Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[Ancaster]

On 12/1/2024 at 9:06 AM, fairffaxx said:

Sez who?  I pretty much only use my cell phone to text people who prefer that method of communication & I don't do a lot of that, so I hardly ever know where the darn thing is.  My list, on the other hand, lives in my back pocket & is always with me.

That's you.  A lot (the majority?) of people these days always carry their cell phone and know where it is.  I hand write a list and take it with me, but also take a photo, because that slip of paper meanders around various resting spots during the course of a shopping trip - back pocket, shirt pocket, wallet, reusable bag, phone case, hand (!).  And that's if it ever made it out of the house.

Edited December 3 by Ancaster

[Ancaster]

People who only go to New Zealand because of Hobbiton.

I appreciate that this has been great for the economy, but I have spent decades dreaming of going to NZ because, well, it's New Zealand.  Now that I can finally afford to go I'm afraid my dream has been spoiled.

PS:  Any Kiwis out there?  Do you hate Hobbiton and the whole hoopla surrounding it, or do you love it?

Edited December 3 by Ancaster

[PRgal]

1 hour ago, Ancaster said:

People who only go to New Zealand because of Hobbiton.

I appreciate that this has been great for the economy, but I have spent decades dreaming of going to NZ because, well, it's New Zealand.  Now that I can finally afford to go I'm afraid my dream has been spoiled.

PS:  Any Kiwis out there?  Do you hate Hobbiton and the whole hoopla surrounding it, or do you love it?

Sounds like all those young ladies (mostly young ladies) and their moms who came from all over for the Taylor Swift concert last month.  But I guess Hobbiton is way worse/crazier!!!  

[Browncoat]

1 hour ago, Ancaster said:

People who only go to New Zealand because of Hobbiton.

I appreciate that this has been great for the economy, but I have spent decades dreaming of going to NZ because, well, it's New Zealand.  Now that I can finally afford to go I'm afraid my dream has been spoiled.

PS:  Any Kiwis out there?  Do you hate Hobbiton and the whole hoopla surrounding it, or do you love it?

Hobbiton was a nice addition to the trip I'm currently on in NZ.  It was but a small part of my larger trip, although I was thrilled when I discovered it was an easy addition.  From what I can tell, people here are glad for all the tourism dollars -- several have actually thanked me for spending money on souvenirs/Christmas presents.  And it's pretty easy to avoid Hobbiton if you don't want to go.  Your dream shouldn't be spoiled by that.

ETA: It was interesting to me to know how many people visit Hobbiton who have absolutely no idea what they're seeing or why -- they've never read the books or seen the movies, but there they are.  One person on my tour asked me what Middle Earth was.  Our guide said someone on another tour asked him what a Hobbit was.  I completely understand why a fan would go (some people dress up as elves!), but why go if you don't even have a passing knowledge of it?

Edited December 3 by Browncoat

[fastiller]

1 hour ago, Ancaster said:

People who only go to New Zealand because of Hobbiton.

I appreciate that this has been great for the economy, but I have spent decades dreaming of going to NZ because, well, it's New Zealand.  Now that I can finally afford to go I'm afraid my dream has been spoiled.

PS:  Any Kiwis out there?  Do you hate Hobbiton and the whole hoopla surrounding it, or do you love it?

 

7 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

Hobbiton was a nice addition to the trip I'm currently on in NZ.  It was but a small part of my larger trip, although I was thrilled when I discovered it was an easy addition.  From what I can tell, people here are glad for all the tourism dollars -- several have actually thanked me for spending money on souvenirs/Christmas presents.  And it's pretty easy to avoid Hobbiton if you don't want to go.  Your dream shouldn't be spoiled by that.

ETA: It was interesting to me to know how many people visit Hobbiton who have absolutely no idea what they're seeing or why -- they've never read the books or seen the movies, but there they are.  One person on my tour asked me what Middle Earth was.  Our guide said someone on another tour asked him what a Hobbit was.  I completely understand why a fan would go (some people dress up as elves!), but why go if you don't even have a passing knowledge of it?

It sounds like the various Game of Thrones filming locations in the North of Ireland.  Plenty of non-GoT fans on these tours who are like 'what's King's Landing and why should I care about it?'

