Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[DeLurker]

My brother set up a phone number through Google Voice (it is free).  I'm not sure how it works but I assume it is linked to a gmail account and you can text, call or get voicemail through it.

He has it linked to one of his everyday gmail accounts (he's got several - one for family, one for work, one for hiking cult, ...).  Setting up a transactional email and voice account might work to give you another layer of protection.

[theredhead77]

I won't sell on Craigslist. These are just through my community page. I'm making up a flyer and will be hanging it up at my complex mailbox this week.

[riley702]

Yeah, you always hear the horror stories about Craigslist... usually on the crime channels.

[2727]

It seems like buyer ghosting is a competitive sport to some folks.

Okay, airline seat reclining. I honestly had no idea it was seen as rude until a flight attendant once scolded me because a woman with a baby was sitting behind me. (It was a long international flight and the other passenger made her displeasure known by kicking the back of my seat every few seconds.)

The thing that really galls me is that if airlines don't want passengers to recline, they fucking shouldn't offer it as an option.

I rarely fly these days but if forced, I pay whatever the hell it costs to upgrade to first class.

[Katy M]

6 minutes ago, 2727 said:

It seems like buyer ghosting is a competitive sport to some folks.

Okay, airline seat reclining. I honestly had no idea it was seen as rude until a flight attendant once scolded me because a woman with a baby was sitting behind me. (It was a long international flight and the other passenger made her displeasure known by kicking the back of my seat every few seconds.)

The thing that really galls me is that if airlines don't want passengers to recline, they fucking shouldn't offer it as an option.

I rarely fly these days but if forced, I pay whatever the hell it costs to upgrade to first class.

I think you're only supposed to recline at nighttime.  On like overnight flights.  I remember one time I was on a flight (not overnight).  The person in front of me reclined all the way, so I reclined because I felt like he was pretty much in my lap. The person behind me asked me if could put my seat backup.  So, I did and felt like I had someone sleeping in my lap for the rest of my flight.

[bmasters9]

3 hours ago, Katy M said:

I think you're only supposed to recline at nighttime.  On like overnight flights.  I remember one time I was on a flight (not overnight).  The person in front of me reclined all the way, so I reclined because I felt like he was pretty much in my lap. The person behind me asked me if could put my seat backup.  So, I did and felt like I had someone sleeping in my lap for the rest of my flight.

Unconscionable (that person behind you forcing you back into the person reclining in front of you, which is how I'm reading this)!

[Sun-Bun]

I used to genuinely enjoy flying. I’d get dressed up, often made a point to be friendly and chat with passengers beside me if they seemed like they wanted to talk, didn’t recline unless it was a night flight. Loved all the complimentary treats and the adorable little in-flight meals.

 

Nowadays though, man, flying is such a goddamned bitch. 

 

Constantly cramped, overcrowded flights. Luggage fees. Longassed security checks. No more free in-flight snacks or meals.

 

And then there’s the rude and/or loud, entitled fellow passengers—-if you ever go to the “Passenger Shaming” Instagram account, you’ll get a harsh reminder of just how much we as a society have devolved, especially while flying. How anyone can actually believe that it’s perfectly acceptable to trash their seating area with everything from old food to dirty diapers or prop up one’s bare feet on seat trays and other passengers’ arm rests is just beyond me!

 

Speaking of dirty diapers, I’m the asshole who groans the minute I see a parent dragging a baby and/or toddler onto my flight. Because 9 times out of 10, that thing is gonna start squawking while the parent either does that useless, annoying “shhhh-shhhhh” routine or just completely ignores the squawking.

 

Just last year I was on a flight with my husband and we had some tantrum-throwing three-year-old right behind us who didn’t shut up for the entire three hour flight. Damned beast sounded like he was possessed by a pack of demons, kept kicking my seat and even tossed his nasty pacifier over the seats and it landed in my husband’s lap. You think that parent did anything? All I heard was the endless “shhhhh....shhhhhhhh...” sounds that were about as annoying as his satanic shrieks. A low dose of Robitusum beforehand would’ve kept little Lucifer blessedly quiet.

 

And why are so many parents dragging their babies on flights these days anyway? I get it that families are more mobile these days, but it’s like every goddamned flight I’m on now there’s a shrieking baby or three whereas I used to hardly ever see babies on planes—-flying is stressful enough without adding a fussy baby to the equation.

If you gotta drag your baby/kid on a flight and you know it’s likely gonna scream, how about giving him/her some kind of safe medication to calm him/her down? I recently saw video footage of that kid who loudly screamed non-stop on an 8 hour international flight—-by the sound of it, that kid was likely on the spectrum. Why in the fuck would you not do that kid and fellow passengers a favor and give it some kind of calming meds beforehand?! That kind of thoughtless parental entitlement is probably my number one complaint about flying these days.

[PRgal]

19 minutes ago, Sun-Bun said:

I used to genuinely enjoy flying. I’d get dressed up, often made a point to be friendly and chat with passengers beside me if they seemed like they wanted to talk, didn’t recline unless it was a night flight. Loved all the complimentary treats and the adorable little in-flight meals.

 

Nowadays though, man, flying is such a goddamned bitch. 

