Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[Bastet]

6 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

When I was still in CA my friends knew if I am out of the house, I'd stay out, but if I'm not out of the house by 7:30 or 8 pm I'm not going anywhere.

Yeah, in my youth I'd happily head out at 10 pm, but now if it gets to be 8:00 and I haven't left yet, I'm not going to want to; the couch and the cat are going to look way too inviting.  But once I do leave, if I don't get overwhelmed (see below), I'll be good to go until 2 or 3 in the morning if it winds up being one of those nights.

6 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

I prefer intimate gatherings to large parties

I always did, and I doubt I could even handle a large party now (just on getting overwhelmed amidst a lot of people principle, not due to COVID concerns -- a large party in which everyone tested negative would probably be too much for me, as it seems I can tolerate fewer people at a time with each year that passes).

[PRgal]

When my husband and I first started going out, we could decide to meet last minute at 9 pm!  Once, he called me around 9 and asked if I wanted to meet him downstairs because he was "just in the neighbourhood."  We hit a coffee shop and then came back to watch a movie.  He didn't stay the night, but left around 1 am.  LOL.  We were probably 26 at the time.  We're 43 now.

Edited May 1, 2023 by PRgal

[TattleTeeny]

After I get done with this stupid fucking fracture and walking boot (and crutches, which I can't seem to master), I swear, I will leave this house at midnight on a workday if I get an invitation. Maybe even if I don't!

Peeve: the liner of the stupid boot can only be air dried after washing. What the hell am I supposed to do in the meantime if I am supposed to have the boot on? Had I realized it would be SIX MONTHS with it, I'd have ordered some extra liners. 

[PRgal]

Another peeve:  people telling me (and others like me) that I shouldn’t have any peeves or complain about anything because I’m “lucky” - I have a loving husband, a child with just “regular” kid issues (no special needs, healthy, eats relatively well for his age (though he told me this morning that he was tired of his cereal and wanted something with a different shape)), have enough to buy decent groceries, etc.  Even my own health-related issues aren’t as bad as others.  Nor was my upbringing as a child of immigrants (I read about cultural and generational trauma a lot and my experiences don’t even come close to the examples I read about which usually cite explicit racism and/or language and communication challenges with parents.  Or growing up in poverty).  

[nokat]

2 minutes ago, PRgal said:

Another peeve:  people telling me (and others like me) that I shouldn’t have any peeves or complain about anything because I’m “lucky”

I may feel others are lucky, but I certainly wouldn't tell someone they shouldn't have any peeves or complaints.  We all have good and bad in our lives.

It seems you don't pay too much attention to these people who criticize you. Enjoy the great things in your life, a lot of which was your doing, right? You chose a great husband, and are raising a wonderful child. You're the only one who has your life and your experiences, and sometimes a good moan about something is needed.

[PRgal]

18 minutes ago, nokat said:

I may feel others are lucky, but I certainly wouldn't tell someone they shouldn't have any peeves or complaints.  We all have good and bad in our lives.

It seems you don't pay too much attention to these people who criticize you. Enjoy the great things in your life, a lot of which was your doing, right? You chose a great husband, and are raising a wonderful child. You're the only one who has your life and your experiences, and sometimes a good moan about something is needed.

It's not just me people are criticizing.  It's people in general who they see are more "privileged."  It can be such an ugly term, "privileged."  It's as if that person (or group of people) doesn't deserve to complain about something/anything because of how they were raised/who they are.

[Bookworm 1979]

52 minutes ago, PRgal said:

Another peeve:  people telling me (and others like me) that I shouldn’t have any peeves or complain about anything because I’m “lucky”

This annoys me, too!  Really, if we go by this logic no one can ever be sad or angry about anything because someone will always have it worse. I always tell people if they feel upset about something, even if they feel like it's stupid, they're allowed to be upset.  Their feelings are valid.

I hate toxic positivity.

[annzeepark914]

1 hour ago, PRgal said:

It's not just me people are criticizing.  It's people in general who they see are more "privileged."  It can be such an ugly term, "privileged."  It's as if that person (or group of people) doesn't deserve to complain about something/anything because of how they were raised/who they are.