 

[Dimity]

Damn postal strike.  Saw the perfect gift for my husband on Ebay and while I can order it now god knows when it will arrive.  I guess we can start a new tradition and start exchanging Easter gifts!

[oliviabenson]

58 minutes ago, Dimity said:

Damn postal strike.  Saw the perfect gift for my husband on Ebay and while I can order it now god knows when it will arrive.  I guess we can start a new tradition and start exchanging Easter gifts!

Exchange pics of gifts you are exchanging.

[Cloud9Shopper]

Strangers who try to be overly invasive with me or lecture me. As if I never get that from my family as it is.

I just got back from an overnight trip run by a local tour company. I was traveling solo. That does not bother me in and of itself, but pretty much every activity was with the entire group (i.e. meals with a menu where you had to make your choice when reserving the trip, similar to how you choose a meal when RSVPing for a wedding, plus we had two group tour) so I felt like an odd one out at times but not super uncomfortable. Until at lunch today when a lady who I met yesterday and will likely never see again admonished me “put your phone away; this is not a meal where we have our phones out.” OK Carol, well you are not my mother, and if I take a minute or two to look at my phone during a quiet part of the meal, who is really going to be offended? We’re not even getting off the bus in the same location, so maybe chill a little. I looked at my phone last night during dinner and the people with me didn’t seem offended. And if they were, then…again I will likely never see them after today. 

The rest of the trip was nice and I liked the food and activities fine. But, I think this whole “spend 95% of the time with the group” itinerary is not for me personally. I booked a solo cruise for next year and need the freedom a more independent vacation offers me, where I can pick where I want to eat and what activities I want to do and not necessarily have to do what someone else plans and decides for me. On a cruise if you don’t like one excursion or are not crazy about formal night in the dining room, for example, you have alternatives. That’s more my speed I think. 

The exception to this rule might be a day trip because at least then you’re only with the group for a few hours rather than having to eat multiple meals and then go with them all on a tour too. 

Edited December 4 by Cloud9Shopper

[PRgal]

2 hours ago, Dimity said:

Damn postal strike.  Saw the perfect gift for my husband on Ebay and while I can order it now god knows when it will arrive.  I guess we can start a new tradition and start exchanging Easter gifts!

I have two orders sitting in a warehouse somewhere.  Purchased them before stores started changing their delivery methods.  

[TattleTeeny]

On 12/2/2024 at 11:02 AM, Ohiopirate02 said:

I do not trust any employee with an order that includes produce and meat. I have seen my local stores have products on the shelf that should not be sold too many times to trust anyone but me to select the correct one. From frozen bagged salad mixes to bruised apples to greyish looking beef that are all technically okay to sell, all of this could end up in your pick-up order. I know the employee does not care about getting me the best just the first one they lay their hands on before moving on to their next task.

If that happens, you just get a refund. Of course, then you have to go get it yourself, which totally defeats the purpose of not doing such a torturous chore. I don’t eat meat, so I’m not too worried about that, at least. And like any other business on the planet, some employees are good, others aren’t; I couldn’t summarily assume that none of them care. But yes, sometimes people are dumb.

[Ancaster]

I don't think cell phones calls/texts are ever appropriate at the table, whether at home or in a restaurant.  Excuse yourself and go to a quiet corner.

Why is it so hard to expect manners and not be dismissed as an old fart?

[Cloud9Shopper]

7 hours ago, Ancaster said:

I don't think cell phones calls/texts are ever appropriate at the table, whether at home or in a restaurant.  Excuse yourself and go to a quiet corner.

Why is it so hard to expect manners and not be dismissed as an old fart?

Because I paid for the trip just as much as these people did and can do as I please? It’s not the place of someone I’ve never met until two days ago and I’m not related to tell me how to act at the table. Especially since both of them took out their phones when they finished eating, so why was it OK for them to do it and not for me? 

I’ve had my phone away on plenty of other occasions, but a random traveler/stranger doesn’t get to tell me how to act. Now, if a tour guide says to turn your phone on silent or not take flash photos, I’ll comply. Or back home, I leave my phone in my purse during Thanksgiving dinner or make sure it’s silent during Mass. But when I’m traveling solo and know nobody, I will text at the meal table if I want to. If someone who I’m 98% likely to never see again thinks I’m rude, then so be it. 