 

Constantly cramped, overcrowded flights. Luggage fees. Longassed security checks. No more free in-flight snacks or meals.

 

And then there’s the rude and/or loud, entitled fellow passengers—-if you ever go to the “Passenger Shaming” Instagram account, you’ll get a harsh reminder of just how much we as a society have devolved, especially while flying. How anyone can actually believe that it’s perfectly acceptable to trash their seating area with everything from old food to dirty diapers or prop up one’s bare feet on seat trays and other passengers’ arm rests is just beyond me!

 

Speaking of dirty diapers, I’m the asshole who groans the minute I see a parent dragging a baby and/or toddler onto my flight. Because 9 times out of 10, that thing is gonna start squawking while the parent either does that useless, annoying “shhhh-shhhhh” routine or just completely ignores the squawking.

 

Just last year I was on a flight with my husband and we had some tantrum-throwing three-year-old right behind us who didn’t shut up for the entire three hour flight. Damned beast sounded like he was possessed by a pack of demons, kept kicking my seat and even tossed his nasty pacifier over the seats and it landed in my husband’s lap. You think that parent did anything? All I heard was the endless “shhhhh....shhhhhhhh...” sounds that were about as annoying as his satanic shrieks. A low dose of Robitusum beforehand would’ve kept little Lucifer blessedly quiet.

 

And why are so many parents dragging their babies on flights these days anyway? I get it that families are more mobile these days, but it’s like every goddamned flight I’m on now there’s a shrieking baby or three whereas I used to hardly ever see babies on planes—-flying is stressful enough without adding a fussy baby to the equation.

If you gotta drag your baby/kid on a flight and you know it’s likely gonna scream, how about giving him/her some kind of safe medication to calm him/her down? I recently saw video footage of that kid who loudly screamed non-stop on an 8 hour international flight—-by the sound of it, that kid was likely on the spectrum. Why in the fuck would you not do that kid and fellow passengers a favor and give it some kind of calming meds beforehand?! That kind of thoughtless parental entitlement is probably my number one complaint about flying these days.

While I'm unsure whether I'd travel with kids while they're still very young, I am COMPLETELY AGAINST sedating children while they're flying.  It just doesn't seem appropriate, cruel, even.  Flying is never comfortable - not even for adults, but you also cannot control how people, regardless of age, behave.  There can be many different reasons why kids are flying.  Perhaps their parents are immigrants, without family in their new country.  There could be some customs/milestone celebrations.  What are they supposed to do, fly the entire family over?  Of course they'll go back for a visit.  And then there are international adoptions.  These kids have already been institutionalized - some for a few years - and are going "home" with adults they barely know.  How do you THINK they're going to behave, considering the possible trauma they've been through (adopted kids often have attachment issues)?  I'm sorry, but I just can't.  And I'm really shocked you even considered suggesting this. :( 

[Bastet]

I still enjoy flying, but I fly first class - that isn't what it used to be, no, but still - either not cramped or not bad (depending on the aircraft), no luggage fees, food and drinks are included, and there's separate check-in and, at most airports, separate security checkpoints, so the lines aren't bad.  It's not as nice as it used to be, but I'm still spared most of the things people complain about when they complain about air travel.

I don't get the increase in babies/toddlers on planes, either.  They're too young to understand the situation and thus be expected to behave, and you certainly can't get up and take the kid outside when it starts fussing, so why put the kid, yourself, and your fellow passengers through the inevitable disturbance unless it's absolutely necessary?  Is every one of these parents truly going someplace they a) must travel to b) with their child c) by plane?  Hell, no.

[PRgal]

27 minutes ago, Bastet said:

I still enjoy flying, but I fly first class - that isn't what it used to be, no, but still - either not cramped or not bad (depending on the aircraft), no luggage fees, food and drinks are included, and there's separate check-in and, at most airports, separate security checkpoints, so the lines aren't bad.  It's not as nice as it used to be, but I'm still spared most of the things people complain about when they complain about air travel.

I don't get the increase in babies/toddlers on planes, either.  They're too young to understand the situation and thus be expected to behave, and you certainly can't get up and take the kid outside when it starts fussing, so why put the kid, yourself, and your fellow passengers through the inevitable disturbance unless it's absolutely necessary?  Is every one of these parents truly going someplace they a) must travel to b) with their child c) by plane?  Hell, no.

Some people want to expose their children to other cultures early.  I'm not sure a five month old can REALLY appreciate fine French (or Italian or German or Chinese) culture though.  I DO know that if my ENTIRE FAMILY lived in China, I would probably fly over for the baby's one month (or 100 Day, which is more common these days) presentation. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

22 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

I get it. Buying and selling stuff online is a huge PITA.

It's just one more example of how the internet has been ruined. 

When Mr. Outlier and I separately got rid of everything that wouldn't fit in the RV, it was in 2003.  We each made a website with all the stuff we were getting rid of, with photos and descriptions and prices, and put a notice on the local .forsale usenet group and had fabulous success.  Pretty much zero haggling, really easy meet-ups (usually came to our houses and were always on time), only one person who said, "Yes I want it I will come with cash in hand" and flaked (a sign of the internet days to come, I think), and what seemed to be people who were happy to get what we were offering.

