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Small Talk: We'll Be Right Back


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On 8/9/2017 at 11:05 PM, bilgistic said:

The management office loves to tell me the reason for the increases is "the market", as if I don't know about the market from working in commercial real estate. I know what I rent and what it's worth.

My 1969 apartment complex and my unit with circa 1987 finishes isn't competing with Midtown and Uptown new construction that's $2000-3500(!!) a month and includes stainless appliances, granite countertops, "wood-look" blinds, laminate flooring throughout, valet trash and laundry, a pet washing station, etc. I sat and heard the multifamily guys (sellers of apartment complexes) talk about this stuff all.day.long.every.damn.day. Don't at me with "the market" when my carpet is pulling apart at every seam and edge. Ugh!

I want to move to the middle of Colorado with no people around. Just give me the internet and delivery service, since I hate cooking.

I'm fiesty tonight!

I'm not in Colorado but I have a huge, isolated property and we can put a cute little cottage on the very edge for you (cats welcome!). All you have to deal with are all the critters.  And I love to cook. 

I could never, ever give up cheese. Ever. I put cheese on anything I possibly can. 

  • Love 4
17 hours ago, Maharincess said:

I'm not in Colorado but I have a huge, isolated property and we can put a cute little cottage on the very edge for you (cats welcome!). All you have to deal with are all the critters.  And I love to cook. 

I could never, ever give up cheese. Ever. I put cheese on anything I possibly can. 

Don't tempt me. I'm about three minutes away from packing up and leaving the South.

  • Love 4

On another thread, there was a discussion about You Are My Sunshine. It's currently being used in an ad where a mother is singing to her child. I never thought of that song as a mother and child, I always thought it was a lover/sweetheart that had left or died. From the lyrics I've found, I do believe it is a lover/sweetheart. Here are the lyrics as I found them. There's a threat that most mothers wouldn't make to their child, "if you leave me to love another, you'll regret it someday." Unless that is the mother of Norman Bates. lol.

Full lyrics to “You Are My Sunshine” - first recorded in 1939 by Jimmie Davis and Charles Mitchell.

The other night dear, as I lay sleeping,
I dreamed I held you in my arms,
but when I woke dear, I was mistaken,
and I hung my head and cried.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
you make me happy when skies are gray
you'll never know dear, how much I love you,
please don't take my sunshine away.

I'll always love you and make you happy
if you will only say the same
but if you leave me to love another
you'll regret it all some day

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
you make me happy, when skies are gray,
you'll never know dear, how much I love you,
please don't take my sunshine away.

You told me once dear you really loved me
that no one else could come between
but now you've left me and love another
you have shattered all my dreams.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
you make me happy, when skies are gray,
you'll never know dear, how much I love you,
please don't take my sunshine away.

On 8/23/2017 at 6:11 PM, ennui said:

It's the chorus. I doubt mothers sing the whole song to young children. I wouldn't know all the lyrics without Google.

I sing the chorus to my granddaughter. I started singing it to her when she was a preemie in the hospital and I would go up every night at 6:30 for her evening feeding. It's our song and I don't care if people think it's weird. She's now 9 years old and we sing it to each other all the time and we always buy things with the saying on it for each other.  We sing the chorus as is but over the years we've rewritten the rest of the words to fit us. 

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15 hours ago, janie jones said:

My guess is that most people don't know that the chorus isn't the entire song but think of it as a short lullaby that's just a few lines long.

Right, and in a sense that becomes the truth -- songs are adapted or abridged into new songs over the years, all the time, and acquire new meanings. Is "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" "really" about Katie Casey and her mania? 

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42 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

I was born in October, so my birthstone is opal. I wear only silver/stainless steel/titanium jewelry, and it's pretty rare to find opals set in anything but yellow gold. I am not a fan of yellow (or rose) gold).

Moving the birthstone talk over here ...

Mine is also opal, and I also don't much care for yellow gold.  I have one opal ring that I love, because it has a big opal in the center and baguette diamonds on both sides, so you don't really see the gold.  But I don't have any other opal jewelry beyond what was given to me as a kid, despite liking the stone, because of the opal = yellow gold thing.