 

Edited December 4 by Cloud9Shopper

[Ohiopirate02]

10 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

If that happens, you just get a refund. Of course, then you have to go get it yourself, which totally defeats the purpose of not doing such a torturous chore. I don’t eat meat, so I’m not too worried about that, at least. And like any other business on the planet, some employees are good, others aren’t; I couldn’t summarily assume that none of them care. But yes, sometimes people are dumb.

Honestly, it's not that people are dumb. My experience working retail has taught me that the company expects too much from its employees and will not give them the time necessary to pull my order correctly. The whole system is set up for them to pick up the first item they see before scanning and moving on to the next while timing the employee down to the second to make sure they are pulling the order in the time the corporate managers who have never worked retail in their lives think a person can accomplish the task. Said time is calculated at the home office in their mock store that has zero customers in it and never has random pallets of merchandise in the aisles or vendors. 

The people are dumb is Instacart. 

[partofme]

11 hours ago, Ancaster said:

I don't think cell phones calls/texts are ever appropriate at the table, whether at home or in a restaurant.  Excuse yourself and go to a quiet corner.

Why is it so hard to expect manners and not be dismissed as an old fart?

I do agree that there are a lot of times where having a phone out at the table would be rude, but in the particular circumstance that @Cloud9Shopper  described, I don’t think these people were expecting her to have a conversation with them so I don’t really see a problem with her having her phone out unless she was specifically told in advance  by the organizers not to do this.

[Mrsmaul2021]

On 12/2/2024 at 11:02 AM, Ohiopirate02 said:

I do not trust any employee with an order that includes produce and meat. I have seen my local stores have products on the shelf that should not be sold too many times to trust anyone but me to select the correct one. From frozen bagged salad mixes to bruised apples to greyish looking beef that are all technically okay to sell, all of this could end up in your pick-up order. I know the employee does not care about getting me the best just the first one they lay their hands on before moving on to their next task.

 

 

OMG this is too true!  When I order through Instacart I am almost always cheated when it comes to meat and produce(mainly meat). I simply go to the store when I need either.  Frankly I go to the store period because Instacart price gouges. 

Edited December 4 by Mrsmaul2021

[Caoimhe]

8 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

I’ve had my phone away on plenty of other occasions, but a random traveler/stranger doesn’t get to tell me how to act. Now, if a tour guide says to turn your phone on silent or not take flash photos, I’ll comply. Or back home, I leave my phone in my purse during Thanksgiving dinner or make sure it’s silent during Mass. But when I’m traveling solo and know nobody, I will text at the meal table if I want to. If someone who I’m 98% likely to never see again thinks I’m rude, then so be it. 

My phone is my Emotional Support Device and if I’m in a group of strangers I *WILL* take it out whenever I like (unless there’s a good reason, not a nasty interfering stranger at the table trying to police my behaviour). I’d have been kicking myself for hours afterward thinking of all the comebacks that horrid woman deserved that I couldn’t think of on the spot. Like you I don’t use my phone during meals with family or friends, at events, or when directed not to for a specific reason.

Many years ago we went on a trip like that and everyone was shocked to find we were all supposed to eat dinner together! One person (a woman on her own) got up and walked out, found a local restaurant to have a peaceful dinner at, and by the next night it was sorted and  she got her own table. I admired her for that!

Edited December 4 by Caoimhe
removed name!

[TattleTeeny]

I have had only the best luck with Instacart! I love it! And sometimes, with my regular grocery ordering, I get the store employee who is vegan -- she is the best too! She knows not to sub my fake burgers with actual ones (yup, it happened...ironically, in the same order in which they gave me NO paper towels instead of just picking a different type than the out-of-stock one I originally chose).

[Cloud9Shopper]

1 hour ago, partofme said:

I do agree that there are a lot of times where having a phone out at the table would be rude, but in the particular circumstance that @Cloud9Shopper  described, I don’t think these people were expecting her to have a conversation with them so I don’t really see a problem with her having her phone out unless she was specifically told in advance  by the organizers not to do this.

We were at a restaurant with a banquet room when this happened, as the tour company reserved the room for lunch. It was the last organized part of the trip before we were to board the bus for home and nobody was going to be giving a speech or presentation to the group that required full attention and silencing phones. This wasn’t like we were all going to Jane’s house for lunch and Jane requested that we not bring our phones to the table. The lady who admonished me was another traveler who I’d never met until the trip, not the owner of the restaurant or someone who was opening her home to 50 strangers and wanted us to follow her rules. 