One of the items I was selling was my grandmother's accordion, and you accordion fans (ha ha ha) might have heard of Ponty Bone.  Well, he was buying a snow globe of New York City I had and when he came to pick it up, he asked if the accordion was still around and I said somebody wanted it but hadn't picked it up yet, and he asked if he could play it.  So I got it out and got a private performance from Ponty Bone in my living room. 

It was a very good sell-everything experience, 100% made possible by the internet.

A couple of years after that, we got a new mattress and needed to get rid of the old one, and I put a post on freecycle and it was gone the next day, picked up by someone who lived right by where we were staying, who asked only for some help getting it into the truck, and was very happy to get it.

Then a few years after that, we had to clear out Mr. Outlier's office and went the freecycle route again, and it couldn't have been more different.  Lots of no-shows, much back-and-forth on scheduling--all the common frustrations.  It's just amazing (and disheartening) how people act when something is FREE.  Sheeeeeesh.

I don't know if people these days just accept it, but for those of us who were around before the internet got ruined, it's hard to take.

 

2 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

Nowadays though, man, flying is such a goddamned bitch. 

I used to fly all the time (leisure, never business) and loved it.  New York for a long weekend on short notice because the ticket is $135?  Yes!  I'll show up at the airport with just enough time to breeze through the metal detector with my two free carry-on bags (one suitcase, one backpack with rollerblades in it) and be on my way.

But little by little it became increasingly annoying (mainly crowding and seat-back wars), and then 9/11.  I've flown only twice since then.  The first time was in 2003, and it was certainly unlike when I'd flown before, especially security.  But we only had to go one way because we were picking up a motorhome and driving it back home, so it was endurable.

And then I flew in 2005, only because Christo's The Gates was in New York City.  It was for a limited time in February, and we couldn't be sure we'd be able to get there in the motorhome in the winter, so we flew, and it was substantially worse than the time before.  Plus I went to D.C. and saw for the first time all the ugly barricades around all the government buildings and became very sad.  It was not the D.C. I knew.

At the airport, I was shocked when they made me take off my shoes.  Or, well, they didn't make me.  When I said I'd been through security in those shoes before and they were fine, the guy said, "You can try it, but if you set off the alarm, you're going to go to enhanced screening" or whatever it's called.  So I took off my shoes and shuffled along with all the other beaten down saps in sock feet and thought, "Not again if I can help it."

And so far, 13 years and counting.  It's really sad because I wasn't an avid world traveler, but I'd done some traveling outside the U.S. and would like to do more of it, but from the stories I hear, I don't think I could handle being in an airplane (without being drugged, which I have no problem recommending for myself or for children or probably some adults--sometimes sleep is the way to go).  But that's assuming I made it through security without getting arrested.  I'm not the belligerent type, but these days I fear an ill-timed deep sigh could cause problems.

I acknowledge this is a long post (but I'm not going to apologize for it--a major peeve of mine is when people apologize for long posts), but I think I'm getting to an age when I'm thinking, "I'll never do X again" or even, "I'll never have to do X again."  Like buy razor blades.  I'm quite confident that I will never have to buy razor blades again for the rest of my life.  It's a weird feeling.

And I'm wondering if it's the same for riding in an airplane.  ("Riding" as a nod to back when it was fun.)  I might very well never do it again, and it's a weird feeling. 

[Bastet]

I rarely sell anything anymore, but when I do I use Craigslist and, after weeding people out at the response level, I hardly ever have an issue.  I give a fair bit of stuff away on Freecycle, and they're still few, but I have more flakes there -- and I'm giving them something for free!  The worst ever was just a couple of weeks ago.  I had posted quite a few things after helping a friend sort her closet, and one person wanted three of those things (a duvet cover set and then a couple of little things).  We scheduled pick-up for the next morning (Saturday). 

It hadn't been picked up when I checked Saturday evening, at which point I'd just go on to the next person on my list for the duvet set, but it was really tempting to get rid of the little things, too, so I emailed her.  She responded that she'd pick up the next day.  I said fine, but she had to pick up by noon.  Crickets all day Sunday - no pick up, and no response.  So I went to the next person on the list, who by then had asked for one of the two little things as well, and scheduled pick-up for Tuesday evening. 

Just a couple of hours before she was due to arrive, the first person suddenly popped up in my email with, "I'll be by sometime today."  Seriously?  I wrote back, "No, you won't.  You were scheduled for Saturday morning, didn't show, rescheduled for Sunday morning, and didn't show or even email.  It's Tuesday afternoon.  I'm giving it to someone else, and don't bother asking for anything else I offer."  She replied with a vague apology, but come on.

[bilgistic]

God, yes. Been there. It's infuriating. Do these people conduct their work lives like that?

[Mindthinkr]

13 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

God, yes. Been there. It's infuriating. Do these people conduct their work lives like that?

Sometimes their whole lives, not just their work lives. Drives me nuts. A good example would be that one person who is always late. You fib about the time hoping that they’ll show up near the right time but no. It’s a me me me society. The rest of us don’t count. 

