Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)

[coconspirator]

Why is Jill so sure her dad will lose his job? There’s this thing called FEMLA that would almost certainly protect his job until he’s able to return. Yes, it’s unpaid but applying for FEMLA will make sure he has a job to go back to if/when his wife is well. 
 

[oliviabenson]

Of course it’s prayers that saved ma not the medical staff… no thanking them at all. Gee wonder if she got the staff a Starbucks gift card / pastries in appreciation for the care ma is receiving? Nah don’t think so!

[GeeGolly]

Jill has close to 7000 followers on FB and only 50 folks donated to her parents. This GoFundMe may be the undoing of her decades long success of the Great Grift.

[Albanyguy]

2 hours ago, oliviabenson said:

Of course it’s prayers that saved ma not the medical staff… no thanking them at all. Gee wonder if she got the staff a Starbucks gift card / pastries in appreciation for the care ma is receiving? Nah don’t think so!

Instead of thanking them, she’s obsessed over the amount of hair they had to cut off…don’t those heathens realize it’s her mom’s crowning glory!! 

[ginger90]

Imaging being in the hospital under these circumstances, and Jill takes “an hour and a half” working on your hair. I have to wonder what she used in it and how careful she was not to disturb the incision site.

[GeeGolly]

6 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Imaging being in the hospital under these circumstances, and Jill takes “an hour and a half” working on your hair. I have to wonder what she used in it and how careful she was not to disturb the incision site.

And what possible infectious germs she left behind.

[ginger90]

Just now, GeeGolly said:

And what possible infectious germs she left behind.

Exactly, it’s just mind boggling.

[Trillium]

She’s going to a funeral for her mom’s hair, it’s she?

[merylinkid]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

Imaging being in the hospital under these circumstances, and Jill takes “an hour and a half” working on your hair. I have to wonder what she used in it and how careful she was not to disturb the incision site.

I just cannot imagine what her mother went through being yanked around by Jill for an hour and half to get the blood out.   Just ugh.   Oh and btw, shaving it would have solved the problem easier and faster, and allowed for more even regrowing.

Aaah yes, Ma Noyes, sick and confused but she sure knows about the wedding.   OF COURSE SHE DOES.   Because Ma Noyes would ONLY be thinking about what is going on in JILL's life right now.   Nothing else.  

Ooops yep, gotta get Kaylee grifting early so Jill can be taken care of.   Not that doing a bridal registry is that unusual.   It's that 1) Mom is posting it all over SM  instead of just letting invited guests know and 2) posting it publicly at a time the bride's grandmother is in ICU.   

Then of course there is the plea for $$$$$ for her dad.   

Jill has gone a little too hard on the grift lately.   Grifters always overstep and it all falls apart.

[farmgal4]

10 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:

Tomorrow is Sofia's 7th birthday. Here's the last time her mother paid attention to her.

OMG, what a loon. 

[BradandJanet]

Poor Sophia. It's the forgotten child's birthday. If Jill has time to help Kaylee shop for her registry, she can take a few minutes to buy Sophia a pair of shoes in the right size. 

[Insert Username]

Her mom is just going to have to cut all of her hair off so that it grows back evenly...why not just shave it now.

Jill "just rolled up her sleeves"... she is so selfless and giving that she has to let the world know (otherwise it didn't happenb)

She reminds of those celebrities who pay "secret visits" to some charity...so secret that a professional photographer instantly leaked the photos to every paper

[crazy8s]

3 minutes ago, Insert Username said:

Jill "just rolled up her sleeves"... she is so selfless and giving that she has to let the world know (otherwise it didn't happen)

Jill "rolling up her sleeves" certainly doesn't give an image of her gently cleaning mom's hair. It sounds like she's off to clean a filthy bathroom. Except she has been so blessed with girl children to take care of jobs like that....

[ginger90]

I’m sure Sofia’s birthday post will include the GoFundMe, perhaps another mention of the gift registry, and even an update on Jill’s mother.

[crazy8s]

and a pic of sofia's unmasked face pressed right up against grandma's face.

[Turquoise]

Well, Ma's birthday was finally acknowledged, even if it isn't as big of a deal as HER HAIR.