[fastiller]

On 12/2/2024 at 11:02 AM, Ohiopirate02 said:

I do not trust any employee with an order that includes produce and meat. I have seen my local stores have products on the shelf that should not be sold too many times to trust anyone but me to select the correct one. From frozen bagged salad mixes to bruised apples to greyish looking beef that are all technically okay to sell, all of this could end up in your pick-up order. I know the employee does not care about getting me the best just the first one they lay their hands on before moving on to their next task.

=&=

2 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

Honestly, it's not that people are dumb. My experience working retail has taught me that the company expects too much from its employees and will not give them the time necessary to pull my order correctly. The whole system is set up for them to pick up the first item they see before scanning and moving on to the next while timing the employee down to the second to make sure they are pulling the order in the time the corporate managers who have never worked retail in their lives think a person can accomplish the task. Said time is calculated at the home office in their mock store that has zero customers in it and never has random pallets of merchandise in the aisles or vendors. 

The people are dumb is Instacart. 

 

Emphasis mine. A while back Amazon (which I do buy from, yes, but even so) had on their trucks something along the lines of: "Pick Two: Low Prices / Quick Delivery".  Like, saying they offer both.  Which they do.  I've wanted to add under it "Working Conditions Conducive to Employee Health & Well Being" but don't have a sharpie/spray paint with me all the time.

 

1 hour ago, Caoimhe said:

My phone is my Emotional Support Device and if I’m in a group of strangers I *WILL* take it out whenever I like (unless there’s a good reason, not a strange Karen at the table trying to police my behaviour). I’d have been kicking myself for hours afterward thinking of all the comebacks that horrid woman deserved that I couldn’t think of on the spot. Like you I don’t use my phone during meals with family or friends, at events, or when directed not to for a specific reason.

Many years ago we went on a trip like that and everyone was shocked to find we were all supposed to eat dinner together! One person (a woman on her own) got up and walked out, found a local restaurant to have a peaceful dinner at, and by the next night it was sorted and  she got her own table. I admired her for that!

Emphasis mine (again).  My best friend -a woman I cannot recall meeting, like I've known her literally* my entire life- is named Karen. One of our joint pet peeves is how her name has been assigned this crappy connotation.  (Not calling you out specifically @Caoimhe, just in general.)

*correct usage here; we grew up with one house between her house and mine.  

[Mrsmaul2021]

1 hour ago, partofme said:

I do agree that there are a lot of times where having a phone out at the table would be rude, but in the particular circumstance that @Cloud9Shopper  described, I don’t think these people were expecting her to have a conversation with them so I don’t really see a problem with her having her phone out unless she was specifically told in advance  by the organizers not to do this.

 

 

Exactly, My thing is, people may not like it but if you see a person doing it, who cares? If they are not bothering anybody, disrupting anything, what is the big deal, why say anything to that person at all??  For all we know, IT COULD have been an emergency. 

[Dimity]

On 12/3/2024 at 12:40 PM, Ancaster said:

People who only go to New Zealand because of Hobbiton.

I appreciate that this has been great for the economy, but I have spent decades dreaming of going to NZ because, well, it's New Zealand.  Now that I can finally afford to go I'm afraid my dream has been spoiled.

I'm not understanding you here.  How has your trip been spoiled?  To be honest I have no idea what Hobbiton is but why does its existence impact you?

17 minutes ago, Mrsmaul2021 said:

Exactly, My thing is, people may not like it but if you see a person doing it, who cares? If they are not bothering anybody, disrupting anything, what is the big deal, why say anything to that person at all??  For all we know, IT COULD have been an emergency. 

To me it's like reading a book at the table.  I'd never do this if I was dining out with friends or family but if I'm alone?  Hells yes.  Best part of going solo IMO, getting to read uninterrupted while eating a meal someone else cooked!

[fastiller]

14 minutes ago, Dimity said:

To me it's like reading a book at the table.  I'd never do this if I was dining out with friends or family but if I'm alone?  Hells yes.  Best part of going solo IMO, getting to read uninterrupted while eating a meal someone else cooked!

