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S40.E14: Dakota Johnson / Alabama Shakes


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Not only was Dakota funny and charming in Ben and Kate, but she's actually quite funny in 50 Shades.   She's got great timing, and can be so goofy even though I see her as quite sexy and vivacious.  I came here expecting to see so much negativity, so I'm pleasantly surprised.  

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I actually really had no opinion of her one way or the other, but after seeing her act like a brat to her mother on the Oscar red carpet, I'm not really looking forward to her.  

 

I am looking forward to Alabama Shakes though; they were just full of energy and joy the last time they were on the show.

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My sister informs me that I am the last person in the universe to realize that she's the daughter of Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson.

Never fear, I'm in line behind you. I haven't seen anything she's done, but she just seems so bland. Am I missing something?

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Never fear, I'm in line behind you. I haven't seen anything she's done, but she just seems so bland. Am I missing something?

 

Seeing as how 50 Shades of Grey is literally re-appropriated Twilight fanfiction, bland is kind of the name of the game as far as the casting for the female lead goes. The whole allure to characters like Bella and Ana is that they are essentially faceless; a reader (more so than a viewer) can transpose themselves onto these characters and be a part of the story themselves. They don't have any particularly defining character traits that would polarize them from being relatable. It doesn't take an actor of any considerable range to play either character.

 

To be fair, I haven't seen her in anything (including 50 Shades) but the interviews I've seen of her leave much to be desired (though that might just be because everyone involved with this movie always looks like they'd rather be anywhere else than talking about it). I'm kind of at the point where if she's better than January Jones, I'll consider her hosting stint a success.

 

Ok, now, I promise I'll hold back the hate until 1 am on Sunday.

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I really do hope they address the awkward exchange she and her mom Melanie Griffith had on the Oscar red carpet in the monologue much like when Ben Affleck hosted after giving that acceptance speech at the Oscars where he said being married to Jennifer Garner was "work". Then Jennifer Garner showed up and she Maybe not have Melanie but having someone play her would be funny. Then have Taran as Don Johnson(Dakota's dad)

 

 

Seeing as how 50 Shades of Grey is literally re-appropriated Twilight fanfiction, bland is kind of the name of the game as far as the casting for the female lead goes. The whole allure to characters like Bella and Ana is that they are essentially faceless; a reader (more so than a viewer) can transpose themselves onto these characters and be a part of the story themselves. They don't have any particularly defining character traits that would polarize them from being relatable. It doesn't take an actor of any considerable range to play either character.

 

Which is why the casting Kristen Stewart as Bella is one of the most ironic things. You would cast her as the vampire not as the innocent human and I mean that in the nicest way. Before the Twilight movies came out I thought Stewart was one of the most unconventional, and distinct young actresses and I still think that. If you seen her in Adventureland, or Into the Wild she is actually pretty good and has a personality.

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I really do hope they address the awkward exchange she and her mom Melanie Griffith had on the Oscar red carpet in the monologue much like when Ben Affleck hosted after giving that acceptance speech at the Oscars where he said being married to Jennifer Garner was "work". Then Jennifer Garner showed up and she Maybe not have Melanie but having someone play her would be funny. Then have Taran as Don Johnson(Dakota's dad)

 

They sort of already did both of those things in her promos - they made fun of her exchange with her mom, and they had Taran being a huge fan of Miami Vice and dressing up like Don Johnson.  

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Oh that's funny. I haven't seen that one yet. I'm more excited about anything Taran might do on the show this week, than Dakota. I think the show is going to fall even more on his shoulders after Kenan leaves. I can't think of any cast members right now who are as strong as he is.

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I don't have an active dislike for Dakota (like I do for Stewart) but I think she really needs some media training, and someone to remind her to uncross her arms. In the promos she's doing that and she's been doing it in a lot of interviews. I can understand being defensive about 50 Shades (or hiding in a corner, or behind a chair, or putting a bag on your head and hoping no one realizes you're in the movie) but SNL is supposed to be FUN. Get happy already. 

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Oh that's funny. I haven't seen that one yet. I'm more excited about anything Taran might do on the show this week, than Dakota. I think the show is going to fall even more on his shoulders after Kenan leaves. I can't think of any cast members right now who are as strong as he is.