[bmasters9]

58 minutes ago, Jean-Beth said:

I tune out crying babies and chatty strangers with my iPod plugged into my ears while reading on my Kobo.  Sometimes a neighbor will read along with me, which is fine, just don’t ask me to read faster or slower.  I had one lousy flying experience last summer.  The cabin was stifling; I had an aisle seat; the sweating man in the middle seat was eating some greasy, crumbling snack; the girl next to the window had her shoulders up around her ears [clearly a sign of discomfort].  I used to always book a window seat, believing that looking outside would ease my anxiety, but seatmates would often ask me to pull down the window shade.  This always left me feeling trapped so I began booking aisle seats.  All of my trips have been domestic flights in economy seating.

The flight attendant [FA] came over and told the sweaty, greasy, crumb-coated man [SGC-CM] in the middle seat that she had a set of vacant seats in the back that he was welcome to move to.  He declined them!  Window girl [WG] and I each said “I’ll take them!” at the same time.  FA finally convinced him to take her offer, and before I could get up out of my seat to let him out, he jumped up, spilling greasy crumbs all over WG and me.  Ugh!

We landed and I made my way to the luggage carousel.  I found a space in front of a pillar at about midway point of the carousel, plenty of room to spot and grab my luggage, which was black with a red-patterned scarf attached for quick ID.  There was approximately 18 inches between me and the carousel and several people began lining up on either side of me.  You can see where this is going, right?  SGC-CM sidled up and stood right in front of me and then the people on either side of me also surged forward, completely blocking my view.  More people began surrounding me until there was no way I could see, let alone get at, my luggage.  It must have made many round-trips before I could see and grab it, shivering all alone on the conveyor belt.

I headed outside to grab a shuttle-bus for my area of the city.  Yep, you guessed it, SGC-CM [who is a stranger to me despite this third encounter] was on my bus!  The front passenger seat was taken, the other rows of seats were taken, the only available seat was between SGC-CM and another passenger.  I asked SGC-CM to move over to the middle seat or to get out so that I could get in.  That fucker refused!  I went around to the street-side but the driver said I could only board from the curb-side; he told SGC-CM to move over, which he finally did, leaving me the outside seat covered in GREASY CRUMBS.  Naturally I trashed my clothes when I got home, that grease was never going to wash out.

I wouldn't care to be in your position there for love or money!

[2727]

My worst ghosting experience was selling most of my belongings and renting my house before moving out of state (the FBI were hot on my heels!). I had carefully vetted three potential renters and chosen the one with the best credit history, etc. She gave me a check for the rent and deposit and I arranged to change the utilities to her name. The morning I was leaving, I had the car packed and was waiting for her to arrive. Never showed up. I called, no answer. I left messages. I called her work but she wasn't there.

Really?!

A day goes by and I contacted the second person on my list (who I'd already said no to), and asked if she was still interested. I bought a single size air mattress and cheap comforter to sleep on (all my furniture and bed linens had been sold). Ate fast food in takeaway cartons with plastic forks for a couple of days until the second renter and I were able to finalize the paperwork. She couldn't move in for a month, so the house was going to be empty and I ate that month's rent.

THEN the first renter finally shows up at the house. This was before cell phones and my landline had been cut off. She was extremely apologetic, groveling even, and was ready to move in. Like hell you will. She kept trying to explain but I wasn't having it. "I don't care about the reason. It's rented to someone else."

Frankly, once I was outside talking to her on the curb I could see that the inside of her fairly new car was a mess of trash and stained upholstery. I probably lucked out.

[Sun-Bun]

So many people are just goddamned flakey. How hard is it to make a quick phone call, email or text if you have to suddenly change plans?! 

[Sun-Bun]

10 hours ago, PRgal said:

I'm sorry, but I just can't.  And I'm really shocked you even considered suggesting this. :( 

Sorry, didn't mean to shock anyone here with my babies on planes gripes, although I did preface my comments on this topic by clarifying that I’m an asshole. ;)

But yes indeed, there are very safe doctor-approved meds/methods meant to calm children for long plane trips, especially those on the spectrum who may be overwhelmed and overstimulated by long flights. Believe me, I’m a SPED teacher and know quite a few of these meds and appreciate those parents who find healthy ways to make their trips smoother for both their child and any surrounding travelers; how could you *not* want to ensure that your infant/child is safe and calm in such an unfamiliar and often scary situation? Wouldn’t you rather a baby arrive to its final destination feeling calm and relaxed versus anxious, scared and tired from screaming for hours??

Hell, we make sure adults have safe meds to allow them to calmly travel and coexist without anxiety, so why shouldn’t young children be allowed this same opportunity? Years ago it used to be suggested that babies even be given a few sips of beer back in the retro parenting era. 

Talk to a pediatrician sometime if you don’t believe me on the meds for calming babies/kids thing though. There’s a wealth of natural products available; several of my students’ parents used to rave about this one:

 

[riley702]

I wouldn't want a child to be miserable if there are safe alternatives. Not just for me, but for them, too.