I understand hair is a sensitive issue, especially for women. But I cannot imagine being so worked up about something that will grow back, when her mom may face serious cognitive issues.

[BigBingerBro]

She has much more to worry about than her mom's hair.   She must feel so out of control in the situation, so the only thing she CAN control is her mom's hair.   So sad.   Regardless, I hope her mom pulls through.

[galaxygirl76]

6 hours ago, oliviabenson said:

Time for Jill's next grift because I'm sure Jonathan (and Kaylee) will find themselves compelled to gift most of what they receive to their precious bestest Mama ever.

[Absolom]

6 hours ago, coconspirator said:

Why is Jill so sure her dad will lose his job? There’s this thing called FEMLA that would almost certainly protect his job until he’s able to return. Yes, it’s unpaid but applying for FEMLA will make sure he has a job to go back to if/when his wife is well. 

Her father is in his 70s.  What job does he have that isn't a relatively easily replaced part-time thing?  If they were normal (I know yeah right) the family would be concerned about him not working and the parents having enough retirement to live on.  I'm a bit younger and all my kids have asked over time if I needed anything, if I have enough money, etc.  But again would Jill pass up anything for herself to make sure her parents needs are met?  Not for a second.

[libgirl2]

13 minutes ago, galaxygirl76 said:

Time for Jill's next grift because I'm sure Jonathan (and Kaylee) will find themselves compelled to gift most of what they receive to their precious bestest Mama ever.

Where is she at? That doesn't look like a Walmart or the other places one would register at normally. 

Edited July 15, 2022 by libgirl2

[BradandJanet]

13 minutes ago, galaxygirl76 said:

Time for Jill's next grift because I'm sure Jonathan (and Kaylee) will find themselves compelled to gift most of what they receive to their precious bestest Mama ever.

Well, I hope no one gives Jon and Kaylee money as a gift. Jill will get most of that. As for gifts, BME probably gave a lot of input into the registry based on her own likes and wants. How would Kaylee know what to request without Best Momma's help? 

[crazycatlady58]

19 minutes ago, Absolom said:

Her father is in his 70s.  What job does he have that isn't a relatively easily replaced part-time thing?  If they were normal (I know yeah right) the family would be concerned about him not working and the parents having enough retirement to live on.  I'm a bit younger and all my kids have asked over time if I needed anything, if I have enough money, etc.  But again would Jill pass up anything for herself to make sure her parents needs are met?  Not for a second.

He may not be able to make enough money on a part time job. As others said he needs to apply for family medical leave ( I know that is not the correct term but cannot think of it right now) are all businesses required to offer that?? Maybe he is working for a smalll independent business where it is not offered. 

[tabloidlover]

8 hours ago, oliviabenson said:

[tabloidlover]

Jill, is there some reason that YOU cannot help your Dad out?  As in, personally contribute?  I believe the Bible (including KJV) says to honor your mother and father.  Seems only reasonable that means YOU should help, but what do I know?  I’m in leggings and a raggedy shirt while I’m working from home - a real job that PAYS me 🙄

[Absolom]

The place he works may not qualify, but also if he's receiving social security and works too much it reduces his benefit.  That's why I'm going with a part-time job.  Also he'd have to work 24 hours a week to be covered under FMLA and maybe that's why Jill isn't mentioning it.  I don't have any actual facts about what Pa Noyes does, but I'm in their age group as are my friends and no one is working more than 16 to 20 hours a week.  In fact almost no one is still working.  I know some 70 somethings want to work and some have to, but it isn't the majority.  

[Cinnabon]

11 minutes ago, Absolom said:

The place he works may not qualify, but also if he's receiving social security and works too much it reduces his benefit.  That's why I'm going with a part-time job.  Also he'd have to work 24 hours a week to be covered under FMLA and maybe that's why Jill isn't mentioning it.  I don't have any actual facts about what Pa Noyes does, but I'm in their age group as are my friends and no one is working more than 16 to 20 hours a week.  In fact almost no one is still working.  I know some 70 somethings want to work and some have to, but it isn't the majority.  

I seem to remember he has his own business? Regardless, he should keep working, at least part time right now. Pat has a huge family to be with her in the hospital (too big). He can be at the hospital after work. Or Jill and David can get jobs to contribute. Like that will ever happen.