One of my favourite things to do is go out for dinner on my own with a good book.  Preferably if I can sit & eat at the bar & it's lit well enough.  There's a hipster-ish Vietnamese place near me where I'll do this once or twice a month (during the summer it's pretty much every Friday night after my swim) where they know me enough to gauge how much interaction I'm wanting with the bar staff. Their cocktails are lovely and their phở is as well.

[Bastet]

1 hour ago, fastiller said:

My best friend -a woman I cannot recall meeting, like I've known her literally* my entire life- is named Karen. One of our joint pet peeves is how her name has been assigned this crappy connotation.

I miss the creativity of everyone getting their own, situation-specific name -- Permit Patty, Barbecue Becky.  And the lack of sexism in calling out Jogger Joe and his ilk, too.  Now everyone is just "Karen".

[Caoimhe]

2 hours ago, fastiller said:

My best friend -a woman I cannot recall meeting, like I've known her literally* my entire life- is named Karen. One of our joint pet peeves is how her name has been assigned this crappy connotation.  (Not calling you out specifically @Caoimhe, just in general.)

*correct usage here; we grew up with one house between her house and mine.  

In real life I use “f b” words rather than “that name”, but  message boards often get upset at describing someone that way!  I can  understand why so many perfectly nice people named Karen (and their friends) are annoyed at what the name has become associated with.

[PRgal]

35 minutes ago, Caoimhe said:

In real life I use “f b” words rather than “that name”, but  message boards often get upset at describing someone that way!  I can  understand why so many perfectly nice people named Karen (and their friends) are annoyed at what the name has become associated with.

And if she’s Asian, she’s Auntie Karen (you normally address a woman from a generation above as “Auntie.”  Millennials don’t seem to like it though.  As an Xennial born in Canada, I prefer Ms. FIRSTNAME). If you want to be meaner, you can call her Poh Poh Karen if you’re Cantonese speaking. 

[Dimity]

People who have to argue about everything, but especially about things that are easily checked on.  Sister insists that Live Aid was in 1984 (the concert, not the release of the song Do They Know It's Christmas - that was '84).  I say no, July of '85.  Even after I show her the web page confirming this she insists she's right because, apparently the rest of the world is in a giant conspiracy to piss her off today.  I guess.

Edited December 5 by Dimity

[Ancaster]

7 hours ago, Caoimhe said:

In real life I use “f b” words rather than “that name”, but  message boards often get upset at describing someone that way!  I can  understand why so many perfectly nice people named Karen (and their friends) are annoyed at what the name has become associated with.

What?

[Yeah No]

15 hours ago, Mrsmaul2021 said:

OMG this is too true!  When I order through Instacart I am almost always cheated when it comes to meat and produce(mainly meat). I simply go to the store when I need either.  Frankly I go to the store period because Instacart price gouges. 

At the beginning of the pandemic we ordered a lot from Instacart and some shoppers were very good but others didn't GAF and picked up any old crap and put it in the cart. Horrible looking vegetables, hideous cuts of meat, etc. And then the mistakes - I once asked for 3 bananas and made sure to specify individual bananas and got 3 full bunches of bananas. Hello, common sense anyone?

And what got me is that this was from the supermarket I go to most often that has the nicest meat and produce around. So you'd actually have to try really hard to find stuff that bad, even during the pandemic.

14 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

We were at a restaurant with a banquet room when this happened, as the tour company reserved the room for lunch. It was the last organized part of the trip before we were to board the bus for home and nobody was going to be giving a speech or presentation to the group that required full attention and silencing phones. This wasn’t like we were all going to Jane’s house for lunch and Jane requested that we not bring our phones to the table. The lady who admonished me was another traveler who I’d never met until the trip, not the owner of the restaurant or someone who was opening her home to 50 strangers and wanted us to follow her rules. 

Did you check with the tour company on the "rules" about cell phone usage during meals? Tour companies can have strange rules about all kinds of stuff I've found and not all of them are waved in your face, you have to read their website for stuff like that. And the way the woman phrased it as "this is not a meal where we have cell phones out" makes me wonder if that could be the case. Not defending her because I think either way it was not a big deal and she should have just STFU.

This kind of stuff is on my mind because my husband and I are planning a trip next summer and after watching umpteen videos on the ins and outs of taking guided tours I've found that there are often rules about photography, behavior, timeliness, staying with the group, even what size bag or back pack you can bring, you name it. 