[PRgal]

5 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

Sorry, didn't mean to shock anyone here with my babies on planes gripes, although I did preface my comments on this topic by clarifying that I’m an asshole. ;)

But yes indeed, there are very safe doctor-approved meds/methods meant to calm children for long plane trips, especially those on the spectrum who may be overwhelmed and overstimulated by long flights. Believe me, I’m a SPED teacher and know quite a few of these meds and appreciate those parents who find healthy ways to make their trips smoother for both their child and any surrounding travelers; how could you *not* want to ensure that your infant/child is safe and calm in such an unfamiliar and often scary situation? Wouldn’t you rather a baby arrive to its final destination feeling calm and relaxed versus anxious, scared and tired from screaming for hours??

Hell, we make sure adults have safe meds to allow them to calmly travel and coexist without anxiety, so why shouldn’t young children be allowed this same opportunity? Years ago it used to be suggested that babies even be given a few sips of beer back in the retro parenting era. 

Talk to a pediatrician sometime if you don’t believe me on the meds for calming babies/kids thing though. There’s a wealth of natural products available; several of my students’ parents used to rave about this one:

 

What @riley702 said.  And these aren't for babies anyway.

[Sun-Bun]

No, @PRgal, obviously *those* meds pictured above aren’t meant for babies. Just saying: the safe meds are out there for children of all ages. And I agree with @riley702 too—-safe alternatives to make traveling easier and less miserable for babies/kids includes calming agents. Even CBD oil works wonders.

 

The anti-meds in children arguments remind me of a former student I taught who had daily raging mood swings/tantrums due to her schizophrenia—-she was 15 and it was especially tough for her during her time of the month. Yet her mother refused to medicate this poor girl because she didn’t want her to be a “pill-popper before she turns 18.” Never mind that her daughter would be so upset and worn out from these near daily episodes, insane episodes in which she’d do everything from strip naked while attacking our staff to trying to run out of the school into the street, that she barely learned anything in the two years I worked with her.

With just a few safe meds in her system, she could’ve been able to focus, be less exhausted and stressed, and used to the meds working within her body chemistry to get her through the day with no stress. Better living with chemistry was our motto at that school; it’s no wonder that the students who were prescribed safe meds were our most productive and successful graduates.

Just saying: medication is often the best answer for some kids.

Edited June 19, 2018 by Sun-Bun

[backformore]

17 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

If you gotta drag your baby/kid on a flight and you know it’s likely gonna scream, how about giving him/her some kind of safe medication to calm him/her down? I recently saw video footage of that kid who loudly screamed non-stop on an 8 hour international flight—-by the sound of it, that kid was likely on the spectrum. Why in the fuck would you not do that kid and fellow passengers a favor and give it some kind of calming meds beforehand?! That kind of thoughtless parental entitlement is probably my number one complaint about flying these days.

Oh no. You don't drug kids to make them quiet, please!  It's dangerous, there are no medications without side effects, and you don't know how your kid will react. Also, the commonly used cold/allergy meds that make some people sleepy can actually have the opposite effect on young kids.

ETA: giving kids a medication because the child needs it is one thing. Doing it to shut them up so they don't bother people? I am firmly against it. 

My older son had some serious challenges growing up.  Cold medicines, even Benadryl (he had allergies) made him hyper and agitated. Our pediatrician told us it was not uncommon for some kids to have that reaction. If we had ever given him Benadryl to sleep on a plane, it would have been a nightmare.

Edited June 19, 2018 by backformore

[theredhead77]

7 minutes ago, backformore said:

Oh no. You don't drug kids to make them quiet, please!  It's dangerous, there are no medications without side effects, and you don't know how your kid will react. Also, the commonly used cold/allergy meds that make some people sleepy can actually have the opposite effect on young kids.

Cold medicine / "sleepy medicine" + child TRH = kid who just blew through a load of coke (the drug and the drink) + drank a case of Jolt + ate all the cotton candy. Not a good mix.

To this day I can't take most cold medicines and I can't take anything that has a sleepy component (dramamine, benadryl, nyquil)

[PRgal]

1 minute ago, theredhead77 said:

Cold medicine / "sleepy medicine" + child TRH = kid who just blew through a load of coke (the drug and the drink) + drank a case of Jolt + ate all the cotton candy. Not a good mix.

To this day I can't take most cold medicines and I can't take anything that has a sleepy component (dramamine, benadryl, nyquil)

All of that or all of that plus a load of bright blue "ice cream?"  

My nephew ate blue ice cream when he was two and spent half the night running around our condo (my sister-in-law and her family were staying with us).  He didn't stop until he was tired out.  

[theredhead77]

Just now, PRgal said:

All of that or all of that plus a load of bright blue "ice cream?"  

My nephew ate blue ice cream when he was two and spent half the night running around our condo (my sister-in-law and her family were staying with us).  He didn't stop until he was tired out.  

Box of red vines or cherry slurpees. Blue dye doesn't bother me but red dye does. 

I didn't stop when I was tired out, I  turned into overtired, overstimulated child TRH. Needless to say, my parents doled out the cold medication very sparingly.

[StatisticalOutlier]

2 hours ago, backformore said:

Oh no. You don't drug kids to make them quiet, please!  It's dangerous, there are no medications without side effects, and you don't know how your kid will react. Also, the commonly used cold/allergy meds that make some people sleepy can actually have the opposite effect on young kids.