There seems to be a lot of resentment, envy, criticism going around these days (*especially* in the US). I just remembered something interesting. Several decades ago I was playing the Ouija board with a friend. I was job hunting, couldn't find a nice guy to date, and I asked the Ouija where were the good things in life for me. Ouija spelled out: You make your own joy.

[TattleTeeny]

Part of my complaint is that I am -- have been for a long time -- TRYING to make my own joy and it keeps getting screwed up by metatarsals and asshole neighbors and layoffs (although this last one may have been a blessing in disguise, outside of the loss of health insurance while having a broken foot).

[annzeepark914]

24 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

Part of my complaint is that I am -- have been for a long time -- TRYING to make my own joy and it keeps getting screwed up by metatarsals and asshole neighbors and layoffs (although this last one may have been a blessing in disguise, outside of the loss of health insurance while having a broken foot).

That sounds like a lotta crap tossed your way. Foot problems are The Worst. We need our feet, take them for granted until they have issues. I hope it heals well, and sooner than expected 🤞🍀.

[TattleTeeny]

Thank you! Seriously, I have been thinking often about how crutches (and these stupid-ass air casts) could be better, and that ordinary showers should just always have some kind of sitting option. Ugly, stylish, cheap, fancy, whatever, but just have it there as a given! I would bet that the majority of foot/leg/ankle injuries are surprises; it would be nice if the shower hurdle was actually not a hurdle that had to be navigated suddenly. 

[nokat]

48 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

Thank you! Seriously, I have been thinking often about how crutches (and these stupid-ass air casts) could be better, and that ordinary showers should just always have some kind of sitting option. Ugly, stylish, cheap, fancy, whatever, but just have it there as a given! I would bet that the majority of foot/leg/ankle injuries are surprises; it would be nice if the shower hurdle was actually not a hurdle that had to be navigated suddenly. 

I have a shower chair, but I doubt it would fit in a tub shower. It is so nice to feel safe in the shower now. I've seen showers with the seats built in, but those are step in showers.

Plus I've had my own leg problems, but nothing like yours. I feel bad complaining about wearing a brace and difficulty getting up and down stairs, because I can get about and shower.

[TattleTeeny]

I've pretty much gotten used to the shower with the little bench thing that I borrowed (from my friend's mom, yikes). But if I may bitch even more, our downstairs shower is subpar! I'm debating scooting up the stairs on my ass once a day and then crawling down the hallway to the better shower. Is that nuts? Or is it more trying to make my own joy?

Edited May 3, 2023 by TattleTeeny

[Bastet]

3 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

and that ordinary showers should just always have some kind of sitting option. Ugly, stylish, cheap, fancy, whatever, but just have it there as a given! I would bet that the majority of foot/leg/ankle injuries are surprises; it would be nice if the shower hurdle was actually not a hurdle that had to be navigated suddenly. 

Yeah, the shower bench my parents bought when my mom had her first knee replacement surgery has since been passed around to so many people I have lost track -- at their age, they know a lot of people who also had some sort of replacement surgery, who fell and broke something, etc., but it's not just the elderly who've found themselves in need of one, especially unexpectedly and immediately.

[BlueSkies]

People that always feel they need to get the last word in.  Especially when you are forced to interface with them 

[Anela]

19 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

Part of my complaint is that I am -- have been for a long time -- TRYING to make my own joy and it keeps getting screwed up by metatarsals and asshole neighbors and layoffs (although this last one may have been a blessing in disguise, outside of the loss of health insurance while having a broken foot).

Same. The hits keep coming. 

[BlueSkies]

Two people that are driving/ drove me nuts today:

 

One guy that treats sports fandom like life or death.  And is not open to hearing other viewpoints.

 

 

2nd guy:  I went to the barber today.  I sit down and decide to hang my coat up.  In walks this guy and proceeds to sit right in my seat.  Which okay maybe he didnt see me or what not and I give him the benefit of the doubt.  Then when a barber frees up this jerk walks right in front of me to the chair!!!

