowing her son was with someone she trusted and would now  have to build a whole similar relationship with someone new.

I know, I know, I am not a Bethy fan so I cannot see her halo or Heather's horns  (it ain't all black or white)  ;)

That was my feeling too. I think the loss of her nanny was significant. I don't like comparing "woes". They are apples to spaceships.

[motorcitymom65]

I actually agree with you. I am not defending Bethenny and am disappointed in her for signing on.   My main point was that the other women do not need to be passing judgment on how she prioritizes her time and that for Heather to compare the nanny loss to the such a loss of time with one's child was ridiculous. 

 

Were all of the comments because they missed her at those events?  Of course not.  They just can't pass up opportunities to take a dig at one another (Bethenny included), but on this subject it just seems wrong and that it should be off limits.  In a perfect reality tv world, I know.... ;)

Again, it don't think Heather was making that comparison. She has said this time and time again on Twitter. I think she was simply making a point that everyone has something and since that was her deal she threw it out there. She could have just as easily said "lost a job, a sponsor, a talk show" or whatever. She wasn't saying any of it was the same. Again, if that were Heather's interest she can always throw out the sick kid deal and shut the conversation down, make everyone else looks like shit for whatever they are complaining about, gets bucket loads of sympathy, and win every single time. It's just like I don't think Beth is comparing herself to an actual orphan or homeless person.

I will say the deal about folks complaining about Beth not showing up is interesting, because we've not really seen this, yet it is being discussed. We have actually seen her much of the time. It's nothing like Aviva last year or Lisa V in S4 of the BH show. Yet it is clear this has been happening. Carole was the very first to mention it at the boxing deal when said in what I thought was kind of a hateful way (and I love me some Carole) "she can never go anywhere because of her daughter". Then we got the TH from Kristen where she said something similar. Lu mentioned it to Beth, then Carole confirmed it as an irritant to Beth when they were shopping. This is too many people talking about this with zero response from Beth that they are wrong and it's not happened that way. Kristen in particular has noted in two blogs that Beth missed stuff, specifically things she had planned. Either those things didn't get filmed because Beth wasn't there, or they were edited out. Either way, if Beth missing some events infringes on someone else's camera time, they have every right to discuss it.

[WireWrap]

I get what several of you are saying about her signing on, but we don't know what is in her contract as far as what's expected of her.  For all we know, she has the freedom to choose which events she attends.   If she's basically doing the equivalent of calling in sick, that's another matter altogether, but that's between her and TPTB - not "the girls".  Maybe they're jealous and think that she has her own separate set of rules, and she very well may.  I don't see it causing too much suffering, though - it means more camera time for them and that seems to be more of a motivator than anything else for most of the members of every cast. 

IMO, just mine, all of the women were/are aware of Bethenny's close relationship to Andy and realized that if she was a no show to their event/gathering, it would be unlikely to make it past editing. I think they feared the show would turn into the "Bethenny starting over yet again" show, which it pretty much has so far. JMO

 

That was my feeling too. I think the loss of her nanny was significant. I don't like comparing "woes". They are apples to spaceships.

I think Heathers point was that all of the women face personal challenges/pain and don't use them as excuses to do/say/behave nasty/disagreeable most the time like Bethenny does. JMO

Edited June 5, 2015 by WireWrap

[RedHawk]

Perhaps it was about 8 years ago when people in their 50's and 60's said they were "orphans" because they had lost both their parents.

That fad did not last long since it was so stupid.

And didn't Bethenny have a long history (although in boarding schools) with her mother married for a long time to her stepdad?

A close friend at age 49 lost her father to cancer then one month later her seemingly well mother to a sudden stroke. A lunch a few weeks later she said, "I'm an orphan." Was that "stupid"? No, it was how she FELT.

Yes in our 50s and 60s it's natural to lose one or both parents but in the very beginning there is this feeling of a specific kind of loss when both are gone and "orphan" sometimes is the best way to explain it.