I've heard that, I don't particularly care. Back in the 70s I was given some opal earrings. The setting were a black metal and the prettiest thing about them, the stones were a milky white and just nothing. I didn't understand what the deal was, I thought they were rather ugly. Then in the 90s, my ex husband gave me a pair of opal earrings in a gold setting. The stones were tiny, but they were so fiery, they just shot fire when you turned them! Unfortunately, I lost them. I pulled them out of my ears, stuck them in my jeans pockets and forgot about them, then washed the jeans, they've returned to the earth from which they were born. But if I ever had a big lottery win (difficult, since I rarely buy tickets) I would buy more opal jewelry, and they'd be bigger stones but probably not earrings, I hardly wear them anymore. I have a couple of peridot rings, they're ok, nothing special. 

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Opals are my all-time favorite.  I used to go to rock shows, and buy loose stones and chunks of opal, so cheap and so beautiful!  I have a few wonderful pieces, but I hardly ever wear them, either.  My settings are white gold and they look good.  My own birthstone is topaz, and I have a few pretty ones, both natural orange and irradiated blue.

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I'm emerald. In 92, my mother and I went on a cruise through the Panama Canal, stopping in Colombia. I don't know why we didn't buy an emerald while we were there. But since then, I've read they're kind of fragile - easily cracked & then they shatter, so I'm sure I'd have broken the thing by now had we gotten one.

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1 hour ago, Prevailing Wind said:

I'm emerald. In 92, my mother and I went on a cruise through the Panama Canal, stopping in Colombia. I don't know why we didn't buy an emerald while we were there. But since then, I've read they're kind of fragile - easily cracked & then they shatter, so I'm sure I'd have broken the thing by now had we gotten one.

This is true. It is difficult to find emeralds that don't have some cracks or flaws. My mom left me all of her jewelry and she had a large emerald ring. It is not flawless and therefore is not worth much. 

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(from a discussion in a different thread) My granddaughter just started 4th grade and she has a black, male teacher. He's her second male teacher and her second black teacher but her first black, male teacher. She LOVES him.  She thinks he's the best, funniest teacher ever. He gives them a joke at the start of class and they have to tell him what they think the punchline is as they're walking out for the day. She loves that.  We have been inundated with bad, corny kid jokes for the last couple of weeks.  This teacher doesn't rap though. 

My birthstone is Ruby. I've had a few cats named Ruby in my life and my mom bought me a ruby and diamond ring for my 18th birthday since hers was diamond, I still wear it every day. My granddaughter will get it after I'm gone.  My kids stones are aquamarine and blue topaz and I have a ring with their stones.  For my daughter's 30th birthday I had a ring made for her with hers and the kids birthstones. I refused to put my sin in law's birthstone but that a whole other story.  The birthstone ring/jewelry is a tradition in my family. I have my mom's, she started the tradition. 

Insomnia sucks. 

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Depends on what you mean by regional. I grew up in southern Indiana, where there was hardly anyone who wasn't white. I'd never even met someone who was black until I went to college - and immediately wondered what all the flipping fuss had been about. :/

ETA: I graduated high school in 1979.

Edited by riley702
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3 minutes ago, riley702 said:

Depends on what you mean by regional. I grew up in southern Indiana, where there was hardly anyone who wasn't white. I'd never even met someone who was black until I went to college - and immediately wondered what all the flipping fuss had been about. :/

ETA: I graduated high school in 1979.

I'm sorry-I meant East coast vs. West coast/Midwest. Like I mentioned-I live in MD, usually referred to the D.C./MD/VA metropolitan area. I lived in the suburbs. 

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2 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

I'm sorry-I meant East coast vs. West coast/Midwest. Like I mentioned-I live in MD, usually referred to the D.C./MD/VA metropolitan area. I lived in the suburbs. 

I suspect it's more likely big town vs small. I went to visit my grandmother in assisted living, in a small town 20 miles outside Atlanta. My uncle took us to dinner at his favorite restaurant. I'm sitting there going "what is weird about this place" - it finally hit me - every single person was white. The town my grandmother had lived before that was more diverse than that; my uncle obviously has poor taste in small towns.