I would assume that anyone thinking of doing this would do a trial run at home first, to see how it works, even if they didn't know it could have the opposite effect.

That said, if I were in a confined space with a distraught child and the parents said they gave it some Benadryl hoping to avoid that situation, I'd look at them a lot more forgivingly because at least they tried.  The ones who just don't care about the non-consenting victims, never mind their own kid's distress?  Not much forgiveness in me for them.

[KittyMom4]

22 hours ago, Bastet said:

I don't get the increase in babies/toddlers on planes, either.  They're too young to understand the situation and thus be expected to behave, and you certainly can't get up and take the kid outside when it starts fussing, so why put the kid, yourself, and your fellow passengers through the inevitable disturbance unless it's absolutely necessary?  Is every one of these parents truly going someplace they a) must travel to b) with their child c) by plane?  Hell, no.

The only flights I've taken in the last 5 years has been to Florida, specifically Orlando, to spend a week at my parents time-share resort in Williamsburg, FL, I love it there but that's for a different topic. Anyway, my flights always involve children since Orlando is home to the happiest place on Earth. I have to say, for the most part the children are pretty well behaved both ways, on our last flight home there was a little girl who stood on her seat before we were ready to take-off and sang to everyone. It was the sweetest thing ever! There's always some crying or fussing but earbuds work miracles. Unless the kid is ill-behaved (kicking my seat, throwing things, etc.) I let it go. It's the rude adults who talk loud, forget to use deoderent or mouthwash, hog the arm rest, play their i-pod/i-pad/laptop too loud that drive me bonkers. We're all in a confined space for 2 1/2 hours, could we please be considerate of others for that short time??

[peacheslatour]

I feel silly now with all this serious drug the kids/don't drug the kids topic when I came in to bitch that I can't find a decent full length, light weight robe anywhere. I've looked on Amazon repeatedly, Macy's, Mod Cloth, JC Penney, Zulily, Victoria's Secret, Nordstrom and I am at my wits end. We are having a sudden heatwave and after my good old Calvin Klein robe gave up the ghost I'm reduced to wearing my winter flannel plaid robe and sweating my ass off. AAaaarrrgghhh.

[KittyMom4]

8 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

I feel silly now with all this serious drug the kids/don't drug the kids topic when I came in to bitch that I can't find a decent full length, light weight robe anywhere. I've looked on Amazon repeatedly, Macy's, Mod Cloth, JC Penney, Zulily, Victoria's Secret, Nordstrom and I am at my wits end. We are having a sudden heatwave and after my good old Calvin Klein robe gave up the ghost I'm reduced to wearing my winter flannel plaid robe and sweating my ass off. AAaaarrrgghhh.

Sing it sister! I want a light weight, cotton blend, mid-length robe to wear for the summer months, the one I purchased years ago has seen better days, I've searched websites, department stores, Kohl's/Target, etc. for something similar and all I find are silk (too hot!), terry cloth (too bulky!), or jersey material (again, too hot!). I don't want to spend more than $25-$30 either, WTH? I guess short kimono silk style robes are all the rage with bridesmaids nowadays but it's not practical for a Saturday morning-drinking-coffee-reading-the-paper-throwing-laundry-in-the-washer kind of weekend! 

[peacheslatour]

14 minutes ago, GoodieGirl said:

Sing it sister! I want a light weight, cotton blend, mid-length robe to wear for the summer months, the one I purchased years ago has seen better days, I've searched websites, department stores, Kohl's/Target, etc. for something similar and all I find are silk (too hot!), terry cloth (too bulky!), or jersey material (again, too hot!). I don't want to spend more than $25-$30 either, WTH? I guess short kimono silk style robes are all the rage with bridesmaids nowadays but it's not practical for a Saturday morning-drinking-coffee-reading-the-paper-throwing-laundry-in-the-washer kind of weekend! 

IKR? I had a Calvin Kiein that I bought on Amazon in 2004. It was black cotton knit, self belted and had deep pockets. I loved that robe but it had gotten to the point that it was almost see through. I thought I could just go back to Amazon and get another one. Nothing. And yes, they had millions of silky kimono's which are slippery and make me sweat. And now knowing that you tried the next places I was going to look with no luck fills me with despair. I know, first world problems.

[Bastet]

25 minutes ago, GoodieGirl said:

I guess short kimono silk style robes are all the rage with bridesmaids nowadays

Oh gods, do I have to go buy a robe for this damn wedding, too?  (I don't own one, silk or otherwise.)  I'm kidding, I just like to reflexively grumble every time being in a wedding is mentioned.

I remember seeing robes at the bridal store - yep, short and silky (satin, I assume) - with "Bride," "Maid of Honor," or "Bridesmaid" emblazoned across the backs.  It was in a little section of the store we decided should have a sign above it reading, "If you purchase anything in here, you are too immature to get married."

Edited June 19, 2018 by Bastet

[KittyMom4]

8 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

IKR? I had a Calvin Kiein that I bought on Amazon in 2004. It was black cotton knit, self belted and had deep pockets. I loved that robe but it had gotten to the point that it was almost see through. I thought I could just go back to Amazon and get another one. Nothing. And yes, they had millions of silky kimono's which are slippery and make me sweat. And now knowing that you tried the next places I was going to look with no luck fills me with despair. I know, first world problems.