Yeah, Bethenny had a great homelife with her mentally ill mother and the stepdad who physically abused her mother. What's to complain about? According to B, after age 19 she had no contact with the guy and little relationship with her mother. I don't like B very much, but she can I think justify calling herself an orphan.

Edited June 5, 2015 by RedHawk

[sasha206]

As I think about it now, I wonder if part of the reason that Bethenney is so on the brink of what appears to be a breakdown is because maybe she went through her rotten childhood and youth thinking she'll be happy once she has her own money and a family.  She got both of those and was not happy.  She's acheived beyond her dreams, I'm sure, and she's still not a happy person.  That has to be an empty feeling.  So now, at her age, she has to really dea with the root of her problem as honestly as she can.

 

I really hope she is in real, non reality TV, therapy.

[seasick]

Yeah!     seriously B  get awff the crawss!  

[jennylauren123]

Orphan here.

 

Kidding. But both of my parents had died by the time I was 22. They died 10 months apart. But being of age, and being able to take care of myself (and my infant son), I didn't go around proclaiming myself to be an orphan.

 

Let's leave that description to the actual children who lose their parents.

[Trooper York]

First of all Myra who said you could sleep?

 

Also you missed a category. Those of us who are sort of indifferent to Bethenny but really, really hate Carole.

 

Oh I am also allergic to fish but if you ever make it to Brooklyn you got a sausage and pepper hero waiting for you. Just sayn'

[Wendy]

Dear Bethenny, if you didn't want attention why are you on this show? Go cry me a river.

 

She didn't want attention at the dinner, specially after she had already settle the issue of the food with the host Dorinda. Heather kept coming back for more and more until Bethenny told her she didn't want any attention. I understood she wanted to be left alone by Heather.

[hottesthw]

THIS pisses me off to no end (bethenny not the post haha) ! Bethennys whole tag line is (paraphrasing) I am not a housewife but I **am** real... What the frick man! She has a boyfriend the whole time we never hear about who she broke up with during filming yah that's real... Bravo really screwed this up. I get the real ness of reality TV can be distorted but they're packaging Bethenny as real and her story is more fiction than I've ever heard of. Big turn off Andy and Bravo.

Based on her own words she has spouted this season so far Beth is 1) an orphan 2) homeless 3)alone.

Yet we know IRL she technically owns 3 homes, has a longterm boyfriend and filmed scenes with her stepfather at the time of filming.

Reminds me of the boat scandal from one of her shows. Beth is full of shit when it comes to her "reality". She makes it up as it suits her current situation. Which is why my opinions of her are not based on the stories she tells but how she treats people (horribly).

[motorcitymom65]

As I think about it now, I wonder if part of the reason that Bethenney is so on the brink of what appears to be a breakdown is because maybe she went through her rotten childhood and youth thinking she'll be happy once she has her own money and a family.  She got both of those and was not happy.  She's acheived beyond her dreams, I'm sure, and she's still not a happy person.  That has to be an empty feeling.  So now, at her age, she has to really dea with the root of her problem as honestly as she can.

 

I really hope she is in real, non reality TV, therapy.

I just don't think any of it is really real. I don't think she is on the verge of a breakdown. I think it is just part of the story that is being built to explain away all the negative press she has garnered over the last 2 years. I think in reality she is dancing, vacationing, and living a great life. She was miserable in her marriage and I think she is far happier outside of it. Is the divorce stuff hard and the custody arrangement agony? Of course it is, but I don't believe it's brought her to the point of a breakdown anymore than I believe she went to Miami to see the guy who use to beat her mom on camera after 20 years for a reason other than it completed the narrative.

[Crikey]

If she has never gone, Bethy needs to visit an orphanage and a homeless shelter.

If she has visited .....   :(

Gratitude for what one has rather than what one does not have is a huge part of happiness.

[SFoster21]

You know Luann dressed up like Lana Turner at that dinner but I think Bethenny is going to recreate her life.