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29 minutes ago, Jamoche said:

I suspect it's more likely big town vs small. I went to visit my grandmother in assisted living, in a small town 20 miles outside Atlanta. My uncle took us to dinner at his favorite restaurant. I'm sitting there going "what is weird about this place" - it finally hit me - every single person was white. The town my grandmother had lived before that was more diverse than that; my uncle obviously has poor taste in small towns.

I never saw as many white people (not to mention blonds) as when I had a layover at Salt Lake City airport.  Even more blonds than in Sweden and Norway.

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15 hours ago, Jamoche said:

The town my grandmother had lived before that was more diverse than that; my uncle obviously has poor taste in small towns.

How so? If he doesn't care that there are no good ethnic markets or other such facilities that would come with a more diverse population (or attract them - it's a bit of a catch-22 situation), what difference does it make? Diversity is more than race too, so a town that seems diverse visually may not have any Russian or Polish markets because there are no Slavic people.

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I was lucky enough to attend an elementary school with the first black principal in my town. He was awesome and went on to become superintendent of the school district. His name was Don Phelps and he had the most beautiful singing voice. He once told my mom that the ideal teacher/student situation was the teacher sitting on one end of a log and the student sitting on the other, one on one. He was a big man with a big heart and everybody loved him. RIP Mr. Phelps.

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16 minutes ago, LoneHaranguer said:

How so? If he doesn't care that there are no good ethnic markets or other such facilities that would come with a more diverse population (or attract them - it's a bit of a catch-22 situation), what difference does it make? Diversity is more than race too, so a town that seems diverse visually may not have any Russian or Polish markets because there are no Slavic people.

It's an 80% white small Southern town. It's the kind of place that thought a "Gone With The Wind" theme park would be a good idea. The biggest restaurant is one step up from Denny's. Trust me, there is absolutely no diversity of any sort there.

And if that's his thing, fine. But he put my grandmother there, and she's not happy.

Edited by Jamoche
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My reply to the question about K-12 commercial. In Oklahoma, many of the schools have miserably failed their students, especially in lower class neighborhoods where parents are either working 2 or 3 jobs to support their families or living off welfare and drugs, depending on your point of view. I actually think it's a mixture, but whatever, the schools are not addressing the needs of many students. I have a 18 yr old great nephew, he's been diagnosed ADHD, bipolar and about a zillion other mental health problems. I think the problem is with my sister, his grandmother, who was more interested in drugs than raising her children. The mother of this young man went between her doting grandfather, (my dad) who thought she could do no wrong and spoiled her at every turn, yes, this is part of the grandparent role, but sometimes the grandparents have to step in and provide boundaries and rules and safe places for the grandchildren. I love my father dearly, but sometimes, where his grandchildren were concerned, he was blinded by his love and his desire to shower them with things he didn't have growing up in the depression and struggled to provide a roof over our heads when we were children. And my niece was removed from my sister's care by the state when she was 5 or 6, for several years, way too many reasons for me to go into, but there was a lot of failure on the parts of a lot of people, probably including me, I wasn't in a position to step in, I was newly married and as it turned out, my husband was a drunk, but I was struggling with a new marriage and couldn't find a way to take on a young child. By the time my sister got my niece back, she had another baby girl and they packed up and moved to Oklahoma to follow baby daddy #2. And, just as a side note, father of daughter #1 is a drunk and drug user, sometimes the children are doomed if there isn't intervention. Baby daddy #2 is also a drunk, he is also the father of baby #3 and the reason he moved to Oklahoma was to escape the consequences of his child molesting conviction of my oldest niece. So she's got all the strikes and so do the other 2 girls, now grown women. My sister didn't care if any of the kids went to school, she wasn't interested, she had learning disabilities and school was hard for her and we had a mother who enforced the rules about going to school and was involved. But it was the 60s, and my sister bought into the whole sex, drugs and rock and roll scene. I'm several years older and a ton smarter (lol) and I avoided all that crap. 