[BradandJanet]

At age 70, Pa Noyes is eligible for his maximum social security benefit, so that amount is set. However, he can work part-time without a penalty.  

He installs a certain brand of septic systems. I'm not sure if he is a direct employee of the parent company or an independent contractor. At any rate, if he can still do the work physically, he probably should continue for a while. There's no place to sit in Ma Noyes's hospital room as it is. He can drive up from West Virginia on weekends and stay in Jill's upstairs attic guest room. 

[Trillium]

2 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

Where is she at? That doesn't look like a Walmart or the other places one would register at normally. 

I’m sure Target is out since they have Pride section and their registry is gender neutral. I’m guessing like a Christian bookstore? IDK but yeah it’s a random place for sure

[Salacious Kitty]

We don't know when Pa Noyes started receiving SS benefits. He may have started at 62 or 66. We don't know if he works full or part time now. We don't know if his company is large enough for him to apply for FMLA.

I agree that he needs to go back to work. My dad did after my mother's strokes (yes, multiple). Of course, this was when I was a kid, and there was no FMLA. He really had no choice. 

Once she was transferred to the rehab place, we would go see her in the evenings and weekends. We survived. 

[Notabug]

2 hours ago, crazycatlady58 said:

He may not be able to make enough money on a part time job. As others said he needs to apply for family medical leave ( I know that is not the correct term but cannot think of it right now) are all businesses required to offer that?? Maybe he is working for a smalll independent business where it is not offered. 

FMLA is only required to be offered by businesses with 50 or more employees.  The employee has to have worked there at least a year and the 50 employees must reside within 75 miles of the person requesting leave.  So, remote employees doing billing or sales would not count towards the 50.

So, if her dad has his own business, or works at a business with fewer than 50 employees, he would not qualify.

Also, FMLA does not provide any compensation, the employee doesn't get paid while on leave.  So, if the problem is that Jill's father can't afford to buy food and pay basic living expenses for the 12 weeks of FMLA, it isn't going to help.  This also begs the question of why an elderly man who has sold a home recently and is now living on land owned by his daughter and her husband; seemingly doesn't have a dime put away for a rainy day.

Jill was asking for 20 grand for her parents, that is a lot of money to tide them over for the  several months it might take until Mama can be left alone.  Many, if not most people live on far less than that.

Edited July 15, 2022 by Notabug

[libgirl2]

I was on FMLA when I had to take care of my parents. It was intermittent. I used my sick time and if that ran out vacation time. When I had two surgeries a few years ago, I used my sick/vacation and only had to have a couple of unpaid days for the first one. The second was scheduled after my anniversary when a whole new set of sick and vacation kicked in. 

[crazy8s]

3 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

Where is she at? That doesn't look like a Walmart or the other places one would register at normally. 

I saw a comment today guessing Kaylee was registering in the hospital gift shop. I know it's not, but the idea of that made me laugh because it is so perfect for Jill. Every visitor to see Pat will be handed the list and told to be sure to stop by the gift shop on the way out to bless Jonathon and Kaylee on their wedding day 4 months from now.

I am actually surprised she hasn't thought of that

[BradandJanet]

Because she's so busy with her mother, Jill is going to have to buy a lot of her own Plexus products now if she expects to stay at the shiny gold level. 

I wonder if any of the Plexus people have donated to the GFM. Jill has probably sent private emails to everyone. I doubt people on her down line can afford to spare much, but the REAL ruby earring lady might have some extra cash. 

[libgirl2]

6 minutes ago, BradandJanet said:

Because she's so busy with her mother, Jill is going to have to buy a lot of her own Plexus products now if she expects to stay at the shiny gold level. 

I wonder if any of the Plexus people have donated to the GFM. Jill has probably sent private emails to everyone. I doubt people on her down line can afford to spare much, but the REAL ruby earring lady might have some extra cash. 

Jill could pawn the earrings! 

[farmgal4]

1 hour ago, Notabug said:

FMLA is only required to be offered by businesses with 50 or more employees.  The employee has to have worked there at least a year and the 50 employees must reside within 75 miles of the person requesting leave.  So, remote employees doing billing or sales would not count towards the 50.