I hope she doesn't start dating Johnny Stompanato. Just sayn'

It was more Rita Hayworth than Lana Turner. Maybe she'll be lucky enough to marry Orson Welles. Edited June 5, 2015 by SFoster21

[hottesthw]

I get what several of you are saying about her signing on, but we don't know what is in her contract as far as what's expected of her. For all we know, she has the freedom to choose which events she attends. If she's basically doing the equivalent of calling in sick, that's another matter altogether, but that's between her and TPTB - not "the girls". Maybe they're jealous and think that she has her own separate set of rules, and she very well may. I don't see it causing too much suffering, though - it means more camera time for them and that seems to be more of a motivator than anything else for most of the members of every cast.

Except it sounds like there is more to it. They have all complained about her missing things for whatever reason and we've not seen any of those events as of yet. So if the Bravo gods are actually not airing scenes because B isn't there, we'll that's not fair to her coworkers. And if she is getting to skip things because of her kid that's not fair either. They all have kids they are missing time with so if they agree to do so, why does she get to skip out? I for one would be pissed if I had to leave my kids for work commitments only to get there and ask where my coworker is and be told they couldn't come because they had to do xyz with their kids.

Granted, none of this would technically be Bethenny's fault it would be the boss' fault for letting it happen. But i could see where her coworkers would easily have issues with this and take it out on her.

Edited June 5, 2015 by hottesthw

[Mya Stone]

First of all Myra who said you could sleep?

Also you missed a category. Those of us who are sort of indifferent to Bethenny but really, really hate Carole.

Oh I am also allergic to fish but if you ever make it to Brooklyn you got a sausage and pepper hero waiting for you. Just sayn'

Who's Myra? :p

And 5 hours doesn't constitute GOOD sleep, right? Certainly my 3 year old had other plans for me today. A nap? Not one of them. :(

But yum. I'll totally take you up on that hero!

[Trooper York]

Hey did you see the first look on-line?

 

Bethenny is mopping the floor and singing "It's a Hard Knock Life."

[Wendy]

And you know what? It makes me like Heather more.

 

Only on  Real housewife show would trying to befriend a coworker be viewed as a negative trait.

 

That said, Heather is a grown up with plenty of friends of her own. She doesn't need Bethenny's stinking friendship. She should be as cordial as is strictly necessary to film with her. The end.

 

Who are Heather's friends? I mean outside the show. Have we ever seen them? For how much deal it has been made about Bethenny and her real life friends, I wonder if we have ever been regaled with Heather's real life friends, or Carole for that matter, how about Heather's real house in NYC, have we ever gotten a glimpse of her actual home? If we have please direct me to that episode, I would like to see it.

 

Heather was not trying to be friendly with Bethenny, she was being an asshole, whispering and mocking Bethenny and her food choices, making snarky remarks like "well, she doesn't want my help so she will eat nothing", excuse me? is that your house? are those your cooks? Heather to proclaim that Bethenny will eat nothing just because she refused her help was beyond the pale.  Dorinda, the actual host and house owner, had already fixed the situation with Bethenny but Heather was mocking and kept it going for absolutely no reason. 

 

Bethenny and Sonja were giggling and laughing about the drinks they were having, they were having a good time but their mistake was that they were not paying attention to Heather roasting Peter, huge mistake, Heather went into defcon helicopter mommy and declared that she will have to "separate you two" , excuse me again? the host is right next to Bethenny and if she doesn't have a problem with her then why do you? there were other side table conversations happening but Heather took an issue with Bethenny. The final nail in the coffin was went she dared to cross the space between her and Bethenny to grab her by the hand and take her out of the dinning room for her special kind of pep talk and scolding, I am sorry but who the fuck does Heather think she is? That was really a shitty move. Heather totally crosed the line there.