The price range on the ones that did meet my criteria were $50-$150, which I would never spend on something I wear to scoop the kitty litter in the morning. I purchased my current on in 2010, at an outlet mall in Florida, it's tattered and stained but I refuse to get rid of it until I find a replacement. First world problems indeed.

[KittyMom4]

8 minutes ago, Bastet said:

I remember seeing robes at the bridal store - yep, short and silky (satin, I assume) - with "Bride," "Maid of Honor," or "Bridesmaid" emblazoned across the backs.  It was in a little section of the store we decided should have a sign above it reading, "If you purchase anything in here, you are too immature to get married.

Bwahahahaha! Truth! I was so happy my daughter didn't insist on such shenanigans! 

[peacheslatour]

I think I found one. I can't find the item number but the description is: Women's Soft Sleepwear Modal Cotton Wrap Bathrobe Long Kimono Robe. It comes in a bunch of colors and is as close to my old one as I've seen. $25.99. The reviews said it runs really small so even though I'm only 5'3" and 118#'s I am getting an extra large if I don't find a better one.

[StatisticalOutlier]

I have a lightweight robe with a Saks Fifth Avenue label that I got as a gift many years ago.  It developed holes in the armpits, I think from being bunched up/folded the same way all the time when I was wearing it, and stressed when that part got pulled, probably when I have to raise the TV remote up high to get it to work.  The fabric in that area eventually gave up and vanished.

I spent probably three or four hours patching in some fabric from a pillowcase, where all those seams come together and the fabric doesn't lie flat.  It was a nightmare.  I also zig-zagged around the ends of the sleeves, where they were fraying.  It looks like hell but by gum it's a solid piece again, and I hope I've put off robe shopping for years to come because I'd rather spend 4 hours vexing over a sewing machine than even 15 minutes shopping for a robe (or pretty much anything, actually).

[Quof]

Lord and Taylor has some store brand pima cotton robes.   Knee length only.  I know I have seen some Jones New York lightweight robes, usually at Marshalls/TJ Maxx and the like.

[Bastet]

3 minutes ago, forumfish said:

If you don't mind looking like my grandmother, try Sears for cotton dusters.

Right?  A couple of years ago, my mom and I were walking through the sleepwear department of a Sears to get into the mall and she said, "Oh, I need a new robe."  I took once glance over at the sea of nursing home attire and said, "Not from here!"

[peacheslatour]

18 minutes ago, forumfish said:

If you don't mind looking like my grandmother, try Sears for cotton dusters.

Oh god, that reminds me of a thing called a "house coat" that my grandma Kitty used to wear. In fact so did all of her neighbors. They were hideous.

[GHScorpiosRule]

Re: air travel.

I guess I'm the odd ball here; I LOVE traveling.  Don't get to do it as often as I'd like. The whole job situation. I would love to afford First Class; but I love Delta's Economy Comfort--which gives my and extra  room for my feet and where I can keep my purse/small carryon. In all my years of travel (most international as I am going to India), I've only sat next to a new mom with a baby and she was only fussy for about 10 minutes. The baby that is. I've been fortunate enough in my travels that I don't need to recline. Those economy seats don't recline far enough to be of any use or comfort anyway. I ALWAYS ask for a window seat; prop up the pillow between the window and side of my seat, and sleep that way. It works for me.

[Quof]

Quote

Oh god, that reminds me of a thing called a "house coat" that my grandma Kitty used to wear. In fact so did all of her neighbors. They were hideous.

My mother is an exhibitionist. She likes to parade around the house wearing only a robe that ties at the waist, regardless of who might be visiting. Of course it gapes open, exposing a lot of boobage.  Every Christmas, I buy her a housecoat that zips all the way to the chin.

[MargeGunderson]

3 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

I feel silly now with all this serious drug the kids/don't drug the kids topic when I came in to bitch that I can't find a decent full length, light weight robe anywhere. I've looked on Amazon repeatedly, Macy's, Mod Cloth, JC Penney, Zulily, Victoria's Secret, Nordstrom and I am at my wits end. We are having a sudden heatwave and after my good old Calvin Klein robe gave up the ghost I'm reduced to wearing my winter flannel plaid robe and sweating my ass off. AAaaarrrgghhh.

I got a really nice one at J Jill: Ultra Soft Shirred-Back Sleep Robe It’s very soft and lightweight.

[peacheslatour]

8 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

I got a really nice one at J Jill: Ultra Soft Shirred-Back Sleep Robe It’s very soft and lightweight.

That's sort of what I'm looking for but I need it to be full length. Thanks, Imma look around their site. I used to get a lot of clothes from them but they stopped sending catalogs and I forgot about them.

[MargeGunderson]

15 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

That's sort of what I'm looking for but I need it to be full length. Thanks, Imma look around their site. I used to get a lot of clothes from them but they stopped sending catalogs and I forgot about them.

Just for reference, I’m 5’7 and it is mid-calf on me. 