 

 

Now I mean its ultimately just little stuff but these things you know can build on a man not saying something or come out in bad places in outbursts.  Especially when I'm tired and stressed out after grinding it out day by day 

Edited May 5, 2023 by BlueSkies

[annzeepark914]

@BlueSkies So, you didn't speak up? 

[BlueSkies]

22 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

@BlueSkies So, you didn't speak up? 

I didnt.  It was late in the day and I was already tired as is.  Even something as simple as that feels like it requires an absolute tremendous amount of energy.

 

Bear in mind I have/get treated for social anxiety as well 

Edited May 5, 2023 by BlueSkies

[annzeepark914]

23 minutes ago, BlueSkies said:

I didnt.  It was late in the day and I was already tired as is.  Even something as simple as that feels like it requires an absolute tremendous amount of energy.

 

Bear in mind I have/get treated for social anxiety as well 

One has to be in the right frame of mind to say something in situations like this. I know I need to have a volcanic eruption first 😡☺️.

[RealHousewife]

Clear bags for concerts. I get the safety protocol, but even if it's normal and natural and blah blah, I don't want everyone to see that I have tampons in my purse.

[Bastet]

1 hour ago, RealHousewife said:

I don't want everyone to see that I have tampons in my purse.

I'm not judging, just curious -- are you equally embarrassed by people seeing other hygiene products in your purse, or just those specific to menstruation?

[RealHousewife]

8 hours ago, Bastet said:

I'm not judging, just curious -- are you equally embarrassed by people seeing other hygiene products in your purse, or just those specific to menstruation?

I get embarrassed easily because I was raised to not talk about bodily functions. I guess anything bathroom-related embarrasses me, but I’m okay with people seeing that I have stuff like hand sanitizer or lotion. 

[Quof]

17 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

I was raised to not talk about bodily functions

No one wants to hear about the substances that come out of any of your orifices. None of them are pleasant.

[Bethany]

18 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

I get embarrassed easily because I was raised to not talk about bodily functions. I guess anything bathroom-related embarrasses me, but I’m okay with people seeing that I have stuff like hand sanitizer or lotion. 

In my mother's last years she needed products for incontinence.  I admit it, I was embarrassed buying these items.  I always wanted to say "these aren't for me" at the cash. Of course I didn't and I imagine no one ever noticed or cared.  

[KittyMom4]

34 minutes ago, Quof said:

No one wants to hear about the substances that come out of any of your orifices. None of them are pleasant

This is true but I've never understood why menstruation had to be a secret. Along with other ways the body rids itself of non-useful things, a period is the body shedding an unused uterine lining. We women have had to deal with the cramping, headaches, bloating, hormonal imbalances in secret and it was implied we had to suffer. As someone in menopause now and dealing with weight gain, hot flashes and night sweats, and having my female gyn tell me to "take some advil" makes me extremely peeved. 

Sorry for the rant, again, hormones....

[Wiendish Fitch]

I find it interesting that men are embarrassed by the very idea of periods, but they will have animated, hours-long discussions about farting and shitting. The men in my family will all but whimper and huddle in a corner if you so much as say "tampon".

Or Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret?

[Bethany]

I always find it annoying on sitcoms like Big Bang Theory that these supposedly well educated, high IQ guys gets all squirmy and embarrassed whenever the subject of a woman having a period comes up.  Not to mention the way a woman having cramps or PMS is fricking hilarious.  Ugh.

[PRgal]

23 minutes ago, Wiendish Fitch said:

 

Or Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret?

I NEED to see that movie! 

 

Peeve (hope this is appropriate...and I think I mentioned this in an earlier post):  People forgetting that multi-ethnic/multi-heritage people exist.  My son recently had language assignment where he was supposed to translate three words from another language, perhaps one from his own family background (the class studied Egypt and talked about the Rosetta Stone) to English.  The teacher herself used Scots Gaelic and English.  Well, my son is multi-ethnic/multi-heritage.  Good thing it was three words.  We ended up using Chinese and Hebrew (would have added Yiddish).  He isn't the only multi-heritage child in the class...or the school (I get that a lot of the kids in his class are children of immigrant parents who are married to people of the same/similar background, but still)!  I can't believe this is still something people forget, considering most teachers now are Gen X or Millennials.  It was a thing people debated when WE were young, too!  