 

In her mind Heather had convinced herself that she was the cohost, but she forgot to tell anybody else, Dorinda was nice enough to play along with her and entertain her nonsense , grabbing the bottle that John brought to Dorinda first, deciding placement of dinner guest, that is just Heather, you give her a hand and she takes the arm. Bethenny informed the host of the event and she probably thought that would be enough, she wasn't making a big deal out of it, she told Dorinda that she will see what her options were when the food came but Heather wasn't having it. Heather is a control freak and she is lucky that the other ladies have gotten along and let her take charge.

 

Heather was not one bit happy that Bethenny came, her main gripe against her is that she doesn't show up to events, so Bethenny coming ruined that tag line. Heather was only pretending to care and being overly caring but in reality Heather can care less about Bethenny and she is mad because Bethenny is not falling for her mind games.

[suzeecat]

A close friend at age 49 lost her father to cancer then one month later her seemingly well mother to a sudden stroke. A lunch a few weeks later she said, "I'm an orphan." Was that "stupid"? No, it was how she FELT.

Yes in our 50s and 60s it's natural to lose one or both parents but in the very beginning there is this feeling of a specific kind of loss when both are gone and "orphan" sometimes is the best way to explain it.

Yeah, Bethenny had a great homelife with her mentally ill mother and the stepdad who physically abused her mother. What's to complain about? According to B, after age 19 she had no contact with the guy and little relationship with her mother. I don't like B very much, but she can I think justify calling herself an orphan.

From Wikipedia:

An orphan (from the Greek ὀρφανός orfanos[1]) is a child whose parents are dead or have abandoned them permanently.[2][3] In common usage, only a child who has lost both parents is called an orphan.

 

Both my parents passed away when I was an adult living on my own and yes, I would consider myself an orphan, but not in a "pity me" way, no more than me admitting I am divorced is expecting people to feel sorry for me.  That's just the facts.  I don't feel like I have it just as hard as those who lost parents when they were children, but not having both parents makes me sad for many reasons. 

 

And gosh, it seems to me that Bethenny is featured on this show plenty and when Kim Richards was, for the most part, MIA for a couple of seasons of RHOBH I didn't hear nearly this much complaining from her fellow HWs. 

[SFoster21]

Who are Heather's friends? I mean outside the show. Have we ever seen them? For how much deal it has been made about Bethenny and her real life friends, I wonder if we have ever been regaled with Heather's real life friends, or Carole for that matter, how about Heather's real house in NYC, have we ever gotten a glimpse of her actual home? If we have please direct me to that episode, I would like to see it.

Heather was not trying to be friendly with Bethenny, she was being an asshole, whispering and mocking Bethenny and her food choices, making snarky remarks like "well, she doesn't want my help so she will eat nothing", excuse me? is that your house? are those your cooks? Heather to proclaim that Bethenny will eat nothing just because she refused her help was beyond the pale. Dorinda, the actual host and house owner, had already fixed the situation with Bethenny but Heather was mocking and kept it going for absolutely no reason.

Bethenny and Sonja were giggling and laughing about the drinks they were having, they were having a good time but their mistake was that they were not paying attention to Heather roasting Peter, huge mistake, Heather went into defcon helicopter mommy and declared that she will have to "separate you two" , excuse me again? the host is right next to Bethenny and if she doesn't have a problem with her then why do you? there were other side table conversations happening but Heather took an issue with Bethenny. The final nail in the coffin was went she dared to cross the space between her and Bethenny to grab her by the hand and take her out of the dinning room for her special kind of pep talk and scolding, I am sorry but who the fuck does Heather think she is? That was really a shitty move. Heather totally crosed the line there.

In her mind Heather had convinced herself that she was the cohost, but she forgot to tell anybody else, Dorinda was nice enough to play along with her and entertain her nonsense , grabbing the bottle that John brought to Dorinda first, deciding placement of dinner guest, that is just Heather, you give her a hand and she takes the arm. Bethenny informed the host of the event and she probably thought that would be enough, she wasn't making a big deal out of it, she told Dorinda that she will see what her options were when the food came but Heather wasn't having it. Heather is a control freak and she is lucky that the other ladies have gotten along and let her take charge.