 

Kate McKinnon. Kate McKinnon. Kate McKinnon. I love Taran(especially for that video of him impersonating most of the X-Men from the 90s cartoon) but Kate's the reason I still look forward to the show now if I don't care for the host or musical guest that week.

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I don't have an active dislike for Dakota (like I do for Stewart) but I think she really needs some media training, and someone to remind her to uncross her arms. In the promos she's doing that and she's been doing it in a lot of interviews. I can understand being defensive about 50 Shades (or hiding in a corner, or behind a chair, or putting a bag on your head and hoping no one realizes you're in the movie) but SNL is supposed to be FUN. Get happy already. 

 

Oh, the arm-folding thing was driving me nuts. Not only is it a pretty bad tic (or whatever) for someone who's supposed to be an actress, but in general it's just really awful body language.

 

And yes, I am going to be nitpicky about everything.

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I hope they do either a sketch or a joke about the whole dress color thing that the internet's going insane over today. I love that people are being offended over this when the difference in perception probably has something to do with rods or cones and stuff like that.  I for one see it as blue and black, but when I showed the picture to my mom she said it was white and gold.

Edited by VCRTracking
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Do they just ignore the whole Brian Williams mess?  It's kinda old news now, but I do wonder if they would intentionally avoid it.  And how about Rudy Guiliani, who was at the Anniversary, and all the stuff that has flown out of his mouth the past couple of weeks?   Both will be interesting to see given their connections to the show.

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I remember when Melanie hosted, Don Johnson joined her onstage at the end during the credits. I have no intention of seeing "50 Shades", but I was a big "Miami Vice" fan in the 80s (still am!), and remember very well when Dakota was born, so all her SNL hosting gig does is make me feel ancient.

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There will definitely be a horrible Weekend Update joke about the dress where Colin poorly sets up the joke and Michael flubs the punchline. 

 

Lol, I was going to say that the show's handling of topical issues hasn't been super great lately, but this works too.

 

Do they just ignore the whole Brian Williams mess?  It's kinda old news now, but I do wonder if they would intentionally avoid it.  And how about Rudy Guiliani, who was at the Anniversary, and all the stuff that has flown out of his mouth the past couple of weeks?   Both will be interesting to see given their connections to the show.

 

They haven't had a new show in a month, and a lot has happened. I wonder if they'll get to this stuff as well. Brian Williams already feels like old news at this point, and so does Giuliani, at least to me. Eh, I guess we'll see.

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but based on these promos, she's acting like someone is forcing her to be there, which doesn't bode well.

 

 

Now that you mention it, Universal produces 50 Shades and is also part of NBC under Comcast, so that could  well be the case that it was an automatic booking. I would think Lorne would try to avoid those, but even he might not  have had any say in it.  They really want to promote that movie.

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Which is weird because the movie has already gotten some incredibly heavy promotion. It's on its third weekend in theaters, and while I think it has made quite a substantial amount of money, reviews have been terrible. Anyone who really wanted to see the movie has already seen it. If her hosting tonight is supposed to sway people who may have been on the fence, they're really playing with fire, especially if she's being forced to do it. If she does terribly because she doesn't want to be there (entirely possible, because everything I've heard has made it seem that working on this movie was a miserable experience, and everyone involved seems like they want to distance themselves from it all), then it's not only not going to make people want to see the movie, but it's also wasting the time of the people who work on SNL and the people who watch. Why should we have to sit through what could very possibly be a very crappy show? Why should the cast and writers have to put up with a host who very well might not want to be there? Just so that the already-loaded Universal execs can make a couple more bucks? The entertainment industry is so transparent in its quest for a profit, it would be hilarious if it wasn't so annoying.

 

I might not care as much if she wasn't there to promote such a disgusting piece of shit film, but she is, so I do. Hopefully she's just relegated to supporting/straight-woman roles all night.

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I just hope her involvement is minimal. Maybe they can put her in some strong sketches, so nothing falls fully on her shoulders. And speaking of things that need strong support to be funny, I wonder if we'll get a post-Oscars Jebidiah review for Weekend Update?