Edited May 5, 2023 by PRgal

[Spartan Girl]

2 hours ago, Wiendish Fitch said:

I find it interesting that men are embarrassed by the very idea of periods, but they will have animated, hours-long discussions about farting and shitting. The men in my family will all but whimper and huddle in a corner if you so much as say "tampon".

Or Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret?

Say the word “period” and my dad just moans. What IS it with men?

[Wiendish Fitch]

22 minutes ago, Spartan Girl said:

Say the word “period” and my dad just moans. What IS it with men?

[RealHousewife]

I really appreciate all the men who see periods as no big deal and will get their partners/daughters whatever products they need. 

[peacheslatour]

3 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

I really appreciate all the men who see periods as no big deal and will get their partners/daughters whatever products they need. 

My son and husband have no problem picking up that kind of stuff. My DIL was amazed by that 

Funny story. When I was in jr. high/high school, if you wanted to get out of class and you had a male teacher, all you had to do was go up to him and say the magic words "Mr. Sexist-Jackass, I have cramps can I..." Mr. Sexist-Jackass "Yes, yes, just go!"

[RealHousewife]

13 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

My son and husband have no problem picking up that kind of stuff. My DIL was amazed by that 

Funny story. When I was in jr. high/high school, if you wanted to get out of class and you had a male teacher, all you had to do was go up to him and say the magic words "Mr. Sexist-Jackass, I have cramps can I..." Mr. Sexist-Jackass "Yes, yes, just go!"

That sounds like my coworker and his daughter. She’ll bring up that she’s on her period and needs money to get stuff.  “Take whatever you want!”

[JTMacc99]

My teenage daughter, who lives with me full time, will NOT ask me to get her any feminine products. She insists on going directly to mom when she needs supplies. 

On the other hand, expensive hair care products? "Dad, can you take me to Ulta?"

[supposebly]

3 hours ago, PRgal said:

I can't believe this is still something people forget, considering most teachers now are Gen X or Millennials.

Especially in Toronto! Where almost everyone is multi-something.

[kristen111]

3 hours ago, Elizabeth Anne said:

I always find it annoying on sitcoms like Big Bang Theory that these supposedly well educated, high IQ guys gets all squirmy and embarrassed whenever the subject of a woman having a period comes up.  Not to mention the way a woman having cramps or PMS is fricking hilarious.  Ugh.

Speaking of, after many, many years of having no period, I still get PMS.  Everyone laughs, but let them laugh.  I know my body.  Like a clock, every month on a certain date, I get aches and pains, tired, clumsey and cramps for almost a week.  It’s not in my mind .. it’s real.   I actually have that annoying sick feeling.

Edited May 5, 2023 by kristen111

[nokat]

1 minute ago, kristen111 said:

Speaking of, after many, many years of having no period, I still get PMS.  Everyone laughs, but let them laugh.  I know my body.  Like a clock, every month on a certain date, I get aches and pains, tired, clumsey and cramps for almost a week.  It’s not in my mind .. it’s real.

I think I am having PMS every day, if those are the symptoms.  I blame it all on age.

[RealHousewife]

9 minutes ago, JTMacc99 said:

My teenage daughter, who lives with me full time, will NOT ask me to get her any feminine products. She insists on going directly to mom when she needs supplies. 

On the other hand, expensive hair care products? "Dad, can you take me to Ulta?"

Lol too funny. I think anything period, bra, or sex related, most girls feel more comfortable with mom, especially when they’re still very young.

[roseha]

I never thought I'd talk about this online but:

I had terrible cramps for decades and then when it came to Menopause? Not a single hot flash or night sweat or cramp or anything. My tentative theory is that I stopped eating meat most of the time but who knows.

[kristen111]

1 minute ago, nokat said:

I think I am having PMS every day, if those are the symptoms.  I blame it all on age.