Heather was not one bit happy that Bethenny came, her main gripe against her is that she doesn't show up to events, so Bethenny coming ruined that tag line. Heather was only pretending to care and being overly caring but in reality Heather can care less about Bethenny and she is mad because Bethenny is not falling for her mind games.

Glad that you mentioned her taking the gift from John and opening it! She never even took it to Dorinda! Woman is a piece of work with the busybodyness.

[Grneyedldy]

I think Heathers point was that all of the women face personal challenges/pain and don't use them as excuses to do/say/behave nasty/disagreeable most the time like Bethenny does. JMO

Yes, I was agreeing that I understood Heather's point. We all have "stuff".

[Trooper York]

Heather has a bunch of prison friends. We haven't seen them because they are not yet out on parole.

 

We are scheduled to meet them early in 2017.

[The Evil One]

I guess I can see the Betheather situation from both perspectives. I didn't think Bethenny was being particularly dramatic about her fish/shellfish declaration. I took it as one of two ways - either she just blurted it out reflexively after a few cocktails or that she was just saying it, since she was sitting right next to Dorinda, so that Dorinda would not be offended if B didn't touch her plate. Maybe, I'm wrong, but I thought it completely innocent. I also think Heather was, at least in her own mind, trying to be hostess given the whole Berkshires thing and that given it was Dorinda's birthday, she wanted to step in and help so that Dorinda could enjoy her night.

 

That said, Heather really cannot read B or needs to get over it. After one time of B saying she was fine and could manage with the food, drop it already. I think Dorinda put it very well when she contrasted Heather the caretaker versus B needing to make her own solutions. I think Heather came into this situation thinking she and B would be fast friends because of the similarities in running a business, being straight shooters and she's hit nothing but a brick wall with B. I think if Heather had been the one in that corner getting tipsy and laughing with B, rather than Sonja, she'd have had no issue whatsoever. In any case, the whole situation escalated when it didn't need to. Heather needs to learn when to butt out and B needs to learn that every fight doesn't need to be fought with a flamethrower.

[Trooper York]

Myra is your new nickname. I thought that was the rule?

Edited June 5, 2015 by Trooper York

[sasha206]

I guess I can see the Betheather situation from both perspectives. I didn't think Bethenny was being particularly dramatic about her fish/shellfish declaration. I took it as one of two ways - either she just blurted it out reflexively after a few cocktails or that she was just saying it, since she was sitting right next to Dorinda, so that Dorinda would not be offended if B didn't touch her plate. Maybe, I'm wrong, but I thought it completely innocent. I also think Heather was, at least in her own mind, trying to be hostess given the whole Berkshires thing and that given it was Dorinda's birthday, she wanted to step in and help so that Dorinda could enjoy her night.

 

That said, Heather really cannot read B or needs to get over it. After one time of B saying she was fine and could manage with the food, drop it already. I think Dorinda put it very well when she contrasted Heather the caretaker versus B needing to make her own solutions. I think Heather came into this situation thinking she and B would be fast friends because of the similarities in running a business, being straight shooters and she's hit nothing but a brick wall with B. I think if Heather had been the one in that corner getting tipsy and laughing with B, rather than Sonja, she'd have had no issue whatsoever. In any case, the whole situation escalated when it didn't need to. Heather needs to learn when to butt out and B needs to learn that every fight doesn't need to be fought with a flamethrower.

 

I completely agree.

 

I think Heather's one of these people that probably makes friends pretty easily and she just doesn't understand why Bethenney seemed to take an instant dislike to her, particularly as you noted they have some commonalities.  I think she expected an easy relationship -- like the one she has with Carole.  

 

So instead of letting the relationship grow naturally, she's smothering her when they are around trying to get the relationship going.  I think she expected when she came over to grab Bethenney's hand that they'd go in the other room and get all their issues out on the table, walk back out of the room with a new understanding and maybe have a relationship to grow on.   