[theredhead77]

I fly back to CA next week, on Delta. I booked regular economy, aisle seat. My plane to is a wide-body jet 3 - 3 - 3 with sleeper beds in 1st class and my flight home is standard 3 - 3. I've never been on a new wide-body jet but based on everything else, I expect the seats to be smaller than the older planes. 

Then in August I fly to Nashville, on Southwest. I've flown them across country, I'll be fine for a 90 minute flight. I'm home for less than 24 hours and I fly Delta up to Philly for 2 nights. 

I'm not a fan of flying. I have some of the kitty xanax left and I think I may take half a pill (ahead of time, at home) to see if it chills me out.

[backformore]

10 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

No, @PRgal, obviously *those* meds pictured above aren’t meant for babies. Just saying: the safe meds are out there for children of all ages. And I agree with @riley702 too—-safe alternatives to make traveling easier and less miserable for babies/kids includes calming agents. Even CBD oil works wonders.

 

The anti-meds in children arguments remind me of a former student I taught who had daily raging mood swings/tantrums due to her schizophrenia—-she was 15 and it was especially tough for her during her time of the month. Yet her mother refused to medicate this poor girl because she didn’t want her to be a “pill-popper before she turns 18.” Never mind that her daughter would be so upset and worn out from these near daily episodes, insane episodes in which she’d do everything from strip naked while attacking our staff to trying to run out of the school into the street, that she barely learned anything in the two years I worked with her.

With just a few safe meds in her system, she could’ve been able to focus, be less exhausted and stressed, and used to the meds working within her body chemistry to get her through the day with no stress. Better living with chemistry was our motto at that school; it’s no wonder that the students who were prescribed safe meds were our most productive and successful graduates.

Just saying: medication is often the best answer for some kids.

I am not in any way anti-meds for children.  (I work in the mental health field)  SOME kids need meds to function. 

I am, however, against medicating kids for the convenience of adults.  I've known parents who give their kids cold/allergy meds every night, not because they're sick, but just to get "peace and quiet."  lazy parenting, in my view, because kids need to learn how to settle down without meds.  Giving kids meds in order to keep them quiet in an airplane or on a car trip is not an appropriate use, because it's not about the child having any illness or symptoms, it's just to shut them up.   chamomile tea, lavender essential oils, and a calming video on a tablet can get kids to settle. Sucking on a pacifier or bottle helps prevent the ear-plugging and pain that can happen on a plane.  

[backformore]

4 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

I feel silly now with all this serious drug the kids/don't drug the kids topic when I came in to bitch that I can't find a decent full length, light weight robe anywhere. I've looked on Amazon repeatedly, Macy's, Mod Cloth, JC Penney, Zulily, Victoria's Secret, Nordstrom and I am at my wits end. We are having a sudden heatwave and after my good old Calvin Klein robe gave up the ghost I'm reduced to wearing my winter flannel plaid robe and sweating my ass off. AAaaarrrgghhh.

 LANDS END

I love Lands End.  their stuff might not be the height of fashion, but it's generally made well and lasts forever.  

[riley702]

I really like that red one, although I don't wear robes because I'm always hot.

[peacheslatour]

51 minutes ago, backformore said:

 LANDS END

I love Lands End.  their stuff might not be the height of fashion, but it's generally made well and lasts forever.  

Very nice. Thanks.

[StatisticalOutlier]

2 hours ago, backformore said:

I've known parents who give their kids cold/allergy meds every night, not because they're sick, but just to get "peace and quiet."  lazy parenting, in my view, because kids need to learn how to settle down without meds. 

Of course.

 

Quote

Giving kids meds in order to keep them quiet in an airplane or on a car trip is not an appropriate use, because it's not about the child having any illness or symptoms, it's just to shut them up.   chamomile tea, lavender essential oils, and a calming video on a tablet can get kids to settle. Sucking on a pacifier or bottle helps prevent the ear-plugging and pain that can happen on a plane.

But the illness or symptom could be distress from being on the plane.  If a parent knows chamomile tea or essential oils or a calming video works, then great--use it and make everybody on the plane happy.  But if those aren't known to work on a particular kid and a dose of Benadryl does, then I don't think an occasional situational off-label use is lazy parenting.  Quite the contrary, actually.  

[bilgistic]

5 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

Oh god, that reminds me of a thing called a "house coat" that my grandma Kitty used to wear. In fact so did all of her neighbors. They were hideous.

Y'all are cracking me up! My grandmother always wore thin cotton snap-front housecoats. I guess she still does at 92, but I haven't spent the night at her house in probably 30 years.

My mother had this HIDEOUS long-sleeved and either mandarin or mock-neck collared velour robe that she wore all the time. As soon as work clothes came off, the velour robe went on. Out of the shower and into the robe. I'm fairly certain it was never washed. It was the color of Campbell's tomato soup everywhere but the front, which had a wide black vertical stripe down the center, in the middle of which was the zipper, and a wide white vertical stripe on both sides of the black center stripe.

I wonder if it came from London when my father was stationed there while in the Air Force; Mom lived on base with him. That was in the early 1970s.

I am going to have to ask where the robe is now. I haven't seen it in several years.