[Cloud9Shopper]

LOL…no one from the tour company (it was just the bus driver and a tour coordinator) was walking around at lunch patrolling cell phone use, and they did not make any announcements at the restaurant indicating phone use was not allowed. We are all adults. The only people we encountered on the trip who asked us to silence our phones were those who were the tour guides/reenactors at a historical mansion and on a trolley tour. And again, in that case I complied as it was their organization who made the request, not some random stranger who doesn’t own or run anything. 

Honestly, if the company at home who coordinated the trip told me they had a rule where I couldn’t use my phone at group meals, I’d never travel with them again. It would be a huge overstep for me to tell paying customers they weren’t allowed to browse Facebook or send text messages while eating if no other presentations or activities were going on during the meal.  And again, that was not the case at this lunch.

When I was working at the grocery store I found it incredibly rude when customers would come to the checkout line on their phone and be chatting away, sometimes on speakerphone! We didn’t have a rule against it (since they were big on “the customer is always right”) but that was one time I wish we did! I just gave bare minimum service and didn’t engage them until they hung up the phone.

 

4 hours ago, Yeah No said:

 

Did you check with the tour company on the "rules" about cell phone usage during meals? Tour companies can have strange rules about all kinds of stuff I've found and not all of them are waved in your face, you have to read their website for stuff like that. And the way the woman phrased it as "this is not a meal where we have cell phones out" makes me wonder if that could be the case. Not defending her because I think either way it was not a big deal and she should have just STFU.

This kind of stuff is on my mind because my husband and I are planning a trip next summer and after watching umpteen videos on the ins and outs of taking guided tours I've found that there are often rules about photography, behavior, timeliness, staying with the group, even what size bag or back pack you can bring, you name it. 

 

Edited December 5 by Cloud9Shopper

[Caoimhe]

9 hours ago, Ancaster said:

What?

(Swear word that begins with an F)-ing B(with the last four letters of witch).  I use it all the time in real life (well, when I feel it’s required!) but learned ages ago it was likely to result in a ban on many message boards even though it was never directed at another member of said boards.

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

When I was working at the grocery store I found it incredibly rude when customers would come to the checkout line on their phone and be chatting away, sometimes on speakerphone! We didn’t have a rule against it (since they were big on “the customer is always right”) but that was one time I wish we did! I just gave bare minimum service and didn’t engage them until they hung up the phone.

Yes, I remember you talking about stuff like that in the work thread. Very different situation and I agree with you. 

My only pet peeve about cell phones in restaurants is when people use them loudly enough to bother neighboring diners like using games with annoying noises and playing videos. And that seems to be getting more common these days, especially in lower priced chain restaurants. I have not encountered it in mid to higher priced restaurants. But what you were doing was not bothering anyone so that woman was out of line in a few ways. She is not the enforcer of cell phone rules or etiquette in that group or at that restaurant even if there were such rules. My mother, who could be outspoken at times like that would have politely told her to "mind her own business", LOL.

Speaking of that, I was having a nostalgia moment several months ago and went to an Olive Garden for lunch with my husband. We were there after the lunch rush so it was relatively quiet, but a group a few tables away from us were watching a rather loud, annoying video on a cell phone. It wasn't just the noise of the video that was annoying but their loud reactions to it as well. The people sitting at the booth right opposite theirs were visibly annoyed and called over the waitress to ask them to stop, which she did. I don't know if restaurants have rules about that kind of disruption, but if not they should. And in that case it wouldn't be about the cell phone itself but the noise they were making in general.

[EtheltoTillie]

It's considered rude to scroll your phone while at a group dinner -- e.g., family or friends.  If you have to make or take an actual call, you should get up.

But it seems like @Cloud9Shopper was simply scrolling her phone briefly in a group of strangers.  You're not required to chitchat over a meal with a bunch of random people who happened to buy a ticket to the same one-day tour just because you're forced to eat with them.  That woman was out of line (and I doubt she was referring to some tour company rule).  And tour companies can't really enforce rules like that against phone use unless you're going on a tour of a sacred building or a lecture or something of that nature.

 

 

Edited December 5 by EtheltoTillie

[Dimity]

Today I got Christmas lists for the grandkids and the three that are reading independently included books on their list. The peeve is they will only read graphic novels.  Sigh. 