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There just seems like there's not a whole lot of there there, if you know what I mean. I'm always happy if a host surprises me, but based on these promos, she's acting like someone is forcing her to be there, which doesn't bode well.

I swear she was one step away from rolling her eyes.

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Cold Open: And we start with Giuliani, which turned into a Birdman parody. Which was awesome. And I'm always open for more Fox News bashing.

 

Monologue: Hey, this was pretty funny. And Dakota brought up when Melanie Griffith hosted! And Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson are there!

 

ISIS: Holy crap what a great twist, didn't see that coming. I was thinking "where are they going with this? What's the horrible twist?" Well, they didn't disappoint. "ISIS: We'll Take It From Here, Dad."

 

Cinderella: ...And Cathy Ann came in to ruin a Cinderella sketch. I would've liked the final twist to be Cinderella becoming Cathy Ann while Cathy Ann became beautiful at midnight.

 

Be Brave: Telling off awkward situations and celebrating. We all wish we could do this. Could this sketch be the rest of the show? I could watch it for another hour.

 

50 Shades Press Tour: Kyle Mooney as a nerd interviewing about 50 Shades. I got a feeling Andy Samberg would've pulled this off MUCH better.

 

Margo: I loved this. Hipsters with working arms are jerks.

 

WU: Of course they cover the dress. But I thought the joke (comparing a picture that has two different opinions with Obama) was pretty decent. When they mentioned Ruth Bader Ginsburg, I knew it was gonna be Kate McKinnon being awesome again. Oh man was I happy to see Riblet return to save this one.

 

Worf MD: This weird as hell sketch is dedicated to Leonard Nimoy (and then it actually was). I liked that Kenan was only cosplaying in support of his wife.

 

Net Effect: It took us this long to have a talk show sketch populated by internet stereotypes? An awkward blogger, a wannabe Instagram celeb, a self-employed CEO and a youtube commenter. Of course Net Neutrality is all about the pornos, and how fast we get the pornos. And no shock the instagramer and the youtube commenter got intoca fight over The Dress (it's blue & black in case anyone still cared).

 

Good Neighbor: Bullying awareness. Eh, wasn't too funny.

 

Next week is Chris Hemsworth & the Zac Brown Band. Hopefully it'll be better than this.

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Before helanamonster gets here, I just want to say I liked it. Favorite line-- "Harder!"

 

I'm becoming notorious in my hatred. I feel so powerful.

 

Cold Open: I haven't seen Birdman, but I thought this was a really good, clever monologue. I'm a sucker for anything that takes the sketches backstage (and I was actually just thinking recently they hadn't done that in awhile). Though I feel like they were expecting people to clap when they saw Dakota as whatever Emma Stone's character's name was, but she was hard to recognize in the blonde wig. For someone who's the lead in one of the biggest movies of the year, she's kind of forgettable. Even when I hear her name I still have a quick moment of "who?"

 

Monologue: Just want to point out that the BDSM community has denounced 50 Shades as not being anywhere near an accurate portrayal of their lifestyle.

 

ISIS: I knew exactly what commercial they were parodying, I've seen it a million times, but I wasn't quite sure what twist they would go with. This was dark as hell, but it worked.

 

Cinderella: Does this character of Cecily's (who gets a different name for every sketch she's in, I feel like) have such a strong following that they keep bringing her back? I've commented before that I think Cecily does really well with this kind of character work but the context is all wrong.

 

Brave: I thought it was dumb until Kate's "I can't poop with you in here, so GET OUT." I mean, I got it, we all have stuff we really want to say but don't because it's rude, but eh.

 

50 Shades of Grey: Hey, SNL, 1982 called, they want their portrayal of a nerd back.

 

Internship: I feel like, as a millennial, I should be offended by this. But I actually talk like this 100% unironically most of the time so I'll take it.

 

Weekend Update: God, this shit's gotten so bad I don't even cringe anymore. Stop bringing Bobby out as Riblet; it only makes me want him to replace Colin and Michael. Does the show have no idea how any of the Riblet stuff is coming off? Oh, and Kate brings me joy. Her RBG was the only thing that made me laugh out loud all night. She is the greatest.

 

Worf MD: This came off exactly like what it was; a last-minute attempt to squeeze a Star Trek sketch in due to Leonard Nimoy's passing. 