[breezy424]

From Kristen's blog:

 

Red Lion Inn--We all start talking about Bethenny, but what you all don’t realize is that she just wasn’t around much when we were all hanging out. And because Heather and I haven’t gotten to know her yet, at this point we have no idea what’s going on in her private life (I am watching now just like you are), and so we are totally confused as to why she’s back--what does she want from the group? We’ve invited her places, but she can’t/won't come. We are viewing this as not really up for making the effort. It clearly seems like she could use some friends, maybe a shoulder to cry on. Friends are something that it seems Bethenny could use right about now. Not everyone is out to get her. Some of us are actually really great ladies with big, kind hearts.

 

I think this is important for us viewers.  When the show was filming, no probably knew about Beth's therapy sessions, her meeting with her stepfather and their conversation, etc.  And if a housewife is not at a particular event, they don't know exactly went on at that event.  Their perspective is going to be different from ours.

 

I also think the whole Ro's boyfriend was producer driven.  Hey Carole and Lu - we're going to have a scene with you two looking at an article about Ro's plus one.  Hey Heather - we want you to bring this up during dinner. 

[motorcitymom65]

Who are Heather's friends? I mean outside the show. Have we ever seen them? For how much deal it has been made about Bethenny and her real life friends, I wonder if we have ever been regaled with Heather's real life friends, or Carole for that matter, how about Heather's real house in NYC, have we ever gotten a glimpse of her actual home? If we have please direct me to that episode, I would like it.

We have seen Heather's friends on several occasions. At her Anniversary Party, where she mentioned that all the people who were in their wedding party were in attendance because they have been blessed to have these people remain close friends. We also met several of her friends at one of the charity events she had for that liver transplant organization, as well as her fashion show. Of course we have met several of Carole's actual friends. That guy who lives in the building has shown up several times, and she had the baby shower last year and many of her friends were there. The recipient of that baby shower was at her apartment when she got her results from the election deal last week. Carole introduced the audience to her friends who are designers (their names simply will not come to me), and lots of her friends when she went out to her house in LA.

I don't get the deal with Heather's house either. Same with Lu's house in the city. We just never see them for whatever reason.

[Jel]

I am sorry but who the fuck does Heather think she is? 

She's Heather Thomson, Uber Competitor!

 

She's got to have the most friends and the right friends, like RH darling Bethenny Frankel. But sadly, she's used every arrow in her quiver and still no love. So now, she's pissed, like any good competitor would be.

[WireWrap]

From Wikipedia:

An orphan (from the Greek ὀρφανός orfanos[1]) is a child whose parents are dead or have abandoned them permanently.[2][3] In common usage, only a child who has lost both parents is called an orphan.

 

Both my parents passed away when I was an adult living on my own and yes, I would consider myself an orphan, but not in a "pity me" way, no more than me admitting I am divorced is expecting people to feel sorry for me.  That's just the facts.  I don't feel like I have it just as hard as those who lost parents when they were children, but not having both parents makes me sad for many reasons. 

 

And gosh, it seems to me that Bethenny is featured on this show plenty and when Kim Richards was, for the most part, MIA for a couple of seasons of RHOBH I didn't hear nearly this much complaining from her fellow HWs. 

IMO, the difference between Kim (BH) and Bethenny is that Kim was never a central figure to the BH show and they knew she was high/drunk much of the time but did not out that (except Kyle season 1) until this season. They would make comments about her being "late as usual" or the "Where's Kim?" all the time. Bethenny on the other hand is a show vet that was central to the show when she was on and is a close personal friend of the boss, Andy and IMO, they were all aware that if she attended their events/parties, these would make it to air instead of on the cutting/editing room floor.  JMO though

 

I completely agree.

 

I think Heather's one of these people that probably makes friends pretty easily and she just doesn't understand why Bethenney seemed to take an instant dislike to her, particularly as you noted they have some commonalities.  I think she expected an easy relationship -- like the one she has with Carole.  