I get it, really I do.   Better they read something, anything, rather than nothing at all.  But I admit it, I am disappointed that they don't want to read more traditional books. 

I'd love to give copies of books I treasured at their ages but if it hasn't been rewritten as a graphic novel I'm wasting my money.   Moan...moan...moan...

Edited December 5 by Dimity

[Ohiopirate02]

20 minutes ago, Dimity said:

Today I got Christmas lists for the grandkids and the three that are reading independently included books on their list. The peeve is they will only read graphic novels.  Sigh. 

I get it, really I do.   Better they read something, anything, rather than nothing at all.  But I admit it, I am disappointed that they don't want to read more traditional books. 

I'd love to give copies of books I treasured at their ages but if it hasn't been rewritten as a graphic novel I'm wasting my money.   Moan...moan...moan...

LeVar Burton would be ashamed of you Dimity. I kid gently. Good news is that if you want your grandkids to be readers graphic novels truly are the way to go. When it comes to reading for pleasure, you have to give kids the books they want to read and not the books (general) you think they should be reading based on their age and reading level. Honestly that is what schools are for and the kids will be reading those "appropriate" books there. Let them have fun when not in school and read those graphic novels. You might also be able to find some that are based on those beloved books you remember.

[Dimity]

3 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

You might also be able to find some that are based on those beloved books you remember.

Oh that's what I've been doing which was what led me to my rant here!  Honestly I think just about every beloved childhood classic has been reworked as a graphic novel!

[annzeepark914]

24 minutes ago, Dimity said:

Oh that's what I've been doing which was what led me to my rant here!  Honestly I think just about every beloved childhood classic has been reworked as a graphic novel!

Do girls still read Nancy Drew? Are Nancy & her boyfriend, Ned, now living together? 😉

[Dimity]

6 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

Do girls still read Nancy Drew? Are Nancy & her boyfriend, Ned, now living together? 😉

Don't get me started!  I tried to watch the recent TV show based on Nancy Drew and all I can say is that sure wasn't MY Nancy Drew!!

[PRgal]

@Dimity How old are they?  My son is six and has recently discovered the Stink series.  If your grandkids like scientific facts, for example, Stink might be the way to go!  There ARE pictures, since it's written for the Grade 1-3 age range, but they're not in colour and not on every page.  It gets kids used to chapter books in a more traditional format.  They're written by Megan McDonald of the Judy Moody books (Stink is Judy's brother). 

Edited December 5 by PRgal

[Absolom]

I'm lucky the grandkids like both graphic novels and traditional books.  For gifts I'm about 75 per cent fun reading and 25 more traditional.  Dog Man is their grab it immediately series.  They wore out 1 through 5.  

[annzeepark914]

Well...I gotta question. What do you all mean by "graphic" when it pertains to kids books? 

[isalicat]

11 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

Well...I gotta question. What do you all mean by "graphic" when it pertains to kids books? 

Comic book style versions of familiar stories...nothing "adult" in the usual sense of that word. My son writes graphic novels set in a dystopian future that are entirely for adults, so graphic books can be for any age or predilection...

[Dimity]

16 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

Well...I gotta question. What do you all mean by "graphic" when it pertains to kids books? 

 

[Anela]

49 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

Well...I gotta question. What do you all mean by "graphic" when it pertains to kids books? 

The Walking Dead started out as a comic book.  Things like that.  

[chitowngirl]

My husband is constantly asking me to “remind” him of this and “remind” him of that. Dude-you have a phone and an iPad. We have paper and pens…use them! And if I asked you to remind me of everything I need to do, especially in the next 3 weeks, your head would explode.

[Cloud9Shopper]

How long it takes some people to say goodbye! I was at a party with my mom tonight, and we had driven separately but she was going to walk back to my car with me since it was dark out and I thought it would be better to walk with her. We both put our coats on…25 minutes later she is still chatting away with other attendees. I was really close to walking out without her. 

I try not to get caught up in that honestly. Once I’m ready to leave somewhere I want to get out as quick as I can, not stand there 30 minutes later still yapping. It also sucks when I’m waiting to talk to someone (we’ll call this hypothetical person Person A), but Person B just will not wrap it up with Person A and could keep going all night, not realizing that I’m waiting nearby to talk as well.