 

Net Effect: Um, ok. Leslie was good.

 

Mr. Riot Films: Not their best.

 

Kate's RBG was the only thing that saved this episode from being totally awful. Besides Alabama Shakes, they're a cool group. But I tend to keep the musical guest separate when judging the episode. However, I will say that they made the right decision by relegating Dakota to the background. Mostly because it kept my blood pressure down but also because she's dull as hell.

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I bet they show clips in the monologue from when Melanie hosted.  That's one of my favorite lost episodes.  You never see clips from it.

 

It mostly gets mentioned only for two sketches - the Sweeney Sisters in jail, and a terrific, biting sketch where Melanie Griffith wins a beauty pageant (Miss Self-Esteem) solely because the judges think she's hot, even though she can't do anything. Jan Hooks was brilliant as the OTTTTT contestant who tried to be perfect at everything and even acted out a passage from A Doll's House for her talent portion, and was outraged when Melanie won. (Victoria Jackson was also very funny as the terrified woman who only entered because of her boyfriend and couldn't do anything - she tried to do something with twirling or something for her talent portion, set to "True Colors," and when it dropped, she ran off the stage in horror).

 

I also remember a funny sketch about a copier or office or something.

Edited by Pete Martell
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It was marginally better than I expected.   The filmed pieces were really good.

 

Dakota did have one of the most awkward deliveries that I have ever seen in the monologue.  I guess  I'll give her the benefit of the doubt there and chalk it up to nerves.

 

So was the "She literally won't shut the window" sketch literally the two Girlfriend Talkshow characters aged up to adults?  I was literally confused as it was literally distracting that Cecily was literally using the same voice while literally getting her digs in at Aidy's character.  She literally could have modulated it a bit.

 

 But that gets at a bigger issue for me.  I'm worried Cecily is on the verge of going full Wiig with her characters.  They are starting to become hella annoying.

 

So Colin starts Update with "What's up?"   That's... I don't know.  Desperate?   But I did like it more this week, especially Kate as Ginsburg because Ruth Bader Ginsburg is indeed a BOSS.  "I like my men just like my decisions. 5-4."   

 

Oh yeah , I noticed the cast was hanging back in the goodnights and didn't seem eager to hug her.  I was surprised Don and Melanie were not onstage.

 

ETA-

 

 

and a terrific, biting sketch where Melanie Griffith wins a beauty pageant solely because the judges think she's hot, even though she can't do anything. Jan Hooks was brilliant as the OTTTTT contestant who tried to be perfect at everything and even acted out a passage from A Doll's House for her talent portion, and was outraged when Melanie won.

 

It's one of my all time favorite sketches.  The Miss Self-Esteem Beauty Pageant.  Haven't seen it in years, but I can still hear Jan  as Miss Georgia saying in that thick accent that she "learned a lot from books."  Magnificent. 

Edited by vb68
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Cold Open: This is probably the best cold open they've done in years. I loved how all of this unfolded. Though who played the guy in the Birdman costume? Was that Beck Bennett? Also the idea of Giuliani as the Riggan role was pretty genius too considering how Guiliani is all washed up. 

 

Monologue: I wasn't a huge fan of this. This was kind of all over the place. It was nice to see Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith there (also I loved during the Goodnights that they cut to Johnson who was doing the Vulcan Salute). 

 

ISIS Ad: This was brilliant. This was like equivalent to the whole The Usual Suspects thing where you're just waiting for the twist and you're just wondering where the twist is going to be. Then it comes and it completely surprises you. This was just hilarious and the execution was perfect. 

 

Cinderella: There were a couple of things that gave me a soft chuckle but it just felt like wasted potential. I was hoping they'd show her post transformation. 

 

Be Brave: This was also really good. I just loved how increasingly weird they got. Also I can totally relate to the toilet thing. I to cannot poop when others are in the bathroom. 

 

50 Shades Junket: Can't really get behind this. I just feel like this could've been executed in writing far better. I'm thinking this was one of those that sounded hilarious at reading but then just fell flat when executed. Though for a second, I seriously thought we'd be seeing Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig come out as those Hollywood duo who's name I cannot recall. I'm so glad it wasn't. 