Back to my point, school wasn't important, my sister didn't want to be bother, my dad spoiled her and my niece was a lost kid, school wasn't important to her, it wasn't interesting. I don't know if she had learning disabilities, but there were enough other strikes against her. When she was about 14, she turned her mother into the state because druggie friends were molesting the younger girls. They were permanently removed from my sister and there were several years of court battles between my family, the state and the younger girls' father. My oldest niece had run away from home by then and just stayed where ever she could find a place. She's now been diagnosed bipolar and she's batshit crazy and she won't go for help because she'd have to give up her gun. But by the the time she was 18, she was rootless, mostly homeless and she got pregnant, she desperately wanted someone to love her. God, I wish teenage girls would understand that babies don't love you, at least not like they dream of, babies are dependent, demanding, needy creatures. And she got Alex, his father was a druggie, and had mixed up sexual identities, yep, all that adds up to the future of this country. I love Alex and I wish to God that I had stepped in when he was a toddler and taken him away from his mother, but I kept thinking she was his mother and she deserved a chance. And by then, I was finally foster parent to the 2 younger girls. The older one of the two has numerous learning disabilities and is bipolar and had been bumped from pillar to post and abused sexually, neglected, I couldn't handle her, she went to a therapeutic foster care home where I cannot say enough how wonderful her foster mother was, she got #2 on a great path. Meanwhile, I had #3, we were doing well, she was improving in school, she was smart, she was interested, I had her in school activities, like I said, we were on a good path too. But then a new caseworker came along and she decided she was going to do something that no one else had been able to do, she was going to close the case. She never came inside my home for more than a few seconds, but she decided that the girls had to go back to their father, it didn't matter that they had never lived with him, that he was a drunk and a convicted child molester, because that was in another state, she was going to close the case. And just like that the girls were gone, we didn't have any contact with them for about 4 years, by then they were running away, shop lifting and having sex at very young ages, actually because of their ages and the ages of their partners, it was statutory rape, and they still won't talk about anything their dad may have done, I suspect he did. Their father certainly didn't give a shit if they attended school, so they didn't. None of my nieces graduated, a couple of them have GEDs, but with their histories, why should they care if their kids went to school?

And the oldest one, didn't, he has zero interest, I've had him a couple of times for several months at a time, I've had him in school, but it was too little too late, and I know from when he was 14 and lived with me, that a great deal of this is failure on the part of the schools. He was expelled after 2 weeks. I was at the school, I talked with teachers and the principal. What a damn joke! He had problems, they didn't want him, he was gone. 

Add to this that I had another teenager living with me for a while. She wasn't interested in going school either. I couldn't legally enroll her, but I did look into the K-12 program for both of them. I am not qualified to home school, nor am I particularly interested, but I could supplement and assist with school work. These are not stupid kids. I've worked with them, I've had long conversations about things like "what is a diplomat, what is diplomatic immunity?" I explained, I've taught. I turn everything I can into a learning event. To the point where when the teenage girl and I were doing laundry and I told her there was a better way to do what she was doing, did she want me to explain and she replied, well, you're going to do it anyway! We both laughed, so I've tried to back off a little from the teaching, but I will discuss anything with them, except my own sex life and past, that's none of their business. I've had them reading To Kill A Mockingbird and The Diary of a Young Girl and we had discussions. Like I said, they are not stupid, they have minds that need to be filled and the schools are failing.

Sorry, this was so long, I had a lot to say.

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The NY Times has a great article today about charter schools in Michigan and how bad they've been (thanks in no small part to the Devoses). There is some reference to online charter schools, such as K12, being the next "frontier", i.e., way to suck up public money.

"The latest trend, virtual charter schools, could prove particularly lucrative for operators, who receive the same per-pupil funding as physical schools, but operate entirely online".

Imagine not having to pay for the physical plant, but getting exactly the same funding. These people have no soul. I'm in Michigan and we do see constant ads for K12 and other online schools. I take some online classes for work; IMO the method is completely inappropriate as a substitute for classroom learning for most children.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/05/magazine/michigan-gambled-on-charter-schools-its-children-lost.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=second-column-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news

Peridot, maybe online would work for your kids, and I admire you for the courage with which you've faced 10 lifetimes of adversity. But the companies running these online schools aren't doing it out of the goodness of their hearts. 