 

So instead of letting the relationship grow naturally, she's smothering her when they are around trying to get the relationship going.  I think she expected when she came over to grab Bethenney's hand that they'd go in the other room and get all their issues out on the table, walk back out of the room with a new understanding and maybe have a relationship to grow on.   

Heather was on Bethenny's talk show and they got along just fine so I think Heather felt they would be fine when Bethenny rejoined the show and is surprised/hurt, that in fact this did not happen and does not understand what happened or why this changed. IMO, Bethenny came back knowing she would use Heather as her way to gain sympathy/support back from the viewers and is playing a game on Heather on purpose and sadly, Heather has not figured this out yet. I agree that Heather just needs to ignore Bethenny outside of saying "hello" and let Bethenny find another victim to use instead of playing into her hand/game. JMO though

[Trooper York]

That might happen because word on the street is that Bethenny gets into it with Kristen.

 

Bethenny doesn't want to pick on someone her own size so she is going to lay off of Heather.

 

Of course someone her own size would fit into a four year olds pajamas.

[Mondrianyone]

I don't get the deal with Heather's house either. Same with Lu's house in the city. We just never see them for whatever reason.

It's possible--and I have no way of actually knowing this, obviously--that their co-op boards refused permission for filming on the premises.  I don't know how much disruption there is with trucks parked outside, cabling in the hallways, noise generated in the apartment that affects adjoining apartments, use of electricity or generators.  It might be an annoyance to the degree that it spills out into public spaces, and I can see a board just saying "Not gonna happen here."  (I was on our co-op board for several years, and sometimes all it takes is one relentlessly pissy person to shut something down.)

 

 

 

Edited because "is" doesn't mean "it."

Edited June 5, 2015 by Mondrianyone

[WireWrap]

It's possible--and I have no way of actually knowing this, obviously--that their co-op boards refused permission for filming on the premises.  I don't know how much disruption there is with trucks parked outside, cabling in the hallways, noise generated in the apartment that affects adjoining apartments, use of electricity or generators.  It might be an annoyance to the degree that it spills out into public spaces, and I can see a board just saying "Not gonna happen here."  (I was on our co-op board for several years, and sometimes all it takes is one relentlessly pissy person to shut something down.)

 

 

 

Edited because "is" doesn't mean "it."

Very good point! Didn't Aviva rent that house last season because her board said NO to any filming at her apartment/building? Hmmm, maybe that is why Carole decided to get on her board, so she could keep filming at her apartment. LOL

[Wendy]

 

I don't get the deal with Heather's house either. Same with Lu's house in the city. We just never see them for whatever reason.

 

Exactly, they all show us what they want us to see , it is not just Bethenny.

 

Bethenny doesn't show us her BF because she said he doesn't want to be on the show. Heather never shows her her house and she probably has valid reasons for that, Heather and Carol refer to their friends and we have seen glimpses of them just as much as Bethenny mentions her friends and we have seen them more on her spin off than in RHNY, yet some have made a fact that she has no friends.

 

My point is that it is childish to blame editing when each and every one of these women come with an agenda to the board room, Heather as well as Bethenny doesn't need this show, she already has a succesful business and a child to take care off, so why she does it? isn't that the logic applied to Bethenny? IMO they both do it for promotional reasons, I had never heard of Yummu products until Heather was on RHNY, so she has pretty good reasons to do it. Bethenny has a commitment of 7 years with Beam so she probably is doing it to keep promoting the cocktails and her own products because that is the way she negotiated her contract. Besides Bethenny has to pay off Jason so someohow she has to keep making money because she has to pay him for the next 14 years to come. More promotion, more sales, more money. Don't each of these Bravo HW do it for their own personal reasons?

 

The difference between Heather and Bethenny IMO is the place where they are coming from, Bethenny is showing us her struggles, without being able to say too much she is giving us a glimpse into the chaos of her life right now even when it is not pretty, while Heather is mainly focus in conflicts with the other ladies as her one and only story line.