So, if her dad has his own business, or works at a business with fewer than 50 employees, he would not qualify.

Also, FMLA does not provide any compensation, the employee doesn't get paid while on leave.  So, if the problem is that Jill's father can't afford to buy food and pay basic living expenses for the 12 weeks of FMLA, it isn't going to help.  This also begs the question of why an elderly man who has sold a home recently and is now living on land owned by his daughter and her husband; seemingly doesn't have a dime put away for a rainy day.

Jill was asking for 20 grand for her parents, that is a lot of money to tide them over for the  several months it might take until Mama can be left alone.  Many, if not most people live on far less than that.

I can think of 15 reasons why Jill’s parents might not have a rainy day fund.  

[Cinnabon]

2 minutes ago, farmgal4 said:

I can think of 15 reasons why Jill’s parents might not have a rainy day fund.  

I can too. But unfortunately that means that Jill’s dad should continue to work now, at least part time to survive. Unless one of his kids can take him/them in. How many kids does he have?

[merylinkid]

4 hours ago, tabloidlover said:

Jill, is there some reason that YOU cannot help your Dad out?  As in, personally contribute?  I believe the Bible (including KJV) says to honor your mother and father.  Seems only reasonable that means YOU should help, but what do I know?  I’m in leggings and a raggedy shirt while I’m working from home - a real job that PAYS me 🙄

THIS right here.   Instead of 70 year old dad having to work for however many hours while he is probably DEVASTATED by his wife's condition, his hag of a daughter could get off her Plexus filled ass and help out.   By which I mean getting a real job, not shilling Plexus or grifting.

[oliviabenson]

1 hour ago, Cinnabon said:

I can too. But unfortunately that means that Jill’s dad should continue to work now, at least part time to survive. Unless one of his kids can take him/them in. How many kids does he have?

4 daughters 

[Notabug]

1 hour ago, Cinnabon said:

I can too. But unfortunately that means that Jill’s dad should continue to work now, at least part time to survive. Unless one of his kids can take him/them in. How many kids does he have?

Dad lives on property belonging to Jill's sister, the severely broken-necked Amy, and her husband; so, logically, he should be able to live with them.  Since Amy is quadriplegic, her house should have large doorways, an accessible shower and other amenities for mama, too.  However, Amy also has 6 kids, ranging from around 8-15 years old, so space is probably at a premium.  Amy most likely has various medical aides to help her bathe and take care of other tasks who would need space to work although I don't think they've got live-in help.  Amy's disability should qualify them for state supported home health care, not full time, but probably several hours a day.  It is far less expensive to provide them with assistance so she can live at home rather than in a care facility.

[oliviabenson]

It would have been better to cut all of mas hair off. Easier to maintain in a hospital setting. But who cares what’s easier for ma/staff! It’s all about Jill and her love for hair… of course Jill and get extensions need sprucing up/replacing!

[GeeGolly]

I don't know what is up with the dad, finances, job etc, but why don't they do what most families do? Most families band together, scramble and figure things out.  If the dad can't be there everyday, he can't - its that simple.

If money for medical bills is the problem, well that sucks too, but they have no idea what the cost will be. If they need financial help for them in the future, then maybe that would be a more appropriate time to start a GoFundMe.

I can guarantee you, most families muddle through situations like this without asking for donations.

Edited July 15, 2022 by GeeGolly

[Absolom]

Just for a devil's advocate position, perhaps Pa Noyes should not try to work.  Zero earned income, probably not high social security for them, perhaps Ma Noyes would qualify for Medicaid to go with Medicare and voila no medical bills.  The family unit might earn more that way for the next few months.   

[Cinnabon]

13 minutes ago, Absolom said:

Just for a devil's advocate position, perhaps Pa Noyes should not try to work.  Zero earned income, probably not high social security for them, perhaps Ma Noyes would qualify for Medicaid to go with Medicare and voila no medical bills.  The family unit might earn more that way for the next few months.   

This is often what is recommended, and I agree with it. Our lack of universal healthcare is deplorable, imo, and this may be the best option for an elderly couple.