There’s a bar on my parents’ street (my mom and stepdad live in my grandparents’ old house, so the bar has been there for forever), and even my grandfather used to say “Just say goodnight already!” when the bar patrons would talk on the sidewalk forever. 

[Bastet]

2 hours ago, chitowngirl said:

My husband is constantly asking me to “remind” him of this and “remind” him of that. Dude-you have a phone and an iPad. We have paper and pens…use them! And if I asked you to remind me of everything I need to do, especially in the next 3 weeks, your head would explode.

Jennifer Siebel Newsom (of the fantastic Miss Representation) did a documentary titled Fair Play a couple of years ago after reading Eve Rodsky's book of the same name.  It's about gender inequality in the housework and childcare among heterosexual couples generally, and does a good job describing the emotional labor women are expected to carry, even with men who do slightly closer to an equal share of the work than the average guy -- she's the one who keeps track of everything that needs to be done, requiring her to specifically guide him through "helping" with those tasks, instead of him being a grown-ass person who sees something needs to be done and does it.  So whatever share of physical labor he's doing (which, of course, is almost never actually 50%), he's not taking on much if any of the emotional labor.

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, chitowngirl said:

My husband is constantly asking me to “remind” him of this and “remind” him of that. Dude-you have a phone and an iPad. We have paper and pens…use them! And if I asked you to remind me of everything I need to do, especially in the next 3 weeks, your head would explode.

Oh, that's because in a nutshell he expects you to manage his life in addition to yours. Because your life revolves around his and exists to serve him. This is the unconscious (or even conscious) expectation of pretty much every man I've ever known no matter how "woke" or "liberated" they are, including my husband. Although he would never ask me to do that, it's still there in other ways even though he's not as bad as some men I've known. And if you confront them with it they act like they have no clue what you're talking about. This is what the articles are talking about when they say that women have changed toward not accepting this arrangement but men have largely not changed as much or at all to meet them in return.

[supposebly]

7 hours ago, Yeah No said:

women have changed toward not accepting this arrangement but men have largely not changed as much or at all to meet them in return.

This is why, even if I would partner up again, I would never again live with a guy. So many men of my generation haven't caught up. The implicit assumption that I'm there to manage cohabitated life, is just not worth arguing about for me.

I have an old boyfriend from my 20s I'm still friends with, who has raised his son in the last few years (divorce about 10 years ago) and manages most of the care for his parents. And he was pretty good about things when we did live together. I wonder if he would be the shining exception. There were other reasons I broke up with him but from I remember, that wasn't one of them.

[fastiller]

11 hours ago, chitowngirl said:

My husband is constantly asking me to “remind” him of this and “remind” him of that. Dude-you have a phone and an iPad. We have paper and pens…use them! And if I asked you to remind me of everything I need to do, especially in the next 3 weeks, your head would explode.

=&=

7 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Oh, that's because in a nutshell he expects you to manage his life in addition to yours. ... [W]omen have changed toward not accepting this arrangement but men have largely not changed as much or at all to meet them in return.

=&=

7 minutes ago, supposebly said:

This is why, even if I would partner up again, I would never again live with a guy. So many men of my generation haven't caught up. The implicit assumption that I'm there to manage cohabitated life, is just not worth arguing about for me.

I really & truly lucked out with my late husband.  He didn't need to be reminded to do anything.  Laundry? Done! Cooking? Done! Yardwork? Done! (We really were a 50/50 household.)  I think it was because he had lived on his own/mostly on his own for most of his adult life and just got on with doing stuff.  His mother passed away when he was mid-teens & for a while it was just him & his father.   His father passed away a few years before he & I met, so he was already doing all these chores for himself.

And much like @supposebly, this is part of the reason I can't see myself ever again living with a partner.  He spoiled me for the 18 years we were together.

[Mindthinkr]

My peeve today is fixing my accounts after a fraud issue. So I dealt with the bank, the sheriff’s dept and now I have to have that card removed from many accounts. Some only allow you to do it online. Those sites aren’t always easy to navigate. Some places made it easy, but now I’m peeved because I usually play Mahjong on Friday afternoons and this is taking up so much time that I had to cancel. After I get through all the prompts to get to a human, I can be on hold for over a hour.