 

Heather is IMO playing a role, she wants to be mother earth, the wise one, the strong one, yet she is coming across and a know-it-all, busi buddy who meddles into every situation whether it involves her or not and that is going to be her own downfall, not editing, Heather's own fault. She of course likes to blame Bethenny but the reality is that the one who is going overboard and acting like a ass is Heather, editing can't put words in your mouth, "she doesn't want my help so she will eat nothing", "do I have to separate you two?"," I can tell you whatever fuck I want to tell you" , "come with me" - while grabbing her hand and trying to pull her away - among her verbal diarreas are not coming from overlap and fixed voices , they are coming from Heather

Edited June 5, 2015 by Wendy

[Trooper York]

I thought Bethenny was living in a shelter like the rest of the homeless people. 

 

Who wants to see that? That is way too depressing.

[motorcitymom65]

Wow, talk about apples and spaceships.

The same thing would be if Heather led us to believe she had no house. No place to live no place to park her stuff. Has she ever led us to believe she doesn't live somewhere when she really does? Beth is very obviously making us believe she is alone. No love interest. No boyfriend. She tells her Therapist she cannot let anyone in. Her divorce has made her a vulnerable person. She cannot trust. She said she would rather be surrounded by people she has known for a long time even if they have hurt her vs letting a new person get close to her. In the next episode she will talk about not wanting to be with a man again. She would rather be a Lesbian. There is zero comparison in not seeing a home that Heather has said she has, and not seeing a boyfriend that Beth pretends does not exist.

Exactly, they all show us what they want us to see , it is not just Bethenny.

Bethenny doesn't show us her BF because she said he doesn't want to be on the show. Heather never shows her her house and she probably has valid reasons for that, Heather and Carol refer to their friends and we have seen glimpses of them just as much as Bethenny mentions her friends and we have seen them more on her spin off than in RHNY, yet some have made a fact that she has no friends.

My point is that it is childish to blame editing when each and every one of these women come with an agenda to the board room, Heather as well as Bethenny doesn't need this show, she already has a succesful business and a child to take care off, so why she does it? isn't that the logic applied to Bethenny? IMO they both do it for promotional reasons, I had never heard of Yummu products until Heather was on RHNY, so she has pretty good reasons to do it. Bethenny has a commitment of 7 years with Beam so she probably is doing it to keep promoting the cocktails and her own products because that is the way she negotiated her contract. Besides Bethenny has to pay off Jason so someohow she has to keep making money because she has to pay him for the next 14 years to come. More promotion, more sales, more money. Don't each of these Bravo HW do it for their own personal reasons?

The difference between Heather and Bethenny IMO is the place where they are coming from, Bethenny is showing us her struggles, without being able to say too much she is giving us a glimpse into the chaos of her life right now even when it is not pretty, while Heather is mainly focus in conflicts with the other ladies as her one and only story line.

Heather is IMO playing a role, she wants to be mother earth, the wise one, the strong one, yet she is coming across and a know-it-all, busi buddy who meddles into every situation whether it involves her or not and that is going to be her own downfall, not editing, Heather's own fault. She of course likes to blame Bethenny but the reality is that the one who is going overboard and acting like a ass is Heather, editing can't put words in your mouth, "she doesn't want my help so she will eat nothing", "do I have to separate you two?"," I can tell you whatever fuck I want to tell you" , "come with me" - while grabbing her hand and trying to pull her away - among her verbal diarreas are not coming from overlap and fixed voices , they are coming from Heather

Edited June 5, 2015 by motorcitymom65

[film noire]

Hostess, smostess. I have no problem checking shit that should be checked because had I been at the table I wouldn't have waiting that long to say something to Beth and Sonja because they were disrupting a conversation I was involved in and being rude to ME along with others at the table  and I would have had every right to tell her that she needs to chillax.

No offense, but if someone treated my invitation and hospitality in that way, I'd feel belittled and they'd never be invited back -- you've been lucky in your hostesses, Sincerely!:) 

Edited June 5, 2015 by film noire