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53 minutes ago, bad things are bad said:

Imagine not having to pay for the physical plant, but getting exactly the same funding. These people have no soul. I'm in Michigan and we do see constant ads for K12 and other online schools.

We get them in California, too.  I went online one time to k12's website trying to find out information about them, but they wouldn't give you details unless you signed up.

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bad things are bad, I understand what you are saying. I did not go with this program as a solution. I never did find one, I was grasping at straws, trying to find a way to get these kids an education, something that they would actually do and learn. They are no longer with me but their problems are going to be with this country for generations. I don't know what a solution is, if I did I'd start an online school and get rich off of it, lol. But we have to find ways to educate children who have problems for whatever reason they have those problems. Many of these children just cannot engage in regular classrooms, and I think, that at least in Oklahoma, part of that problem is the emphasis on testing results, if the students don't test at certain levels, the schools don't get funding, teachers who can engage their students are not encouraged. I went to school in the 50s and 60s, I think we had some testing in about 3rd or 4th grade and a couple more times through my school life, it wasn't constant and unrelenting. They seem to just teach students how to test, no wonder the kids are bored out of their minds! 

I was never fond of science in school, I only did what I had to do, it bored me. For several years, I loved watching Mythbusters and I have thought that if teachers taught science like that show, I would have paid attention and maybe been more engaged. I know that there are a lot of basics, for instance the elementary tables in chemistry (that "C" in my only chemistry class in college was a proud "C", I struggled) but learning and memorizing is boring. I have a degree in History, but I had very few teachers who required much date learning, we had to understand the timelines of events, but I didn't ever have to do memorization of dates. If that was the biggest requirement of history classes, I would never have gone that route. 

I had some innovative and memorable teachers over the years, in 4th grade, we did have to learn the multiplication tables, I can still do multiplication in my head over 60 years later, but the same teacher taught us cursive by writing lyrics to old songs on the blackboard and we had to write them in cursive, I still know the words to My Blue Heaven and Paper Doll, but my 18 yr old great nephew cannot read a grocery list in cursive. Maybe it's outdated to write things any more, but it's a shame. I had a drama coach in high school that was my personal "Mr. Holland". Science is necessary to learn and makes the world work, but the arts are what makes it worthwhile for many of us. I was a horribly shy kid and I'm an introverted person, but because I took that drama class for 2 years, I was able to interview for jobs, participated in meetings, work retail for a couple of years.

Edited by friendperidot
education is a noun, educate is a verb
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4 hours ago, friendperidot said:

I was a horribly shy kid and I'm an introverted person, but because I took that drama class for 2 years, I was able to interview for jobs, participated in meetings, work retail for a couple of years.

I have a friend that, as an adult, he signed up for a drama class. His plan was to run for the state legislature and needed a more commanding presence. It worked.  Served two terms & then gave it up. He is greatly missed in the State House.

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On September 6, 2017 at 3:09 PM, friendperidot said:

Science is necessary to learn and makes the world work, but the arts are what makes it worthwhile for many of us

I think you answered your own question for what a solution could be.  The arts are always the first to go, when cuts in education are made and that's unfortunate.  I believe every child can learn, but every child doesn't learn the same way.

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On 9/21/2017 at 9:59 PM, Trini said:

My yearly rant about the Xmas merchandising: UGH -- the stores at least used to have the decency to wait until after Halloween to put out the Christmas stuff; why I'm looking at aisles of it in September?? Thanksgiving is going to get forgotten again this year.

I saw something on Facebook about if someone is playing Christmas music in October, you're legally allowed to kill them and use their corpse for Halloween decorations. Seems fair. :P

Edited by riley702
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Got my Chlorox spinning bathtub scrubber yesterday, put it together, didn't bother with the instructions, but I may give them a look. I let it charge for a couple of hours, the light went from red to kind of green, I turned it on, just to see. It ran out of charge quickly, guess that green need to be really green. The top section where the brushes go seems to come loose from the other parts easily so I'll have to hold onto that part while I use it to keep the connection going. 