[Notabug]

49 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I don't know what is up with the dad, finances, job etc, but why don't they do what most families do? Most families band together, scramble and figure things out.  If the dad can't be there everyday, he can't - its that simple.

If money for medical bills is the problem, well that sucks too, but they have no idea what the cost will be. If they need financial help for them in the future, then maybe that would be a more appropriate time to start a GoFundMe.

I can guarantee you, most families muddle through situations like this without asking for donations.

Yep, isn't that what most of us would do/have done?  I know in my own family, we've worked it out when things like this happen.  When my grandfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer back when I was in high school; his 7 kids and their spouses got together and figured it out.  My mother, along with some of the other women in the family worked out a schedule so someone could be with him in his home 24/7 because that was what he wanted.  People that worked took some of the nights and weekends, others adjusted their work schedules. and they rotated in and out of the house as needed for the 4 months until he died. My mom was a SAHM at the time with a 1 year old.  When it was her turn, she and the toddler packed up and went to grandpa's for a week at a time while the rest of us at home took care of things there.  That's one of the advantages of having a large family; everyone can pitch in and help.

When there were expenses involved, the person staying at the house at the time took care of it and they kept track and divvied up the total after he died.  It's what families do.

Edited July 15, 2022 by Notabug

[Zella]

5 minutes ago, Notabug said:

Yep, isn't that what most of us would do/have done?  I know in my own family, we've worked it out when things like this happen.  When my grandfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer back when I was in high school; his 7 kids and their spouses got together and figured it out.  My mother, along with some of the other women in the family worked out a schedule so someone could be with him in his home 24/7 because that was what he wanted.  People that worked took some of the nights and weekends, others adjusted their work schedules. and they rotated in and out of the house as needed for the 4 months until he died. My mom was a SAHM at the time with a 1 year old.  When it was her turn, she and the toddler packed up and went to grandpa's for a week at a time while the rest of us at home took care of things there.  That's one of the advantages of having a large family; everyone can pitch in and help.

This is what my family did too when my great-grandmother's health started to decline. She had 7 kids, and they each took a day each week. Unfortunately, some of her children passed away or their own health declined during that time period, so the schedule had to be tweaked accordingly. But she was able to stay in her home, which was her preference, until the last month or so of her life. 

Jill and her sisters need to work something out to help their parents, though I pity anyone who has to try to organize anything with her. 

Edited July 15, 2022 by Zella

[Trillium]

56 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I don't know what is up with the dad, finances, job etc, but why don't they do what most families do? Most families band together, scramble and figure things out.  If the dad can't be there everyday, he can't - its that simple.

If money for medical bills is the problem, well that sucks too, but they have no idea what the cost will be. If they need financial help for them in the future, then maybe that would be a more appropriate time to start a GoFundMe.

I can guarantee you, most families muddle through situations like this without asking for donations.

This exactly. While sad, their situation is not unique, it is the reality as people age. That is why even if you have limited resources you plan for things like long term care. 
 

Isn’t there some Dave Ramsey bullshit that talks about elder care planning? Or is he not the right flavor of Christian for them? 

[crazy8s]

Update late last night from Tim's sister.

UPDATE ON PAT NOYES FROM Brenda Noyes-Gainer ---

Home and blessed to have had special time with family. Pat made some great strides these last couple of days. She even got to eat her first real food since a week ago. The doctor reminded us this morning that her healing will be a marathon, not a sprint. To give it 6 months to see effects of brain aneurysm and how far her progress is. Thank you everyone for all the prayers and kind words. Keep them coming

[Salacious Kitty]

Nurthan's house is on the market. IIRC, they paid something in the neighborhood of $40k for it. They're asking $145k. 

[ozziemom]

9 minutes ago, Salacious Kitty said:

Nurthan's house is on the market. IIRC, they paid something in the neighborhood of $40k for it. They're asking $145k. 

Well BME did some renovation and decorating  for Nurthan’s house, that would certainly increase the market value, lol.

[Salacious Kitty]

Just now, ozziemom said:

Well BME did some renovation and decorating  for Nurthan’s house, that would certainly increase the market value, lol.

The dreckoations are on display in the listing pics. 😂