Getting old sucks.  For the first time in my life, I love my sofa and tv.  Getting ready to go out is exhausting sometimes.  Thank God I have an understanding husband.

[RealHousewife]

3 minutes ago, roseha said:

I never thought I'd talk about this online but:

I had terrible cramps for decades and then when it came to Menopause? Not a single hot flash or night sweat or cramp or anything. My tentative theory is that I stopped eating meat most of the time but who knows.

I only get bad cramps occasionally, and I eat zero meat. My sister gets terrible cramps, and she is a meat-eater. I figured that was coincidental before, but maybe not. 

[kristen111]

7 minutes ago, roseha said:

I never thought I'd talk about this online but:

I had terrible cramps for decades and then when it came to Menopause? Not a single hot flash or night sweat or cramp or anything. My tentative theory is that I stopped eating meat most of the time but who knows.

Really?  Hmmm.  I also never had hot flashes or night sweats.  Just PMS every month.  Also more headaches.

10 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

I only get bad cramps occasionally, and I eat zero meat. My sister gets terrible cramps, and she is a meat-eater. I figured that was coincidental before, but maybe not. 

So, you get your protein from eggs, and what else?

[theredhead77]

15 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

So, you get your protein from eggs, and what else?

I'm not speaking for RH here. So many foods contain protein and it's pretty easy to consume necessary amounts without eating meat or animal products.

Here are two short lists - one for vegetarian and one for vegan diets.

https://www.eatingwell.com/article/289961/top-vegetarian-protein-sources/

 

https://www.eatingwell.com/article/291111/the-10-best-vegan-protein-sources/

Edited May 5, 2023 by theredhead77

[PRgal]

42 minutes ago, supposebly said:

Especially in Toronto! Where almost everyone is multi-something.

I don’t think too many of the kids in his class are multi-ethnic.  Half the class (or almost half) has immigrant parents (as in immigrants who came as adults/late teens) and speak Mandarin at home.  The kids are multicultural themselves since they were either born here or came babies, so by nature, they’re exposed to a Canadian education, but I think a lot of things are new to the parents.  The style of education/how kids were taught in 1990s/early 00s China was probably very different than here.  But still, the teacher should have been more aware. 

Edited May 5, 2023 by PRgal

[SuprSuprElevated]

19 hours ago, BlueSkies said:

Now I mean its ultimately just little stuff but these things you know can build on a man not saying something or come out in bad places in outbursts.  Especially when I'm tired and stressed out after grinding it out day by day

Understands

 

 

[TattleTeeny]

41 minutes ago, roseha said:

I never thought I'd talk about this online but:

I had terrible cramps for decades and then when it came to Menopause? Not a single hot flash or night sweat or cramp or anything. My tentative theory is that I stopped eating meat most of the time but who knows.

Same. I had a few random and mild hot flashes that didn't cause me the discomfort that I have heard many women have (and I haven't eaten meat or animal-derived food in years and years -- and I have read that it's actually fairly uncommon to NOT get enough protein regardless of diet).

Edited May 5, 2023 by TattleTeeny

[peacheslatour]

3 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

Same. I had a few random and mild hot flashes that didn't cause me the discomfort that I have heard many women have (and I haven't eaten meat or animal-derived food in years and years).

Hell, I went through menopause ten years ago and I got hot flashes, night sweats, weird mood swings and mental fogginess. And here I am, ten years later and I still get hot flashes. WTH?

[TattleTeeny]

Maybe I got all that and didn't notice! In the last few months, I have 

• had COVID with no symptoms; I felt fine other than being super-annoyed.
• 2 metatarsal fractures with no pain (at least not after the initial discomfort that caused me to go to the doctor). More annoyance, yes -- tons of it.
• been diagnosed with underactive thyroid and have no symptoms of that either!

Am I just some non-symptom-noticing medical mystery?! 

ETA: I did sometimes feel a little sweaty in the middle of the night, but my BF is a damn furnace sometimes, so who knows? Still, it was never unbearable or anything.

 

Edited May 5, 2023 by TattleTeeny

[rcc]

Dr told me stop caffeine and without it no more hot flashes. Never had night sweats.