This morning, the light was a much more definite green. So I attached a brush, sprayed some cleaner in the sink and went to work. I used the brush that is kind of pointy and it did well on the faucet and knobs and around the base, but none of the brushes will get between the faucet and the wall, but I was able to do a fairly good job all around the knobs, or in this house they're kind of lever shaped, but I was able to scrub around where the levers come into contact with the base. It looks pretty good.

Still had power so I changed brushes to the small flat one and worked on the top of the outside of the bathtub. I think once upon a time there were sliding doors there, there is still a residue strip all along that top. I got some of it off, so I'm encouraged to keep working on it. Put the big fluffy brush on, it does well where the bathtub curves around the bottom, the has been kind of a hard place for me to clean, but with the long handle, I could stand outside the tub and reach around the entire bottom of the tub. There are some rust stains and some hard water stains in the tub and those are going to require more attention and maybe a cleaner like CLR.

I'm pleased with it. I'm going to try the kitchen stove soon, it's a gas stove and gets cooked on crud on top of the pilot lights and along the inner ridge of the burners. But not today. It's back to charging for the brush and for me.

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Quote

Lol. Critical thinking should be taught in school just like math and civics. Do they even teach civics any more?

My civics class was called Participation in Government or PIG for short. We were sooo clever. As for critical thinking, I was pretty dang surprised when the ELA (English Language Arts) teacher at my son's high school said that after they take the standardized test in March (I think) they would move on to trying read/find bias in stuff and read/listen to something critically. I almost jumped and screamed. SOOO glad that he's doing that. Son is a sophomore and he had him last year and there were so many interesting and engaging things that they read and discussed. I'm so glad he's got him again this year. I'm assuming it's part of the English department plan. 

So, I guess some still are? Doesn't seem like it sometimes, though. Of course, I remember being 15 and thinking I had all the answers. But I have no problem engaging in discussions with him, pushing him to explain and defend what he's putting out there. 

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16 hours ago, frenchtoast said:

My civics class was called Participation in Government or PIG for short. We were sooo clever. As for critical thinking, I was pretty dang surprised when the ELA (English Language Arts) teacher at my son's high school said that after they take the standardized test in March (I think) they would move on to trying read/find bias in stuff and read/listen to something critically. I almost jumped and screamed. SOOO glad that he's doing that. Son is a sophomore and he had him last year and there were so many interesting and engaging things that they read and discussed. I'm so glad he's got him again this year. I'm assuming it's part of the English department plan. 

So, I guess some still are? Doesn't seem like it sometimes, though. Of course, I remember being 15 and thinking I had all the answers. But I have no problem engaging in discussions with him, pushing him to explain and defend what he's putting out there. 

That's awesome! Good work mom or dad.

I'm glad some students somewhere are being taught critical thinking. I think all they do teach here is testing. But I don't have children in school and I stopped watching all newscasts on November 9. I do look at several news sites daily so I can keep up with the national and world news but unless a local friend says something about what's happening locally, I'm out of the loop. Every now & then when I watch something on a network affiliate, like DWTS, I hear a headline about something coming up on the late broadcast. I look at the Weather Channel on line, so I really don't have many reasons to look at local news. And I dislike the local news anyway, one of them has to relate every national news event to somehow being connected to Oklahoma, like most Oklahomans are too stupid to grasp the concept of something happening on a national or world level without an Oklahoma connection. And another station has to bring religion into every broadcast, especially if there's an Oklahoma connection to a national religion story. I mentioned this to a native Oklahoman who had never lived anywhere else and they didn't seem to be the least bit concerned. I've lived a couple other places in the US and no, every local news station does not do this with every national story. And there are a couple of other local news broadcast channels that I don't watch for other reasons. And I quit reading the local newspaper about 20 years ago. I used to read one or two papers daily, now I only read news sources on line. I do have a subscription to a much larger paper on my Kindle, so after I glance through their headlines, I can get out the Kindle and read the story.

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