 

Margo: This made me laugh because this perfectly encapsulates everything about the Tumblrdom with their overly narcissistic self-absorbed personalities who think everything revolves around them. But maybe I'm being really redundant there when describing them. Anyways, this made me laugh a bit. It was pretty good. I like that Margo literally couldn't do what they wanted.

 

Weekend Update: Man Weekend Update has bad jokes sometimes but man were some of the jokes just downright awful this week. After hearing Colin Jost say that he is trying to mimic Norm, it makes more sense but (as much as I disliked Norm) Norm at least could sell his jokes.  Jost cannot. McKinnon as Ginsberg was funny but I keep thinking how Ginsberg would've gone completely wrong in the hands of other cast members or former cast members. McKinnon really seems to know how to reel it in just enough. I feel like she needs to step it up and show that she can be the ace of this cast. Kanye was Kanye but I did like how he apologized to Michael Keaton for not voting for me (man, the SNL cast really wanted Keaton to win, huh?) It was also great to see Riblet. Riblet is the type of character I love where they come off as completely incompetent and a real pain in the ass but yet they then show how immensely competent they are at what they do. Also the gag at the end with the Fed Ex guy and the mike was fantastic. Great guests, bad newsreading. Riblet for Update!

 

Worf MD: I'm 99% convinced they wrote this sketch on Friday night and haphazardly threw it together. The thing is that I really love the idea of someone coming in during an emergency while fully in cosplay. And the idea of them trying to assess that they're only in costume over and over again and even the thought of people getting his character wrong and him trying to correct them? I love that idea. However, this sketch just was all over the place. Suddenly it was because he was trying to be close to his wife (which wasn't that bad) then it was him trying to act like he knew about Star Trek and then it was suddenly a preview for an upcoming TV show. They just could not make up their minds with what they wanted to do with this sketch. Seeing them pay a small tribute to Nimoy was really sweet. 

 

Net Effect: I really liked this sketch. Also, Bobby was technically right when he exploded about how it's about porno and how fast they can get their porno. That made me chuckle. Also Dakota saying "Harder!" was pretty funny too along with Leslie saying "Yeah, you better think about that one" (in so many words). Also, I disagree with both Leslie and Pete in that sketch -- it was blue and gold!I have a feeling that this is going to become a recurring sketch. 

 

Good Neighbor: This was kind of interesting in a weird way. The social experiment stuff was amusing just how badly they portrayed it all like Kyle dressed as a woman but making absolutely no effort other than the wig and the dress or the "dog" one. I did like that one lady stopped by and fed the not dog. That was pretty amusing. Not their best by any means but it was at least entertaining enough. 

 

All in all, this show was actually...good? I can't figure out why exactly. I feel like they took some damn good notes during the 40th anniversary special about how to improve and really took it to heart. It was ambitious, it took chances, and when things landed, they REALLY landed. And Dakota Johnson actually wasn't that bad. I thought she'd be much worse especially after that monologue which her nervousness made me cringe hard. And also the Alabama Shakes are awesome. 

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I didn't like this episode.  Maybe it was my mood but I only had a few chuckles and I usually have more than that.  And I didn't think it was Dakota Johnson's fault either.  She had some of her textbook awkward delivery in places but there were other times when she was quite good, especially in the filmed pieces.  I think my major issue was that it felt like a lot of good ideas that were never fully realized. 

 

For instance:

Be Brave:  I loved the concept of this but there were only one or two examples that really hit the mark such as Kate's "you need to leave so I can poop" moment.  (Although some of the earlier anti-social tendencies expressed represented my thoughts, I didn't necessarily find them funny.)

 

Weekend Update:  When I started watching the show, this was my favorite segment. I can't believe how far it has fallen with these two at the helm.  I did love Kate McKinnon's RBG but the whole rhythm felt very much like a segment Seth Meyers does on his show called "ya burnt!" 

 

Worf MD:  Again, I didn't feel like this completely worked, although it was a nice tribute to Leonard Nimoy.  And I did like how the cast couldn't quite hold it together.  Dakota was smiling.  Keenan was smiling.  Taran even smiled after his character "died."

 

Net Effect:  This was my favorite bit of the night.  Dakota's "harder" and Leslie's "think about it" and her talk about how no one mistakes her for gold were all gold. 

 

I am a bit surprised Dakota's parents weren't on stage at the end of even thanked. I thought every guest, no matter how small the part, got their thanks at the end of the night. 

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In the "good-bye to dad/daughter" sketch, I was 100% expecting that Dakota's character was going to get run over and killed in the parking lot as she walked away from the car. Didn't see the ISIS twist coming at all.

 

I have not read 50 Shades, nor seen the movie , so my impressions about Dakota Johnson come solely from "Ben and Kate" -- and I loved that show and her character on it. I think she can be a little dewy-eyed sometimes, but she seems willing to take risks, and I like that. I thought this episode came off OK-- not the best, but certainly not the worst show they've done.

 

I did feel like it was somehow whiter than usual, for some reason. I didn't actually tally up who appeared how many times, but it just felt that way somehow. It's weird to say. I know they have the same cast every week, so I don't know why I thought that.

 

I like Alabama Shakes. I think they're the first SNL musical act I've not fast forwarded in a while.

 

ETA: WU is a lost cause. Did they think it would drum up sympathy for Michael and Colin to have Riblet appear again and mock them for how hard they found the job to be? Because it didn't work. I even thought it was incredibly rude and obnoxious for Michael to tell Riblet that Riblet's job meant Riblet didn't work hard. Anyone ever work in a restaurant? It's exhausting. Anyway, all they did was sell me even harder on how hopeless the Jost-Che WU is, and make me even more annoyed that what used to be the most reliably funny part of the show is now almost as FF-worthy as the worst of the dud run of musical acts who didn't even do proper sound checks.

Edited by possibilities
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(edited)

Dakota yelling "Harder!" after getting slapped in the internet sketch and blowing hair out of her face was my favorite moment of the night.

 

Nice tribute to Leonard Nimoy after the weird Dr. Worf  sketch.

 

I thought that the ISIS commercial worked best for me with both the setup and the punchline. I expected it would offend some people would be offended but man they are really pissed.  I got that the joke was that there were young Americans who were suddenly running off to join ISIS. SNL was making fun of Bin Laden after 9/11 but now it's suddenly in poor taste to make a joke about ISIS?

 

The dress has always looked blue and black to me.

 

 

If she does terribly because she doesn't want to be there (entirely possible, because everything I've heard has made it seem that working on this movie was a miserable experience, and everyone involved seems like they want to distance themselves from it all)

Hosting SNL is not like having to do a press junket for a movie you may or may not like. SNL is beyond whatever movie you're plugging. Hosting can be both scary, and thrilling and exciting experience, especially for a young actor. I think she actually did a pretty good job in the sketches, seemed very natural(and as I said nailed the "Harder" line) but like what's been the case this season, the writing has failed her, just as it did Chris Pratt, and Amy Adams, two people who are known to be funny.

 

(Also I'm just now realizing that Dakota looked like Helena Monster's profile photo in that internet sketch.).

Edited by VCRTracking
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Jost is trying to mimic Norm??? I heard 100% Seth in the his jokes that landed.

 

For some reason, I didn't hate this. I thought it needed to be punched up a bit, it seems everyone is pausing too much in between lines. Enjoyed the Net Neutrality sketch. Best part of Be Brave was Kate's not being able to poop with someone in the restroom. So true, I had to explain to my husband that this is a thing.

 

Where is Beck? They couldn't have put him in anything else other than the filmed bits? Even if that was him in the Giuliani sketch, it wasn't very much.

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I didn't mind Riblet, but I have to admit, I would have rather heard more about the haunted mansion in Staten Island story that he interrupted. That sounds awesome.

 

As usual, the problem was the writing. I thought Dakota was fine with what they gave her, but not even the best, most veteran host could do much with the quality of writing here. It wasn't terrible, and there have certainly been worse shows this season. It was just...fine. Mildly pleasant, not particularly funny but also not terrible. Just kind of meh. Kate's pooping bit in the Brave video is the only time in the show I actually laughed.

 

As someone who also saw the dress as white-and-gold, I was oddly disappointed/weirded out that Jost saw it that way. I'd rather not have anything in common with that guy.

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